Flush it Friday – The Beargod, An Inspirational Tale. ©

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Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Belts off, trousers down, isn’t life a scream?

Yet another week has passed. Meaningless, it began. Futile, it ends. We listened to music, we complained, we shared our joys and we laughed and here we are again. It is time to flush that which reeks foul, a time to celebrate that which was nice and a time to tell the ugly to get a damn haircut, hippie. I’ll just cut to the chase.

THE GOOD: About halfway into August I went to see a doctor. I do this every year, a control check. Some of you know, and the rest will probably have guessed, that I am sick and that I have been sick for a good while. It’s not life threatening (not in the short-run) or especially inconveniencing, but it’s a damn annoying pain in the butt. However, the doctor did not have bad news for me. In fact, I haven’t been this well in years. It’s the first time ever after my diagnosis that I didn’t need a (temporary) boost in my medication. The only thing that’s physically “wrong” with me right now is my liver. The values (I don’t even remember what are they measuring) are a little high and that’s not even my own doing – alcohol isn’t to blame (for a change).

This is incredibly good news as it has been weighing heavier and heavier on my shoulders and for a fleeting moment I almost felt like everything was perfect. Until…

THE BAD: Being perfectly alright isn’t something I do. I’m well enough, which means I will remain ill until the end of my days, but since there’s nothing acutely wrong with me it means I have been, so to speak, dropped. No more control checks for me and while this sounds good at first, it isn’t. Because my sickness is by nature such that there will be better years and there will be worse years and such that you won’t really know which you’re living until it really hits you with all of its force. So I’m not exactly looking forward into finding out I’m a “little late” when I finally awaken to my need for medical help.

But hey, this isn’t so bad, right? After all you live in a country with a tremendous healthcare, don’t you? Well, yes, but that’s not all. Remember when I said the heightened liver values weren’t my fault? At some point it was decided that since so many people had problems with their liver (it’s killing me, not remembering what it is that they are measuring from the liver) the limit between healthy and unhealthy should be raised. Just like that, people were written officially healthy and have not received treatment for their woes. So now central-healthcare-whatever (I sure as hell hope this is only a national problem) has had to suck it up and the bar/limit has been decreased to where it should be, it turns out I have actually had heightened values for a number of years. Marvelous.

THE GOOD, AGAIN: At this moment neither of these woes are really bothering me, which is to say that I didn’t write this post to get sympathy or back rubs or any of that stuff. I wrote this because the world was out there, it tried to get me and I kicked it’s ass – The Beargod, An Inspirational Tale. ©

And I did get my tickets for next year’s Steelfest already; the line-up has a few pretty exciting names.

THE BAD, AGAIN: Relentlessly looking for a new job, this is frustrating. You might even say it feels like an exercise in futility.

THE UGLY: Imagine the foulest reek you have had the displeasure of smelling. Now multiply it by 200, as in being emitted simultaneously by 200 mostly shit-faced, hairy guys. Crowded, shoulder-to-shoulder in a small room – a splash of booze and the gentle caress of urine offer the finishing touch to this congregation of long-haired punks, who didn’t get a haircut. That pretty much sums up how I expect the Taake gig to turn out. I know it ain’t until next week, but I don’t plan on flushing then and I’ve missed Taake quite a few times – which is to say I’m finding myself somewhat excited about this.

That’s all folks. Try to have yourselves a good weekend, won’t you?

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  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    Good: Friday

    Bad: Fire

    Ugly: People

  • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

    Good: I get paid today, Humble Pie, my Playstation

    Bad: whenever I use Tinder and I get a match that person usually hasn’t been on for weeks. Goddamnit.

    Ugly: I can’t believe I’m saying this but the disappointing new Slayer album. Must Kerry “Burger” King ruin their legacy? Also, I want to see the Wu Tang Clan but they’re going to a shit hole in Pennsylvania called Reading sans RZA.

    • DCLXVI

      Hey JJD there’s a lovely lady from Germany in the FB group who you should ask on a date, she seems like a real keeper

      • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

        I don’t live in Germany.

        • Stockhausen

          Or do you?

          • it’s a long con

          • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

            I know where I live Stocky.

          • Pingu

            The plot thickens

          • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

            No it doesn’t. I live in New York.

          • Pingu

            New York is a small village in Germany.

      • Vote for Jeb

        No. Stop it.

        • DCLXVI

          stop no and don’t.

          Hey good luck this weekend peter steelers!

          • Vote for Jeb

            I have poured out the requisite amount of blood offerings as a sacrifice for victory.

  • Vote for Jeb

    The good: In what little free time I’ve had, I’ve been enjoying Super Mario Maker. I’ve even gotten to torture play levels with my wife, which has been fun.

    The bad: I’ve had a cold or really bad allergies for almost two weeks now, and despite medicine and a healthy diet, I have been unable to kick it.

    The ugly: My mustache has become a mucus receptacle.

    • Mother Shabubu 8

      They (no idea who, assume it’s either scientists or reptiloids) say that this time of year is when all of the mold unleashes spores. I had the same thing this week. Drink lots of green tea. It’s loaded as fuck with Vitamin C, which helps. Plus it’s hot which helps clean out your sinuses a bit.

      I blame crust punks.

      • Vote for Jeb

        I’ve had some tea, but need to up the green.

    • JWEG

      Super Mario maker sounds to me like Nintendo finally figured out a way to capitalize on all those ‘ROM Hacks’ I hear about but have never actually seen or played for myself.

      Although maybe I’ve completely missed the point. They just vaguely sound similar given my limited understanding of both…

      • Vote for Jeb

        No, it actually is similar, albeit a bit more structured. Keep your eyes peeled for a review here.

        • JWEG

          Sweet. I look forward to it.

          I haven’t seriously played through a Mario game of any sort since SM64 and a fraction of the DS one (the ‘New’ game, not the ’64’-remake). The nostalgia factor I see in the TV ad for ‘Maker’ has me truly interested, though.

          • Vote for Jeb

            It definitely brings the nostalgia.

    • My nephew has Super Mario Maker and wants me to play it with him, probably going to do that soon because Super Mario games are fun.

  • Super Nintendo Chalmers

    Good: I’m finally home for a few days.
    Bad: That new Iron Maiden.
    Ugly: Your faces.

    • Mother Shabubu 8

      Are you the same SNC from the old Metal Injection forums? Or a different one?

      • Super Nintendo Chalmers

        We are many yet we are one.

    • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

      BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The new Iron Maiden rules and I’m not ugly.

      • Mother Shabubu 8

        I’ve never revealed my face. How do you even know if I even have one?

        • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

          He said we’re all ugly.

          • Mother Shabubu 8

            I’m a singularity tho

          • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

            Oh. I didn’t know.

  • Celtic Frosty

    The Good: This was a 3 paycheck month, so I was able to transfer a huge wad of money over to savings when I got paid today.

