Flush It Friday with Mr. Bauer

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Ah yes Friday. It doesn’t have the same meaning it used to for me since I work weekends. However, what it does mean is that it’s the weekend and I get to listen to my music at work for 8 hours. Lol did I call it work? It really isn’t, not on weekends anyway. I guess the important thing is that I’m making money that I can later use to pay my bills splurge on Bandcamp. As I write this, LeBron James and the Cavs are falling apart and I’m watching. This is completely irrelevant information, but I don’t care because suck it LeBron! Really I have great respect for the guy as a player, but I hate his image and the way the media covers everything, even what type of milk he uses on his cereal in the morning. He probably doesn’t even Archspire. What a Bum. Let’s do this:

Good: I’ve gone on a few dates with this girl I met online through our mutual love of metal and tinder. She is pretty fuckin cool and I enjoy hanging out with her. It’s still early of course, but we have a lot in common and things are looking good!

Bad: FOX makes a lot of bad decisions. I think we can all agree on this. However THEY DONE FUCKED UP THIS TIME. They are developing episodes of 24 without Jack Bauer. YOU CAN’T HAVE 24 WITHOUT ME YOU MORONS! I AM 24. ANGRY FACE. If you know the CEO of FOX, let me know; I want to show him one of the new features of the interrogation room…

Ugly: My cat is doing this thing lately where he just like, drops poop pellets. I’m not really sure how to describe it, he just walks around like normal and nonchalantly leaves “gifts” around the house. When I come home from work at night I feel like I’m walking through a fecal minefield!

Speaking of cats, this meme lol.  HAHA CAVS LOST! I’ll leave you with my soundtrack to the last few weeks.

It’s an open swim, try not to drown, ‘cuz I sure as hell won’t save you!

 

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  • CyberneticOrganism
  • ChuggaChuggaDeedleyDoo

    Good: The Agalloch show on Wednesday

    Bad: I’m still hungover at work and it’s 1 p.m. Christopher Lee died this week

    Ugly: The naked mole-rat is pretty ugly, imo

    • Ugly but resistant to cancer. So it has that going for it. Which is nice.

    • Stanley

      But is it as ugly as the star nosed mole?

    • CyberneticOrganism

      GAAAHH!

    • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

      If you shaved a lot of mammals, you’d be horrified. If this little one had fur, you’d all think mole rats were cute.

      • Stanley

        If my brother was a girl, he’d be my sister.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          If my Aunt had wheels she’d be a wheelbarrow.

          • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

            If you Aunt had balls, she’d be your uncle.

          • Howard Dean

            If your Aunt were your mother, I would be your father.

            (EDIT: I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean, to be honest)

          • Guacamole Jim

            If a mime shits in the woods, does anyone smell it?

          • Howard Dean

            previews.123rf.com/images/zinkevych/zinkevych1409/zinkevych140900376/31738444-Waist-up-portrait-of-funny-mime-couple-male-mime-holding-his-hands-on-the-chest-female-mime-touching-Stock-Photo.jpg

          • Guacamole Jim
          • RiotAct666?

          • Howard Dean
          • Stanley

            Ooh, I could punch a mime right now.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Everybody is somebody’s mother.

          • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS
          • Sir Tapir the Based™

            If my aunt had a machine gun,missiles and rotor, she would be an apache attack helicopter.

          • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

            If your aunt was dead, she’d be a corpse. And dead. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnJiv7S7J6M

          • I would have been your daddy, but a dog beat me over the fence.

          • KJM

            If we had some ham
            we could make ham & eggs
            if we had any eggs

          • KJM

            “Aye, and if my grandmother had wheels she’d be a wagon…”

      • J.R.

        LIke this Roided out chimp and this Demonic Hairless ov the void Bear?

        Shaved animals look 2spooky, pal

  • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

    GOOD: TBD, boring week for me.

    BAD: My package from USPS still ain’t here. I keep procrastinating when I should be writing the loose plot lines for my comic/cartoon idea. Also; one of the annoying girl friends of my friend likes me. I’m amazed, confused, and angered by this. Like how the fuck? Why? I don’t talk to her, I’m average looking, and I’m human garbage, but not the kind of bro-culture human garbage girls typically go for.

    UGLY: I now walk among you. You know what I mean.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      ‘Tis Mother Shabubu III who walks behind the rows.

  • Best of luck with lady Jack. Time will tell if she’s a keeper. FOX only cares about money so they’ll do everything they can to give you an outsourced Jack Bauer on the cheap.

  • Howard Dean

    Good: Disgustingly raw and bestial… Emperor? Yes indeed, motherflushers. Before the synths and glam, they were pretty fucking brutal.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbpMApTlrVc&list=PL7AC8DB6E7B776043&index=5

    Bad and Ugly:
    http://www.roberrera.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/hillary.jpg

    • Void Dweller

      I concur. This is a little synth heavy, but old Emperor is so damn good.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wn2ZmcPgxGg

      • Howard Dean

        I actually really dig Emperor up to Anthems… even though they were well on their way to full blown cheese at that point. I’ve just always been enamored with their early stuff–particularly the Wrath of the Tyrant demo and Emperor EP. It’s just so different from their stuff on the albums.

        • Void Dweller

          I feel the same way. The overall mood is darker, evil, etc.

    • Dagon

      Your bad and ugly is very on point.

