Flush It Friday: Weekend Dad Saves Arbor Day

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It’s Arbor Day. You know what that means; time to drink exactly one glass of wine and hide in a bush on campus while wearing a gorilla costume in order to scare all those sorority ladies and fraternity lads who think planting a single shrub (that the maintenance staff is, honest to goodness, going to dig back up tomorrow and replant properly) as a good deed can wash away an entire semester of debauchery and shame.

Does Arbor Day strike anyone else as a bizarre, hand-wavingly corporate gesture of a holiday? It has the same distinct (and pungent) odor as Christmas in that it incentivizes good deeds (environmental consciousness!) as a one-time thing rather than encouraging a lifestyle of stewardship and care. Sure, there’s some merit to getting a bunch of Thetas and Omegas out of their lodges and drunken stupors into the beaming sunlight in order to use them as cheap labor for a pro-Green end, but how many of those students will drive away from the festivities in smog-spewing diesel trucks and fuel-inefficient sports cars? Quite a few, I reckon. I suppose my beef with Arbor Day isn’t with the day itself but with the pervasive culture around it that treats socially beneficial behavior as a series of annual checkmarks. Oh well. Hopefully, there is far less waste and more nurturing wherever you call home.

Anyway, I dig trees and will do my part by conserving water, sharing rides, walking, and driving a fuel-efficient vehicle. Here’s some green metal to commemorate the occasion.

Good: I had a phone interview on Monday and have another lead for a different career path that may be equally rewarding. Going to apply for that job this weekend. The job hunt was feeling pretty hopeless for a bit, so I’m glad things are turning around.

Bad: Moving across the country in a moving truck is going to suuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Ugly: I had to make a quick trip to Midland for research over the last couple of days. I’m used to eating mostly home-cooked meals at this point in my life, so all of the dining out I do on trips tends to unsettle my stomach quite a bit. In brief, Dubs was painfully gassy last night.

Now’s your chance to dish about your week. Did you get dirt on your Chubbies and polo planting something for Arbor Day? sound off in the comments below, and don’t forget to jam our weekly playlist, the Weekly Wipe!

  • CyberneticOrganism
    • KJM, Drug Honkey

      This is one of the few Rush songs that I just can’t cope with.

      • CONAN Ayatollah of Jack & Cola

        mine is roll the bones but i think we discussed that before. Is it the lyrics in the trees or the music ?

        • KJM, Drug Honkey

          The lyrics, all that Ayn Rand shit.

          • Dumpster Lung

            I always thought it was something along those lines. I mean it seems pretty obvious, especially that bit about the trees being kept equal by “hatchet, axe, and saw.”

            I thought I remembered the band always denying there was any social/political meaning behind the song, which seems unlikely, but maybe they just didn’t want to invite controversy.

            I dunno. I can dig it either way, even if I don’t really
            agree with what it probably means. It’s such a good jam!

          • KJM, Drug Honkey

            It’s also overplayed for me. It was a minor radio hit and I’ve seen them play it a bunch of times.

          • Dumpster Lung

            I was never real crazy about Red Barchetta. Don’t hate it, but I didn’t include it in the big Rush playlist I’ve been jamming for years.

          • KJM, Drug Honkey

            I like it, but it’s way overplayed.

      • Señor Jefe El Rossover

        Please explain!

        • KJM, Drug Honkey

          See answer to Conan.

          • Señor Jefe El Rossover

            Ah!

      • Sid Vicious Promos

        I hate the song Superconductor by them.

        • KJM, Drug Honkey

          That whole album is meh.

    • Howard Dean

      https://i.imgflip.com/1o30tn.jpg

      (I know it’s not the right episode, but this was the only meme generator that would fit all of the text without blocking the pic)

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Have you seen that European tour series?

        • Howard Dean

          Haha, no I haven’t seen it. I honestly haven’t watched TPB in a couple years. I used to binge watch shitty downloaded rips of the episodes back in college. Good times.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            It’s not bad, veers a little close to Jackass territory in some spots.

          • Óðinn

            I think there’s a bunch of episodes on Netflix that I haven’t watched yet. I’ve been slacking. I should get to it.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Most of that new Netflix content is pretty spotty, there’s a lot of overlap with their Swearnet thing.

        • Sir Ukkometso The Based

          I saw them in Fünland in 2015. It was decent!

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Nice!

    • The Tetrachord of Archytas

      I spent a year living with my grandparents and I had a daily routine of waking up to this record every single day. That damn forest

  • tigeraid

    WTF is “Arbor Day?”

  • Señor Jefe El Rossover

    Bravo, good sir. Your intro was eloquent.

  • Howard Dean
  • Joaquin Stick

    Can confirm, moving across the country suuucks. Luckily we were able to do it with a trailer which made things a bit cheaper than renting the truck.

