Flush It Friday: The Miscellaneous Grievances Edition

It is Friday, my doobs. Flushing must commence. I have nothing substantial to bitch about, but the Toilet Gods demand bitching, so bitching they shall get. Let the petty woes of this curmudgeonly toiletist be flushed.

1. There is pain in my foot. At all times. Could it be plantar’s fasciitis? A bone spur? I’m not a doctor, and my pathological aversion to doctors and medical facilities prevents me from seeking answers or treatment, so who knows? What I do know is that walking is kind of a bitch now, to say nothing of spending 80% of every workday on my feet.

2. I have a new partner at work, which means CHANGE, which is something I abhor. Even worse–I am expected to train the fucker. I detest telling people what to do, and detest repeating myself even more. To top it all off, he is as stoic and monosyllabic as I, possibly more so, which makes the hours we must spend together in the cab of the truck a total fucking hoot.

3. Our landlords are raising our rent. Inevitable? Yes. Still, fuck you landlords. Right in the face.

I am visiting New England this month for the first time in 7 years. I am going to look at foliage n’ shit and breath deep of the brisk October air and it shall be glorious, GLORIOUS.


Our cats have been vomiting a lot lately. Each of them spews chunks at least once a week for no apparent reason. Cleaning up cat puke makes me want to human puke. But if I do you can bet your ass the fuckin cats aren’t going to clean it up. How is this fair?

And since none of the above really matters, let’s get to the Metal. Here’s something for the season:

The Toilet hungers. Feed it your pain. Then make yourself feel better by talking about all the pizza/beer/video games in which you are going to indulge this weekend. (And please send our beloved Lizard Overlord all your most positive pornographic thoughts.)

(Photos via, via)

Written by:

Published on: October 7, 2016

Filled Under: Open Swim

Views: 629

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  • Elegant Gazing Globe

    You got gout bro

    • Elegant Gazing Globe


    • Abradolf Lincler


  • Elegant Gazing Globe

    PS keep it at or above the speed limit you leaf peeping tourist fuck

    • I ain’t no fuckin tourist. I grew up in New England. I know how to peep the foliage at upwards of 75mph–while blasting black fuckin metal.

  • Joaquin Stick

    Good (sorta): Today begins the hopefully many days of me being stressed watching the Cubs in the playoffs.
    Bad (sorta): New Meshuggah is kinda boring. A few points I like a whole lot, but mostly nothing better than Koloss.
    Ugly (sorta): I’m out of beer, and all the liquor stores in my area are a wee bit shady-as-fuck and don’t carry anything interesting. Might have to go a few towns over to restock.

    • Guacamole Jim
      • Joaquin Stick

        I could just not be in the mood for it. That happens a lot.

    • Waynecro

      I agree with you about the new Meshuggah album. I haven’t been really jazzed about Meshuggah since Obzen. I played the new album in the gym last night. It was OK, but I kept wanting to listen to “Stengah” or “Electric Red” or “Concatenation” instead.

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        In terms of full length Meshuggah albums, I prefer DEI, Chaosphere and Catch 33 above any of their other work. Obzen and Nothing are good as well though.
        Last two albums, Koloss and the newest one, have been a bit “one ear in, out the other”. Little replay value.

        • Waynecro

          Chaosphere is awesome. That shit blew my mind when I was 15.

    • Guac Jim yelling bad things at me because this new Meshuggah is the worst thing of my week.


    • Elegant Gazing Globe

      DUDE let me help you with your UGLY -http://www.crazybruces.com/page/west-hartford

      • Joaquin Stick

        I love that place! It’s a bit of a drive but worth it every time.

        • Joaquin Stick

          Although I should mention that it’s not that far away, but this state HAS NO SIMPLE FUCKING ROADS THAT GO TO WHERE I WANT TO GO, EVER. Seriously need a GPS to go 2 miles here. I miss the grid system.

    • Owlswald

      Definitely like the new Meshuggah better than Koloss, starting with the fact that they actually played it live this time around and got rid of the drum programming business. I’m about to spin the new Candiria as well which I’m also pretty excited about.

