Flush it Friday: the Angry Venezuelan Edition

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Welcome to Venezuela! Beware your hearts because you will be angry until you have a stroke!

Okay, I was asked to make this edition of the Flush It Friday column, and I think that my benevolent friends in this dear blog (made of toilet and people that love toilets) are just simply masochists. I never wanted to make a Flush it Friday, because I complain a lot and I live in a peculiar land.

Why you should mind to read Venezuelan rants? I mean, our reality is very bad and we only know about death and despair and all of that black merol things you think to listen daily… Oh, so that’s why

So, here we are. I start and then you shoot your crap. Just be quiet, read and imagine all of that because you’re entering my Venezuelan dimension:


 Bad:

Let’s ventilate the bad first. If you’re part of the #LinkFanClub (I still don’t know why did you made a Fan Club of a spaghetti-finger Venezuelan lol) you know that one of the worst things of my life is the marvelous public transport.

Public transport in Maracaibo is a perfect example of how a bad system can punish and decapitate the user. It’s all bad and needs a nuclear blast to end this misery.

We have three types of vehicles: microbuses, buses and “carritos por puesto”, which are really old cars that you pay per spot.

Iugh! I risked my phone to take this filthy picture.

Iugh! I risked my phone to take this filthy picture.

To get to my work I have to take two of those “carritos”, but since the dollar issue in the country and the high inflation of our currency every day that pass is worse and more painful to use the system: the drivers say that they can’t find auto parts to fix their engines, to acquire tires they have to make one night line in a tire store to buy one or two (if they find) at the regulated price by government law and, since a few weeks ago, they have to make lines in gasoline stations, because Maracaibo is a frontier city with Colombia the local government implemented a chip to regulate the gas buys for all the regular users (to try to fight the gas smuggling).

Since this is happen, less and less public transport is working. According to the local news data, there are nearly 11.000 vehicles less in the city because the drivers can’t fix their old cars. And, since Maracaibo has a high population too, this entire problem translates into a very angry Link doing 1 and half hour line to get one “carrito”.

Or, sometimes I just have to push people while trying to get an overcrowded bus to try to reach the work at the right time (I work in a place that if I came late, I got discounts in the payment). For example: this morning was raining and some wild bus appeared and the people ran into the bus entrance and they were pushing and fighting each other to enter. It’s just sad; I don’t tend to use those buses because it’s a sad feeling that I have to run to an overcrowded vehicle and being pushed to go standing and squeezed by random people. And what I can tell you about the music? Today I had my daily dose of reggaeton, champeta, vallenato and regular changa (if you need the songs I can share them!); and yes, it’s not a great feeling being in a slow bus, with full dirty music blasting at 200 % volume in your ear and sharing your personal space with disgusting comrades. I don’t know how people here are used to this crap…

Of course, I don’t have money to buy a car (one old and bad car costs here the same as houses, sometimes) and I can’t take taxis regularly because I have to save money to pay those for when I have to give classes in the University or when I have to go to the Master classes.

I have a lot of other rants, but, this sucks because I have to wake up earlier (and that costs me a lot because if I don’t sleep enough I have headaches and dizziness) and return late to the #LinkCave. I have stuff to do when I return home and I can’t do all of that because when I reach the cave I’m so tired that I just want to die.

:D BLAZE IT!

😀 BLAZE IT!

In resume, since the economic side of the country is getting worse and worse, it seems that this is a problem that will not get solved in this year, or in the other, or maybe in the other. Venezuela is having serious issues with the government controls of the foreign exchange, we are a mono-production country that has to import everything because we never had a State, only governments that just take populist takes to get the votes and enjoy the vacations with the taxes. Right now, we have three official foreign exchange rates (one of them it’s for the regular consumption but it’s very broken and inefficient), implemented by current economic team of president Maduro, and one “black market” dollar rate that it’s higher than ever (last week, reaching 420 Bolívares per dollar and unleashing dank memes at the same time).

I told you!

I told you!


 Good:

My emotions and sentiments have been a roller coaster since last months; sometimes I can feel pumped, but other I feel very down; it’s not depression, it’s just that I’m a melancholic type of person and I’m sensitive with everything in my surrounds (which sucks because I live in a city with a lot of contamination and bad looking people). Living here alone in Maracaibo have been an experience that it’s really modeling, helping and torturing me at the same time. I like to see the good stuff too.

First of all, I finally have an A.C. and it rulz and freeze my buttz.

My family is doing okay! And I’m having a lot of support from my dad, my mom and the lovely Mrs. Leonhart. This weekend I will travel to my hometown since months, and I will get some delicious food, hugs and relaxing time.

I’m doing my best in work and studies, and even when I feel down some days, I still try to make my living worth it. In the end of all of this crappy reality, that’s what it matters: try harder, always, so your effort worth every second.

Link spaguetti's finger seal of approval: you rulz!

Link spaguetti’s finger seal of approval: you rulz!

My Toilet time is helping me a lot too. This week I’ve counting the new releases that I’m listening and I’m very amazed of how much music I’m consuming! It’s insane and it’s too much! I really thank you all for your daily recommendations; I’m tuning even more my sounds sensibilities and my critical thinking of what I like and what I don’t. I’m very grateful that this community exists, because I feel less stressed in my daily job and with my regular emotional changes. But, this “job” of writing and sharing with you is a great escape to all the crappy stuff. Thank you all for being here and for all your good vibes! You rule!

Also, I’m learning to play Dungeons & Dragons with my friends. This weekend we will have the second part of our campaign and I’m very excited because I’m a grumpy young dwarf that likes to send people to the air!

And, for the final good words. Today it rained. Thanks, Mother Earth.

My two plants are very happy!

My two plants are very happy!


 Ugly:

My right earphone broke up and now I have to hear my music with just one earplug. It sucks.

Also, there are new co-workers here and are worse than the last programmers we had in the area, because those are young interns that talk too much about nerdy stuff (I love nerdy stuff, but I’m not shouting everyday about it!), have that obnoxious Maracaibo accent and are very lousy. Flush those guys.

Also, they have disgusting faces and voices. Flush those guys, one more time.

Sing with me: “FLUSH THE INTERNS!”


 Random note ov the week:

I ran out of Toilet paper 🙁 It sucks to clean your pupú without it.

Aaaand, given the scarcity of dollars, if you (the international bunch) come to my country, you’re more than received because with 10 dollars you can pay like 5 good meals in Maracaibo. Imagine what can you do with 300 dollars!!!

Bring it!

Bring it!


Uff! This was a very lengthy column, excuse me about that!

So, you know what’s up next: revel your issues, share the goodness, kill some malandros, denounce the shitty co-workers and remember to us the ugly face of our reality and how you combat it.

