Flush It Friday: Reflecting on Two Years of Flushin’

Two years after my first “real” blog post on Toilet ov Hell, I’m looking back and wondering, “was this a good idea?”

The Toilet ov Hell is a collaborative effort between a bunch of smart, funny people who regularly put out great work despite the fact that this job pays negative monies. Why they do it? I dunno. In truth, I’m not sure why I’m doing this.

Way back in the Summer of 2014 I was bored and looking for a project to sink my teeth into. I don’t think I’ve been bored since. Through the last two years, I’ve lost a lot of sleep working through drafts of articles that never ran, editing posts that needed total re-writes, and getting irrationally angry at strangers on the Internet. I’ve learned so much about music, publishing, and community than I ever realized I didn’t know.

Among the many successes we’ve amassed, I’m most proud of the fact that we’ve never compromised our ethics to boost page views, we’ve never given in to any dubious offers to post “sponsored content” from shady advertisers, and we’ve never been sued (nervously knocking on wood). I don’t know what will become of Toilet ov Hell in the next two years but I’m cautiously optimistic. I hope you’ll join me as we walk hand-in-hand, nervous yet cautiously optimistic into the future.

Also, I made these shirts as a joke this morning which six of you how now unexpectedly purchased. You can pick one up right here. The floor is now yours. It’s Flush it Friday.

IMG_2575

Written by:

Published on: July 15, 2016

Filled Under: Open Swim

Views: 1331

Tags: , ,

  • GOOD: I’m getting better (Very slowly). I’m able to eat PB&J’s again which has been fucking AMAZING!!!!!! Eggs are also sitting well, but I’m still very limited to what I can eat. I also gained 10 pounds within 10 days of eating real foods again. It’s amazing how fast the weight comes back after not eating for a month straight.

    BAD: Still no clue what my stomach issue is. I still have flare-ups, but they have been better, like I said. I’m trying to be optimistic!

    UGLY: The nausea that I have to deal with. It comes and goes, but goddamnit when it’s present, it’s certainly ugly.

    GOOD and perhaps BAD/UGLY: Took a big risk and bought a ticket for the Summer Slaughter fest in Baltimore on the 27th of July. Home I don’t feel like total shit that day. I really want to see Krisiun so fucking bad!

    • tigeraid

      Bruh. PB&J after eating that gruel forever must be fucking heaven.

    • Waynecro

      Congrats, man! I hope your health continues to improve.

    • Lacertilian

      That’s excellent news man.
      Let the peanut butter flow!

    • Peanut buttah >>>>>>>>

      • Waynecro
        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          My dad has powdered peanut butter in the cabinet where we keep our non refrigerated food.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            holy shit, are you guys doomsday preppers? thats metal af

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            No. My dad likes it.

          • Waynecro

            I keep a bunch of military grade nutrition bricks with fresh water, ammo, emergency blankets, and other supplies in a metal ammo case under my bed. I’m not a doomsday prepper, but I want to be prepared.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            i just assume i can take whats needed in a crisis situation

          • Waynecro

            I like that attitude.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            #truealpha

          • Ayreonaut

            Sounds like my jeep…
            I keep food for a week + makeshift shelters and a portable stove and basic weapons +all fluids and tools needed to keep it operational. Idk why but I do haha.

          • Waynecro

            Powdered peanut butter is supposed to work really well in protein shakes.

          • Syntha-6 peanut butter flavored protein powder is delicious as well. Costs an arm and a leg and is full of extra crap, but tastes good.

          • more beer

            There is a really good rather cheap show at the Bluebird tonight.

        • JWEG

          My fave Canadian brand of OG peanut butter:

          http://www.adamspeanutbutter.ca/Content/images/product_landing_trio.png

          They make a 100% organic variety that’s absolutely top notch.

          • Waynecro

            Nice! I’m not a snob or anything, but I only like peanut butter with “peanuts and salt” as ingredients.

        • i’m glad you fuckers aren’t touching the chunky stuff, more for me!

          • Waynecro

            I have nothing against chunky. I buy chunky sometimes. I was going to make a joke about feeling nutty here, but I thought better of it.

    • Stockhausen

      Very glad to hear you’re on the path to domination again. HAIL!

    • Dagon

      Got my fingers crossed that you will be blessed with a TOP NOTCH Kolesnes show.

