Flush it Friday: The Joys of Life

Welcome back, worthy comrades; welcome to another edition of our long running tradition, Flush it Friday. On this hallowed day we gather together in the gleaming bowl to air our grievances, share our triumphs, and generally post witty quips (pronounced: “gifs” [pronounced: “gifs”]).

Rather than keep with our usual structure (see above), I’m changing things up this week. “Change?” you cry incredulously. “The last person who promised change was that muslim Obummer!” Ah, fair follower of the porcelain way, fret not. I, unlike Obama, promise change you can believe in.

change

THE BAD: I’ve got a lot of things I need to take care of in the next few weeks, and I’m not sure how I’m going to have the time or money to be able to get them all done. I may have bitten off more than I can chew, and now that it’s crunch time, I’m unsure I’m going to have the resources to get everything finished. I need to pay rent, fly to La Paz to renew my passport, apply for a residency, and make a vehicle payment.

THE UGLY: This is probably going to total me around $3500 USD. With the current exchange rate, that means about $4500 CAD, which is quite a bit over what I make in a month, and my meagre savings aren’t going to be able to cover the balance. What’s uglier than financial woes?

THE GOOD: Despite all this, I’ve had a pretty stellar day/week/month/year. I’ve done things and been to places I never would have dreamed of five years ago. In the past year or so I’ve made some amazing new friends, both in person, and with many of you fine folks here on the blog ov hell (shoutout to my great comrades in arms in both Dork League and Group Message for Weirdos). I’ve had a chance, more recently, to sit down and discover new music. Even better, I’ve had the time to devote to this new music, to properly dissect it. Speaking specifically, it’s a beautiful day out – the sun is shining, the birds are singing, the palm trees are swaying in the breeze. I had one of the most amazing suppers I’ve ever had last night at a hole-in-the-wall Italian place (run by a quirky Italian chef who makes his own cheese and strawberry liqueur), and spent the entire evening laughing and joking with some of my best friends. Speaking generally, while this last year has been rough in a lot of ways, it’s taught me a lot about myself, about my faith, and about the things that are truly important in life: mainly, music, friends, and good food. And while the things that are important to you do not, in any way, have to line up with mine, I want to encourage you to remember that life is most excellent. I know I’m getting dangerously close to sounding like a “Live Love Laugh” type motivational poster, so I’ll stop here, leaving you with my favourite summertime jam. In the immortal words of Mahatma Gandhi: “Be excellent to each other.”


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Published on: April 1, 2016

Filled Under: Open Swim

Views: 1385

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  • Dubs

    Good: Got two journal papers submitted this week (one lead author, one co-author) and just found out today that a manuscript I submitted was accepted for presentation in DC in September.
    Bad: Wife is on a med school survival camping trip or something, so I’m bacheloring it up this weekend.
    Ugly: Although I enjoy cooking, cooking for one person is a major drag, so I’m going to be eating bachelor chow all weekend. So the ugly is my poops, probably.

    http://theinfosphere.org/images/9/93/Bachelor_Chow_Bag.png

    • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

      Fascinating : Dubs wrote this comment an hour ago

      • EsusMoose

        Guess he’s too good to start writing when we all start

      • Salvador Dalí Lama

        It was actually 59 minutes ago. APRIL FO0LZ

        • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

          Aw damn.

    • COAL ROLL

      Pictured: W the Diplomacy king 8PM Friday Night

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        It’s nice to see how bad dubs let himself go.

        • Dubs

          That’s not an inaccurate amount of shoulder hair.

    • Salvador Dalí Lama

      Did you hear about the last Futurama movie coming out this summer?

    • Your Bad is Good!

    • JWEG

      One of these days I’ll probably get a journal or conference article out of my Thesis. I suppose I could do just that with my extra Term, and take advantage of having two potential co-authors (from my committee) with higher academic credentials.

      I’m trying to avoid the publish-or-perish type of Academic position as long as I possibly can. Being a Lab coordinator only works for me. For now.

      • Dubs

        I’m a research associate/adjunct professor, so it’s pretty critical to my upward mobility unless I land a job at a teaching-oriented university, which, if the pay/benefits are alright and it’s a full-time position, would be fine with me. I enjoy teaching more than research anyway.

    • Óðinn

      Congratulations regarding the journals and manuscript, W.

      Sorry to hear about your impending stinky feces.

      • Dubs

        Thanks, man. Hoping to get two more out next week.

    • megachiles

      Congrats on the manuscript, dawg!

      A buddy and I have discussed starting a hipster bachelor food themed restaurant.

      It’d basically be stuff like cereal on a plate, couscous and mustard, and deli ham on spaghetti, except we’d make it all $20 small plates, use only the most local of mustards n’ stuff, and serve microbrews in mismatched coffee mugs.

  • Sir Tapir The Based

    G00d: new Moonsorrow and Tähtiportti
    No bad, no ugly
    Olen herännyt

    • Spear

      No bad? No ugly?
      Are you feeling okay?

      • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

        He has me worried.

      • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

        He’s A Finn, furthermore A Tapir. He’s never feeling okay.

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      Jos löydän kaksi yllätystä samana päivänä palkitsen itseni oikeaoppisella daiquirilla.

      • Sir Tapir The Based

        That song made me giggle like a little kid.

      • YourLogicIsFlushed

        Translation: You loitering khaki yellow oyster some banana, pie is nirvana in Pakistan, it is an Ikea shopper’s daiquiri.

        • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

          Ummm… Correctamundo?

          • YourLogicIsFlushed

            I do translation like a bad lip reading.

  • Good: Wrestlemania
    Bad: Wrestlemania
    Ugly: Wrestlemania fans

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      NXT Takeover is also on tonight. I’m much more excited for that than Wrestlemania. The two matches I want to see at mania are Shane/Taker and Ambrose/Lesnar and I’m sadly missing the US title match and the Dudleys match because I work and they’re on the Kickoff show.

  • EsusMoose

    Good: Annihilated the average score on a class I’m not doing too well in so that’s bueno. Hopefully get our toilet diplomacy speed game up and going. Viva la _____
    Bad: Been raining and dreary and therefore have been very tired. Leg and foot still hurt from falling.
    Ugly: My meals over the last few days, shitty wings, pizza, pizza, energy bar, shitty wings and probably gonna be pizza later

  • nbm02ss

    Good: Yay, Friday!
    Bad: Impending storm will almost certainly mean another weekend trapped inside.
    Ugly: Cabin fever.

    • “Cabin Fever” (Eli Roth, 2002) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        PANCAKES!!!! PANCAKES!!!!

        • the special features regarding that scene is where i discovered my favorite band, Electric Six

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            That hillbilly version of “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot” at the end of the movie used to crack me up.

  • Available only for today for “Name Your Price”. CD’s and Cassettes available very soon.

    https://scabgore.bandcamp.com/

    • sweetooth0

      It rips, if you do end up making tapes, sign my crusty ass up for one.

      • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

        Make that 2

    • more beer

      I’m listening to it now very good.

    • COAL ROLL

      I count at least 4 of us here

    • This sounds super tight Tyree.

    • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

      CDs and cassettes? Getting fancy.

    • Stanley

      That drum tone!

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

    Good: I saved myself from going to a techno fest tonight. Why do people still invite me to that shit?
    Bad: More than a month has passed and some company still owes me 3 CD’s. A strongly worded conversation will be sure to ensue.
    Ugly: Middle-aged overweight mothers practicing Zumba at my gym today.

    • COAL ROLL

      you must have bought CD’s from Witching hour

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        I just bought them from a music retail site.

        Katatonia – Brave Murder Day
        Converge – All We Love We Leave Behind
        The Ocean – Pelagial

        Hardly obscure albums.

    • more beer

      Did the people inviting you to the techno fest not offer you a handful of assorted drugs? That would be the only way I would even consider doing that.

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        Most of them have some “yayo” on them, but I’ve been completely sober for quite a while now. Trying to keep it that way. Though the temptation is always there somewhere lurking in the background.

        • more beer

          Not exactly the party drug you want for that. Especially if you are trying to stay sober.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Yeah, but others (such as xtc) are becoming risky business over here. A lot of zero quality xtc has been making the rounds. Recently people have been ending up in hospitals after taking that shit.

          • more beer

            That kind of shit sucks. I have had a good source for a lot of years. I don’t even fuck with anything that doesn’t come from there.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            A lot of amateurs have been setting up small labs to create all kinds of synthetic shit themselves, which of course gets distributed locally. Most of the time they barely know what they’re doing. The results are…not too good apparently.

          • more beer

            Youtube videos don’t make anyone a chemist. I wouldn’t fuck with any of that either.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            It’s amazing how widespread that stuff is over here in the West. I think most people over here know at least someone who can hook you up.
            I recently talked to a Chinese girl and when she started asking about what we used to do back in high school over here, one of the things I said was that I used to smoke grass back then (a thing which kinda is semi-accepted over here). She was fucking shocked…

          • more beer

            It is widespread everywhere. If not one drug than another. She should come here she would have a stroke. I get buyer rewards at the weed store. They gave me a free 100 mg thc soda the other day a free gram of sugar wax there today. Marijuana culture is in full effect here.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            In Belgium there isn’t a real marijuana culture, but luckily the Netherlands is only a stone’s throw away from where I live. Visiting those “coffeeshops” back in the day…good times.

          • more beer

            I visited the coffee shops in the early 80’s when I was there. It is huge here. A lot of the bars don’t bother you for smoking outside. None of the clubs do. They have been reluctant to have the Amsterdam type coffee shops here. But I think that is going to come in the not to distant future.

          • Waynecro

            Someone at the Coheed and Cambria concert I just went to was smoking weed that smelled like a pile of buttholes in a bonfire. I don’t know whether such an awful smell is indicative of really good weed or really bad weed.

