FUCK YOU, SUCKER: The Definitive Review

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Fuck you, Anthony Fantano. You know you’re wrong. You know it.

I’ve written before on the merits of pop music, so rather than again defending that dead horse I’m going to simply talk about the new Charli XCX record, Sucker.

Sucker, as I’ve previously stated, is a pop album for a grittier, darker generation. While other pop artists are being self-deprecating to bubblegum beats, or trying to be zany and just looking stupid, or straight-up jumping on the EDM money train, Charli XCX draws from the underbelly of London’s grimy electronic music culture, adds a healthy dose of pop punk, and throws in a dash of pop sensibility to create a unique offering in the contemporary music scene.

From its opening moments, Sucker tells you exactly what kind of album it’s going to be. The chorus of the title track that starts off the album shouts out “FUCK YOU, SUCKER!” with a perfect combination of aggression and playfulness. Synths and real instruments weave in and out of each other to create a diametric atmosphere of raw energy and modern fluidity, and Charli XCX’s “go fuck yourself” attitude shines through and above it all.

Click here to listen to “Sucker”. Thanks, YouTube.

For those of you who enjoy a more old-school vibe in their pop, Charli XCX more than delivers. The song “Doing It” is a groovy blend of slap bass and 80s style synths — something the whole family can bob their side-ponytails to while seeing just how gaudy they can make their spandex.

But if “Doing It” is Charli XCX’s nod to 80s pop, then “Breaking Up” is her counter. Laden with distorted guitar and raw production, “Breaking Up” showcases the UK scene in which Charli XCX clearly had been steeped her whole life.

This darker influence is palpable throughout the entirety of the album, but is best showcased on the juvenile rebellion anthem, “Break The Rules.” The dirty bass, the driving beat, the epic buildup climaxing in a catchy-as-hell synth line all come together perfectly to create the album’s crowning achievement that will bring you back to your high school days of being angry with your parents for providing for you, being angry with the system for educating you, and being angry with your teenage peers for . . . something, I guess.

Having sung this album’s praises into the Porcelain Throne, I also have to do a bit of pre-emptive flushing. I have two criticisms of this album: first, the lyrics are vapid. Charli XCX clearly puts more energy into creating a mood than thinking about wordsmithing. Looking at the lyrics separate from the songs would probably turn me off of the album completely, but in the context of the music and Charli XCX’s delivery, they seem to work — or at least I can ignore their blatant stupidity. And second: “Boom Clap.” That song fucking sucks.

Considering I hadn’t heard the entire album by the time it made my year-end list, I think everyone will know the verdict of my review here. Check this album out, if you already haven’t. Even if you don’t end up liking it, hearing unique popular music is rare enough that it will feel like a breath of fresh air.

NO FLUSH

(Image via)

  • Howard Dean
  • BLVKKBEVRD

    First I thought she might be hot, I think I’ve reconsidered

  • Gurptitude

    I’m not that much of a lifelover.

    • Gurptitude

      Oh wait, yes I am.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Enjoy smiling, lifelover.

        • Gurptitude

          Sometimes it hurts.

  • JamesGrimm

    Die in a fire.

    • You’re welcome to disagree with the opinions or content posted to this site. You are not welcome to suggest someone die in a fire.

      • Nordling Rites ov Kahlua

        Die in a blizzard then perhaps

      • JamesGrimm

        It was meant for anyone who considers this art, subjectivly or otherwise, and for the artists themselves.

        • Guacamole Jim

          Oh hai

        • Gurptitude

          Oh, THAT makes it all better!

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Really?

  • Guacamole Jim

    Haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate

    http://media.giphy.com/media/KDHkHNpM3Eht6/giphy.gif

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

      Nope. Taylor Swift is my least favorite “musician” of the last 10 years.

      • You mean you like T Swift less than these kids? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViSZI6UJEUQ

        • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

          I hate these kids. They’re equal with Tay Tay on my hate list.

          • That seems pretty irrational

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            It’s not. Taylor Swift is autotuned, computerized garbage who writes very few of her own songs. Same goes for Design The Skyline who at least disbanded last year.

          • The Bestest Tapir

            Yo, they got back together.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!!

          • The Bestest Tapir

            They gonna release a new album this year. It’s gonna be on JJD’s best of 2015 list.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            NO IT’S NOT. I HATE THEM.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            You would.

          • The Bestest Tapir

            Would you not?

        • Fuck you for making me aware of this……these kids with instruments

    • FeelTheDarkness

      I was in a Sheetz restroom this morning taking a piss and I kid you not Shake It Off came on over the PA.

      • Guacamole Jim

        That’s too perfect, man.

        • FeelTheDarkness

          Good thing I was in there by myself cause I was cracking the fuck up.

    • My jimmies rustling-detector is tingling!

      • Guacamole Jim

        There are some jimmies a-rustling this morning for sure!

    • Renan Ribeiro

      Sometimes I spend 30 seconds without hearing this song in my head. Those times are happy times.

  • YourLogicIsFlushed

    I am confused, since when is it punk to basically turn into a modern Britteny Spears? Despite your kind words Jim, I just can’t see the difference between this and any other pop.

