Flush It Friday: Special Guest Edition

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Hai!

After killing Reposted A7x Fan for making my fanbase look even stupider than it already is, I needed to explore new horizons to embellish my already fucking illustrious career! So here I am writing this Flush It Friday thingy! I like Fridays a lot. It means the week is almost over and I won’t have to steal any more riffs until next week. Also, I can play my Call of Doody games and 360 no-scope some Rings of Saturn fans. What if I told you I was actually really super kvlt and I just like money so I staty in Avenged Sevenfold? Lol “staty”. Look at that typo, it’s like “Stacey”, but not really. Do you like going off on tangents? I like to – did you guys play my new game yet? I mean our new game, of course. It sucks! You should totally buy it though because it’s quite good at repelling loofahs. I don’t like loofahs, THEY ALWAYS TRY TO CLEAN ME! FUCK OUT OF HERE WITH THAT SHIT I JUST WANT TO WRESTLE IN THE MUD WITH SYN! STAY SHADOWS!

Good: When I went to the bathroom this morning it was the greatest-feeling poop I have ever had. Like, when it came out, I was in pure ecstasy. My body was so happy to be rid of the festering monster of a turd! Note to self: work festering monster turd into the next album somehow, probably with the FFDP riff we stole.

Bad: I don’t like the cold. It makes my fingers all stiff and stuff. It should not be cold anymore, it should be hot so I can look at all the cute girlies in their miniskirts. It’s much easier to hunt evil loofahs in the warm weather too. Bitches be hiding in the snow when it’s cold out. Then they pop out like a snowcanic eruption and are like, “Time to get clean, mofo!”

Ugly: Avenged Sevenfold hasn’t been creative since City of Evil, but other bands are always staying creative and I wish I could do that too but at the same time I am making some good money so I am conflicted between being a total sellout and making the music I want to make one day I hope to be like Metallica and be able to take a century to release a new album and also that way I wont have to have a side career of loofah-hunting because I will probably have enough money to learn what a run on sentence i-OHMYGOD THE ICE CREAM TRUCK!

It’s Friday! Flush your life and pretend there is something good about it!

 

[Editor’s Note: We apologize for the inanity of the above message. Here’s an animal gif to compensate you for lost time.]

http://i.imgur.com/JXqKvRF.gifv

  • NefariousDude

    M Shadows!

    • M Shadows!

      Nefarious Dude!

  • sweetooth0

    Animal GIF looks like a deleted scene from The Thing. It turns into the monster right before McKready torches it with his flamethrower!

  • Dagon

    GOOD: OBITUARY playing tonight!

    BAD: I am currently struggling to make progress in my readings. I read 2 pages and start falling asleep or get extremely distracted. May have to switch studying venues or something like that.

    UGLY: My face after I broke some mirrors with it. In the United States.

    • Guacamole Jim

      I get dat reference, homie. #stayskitz #staynoided

      • Dagon

        Sk33t Sk33t

        • Guacamole Jim

          5k337 5k337

          *FTFY

          • Dagon

            5kvv7 5kvv7

          • Guacamole Jim

            Xkvv7 Xkvv7

    • LobsterAttack

      Let me know if you find a way to improve your attention span. I can’t seem to make decent progress in my reading either, and it gets a bit frustrating.

      • Guacamole Jim

        I’ve often found that problem is

  • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

    The bad (always bad): Apparently some shit happened around the world, and it fucked shit up and affected shit, and people have an opinion about it. Rinse. Repeat ad infinitum.

    http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/bfd2.gif

  • NefariousDude

    The good: M SHADOWS writing articles

    The bad: the articles consisting of more than just “M” and “Shadows”

    The ugly: A7x repost account MIA

    • Guacamole Jim

      At least Matt Damon did it right!

      • Matt Damon

        MATT DAMON

        • 64 Crayons!

          64 CRAYONS!

  • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

    Good: I got a job, the new War album, the amount of good concerts coming to my area, my computer is finally getting fixed, my birthday is in less than a month
    Bad: lent, the meanness towards my favorite food place, Motograter isn’t coming to my area
    Ugly: the fact T Rex has reformed with only the original drummer.

    • DoYouThinkHeSaurus

      You said you’ve got a T-Rex?

      • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

        No, I was talking about the rock band T Rex that Marc Bolan was in.

        • DoYouThinkHeSaurus

          Don’t move! He can’t see us if we don’t move.

  • Edward/Breegrodamus

    GOOD: First week of my three week sabbatical has been solid. Spent a lot of time with my better half, played a shitload of albums and Dragon Age, took care of some stuff at home, saw friends, etc.

    BAD: Need to start looking for work in two weeks.

    UGLY: I need to write some shit. I thought being unemployed would motivate me to be productive and creative but it actually had the opposite effect.

    • You beat Inquisition yet?

      • Edward/Breegrodamus

        Yeah. I beat it once on Normal. I played it for a bit on Hard then started a new game on Nightmare. I haven’t beaten it on Nightmare but I easily can, I killed all ten dragons with my party which is now about level 20. I have two games going on Nightmare (the one where I beat all the dragons) and another one because I wanted to try the Warrior class on Nightmare and in my new game my party is already tuff, lol

        • Wow dude, you’ve put way more time into that game than I have.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            I have put in some time, that’s for sure. Enjoyable game.

          • You wouldn’t happen to be on Xbox, would you?

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            PS4.