    • This happens to be the only Emperor song I have in my digital queue.

  • GOOD: After having house after house ripped out from under us, Lady AKSB and I finally found a rental house, and it happens to be just down the street from my (awesome and fun) boss, my grandpa, and my aunt! Stoked to move in.

    BAD: Moving is so fucking expensive and time consuming. I’m tired as fuck from all the house hunting bullshit.

    UGLY: The amount of work I’ve done this week at my job is abysmal. I’m constantly amazed that I haven’t gotten fired yet, but my boss is about as productive as I am.

  • Guacamole Jim

    Good: It was my birthday yesterday, and I had a great afternoon of $4 pints and good friends.

    Bad: Reeeeeaaaaally didn’t want to go to work this morning.

    Ugly: Post $4 pint + pizza poops. Feels bad, man.

    http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/30900000/Random-GIF-s-homestuck-30933162-500-395.gif

  • Good: It’s Friday and consumption of beer will commence in approximately 3 hours.
    Bad: My wife has yet to receive a dime for disability while on maternity leave. Documents have been sent back and forth several times and they are still asking for stuff. I called them up today and went Big Worm on them because playin wit my money is like playin wit my emotions!!!
    Ugly: Not living in Texas so I can see Housecore fest. I am disappoint.

    • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

      But not living in Texas has so many benefits: no tornadoes, no ridiculous levels of heat, not as many shitty politicians, no fracking, not as many overly Jesus-y people, no people with tiny hands, etc…

      • All but the tiny hands thing still apply to Kansas 🙁

      • Dat lineup though…..

        • CT-12

          Just saw their post now that you mentioned it. I’ve gone the last 2 years and I live in Washington, and it was worth it both times, though I understand you have a child now so you may not have the time/money to make it. Either way man, I’d totally recommend it, it was a blast!

  • JamesGrimm

    Good: band has been writing new and interesting stuff.
    Bad: For last weekend moved, lots of furniture and various weighted boxes into new place. Had to work overtime the following week.
    Ugly: I did this at work (see picture)

    • KJM

      O_O

    • Guacamole Jim

      AAAAH

      What band?

      • JamesGrimm

        Blood lust unlimited. under BLu on facebook. I ve been trying to get us out of the local sound for years. its starting to pay off.

      • Periphery

        • JamesGrimm

          lololol

    • “GAAH!” – CyberNERDtic BROLOrganism (2015).

      • CyberneticOrganism

        GAH!

    • sweetooth0

      upvotes for real gore pics

    • FUKKBEARD

      Doesn’t seem like enough stitches.

      • JamesGrimm

        it was deeper than long. I asked and he said he could go back in. I said im good, lol.

        • Disgustache

          I hear the “deeper than long” a lot. :<

      • (baller)

  • Good: I conquered the two seminars of the Master last weekend. Owned those filthy professors with my might >:) Also, I’m partially free from duty, because I also finished the sections of classes I do and I will not have to see little crappy students in two months.

    Bad: uhh, I don’t think it was a really bad thing this week. So, I pass 😀

    Ugly: this stupid middle class fat alt-rocker intern. Flush that guy.

    • Alucard, Fuckmothering Vampire

      You mean 90’s cool alt-rock, or post 2006 ball-less hipster drek alt-rock.
      If it’s the latter I agree with you.

      • “post 2006 ball-less hipster drek alt-rock”

        Also named here as: “Post 2006 Caracas-core alt-rock we-all-sound-the-same-and-thought-we-all-are-very-deep-for-you”.

      • JamesGrimm

        yes, there is a difference.

    • J.R.

      Here is me as a lion! We went to the zoo today!

      Here is another lion. Happy Friday!

  • GOOD: Jurassic World. Beer.

    BAD: Me.

    UGLY: You.

  • Alucard, Fuckmothering Vampire

    Good job on the gurl, now I just need to get laid. Vampire needs are way worse than human needs
    Good: Finally dropped Computing. so I’m extremely happy about that. 2 Trips next week, one to a UCAS convention so I can look at Uni’s and make fun of old friends who went to other colleges.
    Bad: Download starts today and I’m not there. ADTR into FNM, that is all.
    Ugly: The fact that I still haven’t seen Mad Max yet. I’m just gonna cry in the corner now.

    • KJM

      I probably won’t see Fury Road until it hits blu-ray.

      • Alucard, Fuckmothering Vampire

        I’m probably gonna be in the same boat, I kind of hoped that the second trip would extend into the afternoon where we could basically do whatever the fuck we want and make our own way back to college. Its York, so its not like its far away.

        • KJM

          Like another regular here(forget who), I’ve lost a lot of my energy for first-run movies. I still see plenty of films, but gone are the days when I would see at least 1 a week in the theater. I stick to Netflix and HBO now.

      • MISTAAAAAKE!

    • CT-12

      what’s ADTR?

      • Alucard, Fuckmothering Vampire

        A Day To Remember, I like them, but you’ll probably hate them.

        • CT-12

          Oh ok. Also, I’m still sort of confused by what you said “ADTR into FNM”, what does that mean? Were you downloading albums from both bands or…? I guess I’m just slow today hahaha. Also, I appreciate having you here man, always glad to see a diverse, respectful group.

          • Alucard, Fuckmothering Vampire

            I meant Download Fest. People call it a metal fest but it isn’t really, not like Bloodstock is at least.