    Good: Made a last minute decision to drive up to Fenway to watch the Cubs play the Sox tonight.
    Bad: Friggin 2 hour drive to Boston
    Ugly: The Bears’ drafting abilities.

    • Elegant Gazing Globe

      you better have left an hour ago to beat traffic broski

      • Joaquin Stick

        Eh, I’m not too worried about it. 84 going that way is usually not terrible. If I miss an inning it’s not the end of the world.

        • Elegant Gazing Globe

          I drove through there last weekend and the toll booths have been removed so that should keep the traffic from slowing down around the 95 and 495 interchanges

    • Enjoy Bahston and Fenway Pahrk man.

  • Hans Copronym

    Good: Greatly enjoying the new Night Demon, and they’re playing here next month.

    Bad: It’s at that venue that dumbassedly cancelled Woe and Ultha recently. I hope no one in Night Demon walked past a Nazi lately.

    Ugly: Part of me saying, “Be an edgelord and put on your Inquisition shirt when you go.”

  • JWG79

    Good:
    – FHIR North Connectathon & the Apps for Health Conference
    – Capri’s Italian Restaurant (in Hamilton)
    – No issues at all with getting from Hamilton to Pearson Int’l and through Pearson’s security to my flight on time (way early in fact)
    – On board Wi-Fi

    Bad:
    – The only reliably-open coffee shops in Hamilton other than some really pricey ones were Tims (no longer an issue though)
    – Somebody busted a seat on the plane on its flight into Pearson (no word whether it was due to tantrum or Big Dude Who Lied About His Weight though) so required maintenance caused a late departure – and that was added to its already late arrival due to a slight weather delay.
    – Early this week I updated to the “Creators Update” version of Windows 10, mostly unintentionally (I left it on and wasn’t around when it asked if I didn’t want to install yet). Since then I’ve been unable to get any kind of streaming video or audio to work, the “store” tab on iTunes won’t load, Bandcamp tunes won’t play or download, YouTube videos only load 33% and won’t play, and sites that require the Flash plugin crash constantly. All of these are related, I just can’t figure out how because it’s not just a Flash issue. If it were I’d have fixed it by now.

    Ugly:
    – The one evening thunderstorm that came out of nowhere, that I got caught in without a raincoat (forecast literally said sunny with almost no chance of rain).

    • Hans Copronym

      Feckin’ Windows shenanigans. Witnessed a friend’s laptop update from 8 to 8.1 before basically saying “lol whoops, I can’t run that shit, I’ma roll back k?” and flushing another half hour on that.

      • JWG79

        In “Home” version it can be sort of done, but the workarounds to update on your schedule require constant vigilance; and only let you do things ‘earlier’ instead of later – though some things can be delayed a few hours by setting an update schedule.

        Mine is one of the ‘pro’ versions, though, so I could technically use the Group Policy Editor…

        I haven’t. I don’t mind auto updates most of the time.

      • Count_Breznak

        Yes, at least not officially.
        There are also a whole lot of other questionable “features”, the savest way is to check all the “no”s at the first installation/update, and activate what you need later (most likely none of them). There’s also some regedit needed for the full protection.
        Runs smooth tho.

  • Bad: I have a mild case of the shits, so I’ve been having to empty out my butt quite regularly today.

    • Elegant Gazing Globe

      Sounds glorious

      • It’s quite the scene in the company bathroom.

        • Grvm Spectre ov Derth

          Boss makes a dollar, you make a dime. That’s why you freckle the bowl on company time.

          • I’m really exceeding my Dookie quota today.

    • Hans Copronym

      Thine Butt Cup Runneth Over

    • ME GORAK™✓ᶜᵃᵛᵉᵐᵃⁿ

      THAT SOUND LIKE NOT BAD BUT LITTLE GOOD & LITTLE UGLY!!!!!!! UNLESS IT HABANERO POOPS!!!!!!! THOSE VERY BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • No spicy foods when you’re booty ain’t right

  • Back Jauer

    Shadow of Intent: Shadow of Intent

    Shadow of Intent: Shadow of Intent

    Shadow of Intent: Shadow of Intent

    • Hans Copronym

      Seems like a case of the Brain Drills.

      • Back Jauer

        Archspire

  • Elegant Gazing Globe

    G: its blast extreme metal with the windows down at stoplights season

    • Back Jauer

      Sure if the weather can decide to stay at 70 degrees instead of dropping to 42 and raining the next day that would be fantastic.

