Flush It Friday: Weekend Dad’s Patriot Games

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Your fearless leader, Joe Thrashnkill, has defected to the socialist haven of Cuba. That leaves the state of this blog, nay the entire free world, in the hands of Weekend Dad. So when you ponder Jose Thrashnkilo sipping mojitos on a Cuban beach with Castro’s chainsmoking frozen head, fret not. I am always watchful, always ready, and always free. Let’s get patriotic this weekend!

Good: With Jose ousted, I can finally divert Toilet ov Hell funding to the completion of my secret, communist crushing robot, Liberty Prime. BETTER DEAD THAN RED, EY TOILET FAM?

Bad: Anything that isn’t red, white, and blue.

Ugly: The fact that people still doubt my decisive victory over terrorism.

That’s it, my friends. You are free to be free this weekend and free to express everything that sucks in your life in the comments. Just enjoy our FREE Weekly Wipe, courtesy of bald eagles.

Did you dig this? Take a second to support Toilet ov Hell on Patreon!
  • Sid Vicious Promos

    Good: it’s my birthday, won 500 dollars from a scratch off.

    Bad:none

    Ugly:none

    • Wet W’s Whistle

      “You’re welcome.” – Uncle Sam

    • Howard Dean

      Please tell me you are not one of those people who sits at the counter of the gas station continuously scratching tickets and buying new ones. There’s a gang of old people and derelict ruffians who do that shit at the gas stations near me. They’re just begging for euthanasia.

      You should buy like 80 Baconators at Wendy’s with the winnings. Solid investment.

      • Wet W’s Whistle

        But if he buys $500 worth of scratch tickets, surely he can multiply his winnings tenfold.

        • Joaquin Stick

          — M. Shadows + 3

        • Howard Dean

          Totally. The math is easy: a $2 ticket = $500 in winnings, so $500 of tickets = at least $125K. It’s just math, you can’t argue against that.

      • KJM, Doom Scientist

        I actually know someone from a rich family who got their money cut off because they spent it all on scratchoffs. To be fair, the dude’s a bit mentally disabled but still. At least they forced him to get a job.

        • Joaquin Stick

          My family wanted to try this weird dice game during a Christmas party where the prizes were $1 scratchers, and so after like 45 minutes everyone had their winning cards, and turned out that no one even got that dollar back. ~30 losers. Good times.

          • KJM, Doom Scientist

            I have no problem spending a few dollars occasionally but some people take it too far.

          • Dumpster Lung

            That’s a really fun idea haha

        • CONAN Ayatollah of Jack & Cola

          sounds like the plot from a big bang theory episode ……..

          • KJM, Doom Scientist

            That bad, eh?

          • CONAN Ayatollah of Jack & Cola

            big bang theory is the visual equivalent to Johnson era ac/dc, it’s not remotely my favorite but it doesn’t irritate me either.

          • KJM, Doom Scientist

            I don’t enjoy that show at all, but then again I don’t like most non-animated sitcoms so that doesn’t mean much.

      • Sid Vicious Promos

        I usyally never play scratch offs.

        • Howard Dean

          That is good. Upvoted for not squandering money on scratch tickets.

    • HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SVP!!

    • Happy Born Day! Gettin Dat Paper in 2017!

    • Happy birthday and congrats on the lottery, I think.

      Hey! Stop playing that lottery thingy!

      • KJM, Doom Scientist

        $5-10 a week ain’t so bad if you have a regular income.

        • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

          And if not, PLAY MORE! WIN BIG!

          • KJM, Doom Scientist

            More like PLAY MORE! USE YOUR MONEY FOR TOILET PAPER!!

      • Sid Vicious Promos

        It was a very rare occasion.

        • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

          I enjoy it as well. Nice win!

      • Dumpster Lung

        I think the lottery or even regular gambling is fine if you go into it treating anything you spend as purely disposable income. As long as you’re not counting on a win to have a good time, then you’re set. A scratch-off is not any worse than getting an overpriced Starbucks coffee, except you don’t get a ton of sugar/calories with a scratch-off 😛

        (Not that I ever buy scratch-off tickets, but never had anything against it)

    • ME GORAK™✓ᶜᵃᵛᵉᵐᵃⁿ

      500 BUCKS YOU SAY!!!!!!!!!! (ALSO HAPPY BIRTHDAY @vinnylevine:disqus )

      https://68.media.tumblr.com/007d6cf9fc30a75f28df55c3ff827b6c/tumblr_omrxmjw6eI1r9c63ao1_500.gif

    • KJM, Doom Scientist

      Spend that cash on something worthwhile that will last.

      • Sir Ukkometso The Based

        If his parents won’t take the money

        • KJM, Doom Scientist

          It helps if he doesn’t tell them.