  • Is this will going to be #TaylorSwift 2015?

    • Did you ever see Cruel Intentions? I think she’s like the Sarah Michelle Gellar to Taylor Swift’s Reese Witherspoon.
      /I’ll see myself out forever now.

      • I get confvsed in the ‘see’ word, jajajaja.

        • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

          AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

      • Howard Dean

        Holy fuck Sarah Michelle Gellar was so hot in that movie. Goddamn. #MiddleSchoolFantasies

  • FeelTheDarkness

    Pass

  • Tyree
  • Nordling Rites ov Kahlua

    So this is manufactured pop for all whi don’t want to end up being manufactured pip to. The perfect scheme, it worked apparently

    • Guacamole Jim

      I won’t disagree with your analysis.

    • You say manufactured pop like it’s a bad thing.

      • Nordling Rites ov Kahlua

        You misunderstand my purpose.

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

        I hate manufactured pop from today. It’s just not good. At least the pop from the 80’s had talent behind it. Look at Depeche Mode. They were pop but they have talent and they still fill giant arenas. They will be remembered long after Tay Tay and Charli XCX have been forgotten.

        • DDubya.

          I think when it comes to music that we have the benefit of selective hindsight for past generations. What you’re forgetting is that for all the Depeche Modes, there are still plenty of other pop bands that put out trite crap in every generation.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            There was trite pop like The Jets and Culture Club but they have been forgotten about. Duran Duran and Depeche Mode have not been forgotten. Same goes for Ultravox and Simple Minds.

          • DDubya.

            I think the fact that you mentioned them indicates that they aren’t forgotten. As an illustration, I’d also say that Britney Spears was never very good, but she somehow still clings to fame to this day.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            The Jets are basically The Partridge Family of the 80’s. I prefer The Partridge Family.

          • Maik Beninton

            Anyone remember Tears for Fears
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ye7FKc1JQe4

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            Yeah. I love them.

          • Gurptitude

            I wonder how much of that is voluntary and how much of it is THAT FAT BITCH HAD A BABY HOW DARE SHE

          • KJM

            Culture Club sucked donkey ballz but at least Boy George could actually sing.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            I despise them. Also, a lot of the 80’s pop bands could sing. Look at Duran Duran. They were good singers as was Depeche Mode.

          • KJM

            Agreed, and I couldn’t stand those bands either.

          • FeelTheDarkness

            Boy George did suck donkey balls

          • Guacamole Jim
          • Yeah, but even the trite crap of previous generations wasn’t annoyingly autotuned crappage. I can’t listen to any of this shit and it’s not because of my age. Katy Perry, for example, can sing her ass off but she chooses not to sound like she has any natural talent.

          • DDubya.

            The autotune annoys me too. I’m not trying to say that all pop music of today is crap. I’m just saying that every generation has stinkers, so we shouldn’t act like all pop music today sucks compared to the glorious 80s.

          • The ’80s were glorious though 😛

            There was plenty of stupid music in the eighties for sure. Even though I loved “hair metal” then and now some of it was pure shit and a pale shadow of the good bands.

          • DDubya.

            I don’t mind Twisted Sister, but honestly I struggle to tolerate the vast majority of hair metal. Not sure if you’d call them glam, but I can actually dig some Scorpions too.

          • I like eighties Scorpions better than seventies Scorpions. …but yeah: like Blackout and Love at First Sting are both in the JAG record collection.

          • DDubya.
          • Hell, yes. Good stuff.

          • Tyree

            This cover art is so goddamn metal. FORK YOUR FUCKING EYES OUT!!!

          • CyberneticOrganism
          • I really do miss that time. I didn’t think I would then but I sure do now. #oldfartfax

          • CyberneticOrganism

            I’ve been really into synthwave music like this for a couple years now, and I think the fun of it is that it embraces the pop-culture-consciousness version of the 80s as we see them today through the lens of admiration/nostalgia, and not necessarily how they were at the time.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          Just wait another 20-30 years, people will be saying “At least pop from the 2010s had talent behind it. Look at Charlie XCX”

          • BINGO

          • DDubya.

            This is my point exactly. Comparing pop today to the very best pop from yesteryear is an effort in futility and is just wasted nostalgia.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Pop music is a flat circle.

      • Lacertilian

        Manufactured pop I can listen to, sometimes..
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDpdpE00rfI

  • The Bestest Tapir

    Fantano is love, Fantano is life.

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

      Do you hate Taylor Swift as much as I do?

      • The Bestest Tapir

        Probably.

        • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

          Yay! We agree on something we hate!

    • Guacamole Jim

      I actually quite enjoy his reviews, for the most part. I don’t always agree with him, though.

      • Gurptitude

        No one ever agrees 100%, anyway.

        I’ve seen a few of his videos and was surprised by how fair-minded he was with everything. Not sure why he gets flack for being a hipster or whatever.

      • The Bestest Tapir

        Dimmatony Darntano is right about Charli XCX not being good.