  • Hans Copronym

    Just thought of this song for some reason and jammed it rather loudly. A beast of an opener.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2qLY4KHCYE

  • sweetooth0

    GOOD: Just got notification my Al-Namrood vinyl is shipping even though bandcamp says they don’t ship till May 15th! Going to see ‘Fate of the Furious’ tomorrow cuz we didn’t end up going when it came out due to the Goathammer guys and Jeremy from No Sanctuary Records coming over that afternoon which invariably ended escalating into parting until 6:30am. Got a busy weekend ahead with several art projects on the go.

    BAD: Can’t think of anything in my little world right now.

    UGLY: Me.

  • Lord of Bork

    Good: Got tickets for Suffocation in June at a local venue where I previously saw Cannibal Corpse, should be pretty boss. Also, I will probably never have to move across the country again. I did VA to CO, and I’ll stay here until the mountains are but dust, goddammit.

    Bad: The car’s in the shop, so I can look forward to a heavy wallet pounding in the near future.

    Ugly: A homeless lady offered me sexual favors in exchange for housing over Tinder today. Looking back I really should’ve looked at her pictures closer.

    • sweetooth0

      So are you saying you didn’t go for the hungry homeless handjob Lord of Bork?

      • Óðinn
      • Lord of Bork

        TBF she was more of the couch crasher homeless than bag lady under a bridge homeless. But no, I’m not accepting sexual favors from a stranger who then hangs around my house indefinitely.

    • more beer

      There is not one reason I can think of to move out of Colorado ever.

  • Taylor

    Good: I just found out that my brother will be coming up from Missouri to visit around Labor Day. It’s always a fun time with him around, so I’m quite excited.

    Bad: out of nowhere it started raining last night so my van windows were open and my stuff got soaked

    Ugly: somebody got a hold of my debit card number and was trying to buy dumb shit all this week. Luckily everything except for one small purchase didn’t go through, but they tried to buy around 20 different Dunkin’ Donuts gift cards, pizzas, and Uber rides all with my card number. So that card has been canceled and I am now awaiting a new one.

  • Waynecro

    Good: I’m seeing Superjoint tomorrow night.
    Bad: Work.
    Ugly (but in a good way): The cover of the new Decapitated album.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4bbaf0b2b6f04f5ad0ac6309013ce806cf6cd850286f8f790fb4c87ec28414e6.jpg

    • Back Jauer

      The single is pretty ugly too lol

      • Waynecro

        I wouldn’t kick it out of bed.

        • Back Jauer

          Perhaps not, definitely needs a paper bag over the head though.

          • Waynecro

            That’s some steamy-hot shit, bro. So far, I like the album art more than anything else. It looks like it could be the hands of the dude on Samael’s Ceremony of Opposites.

          • Back Jauer

            Idk I just can’t see myself wanting to listen to this when there are so many infinitely better options.

          • Waynecro

            I certainly don’t deny the existence of myriad better albums; however, I’ll always give new Decapitated albums a shot.

    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      Too bad there’s a 90+ % chance the album is going to suck though.

      • Waynecro

        To me, even the Decapitated albums that “suck” sound good in the gym.

        • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

          The previous one almost sounded like Soulfly. I think everything following Nihility has been rather on the mediocre side.
          Winds is where its at.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voT2fMNYsBo

          • Waynecro

            I mean, yeah, it’s hard to believe this is the same band that released Nihility, but I still dig Decapitated albums for the most part. They have enough redeeming qualities to see use in specific settings; however, I don’t play them all the time like I did with the older albums.

          • Frank can be wrong on occasion. IT’S RARE 😉
            their Carnival album was tite

          • Waynecro

            Dude, totally. That album has some fucking rippers on it.

          • Sir Ukkometso The Based

            But I can’t be wrong. Winds of Creation is their only good album.

          • guess we better listen to this guy, as he only likes 12 metal albums!

          • Sir Ukkometso The Based

            Ya best tell me hwat those 12 are, McNifty

          • Van Halen
            Van Halen II
            Women and Children First
            Fair Warning
            Diver Down
            1984
            …and so on and so forth. you get the joke

          • Sir Ukkometso The Based

            While I thoroughly enjoyed your little jest, I belive it is missing something. I would have loved it if you used other bands than Van Halen. Pantera, Metallica, Slayer, Revocation and so on and so on (sniff) would have been easy weenies for the joke. Variety can fix many things. I will give this a strong 7 out of 10.

  • Good: This was the first year I was able to farm my own ground, with my own equipment, on my own time. Was very gratifying. Guess I can finally say I am a 6th generation farmer. Kinda neat I guess? Yeah!

    The Bad: My poor Grandma finally passed. She was a straight baller. Graduated with her Undergrad in Business in 1954. Was told women would never be accepted in the work force, let along in the business field. Worked at Mead Paper company until she retired. Paving the way. Awesome stuff.

    You all have a great weekend. Have a beer!

    GL

    • Waynecro

      Condolences, GL.

