Flush it Friday: Shut Your Fucking Mouth Edition

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This week marks my first Flush it Friday. Well, proper one anyway; my other edition was a positive post. Today, I have to bring an important issue to your attention. This problem affects 100’s of millions of people every single day, sometimes multiple times per day, and has been happening since the dawn of humanity. Yet, for some reason it continues into the modern age. Even the mighty influential forces of science and religion combined haven’t seemed to quell its proliferation, and it doesn’t take the GDP of a small nation to fix. All you have to do is listen.

This problem has plagued my mind and wreaked havoc on my nerves ever since I was young. A few years ago I launched a social media campaign to raise awareness in a last ditch attempt to abate this epidemic. This proved futile as my reach was limited. The only way we can stop this menace is through our combined vigilance. We must band together and fight. This year will mark the 3rd year since I started the International “Eat With Your Fucking Mouth Closed” Day.

Scoff you may, but this is more important than roughly 33% of the “International blah” Days that seem to occupy the entire rest of the calendar. These lesser days receive news segments and street parades. All I seek is silence. This is not too much to ask. People who eat with their mouths open should be exiled to Macquarie Island. Like with music, I’ve divided these repellent degenerates into a few categories for ease of identification:

  • Last Bite Lip-Smackers – You know the ones. They think they’ve done the right thing by chewing with their mouth shut until it comes time to take the next bite of food and they open prematurely. If you’re not going to finish the job properly, don’t fucking bother.
  • Finger-licking Fuckwits – Guess what? You can clean your fingers without making that insidious slurping sound as you reach the end of your decrepit phalanges and your lips touch, just as they remove the countless in vivo bacterial colonies you’ve been cultivating under your finger nails. And I don’t mean you need to do it with a paper towel. In case you hadn’t already realised, your lips can move. Wrap them around the finger and you don’t even need to slurp, you pathetic scumbag. If this is too much for you, and you simply must engage in this heinous act, DO IT ONCE! You don’t need to do it every time you stuff the food in your mouth sans cutlery. YOU’RE ABOUT TO TOUCH THE SAME FOOD AGAIN, RIGHT NOW! WHY ARE YOU CLEANING YOUR FINGERS? Is it so the food doesn’t think you’re dirty before you pick it up? Food doesn’t think, but we do, and we think you’re an inconsiderate fuckstain.
  • The Chompers – These pricks just straight-up don’t care. They know what they’re doing and are essentially culinary terrorists. Treat with extreme prejudice.

I first noticed my distaste for this phenomena when my brother, 9 years my junior, started doing it at the dinner table. He was annoying anyway but this put me over the edge. I complained. Then, because humans suck, he decided to use it as a means to upset me whenever he saw fit. Needless to say, he’s dead now I moved out of home as soon as possible. Now I understand not everyone is perfect and we all have our flaws, but this one is pretty easy to remedy. I have had sinusitis for most of my life and can barely breathe through my nose at the best of times, so I’ve had to work my way around managing to balance my intake of air to food. Some of you might have other problems, but for most of humanity, it’s pretty simple to avoid. Here are the top 5 ways to tell if you are part of the problem –

  1. There’s this annoying noise that only seems to happen when you eat.

  2. People stare at you menacingly during meal times.

  3. There is food exiting your mouth while you chew.

  4. You’ve become the subject of what you perceive to be unwarranted hatred.

  5. Your fucking mouth is open while you eat.

A recent study from the University of Notthinghamshire concluded that 97% of people who eat with their mouth open are useless at life. Pretty damning scientific evidence right there. Christianity is also against it according to the Ten Commandments. Thou Shalt Not Steal. By eating with your mouth open you’re essentially stealing our collective will to live. Moses may as well have brought down a flashing neon sign saying “Thou Shalt Shut Thy Damn Mouth.” 

Moses

As you can see from my diatribe, I could go on for days, which in reality, I already have. All I ask is that next time you hear/see one of these primitive pieces of shit violating common decency, ACT! Conversely, if you think you might be one of these subhuman miscreants violating the Geneva convention of eating, you should consider the effect you’re having on your loved ones. Or just do us all a favour and hop on the next Japanese Whaling Vessel heading to Macquarie Island.

It’s Flush it Friday. Do your thing.

Also, remember to join us next week for the ‘”top smashing your cutlery on the plate, you klutz” Edition.


(Image via, via)

  • Lacertilian

    Good: Shutting your mouth.
    Bad: Not shutting your mouth.
    Ugly: The sound of not shutting your mouth.

    • BACKED

    • Vault Dweller
      • Guppusmaximus

        The popular Seefood Diet. 🙂

      • Lacertilian

        He will learn.
        Quickly.

    • I had an old boss who would constantly chew gum with his mouth open. I wanted to murder him.

      • Bosses with annoying habits are the fucking worst. My old boss used to play the same 8-10 Top 40 songs over and over all day, every day, in a tiny office next to me. Even with one earbud in blasting things like Cattle Decap it was still soul crushing. I blame her for every single Salesforce error I may have made at that job.

    • EsusMoose

      Had an old roommate who chewed with his mouth open. I asked him to stop and he proceeded to leave the room and not talk to me for the next 2 days. Guess it worked.

      • Passive aggressive at all? (Him, that is).

        • EsusMoose

          Yeah I just found it great cause I didn’t like him

    • hieronymus bossk

      Or if you prefer it worded different, shutting your cakehole/piehole/Trumphole.

  • Waynecro

    That was awesome, Lacertilian. I know a guy who’s a terribly sloppy eater. One time, he got honey all over himself while trying to eat a biscuit at a fried-chicken restaurant. He made such a mess that he had to clean himself up in the bathroom. Ever since then, I’ve referred to him as Sun Bear.

    • I went to a movie with a friend and walked out leaving his ass there because he wouldn’t stop smacking and close his goddamn mouth while he was eating popcorn.

      • Fury Road was pretty good

      • Waynecro

        One more reason not to go to movies and have friends.

      • Stanley

        For real, yo. Popcorn should be banned from theaters. Actually, popcorn should be banned from everywhere. It fuckin stinks.