    The Bad: I wanted to spend that huge wad of money on video games, music and pizza, but my unborn child is already ruining everything.

    The Ugly: That thing I just said about my unborn child.

    • Ugly, Frosty and Celtic. Wow!

    • It also caused you to miss a siqq-ass show with ya boy Yung Joe.

      • Celtic Frosty

        One day we will break bread and drink from the chalice of brotherhood

        • I’ve flown across the country to meet Toileteers but I’ve yet to walk down the street and say “sup”.

          • Celtic Frosty

            Eh. I smell weird anyway.

          • Dagon

            Somewhat name related:
            The Irish football team Celtics demanded that some of their supporters showered before the games because it was too foul for the other fans.

          • Celtic Frosty

            That’s weird because the thing I smell like is very specifically 2 week old corned beef.

          • Dagon

            Weird is relative. I’d sniff

        • Mother Shabubu 8

          Sounds kinky.

    • Dagon

      Be sure to tell him how many things he’s ruined from the day he is born. Tell it to your lady’s belly.

      Children love that.

      • Celtic Frosty

        “Well, I would love to go, but THIS FUCKING THING – *points to baby* – won’t stop needing shit”

        • Dagon

          That’s perfectly okay. Remember what Louie said and just keep it alive.

          “Good morning, you fukken baby”

    • The financial toll of the kid doesn’t have much impact for the first year other than diapers and food. The two of them have yet to break the bank on me yet although I feel it’s coming once my son starts daycare next year.

      • DCLXVI

        Daycare cost me $245 a week. Fun

  • J.R.™

    The Good: Went and snagged the Grandparents for the weekend. I have always liked how the domiciles of both sets of Grandparents smell. On my Father’s side, a striking earthy aroma, a scent of life and the crisscrossing of paths. On my Mother’s side, a subtle smell. Fresh, like a mindless breeze, briefly enjoyed and then forgotten. On a creepier note, I had to pick up Lady’s jacket from some classroom and got to smell her all day. Don’t judge.

    The Bad: I am out of clothing. I need to do laundry. I am going to do that now when I am done sharing.

    No ugly! You are all beautiful people!

    • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

      Awww. That’s nice that your love Lady JR so much.

      • J.R.™

        She sheds like a beast so while I got to enjoy her fruity smell, I had to deal with a million medium length brown hairs finding refuge upon my black attire. Not kvvl

        • Vote for Jeb

          Dude, my wife’s hair strangled our first vacuum till it no longer functioned properly.

          • J.R.™

            I *literally* cannot understand where it all comes from. I find it in the strangest of places. Places hair could not possibly get to without sentience to guide it.

          • Vote for Jeb

            I pack our lunches typically and still find her hair in my food :/

          • J.R.™

            bruh

          • Dagon

            Real story time:
            I rented an apartment from this beautiful Lebanese woman who had very thick black hair.

            When I moved in there was hair everywhere, including the freezer (?), inside the cereal box and even inside the oven.

          • hey she was nice enough to leave you some food

          • Dagon

            I wish. I was actually still attracted to her even though I had to remove 20 kg of her hair from the house.

          • J.R.™

            oven hair is the worst. the smellll

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            Been there done that. Unclogging the shower-pipes is a monthly recreation for me.
            Seems like you shed twice as much hair as you have.

          • Same here, strands of the wife’s hair are all over the place and has damaged a vacuum.

          • Dagon

            Jesus, what kind of brand are you guys buying?

            My pillow hardly sheds at all, I just wash it twice a year to get the love stains out.

        • That moment when your lady sheds so much hair that it clogs the shower sink. Ugh!

  • CyberneticOrganism
    • J.R.™

      Gotta go listen to more Hot Dad now

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Make it Lost Years instead.

        • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

          Wrong, Hot Dad is everyone’s lord and savior, not this Lost Years you speak of.

    • nbm02ss

      Well fuck, now I want to listen to retrosynth.

  • Mother Shabubu 8

    Good: Mold allergies struck hard this week, but thanks to a steady diet of Himalayan green tea, apples, Indian food, and hot foods, I have almost fully recovered out of it already. Green tea is powerful shit.

    Bad: My wallet. Had to buy Deafheaven, Cult Leader, Deluge, TesseracT, had to pay off the rest of my men’s league hockey dues, new loafers, bought Soul Eater volumes 11-15 err…comic books, and I’m buying groceries tonight. Capitalism. Consumption. Things.

    Ugly: My wallet. My social life. The lack of planning for the future.

    OH speaking of bears, and my state is a bunch of cunts. And not the of the lifeloving kind. The cunting cunt kind of cunts. See for yourself: http://www.courant.com/breaking-news/hc-burlington-bear-dead-0903-20150902-story.html

  • Nordling Rites ov Beargod, good to hear your situation looking upwards! did you have to stop consuming booze?

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      Hell no! In Finland, it’s illegal to tell a man he needs to stop drinking!

      In truth I haven’t been to the follow-up tests for my liver, but I think I don’t have to quit just yet.

      Doing better than you that’s to say 😉

      • just as a man only has to floss the day before going to a dentist, he has to stop drinking the day before getting a liver test

      • Mother Shabubu 8

        For some reason I’ve always wanted to try Mustamakkara.

        A lot of my favorite hockey goalies come from Finland.

        • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

          Oh man, Mustamakkara is something else. But I don’t know many others who like it. 🙁

          • Mother Shabubu 8

            I was informed wrong then. Someone told me it’s like the bar food of choice.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            In the city of Tampere perhaps, but it’s hard to come by in many places.
            Things used to be otherwise…

        • Pingu

          Mustamakkara is fucking horrible.

          • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

            Are you the same person as Death?

          • nope

          • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

            Where did Death go? Did he quit?

          • Pingu

            He died. R.i.p in peace.

          • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

            Damnit.

          • Hey! You’re the vocalist of that band..

            Blood of Pingu!

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JU8mKCRCLU

          • Pingu

            Maybe.

          • ME GORAK B.C.™

            GORAK VERY CONFYOOZ NOW!!!!!

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            You’re fucking horrible, Based Pingu.

          • Pingu
          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            Only thing worse than Sipilä is his wife. She actually married that fuck.

          • Well, my pronunciation of that name wasn’t that beautiful, either way.

          • Mother Shabubu 8

            What does it taste like?

          • Pingu

            Picture a horse. The horse takes a big black shit. Then a farmer comes and shapes it into a sausage.

          • Mother Shabubu 8
          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            It’s literally ‘black sausage’.
            Imagine a blood sausage but without as much the taste of blood. Apply some cranberry sauce.

          • Mother Shabubu 8

            I’ve never had blood sausage before. I also thought it was lingonberry jam that was served with it?

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            Fuck. I meant lingonberry.
            Funny thing, I don’t really like actual blood sausage, though I love mustamakkara.

