Flush It Friday: Watch this guy crush Resident Evil VII

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T.G.I.F. Thank god it’s FlushitFriday.

Awesome Games Done Quick (AGDQ) has been going on all this week. For those unfamiliar, it’s a twice-yearly week-long marathon of obsessive nerds beating video games as quickly as their little thumbs can muster. Folks gather round their computer screens all over the world to watch a guy that knows a video game back and forth slice through it like a hot knife through butter. Everyone has a good time and they all donate money to help fund cancer research. I dig using my second monitor at work to watch gamers completely master old NES games that I could never get past the second level and other dudes just break the shit out of modern titles to get through them in minutes.

The highlight of this AGDQ is definitely this run through of Resident Evil 7 on Madhouse difficulty. Carcinogen, the unfortunately handled streamer, goes on a madcap dash through one of the scariest video games in recent memory. My lady and I quit playing RE7 roughly halfway through the game because it was just too intense, so I really enjoyed watching Carcinogen’s careful explanations of how the game works and his tidbits of Louisiana trivia. I especially enjoyed watching his carefully planned strategies go to absolute shit as he’s forced to think on his toes and get very, very lucky to make it through.

Thank you for your continued support of this online shithole. Your regularly scheduled programming will resume tomorrow.

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  • GoatForest

    I’ll have you know that not everybody from Louisiana is a psychotic cannibal. What? Don’t look at me like that! Everything is edible with the right seasonings.

    • GrumpDumpus
      • GoatForest

        Right up until he wanted the Dixie cup full of lard, I was getting hungry. That was some damn good food being listed before that.

        • GrumpDumpus

          YOU WANT GRAVY ON THAT CELLAR DOOR?

          • GoatForest

            It ain’t food without gravy.

    • I ask people, “would you try human meat if it was an option?” Surprising how many people answer “no” to that question. Or….maybe its surprising that I would say “yes”.

      • GoatForest

        I bet we’re delicious. Like spam. Mmmm.

      • Slimylimey

        Tastes quite like chicken, but a little more gamey. Er..not that I’d know…

      • Howard Dean

        Only if they were raised from birth to be consumed and had been fed a special diet. I imagine the typical human wouldn’t taste that great with all of the drugs/chemicals/questionable lifestyle things people do. A grain fed human bred specifically for its taste and cuts of meat would be nice.

  • nbm02ss

    GOOD: SNES Classic is finally mine courtesy of a friend who lives in a city with Amazon Prime. Also, three day weekend to vegetate and play several of my favorite childhood games.
    BAD: Lack of sleep. Went to an ENT specialist last Friday and my tonsils have to come out; they’re restricting my airway while I’m sleeping, hence my inability to get a good night’s rest.
    UGLY: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FggGQ9QcWI

    • tigeraid

      dat sweet, sweet SNES Classic. Highly recommend the easy hack to open up the emulation and add games.

    • Hans

      Shit man, hope you recover quickly. Tonsillectomies are no fun as a grownup.

      • nbm02ss

        Yeah, the doc that I spoke with said I’d be in a lot of pain for about a week. Certainly not looking forward to that aspect.

  • G: Went out with a bunch of nerds to a nerdy e-sports event in Boston last night. It was a blast and the turnout was way larger and more intense than I thought was possible. Long weekend ahead, going to try to get out of my 4-month writer’s block. Hamferð came out today and it’s sadboi magic!

    B: Things have been aight this week, not much to say here.

    U: When ur Pres calls other countries shitholes. Was that a reference in the last sentence Joe, or just HOLE-LY coincidental?

  • Howard Dean

    Mahfuckin’ zombies again… wait, we’re not using the zed word. Ghouls. I see ghoul people.

    http://www.londonderrynh.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/20140117_Arrest_ROBINSON.jpg

  • Joaquin Stick

    Every year or so I get hooked on watching and reading about speed runs. The Zelda glitches are particularly fascinating. I will have to watch some of these vids.