    • Abradolf Lincler

      yo, i ate a shit ton of deviled eggs the other night and i thought i was gonna die.

      #tyreeproblems

      • Dude, I fucking love me some deviled eggs. It’s easy to over-do em though.

      • Dagon

        What are deviled eggs? 2lazy2google

        • Elegant Gazing Globe

          fat american picnic food

        • Abradolf Lincler

          boiled eggs which are halved, the yolks are scooped out and used to make a paste to put back in the halves. perfect finger food, common at thanksgiving an christmas
          http://foodnetwork.sndimg.com/content/dam/images/food/fullset/2008/6/9/0/CI0103_Classic-Deviled-Eggs.jpg

          • Abradolf Lincler

            i donno how your stomach would handle all the mayo and other stuff

            are you pro dill chips included or against?

          • Pro. Once again though, no can do at the moment.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            aww youre killin me smalls. i grew up eating with dill chips. i make them without. messes up the texture palette imo

          • nbm02ss

            Mayo, Italian dressing, mustard, and paprika is how I’ve made them for years.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            huh, havent seen italian dressing

            mayo
            dash of ground mustard
            dash of cumin
            salt & pepper
            paprika on top

            rel simple

          • nbm02ss

            The very first time I made them the recipe called for vinegar, but I didn’t have any on hand so I just used a bit of Italian dressing, and it worked.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            thats cray. the mayo adds enough liquidity for me, i would think. seems like it would make the egg very tart. this has been enlightening. perhaps a southern thing?

          • Incontinent Gorilla Rodeo

            Bleu cheese dressing/crumbles also goes great on them.

    • Incremental improvement is a good sign. Your body is slowly adjusting to your dietary changes. Keep doing what you are doing, seems to be helping.

    • sweetooth0

      Killer, glad to hear there’s been improvement!

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Good to hear you’re feeling better brah.

      IMPORTANT: can you still blast?

    • Incontinent Gorilla Rodeo

      Great to hear you’re at least feeling a little bit better! Hopefully it’ll be a full recovery soon.

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      Good to hear my man!!!!!

  • Howard Dean

    I spent one year on a toilet-themed metal blog and one year banned from a toilet-themed metal blog, and all I got for it was a heightened record collecting addiction and a bruised ego. Also, the opportunity to come back and flush you mafuckahs into the void.

    Byah, mafuckahs! It’s the weekend. Enjoy yourselves.

    https://media0.giphy.com/media/v83OWOtIqWcdq/200_s.gif

    • Elegant Gazing Globe

      everyone just quit RotW

      • Howard Dean

        HD’s riff ov Friday afternoon: starts at 0:00.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTXMUHiQPFo

        • more beer

          Long time no see how are you?

          • Howard Dean

            Pretty good! How are you doing? Good to be back around the Toilet. A lot of new faces, but also a lot of people I recognize.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            and perhaps some faces you dont recognize you recognize

          • more beer

            Like you!

          • Howard Dean

            Is KJM still around? KJU? KSOFM? (I think I’m out of acronym nicknames that start with the letter “K”)

          • Abradolf Lincler

            kju is in the room now, kjm i can pass along the message, no idea where ksofm is

          • Howard Dean

            What about Tapir/Death/Metaphysical Anus? Stanley? Slambulance? DoYouThinkHeSaurus? zzzzzzzzzzzz?

          • Abradolf Lincler

            Tapoor still around, Stan still around, Slam no idea, saurus and zzzzz….. to be determined

          • I haven’t seen zzzzz in a long time. Slam recently started coming around again. If you make a Jurassic Park reference DoYouThinkHeSaurus will appear.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            this doesnt account for actual/fixtional names

          • we really need more Tapir! although if he sees this, he might stay away even more :/

          • Howard Dean

            Haha. He should change back to Metaphysical Anus. But then again, he’s just imaginary (like everything from Fin-Land).

          • Incontinent Gorilla Rodeo

            KSOFM rage quit here, last I remember. And he got banned from Blabbermouth not long ago, for some, ummmmmm, shall we say colorful words that he tried to pass through the filter here before.

          • Incontinent Gorilla Rodeo

            KJU right here. Many many names changes later.

          • more beer

            I am doing really well. A bunch of new faces but also a bunch of name changes.

    • Abradolf Lincler

      aw, shit

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      Youre back!