      • Guacamole Jim

        Koloss didn’t have programmed drums..

    • My World Series prediction is Cubs vs Indians – Cubs in five. I think they are going to do it this year, they are too good, if they can get through the Giants, they could potentially cruise to a title.

      • Owlswald

        After the first two games, I have a feeling the Jays are going to rake through October and be the team to beat.

        • They made two Texas aces look like a pair of junk ballers so they are in good shape right now.

      • Joaquin Stick

        I’d be ok with that. Indians lookin’ good so far tonight!

        • Laying the smack down on Roidtiz.

    • Jack Rabbit

      I only listened to the new Meshuggah once so far so I can’t really judge it, but Clockworks is a killer opener.

  • tigeraid

    Richter pls! So negative!

    Srsly tho, get better. I couldn’t imagine dealing with severe foot pain now that I enjoy this crazy shit called “walking.”

    The Good: FOUR DAY WEEKEND BITCHEEEEEEEEEES. Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend (aka The Real Thanksgiving.)

    The Bad: Richter’s gout, obv.

    The Ugly: Hurricanes and shit. Stay safe East coast-bros.

    • JWEG

      I feel a bit bad for American relatives, friends and acquaintances, who now have to endure family members who are fans of “whichever” Presidential Candidate is about to lose (yugely) still moaning and arguing when they should be Giving Thanks with the rest of the family.

      Another reason to prefer our (properly) earlier one.

      • tigeraid

        Is discussing politics around the dinner table a uniquely American thing? I can’t recall us ever doing it much during the holidays here… I mean my Dad occasionally spews unfunny gray-area-racist comments, but that’s about as far as it goes.

        • JWEG

          My evidence is all anecdotal, but I suspect it’s true. My Father is still very much inclined to obsess at dinner angrily over American politics despite having left there in the late 60’s.

          Recently, when a friend of his from his early college years (William & Mary) came to visit, though they hadn’t seen each other in just under 50 years both almost immediately rediscovered a shared political viewpoint. Of current politics, not of the one they had half a century ago. And it wasn’t even him who planted the seed for their dinner conversation to go political. It was our visitor from Virginia.

        • Taylor

          My family only discusses politics drunk around a fire, the way it’s meant to be discussed.
          Haha, for real though, we try to talk about anything other than social issues and politics when eating dinner; vastly different viewpoints make for an interesting time.

    • It’s not fuckin gout.
      Because if it is I’m coming up there to grimace at you until you cry so hard you die of dehydration.

      • tigeraid

        Hmm. The cold of our frozen tundra might numb the pain.

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    I got nothing. Have a terrible weekend.

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      you too dirtbag.

    • God

      And a terrible weekend to you as well my friend

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

    Seeig the faces at the Toilet again!
    Niece born yesterday.
    Solid benchpressing progress again after months of stagnation.
    Getting shitfaced tomorrow.


    Most people.

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      Congratulations Uncle Frank! It is good to see you back around as well!

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY


      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        Oh btw, I’ve actually been enjoying this album:


        • Abradolf Lincler

          pfff like thats hard to do

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Yeah, but I’ve never been much of a power metal fan save for the old school 80’s stuff like Manilla Road, Jag Panzer or Riot. This is the Blind Guardian album I got into the most. It’s great.
            Lately I’ve been enjoying a lot of stuff I used to be skeptical towards.


          • Abradolf Lincler

            i still dig both old and new Ensiferum.

            if youre feeling the Hansi, you might as well go balls out for the real deal:

            …man im jamming this in the gym later

          • Kevin Nash’s Jackknife

            I love this album!

          • Love this band.

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            ENSIFERUM TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

        • YES.

        • Señor Jefe El Rosa

          FRANK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!THIS ALBUM IS SO GOOD!!!!!
          This just made my night!!!

  • Guacamole Jim

    BAD: In order to be able to drive again, I’ve been subjected to months of government bureaucracy and fines – none of which I was told about when I was convicted. Each time I thought I was getting closer to being able to drive again, I’d learn something new that would set me back. And the hidden fees in everything don’t help (right down to paying $90 to get a piece of paper that could have been downloaded from the internet).