          • AUGH!
            Foiled again…

  • BAD: Reading this made me cringe so hard that I’m pretty sure I ruptured my own fucking spleen.
    GOOD: Shit, let me think about it.

    • Dagon

      I diagnosed a ruptured spleen in the ER last year, and the attending wasn’t putting faith in me. Then the ultra-sound dude came and was like “Dude, where’s your spleen?” and I was like “SEE! CALLED IT! SUCK ON DEEZ NUTZ”

  • THE GOOD: I resumed my ballet teaching job this week and picked up three new guitar students AND I’m almost finished with this idiot web design job.
    THE BAD: Everything I just listed means I’ve probably slept about 15 minutes this entire week. At least next week is spring break and I’ll have more time than ever to *sob* work even more.
    Also, this post.
    THE UGLY: Started writing the new Enbilulugugal album this week. Yo Crucial Blast, sign us back.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHd8WkKM1_8

    • The Beargod

      *hadn’t realized you in Enbilulugugal*

      • The Beargod

        Now I guess I need to buy all that stuff I just pirated.

      • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

        Me neither! I saw one of their CDs in a Bull Moose Records one time. Had no idea the ToH’s very own Molenaar was involved!

        • The Beargod

          If I saw, I’d buy. I kinda, really like it.

          Btw, didya check out the song I linked yesterday.

        • Edward/Breegrodamus

          You guys never read my first None More Black article.

          • The Beargod

            I did, I did not realize Molenaar didn’t just recommend it. But also played in it.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus
          • The Beargod

            Best version of a gorgwous song. Shame they never did anything else worth a dime.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            I’m also p partial to this jam. Don’t even get me started on the Reservoir Dogs soundtrack.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSHYlSxQyJM

          • The Beargod

            Tarantiino has a knack for exquisite soundtracks.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus
          • Dagon

            That scene with Django riding slow on the caravan and this song comes on is fucking awesome.

          • Lacertilian

            He’s copped flak for not actually have someone make a soundtrack per se but rather he just chooses a bunch of songs that already exist where he thinks they’ll fit. Sour grapes.

          • Lacertilian

            Nancy Sinatra recorded some of the better Bond themes too, with that sorta haunting tone and scratchy 60’s recording going on

        • I didn’t know our CDs were sold (but obviously not selling) anywhere. That means some poor record store douche definitely lost his job somewhere along the way.

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            Yep. Bull Moose Records in Portland, Maine. I saw one there on two separate occasions. Almost bought one, but I bought a few Devin Townsend Project/Band albums instead. 🙂

          • As a strong DT detractor, I say you made the right choice.

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            Haha, I’m aware of your DT hate-r-aid, that’s why I threw that out there.

            I didn’t actually buy any DT that day. I bought Black Witchery and Carpathian Forest albums. Was very close to picking up the Enbiligudkalzbxb album, though. Will definitely get it if I see it again.

          • Oooooh yeah, Black Witchery>>>>>>>>>>>>>
            Do you know which album it was? I figure it was probably The Day After or Noisemongers for Goatserpent since those were the two “big deal” albums.

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            I’m pretty sure it was Noizemongers. The cover looks familiar.

          • Yeah, CB would probably get it in stores. Meanwhile the rest will periodically show up on Discogs and sell for far, far more than they are worth. Which is nothing anyway.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Which Carpathian Forest?

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            Defending the Throne of Evil (which I think is their best album).

        • LobsterAttack

          You’ve got a Bull Moose around? You’re not a Mainer, are you?

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            Not one in my immediate vicinity, no. I’m from New Hampshire, but I visit Portland quite frequently. There’s also a Bull Moose in Portsmouth, NH–another town I visit a lot, but one that isn’t really close by.

          • LobsterAttack

            Word.

      • What? Molenaar’s is in that crazy named band? cool!

        • It’s not the only one, but my identity will remain hidden for another day.

          • #hugs bruh!

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            I have recent photographic evidence concerning your opinion of anonymity, haha

        • Dagon

          I bet he is Boogey Man

    • Dagon

      I just realized I like Enbilugugal

      • You’re just sucking up.

        • Dagon

          I never heard it before

          Is this the heavy metal kids like?

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            I like heavy metal.

  • The Beargod

    GOOD: Back on the dating game (a little frightening, haven’t been out for long, mainly fucking exciting though). Managed to play bass for ten minutes or so. TRIUMPH!

    BAD: It could be that I drink very excessively. Like a holic or something. I don’t care, but apparently everyone I know does.

    UGLY: Your mother.

    • Edward/Breegrodamus

      Pulling an Edward.

      UGLY: our scorched Earth war of opinion over early Leviathan albums, haha

      • The Beargod

        #ToiletCivilWar2015

        • Edward/Breegrodamus

          War of the Roses.

        • what’s so civil about war anyways?

          • The Beargod

            I haven’t mauled him.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus
          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            That is a great song. I always preferred the cover of Get Ready that Rare Earth did though

        • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

          I’m like Switzerland. I stay neutral.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            I’m like Finland. I stay neutral, but I’m fucking scared of the big guy next to me. He fucked my shit before, he’ll fuck my shit again. I need to be a friend to him.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            That’s a good point.

          • more beer

            See above.

          • The Beargod

            I’m that big guy.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            This is the part where I throw my head back and laugh. HAHAHAHHA

          • The Beargod

            No. Serious. I can see you texting, I’m right next to you.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            You would not be alive. No one enters my property without my permission. I see all.

          • plus, guard doges

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            They will tear everyonenbut me alive.