        • Guacamole Jim

          How many points do I lose for this, then? Am I still in the positive for Magma?

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            I love Magma! They’re so good and they made their own language which is awesome.

          • Guacamole Jim

            They get me in all the right spots.

          • The Bestest Tapir

            I dunno.

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    The music above posted is total fucking shit.

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

      Exactly.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        You would.

      • Tyree

        WOOD

        • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

          I see no wood here.

          • Zing Once A Day…

            Can’t see the wood from the trees… I’ll show myself out.

        • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

          Now I see it.

    • JamesGrimm

      Gratuitous hipstering going on in this site….

  • Hubert, Goat ov/of D00M

    Toilet ov Hell, for your daily dose of industrial sludgeskronk and pop music.

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain
  • JamesGrimm

    did I do it right guys?…..am I annoying now??

    http://youtu.be/9ULXgJ18xuY

    • DDubya.

      I, uh, don’t dislike this.

      • JamesGrimm

        aaaaawwww, c’mon man! Everyone has to like everyting on this site!…..or at least waste others time!

        • DDubya.

          Hmmm? I’m a bit confused. I liked what you posted.

          • JamesGrimm

            Derka derka, meme meme.

          • DDubya.

            I think it’s trying to communicate with me.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Go home captain, you’re drunk

  • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

    Here’s another example of bad pop. It may be catchy but that doesn’t mean it’s good. Do yourself a favor. Listen to Lana Del Rey if you want good pop music. Also, this will probably rustle McNulty’s jimmies to an extreme degree.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PCkvCPvDXk

  • JamesGrimm

    A little closer.

    http://youtu.be/p62rfWxs6a8

    • Regina Spektor is good. Actually sounds like she can sing without obnoxious pitch correction.

      • JamesGrimm

        But its hipster stuff!!!11! derp derp. ya im a fan, but the majority of her fanbase are crap humans.

        • I think she sounds a bit like Sarah McLachlan…and I’m ok with that.

          Yeah, calling everything “hipster” is getting really fucking old. People will like what they like regardless of how we try to classify them.

      • Lacertilian

        She can, I took my missus to see her for her b’day one year at the Sydney Opera House. Pretty fucking good show. I enjoy her note choices on the keys.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnYDuKSzQpM

  • JamesGrimm
  • Complete garbage. Fuck autotune.

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain
  • Scrimm

    OH MY GOD!!! They are redoing the floors of the apartment underneath mine and the workers are blaring fucking Van Halen. I can hear it through my floor. Brb, about to go empty a clip into their radio.

    • FeelTheDarkness

      Sammy or Dave?

      • Scrimm

        It must be a playlist or a comp cause first I heard Sammy and right now it’s Dave.

        • Don’t hate on Diamond Dave. VH was The Shit.

          • Scrimm

            Worst band in history, with either singer.

          • I’ll find you.

          • Scrimm

          • YOU TELL HIM, VAN HALEN >>>

          • Scrimm

            Better than nothing? Pretty much.

          • Gurptitude

            Someone’s asking for a wedgie.

          • Scrimm

            Good luck, The worst wedgie in the world would be better than listening to that.

          • Gurptitude

            The wedgie will be administered to the tune of “And the Cradle Will Rock” by Van Halen.

          • Scrimm

            I’ll just use my jiu jitsu to escape and run like hell.

        • FeelTheDarkness

          Dave I can take. Hagar the Horrible can fuck right off

          • Ever notice that Hagar doesn’t even try to hit higher notes? Half the time he just sings what’s supposed to be a higher note “louder.” “So baby dry your eyes…save all the tears You! CRIED!”

          • FeelTheDarkness

            He sucks Boy Georges donkey balls

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

        Dave. Enough said. I like Sammy but he not worthy to polish David Lee Roth’s microphone stand.

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain
      • FeelTheDarkness

        Just for the Lolbuttz

        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          Such a shit fucking song. Had to post.

          • FeelTheDarkness

            It is fucking dreadful

          • Scrimm

            Just like all of their songs.

      • Howard Dean

        This is like the Holocaust or The Great Leap Forward. And I don’t think that’s a hyperbolic statement to make.

      • Scrimm

        That synthy guitar tone makes me sick every time.

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

        This is Van Failing. I don’t consider Gary Cherone a legitimate Van Halen singer. He’s just the singer for Extreme.

        • BLVKKBEVRD

          Van Failin

          Ftfy

      • Tyree
        • Gluteus_Maximus_Rage

          Wow. Dark. And cute. O.O

  • CyberneticOrganism

    THIS IS NOT AMBIENT/BLACK/NOISE/GRIND WTF

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    programmed “sex” music –without the sex—-used as psychological metaphors—to “educate” pubescent youth—using misguided “kinseyan” sexual “rape” voyeur metaphors–to instill in reverse fashion—that kids are “breaking the rules”—if they dont participate in govt forced agenda/and that conformist prison uniforms are “desirable”

    sex as cheese –for perceived rats—-who are guided into sexless sterile prisons,hatred,and lies

    warner bros=new nazism——(same old nazism)—-agent of disinformation and censorship–thru exclusive access to controlled media–

    rape of the defenseless

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Mmm, sex cheese

      • BLVKKBEVRD

        Nooooooo I wanted to talk about the sex cheese

        • schmegma

          • eeeeeewwww

          • it’s more fun because people are going to google it now

          • Herr Schmitty

            Fun fact: My sister got schmegma as a nickname when she was like 5. By the rest of my family. Because her name is Meg.