“Life is an adventure, my comrades, you just have to play your role and let it roll!”

Link Leonhart (2015).

Featured photo by: Atif Saeed VIA

Did you dig this? Take a second to support Toilet ov Hell on Patreon!
  • Ugly: Low on money after MDF.

    Bad: Temporarily unemployed, although a few opportunities are my way.

    Good: Last job was the worst I ever had, so it feels great to be out of that bizarro world of terrible programming practices.

    Also I met Tyree at MDF, and we had beers and watched awesome bands. I destroyed my body in the pit and took a crowdsurfing selfie in almost every pit I was in. Six bands in a row of moshing will devastate your body, and it is so worth it. Also, I go on tour to Tennessee (Memphis and Nashville) next weekend with TurdCutter, so I’m really looking forward to that.

    • Oh, you’re becoming peasant again!?

      Hope you don’t have to sell your sword!

      Just kidding, love ya, brou!

      • Love you too link <3 <3 xoxoxo

        • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

          Now you’re gonna have to slay posers with a plastic spork you stole from McDonald’s.

    • How many jobs do you go through, mayne?

    • J.R.

      Which band of yours is touring to Nashville? Might have to get us a “Down South Toilet ov Hell meetup ov Dixie ov humidity”

  • Sir Tapir the Based

    Good: summer vacation starts tomorrow. I bought Valonkantajat (a book about Finnish occultism). Interesting book.
    Bad: hard times for poor people are coming. Our politicians promised not to cut from education, but now they are doing massive cuts to education. Köyhät kyykkyyn!
    Ugly: you.

    • Tapir, that’s so bad about the education system!

      Since the readings and your sporadic mentions about your education system I still thinks that Finland is a good example of good education. You’re not the perfect system, but, it’s still a working system. Hope new people realize that what those politicians are doing is very bad.

      In Venezuela there are people that doesn’t know about it and thinks that the cuts on education doesn’t hurt because we’re not seeing the bad stuff in the present. All of those decisions are a snow ball that will fall in the future.

      Strenght, Tapir! Enjoy your vacations!

      • I want to mail you toilet paper. How can I go about doing this.

        • Jajajaja, the shipping of the Armageddon album cost me the double! T_T) So I still have to clean my pupú with my hands. Thanks anyways, Joe!

          • I can probably handle the shipping. Is there a preferred way of importing goods?

          • I don’t know too much of this, I never had credit card/dollars, so never used this system until this time. But, my sister have one of those mayami mailboxes in which I could send the CD, mrs. Sara Claudius herself payed the shipping to Miami so we didn’t have to pay the US stuff.

            But when it reached Venezuela we had to pay for it. The shipping for the CD costed the double that we thought because the prices went up (ohh, that’s so rare in this country!!) once again 🙁 So I have to say no to suave Joe-brand toilet paper right now because it’s very expensive.

          • Guacamole Jim

            So if I come to visit you, can I bring you toilet paper?

          • Jajajaja, please! I will promise you my nails will be clean when I give you a hand shake! 😀

          • Joe,

            I did some research a month or so back. It was going to be ~200 dollars to send a 20 rolls.

            It was like 4 times more than I though it would be. Fuck.

            GL

          • FUCK

          • Seriously. Then… who knows if it will even make it there…. It would probably get searched and confiscated. God damn it.

            GL

          • J.R.

            FVCK

            Toilet ov kickstarter when?

  • Edward/Breegrodamus™

    GOOD: I’m going to New York City in less than a week. East coast friends get at me.

    GOOD: I start work the day after I get back (orientation before so I can jump right in)

    GOOD: the new Genocide Shrines album. Hot damn, that’s something special.

    • ¡ED!

      • Edward/Breegrodamus™

        Link!

        How are you my friend? Any change since the writing of this article yesterday?

        • In fact, this was this morning. My day was relajao-relax.jpg 😀 I did this and edited one article. Also, I had one tasty sandwich and I finally slept well. In one hour I can grab my horse and return to the Link Cave, today I have to give a “virtual class” to my students!

    • Kevin Nash & Friends

      I live an hour from the city. If you’re still here around 6/14 you should go see Lynch Mob in my town!

    • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

      If you’re sliding through southeast VA (Hampton Roads), I’m up for hanging out!

      • Edward/Breegrodamus™

        I’m going to be mostly around Queens but I’m going to take a trip to Manhattan at least one day for sure. I’m not sure where Hampton Roads are…

        • KJU’s Dancing Testicle Teethys

          Southeast VA, right by the NC border. It’s Hampton, Newport News, Virginia Beach, Norfolk and a few other places.

  • Howard Dean

    I just spent the last two hours furiously crunching numbers and jamming this album repeatedly. I feel like a drooling, primordial cave-dweller reveling in his own atavistic thirst for blood. Kinda want to eat some roasted bone marrow right now.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91kwdlJpA-w

    • They have something new coming this year right?

      • Howard Dean

        I think remember hearing something about a new album (August rings a bell?) on NWN! forums, but I just googled and didn’t see anything concrete. Hmm.

        They had the split with Witchrist in January, but I think something new is in the works. Logos was a good album, but I feel like it didn’t have the same punch as this one did.

        • Yeah, this is far and away my favorite of theirs. I just love those cervices.

  • Good: Making awful noise in front of a bunch of non-metal fans tonight.
    Bad: Listened to the new Arcturus today and did not jam 🙁
    Ugly:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaKZzFbhoZ0

    • Howard Dean

      Byah! Just got the confirmation a little while ago that my copy of this CD shipped from Hells Headbangers. Can’t fucking wait!

      • Good to hear! I thought it was just a weirdly-presented preorder on their site but if they’re actually shipping them this early I’ll grab a copy myself.

        • Howard Dean

          I thought the same thing, but it said “in stock” (and they were apparently selling CDs at MDF), so I gave it a shot. The shipping confirmation showing up in my inbox made me audibly byah and fistpump.

          • Tyree

            Dude, I was at the Hells Headbangers tent and did not see that CD any where.

          • Howard Dean

            I think they sold out quickly. One of the dudes from NCS went to MDF and said he bought one of the last two they had at their tent.

          • Tyree

            Ah, makes sense. Damn though.

    • Hey, send me how it was when you can to know how it was! 😉 🙂

    • Arcturus has not jammed for some time. (Frowny face.)

  • Guacamole Jim

    Lost my shit at: “I ran out of Toilet paper It sucks to clean your pupú without it.” Awesome to see Link writing a FiF!! Your life is very different than mine, mi amigo bueno, and it’s very cool to get a glimpse into that.

    THE GOOD: My younger brother is back from B.C., and I’m heading home tonight to see him for the first time in over a year. He’s a pain in the ass, but a great dude and I’ve missed him.