    GOOD: I’m finally at the end. I just did my road test and passed. Tuesday is the final step in the process, and then I’m once again allowed to drive!!

    UGLY: It snowed here yesterday 🙁

  • Abradolf Lincler

    Good: just got a pair of combat boots from military surplus on the way home. dropped close to 20lbs now. thinner than ive been in quite a while and seeing my arms and shoulders bulge my shirts again is awesome. have made serious progress on my battle vest and decided on a different back patch thats on the way.

    bad: patches seem to be stuck in the mail somehow, despite being mailed first class ON MONDAY

    ugly: some relationship issues but they seem to be turning around.

    hardcore: blasted this during workout last night after we talked about it:


  • This weekend is going to entail some serious pizza gobbling bulking, compound lifting, attempting to write Thing #2 for the blog, and maybe watch a horror movie or two, because tis the season.

  • God

    Good: starting Keto pretty soon. Going to shed the pounds before my son is born. Need to lose 40 so I think that’s realistic in a 5 month period.

    Bad: almost nightly panic attacks have made it nearly a necessity have Xanax on me almost every evening. Starting Paxil again even though I hate the side effects.

    The ugly: a good ugly though, the new MESHUGGAH!!!!

    • Sir Crawfish The Based

      Meshuggah, more like Mehchuggah!

      • God

        Awwwww you make me sad little crustacean

  • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

    To: Richter
    From: A fellow sufferer
    Pro Tip: Go to podiatrist, get orthotic inserts for your shoes. (Not Dr Schoals)

    Free your self now!

    • To: TDovTKR
      From: RCHTR
      Message: I’ll do it, but only because you command it.

      • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

        I know your pain brother! I only offer my humble service to free you from your chains. They are worth every penny!

      • more beer

        That man is wise beyond his years.

    • Óðinn

      I used to be a podiatrist, but now I’m an optimist.

  • Taylor

    Good: I saw cattle decapitation and brujeria on Tuesday then alestorm and nekrogiblikon last night. Super fun both times.

    Bad: Dick Dickless, the crowd killing Boy Wonder, took it upon himself to hit my (already hesitant to attend shows) friend in the face twice during brujeria . She loved that.

    Ugly: Dick Dickless, the crowd killing Boy Wonder.

    • Waynecro


    • I think the Brujeria tour is coming my way Monday, but sadly I will not be able to attend because grown ass man stuff. When there’s idiots running around hitting people at shows that def kills the vibe. I try to hang at the bar if there is one.

      • more beer

        That tour is in Denver on Sunday. I am not sure that would be logistically sensible. I am seeing Brujeria next Friday in California with Agoraphobic Nosebleed. So I am going to pass on the show here. I have seen Cattle Decap enough times that it doesn’t matter to me if I see them again.

        • It may have already passed. Going to the see the Dillinger farewell tour next weekend in NYC so that’s all that matters to me.

          • more beer

            Right on. I will be at CDF next week. 3 days of metal friends I haven’t seen in a while and good beer.

          • Cheers man! Sounds like a blast

          • more beer

            Thanks man. Enjoy DEP.

      • Taylor

        We went there to make sure she was okay. Unfortunately we are too young for much bar related fun

    • Please tell me you or someone else laid out Dick Dickless on his ass.

      • Taylor

        I’m pretty sure he got escorted out shortly after

  • Señor Jefe El Rosa

    Good: going to a town festival tomorrow. Cool part is that the town brews a beer once a year for the festival and it is the only time and place you can get it. My parents and brother are driving up to go with my wife and I, so you know, family and stuff. Also good LUKE CAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Watch it.

    More good: The toilet has been doing great, everyone here has been participating in excellent discussions. It is nice to see.

    Metal: gonna go with some old classic riffs, if you don’t mind


    • I’m interested in Luke Cage, the Wu heavy soundtrack caught my attention.