          • CT-12

            Oh ok, finally get it. Fuck man, I hope you get to see FNM soon, they’re a great show. Saw ’em earlier this year and gonna see them again in September (hopefully with a more livelier crowd this time around). Also, what’s your opinion on the new album? I loved it, probably my favorite of the year so far.

          • Alucard, Fuckmothering Vampire

            I am in agreement, my fave of the year, and this is a year with To Pimp A Butterfly in it, so thats no mean feat.
            Also, UK tour plz, hopefully with Refused or TDEP as support.

      • Edward/Breegrodamus™

        Mad Max: Fury Road was pretty trill.

        Bunch of good movies coming out at the end of the year.

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    all 3 at once–full vol
    https://youtu.be/nJSYaJj86Xk

    -https://youtu.be/Jmk5frp6-3Q

    -https://youtu.be/EE6_PacCnRw

  • Shrimp in a Pizza Box™

    Bad: bought The Witcher 2 yesterday at 50% off, today steam decided to drop it even lower at just 3 €
    Good: managed to buy Risk of Rain (fun little rogue-like, 10/10 cheap deaths by bad RNG experience) only with money obtained by selling those steam trading card things (fucking nerds actually buy them. For money.)
    Ugly: the amount of deaths I racked up in Witcher 2 because i’m playing on hard on first playthrough, like a true hardcore nerd.

    • Alucard, Fuckmothering Vampire

      Wait till the final day of Steam Sales, then stuff like that won’t happen

  • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

    GOOD: Had some magnificient rum and Pearliquor (not simultaneously)
    BAD: Still unemployed, afraid as hell of August.
    UGLY: I could imagine me right now, quite hammered.

  • Paris Hilton

    You say Gorguts, I say Taylor Swift!
    You say Cannible Corps, I say Kanye West!
    You say Dying Fêtes, I say Katy Perry!
    You say Megadeath, I say Carly Rae Jepsen!
    You say Burbum, I say Ke$ha!

    98% of teens listen to heavy metal and rock music. Lms if you are in the 2% that support REAL MUSIC!!

    • KJM

      When I say “Tay”!!
      You say “Tay”!!
      Tay Tay!!!
      Tay Tay!!!

      • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

        *Queen Tay Tay to you, serf.

        • KJM

          Indeed, and eyes down when you say that as well.

        • She’s entirely too skinny.

          • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

            You like them thick, eh?

          • Not thick but also not anorexic. She looks like skeletor. Just doesn’t look healthy.

          • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

            I can understand that. She doesn’t look like a sack full of antlers to me.

          • FUKKBEARD

            My old lady is a very small woman. I have always preferred my females petite. I’m a fairly big dude, so I dont think there needs to be any extra poundage in the bedroom.

          • Dagon

            I’m the opposite, I think. I am a stocky guy, very short but with broad shoulders, and I tend to be more attracted to girls who are taller than me and who would be able to please Sr. Mix A Lot.

            I have been seeing a small girl the past few weeks and I sort of had to adapt a bit.

          • FUKKBEARD

            I like to be able to pick ’em up with one arm 😉

          • Dagon
          • FUKKBEARD

            I almost just spit up that shot of bourbon.

          • CT-12

            I’m really not trying to start shit here, but please watch what you say when talking about people’s weight. My girlfriend is skinny as hell and gets prodded with people’s comments about it all the time; some people have even asked if she’s anorexic. It’s embarrassing and hurtful to her, and I know people wouldn’t be so comfortable talking about her weight if she was heavy. Some people are naturally skinny and that should be taken into consideration when people post shit about how bigger women are “real women”, etc. Anyhow, yeah, not trying to be a dick, just wanted to point that out.

          • I totally get what you’re saying and I’m aware some people have no control over it. I just hate how people that do are told by the media they need to be skin and bones to be attractive.

          • CT-12

            Yeah man, and I totally know what you mean. There’s no arguing the media has glamorized skinniness in women and for someone at Swift’s height and body frame, she probably should weigh more than she does. No harm done man, I guess a nerve was just struck with me haha, but it’s all good.

          • Crazy Taco 12! more reason for you to create a burner account and join the TovH FB Group… @webb71:disqus wouldn’t hurt a soul (and is shittons of fun). i’ll wait here………..

          • KJM

            #StayKaty

          • Disgustache

            I’m so glad that you, like me, have acknowledged this. It’s like all of a sudden she lost half of her body weight and now people are like “damn, T. Swifty be likin fine as fuck.” And I’m just sitting here like, there’s a lot of blank space where most of the rest of Taylor Swift used to be.

          • yeah, until you find a girl with style, you’ll just have to shake it off

          • Disgustache

            I usually just shake after I get one off.

          • beats crying and calling my one’s parents

          • Paris Hilton

            Elbows too pointy 2/10 wood not bang

      • CyberneticOrganism

        TITTAY

  • Sir Tapir the Based™

    Good: I just took a massive shit
    Bad: now Bono is singing U2 songs in my toilet
    Ugly: my toilet

  • CyberneticOrganism
  • Kevin Nash & Friends

    At work until 6. On my break right now.

  • Pagliacci is Kvlt O)))

    Good: Took the day off.
    Bad: Because I barely slept thanks to my legs cramping all night and…
    Ugly: …an episode of reflux.