          • more beer

            I am going to go with bad. But I like the smell of weed. That’s weird I have never seen bad weed in the part of California you are in.

          • Waynecro

            I dislike the smell of weed in general, but this shit was worse than anything I’ve ever smelled. Maybe the guy forgot to put it in a bag when he butt smuggled it into the show or something.

          • Rob M

            Ive got no problem with people using it, but yeah…my own personal opinion, it almost always smells like ass to me

          • Waynecro

            Totally. I think the smell was always a deterrent for me.

          • Dubs

            The smell is definitely one of the reasons I don’t.

          • more beer

            Now with all of the edibles you don’t have to smoke it.

          • Rob M

            Agreed…if Im getting fucked up, Id much rather do it with alcohol than have to deal with that smell

          • Waynecro

            Alcohol will always be my preference, even though I can’t drink it anymore.

          • Rob M

            Dude..that sucks

            I plan to drink double now, for those who cant

          • Waynecro

            I appreciate your sacrifice.

          • Rob M

            What can I say…Im a giver

          • more beer

            I have never had to keister my weed to bring it into a show. Usually having it in your pocket will suffice. If that was the case those guys are doing it wrong.

          • Waynecro

            Perhaps people put weed in their butts just for fun in San Francisco.

          • more beer

            Perhaps!

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            If the weed culture is already that huge, I don’t think there’s any real practical need for the Amsterdam type coffeeships. Though those Dutch coffeeships do offer a good environment to chill out.

          • more beer

            But there is. More as a social thing a public place to meet and be able to smoke. Even if it is BYOB. Just because places allow it now they really are not supposed to. It is against the law to smoke in public here still. It is kind of stupid. But it is the law.

  • YourLogicIsFlushed

    Good: As with Guac, I am currently devouring music like it’s my job. Did you guys know there’s like a ton of great tunes out there on the www?
    Bad: I can’t seem to gain a pound. Nothing I do changes my weight whatsoever. I started an experiment this week and am literally eating all day, which is going to probably make me miserable.
    Ugly: I had to skip leg day this week. Feel like a total failure.

    • (hey YLIF, we’ve known each other a while now, right? check it: “leg day” is code for stay at home and play video games. now u know!)

      • YourLogicIsFlushed

        WHAAAAT!?!?!? I’ve been wasting my time doing squats and shit for months. Ugh. Fuck you guys.

        • sorry man, i would have said something sooner had i known. legs == useless

          • YourLogicIsFlushed

            I should have know, I mean, what else besides biceps are useful in everyday situations?

    • explain moar of dis www u speak of. plz

    • Spear

      Pfff, legs. What have legs ever done for anybody cool?

    • megachiles

      Make every day leg day, then you’ll always feel awesome!

      Have you ever tried tracking your macros/iifym? A lot of people at my gym seem to have great success with it.

  • Spear

    Good: Recording this weekend
    Bad: Me, at guitar
    Ugly: The first 5000 takes of any of my solos. Can’t wait to spend the next 10 years in the studio.

    • YourLogicIsFlushed

      You should try doing it right the first time. Works for me.

      • COAL ROLL

        I dig your swag bro

      • Spear

        Huh, never considered that. Thanks!

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm

      Try learning the Kerry King scale.

      • “Kerry King scale” -> moving the pool table for the band?

        • Dave Vincent’s Perm

          “I generally try to play as many notes as quickly as possible in the shortest time. This collective jumble of random pitches when correctly infused with a violent use of the tremelo arm is generally what I consider to be a guitar solo.
          Amongst certain death metal guitarists this approach is known as using The Kerry King “scale.”
          Evidence of the KK “scale” can be found in any number of works featuring messrs Hoffman, Rozz, West, Torrao etc.”

  • COAL ROLL

    Good: The mailmanbro delivery I am expecting to find when I get home

    Bad: The mailmanbro delivery I am expecting to find when I get home

    Ugly: The mailmanbro delivery I am expecting to find when I get home

  • Good: Getting taxes done and will stack some of dat paper.
    Also Good: Seeing Crowbar perform the Broken Glass album (my fav Crowbar album in full) on Monday
    Bad: My 3 year old son continues the terrible 2’s saga.
    Ugly: Kansas

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      The band or the state?

      • Sir Tapir The Based

        Both.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          They’re not that bad. They have a new album coming out in September.

        • This would’ve been my response.

    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      Broken Glass >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

      (though Odd Fellow Rest is my favorite Crowbar album)

      • Kirk’s vocals sound like he needs to take a giant shit on that album.

        • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

          Don’t they always sound like that?

          • Let me rephrase – it sounds like he has to take an inhuman shit on that album.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Good: NXT Takeover is on tonight, the amount of hours I’ll be working next week.

    Bad: The only day off I have next week is Tuesday and I’m missing the Kickoff show for Wrestlemania because I work at Old Navy from 2-6 and it starts at 5.