      • Señor Jefe El Rosa

        WATCH IT! You will not regret it. Once you get to episode 3, talk to me.

        • I tried last night at two in the morning and passed out so obviously I don’t remember anything. Will try again before midnight some other time with less craft beers taking me down.

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            Hahahha! I hope you had a good time getting to that point!

          • Sure did!

    • Taylor

      That’s so cool, the beer really makes it a special event to go to.

      • Señor Jefe El Rosa

        Yes, I’m looking forward to it.

  • J.R.™

    I wanted to to go to Florida for a wonderful “Disney: Part Two” vacay with Lady JR. So that didn’t happen.

    Went up to Nashville I stead for the day. Perfect weather. Fun little day trip.

    Driving out to visit extended family in Georgia now. Could be running away from Micky Mouse but whatever. Flush on

  • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

    BAD: Had fever rise on Monday, still hasn’t let go.
    BADBADNOTGOOD: Today I found myself on a surgeon’s operating table.
    UGLY: An operated bear


      What happened with your health? What did you have to end in surgery?

      • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

        Years of not giving a crap finally caught up. Building sickness leading to another leading to another etc

        Needed to have some lumps of negative energy removed from me

        • Awesome, bro! I’m glad you start a new healthy phase with this.

          My best of wishes to you.

          I will send to you some mana shots. They are mixed with a little of vodka, no worries.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            Link, you know me better than that.
            I had a surgery so I wouldn’t need to start a “new healthy phase”.
            But I thank you for the Mana Shots. And rhe vodka too I guess.
            Your buddy, Bear.

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      Karhu, what the heck dude! I hope everything is alright my man

      • No worries. He has some natural resistance to some disease. He is restoring his bearnergies by doing a little hibernation process.

    • Damn man, feel better.

    • Pls get better ursine Finn 🙁

  • JWEG


    – Theatrical release dates for The Chair: http://www.thechairhorror.com

    – My Atomic Cotton t-shirt order arrived

    – Shirtkiller “Conan” shirt is on its way too

    – Finally ‘gave back’ to #MetalBandcampGiftClub more than just one rare instance every few aeons, so I’m briefly not just freeloading on the hashtag

    – Still nice weather. Haven’t had to put my shorts away yet, even though the leaves are all orange. It looks like Fall. Just doesn’t feel like it yet.

    – Ongoing food allergy woes
    – Laziness
    – Politics
    – Meme (mis)appropriation
    – Weather elsewhere. Some parts way more than others, obviously.

    – See: politics, above.


  • Waynecro

    Good: Early access to Gears of War 4 tonight.
    Bad: I’m not playing Gears of War 4 right now.
    Ugly: I feel like total garbage, I keep almost passing out, and my blood-sugar levels are all over the place. I think I’ve been pushing myself too hard in the gym lately, so, despite my desire to believe that overtraining is a myth, I’m going to skip workouts this weekend. CURSE MY STUPID HUMAN WEAKNESS!!!

    • Know your limits and work like the best, my friend.

      • Waynecro

        Thanks, dude. I’ve always had difficulty recognizing and accepting my limits. I’m working on it.

    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      When you say Gears of War, for some reason you make me think of Warhammer. And when I think of Warhammer, I think of Realm of Chaos!!!!


      • I sometimes woke up in the middle of the night thinking in these elephant marching riffs.

        Then I continue to sleep happy because it’s the Bolt Thrower piece of heart in me that’s beating.

        • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

          That riff at 2:38 is demented as fuck in an almost alien way. It resembles the sound of “something”, but I can’t really find what that “something” might be.

      • tigeraid

        Always upvote Bolt Thrower.

    • Abradolf Lincler

      nah, gotta have them recovery days once in a while bro

      • Waynecro

        I hate to accept that, but it’s the truth. I’ve been pushing like a crazy person six days a week for months now, and I just upped the intensity/difficulty of my routine again. I often forget/refuse to accept that I’m an insulin-dependent diabetic with a barely functional pancreas.

    • You getting enough calories and sleep? I tend to feel like dog ass if I get less than 7 or 8 hours after working out.