          • Mother Shabubu 8

            I’m guessing it’s one of those foods you either really like, or you really don’t. Lingonberries I love.

  • Dandelion is good for the liver, I usually drink it in my vegetable juices but you also put it in salads. Give it a shot, might help you out.

    Good: I have off from work next week so bathing, shaving and doing anything is optional.
    Also: Subway Series ( Yanks vs Mets) this weekend
    Bad: My wife is trying to fill up my schedule with things to do next week.
    Ugly: Deaf Comedy Jam errr The Republican Presidential Debates

    • Dagon

      Those wives, bro, always on our ass. Fucking hags.

      >curses at full body anime pillow
      >apologizes
      >hugs said pillow, crying.

      • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

        I hate those full body pillows. They’re so useless.

      • Gary the Dairy Fairy

        “full body anime pillow”

        They’re called waifus, you ignorant swine.

        • Dagon

          I was translating for the normies

      • Looks like only Monday and some of Thursday will be infringed upon and I plan on hittin’some Bruce Banner every night this week to compensate for my loss.

        • Dagon

          Nice. Make sure you play her lots of goregrind when you’re doing chores for her hehe.

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      Earlier today I finished a book, in which one of the main characters is Dandelion.
      This is not a coincidence. This was fate.

      • See, it’s all starting to come together for you now.

      • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

        Have you ever tried milk thistle? Really really good for the liver, especially if you’ve got damage from drinking (I know that’s not your case, but just saying). It does miracles for the liver, and pretty cheap at most any drug store or anywhere that sells vitamins.

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silybum_marianum

  • Taake are great live. You’ll forget about that smell.

    Who else is playing?

    • Possessed (USA),
      1349 (NOR),
      Blasphemy (CAN),
      Hail Of Bullets (NLD),
      Ragnarok (NOR),
      Bölzer (CHE),
      Kroda (UKR),
      Impaled Nazarene (FIN),
      Azaghal (FIN),
      Skyforger (LAT),
      Demonical (SWE),
      Denial Of God (DNK),
      Diabolical (SWE),
      Necromancer (FIN),
      Sarkom (NOR),
      Necrowretch (FRA),
      Inferno (CZE),
      Sacrilegious Impalement (FIN),
      Sawhill Sacrifice (FIN),
      Saturnian Mist (FIN),
      Lathspell (FIN),
      Mörbid Vomit (FIN),
      Malicious (FIN).

      FIN.

      • Blasphemy. Fucking nice. One day I’ll drive my ass up to Canada and see those crazy fucks play a gig.

      • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

        Loves me some Hail Of Bullets! Tossing that on after this Virgin Steele mega-marathon.

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      Sacrificium Carmen and Abyssion, the latter is good. The former a little dull.

      • I saw that Sacrificium Carmen released a new album this year. I still need to check that one out.

        • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

          Yeah it was aight. A couple of really ripping songs and a bunch of not-so-goods. But I suspect a beer and the live setting will do it good. Usually dies good for most things.

          • Well, speaking of Finnish black metal. That new
            Sielunvihollinen album has been getting a lot of spins. Cold, so goddamn cold sounding. Those guitars are absolutely frost bitten. Especially those leads.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            Oh yes, that album is wicked.
            Playing it now.

          • I wanted to buy that on vinyl but the shipping was more than the goddamn wax.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            Through BC?

          • Yeah.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            Unusually much.

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            Usually dies good = new addition to the Toilet dictionary.

    • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

      Welcome back!!!!!!!!!!!

  • CyberneticOrganism

    GOOD: Progress & getting shit done at work.

    BAD: Looking for additional work on top of regular work.

    UGLY: Thinking about work so much.

    http://31.media.tumblr.com/c543af9dd505c21d3d8d66575b25d43b/tumblr_nuf6p8uKX01rsdpaso1_500.gif

  • Gary the Dairy Fairy

    The Good: I managed to do laundry today for the first time in weeks. I feel pretty good about myself.

    The Bad: As evidenced by the good, the bar I set for what I consider “success” is fairly low.

    The Ugly: the weather outside. It’s September. It shouldn’t be this fucking muggy.

    • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

      It’s hot out in NY. I was doing yardwork today and I was sweating my butt off.

      • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

        I am enjoying the NJ NY heat because we know whats right around the corner!

        • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

          I hope the winter isn’t too bad here. It sure was last year.

          • Witch-Ripped KJM

            Although I don’t go out much these days, I would be more than happy if Summer/Fall lasted forever.

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            Fall, winter, and a whole lot of spring for me. I fucking hate summertime.

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            I love the winters here. 14 years of Chicago weather, trust me, this might as well be South America in the winter when you compare the two.

        • Pagliacci is Kvlt

          Shirtless snow shoveling weather! Can’t wait!

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            erect nipples abound

          • Dagon

            Hmmm

          • JWEG

            So things can’t be all bad…

        • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

          Do The Right Thing? Sal’s Pizza getting burned down?

      • Gary the Dairy Fairy

        I just want to it be cold so I can hide my flabbiness under heavy layers of clothing.

        • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

          im an advocate of this system…

          • more beer

            It is a very good system.

      • DCLXVI

        I HIGHLY recommend some Gold Bond Powder. It’s the cure for the common swamp ass. Apply like a liberal

        • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

          I have some in my house somewhere.

          • DCLXVI

            I hope you can find that sweet relief

      • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

        It’s finally cooling off here in VA, aka no more 95-100 days. Fall still feels so far away, and actual winter doesn’t start until late December or early January. 🙁

    • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

      Not washing clothes =

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3j9XlswnAY

      I often just wash mine in beef stew, bacon drippings, and whiskey, then dry them with remnants from my ash tray. Gotta get that scent of biker bar bathroom for the ladies.

  • tertius_decimus

    2 Bear God: dude, as I told you earlier, keep searching. I’ve almost lost count how many times I changed the job (13? 14?) in the last 1,5 year timeframe. I had four this month! Hopefully, it’ll be my last before my own business.

    What this shit had taught me is that good, adequate employer is a heck of a rarity. But they do exist. Just keep moving through no matter what. Everything you do is worthy even if you don’t see any benefit right now. You’ll see it later, when your activeness will bring the harvest. Don’t give up and don’t do nothing. Best wishes!

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      Holy shit! Four jobs in a month!
      I thought I had it bad, changing every other month.

      • tertius_decimus

        Two times fired, one time with huge scandal, one time in silence. Third time I went out the door myself due to long distance between the home and the workshop. Anyway, it’s a good experience that changes the mindset, teaches to do clever moves, think twice and so on. Even on the bottom of life there are many things to pick up.

        • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

          And things aren’t exactly good over there in general, from what I’ve heard.