          • Sir Ukkometso The Based

            I feel like they do a full body search everytime he comes home to see if he has any money.

        • Sid Vicious Promos

          They keep it in an envelope so I don’t spend it all.

          • KJM, Doom Scientist

            Is there something that this is building toward? School? A car?

          • Sid Vicious Promos

            It’s in case I ever need money for anything. I have money for a car building up in my bank account.

          • KJM, Doom Scientist

            So you have a separate account besides what you give your parents? Okay then.

          • Sid Vicious Promos

            I have an account with my savings. My parents hold onto my spare cash and they give it to me when I want to buy something.

          • KJM, Doom Scientist

            Ah, now that sounds smart.

      • more beer

        Like beer drugs and hookers!

    • Hans Copronym
    • sweetooth0

      Noice! 500 bucks on a scratchy is a mighty victory indeed. Sounds like it’s gonna be a good birthday!

    • Waynecro

      Happy birthday, duder!

    • Óðinn

      Happy Birthday, JJD! Get drunk and smoke some weed!

  • Hans Copronym

    Everybody’s working for the weekend
    Everybody wants a Toilet Beer

    https://i.gyazo.com/ecb35ac2a5bea275816803210fba67e6.jpg

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahvSgFHzJIc

  • tigeraid

    Oh come on, that can’t be Joe’s real picture. He wouldn’t have a nipple piercing!

    • Wet W’s Whistle

      The nice thing is that I could say he does without him showing up to deny it.

      So yes, Jose does have a nipple piercing.

    • Joaquin Stick

      You too Link! Hope all is well in your city, keep hearing about crazy stuff over there.

      • Shit’s loose on Caracas, Maracaibo is kinda tame compared to it. Only a few protests these weeks that ended with teargas bombing, but nothing near my home or my work, for luck.

        • Dumpster Lung

          Whoa, had no idea! Glad things are alright where you are.

      • Also, thanks <3

  • ME GORAK™✓ᶜᵃᵛᵉᵐᵃⁿ

    GOOD: METAL & BEER!!!!!! ( & WEEKEND DAD, ALL HAIL WEEKEND DAD!!!!!!)
    BEER:https://tiltingsuds.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/dscn0637.jpg
    METAL:https://youtu.be/_ldAksH34l8

  • Brock Samson

    Good: Saw Trap Them and Call of the Void last night
    Bad: Extremely drunk girl at the show falling all over the place
    Ugly: that drunk girl

    • Old Man Doom

      Seeing them this Sunday. I’m ready to have my face torn off.

      • Wet W’s Whistle

        Drunk girls?

        • Old Man Doom

          “Where’s Kelly? She went to the bathroom 20 minutes ago.” *vomits*

    • I’m jelly, wish that tour was coming out east.

    • Waynecro

      Dude, I’m seeing Trap Them and Call of the Void tonight. I’m psyched.

      • Óðinn

        Sweet. Enjoy, Waynecro.

    • Óðinn
  • Old Man Doom

    Good: looking at some sublets for my Brown University research fellowship (working in the HP Lovecraft archives). Any toileteers from Providence?
    Bad: I’m all out of beer
    Ugly: I’m all out of beer

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjLEpXmzbnY

  • Good: New Eighteen Visions goes hard, that is all
    https://youtu.be/WBmjprLSjRU

  • JWG79

    There is no Bad or Ugly, only Zuul Good:

    – I worked from early Monday until Tuesday AM on a big Thesis update, sent at 2AM
    – Produced a progress report and a work plan for the next few weeks (and May), sent early AM a few days ago
    – Sent my Thesis Extension Request around 2AM this morning
    – Woke up to find it was okayed by my Supervisor, so is now in the hands of the Graduate Advisor for final signature. Might have it through FOGS approval by May 1 (the termination date) but if not it gets recognized retroactively
    – Will work a bit this Weekend, but otherwise am planning for my Hamilton trip
    – On that note: looked up the location of all tea shops, record stores & used bookstores (‘all’ one of them) within Hamilton city limits. If I get much spare time between workshops I’ll have plenty to do Tuesday and Wednesday.

    On top of that, Spring has sprung for sure. Hamilton weather looks very similar to here so I might be able to pack lightly (non-sunny weather gear: rain shell at most).

    – I’m still working through my recent 31 EP bandcamp spree and probably will for a while yet (I’m going to repeat all of them a few times before I forget about them for a bit). On that note, here’s a short sample of some standouts so far:

    Metal:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7KdMH3CTks
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJq8O1IzLLk
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjuNQZzxgZM
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x584708Qaj4
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmzSJQ_S52U
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJ-LiHgFI6s

  • sweetooth0

    GOOD: My mom’s red blood cell count is up, so the drugs they gave her are working (even if she isn’t really happy about the side effects). Going to see Primitive Man and Weedeater on Saturday.

