Fuck It Friday

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It is 3 PM in the middle of the country. In two hours, this work week will be over and us 9-to-5’ers will be free for a brief respite from the relentless hell of this endless summer job that is adulthood.

Given this information, it should not be any massive surprise when I tell you that this particular post timeslot is our shittiest of the week. Most of you guys are doing stuff that is not reading Toilet ov Hell. Shame on you. Regardless, we’re somewhat-but-not-really-all-that proud to introduce a (possible, maybe?) new tradition: Fuck It Friday.

Here’s how it works: We’re gonna air a grievance (just one!) and follow it up with something positive. Is your boss a motherfucker? Let it out! Did you find a jam this week that is just way too killer? Share that sum bitch. This is an opportunity to get out the frustration and start the weekend on a positive note. GOT IT? Let’s begin.

Today I’d like to vent my white-hot ignorant rage at my microwave. Last night I was attempting to heat up a plate of tikka masala (because for some reason bachelor chow hasn’t been invented yet). About 10 seconds in to the process, smoke and sparks start shooting out of the back of the damned machine. I didn’t put metal in the chamber, just a plate and some soggy food. Is it safe to try to use the microwave again or will I burn my apartment down? If it’s broken do I need to buy a new one? Where the fuck do you recycle a broken radiation machine? I just want to reheat leftovers, DAMMIT AND FUCK IT.

ON A POSITIVE NOTE: After months of ignoring the Edward‘s suggestions, I finally gave in and listened to A Pregnant Light. APL released a new album this week that is pretty much everything I never realized I wanted to accomplish with creating music. The guitars on My Game Doesn’t Have a Name are beautifully melodic and drenched in perfect, 80s reverb while the vocals are the kind of hardcore bark I’ve been working at destroying my throat for years to recreate. This album is brilliant and I’m looking forward to listening to it over and over again for years to come.

This here is an Open Swim in the comments, but if you wanna play along just vent your rage (but be sure to follow it up with a good vibe)!

Did you dig this? Take a second to support Toilet ov Hell on Patreon!
  • VV. VVears Trailer Pant$

    I absolutely hate going shopping, especially around this time of year. This is W. driving to the grocery store on a typical Tuesday.

    http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f61/jonathan_nz/venomlol.gif

    On the other hand, I get to go to DC in January, so that’s pretty cool.

    • Edward

      Venom >>>>>>>>>

      too bad they trashed him for the 3rd Spider-Man movie.

      • Elite Träilerpäntsphile

        we don’t speak about that movie

        • Please someone post the emo-dancing Spiderman gif

          • Elite Träilerpäntsphile
          • whoa, Tyree changed his name and avatar!

          • Elite Träilerpäntsphile

            Nah, he merely adopted me as his pet.

          • Elite Träilerpäntsphile

            Nah, he merely adopted me as his pet.

          • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

            This movie is not so bad it’s good. Tjis movie is just disappointingly bad with a touch of disgusting on the side. Served with potential and one or two scenes that make the rest seem even bitter.

            This scene alone is pure sweet murder.

          • Elite Träilerpäntsphile

            What really bothers me more than anything else is how amazing the introduction and birth of sandman was. It was emotional without even needing dialogue, and it’s one of my favorite scenes in cinema. And then the movie just shits it all away.

          • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

            The aforementioned potential. Another was the sheer magnitude hidden in Venom, but was never vested in the movie. Also I didn’t like the good guy Sandman ending too much, even if another kind wouldn’t have worked with his spectacular beginning as well.

          • Elite Träilerpäntsphile

            True story: on my way back from seeing it in theaters, I saw a discarded spiderman suit lying on the side of the road. It makes sense looking back.
            Imagine someone who was so excited for Spiderman 3 that they up and bought a costume just to show how ready they were to be amazed. Then they walk into the movie, so foolishly optimistic. But as it goes on, something clicks in their mind.
            “This is terrible.”
            With bitter tears in their eyes, they run out of the theater. They look down at their spiderman costume.
            “WHY HAVE YOU BETRAYED ME?”
            They rip off the costume and walk away into the void, finally able to see the world as the cold place it truly is.

          • Xan

            i cri evrytim.

          • Elite Träilerpäntsphile

            *liek*

          • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

            Spiderfan – The Adam McGraw story
            Coming soon to theaters everywhere.

            (Surpasses the actual movie it’s about on every level)

          • He returned to the Void as he left the Void: ass naked.

          • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

            The aforementioned potential. Another was the sheer magnitude hidden in Venom, but was never vested in the movie. Also I didn’t like the good guy Sandman ending too much, even if another kind wouldn’t have worked with his spectacular beginning as well.

          • Elite Träilerpäntsphile

            What really bothers me more than anything else is how amazing the introduction and birth of sandman was. It was emotional without even needing dialogue, and it’s one of my favorite scenes in cinema. And then the movie just shits it all away.

          • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

            This movie is not so bad it’s good. Tjis movie is just disappointingly bad with a touch of disgusting on the side. Served with potential and one or two scenes that make the rest seem even bitter.

            This scene alone is pure sweet murder.

          • Tyree Wears Trailer Pants
          • Elite Träilerpäntsphile
          • Tyree Wears Trailer Pants

            Go Tobey! Go Tobey! Go Tobey!

          • Tyree Wears Trailer Pants
          • VV. VVears Trailer Pant$

            You know, I haven’t seen this movie since it was in theatres. I was so utterly disappointed that I blocked the whole thing from memory.

          • VV. VVears Trailer Pant$

            You know, I haven’t seen this movie since it was in theatres. I was so utterly disappointed that I blocked the whole thing from memory.

          • Kim Jong Un’s Big Beef Burrito

            Is that the guy from Pulp?

      • Topher Grace is so punchable. Even in his inoffensive side-role in Interstellar I wanted to shove him into a fifth-dimensional locker.

        • Edward

          TrailerLord DragonPants, how was Interstellar? Our boy from The Wire flushed it.

          • It’s no Space Odyssey (and Nolan is no Kubrick, no matter how much he believes he is), but I enjoyed most of it. And that’s saying something for a 3-hour movie. I’d say give it a shot.

          • Guacamole Jim

            Spot on. It was like an excellently done homage to Kubrick. And he did a(n inter)stellar job of releasing tension. When intense things would happen, they were SO INTENSE.

            Also, combine space+Christopher Nolan and I’m probably sold. I’m a sucker for sci-fi.

          • Guacamole Jim

            Watch it. Very worth the effort.

        • Lacertilian

          Topher, I want to punch his name ffs.

      • CT-12
    • Xan

      I had to go grocery shopping today too. On the positive side, now I’ve got some sweet cranberry mango juice.

    • Herr Schmitty

      I’m… strangely OK with shopping! I have it easy though; there’s a grocery store a minute away from my office, and I can usually get any mandatory shopping done during my lunch break.

      • Howard Dean

        Do you shop at the Trader Joes or the Whole Foods in Portland (or neither)? That Whole Foods in Portland is amazing. We don’t have one anywhere near where I live, so I was dumbfounded. I ate lunch there once, just grabbing a little here and there from the row upon row of a la carte foods they offer. It was amazing, although it cost me like $46.00 for lunch. Haha. That place has awesome shit, but my fuck do you pay for it.

        • Bucket ‘o Blood

          Whole foods has some of the best cucumber around, short of buyimg straight from the farmers. We’ve got ample TJs, Sprouts, and Whole Foods here in the silicon valley and WF’s quality makes up for the shitty pricing.
          I shop at Target because I can’t afford any of the above.

        • Herr Schmitty

          My GF is a full-fledged Trader Joe’s devotee; we actually never shop at Whole Foods for any reason OTHER than eating lunch there (and you’re right, those buffet-style a la carte selections are extremely choice. From wings to vegan, it runs the whole gamut). Trader Joe’s is intensely great though, especially the frozen foods section- so many easily prepared meals for the lifeloving office worker who doesn’t want to spend an hour making dinner!

          Because I’m a whore, I will hit up the Hannaford on Forrest Ave, which has a great international foods section… and will steam a pound+ lobster for you on site for $6. Can’t beat it!

          • more beer

            My chica also has the trader joe’s addiction especially the cheap wine.

        • Kim Jong Un’s Big Beef Burrito

          Oddly enough, Whole Foods is trying to build a store in Englewood, Chicago’s poorest and most violent area. That can only end in disaster. People in that area sure as fuck won’t be able to afford it, and the people who can won’t go anywhere near that area.

          http://up-ship.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Guiness-Brilliant.jpg

    • Kim Jong Un’s Big Beef Burrito

      I’ll send my personal escort over for you:

      http://blogs.dallasobserver.com/mixmaster/wienermobile%201969560.jpg

  • Edward

    There is almost nothing I like more than seeing my name bandied about on here.

    I’m going to work my second job, hopefully do some writing for the site (see my next point), go on a date tonight and tomorrow (two different chicks, hey!), and embrace absolute darkness and incorruptible nothingness, i.e. The Void.

    • TWO DATES??? ooooOOOOOOOOooooOOOOOHHH!

      • Edward

        The “great” second date from Wednesday cut it off, so I have to stay on my grind.

        • You should ask Tyree for tips to stay grind

          • Edward

            I should ask Tyree for tips to stay void.

          • Elite Träilerpäntsphile

            You should ask Tyree for tips to stay beer.

          • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

            Whatever it is, you should just ask Tyree

          • Edward

            Stay weird death forever.

          • This whole section of comments is fucking beautiful.

            But alas, I must embrace the void and flush you all down the dirtiest, filthiest turd chute ov hell.

          • Edward

            Flush all these posers into the toilet ov obskurity.