        • Edward/Breegrodamus™

          wat

          • Stanley

            There’s always one tool in the office that burns their popcorn in the microwave and it reeks for hours. Ban it!

          • Fucking hell. The worst thing ever was dumbass drunk freshmen burning popcorn in their dorm rooms and setting off the fire alarms in the whole fucking building, forcing the entire fucking thing to be evacuated at 4 AM in the middle of fucking winter.

          • Dubs

            I know this feel too well. We had a stupid early morning fire alarm every week spring semester it seemed.

          • RustyShackleford

            Gah you’re like giving me ‘nam flashbacks right now lol

          • more beer

            I had a roommate, who set our microwave on fire, by putting a Chinese food container with the little metal bar on it. Then he stood there looking it at screaming fire. I had to get up(it was about 7:00 in the morning on new years day) unplug the microwave and throw water on it. I’m surprised I even was able to get up. Since I came in and passed out about an hour earlier..

          • Popcorn and tuna casserole (Fish in general).

          • Rob M

            Okay, Im with you there…burnt popcorn is fucking nasty

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            My roomie’s kid forgot to take her fork out of the bowl when she turned on the microwave. Holy fuck, that smell lingered for at least a week.

          • nbm02ss

            If only they put a “Popcorn” button on microwaves, or something.

            Air fresheners/sprays should be banned too. They’re not making the burnt popcorn smell go away, they’re just adding worse smells on top of it.

        • Lacertilian

          I think common sense should prevail and it should only be eaen during the loud action scenes where you aren’t disrupting anyone’s enjoyment.
          The crux of the problem is that loud dickheads only seem o eat it during the “boring talky parts”, essentially spoiling any scenes with important plot developing dialogue.
          Plastic wrappers are much worse in my experience.

          • Stanley

            This is why I typically go to matinees. There’s only usually 10 popcorn munchers in the place.

          • “popcorn munchers”… i love the way you talk! now if i just knew what that meant

          • Stanley

            It’s not that cryptic Jimmie.

        • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

          You know how I know that you’ve never had gourmet popcorn (especially Chicago style popcorn)?

          • Stanley

            Dude, I mean girl, popcorn tastes like cardboard. I’ve had gormet flavored popcorn and it tastes like gormet flavored cardboard. Though, I did keep going back for more.

      • nbm02ss

        I have a friend who slurps nearly everything he eats. It’s the most disgusting fucking thing ever.

        • Sever him from your life!

          • nbm02ss

            Me: I’m kinda getting hungry.
            Him: You want to go get some food?
            Me: ….no.

        • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

          Oddly enough, slurping your food is considered a compliment in Japan.

    • Guppusmaximus

      Odin smiles upon this Sun Bear you speak of!

  • Guppusmaximus

    How do Metal nerds who bask in a faux nostalgia for the days of the vikings complain about eating with your mouth open?! -locker door slams shut- *smirk*

    • Spear

      An avalanche of mulched foodstuffs pouring out your mouth and onto your fat, sweaty chest is not warrior-like.

      • Guppusmaximus

        It is if its followed by guzzling a stein of Mead?!

        • A true warrior keeps his bare chest clean. No poser wants to be slaughtered by a slob with crumbs of food stuck in his chest hair/oil

          • Guppusmaximus

            Well, I’ve been out of practice seeing how it holds no honor to slaughter such pacified pussies who listen to a genre of Metal that wasn’t around during my time…lol

    • Lacertilian

      If I can’t hear some osdm over your eating, there will be confrontation

  • Edward/Breegrodamus™

    GOOD: Palace of Worms and Youth Code both dropped awesome albums today. Dark Souls III drops next week.

    BAD: working full time weekends is wearing me down. Rough schedule even with the time off.

    UGLY: my FT weekend coworker had a misogynistic temper tantrum last weekend, not looking forward to working with dude this weekend. Totally unprofessional.

    • PREPARE TO DIE

      • Edward/Breegrodamus™

        I am literally so stoked for this game to come out I can’t even stand it.

  • Friday Bro! Fucking rage and shit! *Slams Natty Ice and falls off roof*

    http://p.fod4.com/p/media/078fcc88a7/421IIaw9SY6Azu9aHI0H_Rooftop%20Bat%20Swing.gif

    • YourLogicIsFlushed

      Louisville Chugger is a heartless bitch of a game.

    • Rob M

      ..natural selection strikes again

    • CyberneticOrganism

      lololol

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      Never thought I’d say this, but thanks Natty Ice, for putting some chlorine in the gene pool!

    • tigeraid

      Is it wrong that I’ve never experienced Natty Ice?

  • Dubs

    Good: Vanilla Coke, no tutoring tomorrow cuz my kids are all taking the ACT.
    Bad: Waiting for packages I guess. I’ve got nothing to complain about.
    Ugly: The sweat stains that will develop on the white t-shirt I need to wear tomorrow when I volunteer at the National Ranching Heritage Center to pump a railroad handcart out in the Texas sun. I tried to convince them not to get white shirts.

    • RustyShackleford

      EDIT: Vanilla Coke is not good.

    • Waynecro

      Vanilla Coke Zero is great, as is Cherry Coke Zero.

    • more beer

      You will be glad you are wearing that white shirt if you are working in the sun. With my job being outside. I wear a lot of white tee shirts in the summer

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      I had a Vanilla Coke the other day. It was good.

      • Stanley

        Is there any “food” you don’t like?

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          Well I hate healthy food…

      • Dubs

        Siqq dude. Thanks for telling me about this.

  • Good: Academically shredding this semester; finally getting the rain this state needs so badly. Man was not meant to build cities in the desert.
    http://www.clickhole.com/article/6-drought-pictures-prove-man-was-never-meant-build-2418
    Bad: I’ve worked every day for the last two weeks and it still isn’t over. We’re doing Coppelia, which is about a girl who sees her boyfriend blow a kiss at a doll because he thinks it’s her, then pretends to be the doll to make him jealous (or something). Anyway, an old man drugs the dude so he can be sacrificed in exchange for bringing the doll to life. He escapes and pays off the old man to placate him. Somehow this is one of the less moronic ballet plots. (I mean, you guys have seen The Nutcracker, right?)
    Ugly:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOpT9r6zZJQ

    • EsusMoose

      That sounds stupid.