    Ugly: My non existent love life.

  • ME GORAK B.C.™

    GOOD: NEW MOONSORROW & HYPERION!!!!!!!!!
    BAD: CAN’T SEE RECORDSTOREBRO TO GET TIL NEXT WEEK 🙁
    UGLY: MUST WAIT 7 MORE DAYS 4 IHSAHN!!!!!!!!!!

    • Owlswald

      ALSO GOOD: NEW ENTHEOS

  • COAL ROLL

    I switched from NXT’s to Pro-V’s because they helped me straighten my hook

  • Dork League and Group Message for Weirdos? those sound way dumber than Super Secret Facebook Chat

  • sweetooth0

    GOOD: booked my flight to MDF last night, so I’m definitely 100% going now! Getting pretty pumped for this trip!

    BAD: Still waiting for my turntable needle from JICO (ships on April 5th apparently), and with that additional haul I snagged at the Massgrave/Archagathus show last weekend, it is torturous.

    UGLY: no drinking and drugging for the next good while (savin’ up for MDF and Calgary Horror Con right after), which is gonna be pretty tough when my brother visits for a couple weeks mid-April on his way between the Ski Resort Restaurant job and his summer Waskesiu Lake resort Restaurant job. We party hard when we’re together as a general rule. But it’s been gettin pretty out of hand, and both the girlfriend and I figure it’s probably time to change it up.

    • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

      Still waiting on that needle? Balls.

      • sweetooth0

        yeah. fraid so

  • You remind me of The Babe…

    • What babe?

      • The Babe of the Power…

        • What Power?

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            I don’t care what power. I want to know what you’re on.

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            Richter is secretly the Goblin King

          • I saw my baby,
            Cryin hard as babe could cry;
            What could I do?

          • LMS if you cry every time you look at your own baby

          • My baby’s love had gone;
            and there’s my baby blue-hoo…

          • Pixie Dust.

          • The power of Voodoo.

          • Who do?

          • You do.

          • Do What?

          • The Aristocrats

          • Remind me of the Babe…

  • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

    Party on Dude! Nice write up Guac Jim. Sorry to hear abkut your bad and ugly, but damn does that good sound truly excellent!

    • Waynecro

      Clone High >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

      • no doubt. Phil Lord and Chris Miller should re-visit it now that they’re mega rich

        • Waynecro

          Seriously. I’ve always wondered what was going to happen after the last episode.

  • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

    Good: Unspeakable Axe Records(I think I’m friends with Eric now), my fellow toileteers, the Nucleus album waiting for me when I get home, the beer waiting for me when I get home, Jimmy McNulty, new music constantly, Rapid Terror

  • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

    GOOD: It is the time of the gods, the time for ether mass, I am in enjoyment.
    BAD: Only on vinyl, motherfuckers.
    UGLY: Tapir’s snout got even uglier since last week.

    • Lacertilian

      Scrimm (2016) –

  • Nativian Taco

    Bad: Had 5 job interviews this month. Didn’t get shit. Pretty sure everyone that got the jobs were sure as hell not qualified as me. Fucking pissed off. Fuck tribal politics.

    Good: I said fuck it, I’m going to work for the military base and go into fire fighting. Also, new Katatonia.

    Ugly: me when I’m pissed off

  • JWEG

    BAD (but not insurmountable):
    – Yesterday I missed the last possible date for submitting my Thesis Draft so that I could still defend this Term (assuming immediate approval)

    – I need a program extension to defend in May (or June/July if revisions are requested before it is approved as an Examinable Draft)

    – I informed my supervisor of the impending deadline (and unlikelihood that I’d meet it) a week ago, he hasn’t yet responded to my request to work with him to complete the Program Extension form

    GOOD (the resolution to the BAD):
    – According to the Director I can and should just complete the form and take it to him. Whether or not my Supervisor sees that as going over his head is a bridge I guess I have to cross shortly.

    OTHER GOOD:
    – My ‘working’ Term is over: though the Academic term continues until Tuesday, my Labs were on Wednesdays. It’s not really done, as I do still have some marking to do today to get it out of the way entirely.

    – Earlier this week I snagged a few more albums I missed last year (CD’s, not bandcamp). Beyond Creation is currently on heavy rotation

    – T-shirt art from the Vale of Pnath Kickstarter I’m probably not allowed to share

    The Chair is finally on the verge of release. Given earlier talk about distribution deals it might be available to a wide audience very shortly after backers get it.

    Something GOOD I forgot to mention Last Week:
    https://twitter.com/JWEG79/status/712855912067821572

    UGLY:
    – Haven’t had a shave or a haircut in a while. See picture. Add a week worth of fuzz. It’s a good thing I’m not applying for work right at the moment.

    Though if something “GOOD” I might be able to post about in a near-future Flush comes up, I will have to get cleaned up for a pretty huge Interview (career-trajectory-wise) shortly thereafter.