          • more beer

            Poison steaks is the solution to that. Just saying there is a way around that.

  • Good: I start my new job tuesday, no more working till 3am bullshit

    The Bad: 8 hours till I can play Bloodborne

    The Ugly: I can’t think of anything, this has been a relatively good week.

  • Good: Going to the zoo with a lady tomorrow. I liek aminals.
    Bad: Every other minute of the weekend will be spent working.
    Ugly: 2 sore 2 furious

    • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

      I don’t like zoos. The animals seem so sad when they’re in the zoo.

    • Dagon

      Zoos are good dates. Nice move.

      Are you sore from leg day?

      • Switched from doing strength training workouts to bodybuilding stuff. I am not used to it and it fucking hurts.

        • Leif Bearikson

          I think I’m going to switch to low reps/heavy weights next week. I also think I’m going to hate myself.

          • I did it for a long while. I also got kinda fat at my strongest doing that.

          • Dagon

            So you’re going for a metabolic kind of stimulus with higher reps? You missed me a bit with the “bodybuilding stuff” but I didn’t want to sound like a pesky kid asking questions lol

          • More reps, lower weight, focusing way more on isolating muscles. Previously just focused on increasing strength at the 4 major lifts with way heavier weight and fewer reps.

          • Dagon

            Gotcha. You previous program is where I’m at, kinda. I don’t really isolate.

            Did you change your diet to acommodate the new training regimen?

          • Yep. Cut calories pretty heavily so everything feels more difficult. BUT my beer belly has melted away!

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            I’ve had to switch to a more bodybuilding-esque routine recently, too. I’ve always squatted deep (below parallel, nearly Olympic-lift deep; a byproduct of strict form enforcers in college) and heavy, and for the first time ever I’m seriously concerned that I might blow out my knee. One of my knees has been painful beyond usual soreness recently, and it has this weird “hitch” like feeling occasionally, accompanied by a very unsettling and painful cracking/popping. Think it’ll be.lighter weights and different exercises for awhile at least. I love squatting, but I don’t really want to risk a serious injury to appease my psyche/ego.

          • I feel you. Lifting injuries are no joke.

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            Yeah. I think this is just residual wear-and-tear and breakdown from years of it, but this is the first time it has me legitimately nervous.

          • Christ. I just remembered that you’re like a year older than I am. The future is awful.

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            Indeed. I’ve been fortunate not to accrue any serious injuries over the years from sports and weightlifting, but the gradual bumps and wear-and-tear is very real and I’m starting to feel it. I can only imagine what it will be like in fifteen or twenty years.

          • Leif Bearikson

            My father is a former powerlifter. He does not make it sound pleasant.

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            That’s awesome that your dad was a powerlifter! I never competed in powerlifting, but I spent many years training in that style. I can’t even imagine how one feels after training and competing decades. It takes a toll.

          • Stockhausen

            NO KNEE SNAPPING NO GAIN.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Work your way up to the Ocular Patdown

          • Stockhausen

            Bro, you were accumulating mass.

          • Leif Bearikson

            CULTIVATING

          • Stockhausen

            FORGIVE ME BEARSTACHE.

          • Leif Bearikson

            Yea, I only plan on doing it for a short while to shock my system. Definitely not a program I want to stay on.

      • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

        I am. I was at the gym yesterday for the first time in a few days. I worked out very hard and I hurt because of it.

    • PAIN IS WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY BRAH

      • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

        YEAH BRAH! BDUBS IS ON ME!

        • post-workout BROtein!!!

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            You gotta have your Brotein if you want the women to love you!

          • Guacamole Jim

            Am I the only one who knows what brotein means??

          • whoa. accidental urban dictionary

          • I’m going to look it up so I can incorporate it into my vocab.

          • Mark Hunt’s Cardio

            Uh…you should mean your Bro-cab.

        • Akerskronks ov Steele

          GETCHA PULL!

        • CyberneticOrganism

          WINGS & TITS BRAH

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Have you uh… ‘ave you ever been wiv a lady?

      http://www.hollywoodchicago.com/sites/default/files/EricTerry.jpg

      • Guacamole Jim

        No wat I mean, say n’more!

      • john

        Wink wink nudge nudge.

    • “i live my life 80lbs at a time, for those few hours I’m free. And then I hate myself for the next few days.” oh is that not how the quote goes?

    • You lady best leik pugs, son.

      GL

  • CyberneticOrganism

    Reposted A7X Fan is dead?! NOOOOOO!

    • M Shadows!

      He rose from the dead this morning, but then I killed him again so

  • Commander Shepard

    Good: I have discovered that listening to grindcore whilst slaughtering reapers ups my efficiency by a whopping 80%

    Bad: Ashley is drunk again, real close to jettisoning her ass.

    Ugly: Jack Bauer lololololol

    • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

      Why are you so mean to Jack?

      • To hide her crush.

      • Commander Shepard

        Gotta bring down that ego a bit, he hasn’t saved any galaxies just yet. Asserting my heroic dominance and what not.

        Its fun also

        • It’s a renegade week huh?

          • Commander Shepard

            I went to metalsucks the other day so yea it is

  • InfinityOfThoughts

    Good: I get out of work an hour early tomorrow.

    Bad: I really need to do my taxes.

    Ugly: Fucking metro Boston drivers. This is why mini-guns aren’t allowed on civilian cars…because my path to work would look like Twisted Metal.