          • new tv show “Ask Tyree”

          • more beer

            Give him a bunch of high abv beer and set him loose on all the cvnting life lovers!

          • Tyree Wears Trailer Pants
          • Tyree Wears Trailer Pants
          • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

            At the risk of being thought of as an ignorant asshole, what the fuck is this from and who is the actor involved.

          • Mr.CustodialArts

            Brother Conan, this is from the John Carpenter classic “BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA.” The actor is Carter Wong, playing the character known as “THUNDER”…TYREE POSTS JOHN CARPENTER SHIT AND GETS UPVOTES FROM ME EVERY FUCKING TIME.

          • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

            I should have known, have only seen that once, twice at most. What do you think of escape from LA ? I am not terribly fond if it, even though i feel i should like it more than i do.

          • Mr.CustodialArts

            “WELCOME TO THE HUMAN RACE.” I think it is awesomely shitty-that tidal wave surfing scene? YES. I <3 Kurt Russell.

          • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

            I think death proof was criminally under rated. \\\ A car as a serial killers weapon ? genius. Plus loads of chicks. My favorites were the blonde from the first part of the movie and mary elizabeth winstead from the second part ( in the cheerleader outfit ) wow ! She is the only reason the thing remake was watchable. It would have been cool in the thing remake if they had found kurt in a block of ice and he would have taken care of business for a second time ! Plus had an affair with her. But i think the remake was suppose to be a prequal ? I don’t know.

          • Lacertilian

            I love Death Proof.

            All my friends prefer Planet Terror but there is something about Deathproof that I cannot put my finger on but I am compelled to towards it.

            What’s the deal with all the feet in QT related movies?

            Foot-fetish or coincidence?

            Also, I fucking love this song so much it has made it onto my preciously declining phone space.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxA69qsGSWo

          • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

            must be foot fetish. I have no complaints about it myself. I hated the ending when they beat stuntman mike to death. That sucks, i know QT was trying to turn the genre on its head, but i wanted him to drive off into the distance instead of being humiliated or have his car explode in one final fireball of glory. I had the soundtrack on vinyl but ended up selling it.

        • CT-12

          Take up a date with Rosie Palms! She’s a nice girl, and real handy too 😉

          • Edward

            I don’t miss many opportunities. Lol.

      • Tyree Wears Trailer Pants
    • When you go on a date, you put on a shirt, and you drive your bike to the DAAAATE!

  • Tyree Wears Trailer Pants

    The Airing of Grievances.

    • VV. VVears Trailer Pant$

      Tyree, soon we’ll get to erect the ToH Festivus pole.

      • Tyree Wears Trailer Pants

        Indeed, It’s made from aluminum. Very high strength-to-weight ratio.

        • But it is expensive. We will likely want to use a low carbon steel, much less dolla dolla bills, yo. I can go on and on about material properties if you so desire.

          GL

    • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

      ……….

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    Nothing is never and never is forever.

  • Elite Träilerpäntsphile

    As the semester draws to a close I am more dependent on a healthy diet of nyquil and adderall, but on the bright side I’ve started staying GRIND.

    • KJM

      Nyquil? Trade that in for some Codeine syrup!

      • Elite Träilerpäntsphile

        My dad bought me the nyquil (because he also has insomnia) and in the grand old tradition of college students, I am too broke for anything else.

      • Howard Dean

        Mahfuckahs need to be getting it going on that lean. Nothing like that purple drank to get the feeling, son.

        • Herr Schmitty

          Woah woah, metalheads aware of club/urban culture-preferred drugs?!?! I like it!

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtukiO35Ou8

          • Edward

            One more thing I didn’t get a chance to try, lol. Actually there is not much.

          • Kim Jong Un’s Big Beef Burrito

            I’ll stick with krokodil, thanks!

        • KJM

          Sizzurp!! BYYAHHH!!!

      • more beer

        Sizzurp!

    • let’s shuffle that adderall part to the bright side!

      • Elite Träilerpäntsphile

        I would, but it’s the reason i need the nyquil. Also it makes me unable to eat.

        • Have you tried wet food? That may help

          GL

          • Elite Träilerpäntsphile

            The best thing is usually catnip and Mastodon.

        • Have you tried wet food? That may help

          GL

      • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

        …….

        • Pantliacci is Tr/iler

          TCICtMFK!

          • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

            Hails to you brother.

        • Edward

          CONAN.

        • CT-12
          • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

            I put this meme in the top 10 of all time. It always gets a laugh and is suitable for almost every occasion. Kind of like a tie or pair of slacks that goes with everything in ones wardrobe.

        • Xan

          m/

          • Kim Jong Un’s Big Beef Burrito

            Welcome to Detroit!

        • more beer

          You return!

          • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

            I didn’t know you even went over to the toilet.

          • more beer

            Since it started!