    • JWEG

      Addendum:

      I actually had that post ready to go 40 minutes ago, but every time I clicked “Post as JWEG” it I got an authentication error, I found I had been logged out of Disqus and had to repeat the process.

    • looking forward to The Chair! i need some good horror back in my life, lots of swing-and-a-miss’es

      • JWEG

        I’m hopeful that it will be a good one. It has a strong cast and excellent source material (though an untested screenwriter, TBH).

        I’d have to seek it out anyway, though, now knowing it was one of Roddy Piper’s last two horror films.

  • Teh Good: Spring. COME ON PPL!
    Teh Bad: Donald Trump. What a looooozer.
    Teh Ugly: This weekend is only two days long!

    <3 u Guis

    GL

  • Waynecro

    Good: Coheed and Cambria played a bunch of classics–including “Everything Evil,” “Devil in Jersey City,” and “No World for Tomorrow”–when I saw them last week; I’m seeing Eukaryst, Ashen Earth, and Nekrogoblikon Sunday.
    Bad: Ants! Ants everywhere!
    Ugly: Getting back to lifting six days a week after taking a mere week off. I’m so sore that it hurts to play Xbox.

    • Fairly certain Eukaryst is C. Molenaar’s favorite band.

      • Waynecro

        The band from San Diego, California?

        • Haha, yes. I had a “Eukaryst” beer at your Pizza Port. He gave me shit about the band for some reason or another.

          • Waynecro

            That’s fucking awesome. My parents are Pizza Port regulars and often hang out with the brewmaster, who’s Eukaryst’s bass player. My mom got so blitzed drinking Eukaryst beer at one of the band’s shows in November. She kept asking the merch girls who they were and what they were doing there.

          • Hahaha, that is excellent

          • Waynecro

            It’s pretty great. Although sometimes I’m a little ashamed that my parents are so much more metal than I am. I spend Sundays cooking for the week ahead, cleaning, doing household paperwork, and, playing Xbox if I have time. My parents spend Sundays drinking beer with a death-metal band.

          • Dubs

            Yo Wayne, I’m drinking a Number 22 Porter right now.

          • Waynecro

            Nice. My parents tend to like porters and stouts.

          • more beer

            Your parents like good beers.

          • Waynecro

            That’s certainly what they tell me. I had to quit drinking nearly ten years ago, and quality beer wasn’t so readily available back then. I never got to try anything like the fancy stuff people are drinking these days. Back then, if you wanted stout, you were probably going to drink Guiness.

          • more beer

            Good beer was out there. It just wasn’t as readily available. I will be out seeing a couple of bands tomorrow. At a place that has excellent beer.

  • RustyShackleford

    Great post Guac! Sorry you got some stuff going on, but good to hear you’re feeling like you’re in a good place bro.

    GOOD: I just bought my tickets to the Ommegang Belgium Beer fest in August. Mad hyped. Never been to a beer fest but super stoked, anyone vaguely around CNY hopefully could make the trip!

    BAD: Looking for a job for when I graduate in a month (oh shit) and it’s rough. I’m just looking for anything to do to pay rent and bide my time. Going to take a break before I go to grad school.

    UGLY: Too much Mountain Dew and junk food in my second semester senior life. My poops be FUNKYYYYYYYYYY!

    Also FINAL FOUR tmrw GO ORANGE BOYS!!!!!!

    • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

      Ommegang make good brews.

    • O Mme Gaaaaaaaaa@aa@@ng!

  • JWEG

    In other news, I spent last night watching a bunch of John Carpenter films, the last one being Assault on Precinct 13 (or is it 9 Division 13?)

    I’m hearing ominous synth everywhere I go now.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5UU2TxOcZs

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm

      I liked John Carpenter’s Vampires because there’s a certain kind of cheesy nonsense I quite enjoy.

  • Pentagram Sam

    Good: Sitting my ass down to learn tutorials for Fruity Loops for reals. Seeing all these kah-razy things like the EQ stuff and side chaining and everything is pretty daunting, but reminds me of when I first started learning guitar and sitting down w first position G Major scale. So, the mentality of sticking with it is already entrenched.

    Also, Sunday is the last day at the restaurant job. Actually ending on a good note, getting along and not having a shitty attitude helps out immensely (duh). In a ways I’m kinda a bit disappoint to end because until the next job starts, I’ll have some downtime where I wont be working 2 jobs. I WILL NOT DERAIL MYSELF GETTING BACK TO AUSTIN.

    HOWEVER, that does mean my ass will get up everyday and fucks w Fruity Loops and put my ass to learning so it can be a good thing.

    Nothing really bad:

    UGLY: The butterflies in my stomach when I get all a tizzy thinking about asking a certain former President if he has any time off this week to kick it. hahahha nah but for real tho, MR DUBBBBS. I dunno if you can message on Disqus but I’m down for a LBK trip prob this week or next before the new second job starts that involves a trek to Ralph’s, some Wienerschnitzel and some cold buuuuuurrrrrrr.