    • Dagon

      I would totally drive for you just so I could be part of the carnage while you blast them dudes on the mini-gun.

      • InfinityOfThoughts

        Seeing as you’re the Fish God, could you make an actual Sharknado?

        • Dagon

          I could make a mini shark gun that shoots piranhas for bullets

          • InfinityOfThoughts

            Mother of God…

    • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

      What do your taxes look like? W2, 1098-E (qualified student interest), etc? Pretty simple? If so, don’t be afraid and just bang that shit like you’re working for Naughty America.

      • Dagon

        +1 bc the end

        • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

          Seconded.

      • InfinityOfThoughts

        Standard W2. Guess its just the Thoreau “Civil Disobedience” coming out.

        • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

          Understandable. But if you withheld anything at all and don’t have other large sources of income (1099s, etc), you’ll likely get a refund. Go for it! Money shot that bitch!

          • InfinityOfThoughts

            Skeet skeet skeet

      • KJM

        BRAZZERS.

    • KJM

      Growing up in the Boston area has successfully put me off ever wanting to own a car.

  • Edward/Breegrodamus

    For the love of god Toilet friends don’t sleep on Shawn Phillips’ Second Contribution. It’s on Spotify. Someone burned me a CD of it like five or six years ago and it found it’s way back into my rotation this week.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgZkL3-zPFk

    • Dagon

      On the “don’t sleep” category, there is a full stream of new Wino + Conny Ochs folk album and you should listen because Wino

      https://soundcloud.com/earsplit/sets/wino-conny-ochs-freedom

      • The Beargod

        It’s fucking awesome. Their second together.

        • Dagon

          Wino kills acoustic songs. He is the man. Conny Ochs not so shabby himself.

  • CyberneticOrganism

    GOOD: Solid, productive week at work. Cleaned up my guitar last night and it sounds/looks like a Lamborghini again. Your mom.

    BAD: Next week at work (and all next month) will be busy as hell. It’s still cold. Your mom.

    UGLY: When your mom queefs it sounds like two midgets applauding with handfuls of raw bologna.

    http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s—JfWssIP–/18k2orxs1ylq3jpg.jpg

  • The Good: Jeff Goldblum
    The Bad: nothing!
    The Ugly: nothing!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zi8zwN57Ug

    • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

      Jimmy plz!

    • Scrimm

      More of this.

  • Shrimp in a Pizza Box

    Bad: Life
    Good: Overcame my social anxiety and finally started posting comments on the Toilet! (but you probably already knew that)
    Actually relevant good: Hmm…
    Ugly: Nine Inch Nails. Dey sux.

    • You’re lucky Dubya’s in a meeting. He’d defend his one true love Reznor to the death with tears in his eyes.

      • Dagon

        Beat me to it by a few seconds

      • Formerly Known As Oli Sykes

        I’d help him. The cult of Reznor must prevail.

    • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

      That rustled my jimmies. NIN is awesome, especially The Downward Spiral.

    • Dagon

      Oh mighty Dubya, I SUMMON YOU

    • it’s great to have you around, SiaPB!
      whoops, you lied about the “Ugly” part

    • The Beargod

      Tried the Downward Spiral today.

      NOPE.

      • Shrimp in a Pizza Box

        I was actually listening to it while I wrote that comment, never again.

      • Scrimm

        I second this

    • Sir Tapir the Based

      I’ve tried, but NIN never clicks with me.

    • LobsterAttack

      Clack clack. This one disagrees with you re NIN. But in a friendly manner.

  • Good: My wife starts maternity leave next week so my kid will go to bed at a decent hour and I can have time for other stuff.
    Bad: My wife is home for the next 4 months.
    Ugly: Everything is beautiful.

    • congrats on having another kid! i have none, and have no desire to.

      • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

        I don’t want kids either. It seems like my life would be more peaceful and successful without them.

      • If you value your life, you’ll put it off for as long as possible. Or you will be lucky enough to settle down with a lady who does not want to procreate. I really can’t complain, my wife is great and lets me blast grindcore in the car.

        • Dagon

          Wifey material. My ex hated metal but she loved hip hop so that was ok

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            My girlfriend now loves hip hop and tolerates my love of metal and even weirder stuff, so…

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I’m single and I don’t want relationships at the moment.

          • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair

            I’m with ya on that one. I don’t wanna hear “I love you”, I wanna hear “Friends With Benefits”.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I just want to improve my life before I get back in the relationship game.

          • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair

            After my last relationship 7 years ago, I gave up on the whole thing. If something works out and happens, fine, but it hasn’t been a concern of mine for quite a while.

          • you could convince me to like power metal with that luscious beard of yours

          • Dagon

            No one could convince me to like power metal.

          • Lacertilian

            There are people who will slay you for such comments around here..although they may be banned

          • God ov All

            Did I miss some TOH drama? Where is Randall lately?

          • Lacertilian

            I dunno God, just fucking around

          • God ov All

            Ah gotcha. My inner blonde shines through once again.

          • Lacertilian

            Are there many other blonde deities with you and Thor?

          • God ov All

            Blonde Diety masterrace. All us important ones are blonde

          • Tyree
          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            Such good music.

          • Dagon

            If you ever hit a girl up with “Ayy you know what I just love? Swallowing Bile” and she’s still cool with you – she’s a keeper.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            I asked her not to check out Machismo haha

          • Tell her to check out some of Aspa’s non-musical work.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            Honey there is this racist musician and noise artist I like who is also a pornographer, want to see some of his public bondage stuff?