    • sweetooth0

      Hey Howard!!

      • Howard Dean

        Byaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!

    • welcome back!

      • Howard Dean

        Thanks McNulty! It’s good to be back.

    • DoYouThinkHeSaurus

      Ellie, this one was always my favorite when I was a kid. And now I’ve seen one, its the most beautiful thing I ever saw.
      http://media.navigatored.com/images/GOV_public-official-2002-howard-dean.jpg

    • Incontinent Gorilla Rodeo

      Dayum, this is a blast from the past!

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      I am a newcomer since your last comment, but I remember you from my lurking days. Nice to have you back Mr. Dean.

      • Howard Dean

        Thanks!

    • tigeraid

      Holy shitsnacks, Howard fuckin Dean is back. BYAAAAAH!

  • Lacertilian

    Thanks Joe!
    We appreciate what you’ve done for us weirdos.

  • tigeraid

    THE GOOD: Three day weekend, and for once it’s not 8 million degrees outside.

    THE BAD: A lightning strike took out my big LCD TV and satellite receiver a few days ago, because of course I can’t go a week without something expensive breaking. It’s time to move to Nunavut and become a hermit.

    THE UGLY: France, and the awful political response to the situation. :/

  • tertius_decimus

    Deepest condolences to families of those, who died in Nice yesternight.

    This is both ugly and bad. The planet is still inhabited with thousands of idiots waiting their time to pull the trigger. No reasons. Not a fucking single reason.

  • nbm02ss

    GOOD: Finally had the job interview, and I think it we pretty swell. My GTX 1070 finally came in, so I’ve had my gaming computer back together for a couple days; time to relax and spend the weekend pwning n00bz.

    BAD: The other day I went outside barefoot to move the garbage and recycling to the curbside for pickup, and I managed to step in a fire ant nest. FUCK. That hurt.

    UGLY: My right foot up to my knee cap is blistered like a motherfucker.

    • I recently had to do a forced PC upgrade due to my PC unexpectedly shitting the bed. I have a computer with a 1080 on the way and in so stoked for that shit.

      • *DROOLS*
        I’m gonna upgrade to a 1080 someday. Shit is craaazzzzy powerful.

        • When they told me it had 8 gb of its own ram I got so giddy lol. My 970 only has (had I guess) 3.5.

        • ME GORAK!!!™

          GORAK NEED UPGRAYDD SOON!!!!!! FX6300 & GTX 650 NOT SO IMPRESS ANYMORE 🙁 !!!!!!!

  • Elegant Gazing Globe

    Good: All the awesome internet friends and enemies I’ve made here in the past two years.
    Bad: That shirt, Joe PLZ
    Ugly: the fact I’m getting close to having a different toilet shirt for each day of the week.

    • That shirt is TERRIBLE, I make no apologies.

      • Elegant Gazing Globe

        now that I think of it, once I get this one ordered and it arrives, I will have a toilet shirt for each day of the (work) week, including my bootleg logo tee

      • Waynecro

        Terrible like a fox!

      • Incontinent Gorilla Rodeo

        At least you’re accidentally making some bank from it.

  • Abradolf Lincler

    And Joe’s hands grew three sizes that day
    https://media.giphy.com/media/C1gEvbqAOBSzS/giphy.gif

    Good: Very special article on the way for you fellas that i know many will be interested in. Spent WAY too much money on records this morning (thanks, Tyree). My old lady is out of town until next week, so house to myself. Got two bonuses at work this month.

    Bad: Relationships never get less irritating

    Ugly: Closing on the house August 1st. Let the stress begin.

    • Incontinent Gorilla Rodeo

      Awwwww, man, the things I could do if my hands grew three sizes!

      • more beer

        You would finally be able to wrap them around that little thing you play with on the top bunk!

        • Incontinent Gorilla Rodeo

          Damn you, stop peeking through my window when I have it out!

          • more beer

            Dude I am old the eyes aren’t so good. It was just a lucky guess.

  • Stockhausen

    Eyy, I’m listening to the new Cäina, which will be a nice transition to Integrity

    • Lacertilian

      That Integrity promo invoked a malicious content warning on my cpu.
      Not sure if it meant it had some virus attached or was just rill siqqq.
      Didn’t open it because I’m a giant wimp.

  • Uh… I think there’s a coup going on in Turkey right now?