            My family, all dumpster folks, myself included!

          • Mr. Bojangles

            my favorite…how long as it been aging?

    • And the moment we’ve all been waiting for

  • DDubya.

    Can I share something with y’all? I really don’t care for the Beatles.

    • I struggle deciding which is the most overrated sack of crap with the worst fans: The Beatles or Nirvana.

      • BLVKKBEVRD

        Nirvana

      • Scrimm

        That’s a tough choice.

      • Guest

        Nirvana>>>>>>>> the Beatles

      • Hubert, Goat ov/of D00M

        I’ve encountered more fuckin Nirvana fans than Beatles fans, but they’re about equal.

        • JamesGrimm

          Beatles fans are way more casual about their fandumb. At least nirvana fans pretend to have some personality behind it.

          • Hubert, Goat ov/of D00M

            Ugh, I hate fanboys with personality. It makes it harder for me to hate them.

          • JamesGrimm

            I hate fans with no passion.

        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          Quite the opposite for me.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        I like Nirvana, and I’m meh about the Beatles. No fucks.

        • DDubya.

          I honestly would have never expected you to like Nirvana, but that’s okay. That’s just like, your opinion, man.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            I mentioned it eons ago on MS. I was a kid, and that was the first band I discovered on my own. Yes Kurt was a terrible musician and yes they get worshipped, but that was also the last time mainstream music had any cunting balls.

          • DDubya.

            Ah, I see where you’re coming from. KSOFM, you routinely surprise me in the best possible way. I think the reasons you listed are why I don’t dislike later-era Metallica as much as most people. They really were my gateway metal band.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Yeah, but I hate to say gateway, but I guess you could call them that anyway. Besides, Kurt hated life. That seems pretty damn OK in my book.

          • DDubya.

            He hated life more than many black metal musicians could ever dream to.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Precisely. He embraced the cunting void and never looked back.

          • DDubya.

            See also: Tool. there are probably hundreds of metal bands that write more complex music than they do, they’re held in weirdly high esteem, and their fanbase is one of the worst things in the world, but they made quite the impression on young Dubya, so I still like them.

          • iugh, Tool fans are like racoons on heroin when you say something about that band.

          • DDubya.

            I think Tool has the highest quotient of dudebros who think they’re smart for listening to a band.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Exactly.

          • BLVKKBEVRD

            See: all jam bands

          • they’ll do a favor to the prog-listener community shooting themselves in their knees.

          • Tyree

            SPOT ON!.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Yeah, I hear ya. But I really don’t like tool. It’s amazing how many humans will ruin a band.

          • YourLogicIsFlushed

            Samsies, I just really enjoy, like, their vibe, man.

          • KJM

            Every popular band has a moron faction in their fan base, always been that way.

          • Herr Schmitty

            Such could be expanded to every ‘group’ of humans to have ever existed; political affiliations, band fandom, sports team fandom, interpretations of philosophers, what-the-fuck-ever; if there are humans in a group, it’s a safe bet that many of them are totally awful dumpster people and that some of them are pretty solid!

          • DDubya.

            I’m with you Schmitty. Fandoms are the worst part of anything.

          • Yup see A. Rosenburg re: Pig Destroyer.

          • Metallica is another band that we could add to our list.

            So far: Beatles, Nirvana, Tool. Who will be next? Stay tune in our new show: ‘Mainstream band with shitty fanbase behavior”. Brought to you by The Toilet ov Hell, your reliable source for listening bandcamp black merol, sonic despair, violent sounds and crazy pop-twists.

          • KJM

            All the “classic” bands, Zeppelin, Rush(especially the Randians).

          • Lacertilian

            I’m yet to meet a Zeppelin fan I dislike.
            Nirvana on the other hand..

          • KJM

            I’ve met way too many meathead Zeppelin fans way back when.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            Young Dubya grew into slightly older Dubya, so I like that cat.

          • Max

            He was actually a Celtic Frost fan, too.

          • BLVKKBEVRD

            Look at me, I’m successful in pandering angst to teenagers whom I still identify with because of my stunted emotional state. Let’s do heroin and fuck this disgusting blond whore. I’d want to kill myself too

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Hahaha. Love it. I like Nirvana, but I also love the hate they get.

          • Tyree

            Courtney Love will do that to a man.

          • DDubya.

            On the coat-tails of a dead man she rides, she rides.

          • Maik Beninton

            Those are the reasons why I like Linkin Park and other bands the people on this blog shit on.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            I love nu metal. That’s already known but none of you knew I like stuff like My Chemical Romance before that. I loved Hawthorne Heights, Green Day, Silverstein, Taking Back Sunday and especially My Chemical Romance back when they were big. I wasn’t even in third grade when I bought American Idiot. That’s what rooted my love for music. Nu metal rooted my love for metal. The bands mentioned above were what got me into music.