          • The Beargod

            You should show her to the stuff where chick dump cigarettes on themselves… or the bestiality stories he publishes.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            I don’t even want to look at that stuff myself, lol

          • The Beargod

            Yeah… me neither…

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            I’m aware dude is in that game but I’ll stick to the noizzz

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            Don’t lie.

          • The Beargod

            …I, uh, never lie.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            I can see that erection. You should not wear tight jeans.

          • The Beargod

            I, uh, it’s err. You see, the thing… is. *Backs off hastily*

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            Tapir 1: This is Tapir 1, we have trapped the bear in a corner.
            Tapir 2: This is Tapir 2, I have a clear shot. Should I take it?
            Tapir 1: Take the shot now!
            *bear gets shot in the head and dies*
            Tapir 1: We finally got the bastard! Great job team.

            A funeral was held for the bear, but no one came to the funeral. Alpha Tapir Team lived on as heroes, becoming gods amongst others.

          • The Beargod

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            Ewwwww, that’s from Scrubs. Scrubs is a shitty show!

          • The Beargod

            Came first when I googled. I came second.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            You know what’s a good game? Bloodborne is a good game 🙂

          • The Beargod

            So I hear, Archbauer won’t shut up about it, I’d get it but I don’t have a PS4

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            Get a sugar daddy to buy one for you.

          • The Beargod

            Perhaps, I will.

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            Brother Mikko is such a big teddy bear.

          • Dagon

            That was probably a sound choice.

            Low key play it when she’s sleeping. That is a lovely way to wake up your special person.

          • more beer

            My chick loves metal and goes to shows with me. Plus she loves good beer. Could I ask for any better than that?

          • She’s got a 50% chance of hip hop if I put the iPod on shuffle.

      • more beer

        Good for you me either! I told some friends who had their first about 6 months ago the other day. One of my greatest accomplishments in life is never having changed a diaper.

      • CONANtheDjentlyFuckingKING

        ……….

  • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

    Flush Jeff Goldblum and the Marshall Tucker Band Greatest hits album I own. Why do bands use single edits on their greatest hits CDs? Can you at least try to fit the entire song?

  • JWG

    GOOD: Impending Weekend, no immediate or work-related responsibilities until mid-Week. My only decision this weekend will be whether to listen to choons, read, play games, or watch more movies. Or skip all that and just enjoy the early Spring weather.

    BAD: Have something. Can’t share it, though, because it’s not as “bad” for me as it is for a student I was helping this term. Confidentiality blocks me from being able to get it off my chest though.

    UGLY: Doody.

    https://38.media.tumblr.com/03b56205c756f46bca0d3bf9b6af4a7a/tumblr_mku8d2Rn2j1s0aasqo2_r1_250.gif

  • Guacamole Jim

    THE GOOD: My parents are coming up this evening to buy me a dinner, because they love me more than my brothers. Seriously, fuck those posers.

    THE BAD: I have to skip the gym tonight to hang out with said parents. HOW AM I GOING TO GET SWOLE IF I HAVE TO SKIP TONIGHT I WAS GONNA DO MORE BICEP CURLS

    THE UGLY: I have been eating a horrifying amount of carrots lately. My poops have been getting oranger and oranger.

    https://p.gr-assets.com/540×540/fit/hostedimages/1380426924/853415.gif

  • Bad: I will have to cross the hellish Maracaibo centre at foot because I don’t have enough cash for the cab to the terminal. I packed up my rosary and my Vampire Hunter whip just in case.

    Good: next week is free for me! #HolyWeek2015! <3 No work!

    Ugly: greed and money. There's salary re-ordering in the college I work and there's a havoc everywhere with the salary re-acomodation.

    Advice of the week: do not trust in journalists, they're the worst guild ever.

  • Tyree

    Food: Humans
    Dad: Bill Paxton
    Snugly: Natalie Imbruglia

    • Stahp, yall are tempting me to listen to her for the first time in ages.

    • Dagon

      Cannibalism interests me. That german dude who inspired “Mein Teil” said it tasted like pork, only slightly bitter.

      I love pork.

      • longpig

        • Dagon

          I googled that and was surprised. That shit’s crazy.

      • let’s all try human meat this weekend, and disqus it on monday

        • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

          I’m not a cannibal. If I have to I’ll eat someone I hate.

          • that escalated quickly.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            If I can’t find someone I hate I’ll just eat Hufu which is human tofu. Don’t ask how I know that.

        • Sir Tapir the Based

          I’m in!

        • Dagon

          Good luck dealing with all the holes in your brain afterwards.

          Ever heard of Kuru?

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Kuru and its effects still sound like an early 70s cult horror movie to me.

          • Dagon

            It’s a great concept. I like to study obskvrv diseases I will probably never see.

          • you’re talking about a disease, Glock Jim’s talking about sweet pork chop…. who do i trust?!?!

          • Dagon

            Trust the pork chop guy. Pork chops are delish

          • Tyree
          • Dagon

            FUCK WE’RE ALL DEAD GET THE FUCK OUT

            Hahahahah the voice work for the kid in the red hat is killing me

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Who wants a body massage?

        • Guacamole Jim

          SPOILER ALERT: It tastes like an oddly sweet pork chop.

          ……. where’d you guys all go?

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            You’re probably really tasty with that guacamole.

          • Guacamole Jim

            You’d better get over here, big boy. (RFI)

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            I’ll eat your liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

          • SHIT, tapir what was that cool Christian (acoustic maybe?) band you told us about a while back?