  • Paris Hilton

    The Good: I have finally moved out of my studio apartment. Well, I guess I was more-so evicted, but I consider it a move in the path of life. The divorce process finally took my apartment and I’m living in a tent-trailer right now. It’s not too bad; it’s really warm out right now, I have Wi-Fi and cable in it. Things are going good for Shannon, too. She’s dating an orthopedic surgeon named Jason. He does real estate on the side, too. He’s a pretty nice guy, I guess.

    The Bad: A raccoon broke into my tent-trailer last night. He stole the 2 Pop-Tarts I had left. That was my breakfast for today and literally all I had left. Well, besides the bag of cigarette butts I collected from the Mcdicks parking lot. What a score!

    The Ugly: None, really. Aside from not seeing my beautiful baby boy, and him not ever knowing his real father, life is pretty fucking good. I’m blessed. I have my health, a tent-trailer, and a bong I constructed out of Ikea glass decor. Life is always a gift, even when it’s not going as planned.

    • Paris, come to Venezuela!

      • Paris Hilton

        I am there. I am always in your heart, Link. I am the voice that tells you to party all night and have sex with strangers, I am the voice that tells you materialistic objects kick hella ass, I’m the voice that tells you to take another drink, I am the voice that tells you to say “fuck you” to the people you don’t like.

        • You’ve been a lot in my “fuck you” heart this week!

    • This was an emotional roller coaster

      • KJM

        liek if u cri everytiem

    • JamesGrimm

      That was really depressing.

    • KJM

      “bong I constructed out of Ikea glass decor”

      Truly, this is living.

      • FUKKBEARD

        And a great feat of ingenuity.

        Would hit that/10

  • I was at a sandwich shop today. While waiting for my order, I was fucking around with Tinder. I was composing a message to a woman I had matched with earlier in the day. I look up and see that there is an attractive woman looking at me. It is actually the same woman from Tinder. That’s cool right? No, no it’s not cool. It’s a look of palpable regret. For purposes of job rapport nonsense I was wearing a giant, hideous Hawaiian shirt at the time. My shame is eternal.

    • If she was the same, why you didn’t talk to her? o.o

    • Well, u get her digits?

      • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

        He got one of her digits alright.

    • EsusMoose

      Did you hide your hands?

    • FUKKBEARD

      How in the shit does a giant Hawaiian t-shirt correlate to job rapport?

      Also, a trve baller would pick up the lady despite your shirt. I wear v-necks and women fall all over me.

      • Office culture. It’s terrible.

        And I’ve got to feel on top of my game to lay game, y’know?

        • FUKKBEARD

          Well, I’m not sure, but I dont think you’re Samoan. Being Samoan is the only real way to rock the Hawaiian shirt and not look like a Floridian.

          • Dagon
          • Well, being either Samoan or Hunter S. Thompson.

          • FUKKBEARD

            Sometimes I think that @KJM is something like Hunter S. Thompson.

          • Dagon

            This sounds very spot on.

          • *is Hunter S. Thompson.

            There, that’s better. (Hunter S. Thompson is Immortal!!!)

          • KJM

            I’m a huge fan but I don’t consume nearly enough drugs, not for lack of trying of course.

          • FUKKBEARD

            There’s always tomorrow. Or tonight. Or right now.

          • Or yesterday if there’s a wormhole where your toilet used to be.

          • more beer

            Then you aren`t trying hard enough!

          • KJM

            It doesn’t help that I’m not really a drinker. That alone pretty much disqualifies me as “Hunter Thompson”.

          • more beer

            Yea that will do it. You just need a suitcase full of drugs. Like the ones They used to have in every health class in America in the 80`s. But they were filled with fake drugs. But they would use them as a teaching tool, by telling you. This will do this to you and that will do this. That class made me want to try everything..

          • KJM

            Telling kids over and over again not to do something pretty much guarantees they’ll do it.

          • more beer

            Yep. I know if you told me not to do something when I was a kid I was doing it.

          • Lacertilian

            only drinking acid is real

      • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

        Only two kinds of guys who wear Hawaiian shirts: gay men and big fat party animals. And Joe doesn’t look like a big fat party animal…

        (Simpsons reference. Plz don’t smite me with justice of the social variety.)

      • Lacertilian

        @joethrashnkill:disqus

    • Dagon

      Dude! You missed out on a great opportunity. Should’ve just ordered a couple shots to loosen you up a bit. Who cares about smelling like hard liquor on the job? I know one of OB/GYN professors doesn’t.

      • Your sandwich shops sound superior if they got booze.

        • Dagon

          Sandwiches are a night thing in Brasil. No one has sandwiches for lunch here. It’s actually considered really weird behavior, as well as the whole bacon/sausage thing for breakfast.

          • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

            Are those the giant ones that are like smothered in mayo? I think I saw it on No Reservations, but I might be mistaking the countries.

      • OB/GYN doesn’t care if their breath smells like genitalia? o.o

        • Liquor smells like genitalia in Venezuela? Shit, you guys really DO have it bad…or good, depending on your preferences with that kinda thing.

          • I think I’d prefer genitalia that smelled like liquor . . .

          • FUKKBEARD

            Now THAT’s an interesting product pitch.

          • Dagon

            I don’t know about the genitalias you’ve smelled/tasted but if the ones I’ve been close and personal to had their essence turned into canned beverages I’d be buying 12-packs by the thousands. Fuck water.