          • DDubya.

            I knew that stuff because you’ve mentioned it multiple times.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            I haven’t mentioned My Chemical Romance before, have I? If I have mentioned them I’d be surprised.

          • DDubya.

            You have

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            I must have forgotten about that.

          • DDubya.

            I have nothing further to add, so here’s a gif. http://gfycat.com/MisguidedMedicalCoqui

          • Gurptitude

            You would.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            I sure would. I’m proud of that fact. I’m very open minded about a lot of things.

          • Maik Beninton

            High five.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            I like you a lot. We have very similar taste when it comes to that kind of music.

          • Maik Beninton
          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            You aren’t alone. You should have seen my face when I saw Hawthorne Heights at Warped. I was so fucking happy to see them and even happier to meet them.

          • Tyree

            WOOD.

          • RidiculeTheProphetMuhammad

            You just can’t say no to music can you?

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            I love music. I love all kinds of music.

          • Guacamole Jim

            Except for Charli XCX. SMH

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            Exactly. In all seriousness I only hate artists, not genres.

          • RidiculeTheProphetMuhammad

            I feel challenged to try to find a genre you hate.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            You can try. I’m sure you’ll find something though.

        • I don’t like Nirvana, but this song is good! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vabnZ9-ex7o

        • Maik Beninton

          Same for me.

        • Tyree
        • you would.

        • Same here, no ill will towards Nirvana.

      • Maik Beninton

        Nirvana is the new Beatles.
        Everyone who talk about them say how they were the band that revolutionized the music industry and ended in a tragic way.

      • Edward/Breegrodamus

        Woah woah there Joe I am still a fan of Nirvana.

        • You are now my sworn enemy.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            … since technically you are my Toilet superior can we just forget about my last post here? Pls keep letting me do stuff.

        • But, you’re not one of those shitty fans, mr. Ed! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViOxWqNSRUg

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            No, I have never been an over the top horrible fan of Nirvana, that’s true. Other stuff though.

      • Mr. Bojangles

        Nirvana sucks, I’ll give you that (and so do the Beatles). But I do like Nirvana.

        • Glad to see you still think so highly of me 🙂 refresh for image.

          GL

          • Mr. Bojangles

            I’ll punch you in the butt

          • So that is right up your alley then? Butt punching?

            GL

          • Mr. Bojangles

            if by alley you mean anus, then yes.

          • FLAGGED FOR LOLBUTTZING MY BUTTZ

            GL

          • Mr. Bojangles

            reported

          • cosigned

            GL

          • Herr Schmitty

            But will it be a tongue punch or a fist punch? And will it be sexually charged? Inquiring minds, etc.

          • Mr. Bojangles

            why must we ask questions we already know the answer to, Schmitty?

          • Herr Schmitty

            Well, I mean, I guess I knew the answer to sexually charged, but definitely legit curious about tongue V. Fist!

      • RidiculeTheProphetMuhammad

        Different age groups makes it tough to compare. I guess I’ll go with the Beatles fans are worse. They tend to be COMPLETELY stuck in the past, way worse than Nirvana fans.

      • Renan Ribeiro

        AC/DC

      • PhoenixKing Leonhart

        Nirvana has possibly the worst fanbase ever. They’re like Emmure fans before Emmure ever existed; You even THINK about bashing Kurt and they’ll be all over you.

        I’d rather deal with Sepultura fans than Nirvana fans.

        Edit: Only Moderntallica fans are worse. And only by a small margin.

      • Nirvana, hands down. Beatles fans tend to have a pretty broad base of people, whereas hardcore Nirvana fans are idiots who complain about how Kurt was some tortured artist rather than acknowledging that the shit that made him miserable he brought on himself.

    • BLVKKBEVRD

      Me neither. We hate a lot of the same stuff dubs

    • Hubert, Goat ov/of D00M

      Me neither! We have so much in common!

    • Scrimm

      ME EITHER!!!

    • Guacamole Jim

      THANK YOU

      • Edward/Breegrodamus

        Guac Jim I am late to this party but fantastic review, and way to call out Anthony Flametano lol.

        • Guacamole Jim

          Thanks NegroD!!

          • Scrimm

            Yes Jim this was good. Meant to mention that before evrything went off topic.

          • Guacamole Jim

            Thanks Scrimm! Things went a little south, but that’s okay. You run risks when posting about pop music on a metal website (see Christian Molenaar’s Taylor Swift review hahaha).

          • Scrimm

            It takes guts. Some of that stuff has a lot more talent than people would admit. Even if the album sucks the review was well put together.

    • Gurptitude

      Me neither!

    • The Beatles, for me, are a good band that did something to the music industry that anybody else could do. I don’t get the praise. They were good musicians (and got a GOOD marketing machinery behind them), but I really don’t get why a lot of people put them in a Pantheon and worship them.

    • Stockhausen

      They definitely did some stuff, and some things. But yeah, not interested at all.

