Flush It Friday: Streptococcus? No Thank Yah-cocccus!

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Howdy friends. It is Friday afternoon which means it’s time to get all of the bad vibes out and spinkick the weekend in the neck.

This week I’ve gotta give a massive FLUSH to streptococcal pharyngitis. That’d be strep throat to you Latin-ign’ant wretches. I woke up Monday morning feeling weaker than Oklahoma beer. This wasn’t entirely unexpected; I split my time the day before between working out and drinking, a combination that has no winner. I managed to shamble to my office and shiver and shake and sweat though the day before getting home and collapsing in a pathetic heap. Fast forward to today and I’ve gone though a few fist-fulls of OTC meds, some plague-grade antibiotics, sweated through two sets of sheets, and watched the first two seasons of Friday Night Lights (don’t judge me, your brain does weird things at a 104-degree fever). Now that I’m mostly better I’ve got a pile of work in front of me that I didn’t do because I was sicker than all hell. FLUSH IT ALL.

ON A BETTER NOTE:

Gas is cheap, year-end lists are mostly done, and High on Fire have announced a new record AND a tour! Hot dog!

We don’t have much info on High on Fire’s follow-up to 2012’s De Vermis Mysteriis other than the fact that it is a real thing and it’ll be out in 2015. And that’s good enough for this hombre. Just announced tour dates are below:

January 6      Birmingham, AL         Zydeco

January 7      West Columbia, SC    New Brookland Tavern

January 8      Richmond, VA           The Broadberry

January 9      Brooklyn, NY             Saint Vitus Bar

January 10    Hartford, CT              Webster Underground

January 11    Portland, ME              Port City Music Hall

January 13    Poughkeepsie, NY     The Loft at The Chance Theatre

January 14    Providence, RI           Simon’s 677

 

It’s an open swim below but if you wanna play along, let us know what’s eating at your Gilbert grapes and follow it up with a positive vibe! WEEKEND!

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  • Xan

    Flush exams. Next week is exam week. Horray….

    • Death

      I liked exam weeks. Now as a teacher I like them even more

      • Xan

        I just want to get them over with. I have an eidetic memory so it isn’t difficult for me to memorize a ton of shit. I just hate the anticipation of seeing what is on it.

        • Death

          Best feeling is when you hear a student say that they didn’t read at all and then giving them a 4 (failed) on the test.

          • Xan

            As a student, it annoys me when I hear people complaining that they aren’t making a good grade when they’re not studying, reading, or doing the homework. It’s as if it is almost to much to ask them to simply show up for the class.

        • Uh oh, careful what you say around Xan, people! He will remember!

          • Xan

            Much like an elephant, I never forget.

    • I like your HD avatar :3

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain
  • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

    I realized that once again HoF would not tour Finland. So flush it.

    • Stockhausen

      Positive: You live in Scandinavia. I spent 98% of my waking hours lamenting the fact that I’m not in Norway at that very second.

      • Death

        #FinlandIsNotScandinaviaHowManyTimesDoWeHaveToTellThis

        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          Good point. It’s just Sweden, Norway, and Denmark.

        • Stockhausen

          #CloseEnoughWithHighlyComparableQualitiesofLifeandGeographySorryForNotSayingNordicRegion

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            #GetRektByABear

          • Stockhausen

            #GettingRektByThantixafathInstead,SmoochesSorryI’mAnIgnorantAmerican

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            #CanIJoinTheRekkingWithThantifaxathLiekRightNaow

          • Stockhausen

            #BroGetInHere

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            “BroGotInThere

          • Death

            #TheyAreQuiteSimiliarIndeedAndIWillForgiveYouHoney

          • Stockhausen

            #ThankYou,WouldTotallyLiveinFinlandOverUS/10

          • Death

            #ICouldSmuggleYouHereInsideMyAnusIfYouWantTo

          • Stockhausen

            #OnlyIfIt’sMetaphysically

          • Death

            #IAmAfraidICantGuaranteeThat

          • Stockhausen

            #WorththeRisk

      • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

        See below. Other than that I’ve seen more than 20 shows last three months, all good. I guess that’s the positive, especially since A show = 10€ tickets

  • VVorld Peace

    The good: I got my manuscript trimmed down and submitted. The bad: The return email was addressed to Mrs. W.

    • Stockhausen

      To be fair, Laura is quite prolific these days. It’s an easy mistake.

      • VVorld Peace

        She is the wind beneath my sails.

  • Stockhausen

    Glad you’re better Joe, next time I see strep throat I’m punching it in the balls for you.

    One another note, one of my middle school students said “I friggin’ hate you” to me today (I made her walk through my room instead of sprinting while carrying a chair and music stand). Kids are awful.

    Edit: My positive note is that my other classes are awesome and I like my job.

    • Tell her that’s she’s a little bitch and should fuck off and die.
      Teacher of the year!

      • Stockhausen

        I did get to unleash on her a little bit for that. Educationally, of course.

        EDUCATIONAL BODYSLAM

      • “Now, you go to the Void, little prick”

        And you send it to a hole inside one of the tiles in the floor.

        • VVorld Peace

          This isn’t Venezuela, dude. We can’t do that here.

          • Your country need to learn a lot of how to discipline your kidz

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpi6VXk2F3E

          • VVorld Peace

            The lack of beating is why American children are soft.

          • I don’t know if beating or don’t (I don’t have kids, yet). But, I think that in all the world the kids need more care, discipline and concentration. It’s the whole system and their parts that are conditioning a bunch of little brats with no sense of values, IMHO.

          • VVorld Peace

            I was being sarcastic, my friend. You’re right!

          • Professor Frink, Professor Frink
            He’ll make you laugh, He’ll make you think

          • Death

            So Jim-Jim, what did you think of my list?

          • three of the items i have you to thank for… Solstafir, Manes, and Kayo Dot! but that Opeth album can FLUSH itself right down the toilet…

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            Opeth is for people not nerdy enough to listen to power metal.

          • Death

            But Solstafir wasn’t on the top 10. Only honorable mention. Also, flush you for flushing Opeth

          • so i’m going to have to look up your other picks that i don’t know about, and i’m sure i’ll enjoy them too!

          • Death

            One of them is afrobeat/funk

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            where have you been ? missed seeing you on FFB. Kukk has left us as well as the push aside the pool tables for slayer mean spirited riotact. Things are falling apart. Your negativity is needed sir.

          • Death

            Kukk has left? Why? Riotact hates Slayer? I like him more now. Also, I may not return there, not feeling the site anymore. On another note, have you already made your best of 2014 list?

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            I invited Cannibal Slayer 666, but no sign of him. 🙁

          • Death

            I don’t think he’s coming here. He enjoys life there. He’ll rustle more jimmies back in FFB

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            He’s a good dude. He’s like the opposite of you. He always finds something positive even if it’s shit music.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            No, not yet. I find the creating of lists a slow process.

          • Death

            Have you seen my list of poserdom?

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            no, where is it ?

          • Death

            It can be found in the last article’s comment section
            http://www.toiletovhell.com/the-best-albums-of-2014-toilet-ov-hell-community-picks/

          • Edward #negrod4eva

            I saw it, it conquered many lesser lists.

          • Death

            thanks man! Your list was darn tootin great as well. I need to delve deeper on some of the bands on your list,

          • Mr.CustodialArts

            I wouldn’t call you a “poseur”…but I was curious as to if you wear a monocle?

          • Death

            I don’t, but I could. My right eye is weaker than the left, so I could get a monocle for it.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            then you have to have the hat, like mr peanut, or do you get that product where you live ?

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I’ve always wanted a monocle and a top hat. It seems like the kind of thing a cartoonish super villain would use.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            i believe the penguin has the hat and monocle.

          • Death

            There’s probably places where I can get top hats.

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            Rather laborious

          • Guacamole Jim

            Riotact hates Slayer??

            I’m pretty impressed, actually.

          • KJM

            RA only hates Slayer now because 1/2 the band is gone.

          • OldMetalHead

            No one should be happy about that.

          • VVorld Peace

            Death, you just made me so happy. Also, I can back a lot of your list.

          • more beer

            He said he`s got a girlfriend.

          • Edward #negrod4eva

            I’ve been playing Opeth lately and really enjoying it.

            =/

            I guess our crew is pretty split on it…

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            Blackwater Park changed my life for the better.

          • Death

            The ones that don’t like it (lifeloving posers) vs the ones that do like it (the cool kids)

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            I’m hooked…

          • KJM

            The beatings will continue until morale improves.

          • more beer

            There`s that plus the things they are being taught now. They play sports and no score is kept in some places and they all get an award. How do they learn like that. There are winners and losers in life that’s how it is. When everyone wins it gives them that sense of entitlement. This is a huge problem now.

          • Howard Dean

            Damn. That was a pretty righteous throttling.

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

      Why didn’t you just give the kid Sweet Chin Music? That would make your students obey you.

    • more beer

      The kid was probably pissed because the parents let her do whatever she wants and you would not. Awful kids tend to be the result of awful parents.

    • JWG

      Legit query. Define “middle school” in terms of grade range. And is that range a standard for just the School District you’re in, or does it go wider?

      Here in B.C. the term is used everywhere that it caught on over the old system of going straight from “elementary” (K-7) to “high school” (8-12) …

      But there’s no Province-wide standard year range; so from one school district to another “middle school” could be as far off as two years different (5-7 so “high school” can still be the old 5-year thing versus 7-9 so “high school” is just 10-12).

      • Stockhausen

        It varies a little bit, but typically middle school is 6-8th grade.

        • JWG

          I completely understand (though still don’t condone) that girl’s behavior then.

          From my own vague recollection of being an awkward teenager, girls in that age range are very nearly the worst kind of people. And that’s demonstrated regularly to authority figures, most peers not within their social circle, most peers within their social circle … and occasionally dead people they have to learn things about.