          • tertius_decimus

            Ended up hoping for better for everyone in a long while. Everyone’s happiness is unreachable because people are different and they’re not equal. People equality is a myth or in the best case is utopian dream like true anarchism. Case in point: in almost every troublesome region there’s someone with big money. Hard to question whether comes his/her income while others starving, or struggling, or both but the fact is obvious: it can be done. On the streets you can see many very expensive cars. Even damn boring Skoda Octavia can set you back 30000€. That’s huge amount of money where I live.

    • I’m right there with you. On job 5 or 6 in 3 years!

      • BEARD OV GREAT DAWKINS

        Ive never been fired before and ive had this job for close to a year now, my last one i was at for almost three, the one before that was almost 5 years

    • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

      This is the first time I’ve worked in almost 2 years. And counted 4 separate places on the way home that closed (one of which I interviewed for last year). It’s a hard fucking market out there, and definitely not wanting to fuck up this new gig.

      • tertius_decimus

        That’s interesting. How did you manage to live 2 years without the job? I had a period of 9 months and it was miserable. But 2 years…

  • Stockhausen

    The Good: eh
    The Bad: most
    The Ugly: the rest

    • Dagon

      Nice to see you have a lot going on.

    • You’re a dead composer, regarded as a vanguardist musician. Stop complaining and go write your sheit.

  • Dagon

    Stay healthy bro, but don’t miss out on life because of that. That’s a (almost) doctor’s advice. If you ever want to ask me questions or just talk to me feel free to hit me up on private. I had no idea you were dealing with health issues.

    I just have a minor headache to complain about, but I’m about to take a hit on this coffee and go to town reviewing some stuff for the residency exams that are inching closer as we speak.

    Gotta go fast, gotta score high, gotta pass.

  • JWEG

    GOOD: My Fright Rags delivery came through.

    I’m already wearing my personal fave of the three shirts I bought. No pictures, though. I don’t do ‘selfies’ unless it’s absolutely necessary (as with the TovH shirt).

    BAD: NAFTA (Free Trade) and all that noise I think was a total sellout to ‘Merikuh in the first place doesn’t protect the little guy like me at all from hefty, ridiculous 17-20% customs tariffs that Border Services don’t even pretend to earn (the package came through stamped “did not inspect”). Added to the exchange rate plus the original shipping and I pretty much just bought three $50 shirts.

    Fortunately F-R prints only on incredibly high quality shirts, and as I’ve mentioned before I have one I wear several times a week and have done so for 5 years. It’s a tad discoloured, but not at all frayed or shrunken. I’d rather pay $50 per to get something to wear that lasts half a decade (and counting) than a $25 one with a few-month shelf life.

    UGLY: the Cthulhu one. Ugly-awesome, though.

    • Scrimm

      How long do they usually take to ship. I’ve almost pulled the trigger and ordered several times.

      • JWEG

        Short answer: 2 weeks, almost to the day.

        I ordered late in the week ending Sept. 4, it shipped on the 7th from NY. Then left processing and got to the Montreal border station via the US Postal Service in a few days.

        The longest delay (about a week) was the Canada Border Services Agency customs check there in Montreal, and as noted above that didn’t even involve a full inspection. Then it was passed to Canada Post on the weekend and arrived on Wednesday this week. So that two weeks included (a) border delay and (b) being sent by regular mail on both sides.

        • Scrimm

          Thanks man. I think I’ll take the plunge the next time I get some extra loot.

          • JWEG

            You’re welcome.

            I definitely recommend Fright Rags to anyone interested in that sort of item. I know there are a few such companies but the shirts they print on are all guaranteed to be lower quality – which to be fair tends to be reflected in the price tag. I just think the extra expense is totally worth it.

            Plus, I’m a little concerned that their competition don’t take cybersecurity as seriously – I’ve only twice had my credit card information compromised in all the years I’ve had one or another, but both times were immediately after ordering from two of those other online horror-merch stores.

  • The good: TurdCutter plays tonight, I got to sing “The Black Mare” with Dragonland at ProgPower last weekend, and partied with an animal with all my band friends from all over the world.

    The bad: Choir gig at 9 am tomorrow morning.

    The ugly: I have to pee but I really want to finish this code.

  • DCLXVI

    Good: My favorite local brewery just put out their Oktoberfest. It comes in 22’s. I bought a whole fucking case of em. They will be gone by tomorrow night, along with any memories of what may have transpired during their consumption.

    Bad: I have to go to this stupid parade thing tomorrow with my wife and kid, and this girl who blew it with me like fucking 10 years ago, and who seems to have realized she blew it, and is now stalking the fuck out of me on facebook is going to be there and not looking forward to having to deal with that with my wife and kid.

    Ugly: what my toilet is gonna look like tomorrow morning after these delicious beer potions tonight. splat

    • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

      You know you can make your FB private, right?

  • Vote for Jeb
    • Lacertilian

      Bolivian donkey perchance?

  • Good: Week’s finally over. Been jamming new Mgla, Black Dahlia Murder, Soilwork, and TesseracT. Get to go to RenFest tomorrow provided it’s not a shitty mudfest from all the storms today, and I get to take my dog because it’s pet weekend there.

    Bad: My girlfriend is guilt-tripping me to go to a piano bar with her and her friends tonight. All they talk about is old high school friends and other bullshit that I want no part of.

    Ugly: My house. I need to vacuum all the goddamn dog hair that collects in clumps because of the fucking hardwood floors. My girlfriend refuses to do any cleaning because she’s a filthy pig when it comes to home life.

    • piano bar? how good are you at faking a stroke?

    • Pingu

      Is Billy Joel going to be at the piano bar?

      • Honestly, I’d be there in a heartbeat if he was. My older brother used to work at the bar next door to this piano bar and has warned me in the past to never go there.

        • Vote for Jeb

          We have a piano bar here. The novelty wears off after the first time you go.

          • I felt the novelty wear off the minute the words “piano bar” were uttered. Ugh I hate social events.

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            Oh show me, the wayyyyyyyyyyyy, to the next whiskey bar………

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKpOWdA1h9Y

          • EsusMoose

            I prefer my city’s piano bar to most others on typical busy nights because I don’t want to be out anyways and if I can everything drowned out with loud piano instead of typical pop and club stuff I count that as a win.

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            Oddly enough, never heard of one in Chicago, but more than sure they’re there.

    • EsusMoose

      Fuck didn’t know Tesseract’s new one was getting released so soon, gotta listen to Scale the Summit’s new album then that

    • Waynecro

      Dude, I feel your pain about the dog hair on the hardwood floor and the girlfriend’s refusal to clean it. What is the fucking deal with that shit?

      • In her defense, it’s specifically my dog. In my defense, she NEVER vacuums or cleans the house. It always falls to me because I don’t want to live in a shithole.

        • Waynecro

          The dog that leaves fur all over the floor here is my girlfriend’s (but I love him as if he were my very own dog). I’m in the same boat as you, dude. I’d just quit cleaning up all her shit, but I’m not going to live in filth. Her brother lived with us for a while, and I had to clean up for both of them. Bad times, man.