    THE BAD: I’m trying to learn tennis. That shit is HARD and I’m bad at it.

    THE UGLY: I’m stuck inside and it’s beautiful out. Am not impressed with this stupid desk and stupid computer. (RFI)

    • It’s gross! The original version was more vivid! But I need to mantain my integrity and my composture, so I censored.

    • EsusMoose

      Keep at it with tennis, it’s fun once you can be slightly competitive.

      • Guacamole Jim

        I can see how it would be a blast – but getting a feel for the racquet is difficult, to say the least.

        • EsusMoose

          the grip and feel takes a bit, I’m out of practice due to the fall, winter and spring, so I have a hard time not flailing at the ball. Serves also suck but feel so good once they come start to come together.

    • Glad it’s beautiful there, it’s been non-goddamn stop rain here. It’s rained 25/31 days here this month.

      • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

        The weather’s still nice here as usual, but those 100+ degree days are right around the corner.

    • Dagon

      Needs more bananas

    • J.R.

      I saw B.C. And was confused. Thought your brother was a time traveler. “Welcome back to A.D. Brother, bring me any saber tooth skulls?”

    • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

      Lol, I thought that was Maddox on the left!

  • Dagon

    I can sympathize with the struggle, Link. Even though I (fortunately) was born in a family that provided me with good conditions to study and thrive in my adult life (still waiting on the thriving to actually occur, but it will happen) I am not oblivious to the issues of Latin America.

    Also, my medical education has put me in contact with people from all different financial backgrounds, which gave me a better grasp on their lives compared to the phony idiots who glamorize poverty yet have no clue of what it’s really like.

    I hope our countries can enter a new political age and start to prosper. Our people need it. We need to get our shit together, stop blaming external ghosts created by our governments (like the U.S.) and leave mediocrity behind, on our own terms.

    • Love ya, brolo! <3

      ¡SUR AMÉRICA UNIDA, CARAJO, JUNTOS COMO UN SOLO PUEBLO PARA REPELER NUESTRAS AMENAZAS INTERNAS! ABAJO LOS TIRANOS, VAMOS A TIRAR PIEDRAS A NUESTROS PROPIOS POLÍTICOS

  • ChuggaChuggaDeedleyDoo

    Good: The Witcher 3
    Bad: Working all weekend
    Ugly: Lampreys. People actually fucking eat these things?????

    • ‘sup nightmares

    • Ugh! Disgusting animals! D:

      Have fun with The Witcher 3, I want to play that because I’m a nerd for medieval stuff.

      • J.R.

        I got the first and second one the other day for like 4 bucks. If you need me to smuggle you a hidden copy I can arrange it. Airdrop good for you?

        • Jajajaja, that’s fine but I don’t have a good PC to play that.

          My main computer is a stolen netbook from the one that the government gives to the students.

          • J.R.

            The first one is old enough it should be playable on anything modern-ish.
            I helped my sister find a laptop and her only requirement was it needs to play Sims 2. I’m like “Leah I could get Sims to run on a toaster.” Cmon girl.

          • Jajajajaja, I checked but I don’t think it will run. Do you like Morrowind? I think I can run that one!

          • J.R.
          • I saw that! Glad that lion is in a sanctuary, it was very tender to see him playing with the grass <3

    • nbm02ss

      I often wonder what primitive peoples were thinking when someone first gazed upon a crab and thought, “Mmmmmmm, that looks tasty!”

      Were they starving; the proverbial back against the wall, desperate for food, scenario?

      Or, did they just happen to observe another animal going to chow town and deduced that it was probably fine for them to eat?

      • Guacamole Jim

        Interesting that you ask the question. I’ve been fascinated by Chinese cuisine, mostly because it seems to combine two extremes: extreme poverty, and extreme affluence. This manifests itself in the wildest dishes you can imagine.

        I think a lot of the weirdest food we know of is born out of one of those two extremes. Either you’re bored with regular food because you’re rich, or your starving and need a way to make the unpalatable taste good enough to eat.

        • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

          Well, pretty much any national dishes came from the poorest of people and what they could scrounge up. As Anthony Bourdain called it, ‘peasant cooking’.

      • My mother in law made soft shell crabs the other day. They were damn good.

        • nbm02ss

          King crab is one of my most favorite eats ever. I will make myself look like a fool while eating it.

      • Sir Tapir the Based

        Crabs are fucking good. Only good thing about summer is that I can go to my summer cottage and catch some crab bastards. Tasty crabs >>>>>>

      • Lacertilian

        me and @dagonthefishgod:disqus were talking about this on the FB group a couple of weeks back, well more about the toxic foods really.

      • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

        Or they probably realized that it’s tastier than eating slugs off of logs like the Cro-Magnons.

    • KJM

      I thought smoked eel sounded disgusting until I actually tried it.

      • Guacamole Jim

        SO GOOD

      • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

        Eel kicks ass, but when I made it at home (I got it at the Chinatown back home), and all those slimy little guts spilled out and that stench hit the room, I literally had to flush it.

        • KJM

          I wouldn’t even attempt it. I’ll pay to have an expert make it.

    • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

      People eat anything. Even giant, shelled, sea-penises from under the mud.

      http://i.imgur.com/AMqXYfm.jpg

      • I saw someone try to cook one of those on some shit “reality cooking” show the ladyfriend made me watch. It was either “Chopped” or “Cutthroat Kitchen.” Or maybe both.

        • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

          Bizarre Foods maybe?

    • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin
  • Despite all the turnoil in your country Link, you seem to be taking it in stride. I wish you good luck, mountains of toilet paper and better public transportation without shit music.

    • Jajajaja, those jamz were the worse. But it was raining, bro! I was so damn happy, I put my old green hoodie and went out the #LinkCave enjoying the little drops. Maracaibo had months without rain n_n)

      I do my best. Thanks for the good vibes. Say hello to your little children! You’re the best!

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Mountains of toilet paper upon you. Mountains of toilet paper upon us all.

  • Tyree

    Good: MDF.

    Bad: The shitty hangovers I had. I honestly have not been drinking at all since Monday. Sucks! I want beer goddamnit but the stomach is still a bit sour. I might try and drink tonight though.

    Ugly: All the dry heaving and stomach pain I had on Tuesday. Also, driving 3 hours hungover is the worst.

    • Howard Dean

      Multi-day hangovers might be one of the worst parts about getting older. When I was in college, hangovers never seemed to linger beyond lunchtime or early afternoon the next day. Now, if I get fairly smashed I might be roughed up for a couple days. Shit sucks. Sour stomach is the worst.