    G: Probably going to Kuma’s tomorrow. B U R G E R.

    B: Traffic that I have to be in later for a thing I don’t want to do, which is hindering me from something I do want to do.

    U: Most things.

  • Scrimm

    Wasted enough time playing it

  • God

    I have a projector, home theater setup downstairs at my place and when I got RE7, me and the wife would shut off all the lights and play for a few hours each night. my first playthrough lasted about 12 hours. love that game so damn much. the only way I can play scary games is if I can fight back. I can’t play Outlast, Amnesia, etc because I feel so helpless and it stresses me out. but I’ll play the fuck out of RE7, Evil Within, and Deadspace

    • I’m right there with ya, God.

      • God

        it’s just less anxiety inducing if whatever just scared the shit out of me is gonna get a face full of buckshot from the business end of my shotgun

    • We put in like 6 hours one night before our nerves were just completely shot. Haven’t picked it up since.

      • God

        I’d recommend giving it a go again! once you accumulate enough weapons, the only scary thing is the bakers. the molded become trivial. that is until endgame at least…

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

    Good: Ordered myself a shitload of supplements. Going back into straight-up bodybuilding again and IT FEELS GOOD TO BE BACK.

    Bad: decisions I’ve been making for myself on an “emotional” level lately made me repeatedly ask the question whether I’m a complete idiot…and yep, I’m pretty sure I am. Also makes me wonder if I’m destined for a complete life solely consisting of collecting music (so far so good), anabolic steroids, the occasional booze binge, making jail visits to old pals and being a semi-misanthropic asshole.

    Ugly: rage attacks at work.

    Also good: METAL OF COURSE FUCKING OF COURSE

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JexX_YfudwY

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjTWJNhfnDo

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJgGm36icTU

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAxjdZ47hNU

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Kj7cQXB4KM

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjQLqT29aS4

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DhGvv6NCEk

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLXvjWd0TVI

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RiVp0yps7RE

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYNOHRi-b0M

  • picked up this game to go along with my VR headset. OMFG

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Good: Seeing War tomorrow in Albany

    Bad: Fast Eddie Clarke is dead

    Ugly: none

  • This game rules so fuckin hard. The first couple hours of this game are nearly flawless imo.

    G: Started my coding boot camp class this week, things are going pretty well so far. Got an appointment set for my first tattoo!

    B: Pretty much no free time this week because of my class and homework. Girlfriend has been working a ton of extra hours this week so we’ve barely been able to spend time together.

    U: This shitty, freezing, icy weather lately.

  • Good: Published my first book. Thanks to my Toilet dudes & dudettes who’ve already checked it out.

    Bad: …

    Ugly: Formatting books for self publishing.

    • God

      I’m out of the loop, book?

      • Nihil’s Retina. A dark sci-fi novella. Available as an eBook everywhere, free in most cases. In paperback at amazon.
        http://www.amazon.com/author/gsrichter

        • God

          sweet. I’ll check it out

      • Hans

        Figures. You always seem to be busy with banal shit.

        • God

          hey man I got a lot of shit going on ok? omnipotence only gets you so far.

          • Hans

            You’re not gonna bring that little girl’s parents back anyway, might as well kick back and read.

          • God

            not until she prays harder.

    • Scrimm

      The thought of formatting is nightmare inducing. Heard so much.

      • You can pay someone to do it. I can give you tips if you ever need it. Tip #1: Do not try to cut corners with formatting.

        • No sir. I almost got fired for formatting mistakes once. People take it seriously, and rightly so.

        • Scrimm

          Awesome. Got something in the works that’s going to force me back into writing whether I like it or not.

      • I like formatting. Use me as a resource if you want!

    • Hans

      On my second go through in the hope of delivering some sort of critique some day.

      • Just click on the amazon review button and enter this text: DERIVATIVE, CHURLISH & CRASS into the box.