    • If they are serving drinks at the piano bar, that might improve your evening.

    • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth
    • Lacertilian

      Did you get through to listen to Cryptic Hymn yesterday?
      I think they might be in your wheelhouse.

  • Good: Saw Revocation and Cannabis Corpse. It was siqqq.

    Bad: The rest of the week.

    Confusing: Today, I was grabbing lunch from a food truck. This kid comes up from behind me in line and grabs the tip cup right in front of me all quick-like. I grab him by the arm before he can run away… And I quickly realize I have no idea what to do with him. I’m not gonna just beat up a teenager for stealing like 12 bucks of some other dude’s money. Pretty sure he was homeless so I didn’t wanna get him arrested. So I just let go. Still not really sure what the proper course of action was here. Toilet ov ethical dilemmas.

    • EsusMoose

      That’s confusing as hell, I’d probably vomit due to anxiety all over him. Decision making made easy!

    • Celtic Frosty

      You should’ve looked him square in the eye and said “drop it, kid, before I drop YOU.” Then everyone in line and in the food truck would’ve been like OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH and he would’ve dropped it and ran away in shame.

      • EsusMoose

        “drop it kid before I spinkick you” ftfy*

      • Vladimir Poutine

        But what if the kid had called the bluff? (If it indeed was one)

      • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

        And he’s gotta put on his shades, or take them off slowly before he says that.

    • DCLXVI

      no spin-kicks?

      • EsusMoose

        bastard I just made that joke haha

    • Simple solution: Chokeslam the punk and stomp his fucking skull in, “Drive” style. The ladies love Ryan Gosling.

      • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

        Men too! No one is THAT hetero!

    • Pingu

      You should’ve told him that you’ll let him go if he gives you at least 40%.

      • “I’m a need about tree fiddy o’ dat”

        • Pingu

          Joe is a giant crustacean from the paleolithic era?

          • Mother Shabubu 8

            I’ve never seen a giant crustacean from the paleolithic era and Joe in the same place at the same time. So yes.

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            We gotta work on that next time he has a date! It’d be like a Kaiju Big Battel sorta thing.

    • Dagon

      That’s hard. Maybe next time you could low key return the tip cup and try to talk to the kid for a while, buy him some food.

      I live in a place where there’s several malandros, beggars and homeless around and I try to have a good relationship with them. Just by knowing their names and talking I don’t get harassed for not giving them money and I feel somewhat safe from malandros that come from different neighborhoods.

      • Mother Shabubu 8

        There needs to be a Toilet ov Hell supergroup band named The Malandros. Dibs on Seth Putnam vocals.

        • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

          I call dibs on being the drummer.

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            Speaking of, still no Tyree around.. 🙁

          • Witch-Ripped KJM

            He was about earlier today.

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            Oh! Awesome!

    • Mother Shabubu 8

      When you let him go, did you Anselmo him and say “WALK ON HOME BOY!”?

      This is important.

      • GODDAMMIT. ONE opportunity to do something bad ass and I fuckin’ blow it.

        • Mother Shabubu 8

          You could always drive back to the food truck and try to get the kid to do it again.

          JOErge, this is your Jerkstore moment.

        • BEARD OV GREAT DAWKINS
        • Vladimir Poutine

          Riposte: your realization of what said opportunity constitutes all but guarantees you another one.

          • more beer

            I am assuming you made it to Denver Okay. I`m going to be heading to Vine St. Pub in a little while for dinner and drinks with my housemate and her sister and brother in law. If you are not doing anything feel free to join us. Both the food and the beer are superb there. If not we shall drink on Sunday.

          • Vladimir Poutine

            Thanks man. I’m actually just leaving DIA, so Sunday it shall be. Vine Street Pub rules though, you have excellent taste.

          • more beer

            I go where the good beer is. Tomorrow shall be a fun day.

          • more beer

            I will see you at around 2:30 at Trve.

          • more beer

            Hey man I`m gonna head to Trve in a minute. Going take RTD. I should be there around 2:00.

          • Vladimir Poutine

            Cool cool. I’m headed that way myself; taking the bus back from Belmar, so I should be there around 2 or a little after

          • more beer

            Right on see you then.

          • Vladimir Poutine

            Just got here. Look for the guy with a Death tattoo.

        • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

          Maybe the next time will be with your date tagging along, and she gets to witness you in action. Then, bam, straight from 3rd base to home plate!

        • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

          Or you could’ve taken him into the van and took care of him.

        • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth
      • Waynecro

        I actually did this after a fight when I was a teenager. I highly recommend!

      • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

        Ironically I’m reading this after I posted an RVD gif (‘Walk’ was his long time entrance music).

    • You didn’t immediately RKO him?

    • Max

      Personally, I’m just impressed at your reaction time. I’m the sort of person who always realizes what the smart thing to say or do would have been 15 minutes/hours/days after the moment has passed.

      So, with the benefit of hindsight, from the safety of a keyboard, poking my nose into your business and offering completely irrelevant advice: You should have just said “Dude, it’s not cool to rob people’s tips. If you’re hungry, I’ll get you something.” Then released him.

      • That would have been the right move. Wish I had thought of that.

      • Vote for Jeb

        That’s called
        L’esprit de l’escalier.

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L%27esprit_de_l%27escalier

        • Now I still feel slow, but more sophisticated.

        • Max

          Well, I learnt something today. As far as the English translation goes, I think “elevator wit” better encapsulates the nature of what we’re talking about than “staircase wit”. Because in an elevator, the antagonist might have gotten out on a lower level, leaving you alone to ponder the lost opportunity – which you have time and inclination to do since you’re just standing there while riding.

      • That’s me, too. I’m so slow, jajaja.

    • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

      Sweet! CC was my first ever concert, back in ancient times (1996, in Cincinnati).

    • more beer

      Sometimes doing the right thing isn`t all it`s cracked up to be. For example A friend and I were getting off the train in the Bronx. There was this guy beating the shit out of his old lady. Punching her like she was a man. We pulled him off of her and started roughing him up a little. Well the girlfriend then attacked us hitting and screaming at us. That`s my boyfriend you mother fuckers. So we let the guy go. Ever since that happened I don`t get involved.

    • Óðinn

      This is a very un-American thing to say, but the consequences of larger sociological problems aren’t easily solved by individuals on the spot. The fact that you were unsure what to do in the moment doesn’t represent a failure on your part. Quite the opposite actually.

    • You should have bashed his fucking skull in.

  • EsusMoose

    Good: paycheck, won first match of the pooper bowl. After a few hours of studying and student shit I hope to be able to drink and play the witcher.
    Bad: Been stressed and extra vile lately which has been annoying due to regretting the comments I make seconds after sending or saying them. I went into work hungover and it was made worse by all the food stores being too filled to get food during my short meal break or closed due to it being the weekend. So I got cheese sticks.
    Ugly: Weird poop schedule probably due to my diet.