    • Abradolf Lincler

      just heard that. i have a turkish friend i havent heard from in a while, i should check in.

      turkeys been crazy forever

      • more beer

        I’ve been to Turkey. It was a strange experience.

        • Abradolf Lincler

          well the current regime in turkey is a Sharia law, islamist one. Perhaps this is another arab spring. Turkey has been doing some strange things with the US and Russians lately

        • Incontinent Gorilla Rodeo

          My dad’s said the same thing about his time being stationed there.

          • more beer

            He would be correct.

    • Celtic Frosty

      Yep. Very limited information on Twitter other than “there’s a coup happening in Turkey right now.”

      • Incontinent Gorilla Rodeo

        Latest I just read is that the police are fighting the military right now. That CANNOT end well!

    • Lacertilian

      Sounds like it.

    • Their Prez or PM is human scum from what I’ve read. This is going to be ugly any way you slice it.

      • Incontinent Gorilla Rodeo

        He’s been trying to shut down the internet and phones there for quite some time, outside of state-sponsored stuff. And trying more and more to throw away the Constitution, and move it more towards something like Iran.

        • Iran is actually the most stable country in that region.

          • Incontinent Gorilla Rodeo

            Not by much. I was about to say Turkmenistan since they’re completely neutral, but that’s just barely outside of the Middle East.

    • Incontinent Gorilla Rodeo

      Damn, I gotta drop the She Past Away guys a line then. They’re in Istanbul, right in the middle of things.

  • Dagon

    GOOD: It’s crazy that it’s been this long since we’ve started talking shit on the internet while some people bust their asses to provide us with the content and the platform for it.

    BAD: Coincidentally it has been the same amount of time since I’ve had a girlfriend. Or an erection.

    UGLY: Y’all asses

    • I’m sure that those things are unrelated

      • Dagon

        Totally unrelated. Not possible. 0 correlation.

    • I’ve been single after the breakup with the ex nearly killed me for about a year or two now. I’m casually looking for something, but I’m not focusing all my energy on it and instead I’m enjoying the single life. Much better that way if you ask me.

      • Waynecro

        I’m with you, dude. My Xbox Live Gamer Score has doubled since my woman left me. I win.

        • Imaginary internet points that get you nowhere in life FOR THE FUCKING WIN

          • Waynecro

            If I accrue enough of those imaginary Internet points, I get some sort of digital badge. EVEN MORE WIN!!!

  • Super Nintendo Chalmers

    Good: I bought a new truck. 2016 Ram 3500 Megacab. Rollin’ coal near you late summer 2016 onwards.

    Bad: Not much.

    Ugly: Even less.

      • Super Nintendo Chalmers

        Gotta go fast

      • more beer

        It’s not complete until it is covered in pictures of Our Lady of Guadalupe. Like a former coworker of mine had his done. A vehicle which I refused to get inside of.

        • Abradolf Lincler

          Jose loves that truck, mb

          • more beer

            Actually his name was Tony.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            Go figure

          • more beer

            It was probably really Antonio. I’m going to see Of Feather and Bone tonight in a real venue and not a book store. I am pretty psyched.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            very nice, im surprised i like that style so much, but they are a dope band

          • more beer

            I like good music. I am pretty open minded for an old dude. Those guys tore it up in a bookstore so this venue they should really kick ass.

          • They came through here 4th of July weekend and I couldn’t go. Getting others to go to a show is becoming a hassle and I don’t want to go solo.

          • more beer

            If it is a band I really want to see I will go by myself. I know most of the scene regulars here also so it’s not such a big deal. I went to Sewercide and Undergang by myself a couple of weeks ago.

          • I do it rarely, I went to see Bleak back in May because they were playing 15 minutes away from where I live. I consider it a crime to pass on that one.

          • more beer

            Man Of Feather and Bone Killed it tonight. Better than the headliners.. You should have gone alone.

        • Super Nintendo Chalmers

          I’m going to cover mine in pictures of RandallThor. Or Albus.

          • more beer

            Better than symbols of some fake sky god.

          • Elegant Gazing Globe

            get a galaxy wrap

    • Elegant Gazing Globe

      let see some pics bro(of your monster stickers in particular)

    • Abradolf Lincler

      pics or it didnt happen.

      your bad and ugly should be: diesel prices

      • Elegant Gazing Globe
      • Super Nintendo Chalmers

        http://www.brownschrysler.com/new/Ram/2016-Ram-3500-68b3218d0a0e0ae73e3efc8d2663fd02.htm#&gid=1&pid=2

        Basically this, but mine will be black. Disregard that list price in there. I got mine for a lot less. That price on there is bananas.