      • This is the best cure I’ve found so far. Combined with a can of coke you get sugar, caffeine, and pain reliever super quickly.
        http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/519NvYb3-IL._SX300_.jpg

        • Tyree

          I don’t think NSAID will help my stomach.

        • Howard Dean

          That sounds awesome! I’m gonna look for that stuff.

          I generally don’t get too turned up on alcohol anymore, maybe once or twice a year (around Christmas with relatives and probably once a summer), but when I do, I feel like absolute garbage for about two days. Sometimes it’s hard to even drink water the next day.

          • Tyree

            YUP! I was throwing up water on Monday. Anything that hit my stomach came back up. It was the worst!

          • I had that once… I had drank so damn much that I was completely dehydrated and my body couldn’t handle anything. You’re done with that and can keep it down now, right?

          • Tyree

            Yeah, luckily so. Everyday this week has been awful though. Today is the best out of all of them. Longest hangover I ever had. I had to play a show Wednesday night, I thought I was going to hurl on my drums the whole set.

          • Brutal dude. Glad you’re feeling a little better now.

      • Tyree

        I really never get Sour stomach or throw up. This is the first in years honestly. I guess I am getting older.

    • Tairí. Just a little thing about your comment:

      If I were you, I would go to a doctor and reduce the beer a little bit to detect if there are any change.

      I don’t want to get disrespectful. Just a little concern.

      Stay healthy. I would like to have more Tairí around here 😉

    • Drink as much water as you can. Alcohol dehydrates the body. Take ginger if you get stomach pains.

    • Going against the grain here… hair of the dog. it’s not just a killer song.

  • Good: Headed to NYC tomorrow to celebrate my buddy’s 40th birthday.
    Bad: My little girl gets up a few times a night, lullabyes not working and probably getting 4 hrs of sleep a night
    Ugly: The roadkill along NJ highways that has been sitting there for weeks.

  • Maik Beninton

    The bad: I suffered heavy dizziness this week, on tuesday I couldn’t stand up and just sitting down would cause me to vomit, I had to be hospitalized for two days and got out yesterday morning.
    The good:

  • KJM

    Did somebody say “dank memes”?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1a5QQoHh60

  • Tim Wilsön

    Great article dude. Its very cool and interesting to hear about these important events from a first hand perspective, especially since the press in our countries barely mentions situations like this. A++

    • Thanks a lot, Tim. Very grateful of your feedback.

      I didn’t want to convert this into a newspaper about Venezuela. But if you need further explanations I can try to explain whatever you need to know.

      A huge venezuelan hug!

  • Link I want to fix your headphones.
    You’re a gud d00d and things improve for gud d00dz. That’s about as spiritual as I get!

    • I had to listen my shitty co-workers nonsenses along with my sacred music, Macnulti T____T)

      Thank you, bro.

      • Howard Dean

        Link, do you have a PayPal account?

    • Howard Dean

      Seriously. I want to wire Link money with PayPal. He’s a good dude.

      • Thanks and very appreciated, Howie. But, even if I had a PayPal account I would not accept your money because I like everyone of you at your own way and I have the tradition of not accepting cash because I value all the good things you can give me and I don’t like that material stuff lies between the friendship and comrade.

        In this stance, I would gladly accept any musical recommendation that you think I would like 🙂

        Xoxo
        Link.

    • Lacertilian

      I like that you’d rather fix his headphones than his shitty toilet paper situation.
      You’re a strange man Jim-Jim..

  • CyberneticOrganism
    • EsusMoose

      -Bojangles

      • The Ghost of Bojangles

        I was summoned?

        • EsusMoose

          I don’t know if you are the ghost of a certain mother loving cat. Would you rather have a nice dinner or someone’s mother?

    • Tyree

      Is bone marrow REALLY a food?

      • EsusMoose

        I don’t know but it looks good

        • Tyree

          Looks sort of like bacon.

          • EsusMoose

            Yeah it does, I want to find a restaurant that sells it.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            We got some bones from a halal butcher and made some ourselves. It was amazing. Put it in the oven until it’s warm & soft, sprinkle a bit of salt over it and spread it on some crusty bread. Holy fuck I’m starving.

          • EsusMoose

            aargh that sounds so good.

          • Bucket ‘o Blood

            That sounds delicious. What animal? Cow marrow? Since its halal, I’m gonna just assume it isn’t pig. Pig is harem. Apparently.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Yeah they were beef bones, though I was hoping we’d find goat. Good god I love goat meat.

            http://25.media.tumblr.com/48ce1c8ef985e61d086b3e5c09491584/tumblr_mjg8vzmZ5n1qzjxbwo1_1280.png

          • Dagon

            Goat >>>>>>>>>>

            One day I’ll open my restaurant and just have one plate called Baphomet’s delight

          • Herr Schmitty

            Would eat/10

          • CyberneticOrganism

            There’s a place in Chicago called Frontier that does whole roasted goat service. No one else will eat it with me and you need like 10-12 other people. Fuck. http://thefrontierchicago.com/animalservice-goat/

          • Bucket ‘o Blood

            Bruh let me buy a plane ticket and ill split it with you

          • CyberneticOrganism

            I’m DTF (down to Frontier, brah)

          • Dagon

            If I ever make it will get McNulty and we’ll tag team this mofo. Except we’ll be a trio.

          • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

            I think Sultan’s Market does that too. If I remember correctly, they have a downtown location. I’ve only been to the Bucktown (I think that was the area) location. That and Sinbad’s over on Belmont and Clark are my two favorite Middle Eastern places, along with Cedar’s in Hyde Park.

          • Bucket ‘o Blood

            It had better be a spicy-as-balls curry, because goat curries are the tits

          • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin
          • The W.

            Me and my lover like to stay at Welshley Arms.

          • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

            I’m guessing that’s a hotel. ‘Arms’ is the term they use in Chicago for more or less cheap extended stay hotels.

          • The W.

            It’s from an SNL skit, dude.

          • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

            DOH!

          • Tyree
          • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

            Ever try Ethiopian cooking? That uses a lot of goat meat, as does Greek and Middle Eastern cooking. Goat meat in a gyro is heaven on Earth!

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Just once but I loved it, I think it was goat in a sauce on top of one of those huge pancakes. Mmm.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Yes, and it’s fucking delicious. It’s like meat butter.

        • Meat butter is the most unappetizing word-pairing I’ve seen in many a moon.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            You’re just mad you can’t eat because I threw your arms away.

            http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/738312/see-you-at-the-party-richter-o.gif

          • Yeah, but you probably sucked out the marrow before you ditched them . . . Because you would do that.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            I would, and I apologize for nothing.

          • Lacertilian

            Really?
            Meat is awesome and butter is amazing.
            How can this not be Amasome?