            –EDIT-
            I managed to gross out a lesbian chick at Brown with that comment. It’s one of my greatest achievements.

            My existence is very sad…

          • Yeah.

            Also, genitalia smells like liquor.

            Iuck.

    • CT-12

      You should’ve told her you run a blog called the Toilet ov Hell. Totally would’ve worked in your favor.

    • Paris Hilton

      Check out this TOH exclusive picture I found of Poppa Joe during the incident!!!

    • ChuggaChuggaDeedleyDoo

      “Does this mean we were destined to meet, or are you just stalking me and my majestic Hawaiian shirt?”

    • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

      I don’t think it was the hideous Hawaiian shirt…*inserts small hands Joe joke and runs*.

    • more beer

      The first time I saw S.O.D. They were all wearing Hawaiian shirt`s and shorts. If Milano could pull it off so can you.

    • Stockhausen

      There are so many layers to unravel here. I am bleak for thou, Papa Joe.

    • J.R.

      If it makes you feel any better, Lady JR says “omg Hawaiian shirts are the best”. Keep fighting the good fight

    • Óðhinn
    • Óðhinn
      • Sir Tapir the Based™

        That’s a good idea if you want to seduce McNulty. That guy sure loves Big Lebowski.

    • OldMetalHead

      If that’s all it takes to turn her away she’d not have lasted long anyway.

  • EsusMoose

    Good: Beat my roommate in a 2 hour tennis match and now gonna waste away playing fallout and listening to music for the rest of the day. Haircut didn’t make me look like a complete idiot.
    Bad: Legs are killing me, finally got my textbook I needed for Monday and motherfucker is giant with tiny text.
    Ugly: Yo momma

    • It was a two hour gta online tennis match wasn’t it? You can’t fool me.

      • EsusMoose

        If one had the attention span and skill to last/play two hours of gta tennis I’d give them a high five to help lift their sad, pathetic soul

  • Dagon

    GOOD: Bought Fallout, Fallout 2 and Fallout Tactics for a very cheap price on Steam. Also, today is Valentine’s Day in Brasil so I’m thinking about getting my long time girlfriend a glove or a ring. Not sure which yet.

    BAD: I honestly don’t know when I’ll be able to play them. Tons of reading for the weekend, I won’t even be able to drink (I think).

    UGLY: @EsusMoose:disqus’s momma

    • FUKKBEARD

      A glove? Is that a more traditional gift down there?

      • Dagon

        One glove. It’s my right hand.

        I guess the joke works better in Portuguese.

        • FUKKBEARD

          Nope. I get it now, though. Lolzy.

    • omg, bad fish god, stop telling jokes of other moms!

    • EsusMoose

      SHE’S A NICE LADY!

  • FUKKBEARD

    Yes: Finally. FINALLY. I have two days off. Four straight weeks of 6-days on was starting to drain me. Also, my new hair clippers came (Wahl Balding). I reached a new max for overhead press (225). This new Eternal Valley album from Celty’s post has been rocking my world lately. Brother is about to come and hang out, blow down some kpins with me and play DkS2 and The Last of Us. I’m about to take a huge shit.

    No: Soon I’ll breach 230lbs. Just wait for the cut to come around, though.

    Oh, no you didn’t: Tapirs.

    • 225? Without pushing with your legs??

      • FUKKBEARD

        I’m hoping to get my shoulder press to 325 soon.

        • And the beard press?

          • FUKKBEARD

            Its called the beard impress

      • FUKKBEARD

        Technically, to answer your question. I clean & press, then rep the ohp.

    • Sargeant Honkey Poopypanties

      I eat and drink, and I still can’t get past 145 pounds. Lol, I’m a tiny little guy (135 lbs. and 5’6).

      • FUKKBEARD

        Man if you weigh only 135 and can OHP 145 (I.E. greater than your body weight), with such a small frame, you should be proud

        • Sargeant Honkey Poopypanties

          LMAO, I’m not Bruce Lee! I did lift a bag of Doritos this morning though.
          The guy who plays The Mountain on Game Of Thrones is a fucking beast when it comes to lifting, though.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKZEk4NG1-o
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W34DU2Md_iQ

          • JamesGrimm

            dudes a fucking , monster.

          • Sargeant Honkey Poopypanties

            Yep! Iceland has tons of bodybuilders like that,

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8A7woRoVwyM

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            A lot of people were complaining or criticizing Thrones this season, but it’s been pretty frickin’ ill imho.

          • KJM

            GoT has been awesome this season, but it feels like only yesterday that it started and it’s 2 days away from being done until next year.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            True that. True Detective starts in like nine days though.

          • UH… SRS?

          • KJM

            Yep, the week after GoT ends.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            June 21st playboy. It airs the week after Game of Thrones ends, so yeah, nine days.

          • this shall delay my GoT watching for another few months (haven’t started season 5 yet…)

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            Spoiler: it’s good.

          • Sargeant Honkey Poopypanties

            Silence you! I got to episode 3 and had to factory reset my computer. I lost the link where I can watch it for free. I haven’t watched a long series all the way through since Fringe.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            Couchtuner my friend. Google search “Game of Thrones” and “Couchtuner”.

          • Sargeant Honkey Poopypanties

            Thanks, but I had the link for the whole series.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            The whole series is on there, by episode. I watched the final season of Mad Men on there, and most of Better Call Saul.