      • Waynecro

        I usually get six or seven hours of sleep, which should be OK. My calorie intake is really low, but it should be just enough. When I had to get back on insulin, I gained, like, 50 pounds almost immediately despite a clean diet. I started cutting calories until the weight gain stopped to arrive at my daily caloric intake. I think stress is the primary culprit. Stress fucks me all up and makes my blood-sugar levels and blood pressure go nuts. I think the stress, in combination with months of increasingly strenuous workouts six days a week, just caught up to me.

        • Shit man, please get some rest or something, unwind this weekend. Somehow.

          • Waynecro

            Thanks. I won’t be working out, though I do need to dig up the backyard to fix a sprinkler.

          • that doesnt sound low stress at all

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

    Also, been on a bit of an Esoteric binge lately.


  • These weeks have been crazy at work and my overall life. But, in resume, all changes are leading to new adventures.

    Fear not, my fellow dungeon crawlers, I’m still here for the fight and the wind is moving towards new horizons in which I will be conquering arcane knowledge and finding new treasures.

    Hail, brothers and sisters of the extreme music.


    • Señor Jefe El Rosa


  • Good: Did not work today, so three day weekend
    Gooder: Got a free burrito with my dinner order because they f’d up
    Best: I’ve been looking for this beer forever because it is got damn delicious. I’ve only had it once before and haven’t seen it since so I bought two six packs.

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      That looks really good!!!!

  • Dave Vincent’s Perm

    Good: Martial Barrage, holy fucking shit
    Ugly: realising I have the same haircut as the moron from Vital Remains

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm

      Also good: came up with a siqq idea for the back of my battle jacket

      • Count_Breznak

        A Vital Remains patch ?

        • Dave Vincent’s Perm

          Yeah, a patch with a picture of Brian Werner’s Undercut

  • Kevin Nash’s Jackknife

    Good: got paid

    Bad: my social life

    Ugly: my love life

  • The Tetrachord of Archytas

    Good/bad: I’m seeing thrice tomorrow night. I’m not really ashamed to admit that I’m a fan or nothing, it’s just that I bought tickets for LA months ago and THEN they decide to announce not one but two dates in their hometown, which is my hometown, and at a venue that is minutes from my house with no terrible la traffic.

    Ugly: coulda gone to frost and fire instead

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      You should’ve picked FROST AND FIRE in the first place!

      • The Tetrachord of Archytas

        I knowwwwwwwwwww…..but I didn’t know I had that choice initially

        • Señor Jefe El Rosa

          I will forgive you, this once!

  • mother☆shabubu

    Joe – my cat has recently been puking due to his excitement when I get home and feed him. Best bet is to feed them half, wait about 20 minutes, then the other half. Otherwise they inhale, run around all excited, then vomit.

    • Abradolf Lincler

      the two cats get half a can twice a day (1 can per day split) and have dry food available all day. otherwise big fuzz would do this no doubt

  • Pentagram Sam

    Haven’t done one of these in a while but:

    fuckin good Signed lease for apt in Austin, moving Nov 10, offa Riverside. So incredibly stoked to get back and have a date implanted upon my ass. Can’t wait to jam, enjoy the sights and smells and sounds once again, and get to seeing sweet ass fucking shows. Hell, the pad is practically right up The Backroom / new Emo’s azz.

    Bad: Cost of deposits and whatnot plus, gonna have to hustle my balls to the wall on arrival cos can’t directly transfer w my job. Soooo, gonna apply for a shitload of delivery jobs (P hut, Dominos, Chinese food, etc) plus the Favor, Post Mates, and Instacart. Plan is to have interviews lined up when I get there and then get a full time delivery and do Instacart or something similar on off days.

    Ugly: Having to hold off on good ass cds. Had to cancel a Demolition Hammer plus Ghost order cos need to fucking SAVE and next order of goods is gonna have to be strings n picks. Next time, next time.

  • Mr. Bojangles

    Call me up when you’re in New England, I’ll start collecting dead pigeons.

    ~~** Mr. Bojangles **~~