        • Hans

          I only know two of those words, and I don’t read enough to be able to call it derivative. P sure Amazon doesn’t allow one-word reviews. Also I got it on Smash Mouth Words or whatever it’s called.

    • Must reiterate that it’s a seriously fun read, and I normally don’t like sci-fi.

  • JWG

    I cannot understand the appeal of, or in many cases actually deal with, watching other people play games. I just can’t help thinking that entire reason for being was about personal entertainment and challenge. I don’t even like text-based walkthroughs unless I’m absolutely positively stuck.

    I expect this comment to be downvoted to heck because the last time I admitted such a thing (2008) I was literally banned from a forum for not being respectful of modern gamers.

    …it wasn’t even a video games forum.

    • I can’t do what any of these speed runners do. Nor will I ever attempt cuz life is short and I don’t wanna play the same game over and over to get better at it. So it’s fun to watch these guys just fuck up these games.

      • JWG

        I mean, yeah, on that level I get there’s appeal to it.

        I’d be a tad worried that someone who spends that much time perfecting his skill in a game could be an antisocial/anti-feminist/anti-hygiene creeper I’d not want to know personally.

        But apart from that, it does have merit. It’s just not my thing.

    • i have a co-worker who, on every lunch break, pulls out his phone and watches other people play games while he eats.

      • JWG

        One of my coworkers has a teenage son who owns a PS4, but apparently uses it primary as a social networking tool – doesn’t actually play games on it, spends tons of time watching videos on YouTube (and something else the name of which I’ve forgot) watching others play PS4 games. Supposedly, according to Dave (said coworker) his son says that’s not only normal but expected of his peers.

        This is of course highly anecdotal, and probably not indicative of every town or city’s teenage gamer population but, again, here this kid thinks it’s the norm.

      • Howard Dean

        Someone should grab that dude and violently shake him.

    • God

      I only enjoy gameplay videos if the person playing is entertaining. for example, there’s a YouTube channel called Funhaus that does primarily gameplay, but they do comedic commentary and take the piss out of games they play. otherwise, it’s just boring as fuck.

    • SomeGuyDude

      I cannot understand the appeal of, or in many cases actually deal with, listening to other people play music. I just can’t help thinking that its entire reason for being was about personal expression and feelings.

  • Tasmanian Devil

    GOOD: TAZ!!!!

    BAD: METALSUCKS!!!!

    UGLY: TAZZES’S BUMHOLE AFTER TAZ SCRATCH TOO MUCH!!!!

    • MS thought Gorak was spam too 🙁
      We understand.

      • ME GORAK™✓ᶜᵃᵛᵉᵐᵃⁿ

        BUT MESSING WITH MS DUMB-DUMBS IZ >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

        • GrumpDumpus

          THAT MAKES NO SENSE BECAUSE BASICALLY ALL MS COMMENTS ARE INTELLECTUAL SPAM ESPECIALLY MINE

  • Good: Toilet meetup coming next week. Started my own business, kinda. And this history of the Romanov dynasty I’m working on is one of the most brutal things I’ve ever read, which (for the reader) is great.

    Bad: not a whole heck of a lot. Whatever’s shitty will come along when it’s ready.

    Ugly: the inevitable result of pizza for lunch and a whole lot of coffee today. It’s coming, I just know it.

    *revision: did not at first realize the relation between Bad and Ugly above. Hmm.

    • What kind of business. OR IS IT A SECRET?

      • And what kind of meetup?

        • I don’t know if he’s on Disqus- he’s in the Facebook group, and I don’t know if he’s cool with me sharing his name here- but he and his wife are coming out to Denver for a few days next week to, y’know, see what the city has to offer and all that. Fittingly, we’re going to TRVE one of those nights.

      • Super duper secret. I’ll be the next Jeff Bezos, you watch.

        Nah, it’s just formalizing into an LLC the little copyediting/proofreading/research/writing coach thing I’ve been doing the past few years, to a) take advantage of the deduction under the new tax bill, and b) with luck pull in some new clientele and more business.