    • I understood 2/3 of this. : /

      • Pentagram Sam

        Hahahah trying to set up a brochilldate with DUBS in Lubbock in the next few weeks. I guess asking a stranger to kick it over the internet on a public forum thru pseudonym Disqus names is a bit weird but ayyyyyyyy. I got pics to prove I’m a real person and not an Arabian spam bot!

  • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

    Good: It’s my birthday.
    Bad: My birthday’s on April Fool’s day and yes that is annoying as hell. I’ve heard all of the jokes. ALL OF THEM.
    Ugly: I’m now 29, thus this is my last year as a spry, young 20-something. Fuck…

  • Rob M

    GREAT: Archgoat crushed my face last night

    BAD: Valkyrja’s set…man what chore to get through

    UGLY: Me, after having to get up this morning, after Archgoat crushed my face last night way past my bedtime…Im getting too old for this shit

  • Dave Vincent’s Perm

    Good: going to Leeds tomorrow. Hopefully I’ll be able to find the places I’m looking for this time.
    Bad: childhood’s end has, uh, ended
    Ugly: Green flecks on my fretboard what the fuck

    • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

      Green flecks?

      • Dave Vincent’s Perm

        Inside the wood grain. Probably should leave it in the case instead of on the stand.

        • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

          That’s odd.

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

    Oh and…a new month has started, which means: new CD orders. As some of you already know; as of last year I’ve been busy creating a physical collection of albums I already own digitally. As I’m leaving the country next month, I’ll only allow myself to order 5 more CD’s aside from the 2 I already ordered today. I’ve created a prioritized list of 12 albums.
    Can someone help me out: which 5 do I have to pick?

    Drudkh – Autumn Aurora
    The Ocean – Precambrian
    Dismember – Like An Everflowing Stream
    Alcest – Ecailles de Lune
    Vektor – Outer Isolation
    Candlemass – Epicus Doomicus Metallicus
    Deathspell Omega – Paracletus
    Demilich – Nespithe
    Edge of Sanity – Crimson
    Nevermore – Dead Heart in a Dead World
    Electric Wizard – Come My Fanatics
    Katatonia – The Great Cold Distance

    • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

      CANDLEMASS IS A MUST!

      Also, where is the ManOwaR?

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        I’ll order some Manowar CD’s when I’m going to practice shooting clay pigeons.

        • Rob M

          Yeah..you definitely need epic music playing in the background when youre skeet shooting

        • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

          Oh, shit! *holds Ross back. I think I might need tranquilizer darts for this one*

          http://i.imgur.com/ZlC07.gif

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            I have a feeling I should extend an olive branch to Ross and give a few Manowar albums another spin tomorrow.

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            We have an understanding King, I respect you quite a bit. No olive branch is necessary, we are already at peace. I just have to give you shit every now and then.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            That’s perfectly understandable.

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            This one is for you!

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            I forgot to attach this

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Haha!

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            Haha!

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm

      Demilich. Always.

      • Dubs

        Don’t you mean Pissgrave?

        • Dave Vincent’s Perm

          Pissgrave are the only band that actually exists. Everyone else just hires them as session musicians.

    • Paracletus must be in the top 5

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        I own “The Trilogy” digitally, but so far Circvmspice is the only one out of them I own physically. It’s kinda bothering me…

        • makes sense. ok take it off the list this ONE TIME.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            It’s probably Paracletus’ turn when I get home from China in June (if I survive the flight of course…you never know these days).

            I’m already quite satisfied with the fact that I was able to nab a copy of Botch “We Are the Romans” (which is out of print) at a reasonable price today.

    • Rob M

      Candlemass
      Dismember
      Demilich
      Edge of Sanity
      Electric Wizard

      • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

        Good man.

        Task complete.

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      Nevermore, Candlemass (especially since that CD is so fucking crucial), Alcest, Edge Of Sanity (again, crucial album), and Katatonia.

    • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

      yo, if you dont at least pick up Ecailles de Lune and Autumn Aurora, i disown you as a frand

    • Lacertilian

      I’d pick Drudkh, Dismember, DsO, Vektor and maybe The Ocean.

    • RJA

      great list to choose from!
      Deathspell Omega – Paracletus
      Demilich – Nespithe
      Dismember – Like an Everflowing Stream
      Drudkh – Autumn Aurora
      Candlemass – Epicus

      yep that’s the 5. non-negotiable.

  • Rob M

    BAD: Fucking Aprils Fools day…goddamn, all these websites trying way too hard to be funny and its just forced as hell (present website excluded)

    Is it too much to ask for some actual fucking news today?

    • Dubs

      Joe and I agree that this “holiday” is just the worst.

      • Rob M

        Theres a couple out there just doing their own thing, or doing one joke and moving on…I really appreciate those sites

      • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

        Especially considering that Rozz Williams (Christian Death) killed himself on April Fool’s Day. 🙁
        That just compounds the awful, on top of lame and predictable jokes.