          I far prefer teaching at a University level. I get far more respect (so zero risk of becoming Rodney Dangerfield).

  • NefariousDude

    Its been a great friday. Spent like 5 minutes at the dmv. got some new cards in hearthstone and am currently DEVOURING all of your year end lists

    • Stockhausen

      5 minutes at the DMV is unbelievable. I mean, I believe you, but you know, hyperbole.

      • NefariousDude

        I had to renew my registration and they had the snazzy kiosk! technology is my fren

  • Oh, God.. 🙁 I hope you’re better, bro! Good vibes!

  • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

    A High on Fire, Sleep, and Cannabis Corpse tour would be cool.

    • Jormungandr

      I got high from just reading that.

  • NefariousDude

    Get better joe. EAT ALL THE ICE CREAM

  • YourLogicIsFlushed

    We should buy a ton of gas and store it and sell it when prices go up! Who’s in? I need a wild card.

    • NefariousDude

      I JUST CUT THIS THREADS BREAKS!

      BYAHHHHH!

    • VVorld Peace

      I’ll be the looks.

      • Stockhausen

        Mmmm, I thought I would be the looks.

    • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

      This was already an episode of Its Always Sunny

  • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu
  • Howard Dean

    Thug life:

    http://www.laverdad.com/images/2013/octubre/20/38527c.jpg

    P.S. This is the picture of the guy wielding the hatchet in that intense Venezuelan hand disfiguring video our buddy Link posted on facebook. Byah!

    • #RIPBarney

      • Howard Dean

        [In a Walter Sobchak voice, holding a coffee can of ashes] Barney was a good man.

        But not really. Barney was kind of a cocksucker.

    • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

      Why are my posts hasing to be approved!?

      • Death

        Maybe because no one likes you?
        I joke! Or do I?

        • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

          Die not in obscurity!

          • Death

            I know I’ll never die, I scream up at the sky.
            You have arrived

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            Boooo Hisss

          • Death

            You’re a Boohiss!
            Boohiss:
            3. n. One who excessively uses the marijuana plant and/or alcoholic beverage.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            Guilty!

            Bought the old lady a bottle of Wild Turkey Rare Breed for Krampus while we were out.

          • Death

            I hope you said that guilty like stereotypical TV gays say it.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            You know this, girlfriend!

          • KJM

            Well, since I only shoot Fentanyl into my eyeballs, that leaves me out.

  • Hubert, Goat ov Doom and Void

    I am very disappointed in the lack of Demon by Gazpacho on all the lists. It’s not metal at all, but I think most metal fans can appreciate that album. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0A03LT3UEEI

    • This album fucking rules/10.

    • NefariousDude

      wow im really diggin this

    • YourLogicIsFlushed

      I too find this enjoyable. Never heard of it prior to now.

    • I’ve listened Swans. That Gazpacho will be my next prey 🙂

      • Hubert, Goat ov Doom and Void

        What did you think of Swans?

        • I was very surprised. Seeing the tags of noise and industrial scares at first. But I really dug that record in some parts. I think that it’s very dense and long. But I payed attention to this track and the overall feeling was very great:

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZMU9UgL0LY

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            They have a VERY diverse discograohy. You should check The Seer album if you haven’t.
            They are known to shut of air conditioning from gig places and lock the doors so no one gets out then play some song intros for fifteen minutes. (Don’t know if they do this anymore though)

          • jajajajajaja: “you gonna hear us!!!” **close the door**

          • Death

            Check their early albums for more noisy and industrial stuff. Their live albums are quite beastly as well.

          • Thanks, Death!

          • Death

            No problemo, mate. You should also check out Soundtracks For The Blind. My favourite of theirs. It is quite long (almost 2 and a half hours) bit it’s so gooooooooooooooooood!

  • Edward #negrod4eva

    This is my weekend “on” at my second job so it isn’t really a weekend at all.

    *flush*

    I am going out with a new chick tonight though, and the weather is warm, so it will be easier to go out looking all fancy and shit.

    • Hubert, Goat ov Doom and Void

      Warmth is for posers *flush*

    • Stockhausen

      Hold the door extra open for her.

      • #LoveAdvicesWithStockhausen!

        • Stockhausen

          It never fails, unless it does!

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

        That’s great advice. It’s common sense to do things like that because women love men who hold doors open for them.

    • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

      #TrillFancy

    • Renan Ribeiro

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cml9s0C2_Uw

      Be sure to listen to this before you go.

    • What’s your secret Mr. Handsome? I need tips.

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

        Buy her Cinnabon. Women love Cinnabon.

        • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

          truth

      • Edward #negrod4eva

        JJM these are all women I have met from online dating. It’s a grind (for me, maybe not for some other dudes, lol) but one tip I can offer to to stay at it. I have more tips as well.

        • E#, i’ve tried the online dating thing and WHOA is it a difficult terrain to navigate. i might grill you on this topic somewhere else…

          • Edward #negrod4eva

            Absolutely, feel free anytime.

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

        My secret is I go for women I know. Once I know them well enough I try to get them to think about whether they may have feelings for me or not. They usually don’t but there is quite a few who realized they did have feelings for me.

    • Max

      How on earth do you manage to date so many women while listening to so much metal and/or power electronics?!?

      • Edward #negrod4eva

        Haha, Max, it is a wonder I am still standing. Tell you what though, I have gone on a lot of dates but I am not simultaneously dating that many women. I went on a fourth date on Thursday and a first date last night, but that’s pretty much it for the current pool. I liked the chick I went out with last night. I do consume a lot of music, but compared to a few people in our community and a few people outside of it I keep up with regularly, I’m like a babe in the woods.

        I still IOU a response to your Favorite Albums of All Time. I was genuinely impressed with your list. I have been thinking of the best way to respond so I will say this: most of my favorite metal albums have come out in the last four or so years. A list of my favorite albums of all time would like be comprised of mostly underground hip hop, serious. Of course, I have listened to many of the “classics” from metal, second wave black metal stuff, Effigy of the Forgotten, old Cynic; about four years ago is when I took the nosedive into heavy metal and extreme music and it overtook my long standing obsession with underground hip hop. My fascination with power electronics is a well documented new thing. When you recommended Sutcliffe to me in July I believe that was the first PExxx I heard. Even noise, in a broader sense, is new to me. I think I just started listening to Prurient seriously this year. Hard to believe, lol. When I find something I like I generally tend to talk about it ad nauseum.

        I noticed you had Colored Sands on your list on favorite albums of all time and it was the newest and really the only new album on the list.

        • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

          Here’s my 25 favorite albums of all time.

          1. Strangers In The Night-UFO
          2. The Crimson Idol-WASP
          3. Slaughter Of The Soul-At The Gates
          4. Colony-In Flames
          5. Disintegration-The Cure
          6. Toto IV-Toto
          7. Todd Rundgren’s Utopia-Utopia
          8. Bloodrock 3-Bloodrock
          9. Point Of Know Return-Kansas
          10. The Silence In Black And White-Hawthorne Heights
          11. Agents Of Fortune-Blue Oyster Cult
          12. Rock In A Hard Place-Aerosmith
          13. Memoria Vetutia III: Saturnian Poetry-Blut Aus Nord
          14. Close To Home-Grand Funk Railroad
          15. What’s Going On-Marvin Gaye
          16. Burning From The Inside-Bauhaus
          17. XIII-Mushroomhead
          18. Fragile-Yes
          19. LD50-Mudvayne
          20. Long Distance Voyager-Moody Blues
          21. XIII-Mushroomhead
          22. Forever Changes-Love
          23. Deface The Music-Utopia
          24. Rio-Duran Duran
          25. 101-Depeche Mode

        • Max

          “I noticed you had Colored Sands on your list on favorite albums of all time and it was the newest and really the only new album on the list.”

          LOL. I know! It’s pretty incongruous, isn’t it? Anybody looking at my list would be forgiven for thinking that I’d pretty much stopped listening to metal after the ’90s and only just gotten back into it with Colored Sands. And Gorguts isn’t even a new band! Nevertheless, that record really did resonate with me in a way that no record has in a long time.

          The easy explanation is: I’m like a lot of people in that I was most musically impressionable and inquisitive between 17 and 24 years old, so my tastes reflect that period. I’m perfectly happy to cop to that since it’s just such an obvious explanation when you look at my list. And I’m more than happy to admit that just because, say, Symphonies of Sickness is a flawless album to me, it doesn’t necessarily imply that a 17 year-old today ought to hear that record now and be impressed with it by any measure. Because even I can hear that it’s very dated by today’s standards – just as Bathory’s second album sounded very dated to me when I checked it out nearly ten years after it was released. So nobody should take my tastes as gospel!

          But another question is: What WAS I listening to in the ’00s and why did so little of it end up represented on my list? (From memory Bloodbath’s the only one, and I can assure you that’s a nostalgia-related pick as well, considering their retro style.) At a glance at my collection – and excluding purchases that aren’t just newer albums by old bands – there’s a bunch of records from the last ten years that I considered good enough to own:

          Baroness – Yellow and Green
          Altar of Plagues – Mammal
          Sunn0))) – Monoliths and Dimensions
          Dying Fetus – Descend Into Depravity
          Whitechapel – A New Era of Corruption
          Genghis Tron – Board Up the House
          Gojira – The Way of All Flesh
          Hate Eternal – I, Monarch
          Meshuggah – Obzen
          Miseration – The Mirroring Shadow
          Triptykon – Eparistera Damones

          Now, I can tell you that nearly every record above has got at least a couple of songs on it that impressed the HELL out of me, just as much as anything impressed me in my impressionable youth – songs that were not only good in their own right but that I also feel really helped to carry metal forward in some way. Songs like Genghis Tron’s “I Won’t Come Back Alive”, Hate Eternal’s “Behold Judas”, Meshuggah’s “Bleed”, Gorjira’s “Oroborus”…those are all as powerful and cutting-edge as anything I ever heard. If you had gone back in time and visited me in the ’90s with a mixtape of those songs and told me that this was what metal was going to sound like in the future, I’d have been very stoked and reassured. I’d say the same about current records like the new Bloodshot Dawn or Archspire. (For the record: the new Beyond Creation probably will be ranked as an all-time fave of mine in the future; it’s just a little too early to tell.)