          • more beer

            I will be bouncing around tonight at the hospital one of my metal brothers is getting a liver transplant in the morning so i’m keeping him company.

        • the fuckin’ Getting Laid at Bandcamp this week was spec-fvck-tacular! recommended reading.

          • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

            will crawl through the sewer pipes and check it out.

        • HAIL TO THE KING!
          -M SHADOWS

      • Lacertilian

        That riterol is having a very interesting effect on the way you think.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glFw0gFPajk

    • Edward
      • Elite Träilerpäntsphile

        str8 thuggin, yo

        • Edward

          I’m 23 now but will I live to see 24? The way things are going, I dunno.

          • I said that when i was 18 and i’m still here 10 years later.

          • Edward

            I’m a lot younger than Coolio but a little older than you, our grim visaged pirate.

          • Well I feel ancient like the seas.

          • Renan Ribeiro

            Coolio is a young man at heart, as evidenced in “Take it to the Hub”.

            Better yet, he’s me circa 2004 with a vastly improved flow.

          • no you’re not 23. (are you really?)
            edit: fvck, it’s in the lyrics.

          • Edward

            Ha, no JJM. That’s one Coolio’s lines in that song.

    • Count_Breznak

      Dunno, I just used beer. Use. Make that use.

      • Elite Träilerpäntsphile

        Totally would but I’m 18 and don’t have any friends that drink.

        • CT-12

          Stay void and drink to yourself in a basement while watching white fuzz on a tv

        • Count_Breznak

          Right, there are countries where you aren’t legally allowed to drink beer from 16 up, i forgot.

          • Elite Träilerpäntsphile

            yep 🙁

    • CT-12

      Wow, that’s like the Olympic games for your heart

      • Elite Träilerpäntsphile

        I’m 18 so I can basically ingest anything and recover. I dread the day when I can’t have a McGangbang every day.

    • Renan Ribeiro
      • Edward

        This is one of my favorite Danny Brown tracks.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30pYD2fpkRU

        • Renan Ribeiro

          Me too. I ocasionally rap all the lyrics while driving to work pretending I’m actually headed to a drug fueled orgy.

        • I used to really like Danny Brown but Old was 85% garbage.

          • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

            I know a danny joe brown , an ex singer for molly hatchet.

          • Edward

            I didn’t like it as much as XXX that is certain. I listened to it a couple times and found it to be somewhat forgettable.

          • The only truly dope track, in my opinion (because i can remember black girls wanting to braid my hair):
            http://youtu.be/d0s0XHVUGF0

  • Microwaves can vibrate water harder than the sunn o)))

    #factsovmetal

  • It’s cold I’m swamped with bullshit, but this exists, and that makes everything okay.

    http://m.youtube.com/user/flushboyaz

    • Xan

      We need to sponsor this man.

    • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

      ………………..

    • Herr Schmitty

      Snow pictures or no complaints! That’s my hard and fast rule now. I will be posting the results of Maine blizzards to shame anyone who whines about the cold, starting when we get our first ‘real’ blizzard.

  • Guacamole Jim

    I’m playing music tonight at the most unorganized bullshit of a gig ever. No communication has happened, no decent schedules, no information besides a location and a time.

    But on the positive side, I’m playing music tonight!

    Back on the negative side, it’s singer/songwriter acoustic bullshit.

    To the positive: I’m playing guitar and singing!!

    Ending on a negative: I’m playing guitar and singing. . .

    • Edward

      There is some tight “singer/songwriter acoustic bullshit” aka Songs: Ohia. Shit is pretty dark too!

      • Guacamole Jim

        When I say I’m playing “singer/songwriter acoustic bullshit” I mean that it’s a genre distinct from “singer/songwriter acoustic” which I happen to quite like. I will check that out too!

  • DeadButtDreaming

    I had a piece of molten slag fall inside my coveralls at work this morning and it left a 5-inch burn on my beer gut.

    Positive: another welder had a piece of slag get inside his coveralls last week and it burned his testicle sack. He is now known as Slag Bag.

    Also, I am blasting Oozing Wound (pun intended) on the drive home.

    • OUCH.

    • Guacamole Jim

      SLAG BAG

      LOST IT/10

      • DeadButtDreaming

        I know. Our foreman even had stickers made up for his hardhat.

      • DeadButtDreaming

        I know. Our foreman even had stickers made up for his hardhat.

        • R-E-S-P-E-C-T FIND OUT WHY MY BALLS BLEED

          GL

        • SheWölf

          Can we haz stickers?? 🙂

          • SheWölf

            Seriously, that is some funny shit…

        • CT-12

          That’d dedication right thur haha

    • Guest

      Well I hope he already had kids

    • Guest

      Well I hope he already had kids

    • Herr Schmitty

      JUST MORE PROOF THAT WELDING BLOWS, MAN

  • i live in beautiful St. Louis, Missouri. and in an unknown amount of time (hours? days? weeks?), there will be a very significant announcement made. shit’s going to hit the fan here. i don’t even know what to expect. people in the neighborhood are taking comfort in owning a gun. how bad is this going to get??? i don’t own a gun, nor will i ever. will i need to fear for my safety? FVCK!