  • Scrimm

    Good King Diamond tickets. Vocal recordings are going slow but quite well. Really taking our time with that part. Book of Souls.
    Bad: Work is absolutely screwing me, no even getting half tome right now. and getting shat on when I am there. Also I now have a theiving, lying scumbag in my home. The BS has already started.
    Ugly: My mental state

    • Dagon

      family issues suck. I hope this time things don’t get as bad as they have in the past.

      Stand tall, tall man.

      • Scrimm

        Thanks man me too but I really don’t have any faith left in that possibility at this point.

        • Dagon

          Which is very understandable after all the bullshit. Still sending good vibes your way.

          • Scrimm

            Much appreciated.

          • Vote for Jeb

            I second what Dagon said.

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            I third. Hopefully it’s just a transient phase that turns out for the best.

    • Book of Souls shreds
      how’d you get stuck providing room & board?

      • Scrimm

        Yes it does. I basically did it for my mother.

        • ah, well that IS very nice of you!

          • Scrimm

            Can’t be mean all the time.

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            Still, if he or she’s being a thieving, lying twat, they’re easily replaceable.

      • ME GORAK B.C.™

        BOOK OV SOULS GORAK FAVORITE SINCE BRAVE NEW WORLD!!!!!!!

    • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

      Why not just kick the thieving, lying scumbag out? We had to do that with a couple roomies a few months ago, and it was a “get your shit out NOW!” and that was that. The guy in charge of the place here (who thankfully is my friend as well) lays down the law like no other about some of the shit they did.

      • Scrimm

        Not that simple when other family members are involved.

        • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

          Yeah, that changes the equation.

  • Good: music, salary raise, my mint plant is starting to grow again after it nearly rotted.

    Bad: this fucking paper I had procrastinated the entire month and I have to finish because next month is the presentation on the Master. Pressure. Constant headaches. Weird allergies due the climate.

    Ugly: the climate this weeks had been unforgiving. The water issues. Living with inflation and the uncertainty of a better finances.

    Cute: lion cub roars.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDpS6D-KUiw

    • BEARD OV GREAT DAWKINS

      How did you almost killa a mint plant, elflord? Mint plants take over, shouldnt be a prollem

      • I was out for a week to my hometown. When I was at the LinkCave again the plant was withered 🙁

        This weather have been awful, lot of hot temperatures even when it’s cloudy.

        But it’s growing again! It have three branches right now <3

        • i wonder how Beard’s “mint” plant is doing

          • Dagon

            He he he

            You know Link is using mint as a code, right?

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            He who controls the mint, controls the universe.

          • Witch-Ripped KJM

            I’m sure he’s well aware. ^_^

          • Jejejeje!

          • BEARD OV GREAT DAWKINS

            Its weird, its like 6ft tall and . . . for some reason it doesnt really smell like youd expect a mint plant to

          • i’ve been delving back into the “mint” since being sick!

          • BEARD OV GREAT DAWKINS

            Mint is supposed to be a wonder… drug, jimmies. Who knows, it could heal your poor pancreas

          • Scrimm

            YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          • Witch-Ripped KJM

            I honestly don’t have the space in my tiny 2 bdrm apt to grow any “mint”.

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            What KJM’s “mint” plants would look like:

            http://37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7snq1RxoU1qjhuyko1_500.gif

          • Witch-Ripped KJM

            With my luck? Probably.

          • more beer

            No they would look like this.

          • Witch-Ripped KJM

            I would hope so. I just finished off some Strawberry Banana, very tasty.

          • more beer

            They are pretty easy to grow. Smoking some of that Tangerine Haze right now. It has the most incredible citrus smell.

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a73/Killer2115/502379701_89d7ff50df_o.jpg

            And yes, that’s the world’s tallest pot plant.

          • more beer

            Where are the colas? It`s big but the lack of flowers makes me think it is a male plant. Which makes it utterly useless. It could be as tall as a Redwood but still not get you high.

  • Super Nintendo Chalmers

    This Friday feels like a Tuesday. Pretty blehhh.

  • Witch-Ripped KJM

    What is this “haircut” you speak of? I know it not.

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      Damn hippie!

  • Paris Hilton

    Good: I’m off of booze to concentrate on my training and getting swole as fuck cuz of it. I’m happy I don’t have to worry about hangovers interrupting my training schedule or having a shit ton of literal empty calories fuckin up my gains. I quit weed way back (I had a shit tier experience my last time on it and it put things in perspective, but that’s a tale for another time) and that was hands down the best decision I ever made so I figured no liquor would help even more. I’m training like a fucking beast and gettin dat Slacker Radio to provide my breakdowns.

    Bad: I need to come up with a 12 week program for a Ninja Warrior class. It’s essentially an exercise program based off of American Ninja Warrior, I have warped walls which is fucking AWESOME, but putting physical skills into written words is a pain in the ass.

    The Ugly: Nothing about my life is ugly right now. Bitch I’m adorable!

    • It’s good to see you in shape again after Tinkerbell passed away.

      #RIPTinky #HailParis #ImmortalHeirVenezuelanFC

    • I want to try your Ninja Warrior class so bad. Especially that warped wall.

      • Paris Hilton

        I’m not gonna rest till I’m able to run up our 14 foot one fucking Prince of Persia style!

      • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

        Gotta start with this.

        http://www.realultimatepower.net

        All you need to train to be a true Ninja Warrior!

        • CyberneticOrganism

          Yes!

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            I’m hoping Robert Hamburger does another book, but that’s most likely not going to happen.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Robert Hamburger… Bob Hamburger… Bob Burger

            OH MY GOD BOB’S BURGERS

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            Sucks ass? Yes it does!

    • Scrimm

      Been lifting again myself, nothing too hardcore yet and I still have a hernia to be careful off so no squats or deadlifts. It’s amazing though how much of my form has come back so quickly with just a little stimulation.

      • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth
        • Scrimm

          It sucks.

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            I can imagine!

      • Lacertilian

        Be good for releasing a little tension with your current stress too dude.
        Then hit the ‘mint’ and have a big feed w/ beer & metal.
        Can’t go wrong.

        • Scrimm

          Yeah it’s nice. Don’t feel so bad about myself either.

    • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

      American Ninja Warrior FINALLY had someone beat their course, and had to pay them $1 million. I was amazed that the show was even still on the air.

  • Vladimir Poutine

    The Bad: tumultuous times continue and I find myself moving again. Tonight, as it turns out.

    The Good: I get to move back to the Mile High City, to lots of friends and a job that I love. I can afford beer while I wait in the airport. I have books to read. Lots to be grateful for.

    The Ugly: the Friday night crowd at Logan Airport, of which I am one.

    • Witch-Ripped KJM

      : (

      • Vladimir Poutine

        It’s bittersweet, man. Trying not to look on the Boston excursion as a failure; it was a weird situation.