    • Dubs

      Kind of reminds me of Pygmalion.

    • Waynecro

      I’ve had to sit through Coppelia and The Nutcracker several times. Not cool. Also, rain in California >>>>>>>>>>>

      • Yeah, we do Nutcracker every year which takes a week of rehearsals and two weeks of shows. On Saturday we have two shows and I have to be there from 12-10. Bummer! Where do you live?

        • Waynecro

          Brutal! When I was a kid, a friend of mine was with the California Ballet Company in San Diego, so I had to go to lots of performances. I live in Oceanside.

          • I was gonna suggest a Meetup ov Hell but Oceanside is basically Norcal since I spend all my time downtown. SOCAL OR NO CAL

          • Waynecro

            I end up in San Diego all the time. My parents live there, and I go to most of the metal shows at Brick by Brick. In fact, I saw Eukaryst and Nekrogoblikon at Brick by Brick last Sunday.

          • Eukaryst are the siqqest. My friend and I couldn’t stop from gawking at their drummer’s fresh licks at the Metal Swap Meet last year.

          • Waynecro

            Eukaryst’s current drummer–who is relatively new–is a beast. The band played a new song Sunday, and it was so killer (despite the band’s having only one guitarist at the moment).

      • COAL ROLL

        I used to be the promoter for a international touring dance troupe that did Nutcracker every year in 80 cities. So glad I’m not doing that anymore

    • MOLENAAAAAR!!! <3

    • Edward/Breegrodamus™

      Why is Gorguts in the ugly category?

      • I never know what to put there so I just link ugly jams. Have another!
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0hInqm1dw0

        • CIC is under rated. I enjoy them mightily.

          • I’m a huge fan. I think the recording quality and noise parts turn off a lot of people who would otherwise likely dig them.

          • I pretty much skip all the noise stuff, but the recordings don’t bother me much. It feels like the energy they play with mitigates the sound quality for me.

        • Eliza

          What an interesting song title.

    • Maik Beninton™

      Ugly: me hearing that snare. I don’t like it when it’s like is hammering my eardrums.

      • Dubs

        Have you ever listened to this? You might like it.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcHvzNBtlOw

        • Maik Beninton™

          Yes I have. To be honest I think this one is worse.
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71tyUqMZOSc

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Such a repugnant song.

          • d’oh!

          • solid album

          • Maik Beninton™

            I have grown to not like it so much because of its loud as balls production.

          • RustyShackleford

            But also Corey doesn’t say any curse words! What is the fun of Slipknot if I’m not hearing motherfucker every 30 seconds? (half joking)

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            I always thought Slipknot was great when they played the noisy, chaotic, wacky, dark music in the beginning of their career. Technically and lyrically speaking nothing to write home about, but very energetic.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vq-zaD1poAE

          • hieronymus bossk

            I’ve never liked the first record that much, but “Iowa” by Slipknot is a fine, heavy album. Sure “I Am Hated” is lolbuttz as fuck, and so are a bunch of lyrics here and there, but it’s like an angsty grind album at its heart, and some of the songs have very interesting structures (“Disasterpiece”, “Skin Ticket”, “Iowa”). Too bad they became heavier Stone Sour right after that. Then again, I don’t think they could catch that lightning twice, nor would they want to.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Yeah I actually think Iowa really is a good album. It has a few songs I dislike (“I Am Hated” being one of them and I can’t listen to “Left Behind” without cringing), but the album as a whole is just solid, heavy (at times actually extremely heavy) metal. It’s part of my collection and I’m not ashamed because of it in the least.

            The first record has actually grown on me a lot. Some of the elements sound a bit dated (the turntables, the occasional rap verse…), but the album as a whole is an energetic, wacked-out, at times even creative record. I still think the song “Scissors” is a genuinely disturbing closer.

            And yeah, they turned into a somewhat heavier Stone Sour after Iowa. Nothing I could ever enjoy.

          • I like your take on it. When I first got into metal in junior high (unfortunately nu metal, in those days), “Iowa” was the heaviest goddamn thing I had ever heard. It’s aged, sure, but aged fairly well.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            I feel every subgenre has stuff worth checking out. It’s not because I got into a lot of DM, BM, sludge…and the likes, that it means I HAVE to dismiss a nu metal or metalcore album I like just because it belongs to a “loathed” genre. Granted there’s isn’t nearly as much nu metal or metalcore I enjoy as there is for instance death metal, but when it’s good, it’s good. And there IS nu metal and metalcore out there that’s actually good. “Iowa” being an example.

            But I’m reasonably open-minded when it comes to stuff like this. Not because I want to be “edgy” or anything like that, just because I genuinely enjoy the variety that can be found within the metal genre. Of course not everything clicks with me: I can’t get into the really cheesy or symphonic power and gothic metal such as Rhapsody or Nightwish, super noodly tech-death (which I don’t necessarily dislike either, I just don’t get a real visceral reaction out of it), modern deathcore and ‘scenecore’ seems to do nothing for me either. I’ve mostly slept on 80’s glam metal, but from what I’ve heard of it, it’s not really my cup of tea…though I have to admit I like some of WASP’s stuff (“Crimson Idol” for instance is a great album).

          • That’s a nice balance between keeping an open mind and remembering that one can still have likes and dislikes- in fact, should have them.

          • you guys are breakin’ my balls

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Because the early stuff is solid and the second “Stone Sour 2.0” era is quite meh?

          • Volume 3 is so underrated! i’ll be in my room.
            *slams door, cries into pillow*

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls
          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            I actually think the first two kick ass. Never really liked Vol III or any of their other albums.

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm
        • EsusMoose

          I finally heard that entire album a month ago and part of one of frantic’s verses got stuck in my head. It was how you say determining my deathstyle

  • EsusMoose

    Good: going to see a baseball game. Dark souls 3 comes out monday night and I’ve already planned out my week.
    Bad: next week I most likely will have to figure out my post-graduation place to live, and I hate looking through places.
    Ugly: Weather has been snowing, raining, sunny in the 50’s back to snowy and all around. Fuck this shit.

  • RustyShackleford

    GOOD: Brewing another batch of beer this weekend. Trying a double IPA for the first time so hope all goes well!