    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      Yeah I’ve noticed several websites using the Aprils Fools day “to full effect”…and the results are quite embarrassing.

    • I took a look at MS earlier today. Just cringe-worthy.

      • Rob M

        MS is absolutely painful today..talk about beating a joke through the ground and into the center of the earth

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        Saying MS was cringe-worthy today, is being very kind. The vicarious shame was tearing me apart while scrolling through a few of the articles.

        • I guess I didn’t get the joke they were going for. The band coverage was identical to normal programming. The tone was just slightly different and not particularly funny. But what do I know? I’m an unsuccessful blogger.

          • more beer

            Yes but integrity is the difference between your blog and theirs.

          • more beer

            It is a good thing.

          • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

            integrity, who needs it

          • brokensnow

            MAKE WAY

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Yeah integrity has never been that blog’s strongest point. Remember those “21 Best Albums of the 21st Century”?

          • more beer

            The truth is I don’t remember that. But I am sure it lacked integrity.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            A list of 21 albums out of which 3 were Lamb of God albums and 3 were Mastodon albums…

          • more beer

            I don’t like either of those bands. So it was probably very forgettable.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            I don’t mind the first few albums by both bands, but there are zero reasons to fill up a small list of 21 with (at that point) almost the entire discography of those bands. Especially considering how many other great albums had already seen the light of the day at that time.

          • more beer

            They hyped those bands so much I didn’t bother. I find it funny they think they have a hand on the pulse of the metal scene. I hate to say it that idiot who keeps talking about the Demolition Hammer reunion not being mentioned is right. Those shows are a pretty big deal in New York. They sold out in under 5 minutes.Old school New York band comes back after 25 years and not even a mention. Even though they are in the same city. But they are from uptown in the Bronx. So they don’t fit into their hipster Brooklyn agenda.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            True, but they probably think Demolition Hammer won’t get them enough clicks. They don’t care about the music or what’s happening in the metal underground. That’s why they choose to write some gossip article about Axl Rose’s involvement in AC/DC every day of the week.

          • more beer

            But they made it a point to do an article about about one of their writers crappy hipster band getting signed. They aren’t getting clicks anyway. So maybe talk about some actual metal things. Instead of acting like TMZ.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            I don’t think the word “succes” will be applicable on MS for much longer. One could say, judging by the comments sections, they did have a couple of more or less “succesful” articles in recent times. But when you take a look back at how the comments sections were 2 years ago…

            They still have a few tricks up their sleeve which can generate them enough clicks once or twice a week, but most of the time it’s gasping for air.

          • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

            yo, i cant even race bait over there. not that i would.

          • Salvador Dalí Lama

            You’re a successful, yet unintentional ghost blogger though.

        • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

          Ummmmmmmmmmmm, those headlines are word for word headlines from Blabbermouth. The one they did about Mastodon is one that TMZ had a week before, word for word.

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      At first I thought you were talking about a certain Failure For Blogs that’s now going the way of the dodo.

      • Rob M

        Well, theyre definitely one of the places I had in mind, but Ive seen a few more websites, metal and otherwise, who are going all in with this shit and it seems more irritating than anything else

        • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

          I was about to say in my post that I listened to Demanufacture last night and liked it this time around, but I thought people would take it as an April Fool’s joke (it’s not).

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Wow…

            How about giving COC and Crowbar another shot tomorrow then?

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Given both many many shots, as well as Voivod and Barfthrone. Not happening.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Ok, well…at least you tried…

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            They got you. You lost.

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

    The Good: My copy of Snake Eater arrived, and pretty chill week overall. A friend of mine back home is sending me some movies (most likely the 120 Days Of Sodom movie he recommended). Worked on some new artwork as well. And for those going to MDF, Demolition Hammer just got added to the bill.
    The Bad: Spring is here, and that means sinuses galore, especially when the maintenance crew for the area starts cutting the grass and blowing that/pollen around everywhere. Also, Verb the Noun bands. Breaking The Silence, Unlocking The Truth, Spooping The Cadaver, Burning The Toast, whatever, just go away!
    The Ugly: Certainly not chicks who appreciate fancy beer!

    http://www.beerinfo.com/images/funny/OldeEnglish.jpg

    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      Nice rack.

    • Waynecro

      That gal very well could be my future ex wife.

      • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

        Considering that you live with your future ex wife, I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

        • more beer

          It is if he can parlay it into a threesome.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Good thinking, chap!

          • more beer

            I try!

          • Waynecro

            I think one woman is plenty.

          • more beer

            You only live once have as much fun as you can. Plus you can really piss the ex off paying more attention to the large breasted malt liquor swilling chick.

          • Waynecro

            You need to write a syndicated advice column, dude. Seriously.

          • more beer

            All of the SJW’s would be up in arms. As most of my advice would be some pretty fucked up shit. Which may or may not be socially acceptable. Probably not acceptable.