          • totes lost interest in Mad Men (depending on involvement of Christina Hendricks), still love Better Call Saul but behind on episodes (srs it’s incredible)

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            Get at me when you finish BCS, we can discuss it!

          • k, should finish this week! i so <3 Bob Odenkirk.

          • Sargeant Honkey Poopypanties

            I got all of season 2 of Mad Men on DVD, but sadly I haven’t seen season 1.

          • KJM

            He’s been showing up at WWE events lately.

          • Sargeant Honkey Poopypanties

            It’d be interesting watching him take on The Great Khali.

          • CT-12

            Michael Cole’s commentary here is priceless; I watch this anytime I need a good laugh. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nE21XfoZWaA

          • Sargeant Honkey Poopypanties

            Or even worse, The Poke Of Doom.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhS4ZDnRqJQ

          • CT-12

            “SHAZAM, BY GOLLY, GEE WHILLICKERS!!!!”

      • KJM

        I have decades of untreated thyroid disease working against me. I could watch you eat that food and gain weight. In fact, I just bought a new stair stepper because I’m gaining back too much(I busted my ass and lost 40 lbs a few years back, gained back almost 20 of it).

        • Sargeant Honkey Poopypanties

          I have hypoglycemia, which makes my metabolism fast as hell. Thankfully I haven’t had problems with that for several years.

    • Sir Tapir the Based™

      You’re on our list.

  • Sargeant Honkey Poopypanties

    Good: Overall, a pretty chill week, and got plenty of cleaning done.
    Bad: Kinda sorta bad. Had to babysit my roomy’s kid yesterday, and she started talking about her dad (who killed himself a year ago) and God. It’s incredibly weird, considering that I’m atheist as it gets, having that conversation with a 5 year old.
    Ugly: Irina Shayk.

    http://oogling.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/irina2.jpg

    • JamesGrimm

      eee

      • Sargeant Honkey Poopypanties

        Yeah. Thankfully she cheered up.

        • FUKKBEARD

          I’m wondering if he was talking about that beast you just posted. I dont want to scroll back up because nightmares.

          • Sargeant Honkey Poopypanties

            Irina Shayk? Oh yeah, I’d kick her out of bed, because sharp knees and stuff.

  • Good: I’ve been on medical leave from work all week and have so far avoided draining the remains of my checking account on a Bandcamp spree.

    Bad: My back is still all jacked up; physical therapy in an hour–then BEER THERAPY all night long.

    Ugly:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1rnBQJxfdk

  • Edward/Breegrodamus™

    GOOD: I survived my first week of work and didn’t quit.

    BAD: Working my new job means I have barely kept up with the site all week. Sad face.

    UGLY: I spent several hours today listening to an adult with the development
    of a three month old child scream at full volume. It was a bit unnerving
    and I have a kink in my neck because of it.

    • FUKKBEARD

      Probably the risk you signed on for when you accepted the job. It did sound like something I could probably never do.

      • Edward/Breegrodamus™

        Blackbeard I have seen so much shit this week. I honestly never thought or expected I would be doing something like this. It’s awesome and a bit terrifying.

        • FUKKBEARD

          Is it a private place or a state-run place?

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            It’s a non-profit, day program for people away from their homes or group homes. It’s a DTAH (day training and habilitation) program, meaning it’s like work training and some of the clients actually get paid to do small repetitive tasks / “jobs”.

          • FUKKBEARD

            Man, that’s rough. Should be, perhaps, gratifying though

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            I think it will prove to be quite rewarding. It’s also a very entry level job in the field I’d like to end up in – social work, more specifically mental health therapy. I’ve heard mixed things about that, meaning I dunno if it’s exactly relevant experience but fuck man I feel like if I can do this job for a year I could literally do anything.

          • FUKKBEARD

            I’ve told myself the same things for my entire adulthood. The question isn’t if you can do it for a year, it’s if you can do it for a lifetime

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            My hope is to move into more Mental Illness (MI) and Chemical Dependency related work.

        • more beer

          I was only able to last a year doing that kind of stuff. Best of luck to you. It is terrifying.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            Thank you. I hope I acclimate to it quickly. I’m sure I will have more stories as the work progresses!

            What kind of hospital did you work in?

          • more beer

            University of New Mexico Hospital. It was the only trauma center around. So there was always crazy shit going on.

    • Dagon

      I can sympathize with the scream thing. It’s very unnerving, but you will get used to it.

      • Edward/Breegrodamus™

        Someone once told me a crying child is scientifically the worst sound, the most aggravating, the most annoying. Now picture a full grown adult doing that. Lol

        • Dagon

          How old was this person? I’ve seen a few elderly patients with late stage dementia and it broke my heart every time. I am more sensitive to older people than I am with sick children.

          I guess I just transfer shit because of my grandma and that’s why it always gets to me.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            It’s hard to tell people’s ages, because of the DD many people aren’t at what they would seem. I could look at dude’s file next week. I’m guessing… mid 20s.

          • Dagon

            Damn, that is a lot younger than I would’ve expected.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            We got people of all ages. 20s – 60s.

          • Dagon

            Take my legs but don’t take my brain. That’s how I feel.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            I want both! I’d take my legs and brain versus all the money in the entire fucking world. I’d like healthy kids too. I have always felt that way but I feel that way more now. The lives these parents have, I can only imagine.