          • 1. “Amasome” is not a word. Not even close.
            2. Meat is okay; butter is useful for cooking but not especially edible.
            3. If I lick your spine will I trip balls and travel to your magical austral land and keep court with the Wallaby King forever and evermore . . . ?
            (For the love of Mars, say yes!)

          • #3 for the FUCKING WIN! You da man

            GL

          • Lacertilian

            1) It is now. You read it, therefore it must be real.
            2) I would rather be a vegan but I’m too weak-willed and have already had the pleasure of flesh consumption.
            3) It’s been many a moon since I have tripped, unfortunately, but you could try. Mrs Lizard would probably mess you up good though if she saw such an act occur. Also, what is this Wallaby King? Is it Matt Burke?

        • That’s a paddlin’

          Bone marrow>>>>>>>>>

      • Scrimm

        Bad ASS

      • Howard Dean

        Yeah, I get it at this restaurant in the mountains near me, this cool brewery carved into the woods at the base of a couple savage fucking mountains. And they sell a bone marrow dish. It’s fucking awesome. Makes me feel like a cromagnon.

        • Tyree

          I’m very interested in trying this. I’ve never seen it around here where I live.

          • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

            Simplest way is to simply bake a soup bone, or next time you make soup, use some leftover chicken bones until they start getting soft and break apart. You can skim the marrow off the top of the soup. Unless you have a bone saw, getting marrow out of a larger bone is hard as fuck.

      • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

        Yep! Also makes for the best soups. It’s damn near essential in French cooking, and goes great on some bread, which a little pinch of minced garlic.

    • Call the Slambulance

      That gif >>>>>>>>>>>>>

    • Phoenix of the House Tendies

      Flush Bieber forever for being a lefty. That’s the ONLY thing that bothers me about him. (Hate for the Beibs is as played out as Sepultura fans bitching about Max and Igor not being in the band, nearly TWO FUCKING DECADES after the fact.)

  • Call the Slambulance

    Good: I got five pounds a great puerh tea for $12 dollars; I have really great friends; going with the flow of things is working really well; I officially transfer to the cooler store on Monday; riffs are fucking tasty; I just keep on smiling, son.
    Bad: Everything is awesome.
    Ugly: I totally zipped my wiener up into my pants the other day.

  • Edward/Breegrodamus™

    Is The Body releasing another album this year? I dunno how to even keep up with these dudes and the albums come out of nowhere.

    (RFI)

  • JW(E)G

    GOOD:
    – The Chair met its post-production funding goal (and then some)
    – I just got my bi-monthly paycheck for Lab Instruction. It ALL went to my credit card debt, but still. Feels good
    – I helped my sister move more of her stuff over into her new home. She hadn’t asked. Also feels good
    – The sun is shining, not a cloud up there. It’s almost as warm as if it were actually Summer
    – Haven’t heard from my GP about my MRI/X-Ray last Friday. I’m assuming that means no concerns

    BAD, maybe even UGLY:
    – One of my two Labs seem weirdly unwilling to follow directions or communicate with me when they need help – instead talking amongst themselves to the point of distraction for others who WANT to follow my instruction (since all Activities are individually done and submitted).
    – The other is completely unresponsive and will not talk to one another even though their activities ARE meant as group exercises to foster discussion. They (unlike the first one) also assume I have access to the *course* material, even though I don’t, and every single week I have to remind them of that fact.

    What’s super weird about this? The two Lab groups have an overlap of about 90% of the students. It’s as though they shut their brains off completely between the Labs, and don’t in any way behave consistently between each.

  • The W.

    Nosotros te amos.

  • The Bad: Wang
    The Good: Chung
    The Ugly: Tonight

    (Everybody.)

  • EsusMoose

    Good: No cavities, been able to relax and read for pleasure for the first time in a while.
    Bad: Tried working out and I’m pathetic in most areas except shoulders.
    Ugly: Aftermath of Chili+a deluge of hot sauce. Also post-infected finger molting is either gonna be this or good.

  • GOOD: Should be moving into a rental house in the next month, finally allowing me to have a space where my friends and I can practice some jamz.
    BAD: After reading your bad stuff @linkleonhart:disqus, I can’t complain about anything.
    UGLY: Trying to stop drinking soda for the millionth time. Mainly because I haven’t been drinking or eating very well lately and my poops have been the most sticky, disgusting, half-roll shits ever.

    • Awww, I like to inspire people with my crappy stuff! jajajaja!!

      Thanks, Ann!

      Also, I feel your struggle, but I’m drinking less soda because it hurts my wallet lol.

      • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

        you are an amazing dude link! you put things in perspective and remind me to make the most out of my current situation no matter what it might be…i see you as a future agent of change for the good in your country…possibly on a large scale if the winds of fate so allow…good vibes heading your way!

    • nbm02ss

      Giving up soda was hard for me. Did you try cold turkey, or cutting back gradually? The former never worked for me, but the latter eventually did.

      • I usually just cut back to 1 can or bottle a day and then slowly stop but I’m attempting cold turkey this time.

        • nbm02ss

          Good luck, seriously!

          I had forgotten what a good night sleep was until I gave that shit up.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Took me awhile to give up the nectar of the gods that is Code Red, but man I’m glad I finally did. Don’t want the diabeetus.

    • EsusMoose

      Good luck with giving up soda! I always stop drinking for some sections of the year for health and slightly because I have some poor dental health.

    • When you marrying that GF of yours, buddy. Sounds like you need to get on it!

      GL

    • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

      It’s definitely a good choice. I gave up drinking soda about 14 years ago. I still do like flavored sparking water here and there though.

  • Oli Fucking Sykes, Son.

    The Good: Week off, 3DS, Pokemon, Civilization for when I’m not playing Pokemon, The Flash for when I’m not playing either, and most of all, Newcastle avoiding relegation and even finishing above the filthy mackem scum on the final day of the season. Overall, good week.

    The Bad: Computing Exam… 3 Hours… Monday… MUST… RESIST… URGE TO KILL… (at least its my final exam and I get the rest of the week off, so I can catch more Pokemon)

    Also, Mike Ashley won’t sell Newcastle, despite already getting them relegated from the Premiership once, nearly getting us relegated twice more, mistreating countless managers and basically turning the club into a profit machine that doesn’t try, rarely wins, and sees 10th place as the best goal in the world. In the words of 52’000 fans every fucking week…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-AhorBvLbU

    The Ugly: The fact that this took 3 tries to get up. I am a moron sometimes.

    • J.R.

      Which Pokemon be thee is you playing?

      • Oli Fucking Sykes, Son.

        Omega Ruby, just beaten my Dad.