          • Waynecro

            That’s precisely why it’s necessary!

          • more beer

            Put that Dear Abby chick out of business.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            At least 50% of the articles would be recommending that you take your girlfriend or fiance to a boot party and let them join in on the fun.

          • more beer

            No I am much more creative when it comes to payback then that. I’m not a Hammerskin for fucks sake.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            What’s a Hammerskin?

          • more beer
          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Gah!

        • Waynecro

          I can’t help but wonder how the ex I live with would react if she came home and I was chillin’ on the couch with that malt-liquor-swilling girl.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Lol, test it out! (no, don’t, not up for you ending up in the ICU)

          • Waynecro

            I couldn’t get a girl like that. She probably likes dudes who enjoy things and leave the house from time to time.

          • more beer

            Just lure her in with malt liquor. Then just keep her so drunk she can’t leave.

          • Waynecro

            That sounds so simple (and borderline criminal).

          • more beer

            It’s a fine line between legal and illegal. I think you would have to be sure she is 21. But if she enters under her own free will. You should be okay.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Wow, that’s sounding like it’s edging close to Bill Cosby territory.

          • more beer

            You can’t slip somebody a 40.

          • Waynecro

            That’s probably the best thing I’ve ever read.

          • more beer

            Hahaha!!!!

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Good point!

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            You’d be amazed. The fact that I ended up with a Colombian model years ago, and the fact that I’ve managed to get laid at all, is a miracle. And I’m not exactly top shelf material.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Holy shit…a Colombian model???!!!

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls
          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            Huh.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY
          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Lucky bastard.

          • Waynecro

            Nice pull, bro.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            I’ll have a nice pull on the top bunk tonight!

          • Waynecro

            Leave out a few bottles of malt liquor. Maybe it’ll attract a hot blonde.

      • more beer

        You would go broke buying her malt liquor.

    • Rob M

      A woman who can pound a 40 like that..thats the type of woman you marry

    • more beer
    • Count_Breznak

      This better be a glass bottle, or this picture is absolutely disgusting.

      • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

        It is. The plastic ones they got now look much different.

        • Count_Breznak

          Well, beer comes in 0,33l or 0,5l bottles ’round here, everything above is cheap piss in PET bottles for the foreign market. I have/had no clue about that brand, but pretty much the first hit while searching was about the glass bottles going out of production ~

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            I haven’t seen a glass 40 in a while. It’s all shatter proof plastic bottles around here.

          • Pentagram Sam

            When the fuck did this travesty happen? I was introduced to the magic of OE in 2002 thru a coworker at my first job at Popeyes. Newports, weed, and OE. Them coming in plastic bottles now is as a shitty as MD 20/20 changing their labels from black n white to their fuckin Boone’s Farms looking shit they have these days.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            I think it happened sometime back in 2012 or so.

    • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

      god bless GMOs

    • Sir Tapir The Based

      How’d u like the new Moonsorrow, Mr. Poopybutthole?

  • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

    Good: settlers of catan, dungeonn command, and Star Trek: Attack Wing. Massive amounts of intoxicants. rfi for proof

    bad: records not in this weekend. i like you, Eroding Winds, but youre super slow

    ugly: storms and heat in the mountains

    hope everyone in the toilet is well and safe

    on the table:
    https://youtu.be/e_cX0uhW3_U

    • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

      So much nerd. Excellent!

      • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

        we live it, dawg

        • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

          Rightfully so!

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      Humid as hell over here, and pollen/grass everywhere.

      • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

        fucking sun

        • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

          Are you having a stroke?

          • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

            ive had one before, i dont want another

      • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

        i dont have “allergies” but it is a bitch how much pollen can get on a car

  • CT-12

    Late to this party, but…

    Good: It’s finally Friday, workouts are going pretty good, and the weather’s been really nice this week. Saw some pretty cool shows this past week, so I can’t complain. Enjoying some new purchases. Also, posted song is some pretty sweet tech death (feat. ex-drummer of CinC).

    Bad: Ditto Blackbeard, still waiting on a few musical packages to come in. Gotta pay Ol’ Uncle Sam as well, then buy tabs soon after.

    Ugly: Me after this run.

    Have a good weekend y’all!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDDcp4KbWTc

    • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

      fuck uncle sam

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

    Really Bad: Bubbles from ‘Trailer Park Boys’ got arrested for beating up a woman.

    http://www.tmz.com/2016/04/01/michael-smith-arrested-domestic-battery/

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      Damnit Bubbles!

    • more beer

      The trappings of fame and fortune. If he wasn’t on that show no female would even talk to him.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    I matched with someone on Tinder. I told a really stupid joke to the person. Here’s the joke: what do you get when you cross a whale and a fruit? Moby Grape!

  • brokensnow

    Good- music
    bad. work. people in general.
    ugly- Being constantly reminded of the flaws in yourself and the world around you.