        • I could use your halp editing my blog entries.

        • Howard Dean

          Were you formally a sole prop? LLC is a pretty advantageous organization for most business owners (especially ones that aren’t looking to raise a ton of capital). Not that copyediting would have a ton of legal liability anyway, but protecting your personal assets is a big deal. Plus it’s nice to have a saleable business entity.

          • I was, yeah, and like you said it will hopefully increase marketability. I didn’t care too much about those sorts of matters before I started working in finance, but now that I’m steeped in this shit 9-5, might as well apply elsewhere what’s been learned.

  • Hans

    AGDQ is cool. Don’t have a second screen anymore though 🙁

    Good: Just got back from a show at the shittier of the two squats (that I know of) in my neighborhood. I saw a crust band, an OSDM band, and a Powdered Toast Man back patch on some dude’s vest.

    Bad: Oh, plenty, I’m sure.
    Ugly: Even more, I’m sure.

    • GrumpDumpus

      I THINK THE FINEST BACK PATCH I EVER SAW WAS A ‘MANOS HANDS OF FATE’ MOVIE BACKPATCH

  • JWG

    Anyway…

    Good: over the last week I got my CD from Master Sword, and a big box from another Metal Kickstarter for Anna Fiori: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/annafiorimx/anna-fiori-nuevo-disco-preventa-oficial

    – 3 CDs, a whole mess of promo cards, a t-shirt, a metal keychain (silly but I happen to need a new keychain since my last one broke) and a hand-printed thankyou note. Most of that I wasn’t even expecting so it’s definitely going in the ‘Good’ column even though I have yet to even listen to the CDs to be sure. If I find time I might write something about the experience and review the contents and submit it (here).

    Granted it’s a little outside the kind of metal posted by most of the writers/editors at TovH. Though it has some overlap with things Link posts though: one of the CDs is definitely Power Metal going by what little I’ve listened to so far. Not too far removed from Master Sword’s style in fact.

    I ordered a sweet new-to-me-but-actually-quite-old Winterfylleth t-shirt from Atlantean Merch USA about a week ago. It just arrived today. I was worried because I had to settle for a size smaller than I usually buy to overcompensate for having a long torso, but it fits very well – I think it might almost be a [size redacted]-“Tall” and I really like that its neck isn’t so wide as the size-larger ones I normally have to get. Plus, it’s a Gildan (Heavy) so it’s sure to last for ages, based on how many Gildan shirts I bought years ago are still in my closet looking none worse for wear (other than laundry-based discolouration) than they did when I got them originally.

    I bought it for its medievalist connection moreso than for the band, which I’ve only just started listening to recently: there’s a magna carta quote on the back. That said, if they are a ‘problematic’ Black Metal band, I’d love to know now so I can repeat this as my rationale only.

    Dumb: Trump’s Bully approach to ‘negotiating’ NAFTA. Not that I don’t think we could do without it entirely and actually always should have. I’m not generally a proponent of Trade Agreements made with countries that enter ‘Agreements’ in bad faith in the first place, unlike the Canada-EU CETA that’s rolling out now which at least seems to have been designed for actual mutual benefit.

    Ugly: Nah.

  • GrungierNine0

    It’s Friday, which means Friday Night Battlefield, which means another night playing Sniper cuz I have no friends (or rather friends who have Battlefield 1).

  • Slimylimey

    Good: going to see a bunch of local bands and drink too much beer tomorrow (not necessarily in that order).

    Bad: wondering if I have made the right career choice – 25 years after the fact.

    Ugly: this is the second video game-centric FIF in a row! And I am still waiting for someone to tell me what a fucking Yoshi is!

    • GrumpDumpus

      IT’S A PET DINOSAUR YOU RIDE AROUND AND YOU CAN TELL IT TO EAT STUFF THAT YOU WANT TO GO AWAY