    • Howard Dean

      Some of their crazy, drugged out music during their LSD days is kind of interesting (Sgt. Pepper’s and Magical Mystery Tour era), but other than that: *flush*

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

        I love very few Beatles albums. Magical Mystery Tour and The White Album rule. Sgt Pepper’s is extremely overrated in my opinion. The album Forever Changes by Love is a much better album which is similar in theme to Sgt Pepper’s.

      • I’ve only listened full Abbey Road. Just liked first song. I didn’t finished Sgt. Pepper’s because I fall asleep. I get kind of sleepy with that 60/70 undistorted guitar tone, I don’t know why :S

        • Howard Dean

          I primarily like Magical Mystery Tour for “Strawberry Fields Forever” and “I Am The Walrus.”

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            I own it on vinyl with those two double album compilations of The Beatles which has 1962-66 and 1967-70. It’s all the Beatles stuff you’ll ever need on two compilations.

      • Renan Ribeiro

        Things get interesting with Rubber Soul album, but some songs are just meh. Still like ’em though, not to the point of blind worship.

    • JamesGrimm

      BBOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!

    • Tyree

      Same duder. The Shitty Beatles.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPIpeW581rE

      • Hey guys (sorry for spamming the top comment), you ever heard of Acrania??

        SHIT IS SLAMMING! Some weedles dees/slams/goodness. Anyone jam it before???

        GL

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zx687cHc9vg

        • DDubya.

          I’m trying to remember who first turned me onto this. Maybe Flushgod? Siqqq stuff.

          • It is the perfect combination of Whitechapel/DespisedIcon/buttz!

            GL

          • #slambuttzcore jajaja #patentpending

          • Scrimm

            I know Jack was all over them.

        • Tyree

          BEER CORPSE.

          • more beer

            Holy shit dude looks like he swallowed a pony keg and I don`t mean just the contents.

          • Probably cirrhosis. That tends to cause the massive bloating (from all sorts of fluid retention) like that.

          • more beer

            Very valid point I have a friend who had a liver transplant in November and he was very bloated like that before the surgery.

        • Scrimm

          I have this, pretty good. I like this similarly named band a little better https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRqOzA_3sxs

        • Gluteus_Maximus_Rage

          I actually discovered them through this very Toilet in one of the new releases posts last year. SHIT IS INDEED SLAMMIN’!
          *high fives then slams Jack Daniels & Coke out of my very nice Jack Daniels glass*

        • Rizzle01

          I have been jamming this album hard the last couple of weeks!

      • The fact that this meme exists makes me want to fucking end it.

      • DDubya.

        Yes it is. Poser.

        • I’ve NEVER HEARD SOMEONE WITH THIS OPINION BEFORE

          • DDubya.

            Sounds like those other people are pretty on the ball.

          • That was sarcasm, I swear the majority of metalheads I know “hate” or “dislike” the Beatles, which is fine, but usually haven’t even listened to a single album, and even more embarassingly, sometimes spout proudly that they hate the Beatles without being able to name a single song that feeds their hate. It is the absolute height of ignorance, and annoys the hell out of me.

            I’m sure you’ve given them a decent chance, and I only know the White album, so whatever you like keep on liking.

          • DDubya.

            I have heard quite a lot of the Beatles. My folks were fans. My dad was really into the Eagles too, so I heard a lot of those bands growing up. And weirdly enough, I haven’t met very many people, metalheads included, who dislike the Beatles. In fact, of the metalheads I know IRL (which is few), most of them actually like the Beatles.

          • FeelTheDarkness

            I despise the Eagles. I wish they would go away forever

          • Scrimm

            Me too man, me too.

          • Give it about 29 more ‘final’ tours, and they’ll finally call it quits.

          • BLVKKBEVRD
          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            I love that line. It’s my favorite line in the movie. I hate them because they charge extreme prices for tickets and they’re the biggest assholes you’d ever meet. My cousin does sound and lighting for concerts and he did it for them. That’s his exact words that they’re the biggest assholes.

          • I feel like it’s kind of a Southern thing, becuase the Beatles are “weak pussy music” and pantera/classic/southern rock is what’s good music

          • KJM

            Ozzy, Peter Steele, and Lars Ulrich all believe that metal wouldn’t exist without The Beatles.

          • JamesGrimm

            I’m a huge fan of Steele. Paul McCartney is his reason for playing music.

          • KJM

            Peter died on my 43rd birthday. This will rustle my jimmies for the rest of my life. Gah.

          • JamesGrimm

            I saw him 6 months before he died at the house of blues. He looked like he was at deaths door. I wish I could have met him.

          • KJM

            Managed to see TON 4 times.

          • CT-12

            Extremely fucking jealous over here.

          • Same. I met him briefly when I interviewed Moonspell, and he definitely wasn’t looking good at all.

          • JamesGrimm

            lloovveee moonspell.

          • DDubya.

            I’m not saying that they don’t have at least some level of influence. I just don’t care for them.

          • Oddly enough, my dad can’t stand The Beatles either, even when he was growing up.