    ON A POSITIVE NOTE: After months of ignoring the @disqus_4E0xQtrX2p:disqus ‘s suggestions, I finally gave in and watched Trve Detective. Great job!

    • Negative: you do not own a gun. Positive: if you want to borrow one of my many, you are welcome too.

      GL

    • Negative: you do not own a gun. Positive: if you want to borrow one of my many, you are welcome too.

      GL

    • Edward

      Trailerpants McNulty, YES DUDE. YES.

    • Edward

      Trailerpants McNulty, YES DUDE. YES.

    • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

      Is Trve Detective a netflix series? Haven’t much payed attention to it but I’m starting to itch now that everyone is seeing it.

    • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

      Is Trve Detective a netflix series? Haven’t much payed attention to it but I’m starting to itch now that everyone is seeing it.

      • KJM

        Not yet, HBO only right now.

        • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

          Good.

      • Edward

        HBO.

        • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

          Oh yes! So I too can see it.

      • if you need to watch the show and don’t have access; give me your e-mail address and i’ll hook you up

        • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

          Should have “access”, but I may hold you to that.

        • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

          Should have “access”, but I may hold you to that.

      • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

        …………

    • Tyree Wears Trailer Pants
      • Edward
        • Tyree Wears Trailer Pants

          How many times have you watched Trve Detective Ed? The whole season that is.

          • Edward

            Three.

            Not to mention I still occasionally watch scenes on Youtube.

          • Tyree Wears Trailer Pants

            Damn, I got to catch up to you NERD.

          • Edward

            I would watch it again with someone given the opportunity.

            http://i.minus.com/itRtKmRmhuQrn.gif

          • Tyree Wears Trailer Pants

            Hahaha! Priceless this scene is.

          • Edward

            Say it again, rummy.

          • well i hear you’ve been quite the ladies man lately. “wanna come over for eight hours?”

          • Edward

            Combining two of my interests into one evening, PERFECT.

          • Pantliacci is Tr/iler

            You wanna cuddle on the couch with me and watch it again? I’ll wear my trailer pants.

          • Edward

            How quickly can you make it to the Twin Cities?

          • Pantliacci is Tr/iler

            16.5 hours.

          • KJM

            Just twice, although I have watched many key scenes several times.

          • Edward

            I loved it the third time through, the third time! I even picked up new things.

      • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

        My 3 favorite actors :

        christian bale ( out of the furnace opposite harrelson is mind shatteringly good)

        McConahey (still can’t spell his name)

        Harrelson – been playing assholes since natural born killers

        • CT-12

          Christian Bale’s a straight tank, unbelievable in American Psycho and The Machinist

        • Edward

          Out Of The Furnace was bomb, huh? I kinda wanted to see it.

          In case you missed this week Conan, I have been ranting and raving about Nightcrawler. If you ever go to the movies, go see that shit.

    • Herr Schmitty

      Yes, where you live is fixing to get crazy. Fuck Stain isn’t going to be indicted, and shit is likely to legitimately hit the fan.

      Seems like a good idea to plan a vacation. Care to come skiing for a weekend?

    • Virgil the Ghost Poet

      I am thinking of you buddy. Wondering how scary it is for you down there? Are you in a safe zone are will the whole city burn? Good luck.

      • ey mate! good to see you, on these rare occasions…

        it’s not scary… yet. but it will be. i live in Benton Park, which is located IN st. louis city. it’s a great neighborhood (tons of diversity: age, ethnicity, income, religion, etc.) but if i travel a few blocks in any direction, i wouldn’t feel safe. there have been protests between my ‘hood and place of employment. so i have NO clue, might be nothing, might have a molotov cocktail thrown through me winders.

        what’s your e-mail address? type it in real quick and delete it… Disqus will let me know what it is.

    • more beer

      Molotov cocktails are your friend when the shit hits the fan!

      • may you enjoy your stay in the toilet, kind sir! we welcome everybody.

        • more beer

          I’ve been coming here since the begining. I just don’t always have time to post during the day. I have a business that keeps me very busy.

    • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

      That is one of the most cryptic statements i have ever heard outside of the purge.

  • i live in beautiful St. Louis, Missouri. and in an unknown amount of time (hours? days? weeks?), there will be a very significant announcement made. shit’s going to hit the fan here. i don’t even know what to expect. people in the neighborhood are taking comfort in owning a gun. how bad is this going to get??? i don’t own a gun, nor will i ever. will i need to fear for my safety? FVCK!

    ON A POSITIVE NOTE: After months of ignoring the @disqus_4E0xQtrX2p:disqus ‘s suggestions, I finally gave in and watched Trve Detective. Great job!