        • Witch-Ripped KJM

          I’m just sorry we didn’t get that beer.

          • Vladimir Poutine

            I’ll be back for a few days around Christmas and will probably be flying through Logan; maybe I can get an early flight which would give me a few hours to kill between the plane and the bus to Maine. Could zip out to Davis on the T and hit The Burren.

          • Witch-Ripped KJM

            I’ll be “here”.

          • Vladimir Poutine

            Word. I’m not giving up on Toilet socializing. Nosir.

        • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

          Kinda felt that way when I moved out of Chicago after 14 years. Took me a while to realize, but it was an excellent decision.

    • EsusMoose

      Beer is good, probably makes airports not completely awful.

      • Vladimir Poutine

        Takes the edge off and sometimes you meet nice folks.

        • EsusMoose

          I haven’t been in an airport since I’ve come of drinking age but I could see that and probably will do that if I have a mid to late flight sometime.

      • more beer

        Beer makes life not completly aweful

        • True.

          • more beer

            Things okay with you? People were wondering where you have been. Me personally I just figure people have things going on.

          • Eh, just needed to stay away and get shit done. No big deal. It’s Friday. This fucking place can be a distraction sometimes.

            EDIT: Most times.

          • more beer

            Yes it can. Luckily I`m not at a desk at my job. So I`m only here when I`m home and not doing anything anyway. I had a few really good nitro chocolate stouts this evening. At the brewery up the street from my house. Sunday I meet Vladimir Poutin at Trve Brewery. If I can get some bottles.I will figure out a way to send you some of those SunnO((((((( stouts. I`m not sure what the rules are concerning mailing beer. But laws are made to be broken.

          • Haha! Yes sir, they are. Nitro chocolate stouts sound really good.

          • more beer

            Delicious!

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            I’d try one, but probably wouldn’t like it. I like my beer pretty blue collar and basic. Not too low grade though.

    • more beer

      Travel safe I thought you had arrived already.

  • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

    I’m happy. The record store near me is moving to a bigger space down the road and they’re hiring more people. I applied as soon as I read that.

    • Witch-Ripped KJM

      Just show that you have a diverse knowledge of music(i.e. music other than Rock/Pop), and that you like people and you should have no problem.

      • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

        I put both of those things. They’re not moving until November so I probably won’t hear back for a month or two.

    • ME GORAK B.C.™

      GORAK FAVORITE RECORD STORE CLOSED!!!!!! :'( !!!

      • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

        I’m sorry. The one near me is awesome.

    • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

      Oddly enough, there’s one up the street from me. Mostly sells jazz, hip hop and dad rock, and in the front window, a poster of that Roger Daltry movie and Heavy Traffic.

  • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

    Good to hear you’re doing better, oh Mighty God Of Paddlin’! Sounds like what you have is incurable, but hopefully the good periods far outweigh the bad, and hopefully you can keep whatever it is at bay.

    Good. FINALLY starting work on Monday, and picked up my paycheck for the orientation I went to last week. I was there 2 hours, but they rounded it up to 3. And since I’m gonna be doing 7 days back to back, I’m gonna have 9 hours of overtime on my check ($12 something hourly on the overtime). And got another music interview sent on over, just waiting on the answers to the questions. Working on 2 more over the weekend.

    Bad: Nothing much, really. Bored more than anything. And Bolt Thrower’s drummer passed away. 38 is way too young to be dying, especially so suddenly.

    The Ugly: Talyta Cavalari (3rd pic). And boobs and butts bouncing, because COOTIES!!!!

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kgkOULa-V9k/UZk2cnpcRlI/AAAAAAABGkg/4T4yTQioC9s/s640/1-butt-bouncing-cup-cute-girl-gifs.gif

    http://i.imgur.com/jwIoNMC.gif

  • Waynecro

    Good: My girlfriend starting doing yoga again, so, you know, tank tops and yoga pants.
    Bad: As I left my house last night, I thought I was looking at a hummingbird hovering near my roof. It was actually a fucking spider. And I think some spider eggs hatched on one of my windows, because I came down in the middle of the night and found hundreds of the little fuckers on the window, on the ceiling, on the floor, all over the couch–basically all over the room. I spent two hours with a flashlight following the web trails to kill them all.
    Ugly: Bovine-serum-albumin protein powder. Surprisingly, not the grossest-tasting thing I’ve consumed in the quest for gainz.

    • Dagon

      Yoga pants >>>>>>>>>>>
      Tank tops >>>>>>>>>

      You probably never heard of this, but tank tops reveal my favorite part of the female body.

      • Waynecro

        Is it the shoulders? Nothing like two bulbous, glistening deltoids to get the blood flowing, eh?

        • Dagon

          Armpits.

          >History Channel Guy

          • Waynecro

            Honestly, I prefer boobs.

          • BEARD OV GREAT DAWKINS

            I can appreciate a good armpit too, tho

          • Waynecro

            I don’t hate them, but I’m not super into them. I guess I’m not much of a romantic.

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            Feel you on that. I like both men and women, but women are definitely the superior species in pretty much every way. And I’m about as romantic as a dying slug after my last relationship (didn’t end in a Sam Kinison sort of way, but a lot happened). I honestly don’t see myself ever being in a relationship ever again, and I’ve said that for almost 7 years (October 14 will be exactly 7 years).

          • Waynecro

            Sorry your last relationship wasn’t great, dude. Relationships can be a total pain sometimes, but two people can afford a nicer place to live than one person can. So, yeah, there’s that. I can’t say much about relationships, because I’ve only ever been in one.

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            It was great. She got deported and had a miscarriage along the way. 🙁

          • Waynecro

            Goddamn, dude. My condolences?

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            Eh, 7 years ago. Kinda got over it. Always gonna have a place in my heart, but you move on at some point. Life’s too short to spend on temporary battles.

          • Waynecro

            Very true, man.

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            A great relationship, that is.

          • more beer

            Most of us do. But than again I’m sucker for a nice aas.

          • Waynecro

            I’m definitely not an ass man, but yoga pants, man. Yoga pants.

          • more beer

            Don’t get me wrong. I just love women in general.

          • Waynecro

            Yeah, dude. For sure.

          • more beer

            You gotta have something to spank!

          • Waynecro

            That’s a fair point, haha.

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth
          • Waynecro

            Those poor, misguided gals very obviously made a deal with some sort of demonic entity, trading proper quads and calves girth for bulbous glutes.

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            They probably made a deal with Dagon (the one here on the Toilet)! A deal with Dr. Dagon = instant Brazil butt.

          • Waynecro

            That’s fucking hilarious. I didn’t realize Dagon had such amazing powers. Why spend years doing squats when you can just sacrifice something to Dagon and get an absurdly round ass instantly?