          • Pretty on whose balls?

      • KJM

        Bwahahahahaha…

      • Scrimm

        Just for that I’m never giving power metal a chance again.

        • Power metal isn’t for posers anyways

          • Scrimm

            It must be, you love it.

          • BLVKKBEVRD

            I take offense

          • Scrimm

          • Can you pick up some groceries while you’re outside the hall?

          • Scrimm

            I have my own hall. Today there is Origin and Cannibal Corpse playing. Tis a good day.

          • BLVKKBEVRD

            If origin didn’t start blowing two albums ago

          • Scrimm

            They didn’t. Entity is awesome.

          • COmuthafuckinSIGNED

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            Jimmy! Are you mad that I hate Meghan Trainor? I commented about my hating of that stupid bass song somewhere here.

          • Scrimm

            High Five! But I also really like Omnipresent.

          • CT-12

            Been getting into “Omnipresent” pretty hard this last month

          • Scrimm

            It’s a solid album.

          • Not really much replay value to their CDs. To me, it sounds like a bunch of noodling.

          • Scrimm

            I was that way for a long time, but they clicked with me at last and now I don’t know how I heard it like that.

    • FeelTheDarkness

      Not a fan either. Their hard core fans act like music was created by them and when they broke up, music died with them. It’s fucking annoying

    • KJM

      Jimmies rustled

      • DDubya.
        • KJM

          I will wear this grudge like a crown.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            Is this because of the Beatles insulting? If so I won’t share my opinions on The Beatles.

          • KJM

            It doesn’t bother me. I take almost nothing on the internet seriously anyway.

          • DDubya.

            This is the way to exist.

          • KJM

            I like to have a good time, but I have enough crap in my real life to allow anything on the web to rent space in my brain. I already take 2 kinds of bp meds, don’t need more.

          • DDubya.

            Oof. Well, I’m glad you take care of yourself.

          • Scrimm

            I had to stop taking my meds, things should get interesting soon.

          • DDubya.

            Dang, well you know how to message me if you ever need a place to vent.

          • Scrimm

            I feel back to normal so far. Just really stressing about getting called back for another interview at this job.

          • Lacertilian

            Dave: Why do they call you Nuts?
            Nuts: Because I’m crazy.
            Dave: You don’t look crazy.
            Nuts: Oh I’m insane. You should see me without my meds. My last job, didn’t take my meds one day… an hour later, I was walking around naked with peanut butter in my hair, telling people my name was Zongo. I delivered an old lady a cup of hot water with my balls in it.
            Dave: [laughs nervously] Talk about your Red Zinger.
            Nuts: Yeah, but I don’t remember any of it. My balls were red though.

          • Scrimm

            I love that character and that movie. underrated.

          • Lacertilian

            Fuck oath.

          • Scrimm

            Who is Guy Meatdrapes?

          • Lacertilian

            I had forgotten about that scene before you mentioned it (have seen at least 2 times).
            Might have to do a Broken Lizard marathon soon.

          • Scrimm

            Same here, I’ve got them all.

          • KJM

            I keep the grim specter of diabetes from my doorstep and I’m nowhere near heart attack country despite the meds, so I’m good.

          • If you need to vent, you can put on this:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p46LPqArnXo

            and do some karate in the garage. That will surely help! Or just stay on here!

            GL

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            I’m not a giant fan of theirs. I own two double album compilations of theirs on vinyl, one of their 62-66 output and another of their good output from 67-70. I also own Magical Mystery Tour on vinyl. That’s all the Beatles stuff I’ll ever need. No one needs to own everything they ever made.

          • KJM

            Rubber Soul, Revolver, White Album, Abbey Road; That’s what I got.

          • words of wisdom that should be on a frame in the wall for some people

        • Lacertilian

          Thanks Dubya, that is the best thing I have seen all day.

    • FeelTheDarkness
    • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

      I love a few Beatles songs, mostly from their later “psychedelic” phase, but rarely do I find myself saying: “Damn, I really want to hear some Beatles right now.”

    • Mr. Bojangles

      A strange thing, when we agree on something.

    • RidiculeTheProphetMuhammad

      I’m half way with you. I only like the drugged out Beatles albums and I have to be stoned myself.

    • Renan Ribeiro

      I like some songs but I don’t think they are the best thing that ever happened OMG how can you critize the beatles you motherfucker kind of person.

    • old_man_doom

      MANOWAR

    • Nor I. Nor The Rolling Stones.

    • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

      I did in the 1970’s as a kid. Now four decades later I’m sooo tired of hearing anything related to them and their music. I do have the complete works box set though so maybe I’m a hypocrite.

      O and I hate pop and everything about it, and always have BUT I respect the choice to dig it as many do on the TovH apparently. Hell I love Sabbath and we have more pop lovers here that Sabbath lovers…so be it!

    • Same, and people tend to forget Lennon was as hypocritical as it gets. Whacked the shit out of his wife and kids, and preached non-materialism while living in the ritziest area of NYC. And their music is vastly overrated, IMHO.