    • CT-12

      Glad to see that your job is at least bearable, and the first week is always the roughest man so don’t sweat it.

      • Edward/Breegrodamus™

        Thanks CT.

        I actually saw one of our clients that appeared like he had been castrated. I asked another worker about it, and she confirmed my suspicion. Shit is real in there.

        • CT-12

          Holy shit hahaha! “Appeared to be castrated”, was the dude bleeding through his pants or something?! Damn, that is a fucking crazy sounding job if that’s just your first week there.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            Bleeding through his pants would be crazy, but it’s actually much worse. We help people in the bathroom, so I got a good look at where this dude’s junk should have been. I tried not to look too hard (since I’m green as fuck, lol) but I noticed it twice. Dude I have seen a few old lady bushes in the first week! Haha

          • CT-12

            Oh good lord dude, hahaha, well good luck with that man haha!!!

          • more beer

            That is crazy. I worked in a hospital for a year and saw something similar. This dude got drunk cut his off and threw it on his roof. Well they brought him to the hospital and couldn`t find it for like 6 hours. When they finally found it they put it on ice airlifted it to the trauma unit and they tried to reattach it. Well that didn`t work and he got gangrene in it and they had to remove it again. The freakiest thing was he would just lay there and look at where it used to be for hours on end. I saw some crazy things there people who tried to shot themselves in the head and lived missing half of their skull. But that was by far the craziest thing I saw. As a guy I will never understand that. I`ve never looked down there and thought I don`t this anymore. Even in a long drought with the ladies.

    • welcome to the toilet!

      • Edward/Breegrodamus™

        Thanks for the welcome back ❤

  • Good: The Witcher 3.
    Bad: No job.
    Ulgy: The boil I got from sitting so long while playing The Witcher 3.

  • Disgustache

    GOOD: Going to Disneyland tonight and tomorrow. Staying the night. And I get a new couch this weekend after not having one for a month. Now I’ll have something to draw you like one of my French girls on. Plus corndogs at Disneyland.

    BAD: We are going to Disneyland for the niece’s 7th birthday so we can’t yell “fuck” and make sleazy faces like Ron Jeremy at people. Family behavior time.

    UGLY: I have to shake hands with a guy who tries to emasculate you when he shakes your hand. He’s a double medium shirts, deep v-neck with the too perfect salt-and-pepper hair type of man’s man. I’m talking Iron Giant, Macho Man “OOOOHHHH YEAH” handshakes. He’s really a Type-A doucherino, and he wants to let you know it when you say hi. Dominant male monkey mother fucker.

    http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/06/06eb47a5297f58477b8aab41a3b860db59a92badee2cc0d63454a0bd0c176472.jpg

    • CT-12

      I know what you mean about the handshakes thing dude hahaha. I’ve known a few people who seem to think giving a “firm handshake” means crushing someone’s else’s hand. People can take such a simple gesture and over-exaggerate it’s meaning so hard.

      • Disgustache

        I’ve been thinking about it nonstop since I found out he was going. I’m really trying to psych myself up to give him a ball and soul crushing handshake. But I’ve got piano player’s fingers, so I’ll probably just embarrass myself.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        GOTTA CRUSH YOUR FUCKING HAND BRO OTHERWISE PEOPLE THINK I’M A NON-ATHLETIC LAZY TYPE-B HOMOSEXUAL PUSSY

        • CT-12

          Dude, you should totally do a writeup for a job interview at B-Dubs with a situation like this haha.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            I may have to incorporate that into the next one. I can’t fucking stand hand-crushers. Ease off the testosterone, Beef McSmalldick.

    • Sargeant Honkey Poopypanties

      People who do that macho handshake shit should have their hands cut off Sharia law style!

  • Kevin Nash & Friends

    Good: A music festival is happening 5 minutes from my house, work, the band Colosseum

    Bad: Apparently Gary Moore is dead

    Ugly: The death of Christopher Lee and Dusty Rhodes.

    • CT-12

      Yeah, I think Moore’s been dead for a few years, I loved him when he was in Thin Lizzy. Also, are you talking about Coliseum? I actually really dug their new album (thanks go to Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple for recommending it).

      • Kevin Nash & Friends

        No. The band Colosseum is a 70’s prog rock band that Gary Moore led an incarnation of.

        • Sargeant Honkey Poopypanties

          There’s also an indy rock band named that. They’re actually pretty good.

    • Sir Tapir the Based™

      You forgot Ornette Coleman.

      • JW(E)G

        Priorities.

      • Kevin Nash & Friends

        I did. May he rest in peace.

  • JW(E)G

    GOOD:
    I’ve been waiting for ages for Scream Factory to announce a third Vincent Price Blu-ray Collection, and… they still haven’t. Instead, Kino Lorber stepped into that void and announced a whole bunch for later 2015.

    – July: Madhouse
    – August: War-Gods of the Deep (aka City Under the Sea)
    – September: House of the Long Shadows
    – October: Twice Told Tales & The Oblong Box (the latter also featuring Christopher Lee, so you know, must-buy now…)
    They’re also doing the two “Doctor Goldfoot” films, but I’m slightly less enthusiastic about those – Price is best remembered for his work in horror for a reason.