          The difference is that, with exception of Sunn0)))’s Monoliths and Dimensions, NONE of the records listed above struck me as having the “All killer, no filler” status that most of my all-time faves have if they’re going to qualify (or, if they aren’t totally killer with no filler, they’re near to it). There is, unfortunately, also a lot of material on most of those ’00s records that I get pretty bored by. They’re still records worth owning on the strength of their good tracks; but honestly I do skip over a lot of the other tracks on ’em.

          I would chalk a lot of that up to just being harder to impress as one gets older, but I have noticed a lot of other people saying the same thing nowadays: That metal records seem to have more filler than they used to. Indeed, this has been said about music in general and has been given as an explanation for why many people download individual songs rather than full albums – and for why CD sales have declined. Again, I’m not totally convinced by that explanation, but it certainly seems to apply in my case.

          It is also worth mentioning that I only got broadband internet to my home at the beginning of last year; so I’ve probably discovered more new bands in the last 24 months than I have in the last decade – even though I’m not as proactive about looking for new stuff as some of you guys are.

          At some stage Ed, I really think you need to write a TovH piece about your transition from hip hop to metal and beyond – you’ve touched on it before but I want to read something very in-depth that starts right at the beginning of your hip-hop odyssey and works right up to “the turn”. There have always been serious fans of both genres; but I’ve long felt that the definitive account of the dual rap/metal afficionado is yet to be written, anywhere. I think you’re the guy to do it. You already have enough of the metal knowledge base under your belt; it goes without saying that you’ve got hip hop totally covered.

          • Edward #negrod4eva

            What’s up again Max –

            Starting from the back –

            After reading this response, I actually thought about trying to tackle the “definitive underground hip hop / metal / beyond” fan article. It would be a massive endeavor to say the least, but would probably be fun to write and would also be pretty nostalgic about where I cam from musically. I am going to keep the idea in my mind for sure.

            I have mentioned to many people lately, but, I am exclusively now a digital consumer of music. It’s because of economics, the CD player stopped working in my car and I wasn’t willing to pay to fix it. Spoiler: I’m actually going to tackle that issue for my next PExxx article. I stream music at home, and have an iPod which I play in my car. It covers most of my bases. I am at a slight disadvantage in that some musicians still insist on physical media, but most don’t.

            An interesting thing I have discovered lately, is that I listen to a much greater variety of albums than I used to. Call it the internet, this community, my fascination with metal over the last couple of years, or youth at the time when I listened to less albums more often. I used to listen to the same albums over and over and over. Hundred times sometimes, more. I rarely do that now but there are a few lately that have been on repeat or heavy play. Psalm Zero’s album this year, that Burial Hex I mentioned to you.

            As you mentioned, I am sort of the Toilet Ov Hell sponge now so I take it a lot of shit.

            I’m kind of surprised you are a big fan of Sunn 0))). I don’t know why, it just seems… surprising. Haha. Of your 2000s albums, I am only up on a few in real expertise. Sunn 0)))), Altar of Plagues, and Baroness. I LOVED Altar of Plague’s final album, Teethed Glory and Injury. Such a bummer they called it quits after that one. WIFE is cool, but not that level of cool.

            Colored Sands is legitimately one of the best metal albums I have ever heard. It grabbed me immediately. I listened to the second track, which was the advance track, countless timse before it came out. I still don’t “get” Obscura. It’s over my head. I will revisit it sometime in the future.

            Along the lines of what we are talking about, I think there is so much metal that is “good” at least, and at least for me since I listen to so much different stuff, it takes a lot for something to reach out and grab me. I listen to a lot of good stuff. Is it great? I think some of my favorites from last year are. It was tough making that year end list, and as soon as I finished it I heard “better” stuff and could have made changes.

            Alright. Sorry for the delay, lol.

            Did you ever get a chance to check out the last two recommendations I sent your way?

          • Max

            Cheers for the response, Ed! Sorry about the delay in replying this morning; I just got back from Christmas shopping. Total chaos.

            My advice, if you were going to pursue the hip-hop/metal transition article, is to just do a first draft which is strictly autobiographical. Literally just start from the first time you heard a rap record start-to-finish, who got you into it, what you were doing in life at the time, and go from there; working your way up to how and where you got into metal. You mightn’t want it all published on TovH, but it’ll probably get you thinking about what you WOULD publish here in a way you hadn’t done before you wrote it all down.

            For me, writing the EDM-versus-metal article was easy; because I’ve always heard a lot of sonic and musicological similarities between the two genres, as I explained. But with hip-hop, it’s almost sonically and musicologically the complete opposite of metal, and comes from a rather different place culturally, as well. So I’m not sure using the same approach I did would necessarily serve you that well. I do acknowledge, though, that you hear a lot of similarities in the two styles that I don’t pick up on; which is why I’m interested in what you’d have to say about it all.

            The CD player in my car still works; that’s partly why I’m still living in the dark ages. Unfortunately, my CD stereo doesn’t have an Aux In jack; so using my i-Pod while driving hasn’t taken off in my life yet. But I do really like my i-Pod. It’s one of those things that makes me wonder why I didn’t buy one years ago (I’m a VERY late adapter when it comes to technology – I still don’t use a smartphone.) Now, of course, Apple is discontinuing the Classics, which is a fucking bummer.

            I’m glad you’ve queried my enjoyment of the Sunn0))) record. You’re correct: it doesn’t correspond to my stated tastes much. For my part, what I’ll say is that I find it astonishing how such a left-field record can be such “easy-listening”, if that’s the right term. I don’t often put that CD on, but when I do, it’s always an enjoyable listen no matter how daunting it may first seem and no matter how much you might say to yourself “Am I really in the mood for this right now?” To this day, I’m not quite sure how they accomplished that. I’ve never been inclined to check out other Sunn0))) records, but they probably do deserve my attention. It was a spur-of-the-moment buy based mainly on the fact that the sticker on the front said it featured Atilla Czihar; who is of course more famous as the frontman of Mayhem. I also knew of Stephen O’Malley from his zine writing days back in the ’90s. And I hadn’t checked out anything from the then-new genre of drone-doom; so why not?

            But yes – it’s a great album, it really is. The best experience I ever had with it was some years ago when I drove a photographer friend of mine around town one night looking for cool things to him to snap. We ended up in our city’s industrial dockland area, which isn’t as thriving as it used to be and has a lot of dormant factories, etc. Those places always look kind of interesting, but with the last song on that album on the stereo at the time, there was something really eerie about it all.

            Same here about listening to “Forgotten Arrows” ad nauseam! I couldn’t wait for the rest of it. And I, too, have never really gotten into Obscura. Maybe some day.

            As for the two recommendations: I have listened to both since you first brought them to my attention, but not enough to give you a verdict yet. I like to listen to something several times before passing judgement. In fact, I’ve been listening to The Hierophant right now while typing this. It’s definitely my favourite of the two; I really like it actually. I only recently realized that I’d been listening to it in reverse – the Soundcloud page has them in backwards chronology, and I’m pretty sure that’s skewing my experience somewhat! So I’m doing the whole thing again a few times in the correct sequence before I pass verdict.

            The initial impression I got of Herukat is that it was kind of going over similar ground as Sutcliffe Jugend (albeit with the Islamic slant); but obviously that’s not doing justice to the material – so again, I’ve got to give it a few more listens.

          • Edward #negrod4eva

            Max –

            no problem on any kind of “delay”. Haha. You responded me about the same day and that was a week ago! It is Christmas morning here now. I have a couple hours before I have to leave for family things. I’m having coffee and responding to a few important emails (you, some chick online, Ethan / Swallowing Bile). Merry Christmas!

            That is a fair bit of advice for the musical autobiographical article. There is a record I heard when I was about eighteen (on the way to purchase narcotics, no less) that changed how I looked at music for a long time. I went through widely varying phases over time (gangsta rap, No Limit, backpacker shit like Rhymesayers / Def Jux, etc). I have been having some trouble with my current article, my hope is to finish that one and then I have an idea for another one. I try to always be working on something. The one I am working on now is black metal, but my focus is one songs rather than albums which for some reason has been more tricky because I am attacking a few artist’s discographies but being far more selective. I think it will turn out well when it is all said and done!

            I’d like to see more Max articles! I have enjoyed both of the ones you have written for this site. Hell, I enjoy these back and forth emails which are longer than some of the short news blurbs that get posted on ToH, haha. I am kind of on a Death Grips phase, again. They are kind of the intersection between hip hop and EDM and metal / punk’s raw aggression. I agree with you about hip hop and metal coming from different worlds. I have always felt like they may be distant cousins though – they are both from “outsider” cultures at the least in the beginning.

            I had a classic iPod but I sold it to my younger brother when I got a newer iPod that I could stream music at home with. He loves the classic. I somewhat regret it, but it seemed silly to own two iPods and at the time I needed the cash more than I needed two iPods. I also don’t have a smartphone. Used to, downgraded to an old flip phone over a year ago to save money. My iPod Touch serves as a smartphone whenever I am near wifi, home, work, some public places.