      • more beer

        Not to mention the Dakota takes up an entire city block. So many apartments could be made out that place.

    • more beer

      I never liked them either. I never saw what the big deal was about them.

  • JWG

    I do actually like this album for what it’s worth, but I’m bothered by one thing I keep seeing in reviews of this album: what everyone seems to want to identify as influence from modern “pop punk” seems to me to be pretty much just plagiarism of Weezer out-takes circa 20 years ago.

    Which, to be fair, isn’t plagiarism per se since Rivers Cuomo co-produced the album (or at least the most obviously Weezer-y parts). But still. No part of that “influence” is even remotely original, and it pains me every time I see a review that treats it as if it is.

    …though maybe it might as well be to the kids who weren’t around in the 90’s.

    • Guacamole Jim

      That’s a really good point. I just meant, when I speak of her originality, that she’s doing something different compared to the current pop music scene, not that she’s come up with anything new or groundbreaking.

      • JWG

        True. I understand the difference in your use of the term; whereas a lot of the other reviews just seem confused as to what exactly “originality” means.

        They want you to believe it’s like nothing you’ve ever heard, rather than something you’ve heard but in different contexts; and they can get away with it as long as they avoid naming all those influences directly.

        Even the most notable and ever-present one.

        • Guacamole Jim

          It could be a marketing scheme, or just ineptitude.

  • ” I DON’T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL, I JUST WANT TO BREAK THE RULES!”

    Wow, much angst, trendy. Wow

    GL

  • Tyree
  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    beatles have always kind of been a blessing/curse kind of deal

    introduced as “music” that was produced by weapons manufacturers(emi’s parent companies)–and also promoted as secret project by tavistock social engineers–

    they were first introduced–as an experiment –to introduce “divisive” elements into mass populations–were later heavily promoted–to draw public’s attention away from the jfk assassination coverup—of course –they were talented and well intentioned–which was actually kind of a problem –for their handlers

    many media psyops later—they were incorporated as part of a chemical war attack on u.s. youth–to “neutralize” anti vietnam war resistance with lsd—of course this also later backfired on their ill intentioned sponsors–as lennon successfully led resistance –and ended these type of wars for about 20 yrs

    its no mistake that as soon as bush sr got in power (architect of u.n. policies/engineer of jfk assassination)—that lennon was killed

    • DDubya.

      Huh. This one actually kinda makes sense.

    • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

      You’re close to the truth, but Bush Sr. was a mere puppet of the powers that be, certainly no mastermind. Woodrow Wilson established the UN policies, Reagan orchestrated JFK and Lennon. Research is important, but remember you can’t trust anything you read/see on the internet.

      • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

        yer pretty much right
        most of agenda 21 was written in 76–around the time of bush sr’s intense time working at the u.n.

        actually the u.n. could be a good thing—they just gotta get rid of agenda 21–and get those 911 fuckers—
        then switch out of whatever secret cult bullshit they got going on

  • Mr. Bojangles

    This isn’t where I parked my car.

    • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

      Dude, where IS your car?

      • Mr. Bojangles

        I don’t know, I think Joe sold it for condoms to hand out to ToH members

        • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

          Seems like a waste of perfectly good condoms. Bunch of ugly mofo’s up in here, ain’t nobody getting laid!!

          • Mr. Bojangles

            Speak for yourself, nipple.

          • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

            Just joking, Mr. Bojangles. We know you’re a sexy beast, with or without a car. At least I think so <3

          • Mr. Bojangles

            That’s exactly what your mom said.

          • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

            Mamma Nipple loves kitties!! You’re lucky, she usually only goes for black cats.

        • People use condoms here?!? I’ve only been using a clown nose for protection all this time.

  • JWG

    On a slightly different note, since I am easily amused,. I am amused by the fact that there are a whole bunch of Parental Advisory warnings on this album’s songs in iTunes (because of a curse word here and there, oh the horror), but there’s no such label on that one tune that’s overtly about masturbation in all its sticky endorphin-releasing glory.

    • Herr Schmitty

      Super weird, especially given the WASPy, anti-sex bent in our culture. Nice observation!

  • This is not awful considering that its pop music. I could potentially tolerate if I had to listen to it.

    • DDubya.

      This seems like high praise, my brother in grind.

      • And she looks like some girl I used to fool around with so there’s that.

    • it is a totes deuce, Mr. Deuce.

      GL

  • Renan Ribeiro

    Everybody needs to get down with
    MØ. Scandinavian pop is where it’s at.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALFu4D5NGbg

  • This is definitely not for me. The bass is headache inducing for me.

  • Further Down the Metal Hole

    Not clicking, because my tolerance for pop music is ridiculously low. I commend you for posting it though, it’s just like Randall wanting us all to POWER METAL OUR WAY TO THE AFTERLIFE!

    • Guacamole Jim

      I’m being compared to Randall? I need to rethink my life…

  • OldMetalHead

    Is Guac Jim the MetalGF of the Toilet?

  • Rizzle01

    I thoroughly enjoyed the album as well!

    • Guacamole Jim

      Hooray! A fellow lifelover.