    BAD: Idk, pretty good week. Finally not too much work

    UGLY: Fucking snowing up here!

    • Stanley

      Double IPAs >>>>

    • The thought crossed my mind of making my own beer. I fear I would screw it up.

      • RustyShackleford

        Go for it man! Honestly, just snag a Brewer’s Best kit and make an American Pale Ale or something real simple. Then you just gotta follow the instructions really. We did that a few times and are now starting to do a little experimenting, just in small five gallon batches. Great to have a partner cause A: someone to drink with and talk beer with while brewing and B: the stuff ain’t super cheap (especially for something where you might have to wait a month to figure out if you didn’t fuck it up) so good to split the cost.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          What about the Mr. Beer kit?

        • Cool, good to know.

        • Stanley

          Washing bottles <<<<<

      • Lacertilian

        First batch maybe but you work it out pretty quick if you’re thirsty.

        • RustyShackleford

          Super true. Our first batch pretty much bombed. Second batch was bitter and weak (messed up the malt) and third was a solid BEER!

        • there’s a plethora of things a person can produce in-home!

          • Stanley

            Fungus being one. Am I right?

    • Home brewing is the best!

      • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

        Lol, upvote for the new name!

  • I’ve been actively trying and failing to buy a shitty old house the last month+. Everything is bad and ugly and nothing is good.

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

    Good: this week I’ve actually been getting into Leviathan’s “Scar Sighted”. Better late then never, I guess.

    Bad: my lower back is fucking killing me.

    Ugly: me wanting to stab a few douchebags over at some other blog to death.

    • My back hurts too.

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        Back pain really sucks. And in my case it runs in the family, so the outlook is quite bleak.

        • This is why Satan made beer.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            And the Almighty Green.

            (even though I’ve been completely sober for a long time now, which kinda sucks)

          • Lacertilian

            Weed and whisky has helped me with my slipped disc but it kinda just helps sleeping and doesn’t reall y quell the pain.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Friend of mine his huge back problems and has started smoking daily now. According to him he does get some kind of relief out of it.

          • more beer

            Marijuana high in CBD’s and not high in THC is what you want for that. Since CBD’s don’t get you high you would continue to be completely sober.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Which means I’ll have to take a trip to the Netherlands again. That shitty PCP-laced grass they’re selling over here on the streets isn’t going to do much good.

          • more beer

            No probably not. If you want to be just stuck in the mud or in hole the PCP-laced weed would be the choice.. But it won’t help with pain.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            A few years ago a guy I knew was producing and selling that PCP-laced stuff himself. We were once smoking a blunt of that shit on the street. I had a huge “bad trip” (well, you can’t really “bad trip” on weed, but you catch my drift) that day. Not even thinking about the porn I watched that day could seem to get me out of that “I feel like utter shit” spiral. It was pretty awful.

          • more beer

            If you smoke that by mistake and you are having a bad time.. Drinking milk will straighten you out. It works like narcan for PCP.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Thanks for the tip. Fucking hell that experience sucked.

          • more beer

            It’s a street remedy but it works. I had a friend who was freaking out on PCP. Doing some pretty crazy violent shit. We had hold him down and force the milk down his throat. But once we did he calmed right down and was fine.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            I never messed around with PCP in itself. I’ve done shrooms and smoked salvia. Never tried LSD, but I know more than a few people who did (and some still do). One hallucinogen that I always found interesting is DMT, but it’s hard to come by.

          • more beer

            DMT is extremely had to come by is correct. Which is weird in itself, as it is basically in every living thing. I have done quite a quite a wide variety of hallucinogens. Definitely all of the common ones. But also some of the real crazy designer ones 2CI and 25CB. There are a few more also. You don’t get that feeling of enlightenment like you do from LSD or mushrooms. But for just straight up fun and audio and visual hallucinations, these are the way to go. If you haven’t seen this you should check it out.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtT6Xkk-kzk

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Will watch it tomorrow. Thanks for sharing!

          • more beer

            It’s a pretty cool documentary.

        • Stanley

          Do you even abs, bro?

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            3 times a week, though others have told me I should concentrate even more on core strenghtening instead of lifting heavy weights like a protein-devouring meathead.

          • Waynecro

            Fortunately, several of the big meathead lifts (squat, deadlift, and bench, for example) do a great job of strengthening the core.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            True, though for instance deadlifts can go horribly wrong as well.

          • Waynecro

            For sure. That’s why paying attention to proper form and not rushing to lift too much weight too soon are imperative. I think a great deal of the core strength I have now came from doing squats. After all, if you don’t brace your core, squatting heavy can snap you in half.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            #WordsOfWisdom

          • more beer

            Isn’t that what beer is for?

          • Stanley

            Nah, that’s abv.

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm

      It took me a year to get into Scar Sighted. I suppose it’s better than being enamoured with an album until you hear the last song and it all falls apart.

  • Good: Get to eat a big dinner tonight.
    Bad: 8 mile run tomorrow.
    Ugly: 8 mile run tomorrow.

    • Guppusmaximus

      Raviolis, Lasagna, Pizza, Cannelloni, Mannecotti, Linguine, Gnocchi … Did I mention Pasta?

      • more beer

        I had Gnocchi 2 weeks ago. That is a pretty solid list.

        • Guppusmaximus

          Yes, Gnocchi is sorely underrated especially the spinach kind with some slow-cooked tomato sauce made from scratch or the Chateau labeled sauce from Pastene (not the Marinara). Oh and don’t forget a drizzle of Tobasco on top.

          • more beer

            The sauce is always made fro scratch where I live. As my housemate is from Italy and finds all store bought sauces unacceptable.

    • Stanley

      You’ve got 3 goods in a row, dude. What’s wrong with you!

      • Ha Ha, bring the pain.

  • Seriously, why would you lick your fingers multiple times in one meal? the best part of messy food is saving up all that sauce and spice and whatever else on your fingers so you can suck down that finger and savor all the glory of that last bit of flavor one last time.

    Good: Easy week at work, I’m in 4 bands now.

    Bad: Some girl won’t leave my house and I’m at at the absolute limit of what I can achieve in my free time. Normally that last bit would be good, but I’m starting to half-ass things.