    This leaves just enough early Vincent Price horror films – almost bookended by both versions of ‘Tower of London’ (1939 & 1962) were it not for “Diary of a Madman” (63) – for Scream Factory to do a volume 3. They’d better get on that fast, though.

    BAD:
    Remember back in April/May when I was enthusiastic about an upcoming (paid) Research Project? I’m still waiting for confirmation that the Grant was approved by MITACS so that the work can actually even start. I made it through May and so far in June by way of transferring my meagre TA earnings directly to my bills, and the rest of June will work out (tightly); but it’s still frustrating because all I can do at the moment is inflate my overall debt rather than start to pay it down.

    …I am optimistic that, regardless, things should be in the clear by July. Given that July 12 also marks the 6-month date of a GIC I set up back in January, I’ll have a massive chunk of my credit card debt gone immediately. It’s a good thing none of those films noted above are out until then.

    Still. No new music for at least a month, either.

    Shouldn’t be that hard. With the exception of an Orchid EP there’s nothing on my radar between now and August (Cattle Decapitation, natch).

  • CT-12

    Good: Finally went to a dentist and oral surgeon and got some prescriptions to ease my pain until I get my wisdom teeth taken out. Also got some sweet CD’s in the mail recently, and have the day off today. Overall have just felt in a better mood recently and have been feeling well enough to do fun stuff outside again.

    Bad: I have to wait over a month for surgery, and my mouth still hurts occasionally (eating food is the worst part). Also, the Mariners have been sucking dick for their last few games, gonna take a lot to get back to .500

    Ugly: I dunno

    • Disgustache

      Wisdom teeth out is quite the journey. I wish you clear skies on that voyage. You could always just blend up your food, I guess. Have a meat shake.

      http://www.trevorpearson.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/meat-shake.jpg

      • CT-12

        Yeah dude, it blows because one tooth is stabbing into my cheek and gums, and that area ended up becoming infected. Also feels like my jaw might be out of alignment as well, so the bad shit just keeps piling up. I’ve basically been on a strict diet of yogurt, applesauce, grits, potatoes, etc. Note: Pho is probably the best food you can possibly eat when you can only do soft food.

        • Disgustache

          Well yeah pho is pho-nomenal. Well and just some soft serve ice cream.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        YUM

    • I was lucky enough that my wisdom teeth weren’t impacted so I can’t say I feel ya , but I feel for ya. Wisdom teeth may be the most pointless thing ever. Makes me wonder how they dealt with it in world war 1 times or game of thrones type time periods.

      • CT-12

        Funny enough you mention the time period thing, because my oral surgeon was stoked when he saw I only had 3 wisdom teeth. He then went on to tell me that more and more people (especially Americans, apparently) are coming in with only 3 wisdom teeth, and also more and more people are being born without appendixes. He was saying that this may be humanity’s next step in evolution or something. Interesting stuff, though I can’t confirm it.

        • That’s very interesting seeing as the appendix is useless.

    • KJM

      2 wisdom teeth down, 2 to go.

  • JW(E)G

    Something else that’s Good. I was looking for another indie horror project to support on Kickstarter or Indiegogo after the success of The Void and The Chair.

    I found this on Kickstarter: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/eliasganster/ayla-a-feature-film-about-life-from-death-reborn

    Reasons to support:
    – Bill Oberst Jr.
    – Tristan Risk
    – Indirectly supports the ‘Pacific Northwest’ Indie Film scene

    • CT-12

      Thanks for sharing dude!

  • about to get pissed on vodka and slay some posers in DS2 with a Red Iron Twinblade +6 (yes i upgraded!)
    um…….. Stay Assy Edmonton!

  • KJM

    Here’s a quiz in case you’re just not sure.
    http://gawker.com/quiz-are-you-black-1710875225?fb_ref=Default

    • 🙁 after completion of my quiz it recommended i “check my privileges”. is my widnows XP broke?

      • KJM

        NTFS privileges are now based on ethnicity and socio-economic status. You may need an upgrade to Windows Ultimate Whitey edition.

    • Sir Tapir the Based™

      Huh. Turns out I’m black. Who would’ve known?

    • FUKKBEARD

      The funny part is that if you answer “yes” it gives you a picture of Obama. Obama is half white.

      Where is the are you white quiz?

      • Sir Tapir the Based™

        Why would you want that quiz, you racist?

        • KJM

          Perhaps he’s just not sure?

          • Sir Tapir the Based™

            Are you white quiz?

            Are you a racist?
            Yes
            No

            If you choose “yes”, you’re white. If you choose “no”, you’re not white.

          • KJM

            What if I’m actually more of a pinkish beige?

  • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

    wait is Jack Bauer the one who professed his lust for Teletubbies today, hence the photoshop?

    • No that was Kevin Nash and friends. This is just the editors busting mah balls

  • Kevin Nash & Friends

    Food: Nachos

    Gad: Zooks

    Snugly: None at the moment.

  • J.R.

    The Good: Lady and I went to the zoo today and that was awesome. Animals, man. Totally cool.

    The Bad: I bashed my leg on a rock while exploring a river cave and it hurts. so there is that.

    The Ugly: School is dumb. That is all.

    • Lacertilian

      Was the river cave at the zoo? That would be cool as fuck.

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    both at once – full vol
    =https://youtu.be/J97NtgRhVqA

    -https://youtu.be/Nz0b4STz1lo