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            Wovenhand? ‘Twas probably Wovenhand. I love Wovenhand.

          • yup. thanks bby

          • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair

            Current 93 is definitely NOT Christian.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            David Tibet has said he’s christian. Many of their songs have christian themes.

          • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair

            My goof. Never heard about that.

          • The Beargod

            Oh oh oh, have ye listened to Kimi Kärki’s solo album?

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            Nope. Should I?

          • The Beargod

            I would wager there’s a chance you would like it. It’s year or two old and mostly acoustic. Here’s a song, it’s not super-descriptive of the album but it gives you the mainframe.
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziW8nTWLU8k

          • Saved.

          • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair

            Billy Mays lives!!!!! ^^^^^

        • Tyree
        • Everyone knows that women taste better, and I’m not making a sexual innuendo here. It’s just the lack of certain hormones and the fat that makes it more delicate flavored. Go for the bums and the legs if you want the best parts. Also, the tongues are great grilled.

          • Venezuela goes harder than I thought.

          • hey, how can I put an image after a “click here to read more”. The image I want to share is NSFW and I don’t want to be published here without the spoiler.

          • Guacamole Jim

            Add two pictures, make the second one the one you want to hide.

          • Shrimp in a Pizza Box

            I’d say just put a random space somewhere in the link and make people copy-paste it.

          • I’m going to tell you the #LinkFridayStory now! so, pay attention, toiletters! n-n)

            http://www.argnoticias.com/images/Teletubbies-5.jpg

            In the 90’s there was a very well known case of a serial killer in the Andes region of the country. The guy’s called Dorángel Vargas, and was a mentally disabled hobo.

            Born in the 50’s, Vargas born and raised in Táchira, a mountain state. Given his poor state since a child, he committed regular burglary and lived under a bridge like a regular hobo.

            In 1995, someone accused him of murder. And after the police investigated the crime, they found that the rests of the victim were only the feets and the hands: Dorángel Vargas killed the victim and eat him.

            He was internalized temporary in a psychiatric institution, but the psychiatrists didn’t found any proof of a mental illness and Dorángel was released.

            In that time, he was again in the regular hobo life with someone who met in the temporary psychiatric instance, asking for money near a river and even built a house with garbage in a mountain.

            Months later, Dorángel killed the other hobo and cooked the remains to make a stew for empanadas. He said to the police that the guy was a good person and for that he must taste good, and to Dorángel, it was.

            In three years, Dorángel Vargas stalked lonely people near the Torbes River in Táchira. He hitted them with a metallic tube, chopped them and returned to his home to cook them and throwing away the arms and feets. The denounces of the dissapearings started, but the police couldn’t resolve the crimes so easily because the victims weren’t similars, they were random people and mostly were adult men.

            Given his poverty, Dorángel didn’t have a fridge, so he killed one or two people only to not starve.

            The policemen had more and more denounces. And they started to investigate the hobos. That’s when they suspected of Dorángel given his first encounter with law and the first cannibalism act.

            In 99, Dorángel was captured. Some kids found human rests near the river, and when the police started to investigate the area, they found a lot more of human disposal near a farm. Finally, they found the house were Dorángel have three human heads in the kitchen and a pot with a stew of bowels.

            http://www.asesinos-en-serie.com/new/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/comegente-olla.jpg

            In the next days, they found 6 more dead.

            When he was interrogated, he expressed no remorse in his acts. And alegated that he killed 10 people to eat them. But the police had 40 denounces of dissapearings.

            His favorite victims were adult men, he said that women have the flesh “perfumed” and didn’t liked the flavor because he didn’t get satisfied his hunger with that. Instead, he said that men taste like ham. His favorite part was the belly. Also, he said that the eyes and the tongues were awesome to make soup.

            He’s still alive, reclused in a jail. Obviously, the other inmates fear him because he’s schizophrenic.

            In one of his interviews he told:

            “I have no remorse. Like Church says: I shared my part with others, and they praised me for the stew of the empanadas. I have entered this crap because I need it. On the contrary, I like it because I like meat”.

            This was national TV. And yes, national TV in the 90 was very fucked up here.

            http://vimg.tu.tv/imagenes/videos/d/o/dorangel-vargas-el-canibal-el-come_imagenGrande2.jpg

            Thank youuu! n-n)

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            That was an interesting story. Thank you, Link.

          • You’re welcome, bro!

            It’s, indeed, very intense. The place where it was that story it’s a very rural region, so the policemen didn’t found anything at time because they were peasants too, probably.

            If they acted quickly, all of those deaths would not happen. Also, it’s kind of sad that the guy was schizophrenic and the psychiatric hospital rejected him in the first time because he was “okay”.

            Those are the kind of crimes that could be evited a lot. Pretty sad.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            What is it about the severely mentally ill that always results in some horrible desecration of a human body? That always seems to be what they’re ultimately compelled to do. Dismemberment, cannibalism, necrophilia, etc.

            Why doesn’t the brain compel these people to go eat grass or something? That would be so much less awful.

          • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair
          • more beer

            I have heard this story before. Pretty crazy shit.

          • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair

            “Months later, Dorángel killed the other hobo and cooked the remains to
            make a stew for empanadas. He said to the police that the guy was a good
            person and for that he must taste good, and to Dorángel, it was.”

            Sounds logical!