    Ugly: She’s never even played a Zelda game.

  • JWEG

    Bad:
    – Can’t avoid postponing my Thesis Oral Examination until next term, as mentioned last week
    – Still need my Supervisor to sign off on the form allowing my extension
    – Both members of the Committee acknowledged it on Wednesday, only for me to spend the following day revising it on recommended changes (mostly requesting an 8-month extension instead of 4)
    – Haven’t heard back from either one if the changes are acceptable
    – If they don’t do so very soon, I risk missing the April 30 termination date for program re-registration and have to reapply to the whole fricking University system

    The stress has added onto a regular seasonal problem I have that, for no apparent reason every Spring my white blood cell count goes haywire and I wind up dizzy, nauseated, and lethargic no matter what (or how much) I do to stay healthy.

    Good:
    https://artascatharsis.bandcamp.com/album/kurushimi

    Ugly:
    Parts of that album, in a good way.

    • Dubs

      :/

  • Bad: Rotating beer for freshness.
    Good: Putting beer in your mouth.
    Ugly: Puking beer back out of your mouth.

    • …there’s got to be a better way!

    • more beer

      While the first and last things are bad. But it is beer and the good outweighs the bad by a whole lot.

  • I like to not be disturbed while i’m eating because that’s all I’m there to. Then I can move on with the rest of my life.

    Good: Job interview next week that could potentially result in mad paper.
    Bad: Pain in my teeth and gums. A dentist may be needed to drill a tooth or two if it doesn’t go away.
    Good out of Bad: get to use paid sick time at my hopefully soon-to-be former job.

  • nbm02ss

    Good: Off work in an hour and it’s Friday.

    I don’t really have any complaints this week.

  • Old Man Doom

    Good: Chillin’ with friends tonight after a long week. Going to restring my les paul and finally send my flying v in for a neck repair. Also: hang out with your wang out.
    Bad: Proctoring a test tomorrow morning at zero dark thirty.
    Ugly: My fucking diet. I’m a filthy savage.

    Bang your head against the concrete and feel good about it:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REf0EpZwvjM

  • more beer

    Most people shouldn’t even use their mouths to talk when they don’t have food it. Because for the most part only stupid things come out of them.

  • Dave Vincent’s Perm

    Good: Nespithe
    Bad: Waiting for Nespithe to arrive
    Ugly: clicking the wrong thing and being sent to a video of a fat man crying and drinking in his underwear

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm
      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        This is probably my favorite MDB song.

      • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

        One of the very first death metal CDs I ever heard, and the first one I actually went out and bought.

        • Dave Vincent’s Perm

          The first death metal album I ever heard was Individual Thought Patterns.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Oddly enough, I didn’t like that one when I first bought it way way back when. Years later, though, it grew on me quick as hell.

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm

      It’s like seeing hidden footage of me the morning after prom night

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Lol

  • Waynecro

    Good: Listening to Arktis while it’s raining.
    Bad: My shoulder seems to be getting worse. The pain now extends from my shoulder down my forearm and into my hand. I may have to lay off bench and military pressing for a little while, which pisses me off.
    Ugly: My dog’s mood. He hates going to the bathroom outside in the rain.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      How is Arktis?

      • Waynecro

        I like it a whole bunch.

      • Dubs

        I think I have the same problem I do with the rest of his albums, namely that it’s a little too all over the place, though I think the songs here are stronger than usual, and it isn’t quite as scatterbrained as past efforts.

        • Waynecro

          It jams pretty hard here and there.

        • Stanley

          But, you are Dr. Allovertheplace are you not?

          • Dubs

            Maybe not to the extent you think, you wag.

        • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

          rue the day, dubs!

  • COAL ROLL

    G: weekend
    B: sore neck
    U: my son only eats with his mouth open

    • Spear

      Have you considered not feeding him?

      • COAL ROLL

        he only eats when I let him out of his cage, and this time he got away, has anyone seen him? he’s about 7 years old

        • more beer

          You better find him before some do gooder does and turns you into the authorities do.

          • COAL ROLL

            I’ll send Ziltoid out to find him

          • if this EVEN means what i think it does…

          • COAL ROLL

            have you seen my son?

          • more beer

            Maybe you left him at that other blog.

          • i meant the Ziltoid comment. and i’m talking YEARS ago.

          • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

            it always comes back to DT

          • more beer

            Good plan. Especially if he has had the dare program in school. Since they teach the kids to rat their parents out.

        • Guppusmaximus

          Well, at least you won’t have to worry about seeing that wild animal eating your son with his mouth open. *i kid, i kid*

  • JWEG

    Relevant, concerning:

    There’s this annoying noise that only seems to happen when you eat.

    If this reminds you at all of Taxi (the TV series), and specifically that one episode where everyone gets temporarily laid off leading to something like that said by Louie’s new boss, you and I are definitely BFFLs.

    Mr Grey: You make noises when you eat.
    Louie: Everyone makes noises when they eat!
    Mr Grey: Everyone makes eating noises when they eat. Yours are not eating noises. Yours are not human noises!

  • CyberneticOrganism

    GOOD: Ordered a new pedal for the Pedalboard God. On book 4 of Dune.

    BAD: Sick. Feel like total shit, Ferris.

    UGLY: This fucking stupid Chicago weather. Snow for an hour. Sun for 20 minutes. Snow’s gone, now a half hour of rain. Sun’s back out, now more snow is coming. WINTER WILL NEVER END, FUCK.

    http://41.media.tumblr.com/ba6d13cbebfeab379a31c15efb0ce865/tumblr_ngnrzkLTZM1u0zsu0o1_1280.jpg

    • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

      What pedal?

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Darkglass Vintage Microtubes

        • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

          Solid.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            I’ll have a three-way (heh) solution for drive/distortion now

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            Hehehehe

      • CLUTCH PEDAL!!!

        • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

          WANT!

    • more beer

      It’s like that here too. All four seasons in a couple of hours.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Where are you again? We’ve had this every day for a week now.