            I have listened to Sunn 0))) while working on homework. It’s one of the few things I can play while doing homework. Anything with lyrics is too distracting if I am reading / writing / focused on that kind of material. I am not too well versed in their discography either, but they are relatively “well known” for an act that makes the kind of music they make, as are Earth. Cool experiences I have had lately listening to music usually revolve around blood curdling extreme music and driving in storms – it has happened a bit lately.

            Oh man – definitely listen to The Heirophant in the intended order! One of the beauties of the record is the way that it is sequenced and how well it works as a full piece. Of course, because of my delay, you may have already done that several times. I also enjoy The Heirophant more than I Bear Witness. They are very different, of course. I added I Bear Witness to my HMs for my list for this site kind of at the last second, and I was only beginning to fully experience The Heirophant which I would now say is one of my three favorite records of the year. Genius.

            Since you have taken on two recommendations from me – shoot me a recommendation – anything. I’m going to cut this short as it is Christmas morning here and I need to finish this coffee and shower and be an adult, haha.

            Again, Merry Christmas. Think of something good and send it my way!

  • 1st world problems: Mayhem/Watain/Revenge are playing the same night as HoF.

    • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

      Mayhem = bleargh
      Watain = Njah
      High on Fire = yes please
      Revenge = Yes please.

      • Watching Mayhem clips online has given me the unreal expectation that there will be FIRE!!! Self mutilation and rotting severed livestock heads on stage. However, from what I heard their club show is much tamer.

        • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

          They are actually depressingly bad live.

    • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

      Think about who you respect more as musican, also have you already seen any of the bands ?

      • I’ve seen HoF twice and I do like them more. But I enjoy some material from Mayhem and the supporting bands never have seen any of them.

  • Joe, take raw organic honey for your throat. It will work.

  • Hubert, Goat ov Doom and Void

    streptococcal pharyngitis. SIQ Slam band name.

  • KJM

    One time when I had a really bad case of Strep, the pain was so intense I tried a desperate solution. I took a huge glass of the absolute coldest ice water, closed my eyes, and chugged the fucker like a Dude Bro at a kegger. I ended up spitting out all the water along with the foulest tasting gunk ever, and about 10 seconds later I felt great.

    • Eeeeeew! When I looked at my mouth in the mirror with a flashlight I got the strongest urge to just ice pick my tonsils out. It was horrifying.

      • Edward #negrod4eva

        That’s another solid band name ‘Ice Pick My Tonsils Out’

        • Edward #negrod4eva

          Hack Your Tonsils opening for Pissgrave and Child Abuse.

      • KJM

        It was gross as hell but I felt like a million bucks afterward.

        • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

          I had an earache only once in my life when i was 8 years old, i still remember the excruciating pain and where i was when it happened. it was at a bible study, how appropriate.

    • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

      One time I had strep to the point where I couldn’t really swallow. I then decided that I should hock a loogy. It was so painful getting it out of my throat, but it finally got out of my throat. I then felt like I had a new throat.

    • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

      The solution for almost all health problems is weed + bourbon.

      • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

        ain’t that the truth.

  • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

    go to two separate record stores downtown, one of which supposedly “specializing” in punk/metal vinyl for a Krampuss gift for my best frand: ….. only decent LP available is Hooded Menace.

    W . T . F .

  • Eating at Taco John’s is the key to getting better, Joe.

    • because he pukes up everything in his system?

      • See, I actually experienced a little butthurt when I read that. I’m far more prone to get my feelings hurt over Taco John’s hate than bashing a taste in music 😉

        • lol It just looks like something that would go right through me.

        • VVorld Peace

          Ever had Taco Bueno? How does it compare?

          • Never had Taco Bueno. I don’t think there’s one anywhere near me.

    • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

      That spicy chorizo breakfast burrito being advertised sounds delightful. I’m on the west coast and have never heard of Taco John’s.

      • There’s not very many here in the upper-midwest either TBH. If this were a just world Taco Bells would be few and far between and TJs would be everywhere instead.

  • Hubert, Goat ov Doom and Void

    Fuck lists.

  • Shit since when does strep throat come with a 104 degree fever?

    • Fuck if I know! I had never had it before but I did not take it very well.

      • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

        Strep throat can present with any number of fever symptoms.

      • ebola…..i kid

    • KJM

      It has every time I’ve had it.

  • JWG

    Going straight to the positive vibe: YouTube seems to be a total treasure trove of “non-traditional” Xmas-themed films, many of which have been up way longer than one would expect given how vigilant the copyright holders usually are.

    Found Black Christmas (original). Has been up since September.

    So if the Blu-ray continues to be elusive (I thought I’d found one on Amazon.ca but got an email that it’s not actually in stock), at least I’ve got that.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOp_BF3VAVE

    • this is the only one that matters: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=od7GUy9XS7c

    • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

      you can get in on ebay guaranteed. Don’t worry about buying off there, i have been buying and selling since 98 and only got ripped off once. And i buy 500 dollars worth of stuff off there a month minimum.

  • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

    sleep was 2x as good as high on fire. Yet HIF sells 5x the amount of albums sleep did. Matt pike is still a genius though.

    • Mr.CustodialArts

      Why quibble over cunt or mouth?

      • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

        I hear ya.

    • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

      HOF writes more hooks. Dats why.

    • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

      Damn straight Matt Pike’s a genius! His Left Nipple alone has more intelligence than most of you lifelovers!! Byah!!
      #nipplefacts

  • Guacamole Jim

    Today has been a shitshow at my work, as I run back and forth managing the problems in the warehouse, juggling meetings, and trying to get my own work done. Also, dealing with bitchy co-workers who feel the need to place impossible deadlines and then gripe about them not getting fulfilled.

    BUT on a better note: it’s super warm here in Canada, and I’m going to have a nice, chill evening with some scotch, books, and the window open. And I’ll probably dwell on the Toilet with you chumps <3

    • Stockhausen

      I chose to focus on your positives and say that that sounds like a fantastic evening.

      • Guacamole Jim

        This evening is going to be great. It’s been quite a while since I’ve just chilled and done some reading.

    • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

      What are you reading now, Glock? I just finished Joe Abercrombie’s The Heroes. Moving on to his last/most recent Red Country. Do check out if you like dark fantasy. Bottle o’ bourbon and pasta here tonight.

      • Guacamole Jim

        I love me some dark fantasy! At the moment I’m not reading nonfiction, but I’m working my way through Either/Or by Kierkegaard. I try to alternate my readings, so fiction, then nonfiction. It helps me not to burn out on the nonfiction stuff.

        • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

          Please read Joe Abercrombie and Glen Cook if you havent, Bro.

    • My job decided that they aren’t going to pay me today and pay instead monday, want to trade?

      • Death

        Shit! Is that legal?

        • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

          Yes.

          • Death

            Huh. Has never happened to me here. Hoping that it won’t happe.

        • It’s more complicated that than actually. The location I work at switched security companies and so I transferred over because its 5 mins from my house why wouldnt i? but anyway apparrently the old company sends final checks out as physical checks instead of direct deposit, which no one told us until we called in pissed off this morning. Then they had to figure out where the fucking checks were because they are fucking stupid. They wanted to mail them via the US postal service, we told them to use fucking fed ex. I had to borrow money from my parents to make my car payment on time which pissed me off even more. Needless to say the Archbauer is none too pleased today.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            This is awful. The US Postal service (actually Fed EX too) this time of year is so horrendous. My sympathies, Jack.

          • Thanks.

          • Death

            Oooh. I thought they were like “nah, we ain’t gonna pay today even though we could. Sit your asses down and wait for Monday.”

          • No, if that were the case I could probably take some sort of legal action.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            A company can easily tell you they can’t pay you for a couple days. The loss you receive isn’t enough to even take such a case to court wouldn’t be worth the legal costs. Several of my small business employers have been late in paying me.

        • Pagliacci is Krampvs

          Meh, I went a month and a half once without getting paid.

      • Guacamole Jim

        Shit dude. Mine doesn’t pay me until Monday either 🙁 I just bought two cymbals, so I’m broke as fuck.

  • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

    ………..

  • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

    Eddie has nothing on the RIOT mascot.

    • KJM

      I spent years wondering why they had a baby seal on their album cover.

    • Mr.CustodialArts

      Dude…after YEARS of hearing how great that record is, I FINALLY got past that fuckin’ Christ-awful album art and bought the thing…IT RULES.

  • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

    hail satan !

    • KJM

      Shemhamforash!!!

    • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

      ”””””

  • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

    got your christmas shopping done yet ? Mr cachet has some wooden amps for sale. Each one will be personally delivered by blake judd who will personally join you and your family for christmas dinner and then play his new black metal opera on your piano. This will be taped and pressed onto limited edition vinyl which you will pre pay for. It will then be mixed by dan swano and mailed to you no later than the 5th of never.

    • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

      What are you lifting for Krvmpvz, Conan?

  • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

    a new classic

  • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

    where the fuck is move the pool tables for slayer riotact ?

    • KJM

      Slayer sold out The Palladium so at least it’s not that bad yet.

      Haven’t noticed RA around lately.

      • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

        I think a lot of youngsters think holt is hanneman with his hair dyed. I am only half joking.

        • KJM

          Unfortunately I wouldn’t be surprised.

      • Not bad at all but consider this. Every time I’ve seen Slayer ( not on Mayhem Fest) they have played the Tsangus Arena which has capacity of 6,500. The Palladium has a capacity about half that.

        • KJM

          Oh yeah, live attendance for Slayer is gonna take a big hit but it’s not quite back at club level yet.

          Also, last time Slayer played Tsongas(IIRC) they had Megadeth and Testament as support. I’m sure that helped sell a few tix.

      • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

        Slayer is one of the few big ones i’ve managed to not see live. I donno if its worth it now.

        • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

          I’d say do it while you can. Saw them about a month ago and it was a good time.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            Arghhhhhh I donno. If they came around and I had nothing to do I might. I’d much rather spend like 14 bucks and see Whores. when they come around to Cats Cradle. This sounds much more preferable to seeing Slayer at some stadium.

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            Exodus opened for them. They were pretty cool live.

        • Death

          Spoiler alert: Slayer sucks

          • KJM

            Dood, my doc thinks I have Tendonitis so she gave me some Codeine. We’re gonna party like Blake Judd tonight. WHOO!

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            COME OVER AND PARTY WITH ME KJ

          • KJM

            Ok, let me wait for my friend with the OG Kush and I’ll be there.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            We haven’t even finished the oz we got earlier this month! Fuck that dude, I’ll sell you a bag 😉

          • Death

            You better watch out or Judd is gonna scam your stuff man

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            Speaking of, I saw a copy of one of Nachtmystium’s lps at the record store earlier. I lolbuttzed softly to myself

          • Death

            Did Blake Judd appear behind the counter and try to sell it to you?
            “Hey listen kid, buy that album. I can also sell you a collection of 135 vinyl albums, you interested? It’ll cost only 259 dollars because you so cute. Leavet the cash and come back tomorrow for the albums.”

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            I thought it was funny. I said to myself, “well at least you’d get the album”

          • Death

            Their music doesn’t suck ass imo (I’ve enjoyed one or two of their albums)

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            Um, no, in fact. The World We Left Behind almost made my top 10. Album is brilliant. Shame the dude is still a junkie. /empathize

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            I would say they suck at this time.

          • Death

            I would say that they sucked always. Only good thing about them has been Lombardo, and he’s far better with a good band, like Fantomas.

          • KJM

            I wish Patton wasn’t wasting his time with the Faith No More reunion. Fantomas is a much more worthy endeavor.

          • Death

            Agreed, ‘ol chap

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            Has to pay the bills. The more he makes from FNM the more he can putter around with his extremely uncommercial little projects that appeal to a niche but highly loyal audience.

          • KJM

            Yeah, but he doesn’t strike me as the type to have wasted the money he’s already made. Also, while it’s not as profitable as Faith No More, Fantomas easily finances itself because it’s a so-called “SuperGroup” that mostly lives up to the hype unlike Tomahawk or some of his other bands.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            I admit to being fairly poorly informed about his other bands. He seems to be a level headed type.

          • KJM

            Fantomas is popular enough to play large clubs and opening slots on arena tours. His other bands, not so much.

          • Mr.CustodialArts

            Well…BUZZO keeps kinda busy, dude!

          • KJM

            Yeah, that actually didn’t occur to me like it should’ve. He’s probably the busiest musically out of all of them.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            Everything they released up to and including season in the abyss is classic. Really, it’s a perfect disocgraphy up to there. They were still good live with jeff and i prefer lombardo but i can’t get through to you because you obviously do not like thrash as a genre.

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            It’s kinda like going to see DTA. I thought about going to see DTA, but then I listened to Death and decided I don’t wanna hear Chuck’s music unless it’s Chuck playing it.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            Cover bands are not my bag either. Unless i am sitting in the bar and a pub band plays a set of old shit. But straight up tribute acts are shit to me. On a separate subject i can’t believe gilmour had the balls to release another bogus floyd album. I would say that cements the fact that he and waters will never tour nor record again in this lifetime. People say ac/dc bombed with rock or bust but the new pink floyd sold 30, 000 less ! Plus ac/dc are selling out the same size stadiums floyd would. So in my thinking that makes ac/dc bigger than floyd at this post. The only thing bigger would be a zepp tour which i think could possibly sell out multiple dates at one arena.

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            If Zepp were to do so, I want Myles Kennedy to be the singer. I know Alter Bridge is Creed but with Myles. But there’s no denying that the dude has a fucking incredible voice. A sidenote here, both Slash and Mark Tremonti (two very good guitarist), have said Myles is an incredible guitarist but always gets over looked.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            Oh i could never accept that , that would be jimmy with sidemen. I know jason is johns son but that doesnt really make him as good. Just as johnny van zant replacing his brother in skynyrd. And JPJ is just not my favorite member of the band. I would not put out the HUGE amount of money and trouble trying to get tickets for it.

          • KJM

            I’ll take a Firm reunion. Paul Rodgers still has at least 90% of his voice.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            I always thought the band name sucked big time.

          • KJM

            Oh yeah, dumb name.

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            Here’s a side note, I never want a Pantera reunion. I love Phil, Rex, Vinne, and Zakk Wylde. But Dime is the reason Pantera is as big as they are. Zakk is a fantastic guitarist, but Dime is in a league of his own. Nobody could touch Dime’s tune and tone.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            Phil doesn’t have what it takes anymore. And Pantera without Dimebag is an abomination, i think he knows that

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            When you age you’re obviously gonna lose it, but he still does a pretty good job.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            Neither do I, vinnie will never let it happen, i don’t think phil and vinnie ever were close friends from the beginning. It would be like zeppelin without page or van halen without eddie. In short it would signify nothing. Priest without KK…………..uh, wait, seriously though, i was a little taken aback by the fans immediate acceptance of that seismic change in the priest lineup. I mean we are talking possibly the #1 dual guitar attack in metal preceding murray/smith by at least 5 years.

          • Lacertilian

            No.
            Plant or GTFO.
            Sorry to be blunt.

        • Its still a good show the band is tight and Tom sounds great. However, something feels wrong about going to see Slayer since Jeff passed. He wrote or Co wrote about 85% and to have Slayer continue on playing his music feels wrong. I hope Jeffs Widow sees some sort of live Royalties.
          But then again this is coming from a guy two has been to Both Death To All shows that have come through MA. But I feel like those are done with Class and are a celebration of Chuck rather than Slayers Obvious cash grab.

        • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

          Depends on the convenience and price i guess. If a couple of great bands are opening its worth it i guess. I was lucky to see the god hates us all tour. I was on jeffs side of the stage and i was glad i was because he was the only guy in the band i got a vibe from that felt like he wanted to be there.

      • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

        I’d still go to a Slayer concert. Sure ADDave and Jeff aren’t in the band, but it’s stiil Slayer.

        • KJM

          I’ve seen them 7 times since 1987 so I’ve pretty much had my fill.

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            Yeah, I’ve only seen them twice. I only have around 6 or 7 bands that I want to see, but have yet to see. But of course I am happy to see certain bands multiple times.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            So you haven’t bothered to see them without jeff and never will i would guess. I think if they were the headliners i would walk away rather than watch them at this point. Kind of like a silent protest. Its like being a musical vegetarian i guess.

          • KJM

            Only saw them without Jeff once, and that’s when he was still alive so there was still the hope he would be back.

  • Renan Ribeiro

    I’m hitting the strip club tonight, fuck it

    And 7 am I’m catching a bus to a graduation party out of town

    • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

      Enjoy that pussy, there is no strip clubs in my province in canada.

      • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

        Getting pussy from a strip club is like throwing your genitals into a bingo wheel of STDs

        • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

          Hey, i am just talking about looking man.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            And i’m just talking about all the spare space in my trunk.

          • Renan Ribeiro

            Strip Clubs in Brazil are almost entirely a façade for brothels Usually the girls there are interested in having sex for money and the dances are just to allure the clients. You have to be very adamant about it if you’re there to just look. I’m only looking, BTW

          • more beer

            So there is sex in the champagne room in Brazil.

        • KJM

          Look but don’t touch.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            I have actually never been to one, never had the opportunity. Not my scene, although my dream job would be the bouncer at a club. You get to become friends with the girls and brutalize customers. The best of both worlds.

          • KJM

            I’ve never been either for much the same reason.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            I’ve been with strippers and porn actresses. Let me tell you that you’d be much better off with the girl next door.

          • Death

            In which porn movies can I find you?

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            A gentleman never tells.

          • Death

            You have been with strippers and porn actresses and still call yourself a gentleman?

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            Touche. No, that is just a saying. I’m by no means a gentleman.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            I’ve never personally acted in any adult film but I have been involved with at least 2 women who were. Out of respect for their privacy I will not name them.

          • Death

            I understand that. I probably wouldn’t know them, I don’t watch porn anymore.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            anymore ? so you have revealed a human foible !

          • more beer

            Respecting peoples privacy is key. I do the same with some friends that I have who are moderately famous. If you wanna keep your friends don`t name drop. Up vote for respect.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            many porn actresses in particular are not that stunning without make up, some are downright below average in the looks department, as far as the face goes anyways.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            I’ll just say that a woman can be beautiful without makeup. Porn actress or not.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            nicely sidestepped. A makeup free knockout is a find though.

          • more beer

            No ones looking at their faces.

        • Renan Ribeiro

          Soropositive is the term in portuguese for HIV+ people. A couple days ago a gay friend of mine introduced me to the term Sorointerrogative, for those nights you’re not really sure what’s your status and feel like getting some bloodwork afterwards

      • more beer

        You gotta move to some place with more to do.

  • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

    if arnold doesn’t deliver in the legend of CONAN i am going to end my own life.

    • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

      I’m in better shape than arnold is now. They should have cast me.

      • Renan Ribeiro

        I’m ashamed that I’m not even able to say this

        • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

          See: Swellin’ to the Jammiez.

          • Renan Ribeiro

            I wrote one of them lulz, but I’m getting back on track ASAP as soon as the graduation period ends.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            December is the worse month to get going again. I started a training regime a couple of years ago and dieted right through christmas, i made it through but it was shitty just the same.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            I’ve never dieted.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            I mean diet as not eating shit food 24-7

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            My current workout schedule requires nearly 4000 calories a day. Diet means eating until you’re almost sick.

      • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

        Yea, but are you pushing 70 ?

        • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

          I’m ~30. How old was arnold when he was Mr. Universe?

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            20 – which is mind blowing.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            So, extrapolating …. I could easily play Conan?

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            I won’t accept anyone playing Conan but arnold. But you could play his son Conn perhaps.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            I accept that.

    • Seems like a perfectly logical reason to take your life.

      • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

        My dissapointment with conan the destroyer has haunted me since 84 and the near derailment of the reboot of the series with conan 3d was soul wrenching as well. In fact i have refused to watch it. If only i had stuck to my guns and never watched the star wars pre quels. I have however refused to watch crystal skull. The fact that shia leboef was in it was a major factor in my choice.

        • shia pet pretty much guarantees a shitty movie.

          • Mr.CustodialArts

            I’ll take that bait-“LAWLESS” is a killer movie that never would have been made had Shia not attached his name to it…and “FURY” is fuckin’ rad, man-he did a great job in that part.

          • I also really enjoyed eagle eye actually.

        • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

          Indiana Jones 1, 2, & 3 were some of my favorite films growing up, along with the original Star Wars trilogy. When I watched Crystal Skull, I felt like a part of my childhood died a little. I refuse to ever watch it again. I hate the Star Wars prequels too, but I can at least tolerate them and even find enjoyment in the battles and special effects despite Hayden Christiensen’s wooden performance and the CGI muppet-abomination that is Jar-Jar. Crystal Skull has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. It’s an awful movie with an awful plot starring awful actors acting awfully, culminating in an awful ending that’s as dumb as it is awful, which is a lot. An insult and a disgrace to a beloved franchise. Fuck you Steven Spielberg. Fuck you Shia LaBeouf. Fuck everything about that abortion of a film.

    • Death

      Conan, we already talked about this “ending your life” thing back in FFB

  • Mr.CustodialArts

    This PANOPTICON is…something. You metal kids and your genre-mashing…”Hey this pizza is good OH MY GOD NOW IT’S CHICKEN.” Love that 22:00 mark. #timolyphant

    • Glad you’re checking it out! Shit has been grooving me for the past few months.

      • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

        Thank you for creating this glorious website. Much better than those other two websites.

        • This place kinda runs on the community so thanks for joining us brother.

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            I have invited a few fellas. No sign of them yet. I think you’d like Cannibal Slayer 666. Nobody could dislike the guy.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            He is a cool dude, even when he was a RiotAct clone.

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            I honestly don’t think anybody loves metal more than him. He gives everything a try and finds something good to say about it. Even if it’s garbage music.

          • Death

            He’s the true metalhead.

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            I try to be like that, but damn. I can’t stomach listening to bands like Emmure, Babymetal, Atilla, etc. without saying something totally negative.

        • Glad to have you dude!

      • Mr.CustodialArts

        Yeah man, I remember you raving about it back in the day-it flows…and hey, good on ya giving Sturgill a shout-out, bruh.

      • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

        Like i said before, any list with Panopticon in the top 5 is a good list.

  • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

    remember these guys – good stuff – galactic cowboys – not amused.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mu4W3-XZWx4

  • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

    I hate crappy rotisserie chicken places. I went to an outlet mall today and got a rotisserie chicken. It was not good and the sides were even worse. Also, fuck the song Come Dancing by The Kinks. I hate that song so much.

    • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

      We bought 6lbs of bone-in chicken breasts at Ingles the other day. That is all.

    • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

      is kenny rogers roasters still around in the states ? There was one here but i never got around to going and then it got shut down.

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

        It’s owned by Nathan’s now. This was a thing called Malibu Rotisserie and Fried Chicken and it sucked.

        • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

          If kennys name isnt on it i am not interested. I pictured going inside, seeing some rogers memorablilia, maybe some gold and platinum album displays. A free cd with your meal. Rogers music in the background. All that will only live in my dreams now.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            There was a Seinfeld episode about that restaurant. They showed the inside in one scene and it had Kenny memorabilia such as gold records and posters of him. I wish there would have been one in my area but there never was.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            yea, that episode was the best. But there was not one bad episode except the final one which was atrocious.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            The final one was a horrible episode.

          • KJM

            If it’s the same Nathan’s as the Hot Dog company it might be worth it. Nathan’s are the only hot dog I’ll eat.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            I have a penchant for those hotdogs that are dyed red.

          • KJM

            All other brands except Hebrew Nationals taste like fried bologna to me.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I love the Boars’ Head hot dogs that are packaged. They’re so good.

          • KJM

            Never tried those.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            The guy at our local deli knows us by name. We buy Boar’s Head meat every week. lbs of it.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I buy Boars’ Head meat from the place near me that sells it. It’s so good, especially the cold cuts. I could eat their sliced buffalo chicken in bulk.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            We buy their black forest ham and jerk turkey like fuckin’ hotcakes. Their selection is incredible. If you’re buying packaged sandwich meat you’re failing at life.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            No one should buy packaged sandwich meat. Same goes for packaged cheese that isn’t shredded. I asked one of my family members for a box of that buffalo chicken as well as a thing that a wholesale club sells me of 100 Slim Jims. I might even get that box of 36 Milky Way bars as well.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            I may not agree with your choice in music, JJD, but your choice in deli meats is impeccable.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            Only the best deli meats enter my house. Same goes for cheeses.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            Words to live by

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            They are statements to live by. My choice in candy bars is also very good. I love Milky Way bars, Butterfingers and Paydays.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            Paydays are straight. The real winner is the under-appreciated Nestle Crunch

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I love the Buncha Crunch candies they sell at movie theaters. They’re so good.

          • KJM

            I have a top notch meat shop a block from my house. Even the cheap steak is delicious.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            I make a mean ham, turkey, and bacon sub. Catch a buzz and deny it.

          • more beer

            The honey glazed maple turkey is pretty dam good too!

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            Nathan’s sells their stuff in all their restaurants but only bigger Nathan’s have the rotisserie chicken. The smaller ones have wings though and those are good wings.

          • more beer

            Sabbretts are pretty dam good!

    • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

      it seems you have a special hatred for the kinks. I do like the song do it again which came out the next year.

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

        I love The Kinks. I just hate all their output from 1973 onward.

        • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

          so you like about the first 10 years. The same would apply to the stones as well for me. Tattoo you from 81 was the last classic from them.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I hated anything from Emotional Rescue onwards. Like Aerosmith the Stones were the best in the 70’s. I love their 60’s output but the 70’s stuff is different enough for me to enjoy it separately.

          • KJM

            Agree 100%, and that was an album of mostly outtakes.

        • KJM

          No love for ‘Sleepwalker’ or ‘Low Budget’?

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            Low Budget had the Superman song which was my favorite song on the album. Besides that I did not like the album. Sleepwalker was meh, Misfits was crap and anything from Give The People What The Want fucking sucked.

          • KJM

            ‘Catch Me Now I’m Falling’ has riffs you can hang your hat on.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            we discussed sleepwalker before. Nirvana stole it for teen spirit. It’ a good song. Just like the stones and the who the kinks have an extremely spotty discography.

    • Mr.CustodialArts

      First BOC, now THE KINKS…WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST DANCING, BRO???

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

        I don’t dance. That’s what I have against dancing.

        • Mr.CustodialArts

          Not even the TOXIC WALTZ?

          • Death

            HE SAID NO DANCING

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            That’s not dancing. That’s moshing which is a different story entirely.

    • Death

      Yeeeeeah, The Kinks suck!

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

        I love their early output. Anything from Preservation Act 1 onward was awful. I’ve been known to torture myself with constant playing of Come Dancing from time to time. I called it Crappy Pop Music Torture. It’s so painful.

        • Death

          Oh, you like that shit. Darn!

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I do hate the Sex Pistols though. I also hate The Monkees.

          • Death

            Tell me you like Public Image Limited!

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            Of course I do! They blow the Sex Pistols out of the water. I never said I hated the members, I just hate the musicl

          • Death

            You are now officially higher than KJM (aka Blake Judd) in my books.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            Yay!

          • KJM

            Boo!!

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            KJM > you, scurb

          • Death

            Seeing as you’re on the lowest possible spot on my list, I don’t really care about your insignificant little opinions.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            the irony is I know you’re joking, you want my list and my junk.

          • Death

            I actually am not joking. Karhu used to have that spot, but then you arrived.

          • KJM

            Higher than me? Nobody gets higher than me!

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            WANNA SMOKE ABOUT IT BRO?

          • Death

            My books are not based on drugs mate

          • more beer

            I`m pretty sure I would give you a run for your money!

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            they are the same , both complete creations. Different sides of the same coin. Manufactured garbage. The irony is thick since the sex pistols were supposed to be anti establishment when their creation was an example of crass commercialism at work. Their lyrics and playing were shite but malcolm mcclaren hand picked them for them musical ineptitude.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I love the movie of The Monkees though. That movie was really bizarre.

          • KJM

            Head was awesome.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            That was a great movie. Very bizarre and perfect to watch while stoned.

    • KJM

      How can you fuck up a rotisserie chicken? That should be impossible.

      God, I remember when that fucking song was everywhere. It was a huge hit. Ugh.

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

        The skin was burnt, the chicken was dry as the Sahara and the sides were cold. I should have gone to that cheese steak place I love instead.

        • KJM

          Damn, even Boston Chicken was never that bad.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            Don’t you mean Boston Market? I loved their chicken the one time I had it. They make a good bird.

          • KJM

            Ah yes, Boston market.

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            Their potpies were delightful.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            They make a amazing pot pie.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            They have a challenge where you have to eat 3 whole chickens, two pot pies, eight pieces of cornbread, six sides and two desserts in under an hour.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            Could do this /10

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            You should see me eat. I can pack away food, especially boneless wings. I can also eat entire boxes of Cheez Its in record time.