        • Abradolf Lincler

          nice, i dont care for the extended cabs but thats a hell of a truck. like i said, good luck with diesel prices, and dont ask me to fix your windshield

          • Super Nintendo Chalmers

            I have a fuel card through work for mileage so I am pretty fortunate.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            mine only covers my little work car, i think ill be buying a subaru or jeep for the winter

          • Super Nintendo Chalmers

            I have to work all over so I need to carry a lot of stuff with me. The company I’m with has basically gone the route of giving us fuel cards and money on a monthly basis towards vehicles instead of maintaining a fleet.

          • more beer

            While Subaru seems great. They have a huge timing belt issue from what a mechanic friend told me. He said they go at about 60,000 miles and you need to drop the engine to fix it. It typically costs about 1800 bucks.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            i live in “subaru country”

            i work on subarus every day, and have seen many battle-worn ones. i expect this shit out of most imports (excluding honda and toyota). i have a ford explorer with over 250k miles. hard to surprise me with cars. all wheel drive in the mountains in winter is a near necessity

          • more beer

            My Toyota Tacoma has almost 350 thousand miles on it and runs like a champ. Trust me every trustafarian entitled asshole here owns a Subaru. They are also the worst drivers on the road here.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            all wheel drive > 4 wheel drive.

            simple as that. Tacoma is probably another top 10 car we work on here. they are on par with highest resale value. its actually hard to get a used one at a decent price

            (we all know im not a trustafarian or libtard rite????).

          • I have been looking for a decent used Tacoma for a bit. They really do retain value like a motherfucker.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            show me a decent Tacoma under 10 grand, i dare you

          • If I had found one I woulda bought it

          • Abradolf Lincler

            preposterous

          • nbm02ss

            Even better than TJ Jeeps retain their value. It’s nuts.

          • more beer

            Yes they do and they last forever as long as you maintain them. I got mine for 1500 under book value. I was actually kind of shocked by how they maintain value.

          • more beer

            Yes we do.

          • Ayreonaut

            I noticed that in cny snow country, (syracuse is the snowiesl city in the us) Subarus drive the slowest in the winter.

          • more beer

            And they are the worst drivers.

          • Elegant Gazing Globe

            I spent over 3k on a new head gasket/timing belt service on a Legacy with 82k miles. I ditched that libtardmobile for a DMAX

          • more beer

            That is very typical of them. I always see a blown head gasket as an excuse to get a new vehicle. I a pretty mechanically inclined and do all my own work on my truck.

          • Ayreonaut

            Ok for real this time in not trying to toot he jeep horn but my last grand cherokee 4.0 blew it’s head at 225000 mules whenthe belt shredded and wrapped around the water pump and it overheated. I know it wasmy fault, I thought it could make it. I ended up getting a killer deal on a whole engine, tranny and transfer case, changed the head in one day and ended up profiting 350$ on the whole deal lol. Traded the jeep to my buddy for a cherokee ND he’s still driving it with over 300000 miles. Subaru are not easy to change heads in, that is my input.

          • more beer

            No they aren’t. My understanding is nothing is easy to fix on them. I really like my Tacoma. It is really easy to wrench.

          • nbm02ss

            Head gasket issues, too. Seems everyone I know with a Subie has head gaskets go out around 100k.

          • more beer

            I just know I will never buy one. Way too many problems.

          • nbm02ss

            I wouldn’t own one, either, but they have a very strong following.

          • more beer

            Yep trust fund kids, soccer moms and militant lesbians choose them here over everything else.

          • Ayreonaut

            GET A JEEP

        • Elegant Gazing Globe

          I hope that trump doesn’t shut off the oil pipe from canada when he gets elected for your sake

          • Super Nintendo Chalmers

            I’m on the north side of the border so either way I’m fine.

        • Holy fuck. I don’t even think I’ll ever be able to afford a vehicle half that price.

    • nbm02ss
      • Super Nintendo Chalmers

        And watch my frame twist like a fucking pretzel.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      FOLLOW SUPER NINTENDO CHALMERS TO BDUBS

  • Dagon

    I’d also like to add that in the span of 2 years we’ve had toilet BABIES spawning here and there. This shit is crazy.