    • Wet W’s Whistle

      Sorry to hear about your grandmother. She sounds like a terrific lady.

    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      My condolences dude.

    • Hans Copronym

      Here’s to a straight baller then. Cheers man.

    • Back Jauer

      Sorry to hear that man, condolences.

    • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

      My condolences man.

    • Señor Jefe El Rossover

      My beer will be in Granny GL’s honor

    • Sid Vicious Promos

      I’m sorry for your loss

  • The Mighty Thorange

    Good: Finished my final performance for my university Celtic folk metal project. Seemed to go well and the sound quality was a lot better than last weeks museum show as this gig was in a proper concert hall. It was cool to put the war paint on for the final time.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/286d4b9b7af76dce5ad495eadb5dbb1a85122d31d9ee50cbb8ff9b3fe15a492a.jpg
    Bad: Just found out earlier today that I have failed my composition module. I was sure that I would pass it but I think it’s because my lecturer is a pretentious cunt who only likes obscure ambient minimalist classical music. He failed my heavy metal song because, “there are too many riffs and the bass is just playing rhythm” WHAT THE FLYING FUCK? Anyway I am going to complain on Monday and if others say my work is shite I will accept that but I really think that it just this one cunt.
    Ugly: Dissertation is due next Friday and I still have 4000 words to write.

  • Sir Ukkometso The Based

    Bad: fucking bullshitass flu has striken me. Can’t fucking sleep because of this bullzhitz. Tähtiportti vinyl still hasn’t been sent.

  • ME GORAK™✓ᶜᵃᵛᵉᵐᵃⁿ
  • Max

    UGLY GOODNESS: Okay, I’m late to the TovH comment party this weekend, but that’s because I’ve been reading something hilarious that those among you not already familiar with will enjoy…

    So there’s a music festival called Fyrefest. It’s a luxury festival held in the Bahamas; each ticket costs over $12000. So it’s a cool music event for the One Percent. 2017 is its inaugural year, and it’s totally gone to shit. First get the full background by reading this:
    http://www.salon.com/2017/04/28/fyre-festival-turns-into-a-real-life-lord-of-the-flies-adaptation-luxury-musical-festival-abruptly-cancelled-after-disastrous-first-day/

    Then go to the Fyrefest Twitter feed and spend all day laughing your ass off:
    https://twitter.com/hashtag/fyrefestival?src=hash

    Don’t thank me; thank late capitalism.

    • that is nuts. i sure would like to meet some of the “instagram babes” that Ja-Rule was using to advertise this thing. not for the painfully obvious reasons, but to see how long of a conversation some could hold. learn how their minds work.

      • more beer

        They will only talk to you if you have lots of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$!

        • I dunno man, I bet if one were to offer a little shmokey-shmoke, you’d get one to open up?

          • more beer

            With these kind of chicks, you have to up your drug game a little more than getting them blazed. You will probably have to break out the coke.

      • Max

        I’m sure they could hold a VERY long conversation – about how pissed off, ripped off, distressed, etc. they felt. In my experience people like that enjoy being listened to a lot more than they enjoy listening.

        • Oh hails yeah, I’d interview the f**k out of a professional model.

    • more beer

      I love seeing the filthy rich suffer!

      • KJM, Drug Honkey

        Not only filthy rich, but gullible with incredibly shitty taste in music.

        • more beer

          That too. But these people seem to be a lot of those really douchey rich kids of instagram. who like to flaunt their wealth, that they didn’t actually earn in everyone’s faces. I think them having to endure such hardships, after 24 hours it will be like cannibal holocaust.

    • KJM, Drug Honkey

      I’ve been following this story all day. Here’s one of many great articles about it.
      http://nymag.com/thecut/2017/04/fyre-festival-exumas-bahamas-disaster.html

      • Max

        Good read. That lady probably could’ve written her article several months ago and then just tweaked it last night to match up to what transpired on the day of the event, in time for publication. If so, I applaud her.

  • Depechemodeisgangsta

    This week has been awesome, busy at work so it went fast, all good in my front, tomorrow I go see Baby Metal and RHCP for 1st time super pump about Peppers, got floor ticket, also got ticket for Daryl & Oates, I’m a sucker for cheesy 80’s music, also this week I was listening to The Beatles and yesterday I found out Sir Paul is coming to Miami and was able to get Tickets for the show today.

  • EsusMoose

    Bad: Two weeks and 110 hours of work later I’m mentally fried.
    Good: I don’t have to work this weekend, but probably will have to.
    Ugly: Snow in April

  • Sid Vicious Promos

    Good: Saw my friend’s band perform yesterday, going to the record store today, the band Manassas

    Bad: The lack of sleep I got last night

    Ugly: the new Adrenaline Mob album cover.

    Underrated: This album
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EL4jgmm9jek&t=170s