    BAD: My sister got evicted, again, and is currently in process of having all of her shit moved into my garage until she has her new place supposedly some time next week. Unfortunately last week my car got broken into in my driveway, so I wasn’t planning on ever parking outside the garage again. And these two things really aren’t working together toward that goal.

    UGLY: Not getting wasted out of my mind at Primitive Man and Weedeater on Saturday is gonna be a challenge. But I’m gonna try hard not to fuck up.

    • Wet W’s Whistle

      Glad to hear about your mom. Sorry about your sister.

      • sweetooth0

        she’s a dumb ass. No sympathy from me at this point. Now that my folks have moved to BC she doesn’t have her little safety net for every time she figures just not paying the fucking rent is gonna work out. From me she only gets the tough love. I mean holy shit, you’re almost thirty and you can’t figure out that not paying the bills will fuck you over??? Maybe next time she’ll remember how shitty it was this time and won’t do it again.

  • The Tetrachord of Archytas

    Good: saw coheed twice this week. Once in my hometown in the pit with one of my best friends who I grew up seeing them with. And the next day drunk in San Diego after a fun time at modern times.

    Bad: dear hunter played a really lame set. Outside of a couple songs…it was basically all the slow mellow songs from their last couple records. They played them really spot on great delivery but the song choices were just so low energy.

    Ugly: was supposed to spend the weekend in the mountains with my lady, my best friend and his wife and kids, but the little ones got really sick so I guess I’m just gonna go to work this weekend instead

    Also just listened to the podcast this week. The guy from artificial brain seems like such a swell dude

    • Waynecro

      COHEED!!! I saw them in Oakland last week. So awesome.

    • The Mighty Thorange

      Not often I see Coheed mentioned on here. Those guys need more love round these parts.

      • The Tetrachord of Archytas

        totes. They pop up every once in a while, but I think in the few years since the toilet began they haven’t put out too much material.

        • The Mighty Thorange

          That is a very good point I did not consider.

  • J.R.™

    I got very little done at work today because nothing makes sense. The moment the output from this turbulence block hits the bus out to the rest of my model everything kills itself. Anyone with simulink cred hit me up for some horror stories.

    I haven’t eaten since 7am.

    I was about to leave work but realized I made a timy string error in all 171 of our baseline runs so I get to sit here for 30 more minutes while my new corrected baseline algorithm runs.

    Sort those into good bad and ugly yourselves. Much love from Jeezy have a good weekend fellows

    • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

      Best to realise your mistake yourself right?

  • The Mighty Thorange

    Good: Just played a gig in my local museum with my Celtic folk metal band for my university project Here is what I looked like.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6f426e09c84a0a2a616c373553875b7cc4aabd4d64a811986a8848b9df21befc.jpg
    Bad: Sound was pretty shite due to playing in a weird room that, to be fair, isn’t designed for bands playing. Cool experience though.
    Ugly: Got some stares from a lot of old people. “Is that a real face tattoo?”
    “Eh…No, it’s just for the performance”
    “Oh… you can never tell with you young people these days”

    • Óðinn

      One Man Celtic Black Metal, from France of all places. And yet somehow, it’s good.

      https://youtu.be/n1E-YQDA6ok

      • The Mighty Thorange

        Well France has Celtic history. They used to be indomitable Gauls after all… Even if his music is about Irish Celtic stuff instead. In the pub right now but will listen to this when I am sober.

      • The Mighty Thorange

        Right. Been quite a while since I have heard black Metal that has caught my interest. This has hit the fucking spot.

      • Dave Vincent’s Perm

        Damn it’s almost as if France had celtic tribes too or something

      • Dumpster Lung

        This is pretty badass! When I first really got into metal (and still, just to a lesser extent) I would binge real hard for a while on certain genres as I stumbled upon them. Went through a power metal/folk metal phase listening to tons of stuff, some I still enjoy, but sooo much lolbuttz too. Really haven’t heard much Celtic/folk stuff in a while, but this is great.

        • Óðinn

          Yes. It’s for fans of Primordial for sure.

    • Óðinn

      Kids these days, with their hippity hoppity music and face tattoos. ;)http://s.likes-media.com/img/46d4316872ed6d6e7b3d0e50d128913e.600x.jpg

      • The Mighty Thorange

        That makes my woad facepaint look downright normal.

    • Dumpster Lung

      Not facepaint, but I’ll take any excuse to bring up Slough Feg:

      http://www.vampster.com/images/gallery/sloughfeg_live2002_mikefans1.jpg

  • CT-12

    Good: Gonna see the Accused, Green Jello, and the Obsessed all within this upcoming week. Also, this EP is fucking crazy.

    https://impunitymetal.bandcamp.com/album/restos-mortals

    Bad: Iss gon’ rain a lot in the upcoming week.