          • Dagon

            You actually have a good point. On the other hand, womyn are moar likely to go to the doctor and to be on frequent medication, so depending on the drugs they’re taking it might affect their taste.

          • go for the #hobohips

          • CyberneticOrganism

            FLAGGED FOR CANNIBALIZM

          • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair
        • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair
      • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair
    • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

      Food: I can’t put it due to the spam filter
      Dad:Eddie Trunk
      Snugly: Too many to list

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
    • The thumbnail for that first video is freaking me out

  • That bulldog looks like a Predator, scary stuff.
    GOOD: Bloodborne. So fucking good. Will be playing it all weekend, I hope. Maybe play some Borderlands with my gf, too.
    BAD: Bloodborne. Shit kills you, and kills you, and kills you, and kills you. Work. I actually have to do stuff because I need to finish an animation by the next tradeshow.
    UGLY: I forgot to do laundry Wednesday so I had to wear the same underpants two days in a row. Worst feeling ever.

    • GF: “hey wanna do some borderlands?” you: “sure, let me just get to this next lamp” 2 hours later: “WHERE IS THE FUCKING LAMP!!?”

      • I love lamp

        • DARKBEARD

          I’ve noticed far less lamps than bonfires. Always after the boss, pretty much

          • Yea, they are much more scarce, though there seems to be more shortcuts to unlock. I just beat the blood starved beast (really easy imo) and dunno what to do next

          • I gave up last night after I made it to the top of the tower that the mini-gun guy is on, and I accidentally dodged off the tower about 30 seconds into fighting him, lost all my echoes. FUCK.

          • FUCK

          • THAT

          • FUCKING

          • GUY

          • Shrimp in a Pizza Box

            You can tell a boss is Ornstein&Smough-core when someone needs to post 4 separate disqus comments to flip him off.

          • He’s not even a boss though, just a fucking jackass who asks you if you still dream when he kills you. BITCH IM DEAD HOW SHOULD I KNOW

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Call him a lolpeenz

          • the lolbuttzhurt is so thick one can cut it with a knife:
            http://www.ign.com/articles/2015/03/26/how-and-why-bloodborne-lost-me

          • Shrimp in a Pizza Box

            IGN, lolbuttzor.

          • Check out this major league doucher: http://www.forbes.com/sites/davidthier/2015/03/27/echo-chamber-bloodbornes-critical-praise-is-gaming-journalisms-failure/
            He basically says review outlets aren’t warning people that the game is really hard and that not everyone will like it. Wut.

          • had my fingers crossed that site used Disqus.

          • it does, just not actual disqus accounts cause ign is stupid like that

          • He complains about it taking 15 minutes to get back to teh cleric beast. All you have to do is open the shortcut pleb

          • DARKBEARD

            Shoot him off the tower, you can also get a set of armor that makes him not aggro

          • ELABORATE

          • DARKBEARD

            The black church set I think it’s called will make him not aggro. Do no if it works if you’ve already aggro him. It’s in the same area as darkbeast praal, or whev his name is

          • DARKBEARD

            Reached thru cathedral ward, I believe

          • hmmm I haven’t found darkbeast yet

    • Edward/Breegrodamus

      I should look into this Bloodborne game.

      • did you play dark souls 1 and 2? If not I highly recommend playing those first

        • Edward/Breegrodamus

          I played Demon’s Souls but did not beat it.

          • Shrimp in a Pizza Box

            lots of stuff changed between demon’s souls and dark souls, definitely play at least ds1.

          • I actually never played demons souls

          • I played about an hour or two of Dark Souls but it never caught on with me. This game clicked about an hour in. I was still getting wrecked up until I beat the first boss on my 5th try or so. Now I very rarely die unless I take a stupid fall or fight a new boss.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            I never played the Souls games, but I’m loving Bloodborne.

          • Dark souls 1 and 2 are both fantastic imo

    • Formerly Known As Oli Sykes

      I would play Bloodborne, but I don’t own a PS4, so I’m gonna spend my Easter Holiday’s (When I’m not doing media) playing Pillars Of Eternity instead.
      Man this has been a good week for RPG’s

    • Stanley

      How many pairs of underpants do you got?

  • Matt Damon

    MD: MATT DAMON

    MD: MATT DAMON

    MD: MATT DAMON

    • CyberneticOrganism

      ❤️

  • Spear

    The Good: I’m getting a kitty!

    The Bad: I probably won’t be sleeping until Sunday evening!

    The Ugly: Mrs. Spear lost out on a great job offer due to state budget reforms. Thanks again, Scott Walker!

    Edit: Also good- Alkaloid. God damn.

    • Scott Walker is easily the worst governor currently in office. We got stuck with a pretty shitty one here in Kansas, but Walker takes the douche cake.

      • Spear

        Never trust a politician that makes cuts to education.

        • more beer

          Never trust a politician ever!

      • Sir Tapir the Based

        But Scott Walker makes great music.

    • KJM

      Aw man, you’re stuck with Walker? Sorry about that.

  • Formerly Known As Oli Sykes

    Good: End of term, and the only thing I have to do is a media assignment that I actually enjoy doing. After that, its two weeks with Pillars Of Eternity. Can’t fucking wait.
    Bad: Computing. I had to stay behind AGAIN to get even more fucking work done, and Fridays are meant to be the time where I only go in for one lesson too. Fuck Computing, and fuck my teacher for being a useless cunthole who doesn’t give a shit.
    Ugly: Hellsing Abridged. Damn that shit is hilarious tho.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgnIjJexut4

    • Maik Beninton

      It’s one of my favorite animes.
      Edit: I didn’t see the video.