  • I’ve realized that taking a freelance job for your boss’s wife isn’t the greatest of ideas, so now I have to somehow find time between my other shit to get this work finished.

    On a positive note, I picked up Revocation’s Deathless (finally, I know I’m late to the party) and this motherfucker rips.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdMvNiyq8Hs

  • I’ve realized that taking a freelance job for your boss’s wife isn’t the greatest of ideas, so now I have to somehow find time between my other shit to get this work finished.

    On a positive note, I picked up Revocation’s Deathless (finally, I know I’m late to the party) and this motherfucker rips.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdMvNiyq8Hs

    • great album indeed! way better than self-titled. that instrumental track is their best yet too!

    • Yeah, Annie, this whole album fucking rips and tears.

    • Herr Schmitty

      My favorite track from the whole thing.

      NO ONE MUST KNOW MY SECRET
      I’LL TAKE A LIFE TO KEEP IT

      • Lacertilian

        staring into the maw of the VOID, where infernal incisors endlessly gnash.

      • Edward

        I haven’t heard the track/album but that it ill.

    • CT-12

      What would you rate it? I’m very curious about this album because the S/T really lost me

      • My first taste of them was the S/T that everyone was raving about, but I didn’t find it that great. This is a big step above that, IMO.

        • CT-12

          I don’t how far you’ve gone with them since, but I highly recommend “Chaos of Forms”, great fucking album

          • I haven’t checked out anything besides the S/T and Deathless, so I’ll check that out for sure. Thanks!

          • Lacertilian

            Go back through them all.
            Existence Is Futile has some beastly tracks.
            Many different styles of metal mixed throughout.

          • Lacertilian

            Did you do it?
            Did you do it yet?
            How about now?
            Sorry I was excited.

            I love the part in Existence Is Futile here from 1:30-2:04:
            http://youtu.be/mEjRywf5AwY?t=1m30s

            ‘Hallucinogenic realm of deafening cacophony.
            Writhing, shapeless, fearsome, fell: a permanent apocalypse.
            Beyond endless wastes, infinite vacant spaces must be crossed.
            To enter into territory of eternal holocaust.

            Unable to comprehend the nothingness,
            As I rise into the unspeakable void.
            Absorbed, digested by the chaos realm’

    • Lacertilian

      Madness Opus, United In Helotry & Labyrinth Of Eyes are my top 3.

  • old_man_doom

    My dog had to be put down this week. He was old (13yrs) and had cancer. So, I guess I’ll take solace in the fact that he’s no longer in pain. HOWEVER, I am one step closer to potentially getting the teaching position that I’ve been eyeing for quite awhile, so I’m excited for that.

    I’ll leave this tasty jam here in memory of the smartest, dumb dog I’ve ever known:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gm9P1QsoGhw&spfreload=10

    • DeadButtDreaming

      Smart dumb dogs are the best.

    • SheWölf

      I will be pouring one out for your smart dumb dog tonight. I have one if those too, and he rules…

    • Xan

      I lost one of my dogs in January to lymphoma. I know how you feel. I hope you get the teaching position.

    • this is always sad, my condolences

    • CT-12

      Lost a dog this year too man, it sucks, I feel ya. I know folks like to act like they don’t like Zeppelin, but this song rules and is one of best tributes to a dog I’ve ever heard https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXVlcIiCOuo

      • Lacertilian

        do you have more on the story of how Bron is about a dog?
        I always thought it was a place they stayed at.

    • …Ellipsis…

      Condolences and good luck.

    • Virgil the Ghost Poet

      Good luck with the job!

  • Xan

    I have a pretty obnoxious ingrown toenail right now. On the positive side, I listened to Twilight Force yesterday. That was one of the best power metal albums I’ve heard in a long damn time.

    • Herr Schmitty

      Ingrown toenails suck ass, I feel that. Ever since I was 12, I’ve been prying chunks of nail out of my toe with tweezers and clippers, often accompanied by blood and occasionally followed by infection. Love it!

      BUT IT FEELS SO GOOD WHEN THEY’RE REMOVED

      • Xan

        I got them a lot when I was in elementary school. It isn’t as common for me now, but I still get them when I have to wear shoes for extended periods of time. I wish it was acceptable to walk barefoot everywhere.

  • Xan

    I have a pretty obnoxious ingrown toenail right now. On the positive side, I listened to Twilight Force yesterday. That was one of the best power metal albums I’ve heard in a long damn time.

  • Negative: given the political talk this week, I am not looking forward to this lady being plastered all over everything the next 2 years… http://cdn.frontpagemag.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/hillary-clinton-movie.jpg

    Positive: Bill might blow it for her. http://thebigslice.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Clinton-Arsenio.jpg

    GL

    • I’m not sure I can stand another 4 to 8 years of it.

    • more beer

      Bill’s just gonna get blown.