        • more beer

          Denver. The weather changes quickly here to say the least.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            I believe it. Right now it’s gray AF & snowing and we’re about 5 minutes away from blazing sunshine again. STOP TOYING WITH MY EMOTIONS, NATURE

          • more beer

            A couple of weeks ago. On Tuesday it was 70 degrees then we got a foot and a half on Wednesday. Now that spring is here it will be a warm lovely day. But that will change in an instant and it will be hailing with tornadoes rolling thru.

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm

      I was at a gig once and the guitarist’s pedalboard was literally just a pallet board that he’d duct-taped a load of boss pedals to. I was pretty impressed.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        That’s badass. I made mine with black spraypaint and an old bookshelf I found in a garage. #DIY4lyfe

        • Dave Vincent’s Perm
          • CyberneticOrganism

            NOOOOOO

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            Phahahahah, I only use it for sloppily playing Judas Iscariot songs by ear.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            It’s a good “fuck it, this is all I’ve got so let’s rip” pedal

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            Even if one day I have a house full of Jackson and BC rich customs and VHT stacks, I’ll still pick up my MT-2 when it’s time for some fucking necro.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            I’m planning on getting a gear column going next week. I’ve been busy as all fuck so a lot of things have taken a backseat lately.

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            Awesome. Will it be just you writing it?

          • CyberneticOrganism

            You wanna help?

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            Potentially, but I wouldn’t recommend you rely on me for anything.

        • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

          AMERICA!!!!!!

          • CyberneticOrganism

            HELLYEAH BUDDY GETCHA PULL

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls
          • CyberneticOrganism

            SUCK THAT SHIT IN PUSSAY FUCK YEAH GAWDDAMN KEM’AWN

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Fuck yeah, that carbon monoxide will put some hair on his chest!

    • EsusMoose

      Book 4 of dune is shit. I’ve gotten through a patchwork of it that’d amount to about a half to 2/3rds. 5 and 6 are much better but pale in comparison to the first 3.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        The first two are my favorite so far – unassailably well-written and engrossing as hell.

        • Just wait until you get to the Van Gogh/Jew planet. That’s definitely a high point in the series.

          • EsusMoose

            The only think I remember from the book 4 onward is giant worm with a man’s face and sex warriors. Are you talking about the Bene teilax people?

          • Those later books are a complete mess and the exact chronology escapes me, but at some point Erasmus forges a Van Gogh, which in addition to a Jewish community is all that survives of Earth’s culture, or something.

          • EsusMoose

            Oh you’re talking about the prequel novels, I can’t remember too many things about it other than nukes

        • EsusMoose

          I enjoyed most of the books I read including the prequel like ones written by his son, the continuation of the series written by the son is so-so.

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      Lol, one of several things I definitely don’t miss about Chicago.

  • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

    Good: Beer, Metal, Friends, Toilet, Kyuss, Accept and Immortal

    Bad but not really bad: Washington Think Tanks, they make me ponder their questions for weeks on end. I dwell for hours in my thoughts.

    • Dubs

      Ha!

      • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

        You bastard you…

        • Dubs

          I <3 u

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            Ditto!

    • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

      did you grab those Immortal vinyl a month or two ago?

      • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

        I got At the heart of Winter silver vinyl when it was announced on HHR and just ordered Pure Holocaust today.

        • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

          well done

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            Thank you sir. I like the silver, hopefully they release the rest of their stuff like it

          • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

            i got 4 comin in today. super duper excitebike

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            Solid. What’s on the menu?

          • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

            some Emperor i was missing, Nightbringers Hierophony, and Oranssi Pazuzus Valonielu

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            Cool man.

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      No Dani Filth = No Immortal. #truthhurts

      • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

        Damn you, that was funny.

  • sweetooth0

    GOOD: I found out Mystifier (!!) is playing the Friday night at Lorn Nelson’s in Calgary before the Calgary Horror Con which I was goin’ to anyway. Now I have an ass kicking show Friday night instead of just bumming around the hotel and getting drunk at the hotel bar! Finally finished my buddy’s book cover so I can move on to projects more in my comfort zone (horror, gore, metal). Gonna hand paint a sick Overkill logo + Snake monster thing on my girlfriends vest.

    BAD: My sister owes me money and I’ve had to pester her every day this week and still nothing. Will not be doing that again.

    UGLY: My dog decided that while we were gone to work it would be a super idea to piss and shit on the spare bed.

    • COAL ROLL

      family + borrowed money repayment = futility

      • sweetooth0

        yeah, normally I’d just let it go, but 200 bucks is too much for that sort of thing.

        • COAL ROLL

          ouch!

    • CyberneticOrganism
      • sweetooth0

        The con is in the hotel we’re stayin at. maximum convenience. Stagger downstairs and into the con. There’s a booze store next to the hotel too.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          I’ve always wanted to attend a horror convention. Are they worth it, or is it a sweaty overblast of nerd culture?

          • sweetooth0

            Not nearly as nerdy as the comic convention stuff. You’ll see a lot more tatted up metalheads, punks and rockabilly types. It’s a bit depressing in a sense to see some of your favorite horror actors reduced to charging 20-30 for a signature at a table, but on the other hand cool to meet some of them. The main draw for me is the incredible amount of merch all condensed into one place that you can’t really find all that easily. I got a really sick limited run Decker mask from one a couple years back for example. It was made by a special effects company, so not something you’d ever find in a store or online.

      • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls
        • CyberneticOrganism

          Super 8: Fuck All You Want

    • Lacertilian

      Mystifier>>>

  • Good: having folks over for movie night… the original MAD MAX!
    Bad (aka Shame on me): i have never seen a Mad Max film prior to Fury Road.
    Also good: Having Christian around again!

    • You’re too kind

    • Maik Beninton™

      I’m going through the Daredevil series I’m on ep. 8 of the second season.

      • Edward/Breegrodamus™

        I just finished the second season of Daredevil last night, finally. Killer stuff.

        • Maik Beninton™

          I might start watching Jessica Jones after it, seeing a lot of people are talking about it and I never heard of her.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            You should.

            Technically if you wanna get chronological, the events of s1 Daredevil take place before s1 Jessica Jones, before s2 Daredevil. They will all be tied together into The Defenders, which is Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Luke Cage, and Iron Fist.