  • Bucket ‘o Blood

    GOOD:
    Playing a gig at THE Stanford university tomorrow night. It’s paying really well, too.
    BAD:
    I’m really, really behind in my paperwork for going back to school next semester, and that all is due mid June.
    THIRSTY:
    I turn 21 on Jun 15 and I’m gonna have to try really hard to not be hammered all day.

  • Dagon

    http://i.imgur.com/EPjePa4.gif

    @tyreegearhart:disqus saw this and thought of you.

    • FUCK. This makes me want to go full Propagandhi vegan.

      • Dagon

        It actually reminds me of one of the reasons I want to go to Chicago. Some dude there makes sausages out of pork cheeks and they look amazing.

    • Banned.

    • Call the Slambulance

      This actually made me laugh. It’s really fascinating to see, but it’s like a fucked up version of peek-a-boo.

      • Dagon

        Don’t let Travis Ryan see this or else he won’t b my franz

    • EsusMoose

      Slightly related, I have a friend who’s into horse stuff and wants to buy a horse she calls Cow face. So yeah cow face and Cow face

      • The W.

        wut

        • EsusMoose

          I have a friend who wants/is going to buy a horse. She has decided its name will be Cow face

    • CyberneticOrganism

      GAAAHH oh no wait that’s pretty cool.

    • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

      GAH!!!!! Well, there went my breakfast!

  • Kevin Nash & Friends

    Good: I get paid tomorrow, got a few new CDs

    Bad: Nothing I can think of

    Ugly: The amount of scratches on my favorite live album I own.

    • Sir Tapir the Based

      Helpful hint: don’t scratch your favourite live album.

      • Kevin Nash & Friends

        It was scratched when I got it from a bargain bin.

        • Sir Tapir the Based

          What album might it be?

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            In Concert by Rare Earth. I bought it for 3 dollars.

  • Paris Hilton

    MAD MAX IS FEMINIST PROPAGANDA!!!

    I AM A PROUD MENS RIGHTS ACTIVIST AS WELL AS A EQUALIST! THIS MOVIE IS NOT MADE FOR MEN!! THIS MOVIE IS MADE TO MAKE MEN LOOK BAD, JUST LIKE THE COURTS DEMAND MEN PAY FOR EVERYTHING IN DIVORCES! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SIMPLER TIME WHEN WOMEN OWNED ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, SO THEY HAD NO ASSETS AND THEREFORE COULDN’T AFFORD TO DIVORCE!? PEOPLE WERE HAPPY AND EQUAL BACK THEN!!

    MAD MAX IS JUST THE START TO THE MATERNITY RISING UP! MEN NEED TO STICK TOGETHER TO PREVENT THESE FEMINAZIS FROM RULING US!

    MENINIST- AND PROUD OF IT!!

    P.S. Is there any women on here? I’ll treat you like a princess. I’m so fucking lonely.

    • Image searched “MENINIST”. Take a look at dat dere avatar because of course.
      http://i.imgur.com/EVXAn4E.jpg

      • CyberneticOrganism

        They should really use this one

        • /DEAD

        • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

          Or “The glass is full of my own cum because I’m fucking pathetic and liked to be dominated by my ex-girlfriend.”

          WAIT. No. Scratch that.

          Why am I so explicit and vulgar today?

          • Didn’t you say like a week ago that you don’t understand the whole BDSM thing?

          • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

            Yes, as in latex and ropes and shit. I’m talking about cum eating and like non-restrained type shit.

          • Paris Hilton

            I thought BDSM was Blackened Death Speed Metal. This explains all the weird responses to my Craigslist ad, “Looking to start BDSM group.”

          • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS
          • Holy fuck; I pray JO Crystals become the next big thing–for all of time.

            (P.S. where–and WHY–did you find this?)

          • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

            I don’t really remember. I think was either the Lolporn tumblr, or Self Defense Family’s tumblr.

          • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

            Local sex offender registry?

          • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

            I’m afraid to know what that guy’s got going on in his basement!

          • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

            Probably a lot of JO. And with crystals.

          • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

            And some Ariel Castro action going on at his place.

          • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

            Haha my best friend’s side project is on here, speaking of bukake!

            https://myspace.com/intestinalpazuzu/music/song/bukkake-2774177-2752144

      • Paris Hilton

        What a groce belief system :/ I cant imagine the mental gymnastics you’d have to do to be a meninist. I was actually on the fence about seeing Mad Max until I read a MRA article about how it’s “feminist propaganda”. Because MRAs and “anti-feminists” have exceptionally bad tastes in everything I went and saw it. Sure as shit, it was awesome! And they portrayed strong female characters really well which was fucking rad!

      • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin
      • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin
    • KJM

      Again, it’s all the fault of Hitlery Klintoon and the Tactical Women’s Assault Team(T.W.A.T.). WAKE UP WHITE MAN!

    • J.R.

      MEDIOCRE!!!!

  • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

    GOOD: New hockey session begins Sunday!

    BAD AND UGLY AND BAD: The US Postal Service. I ranted about my issues briefly last week, but here’s the lowdown: I ordered a pair of gloves that were originally a 1-day shipment. They were slated for last Thursday. Nothing. Then it says Friday. Nothing. Then Saturday the package was sent to the wrong route/truck and was delayed and unable to be delivered. Then I finally got it on Tuesday because of they holiday weekend. BUT GET THIS! It gets even better! I had another package that was supposed to be here on Tuesday. Nothing. Wednesday, still said it was coming Tuesday, apparently they are time travelers. Thursday was the original date is was set for, but was not delivered. Now it says it is “In Transit – Delayed”. Today? Still not here. If it’s not here tomorrow, I’m shitting in my mail box. These people can’t be this incompetent. Delivering shit is not hard. FedEx got my package here two days early, UPS got here a day early. USPS? Fuck all.

    TL;DR: If you are involved in the postal service, I want to rip off your head and shit down your neck right now.

    UGLY: My waistline after not going to the gym for two months since my job is 4-9pm. Gotta find a way to work out. Also; my new masturbating quirks are getting increasingly kinkier and it is worrisome, but I’m not going to spill that load here. Just needed to get it out, self-admitting is the first step lol.

    • INDUBITABEARD

      perhaps you can find a way to incorporate working out into your kinky masturbating quirks?

      • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

        I like to keep work at work, so to speak.

        Gloves. They are hockey gloves. For playing hockey. I don’t want people to get the wrong impression after that last part, haha.

        • INDUBITABEARD
          • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

            Would it makes things less or more awkward if I said that the other item still in shipping limbo was called grip tape? And is used to make the shaft of a hockey stick extra grippy. It helps with holding the stick and gives me a better hold when I shoot.

          • INDUBITABEARD

            I always preferred a slippery shaft, myself.

      • J.R.

        masturbating, probably.

    • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

      Lol, you’re juicing your weasel?

  • Lacertilian

    Link you’re a champ. As much as it is depressing, I still enjoy reading about your trials and tribulations in VZ. We need a way to funnel $ your way.
    I also love when you say malandros, while I may not be sure of the exact translation, it makes me happy.

    Good: Our team made the cricket comp final and now we have to beat some malandros into the dust, my knee is better and I’m ready to rip in and bowl some heat. Also, going to a Brazilian BBQ restaurant for a mate’s 30th tonight, going to be huge.
    Bad: There will be a hangover involved for the final tomorrow. Could get messy.
    Ugly: The strewn cadavers I plan to create with my bowling.

    • J.R.

      Looks like it means something like “rascals”.
      Now assimilating malandros into lexicon

      • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

        I was thinking it was a local slang for ‘cabrones’ (trouble makers).

        • Check Lacertillian response!

          • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

            Aye! Ok, here’s my really bad drunk Spanish. Yo vida en Puerto Rico for 8 anos, y recalado pequito. Bah, message me on Yahoo or Facebook, I speak it alot better than I write it! :-p

      • Check my Lacertillian response.

    • Brasilian cuisine is awesome!! Hope you had a great time.

      Malandro is thug, robber.

      Something like these:

      https://ovario.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/el-hampa-unida.jpg

      Glad you liked this nonsense, jajaja!!

  • J.R.

    Good: JR Lady got an interview for some weird hospital thing Monday, and while I do not understand what it means, we are all pretty excited. An amigo of mine gifted me some goofy game and we’ve been bro-ing out. Maximum fun. Radical!

    Bad: Other Bro’s Lady defended her Master’s thesis today, so that was cool. Learned a lot! Judging professors were not as impressed. She has till the end of June to fix it. Apparently they are notorious for being extreme chodes.

    Ugly: me doing P90x. Lol thought I was in better shape.
    But the soreness is so good. I love being sore because I love complaining. It’s like my favorite thing to do.

    Also, why so many pictures of Toileters in these comments? U ppl nasty

  • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

    Good: Link, of course! On my own end, chill week. And new Virgin Steele!
    Bad: Once Human!!!!
    Ugly: Serinda Swan

    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/83/52/f4/8352f40d9496dfacabbec82e7060b3cf.jpg

    • Hawt. What happened to Conan?

      • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

        He’s back on Facebook. Dunno if he’s back on Disqus though.

  • I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post, Link. You always seem to remain positive in shitty situations. It inspires me not to start whining when there is traffic; at least I have car. As a closing statement, here’s some grind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSzRxhQJ_bc

  • Phoenix of the House Tendies

    Good: It’s a nice day out and sunsets make me happy.

    Bad: Because of work I have to miss Horrendous and Pyrron playing tonight at St. Vitus. This will be the second time I will miss Horrendous and it makes me want to burn down a small house.

    The Ugly: The “debates” that pop up when you tell people Tarantino sucks…oh wait.

    • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

      I generally don’t mind Tarantino, but Death Proof is in my bottom ten films ever seen, and that includes films that make Manos look like Citizen Kane.

      • KJM

        Didn’t even bother seeing it, and I like Tarantino. I just don’t think that he’s God’s gift to cinema as many do.

        • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

          He can craft a vivid scene and construct a tale nicely, he’s generally entertaining. But he really ain’t much cop when it comes to real human connection or purpose.

  • Wait_Unicorns

    Kim Jong Un sent me. Hi!

    • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

      Hola! Welcome to the Toilet!

      • Wait_Unicorns

        I am not sure. I think I know you. 😛

        • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

          Maaaaaaaaaaaaybe.

          • Wait_Unicorns

            This is the best song ever. Thank you for the reminder.

          • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

            De nada, enjoy the Toilet! We’re a quirky lot but friendly!

          • J.R.

            speak for yourself.
            I mean I’m good but that “Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin” individual seems pretty shady

          • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin
        • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

          Haha yes, you’ve heard the legends about your Supreme Leader! :-p

    • ¡Bienvenido/a!

  • Stockhausen

    Link rules. That is all.

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    Good: Got a ticket for Bloodstock the other day. Camping with the lovely girl I hung out with at Incineration fest a couple of weeks back, and her friends. Should be lots of fun. I don’t have many real life friends, let alone friends into the same sorta shit I am, and though I’ve not been to a proper weekend festival for years I mastered them by the last one I went to, so I’m really looking forward to it. Also, work is starting to get active again, enough inquiries are coming in that I’ve not had to sit down and do cataloguing. Cataloguing is my least favourite part of my job, I can do it fine but it makes me sleepy and I become very aware that I’m not that efficient at doing it. I like doing inquiries ’cause they get me up and and about looking for stuff.

    Bad: Even though I only have mild OCD, it does mean that when its my locking up day at work the process can take up to a half hour or more instead of ten minutes because I have to convince my stupid brain that everything is locked and turned off ok. This stresses me the fuck out and kills any chances of me not drinking a bottle of Bells or whatever late Friday nights. I’d really like to get back into having some regular mostly sober weekends but I just don’t have the willpower to withstand feeling a bit shitty and needing to take my mind of with sweet oblivious booze. Also, fuck bad filing. Specifically, misfiling within prolific authors, causing conscientious fucks like me to search through the whole lot in case what is actually needed has been misfiled. Also, the old timey tradition of getting a bunch of contracts and correspondence, stapling them all together and then folding them a bunch of times and stuffing them into a small rectangular parcel such as might be sent around in a vacuum tube or fired from a cannon. Major pain in the ass to unstaple, unfold and then keep from folding back up while being scanned. Fuck that.

    I did not start out meaning for this to be this long.

    • It was a solid read, buddy. Hang tight!

      Have you been to a festival before? sounds/looks like a great time. I am quite jealous

      GL

      • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

        Thanks man! I went to a half dozen ’03-’08. Super fun, though I found it took a few to figure out how to maximise enjoyment and avoid doing stupid shit. Then lost touch with all my friends for a while, got convinced I was too old for the whole camping thing etc. But now I’m back into metal and socialising and all that, I’m ready to start a new round.

        • Sounds like a great time! Let us know how Bloodstock goes!

          GL

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            Will do!

      • KJM

        I’ve only done Lollapalooza and Ozzfest. I like being able to sleep in my own bed and I lost my taste for camping once I got out of grade school.

  • Oh hey, I have not done one of these in awhile! Sweet… here we go.

    The Good: I have a friends wedding to go to this weekend. Should be a rocking good time. Also, I order the remainder parts I need to put my jeeps engine back together. Should have my 1948 jeep up and running soon.
    The Bad: Might be hungover Sunday morning.
    The Ugly: It is going to rain tomorrow (suck it California!). Which means I cannot go fishing till the wedding
    The Reality: I have nothing to complain about.
    Suggestions to California: Collect all the liberal tears shed daily and use them to alleviate your drought.
    What Link Should Do: Move to the United States.