  • Negative: given the political talk this week, I am not looking forward to this lady being plastered all over everything the next 2 years… http://cdn.frontpagemag.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/hillary-clinton-movie.jpg

    Positive: Bill might blow it for her. http://thebigslice.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Clinton-Arsenio.jpg

    GL

  • Negative: I’m enjoying that wonderful period in-between graduating college and finding a legitimate job in the field of my choosing.

    Positive: This wonderful compilation of Dying Fetus Breakdowns http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gN_pakR0FE8

    • Been there, man. I was unemployed for 6 months out of college, struggling to find any kind of job at all. I eventually just took a retail job while I kept looking. Don’t give up!

    • Keegan Lavern Still

      I’ll be at that point before long. Probably. At this point I can hardly get motivated to finish my undergraduate degree, what with my advisor being impossible to get a hold of and my remaining courses being the soul-fucking exercises in shit I have no intention of doing in my kind-of-maybe-hopefully future career that they are.

  • Tyree Wears Trailer Pants
  • Plenty to complain about: you should see the rig, transmissions about to fall out of it; it is terrible working outside in the winter; the dog and the cat just wont get along AND ONE OF THEM PISSED ON THE FUCKING FLOOR IN THE OFFICE.

    As a boring nerd, the old lady and I will probably be each doing something stupid, and i think chicken pot pie for dinner, vodka and sprites. maybe i’ll fry chicken livers, too.

    blast off to this:
    http://youtu.be/7XgDiCsSXVo

    • CT-12

      Anybody can say whatever they want about Blake Judd, but this album killed.

      • lulz, and people think Old Gloomy Gus are a bunch of tricksters.

        • CT-12

          ??

  • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

    …………first class ass

  • Keegan Lavern Still

    For the past several days, I’ve really been missing my cats that I have at my dad’s house. One of them is fairly aloof but loves to be pet when she’s perched on top of the fridge (don’t ask me why). The other one is the snuggliest, most affectionate sweetheart of a cat you’d ever meet. The problem is, one of the supervisors at my work, a stunningly drop dead woman, has the same as my snuggly cat. Queue the conversation we had the other day:

    Supervisor: Hey, thanks again for taking that overnight shift for me last weekend.

    Me: Not a problem, sweetie.

    Supervisor: Excuse me?

    Me: DAMMIT!

    On a positive note, I got a nice paycheck from the two overnight shifts I worked this weekend, with one of them getting my time and 1/2. The time

    • MOAR! This could be a dope erotica tale.

      • Keegan Lavern Still

        It’d actually be pretty dull. My love is as earnest and honest as it is awkward and clumsy; the entertaining or “sexy” parts would be at my expense. Not that I’d have it any other way, but still.

  • Death

    I’ve been vomiting and shitting for the past two days. Nothing positive, everything sucks.

    • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

      Life sucks, then you die. Of diarhea

      • Death

        I’m probably going to vomit myself to death.

        • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

          It’s a properly grim way to.

          • Death

            I’d rather get killed by cute puppies.

          • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

            I never said pleasant…

          • Death

            I’d love to be mauled to death by corgi puppies.

          • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

            Each to his own, I’ve never cared for anything labeled bestiality me’self

          • Death

            That’s not bestiality, dude.

          • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

            Getting ‘mauled’ by corgies? Are you sure?

          • Death

            Do you know what “mauled” means?

          • Death

            Maul – verb
            : to attack and injure (someone) in a way that cuts or tears skin : to attack (someone) and cause a bloody injury

            : to touch or handle (someone) in a rough sexual way

          • Death

            I meant the first definition, not the second one.

          • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

            I know what it means.

          • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

            And there ye have it. Ye say it ye’self

          • Death

            As I said, I meant the first definition, you fucktard.

          • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

            As I said each to his own. It’s not my place to judge.
            Have a pleasant night, mate.

          • Death

            This is why I hate you!

          • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

            You hate me ’cause you know no other way. And that’s why I love you, mate.

          • Death

            I’m not your mate, guy. Crawl up your own anus and die there.

          • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

            See ya round, mate.

          • Howard Dean

            Wait… are you guys getting a divorce?!

          • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

            Sometimes air has to be cleaned. It ain’t pretty but it has to be done. Without it it’s impossible to continue.

        • more beer

          Couldn’t you give yourself a better way to go out your death after all.

    • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

      couldn’t resist you ornery old codger. Giving me a hard time on FFB. Well, i never !

    • CT-12

      Shitty man, sorry to hear

  • Paris Hilton

    The only T.G.I.F. I like hearing is the one by Katy Perry

    • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

      That suffocation show was a blast, less than 200 people there but 6 hours of death metal. I drank the whole time, 9 rye and coke and a couple of pitchers. I even talked to hobbs from suffo and he asked if i knew where he could score some coke. For $15, its the best value i have ever got for a show.

      • more beer

        Alcohol and metal winning combination!

        • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

          Yea, and hot waitresses which i was tipping in the hopes of getting something out of it ! Seriously though, it was a hell of a lineup. It went by fast too, i didn’t realize i had been drinking the whole time until i saw my wallet was empty at the end of the night.

          • more beer

            That happens to me every show. The last time i saw Suffication was with the mighty Immolation and it was guest listed. Hot waitresses rule!

      • Paris Hilton

        The best place to score coke is Walmart. You can buy a 12 pack for 7.99 #Pepsisucks

        • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

          seriously though, suffocation heard live while drunk out of ones skull is a life changing experience.

  • George Clarke

    yeah

  • Herr Schmitty

    I spent two hours of my (work) day walking around outside looking for my senile grandfather’s police-trained German Shepherd. Because he started the business, he occasionally calls my uncles and myself and forces us to help his crazy ass. Today it was finding his dog. It was cold, it snowed, and I got some ice in my shoes. Found the dog though!

    On the upside, one of my old buddies from FL might be moving north to within an hour of where I live, so that’ll be sick. It’s the weekend, I have plentiful quantities of marijuana, and I’ll be attending a tea (yeah, fuckers, tea- I love tea!) tasting tomorrow morning, and I’m looking forward to all elements of this sentence.

  • CT-12

    For a useless bitching, I’ll throw in the pot that I’ve been fucking going crazy at work. All I’ve been doing is woodchipping all fucking week out in the freezing ass cold, so yeah, not too stoked, and I’ve got to work tomorrow. Anyhow, I’ve at least been jamming on a killer new album I got that I’m in the process of writing a review of for the toilet (as well as a bunch of other things) so yeah, it’s been keeping me sane the last few days.

    • Lacertilian

      The only thing worse than solid woodchipping is solid woodchipping on a hill when it’s +40C

      • CT-12

        Wow dude, that’s shitty. I work at a golf course so my boss waits til it’s raining or the winter to start chipping, I’d have to imagine doing it when it’s dry has to destroy your eyes.

        • Lacertilian

          That’d be the smart way to do it!
          Breathing the dust is my least favourite part. If I’m coughing, I want it to be because I just vaped a tasty nug.
          And the noise, the fucking relentless noise!!

  • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

    …………

    • Mr.CustodialArts

      Dude…the boys were rocking some GREAT hair in the DEHUMANIZER days! That album is a FUCKING BEAST, and dropped 9 months AFTER NIRVANA’s “NEVERMIND”, ha!

  • Gurp

    Snow has started to fall here in Cleveland, which means once again I’m going to war with Seasonal Affective Disorder. On the other hand, its black metal season, I can drink, and Dragon Age Inquisition comes out soon, and I am soooooooo HARD FOR THAT SHIT A;LSKJD;FILAJSIODJFL;AKJ;O;BM,MCXS;O

    • Howard Dean

      Peeps in my family get seasonally affected like a motherfucker. I strongly dislike winter, but I’m nearly as destroyed by it on a mental level as they are. We’ve already had a month or so of pretty shit weather (cold) and a little snow already, so we’re right in the thick of it. Hang in there. We’ll see you at the other end of the tunnel!

      Also: The only things I know about Cleveland come from watching the TV show “The First 48.” There appear to be a lot of heinous murders and violence in Cleveland.

      • Gurp

        DON’T LET GO, HOWARD! WE’RE HERE FOR YOU!
        Well, there’s the historic Torso Murders, thats certainly pretty cool. And some bad shit actually has gone down uncomfortably close to my house in the past few months. Owner of a bar down the street got robbed one night by one of his own employees, who shot and killed him. Couple months later, a restaurant also down the street got firebombed by a disgruntled ex-employee. Fun town.

  • Renan Ribeiro

    I’ve never listened to APL before. You know those moments when 20s into a song you’re already down with it? I knew I was bound to like it.

  • Kim Jong Un’s Big Beef Burrito

    My week went great, listening to Entrails right now. It was like…………

    http://cdn.madamenoire.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Farrah.gif

  • Kim Jong Un’s Big Beef Burrito

    Might as well get this one out of my system, and had it on repeat earlier. Still not figuring out the whole thing, but it’ll make me look smart around other people.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5M7MZh_bvjg

    • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

      KRS-ONE – the mans nose is as big as his talent.

      He is REALLY fucking talented.

      • KJM

        Yep, seen him 3 times so far.

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    fuck slavery!!—

    america is the only hope

    both at once–full vol

    http://youtu.be/Qa5RGa_hAJw

    http://youtu.be/ahvSgFHzJIc

  • Guppusmaximus

    A little late to the discussion, BUT,The new Soen is finally here.

    …Fucking Amazing!

  • Mr. Bojangles Team FapALot

    I’ve been w8ing for this day to come, the day when someone would take over flush friday or create a similar tradition. Good thing I have a gas can, matches and a black dildo ready.