  • LobsterAttack

    The Good: it’s almost the end of my last semester, I’m kicking the shit out of 4 of my 5 classes, and I’m neck deep in yet another Blut Aus Nord binge.

    The Bad: trying to keep my chronic anxiety in check while waiting to see if I got an interview with a rather kickass firm down in Boston. Not a pleasant experience.

    The Ugly: my (probably irrational) hatred for the song “Come On Eileen,” and how whenever I think about how much I fucking hate that song it gets stuck in my head.

    • Formerly Known As Oli Sykes

      It is irrational, that song is awesome.
      I am biased however, as I do have a large boner for New Wave.

      • LobsterAttack

        It’s mostly the vocals that I can’t stand (though, given the composition and the mix, that’s more or less the whole song). They make me think of a drunk hipster doing karaoke.

        • KJM

          I hate that song.

          • more beer

            Most people do. Myself included.

    • Edward/Breegrodamus

      Dude wrote Ultima Thulée when he was like 18 years old.

      • LobsterAttack

        Vindsval is a mensch, no doubt about it.

    • Sir Tapir the Based

      Blut Aus Nord is love, Blut Aus Nord is life.

      • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair

        I love ’em!

  • Akerskronks ov Steele
  • Stanley

    Good: Happy Hour at Toronado in a couple of hours. http://www.toronado.com/draft.htm

    Bad: German pilots with depression.

    Ugly: My bowels next time I have to get on a plane.

  • Good: Nothing.
    Bad: It snowed again.
    Ugly: Might be failing my accounting class due to my own negligence.

  • Stockhausen

    THE BAD: Never enough rehearsal time with my students. Also, my flabby butt is out of shape and the soccer team I just joined is playing a way better team this weekend. THERE IS SO MUCH RUNNING IN SOCCER.
    THE GOOD: It’s the weekend, I’m going to a soccer game tomorrow (my city’s pro team), and even though I’m out of shape I’m going to enjoy the game I’m playing in on Sunday.
    THE UGLY: My flabby butt.

  • DARKBEARD

    I’m going to echo the sentiments of Most Beautiful Ann:

    Da Git Gud: Bloodborne. I’m so enamored with this game. I worry about its longevity, and the lack of fashionsoulsing; other than that, this game is the breath of fresh air From needed.

    The Bad: Called in to work, yet again, tomorrow. The people I work with are such fucking babies.

    The Ugly: Tapir

  • KJM

    Good: above ground, continuing to suck in air.
    Bad: MORE FUCKING SNOW tomorrow. Haven’t we had enough?
    Ugly: the 4 days of total sobriety I’m about to endure.

    • more beer

      Why the 4 days sobriety? Are you sure you`re okay?

      • KJM

        Just temporary money issues, nothing serious at all.

        • more beer

          I`m in kind of the same boat not quite that bad but not great.

    • DARKBEARD

      Why are you not blasting off, bro?

      • KJM

        Temporary money troubles, no biggie.

        • DARKBEARD

          sry brother

          • KJM

            It’s all good. I’ll make up for it.

  • Lacertilian

    Good: Saw Psycroptic, Goatwhore, Disentomb & Ouroboros last night.
    Bad: My neck.
    Ugly: Tomorrow when I have to play cricket with no neck movement and then drink copious amounts of swill while watching the World Cup Final..and tapirs.

    • Scrimm

      Looking forward to seeing Disentomb in June.

      • Lacertilian

        I missed the start of their set, a scoob had to be blazed.
        Ouroboros played a short set to open but a couple of new tracks were nice, a bit slower than I expected. (@webb71:disqus should note)

        • Scrimm

          At least you had a good excuse.

          • Lacertilian

            Had it of been mine to set alight, it would have waited till a break either side of Goatwhore.

    • Psycroptic is gud.

      • Lacertilian

        Did you pick up the latest album?

        • i’ve streamed it a few times, and i have to agree with the general consensus: it strikes the perfect balance between tech and catchiness.

          • Lacertilian

            You should buy it, comes with a DVD and such.

            also, you wanna make out down by the english building?

  • Maik Beninton

    Bad: I heard what happened to reposted a7x fan

  • Also, this post amazing. I am amazed.

    • Maik Beninton

      Me too.
      Lmfao

  • EsusMoose

    Good:spring break
    bad:parents house doesn’t have useable internet but I don’t stay long anyways
    ugly: I get to spend my break catching up in classes and drinking.

  • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair

    Good: Finally got the new room sorta organized, and been hanging out more. And I got an interview up the street on Monday. Fingers crossed!
    Bad: Not much of anything, really, at least on my end. It’s been pretty chill unlike last week. It got fucking cold out of nowhere though, after a week of perfectly warm days.
    The Ugly: Can’t think of anything, but here’s some super not ugly (Sara Sampaio)!

    http://pixhst.com/avaxhome/38/67/00256738_medium.jpeg

  • J.R.

    Good: Internship interview is a good thing. I also spent friday-saturday at the University of Alabama, touring around with my sister, and meeting Lady J.R., who was down visiting some gal pals. So that was pleasant. Went and saw “It Follows”, which was pretty good. Soundtrack was on point, I thought.
    Bad: School resumes Monday. *Flush*
    Ugly: I don’t think I stayed up past 2 or slept in past noon this entire spring break. Just the worst thing ever.