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            Now THAT’S a god I could worship! Dagon >>>>>>>>>> Brazil Butt Lift

          • Waynecro

            I’d be willing to sacrifice several small creatures and perhaps a few annoying coworkers to Dagon if he can get me the bicep peaks I’m after.

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            Lol, I’m going to get my chef’s hands back by next Monday! I already have the battle scars on my left arm from years of cooking, and a fucked up pinky on my right hand. Now I’ll have those callused, gnarly hands on top of it.

          • Waynecro

            You chefs have some brutal scars and shit. My brother looks like a torture survivor and has arthritis. He’s three years younger than me.

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth
          • Waynecro

            Yeah, dude. That’s the arm of a chef all right!

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            That pic kinda tells it. My left arm has fuckloads of cuts, burns and scolding.

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            About love and marriages, this song sums it up perfectly.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bzv1Kl_eG4

          • Dagon

            To each, his own.

          • Waynecro

            Indeed! You know, my preferences don’t really matter. I’m in a loving, monogamous relationship, which means I never get laid.

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            I’m not a breast, thigh or leg man. I like the whole bird.

          • Waynecro

            I agree with you, dude. Though. if we’re talking about actual birds, I only like the breasts.

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            Figurative term! Though, if you give me enough whiskey on Thanksgiving, the turkey is fair game.

          • Waynecro

            Ha! I used to drink Wild Turkey on Thanksgiving. You know, to keep with the holiday theme. I miss that. Now I just eat, like, 12 ounces of chicken breast every day. Not nearly as fun.

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            Gah (Cyber’s Gah Jar is overflowing lately), I definitely don’t miss that. It’s right up there with Stack and Courvoisier as my least favorite. A coworker gave me a cup of Courvoisier after work and I ended up throwing away the cup after two sips.

          • Waynecro

            I used to drink whatever I could get my hands on. I drank straight Vermouth if it was all I had. The only booze I didn’t like was Campari. Also, drinking Budweiser, Wild Turkey, and Mad Dog 20/20 in the back of a moving vehicle is not a good idea.

      • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth
    • BEARD OV GREAT DAWKINS

      Man, that sounds sciency but ill just stick with my whey and celltech

      • Waynecro

        Basically, it’s cow blood.

        • BEARD OV GREAT DAWKINS

          Gj lance

        • more beer

          BLOOD!

          • Waynecro

            Pretty fucking metal, right?

          • more beer

            Fuck yea!

          • Waynecro

            It actually doesn’t taste as bad as hydrolyzed proteins or instantized EAAs, but it definitely has an odd beefy, barnyard aftertaste. It’s only one part of the blood, so the gnarly iron taste isn’t there.

          • more beer

            I’ve never drank anything like that. I live what most would consider a pretty unhealthy life style. But everyone I know who has changed that drasticly at my age has died. Fuck that I’m good with my foolish lifestyle.

          • Waynecro

            I get that. If my former lifestyle hadn’t nearly killed me, I’d probably still be swilling Evan Williams every night. I miss that sometimes.

          • more beer

            That Even Williams is some brutal shit. Don’t let the user name fool you. I’m not a raging alcoholic. I love beer and bourbon. But I don’t drink everyday. I smoke herb everyday though. I’ve just seen so many people I know quit everything and drop dead. I don’t want to be that guy.

          • Waynecro

            You know, if it ain’t broke, there’s no reason to try to fix it.

          • more beer

            Yes sir.

          • more beer

            Nope!

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            Evan Williams is some harsh shit, indeed. Worst one I’ve had as far as whiskey was Wild Turkey. Drank it once when it was on sale at the local convenience store back in Hyde Park, and it tore my ass in two after half a bottle. Canadian Reserve wasn’t so bad, but it was so cheap, you know I had to plow that shit when worse came to worse, and made for a nice night cap/hair of the dog.

          • more beer

            If I drink bourbon it is usually one of the more expensive one`s. I polished of a bottle of Larceny bourbon the other night. Extremely smooth and very tasty. No hangover what so ever. I went to work early the next morning feeling 100% fine.

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            Haven’t had bourbon in who knows how long, but Southern Comfort with a twist of lime was my go to drink for a while.

          • Waynecro

            I never managed to get drunk on solely a high-quality whiskey. That’s one of my biggest regrets, haha.

          • Waynecro

            I used to drink, like, two or three gallons of Evan Williams a week. It was usually on sale somewhere, and it has a bit more alcohol than other cheap brands such as Old Crow and Ancient Age.

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            I drank about a fifth a day for three years. My drinks switched up, but a lot of the time it was Seagram’s Gin, Boru Vodka (best vodka on Earth!), Stack (GAAAAAAAAH!), and Canadian Reserve.

          • Waynecro

            I’ve never had any of those. Well, I may have at a party or something, but I never bought them. What’s Stack? I used to drink a bottle of wine and 30+ ounces of whiskey per night. If I was day drinking, I’d drink an entire handle of whiskey and then some. Man, I was totally irresponsible.

          • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

            Stack is high gravity beer. 15% APV, and even at Chicago prices, it was still $2. The taste is like if a car battery took a piss in your mouth, with an aftertaste of a drain pipe full of broken dreams. It’ll get you wasted on the cheap, but you never get used to that taste.

          • Waynecro

            Goddamn. That sounds like something I would have been all over. We drank a lot of Old English, Colt 45, St. Ides, and Steel Reserve.

      • more beer

        I’m gonna stick to beer and weed. Both are very tasty!

  • Fine Sexy Ladies

    Good: Both school and work have been treating me fairly well. Working almost full time between two jobs has also been netting me more money more consistently, so I don’t feel as guilty when I splurge and splooge on music.

    Bad: I got switched to a new house at my group home job, since they’re absolutely screwed for PM staff. It’s actually an easier house to work at and the clients are cool to work with, but I miss my main house, damn it!

    Ugly: I got to use a catheter on a human being today. I betrayed the trust of a Vietnam veteran by invading his urethra.

    • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

      Urethra Invasion is the name of my new grindcore band (more than sure someone’s already taken the name).

  • Guacamole Jim

    Super late on this train, but anyways.

    GOOD: I’m loving living with my friends who I haven’t seen in ages. I got hit on by a very attractive lady yesterday (good ego boost). Meeting lots of new people, drinking lots of wine, having great times in my new home.

    BAD: Got the shits something fierce today. Fucking brutal. Gut cramps to the nines.

    UGLY: The bowl post gut cramps.

    • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth

      So what is Bolivia actually like? My ex told me a little about there (in not a good way), and it’s one of those South American countries I know nothing about. Tall mountains is about it.

  • Sgt. Poopypanty’s Fartin Teeth
  • tigeraid

    The Good: Almost moved into the dream ranch in the country.
    The Bad: The wireless Internet is spotty during prime hours. 🙁
    The Ugly: The fucking Jacuzzi that came with the house has a bum motor, so it’s basically just a hot bathtub. 🙁