          • Luke Cage upsets me. that actor can’t act.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            I’ll be interested to see how he / they (the creators) do with his series, I’ll be watching, September 30th. Loras Tyrell, the Knight of Flowers, from Game of Thrones has been cast as Iron Fist.

          • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

            man, im not gay, but that dudes sexy

          • no guy looks good next to Nikolaj Coster-Waldau

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Am I the only one who thinks that Rosario Dawson didn’t look as hot as usually in the first season?

          • you are the only one. (edited)

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            As in “yes, you are the only one who thinks that” or as in “yes, Frank, you are right”?

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            I love her in everything, so I’m probably not the best person to ask, lol

    • I’m with you on the Mad Max bit! Didn’t care for Fury Road, actually. Maybe I’m missing something?

  • Guppusmaximus

    Happy Friday Bros Ov Metuhl!! Have a Great Weekend m/ m/

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Good: Seeing Metal Church tonight, got paid yesterday, I’m going to Universal for my birthday

    Bad: I have to miss Mushroomhead’s show because I’ll be in Florida

    Ugly: None

    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      Let me fix that for you.

      Good: Seeing Metal Church tonight, got paid yesterday, I’m going to Universal for my birthday
      I have to miss Mushroomhead’s show because I’ll be in Florida

      Bad: None

      Ugly: None

      (just joking)

    • killvps

      Happy birthday/FRIDAY JJD!

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        Wait…it’s JJD’s birthday?

        Happy birthday JJD!

        • Waynecro

          Happy birthday, dude (if it is indeed your birthday)!

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        My birthday is on the 21st.

    • more beer

      Happy birthday. Are 21 now? Go get yourself a beer!

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        My birthday isn’t until the 21st

        • more beer

          I was going by the comments. But still go get a beer anyway.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I’m waiting until I go to Universal to drinkm

  • hieronymus bossk

    GOOD: I get to play on AHL (that’s minor pro hockey) ice tomorrow and then eat at a good BBQ place. That’s a good day.

    BAD: I’m sure I’ll find something to complain about, or some buried mental flaw thing I reveal.

    UGLY: I found it. Next week is the day I escaped the womb. I feel like I’ve done nothing significant with my life, I have no close friends left, I haven’t had a significant relationship yet (closest was two months) and have dumb quirks that will keep it that way, I have like no set goals for the future, will have to buy my own insurance, I have no real ambitions for the future. I’ve been complacent (yet slightly burnt out at the same time) with the way things have been to this point instead of hungering for something more. I’m not even midlife and I’m already starting to crisis.

    • EsusMoose

      Like for the barbeque, hope you don’t buy a motorcycle to deal with your early midlife crisis.

      • hieronymus bossk

        I didn’t finish learning how to ride a bike as a kid, so that’s something you don’t have to worry about.

        I really, really need a car-shaped vehicle-thing though.

    • Sorry that you’re in a crisis, man. I can relate in a way. Regardless, you’ll realize what you want/need to do eventually. This is just an unfortunate phase on the way to something better.

      • more beer

        Hey it is Deicide the night after Behemoth. Napalm Death and the Melvins are on 4/27. Next Friday night Scalafrea is playing at 3 Kings. It’s only 8 bucks. I’m gonna go to that ND definitely and probably Deicide rather than Behemoth. It’s a little cheaper and I prefer death metal to black metal.

        • I’ll be at Napalm Death, tickets already bought. Maybe the other two, I’ll check the wallet.

          • more beer

            Nice. Maybe it won’t be as crazy as Black Sky was and we will run into each other this time.

          • Sure hope so! Decibel Tour this past Tuesday was packed to the fucking gills.

          • more beer

            Decibel tour is always like that.

  • Warheart

    I hate eating noises, that’s the main reason why I prefer eating alone whenever it’s possible.

  • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

    Good: Arktis. Friday. finally have money in my pocket from bein broke as fuck all week. DKS3 TUESDAY, INCLUDING A WEEKS PAID VACAY.

    Bad: work tomorrow. i still havent decided what vinyl to purchase.

    Ugly: i think i give up on sludge. i tried to listen to the new Graves at Sea in preparation for the show next week and gave up after the first (12 MINUTE LONG) song. so boring.

    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      You don’t give up on sludge. You just don’t do that.

      • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

        sorry man. its bad when i listen to one song and throw the disc in the floorboard

        to be fair, it was competing with Arktis and Celestia’s Frigidiis Apotheosia: Abstinencia Genesiis . . . but still. big ol snooze button

        • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

          To be fair, I haven’t listened to Graves At Sea yet. I dig quite some sludge though. Crowbar, Eyehategod, Acid Bath, Melvins, (early) Mastodon, (early) Baroness, Rwake…or the post-sludge such as Neurosis, Isis, Cult of Luna, Amenra, The Ocean…

          • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

            sludge used to be my shit, man. and its real big where i live. i think im done w it tho lol

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            My listening style is that I always have a bit of everything, so I never overindulge on one particular style. Sometimes I won’t listen to a certain band for a few weeks, but after that time when I put on some, say, Eyehategod again I’m all like…

          • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

            i think A.G.E. is polarizing my tastes

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Getting old sucks.

          • more beer

            Age is just a number. It is all about how you feel and act.

          • Waynecro

            Feeling old sucks.

          • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

            REAL AGE: ANCIENT

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            The only age that matters is the age of consent.

          • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

            which only matters a little

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

          • more beer

            You have to start doing things that don’t make you feel old.That’s what I do. Go to more shows, bang chicks who are younger than you. Stop living like a recluse. Hung out with your friends or make some friends. Yes I know most people suck. You just have to seek out the cool ones. But if you act like you’re old you’re going to feel old. Since I am old I know what I’m talking about.

          • Waynecro

            Well, I have been going to more shows lately.

          • more beer

            That is good. I must say, going to shows is one of the things that keeps me feeling young. When I tell people how old I am. Most of the time they tell me no you’re not you don’t look that old. Somehow I managed to age pretty well. Considering my lifestyle. Life is too short to stay locked in your house. Enjoy yourself, you only get to do this once.

      • Edward/Breegrodamus™

        Pervertor from Lord Mantis, insert fire flame emojis.

        • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

          Pervertor and Death Mask are both great. If the new song they released is any indication, Lord Mantis is going to take a trip down the drain though.

          • i…i want to do my best to squash early theories that it’ll be bad. it could be a Ben Affleck -> Batman situation, let’s wait and see!

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            You are right, I’m jumping to conclusions here.
            The lack of Charlie Fell will be evident though. Although Dylan O’Toole isn’t a bad vocalist; he has one of the most gut wrenching screams in the business.

          • JWEG

            Not to deviate too far from that point, but curiosity compels me:

            I’ve heard that Affleck’s Batman is one of the more convincing reasons to see, rather than skip, BvS. Mostly because his portrayal of of he character he inhabits better fits its unnecessarily Dork Age Comics tone than should anyone else involved.

            But on the other hand, I’d get the same out of waiting for Justice League, wouldn’t I?

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Gah, watching the trailer, they completely fucked up Doomsday. Even worse than the one on Smallville. You’d think with the kind of budget BVS was working with, they’d at least make Doomsday look at least something like he did in the comics (aka the ultimate badass killing machine). LMAO, this is one of the sketches they were going to use:

            http://images-cdn.moviepilot.com/images/c_limit,h_881,w_2048/t_mp_quality/lsuz2hs53fvoyt9wjnkn/batman-v-superman-concept-art-is-unsurprisingly-beautiful-917166.jpg

            He looks like he’s ready to grab Superman, and pet him and cuddle him and call him George.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            Agreed, it stunk.

    • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

      oh, i also wanted to comment on Lassy’s stuff. LOUD EATING IS ONE OF MY BIGGEST PET PEEVES. My old lady is a terrible offender. i often joke that it must be a yankee thing to have no table manners, or that i cant tell the difference between her eating and the dog eating (i hope she doesnt read this)

    • ME GORAK KING OV CAVEMEN!!!
  • ME GORAK KING OV CAVEMEN!!!

    GORAK NEVER STOP SMASHING CUTLERLY!!!!!!!!
    GORAK NEVER STOP SMASHING PLATE!!!!!!!
    SMASH & B SMASHED & GET SMASHED!!!!!!!!

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

    Good: Chill week so far.
    Bad: Nothing much so far.
    LMAO: Vince Neil got his ass beat by Nicolas Cage (no, it’s real life and not a movie, lolbuttz)
    The Ugly: http://funtooo.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Close-Enough….-Lolll….jpg

    • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

      think about that big ol boy right there hitting you full speed. goddamn

      • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

        I’d be more afraid of him lactating on me!

    • more beer

      Gaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

        Oh, and almost forgot: The National Contortionist’s Convention was this week. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiipppppppppp!!!

        • more beer

          That’s better. I used to date this chick who said she was a contortionist. She could wrap both of her ankles behind her head. While she was a lot of fun and very flexible. She was certainly using the word contortionist very loosely.But I am sure she would have been down to try what these 2 are doing. As long as they were naked.

  • Good: It’s my best friend / brother in metal’s birthday tomorrow, which of course will be celebrated with lots of craft beer (what else are you supposed to do in Denver?). As for me, I landed a contract gig on top of my regular 9-5, which means I may be able to occasionally afford shows/albums/beer again. And I can work from home while my nerdy space game runs on my other laptop. Success! Working on the next Metal Recipes entry as well.

    Bad: Being epileptic can be really embarrassing / scary sometimes. Kind of annoyed with, since it’s not yet fully controlled, having to worry about suddenly spazzing out and hurting myself.

    Ugly: Working on Christmas books in fucking April. Even with occasional breaks to sample the new Ihsahn. Yargh.

    • Lacertilian
      • Well, that too.

      • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

        classic

      • more beer

        It almost goes without saying in Colorado.

    • more beer

      Did you check out Greenworkz for that high CBD strain? My dispensary is strictly medical. They are a small dispensary but have a really good selection. Local Product of Colorado. 13th & Bannock. I have heard so many good things about high CBD’s and Epilepsy.

      • Haven’t gotten there yet, no; consequence of less money, though hopefully that’ll change soon. The best possibility is that a couple friends who are excellent growers want to grow me a plant, and if we can find a high CBD seedling then we’re good to go. But if that falls through, it’s back to the dispensaries. CBD >>>>

        • more beer

          I know Josh Stanley the guy responsible for breeding that Charlotte’s Webb. It took him a long time to breed the THC out of those plants. It was kind of like a mad science experiment. I never saw weed plants that looked like these. They had tiny little leaves and looked more like a shrub than a weed plant. I haven’t spoken to him in a while. But I can see if I can get a clone from him. That’s a big maybe though. Because no one wants to part with these plants. As they are big money makers. Greenworkz may have either seed or clones. My dispensary is one the top 5 rated in Denver and has the lowest prices. Plus they have a sick rewards program. I get a lot of free stuff there.

    • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

      are you playing Sins of a Solar Empire??????

      • Nope. EVE Online, aka Spreadsheets In Space.

        • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

          gotcha, i got a buddy thats an EVE player. i cant MMO anymore

          • Not enough time?

          • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

            yeah, to begin with

          • That can be one of the big drawbacks, definitely. I usually try to ration my time anyway, so that if I have free time I don’t spend all of it in front of a screen.

          • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

            well, with eve you can kinda set it and forget it, with the researches anyway

          • Indeed. When I’m working (since I run two computers in my office), I generally either have a ship mining asteroids for passive income, or I sit in a cloaky ship at a lucrative site waiting to ambush some poor bastard.

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls
  • tigeraid

    Oh great lizard, I must know: I chew with my mouth closed, was raised
    specifically that way. But what about the very first bite of something
    crunchy? A chick at work always gets pissy and tells me to chew with my
    mouth closed when I take the VERY FIRST BITE of celery and carrots.
    How is that humanly possible, without first getting the food into my
    mouth? Am I a giant fucking hypocrite living a lie? Inquiring minds
    need to know.

  • tigeraid

    The Good: VACATIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!! Starts this weekend.
    The Bad: The fucking weather may only partially co-operate. Fair-weather hiking may be at a minimum.
    The Ugly: My basement during melting season. Fuck me.