    <3

    GL

    • KJM

      California, home of notable liberals like Clint Eastwood and former Governor Arnold Schwartzenegger not to mention legendary leftist icon Ronald Reagan. ^_^

      • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

        Or as David J Stewart would have him, Rainbow Ronnie.

      • ERRRVRY DAY I’M RUSTLING!

        GL

        • KJM

          Rustlemania: The showcase of the immortals.

          • I swear I laugh so hard (to myself) every time I want to say “collect the liberal tears” out loud.

            /currentlychuckling

            GL

          • KJM

            I could always discuss why I would happily trade every Maiden and Dokken show I ever saw for just one 1970 Pink Floyd show, but that would be over the top. Besides, I’m getting sleepy.

      • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

        Well, it’s also where Tom Waits is from. And the greatest actor of all time, Rob Schneider!

    • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

      I have generally found a glass of cold water before bedtime and a jug on for side for any waking up to be pretty handy in cases of potential deadly deadly hangovers, though I don’t know how much actual medical use there is in this.

      • There is plenty of logic behind that approach. I just hope I enforce that logic when it comes time to!

        GL

        • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

          It can be a struggle…

      • KJM

        Has anyone ever tried the pickle juice remedy that Vinnie Paul mentioned recently in an interview?

        • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

          That actually works. It’s an old Polish remedy, though, not just Vinnie’s own concoction.

          • KJM

            I’d never heard of it before that interview so that’s why I attributed it to him.

        • Guppusmaximus

          Pickle juice may work because it’s not a lack of water that causes your hangover but a lack of electrolytes – sodium being a common one. I used to have Gatorade or Pedialyte w/ Saltines for breakfast after binge drinking. {haven’t had any alcohol in 5+ years}

    • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

      Link in the US would rule!!!!

    • Now I saw you.

      Thanks, GL!

  • KJM

    OPETH RULES!!!

    (runs away laughing)

    • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

      I prefer Still Life and stuff but I think new Opeth is still really really great.

      • KJM

        As do I. I posted that as sort of a not-so-private joke.

  • nbm02ss

    Don’t know if it’s been mentioned, but the new Paradise Lost has leaked. Do with that information what you will. I’m digging it so far.

  • KJM

    Any xkcd fans in the house? This is a good one.
    https://a.disquscdn.com/uploads/mediaembed/images/2102/8166/original.jpg

    • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

      Randall Munroe is a great dude.

      • KJM

        And there’s always this classic from Cyanide & Happiness

        http://imgur.com/gallery/Iim4zX5

        • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

          I hope your mom jokes never leave internet culture.

          • KJM

            Agreed, along with dick and fart jokes. They are the backbone of the internet along with porn and cats.

            Yo moms is so fat, passing spaceships use her gravitational pull for a slingshot effect.

            Yo moms is so fat, black holes get sucked into her butt.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            Dangit, I was making a rollie but I snorted with laughter and now I gotta pick it up off the floor.

          • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

            Lol, I haven’t played or even heard of the dozens since 6th grade. Not exactly something you play where I’m from!

          • Scrimm

            Yo momma is so ugly her parents had to feed her with a slingshot.

          • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin
          • CyberneticOrganism

            Yo momma so fat she can swallow the whole world and poop it out because she can eat a lot I guess.

            Fuck.

          • J.R.

            yo momma so fat when she sits around the house the sits around the house.

          • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

            Yo mama’s so stupid, she chipped her tooth on a vibrator.

          • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

            Yo mama’s so poor, when she lights a match, the roaches sing “stomp your hands, clap your feet, praise the lord, we got heat!”.

        • Oscar Meyer’s Wiener Ate Putin

          My favorite one (it was featured every week in the Chicago Reader):

          http://img0.joyreactor.com/pics/post/comics-Cyanide-and-Happiness-selfie-stick-1755953.gif

          • KJM

            Perfect.

    • nbm02ss

      I <3 xkcd.

      This isn't xkcd, obviously, but still funny as fuck:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ_BtZ-5O60

  • KJM

    Being overtired is a strange buzz unto itself. Good night.

    • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

      Don’t let the bed bugs paralyse.

  • Oscar Aguiar

    Hola Link:

    Me agradó bastante que nos compartieras un poco de tu vida en Venezuela… Como mexicano me identifico bastante porque la rutina que platicas es practicamente la misma que vivo aquí. Seguido me deprimo y siento ira por tanta pendejada que hay en mi entorno y no poderlo cambiar, pero se ve que tú traes la buena vibra a pesar de todo.

    Espero poder leer más posts de tu autoría en el futuro.
    Saludos bro!!!

    • Bienvenidos a la Toilet de Hell

    • Hola, Óscar.

      Pasé por acá porque uno de los compañeros me estuvo diciendo que me dejó unos mensajes por acá y no los había leído.

      Muchas gracias por tus buenas palabras. Muy agradecido que pasaras por acá.

      Pues, sí. Todos los países latinoamericanos compartimos muchos aspectos acerca de los malos servicios públicos. Pero solo nos queda seguir trabajando y construyendo un mejor futuro con nuestras ideas y nuestras acciones. De nada nos sirve quedarnos en el papel cuando tenemos mucho por arreglar.

      Muchas veces también me entristece nuestras situaciones, y me caigo mucho porque soy muy sensible con lo que me rodea: las injusticias, la mala calidad de vida. Pero, con mi trabajo, mi familia y mis ganas de ayudar en la Universidad se me pasa un poco porque es una razón más para salir. Siempre he pensado que mi vida es una aventura y por eso la trato con diversión y seriedad a la vez.

      Tengo varios artículos, ya por acá. Los muchachos me aceptaron como escritor y vienen más (Me disculpo por el mál inglés, como en la publicidad de Open English, jajajaja).

      Muchísimas gracias por tus buenas vibras. Eres libre de agregarme a alguna de las redes en dónde me encuentro (FB, Twitter…) por si quieres charlar sobre música y compartir juntos recomendaciones de nueva música.

      ¡Un placer! Buenas energías desde este rincón 🙂

  • Guppusmaximus

    Didn’t get to read this yesterday. Our discussion about my Catholic African HIV Genocide Hypothesis occurred prior to me leaving a shitty day of work behind. So, when I got home I let my mind wander with a movie.

    Great read! Your positiveness in the midst of a shit storm is admirable and it’s sad that things have only gotten worse for Venezuela since I visited Caracas / Isla Margarita. We need to smuggle you into the US:)