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            That sounds like the “How long will it take til I die challenge?”

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            One person has completed it. They made a statue of him to put in front of the first Boston Market restaurant.

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            I tried a food challenge once. I had to take down a 7 pound burrito. I at 4 1/2 pounds of it. I had the world’s worst diarrhea for about 4 or 5 days.

          • Death

            I’ve been having a nasty ass diarrhea for three days now.

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            Diarrhea is the worst. It’s sucks even more when you forget your phone while sitting on the toilet.

          • Death

            Few weeks ago I had a nice combination of extreme diarrhea and extreme vomiting.

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            I have not had that happen to me, but it sound horrid.That would be the worst smell ever brewing in that bathroom.

          • Death

            It’s literally shitty when you’re on the toilet and vomit starts coming. It’s fucking everywhere!

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            I’m quite thankful that I’ve never been that sick.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            Constant state of being a d-bag

          • Death

            It felt just like talking to you

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            <3333333

          • Death

            NO! >:(

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            awww come on

          • Death

            I shan’t!

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            get down with this, bro, lets smoke about it
            http://youtu.be/jyc8ZkqED0Q

          • Death

            Drugs and rappers will NOT help your case!

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            if you cant get down with this song you a trve scrub.

          • Death

            Then I shall live my life as the truest of scrubs!

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            so be it.

          • Death

            So it shall be written and so it shall be done! Now excuse me, for I have to go. My people wait for me.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            Corgis needing to be fed doesn’t count.

          • Death

            Blasphemer! My corgis are on the highest positiin on my lists! Also, they’re sleeping next to me. They’ll get their next meal when the moring comes. Oooh, there’s gonna be some nice shit tomorrow. Good Dutch cheeses motherfuckers

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            Here’s a recipe for my famous roasted chicken

            JJD’s Famous Spicy Roasted Chicken

            1 Chicken
            1 Bottle Hot Sauce
            1 Cup Crushed Red Pepper
            1 Lemon
            1 Cup Cinnamon

            Step 1: Combine Cinnamon and Crushed Red Pepper in a bowl.
            Step 2: Rub cinnamon-pepper mixture on chicken. If you run out of mixture redo step 1 and continue rubbing until chicken is covered in cinnamon and crushed red pepper.
            Step 3: Take lemon, squeeze it and pour the juice over the chicken.
            Step 4: Put chicken in oven or rotisserie, cook 10-15 minutes per pound.
            Step 5: Eat Chicken.

          • Death

            So I don’t have to kill the chicken, pluck its feathers, pull out its organs and wash it? Nice.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            This is for a store bought chicken. For a chicken from a farm you have to do those steps as well.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            my old lady wouldn’t eat raw chicken livrs

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            anything without garlic is an abomination

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            Add garlic if you want to. It makes the chicken much less dry. Also, I forgot to say melt two sticks of butter and inject them into the chicken. That makes it juicy and delicious especially if you add garlic.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            Garlic will not make a chicken less dry. Cook breasts at 375 for 45 minutes. Distribute seasonting every 15 nin.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            My recipe needs work. The ingredients are all there though. Add any ingredients you may need and cook it as you see fit. I just cook it the way I said in the recipe and it tastes awesome.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            If i have to get nasty, a chicken breast can be made delicious by a marina anything involving garlic and butter. old spice, onion powder, thyme, and salt

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            My marinade is made of Old Bay, garlic, butter, crushed red pepper, cinnamon, salt and hot sauce.

          • Try mixing some ground cumin with the cinnamon

          • This would be good with some ground cumin mixed with the cinnamon

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            Have you ever tried Gouda cheese covered chicken? I’ve always wanted to try that.

          • KJM

            They help my case, dood…

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            Have you ever combined Doritos Locos Tacos and Locos Tacos Doritos? They sell both things and when I combined them it blew my mind.

          • KJM

            You mean the Ranch and Nacho cheese flavors? I’ve had them but not at the same time. They don’t sell them here anymore though.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            Damnit. It was so awesome when I combined them.

          • Lacertilian

            Extreme vomiting sounds like a RedBull sponsored neo-sporting event.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            Red Bull is getting sued and you can get free Red Bull or 10 dollars through a settlement. I submitted my form for free Red Bull and I submitted one for 10 dollars.

          • Food poisoning?

          • Death

            Just a bad case of gastroenteritis

          • Lacertilian

            You can’t poison @metaphysicalanus:disqus

          • Or forget to check and see if there’s toilet paper.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I ate a 12 pack of tacos from Taco Bell once. I felt like I was going to die for two days.

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            5 5-layer burritos will do the same thing to you. Excuse the pun, but it’s rather shitty.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I’ve eaten buckets of KFC in one sitting. That was painful but I would do it again. I wish I still had that rotisserie from Ronco because I used to make amazing chicken with that.

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            I reallly enjoy chicken from Popeyes. They make some gooooood chicken. But KFC makes incredible mashed potatoes and biscuits.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I agree. I also love Arthur Treacher’s much more than Long John Silver’s. Arthur Treachers just makes such good fried fish.

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            Here in Turlock ,California (an hour and a half away from San Francisco), we don’t have either of those. I just wish we had a damn Whitecastle 🙁

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I wish I had White Castle as well. You’re lucky because California has In N Out.

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            In N Out is beautiful. I once had In N Out with Jamey Jasta after Knotfest. It was incredible. He’s such a great dude.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            Lucky you. I went to a Hatebreed show and all that happened was I got punched in the face really hard in the pit. Did you go to Knotfest this year?

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            I did. Slipknot is probably my favorite band and Whitechapel is up there with them. Plus Carcass was there. Me and my buddy drove 6 hours to get there, then slept in his car so we could go to day 2. The struggle of being in college.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            Did you see Motograter? They performed there. If so were they good?

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            I caught some of their performance before Napalm Death, they were pretty good. A lot better than I thought they’d be since it’s been a while since they played a show.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            They reformed this year. I like their first album and I can’t wait for their second one.

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            It’s funny, I loved Ivan Moody with Motograter, hate him with FFDP.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I despise FFDP but I love Motograter. I wish they would perform the east coast.

          • OldMetalHead

            I actually liked the first two FFDP albums because they didn’t seem to be taking themselves seriously, kinda camp. Since then they’ve gotten worse and worse. They ruined House of the Rising Sun. Fuck them!

          • more beer

            There`s a White Castle in Yonkers on South Broadway.

          • more beer

            None in Denver either one of the things I miss from New York. Drunken White Castle after a show.

          • I’m in Hampton Roads, VA (the southeast end of the state), so good fried fish is always just a hop, skip and jump away. It’s hard to even name the best place for it around here, there’s so many.

          • FeelTheDarkness

            Years ago when on tour we had a Taco Bell taco challenge I ate 16 of those motherfuckers and I thought I was going to die on stage that night but I did win 75 bucks.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            On tour? When were you in a band? I did not know that you were in a band.

          • FeelTheDarkness

            I played in bands for 25+ years.

    • Or you can make your own. Might I introduce:

      https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLN9wslk8StSN4qR3C_mQV24p2g3UT3Mcs

      It’s a playlist of his stuff, but it’s most likely in there somewhere.

  • Keegan Lavern Still

    To make a very long and jimmy-rustling story short, I have been punished at my job at a group home for the mentally ill for making a mistake both legitimately serious and completely fucking stupid at the end of working 12 straight days by having been forced to work overnight shifts for the past two weeks and will be subjected to them for the next month. That’s what I get for being a good worker and person for taking extra shifts for people in other programs. Administration can suck my clit.

    In good news, I was paid for my 16 hours of double time for the Thanksgiving shifts I worked (plus the aforementioned extra shifts) today and got to splurge on some metal and the new Dragon Age game. I also got I have Wednesday night off from work to see Pallbearer in Minneapolis. Hooray for supervisors who understand when you’ve gotten the short end of the stick and value you as a worker!

    • Sometimes I’m afraid to load that game up, because I don’t know when I will stop. I don’t play that game before bed lol.

  • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

    for those that say ozzy blows, remember when he was the king.

    • Death

      The king of blowing

      • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

        you spelled bowling wrong.

    • KJM

      When he had Randy he was. Now he’s just Sharon’s lackey.

    • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

      still blows. scrub live.

  • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

    another super duper riot album cover – no reflection on the band. Their album covers are as bad as their music is good.

    • KJM

      It’s Baby Seal Dude!

      • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

        You know what i just understood the imagery behind this cover and applaud it silently. The most innocent creature on earth ( at least thought to be) In the middle of a war, the sumo perhaps representing japan and the plane the dropping of the bombs in ww2.

        • KJM

          You’ve been hitting the vape again.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            didn’t we already have this discussion earlier?

          • KJM

            Conan has a vaporizer that he uses instead because he prefers the lighter toke since he doesn’t smoke regularly like You or I.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            #skrublyfe

          • What a wimp. He probably hasn’t even had a collapsed lung or tracheotomy yet! Real men carry oxygen tanks!

  • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

    lets slip in a photo of playmate of the year 1980 dorothy stratton who was murdered by her jealous boyfriend/manager. May he rot in perdition. He discovered her at a dairy queen in british columbia, canada.

    • Death

      0/10 should have shaved

      • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

        keep in mind – 1980 – no woman did it at that time, at least in magazines.

        • Max

          And what a time it was!

    • more beer

      What waste her getting murdered was.

      • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

        It’s a tribute. I often think of killing the guy who did it. Why didn’t he just kill himself. You have probably seen the movie, it stars mariel hemmingway and eric roberts. Its called star 80. Mariel is no where near the equal of dorothy looks wise but no one can play an asshole like eric roberts. A highly under rated actor. Never became a big star but he still turns up in tv and movies.

        • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

          I see this a lot in my line of work. Kidnapping gone wrong.

          • more beer

            What do you do that you run into failed kidnappings on a regular basis?

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            no comment

          • more beer

            That`s cool. I had a couple of friends that took part in a failed kidnapping. They duct taped this guy up and threw him in the trunk of a car. The guy was wearing a wire it didn`t work out to well for them.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            Kidnapping 101: strip your victim

          • more beer

            I will remember that if I ever decide to become a kidnapper. I tend to try and lead a felony free life.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

            *#skrublyfe

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S FETVL PVSITIVN

            here’s a late night power jam for you and your non abducting self http://youtu.be/JTShSv-95uI

          • There’s a band I haven’t heard in forever!

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S FETVL PVSITIVN

            Um… why?

          • They got lost in my neverending shuffle of music, that’s all.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S FETVL PVSITIVN

            Happens to the best of us KJU

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            He discovered her so he thought he owned her. Was very abusive to her sexually. When she became the playmate of the year he got jealous. This was the days when being a playboy playmate of the year was world wide news. It meant something. Today it means nothing. No one appreciates a naked woman. Only hardcore stuff. He went off the rails and killed her and himself. A disgusting human being.

        • more beer

          He didn`t kill himself because he`s a pussy. Yea I saw that movie. As far as Eric Roberts goes The Pope of Greenwich Village was probably his best movie.

    • BLVKKBEVRD’S FETVL PVSITIVN

      please note: NSFW

      • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

        i know man, i am the king of NSFW. I helped kill embedding on FFB. Its part of my schtick. I was just hoping it would slip by because of loosen up friday.

        • BLVKKBEVRD’S FETVL PVSITIVN

          If you’re the king of NSFW, i’m king of NSFL

      • more beer

        That`s ok I`m self employed I won`t be firing myself ever!

  • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

    ………..

    • KJM

      YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP!!!

      • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

        It appears you and i are the only heston fans in the TOH/FFB universe.

        • KJM

          Heston was everywhere when I was a kid. He was all over TV and movie screens, especially in sci fi or adventure type stuff.

  • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

    SOME KIND OF EVIDENCE
    SOME KIND OF REASON

    • Guacamole Jim

      SOME KIND OF BUTTS
      SOME KIND OF LOLBUTTZ

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

      Why I can’t find a way to be in my life?

      • BLVKKBEVRD’S FETVL PVSITIVN

        No one can/die in obscurity

  • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

    At some point these threads become really hard to read. I hope everyone knows I respect everybody’s opinions. Most everyone on these boards are hilarious. I just hope everyone has a good friday night

    • KJM

      The Sour Diesel has arrived. It’s gonna be a good night.

    • Death

      I hope you choke on your beard.
      I kid I kid. Good friday night to you as well. Now I shall go and slumber

    • Look look look! he wants us to have a bad Saturday he just didn’t say it!

  • old_man_doom

    My grievance is more of a minor complaint compared to strep or some other terrible thing: I am completely stuck with writer’s block and lack of inspiration for getting some music recorded. I fucking want to work on something so bad, but every time I start, I always end up frustrated with whatever I do. The drive is there, it’s just that I can’t seem to get stoked on what I end up producing creatively. On the upside of things, I finished finals today, so my drunken assault on christmas can start in earnest (even though I am a life-loving poser who enjoys this time with my family).

  • KJM

    “THE MAN IN THE MOON TRIED TO FUCK MY SISTER!!!”

  • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

    Scott Stapp has basically gone bonkers. He apparently threatened to kill Obama and has said things like claiming to be a CIA agent and other insane ramblings. I’m saddened that this is what his life has come to. I hope he’ll decide to be voluntarily committed for his safety and well being.

    • KJM

      Ain’t happening. He’ll be dragged to the psych ward kicking and screaming. Maybe once he dries out he’ll realize what a shit human being he is and try to better himself.

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

        I wish he would just get the help. He needs to try to better himself unless he wants to be in psychiatric institutions for the rest of his life or end up dead in the worst case.

    • OK there’s a really fine line between doing something to oneself and succumbing to (insert here) mental illness. let me be straight with you: i have ZERO sympathy for this man. i do drugs that i enjoy and can still be safe. some people do drugs which put them in danger. if it’s a clear cut case of mental illness, he can seek help. if he has chosen to do drugs that fvck with his mind, that was HIS choice. i don’t buy Sergeant D’s argument that somebody who’s addicted to meth amphetamines needs our sympathy… it’s BULLSHVT. don’t do the drug in the first place, we’ve all seen Breaking Bad. addiction is a real thing and every sane human being knows that by now. domestic abuse doesn’t have one single sound argument behind it, and if it’s true that he’s committed domestic abuse then so be it. let’s say for example, i do PCP and commit domestic violence to my whomever, i’m guilty as fvck.
      sorry for the soapbox, but i really REALLY don’t have an ounce of sympathy for this fool.

      • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

        I would say you and i qualify as liberal conservatives. I agree with you 100% percent. I had a cousin who was a hardcore user. She went from family to family across the country. Everyone tried to help. I am talking her aunts, uncles, second cousins, etc, etc, it was a living hell. The theft, the needles , the hiv, it was a nightmare. We were like brother and sister growing up but at the end i didn’t recognize her anymore. It was not my cousin anymore. All hope for recovery was gone. And she went to clinics so many times i lost count. It is canada so help was abundant and free.
        I don’t judge anyone as far as drugs go, as long as you don’t ruin anyone elses life but your own. I also think the possession of firearms is mandatory in the times we live in. We see the police have no regard for the law. Why is there never a story about a cop saving a woman from an attack in an alley. It is because the police are afraid of hardcore gang members who could take on 4 or 5 of them. They prefer to beat on/kill innocent people with no strength to fight back. The police ? I don’t need no fucking police , i will protect my own loved ones and neighbors thank you very much society. I am glad i don’t live in a metropolis because i will be damned if i send my wife/girlfriend into the maelstrom without a firearm and the knowledge to use it.
        Drops mic.
        Thanks for getting me started on my rant McNulty.

        • Rant away Conan, it’s one of the many reasons why we love you. I am definitely Sorry to heat about your cousin. Many of us can relate.

        • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

          *libtards

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            I would probably sit at the far end of the liberal table closest to the conservative table. Conservatives have much more about them that i hate than liberals do.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S FETVL PVSITIVN

            as with my whole circle, I consider myself socially liberal and fiscally conservative.

          • I consider myself a democratically voted Supreme Leader and Ruler For Life.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S FETVL PVSITIVN

            canadians are all socialists anyway

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            works pretty good here. The story of no guns in canada is a lie though. The population of canada is 35 million total. Thats nothing. So of course there is going to be less crime and gun killings. The province i live in is the size of texas but the population has never exceeded a million people. The city i live in actually has the highest crime and violent crime rate in canada PER CAPITA. There is that deceiving word again. Only 25,000 people live here. It’s completely safe in my book. Per capita should be struck from discussions because it means jack shit.
            I am set if i have to have heart surgery or some other huge operation, absolutely 100% free.

          • KJM

            I live in Massachusetts which, as far as most conservatives are concerned, might as well be Canada.

          • KJM

            Also, it’s not so much a question of gun ownership as it is of people being in such a state of artificially generated fear that they feel the need to own an arsenal.

          • Actually per capita is the one thing dividing places like Chicago (my beloved murder capital hometown) and Detroit or Flint, MI. Chicago has the most murders in the nation, but I never got fucked with, shot, mugged, etc. in all my 14 years there. Now if I spent that long in Detroit, Flint, or East St. Louis, it’d be a whole other matter, since the chances of getting shot are much higher.

      • KJM

        Indeed. There’s a world of difference between some schmuck who gets addicted and becomes abusive while living a life that others can only dream of, and people who become addicts because they can’t cope with whatever psychological or physical pain they deal with on a daily basis.

      • Exactly, especially with meth, which definitely doesn’t have the best rep on earth. Meth is for those who think to themselves “Man, you know what? Crack and heroin isn’t fucking up my life enough, and not making me make enough extremely bad decisions! I need something that eats my teeth, makes me claw my face off, stay awake for a week at a time, drives me into paranoid schizophrenia, and quite possibly involves death by cop! BRILLIANT!”.

        Meth is essentially one small step below Krokodil, which maybe Scott should look into next.

    • Sheeit, check out some of his text messages his wife posted! He’s convinced ISIS is hunting down his daughter, and had a thinly veiled death threat: “I’m coming to get you Satan and children. No mercy. You know how this ends. God created you and now God is ending you.”. With that, the drugs, and now having threatened to kill Obama, he’s looking at some real prison time, and not just getting tossed in the hoo hoo house for a little while.

      Next week, on The Adventures Of Scott Stapp In The Enchanted Kingdom:

      http://jokideo.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/282725_308938575862965_930464987_n.jpg

      Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/entertainment/ent-columns-blogs/jose-lambiet/article4083816.html#storylink=cpy

  • Gvrp

    Get more betterer, Papa Joe!

  • KJM

    “Diarrhetic Strange Gods”

    Band name.

  • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

    Nothing about you isn’t a scrub.

    • talking scrub about Papa Joe… that’s a paddlin’

    • BLVKKBEVRD’S WVNDERLVST

      i hope the neighbors have a good time reconciling this.

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    watch the first vid (muted)
    while listening to the second vid (100%vol)
    —————

    http://youtu.be/JTZXIVM0bsY

    http://youtu.be/EKA69VO2QcY

    • Lacertilian

      Just realised I like kettles, they don’t beep at you like microwaves when they’re done.
      Microwaves are impatient wankers.

  • that header pic is so my life. my bedroom has way to many empties. i like to call them “party skeletons”. also i saw gas for $2.17 today. holy shit right