    Ugly: see above EP ^^^

  • Al Bvndy

    Good: tunes from Vietah ( cheers Nordling Rites ov Karhu ), Abscission and Lotus Ash, beer from Copper Dragon brewery, Bill O’ Riley getting fired and new episodes of Rick and Morty available to view illegally on Kodi.

    Bad: paying £79.00 + fees per ticket to see Queen & Adam Lambert

    Ugly: Vegan Mac & Cheese

  • Óðinn

    GOOD: Bill O’Reilly was fired from his job as a professional asshole. My contract on this film ends in 10 day (woohoo!). Had a an audition for a regular voiceover role on an animated TV series.

    BAD: Bill O’Reilly is still a relatively wealthy man.

    UGLY: Donald Trump is still President.

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    Good: Finished my previous read with ease and wrote it up to my reasonable satisfaction. I’m tinkering with the idea of blogging my couple of main reading projects at the moment, so getting through and writing about stuff ok is important. Not too far into my new read (Shadow Dance, by Angela Carter) but its shaping up nice so far. Work is going smoothly, we’re ready for the next stage of the big building project so us main staff can get back on filing, cataloguing, enquiries and all that proper library stuff. Presently listening to UK symphonic black metallers Ethereal. Generic, but they got chops enough to do the trick.

    Bad and ugly: The dreadful dreadful Conservative Party looks set to consolidate their power in a snap general election called on Tuesday. And some kind of vicious radioactive orangutan is calling the shots in the States?

    • The Mighty Thorange

      As part of a country that at least has a chance to escape the Tory terror, I really feel bad for you lot down south.

      • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

        Is the SNP and balance of resources capable of supporting Scottish independence? I was pro Union during the referendum the other year, but since Brexit and the likelihood of a long period of Tory rule I suspect independence is the way to go, lest the Westminster grip just grow tighter and tighter…

        • The Mighty Thorange

          Thanks for your support and understanding dude. But to answer your question;
          First of all all, even if we would have a hard time going independent, surely it would be better if we could at least make our own own decisions as our own country that has always voted more left wing than England and has a clear divide on how we think our own countries should be run. The union has clearly failed on this front.
          Second: http://www.scotsman.com/news/politics/shetland-oil-find-could-be-biggest-of-the-century-1-4404215
          I remember the last Independence referendum where Westminster said there was no oil and Scotland could not survive as there was none left. This shows that this was complete shite.
          Third: Even without oil we have excellent trade in Whisky, food products, and we have some of the best fishing waters in northern Europe.
          Third: We have a population of 5 million. If other countries of similar populations like Norway, Sweden, Finland, and Slovakia do well with similar or less resources, then why cant we?
          And lastly: Fuck the Tories.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            That’s excellent news on the oil front. And I agree on your other points, particularly the failure of the union. Plus it seems rather curious that the Tories are now so embracing the upheaval of Brexit as a positive thing for the future while pooh pooing Scottish independence. Almost as if they just want control….

          • The Mighty Thorange

            Yeah. It’s rather baffling isn’t it? If we really are such a drain on your economy then why are they so concerned to have us stay in the union?

  • Óðinn
    • Óðinn

      “You smell so bad, but you fuck so good.” – the girls of porn

      https://youtu.be/4lN0_FD84E4

    • The Mighty Thorange

      Mr Bungle is the fucking shit son!!!

  • CONAN The GATEKEEPER OF METAL
  • CONAN The GATEKEEPER OF METAL
    • Dumpster Lung

      Glad to see you here, dude!

  • KJM, Doom Scientist

    So, my Epiphone G310(on the right) showed up yesterday and it’s a great guitar. It shipped quick without any issues and sounds great. All I had to do was tune up and play. Now I have to get better at actually playing them. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1332a2af51b372bd89dfce763e442c461a1b295bb9d00a2eabf066f055e75e6d.jpg

    • Señor Jefe El Rossover

      HELL YES!!!!!!!!!

      • KJM, Doom Scientist

        Now I have to get the SG Special(on the left) some upgrades. Either EMGs or Gibson P90s and Grover tuners and then I will truly be 100% set.

        • Señor Jefe El Rossover

          Dude, P90s are great pickups! You can get prime Townsend tone with those and a fuzz box. That and a bunch of other fantastic tones, gotta get me some

  • Taylor

    Good: I got a rare chance to sleep in today, so I’m pretty happy
    Bad: coming up in may I have four birthdays (3 milestone ones), a bridal shower, and a wedding to buy presents for.
    Ugly: dropping $800 on broadway tickets