  • Good: lots of good tunes dropped this week.

    Bad: I can’t download them because my computer bit the dust and the new one won’t be here till Sunday. This has also delayed my DOOM review 😡

    Ugly: the amount of money I’ve spent on adulting these past few months.

    • Doom has rejuvenated my waning interest in video games. if you need halp writing the review, plz call me

      • It’s actually been written in my notebook for 2 weeks. I just can’t type it out or record gameplay for it without a computer :/

        • makes sense. ‘twould be rather humorous if i published a review before you did

          • Waynecro

            Oh, shit! Is it on? I think it may be on!

          • Lol well if you want to go ahead. I’ll just scrap the review I put my blood sweat and tears Into and write something else 🙂

  • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

    GOOD: Sweet release of death weekend.
    BAD: Single, least it was amicable. And didn’t get that super-unlikely university either.
    UGLY: That shirt. Gonna get it anyways.

  • Megan Alexandra

    keep it up. this is my spot. many, many thanks.

  • JWEG

    Bad Gnus first: due to difficulties with one particular aspect of my passport application process plus ongoing hassle of Travel Medical insurance wrangling so soon after surgery (9 weeks today) it looks like I won’t be going to Migration Fest.

    Good:
    – Cat sitting this weekend. Waiting for a key to be delivered

    – No postal strike yet so some Kickstarter reward stuff might yet get through early next week. U.S. backers got theirs this week, there’s usually only a few day delay.

    – TovH community. Disqus because I don’t “do” Facebook, except for family and vague relations. That said, You’re the family I chose, not the one I was stuck with from Day One.

    Ugly: The new American Trumppence logo. And you say we have weird (colourful) currency…

    What? It’s not money?

    Huh.

    • more beer

      It’s kind of mean to sit on a cat.

      • Abradolf Lincler

        seconded

      • JWEG

        It would be fair turnaround for them sitting on me… Younger one used to like perching her butt on sleeping people’s faces.

        I suppose I will find out later tonight if she still does. 😐

        • more beer

          But there is that little difference in weight thing.

    • Elegant Gazing Globe

      your in UK? does postal strike mean royalmailmanbro might take longer than usual?

      • JWEG

        Canada. Also weird colourful currency, just a few fewer bills, despite similar-to-US denominations.

        Wouldn’t ever want it to go back now that I’m used to Loonies and “Twonies” though…

      • JWEG

        If Canada Post workers strike it means a delay for sure. Could be short. Could be long.

        I just worry whenever there are delays in getting packages from Border Services to the Posties, because I actually had things get lost in a random mailbag for several months after the last strike occurred.

        • sweetooth0

          There’s a 30 day hold now on the stupid strike. Hoping my Lord Mantis stuff gets here soon before they decide to pull the plug.

    • Elegant Gazing Globe

      this video and any ted nugent video. both at same time. both full volume

    • This is your own fault for looking at whatever causes the algorithm to give lolbuttz recommendations lol.

      • Spear

        All the related videos for my band’s stuff is shit like this. =/

        • Really? I wonder why.

          • Spear

            Probably our name. We get a lot of those “YOU DON’T HAVE TO ANSWER DA GUBBERMENT’S QUESTIONS” kind of things, too.

      • Vidya OSTs in Incognito mode?

    • Abradolf Lincler

      zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz?

      • more beer

        Play this and this at the same time at full volume while watching infowars. It is here that you will find the answers.

    • Spear

      1 share=1 blown whistle

      • CyberneticOrganism

        1 watch = 1 satire pull

    • Incontinent Gorilla Rodeo

      Looking that rambling speech and thinking: Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

      Isn’t that right, Alex Jones?

      http://thedailybanter.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/alex_jones_googly_eyes.jpg

  • Spear

    GOOD: This site and the awesome people who dwell in it. I was in a very bad place two years ago, and there’s a good chance I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for you guys. So thank you, and may the flush prevail always.

    Also, I’m going to ProgPower USA in September, so that’s pretty cool (read: exceptionally nerdy) too.

    BAD: Since moving into this new apartment, my sleep schedule is fucked. At least I don’t have to listen to the sounds of construction all day anymo- *train rolls by*

    UGLY: People keep killing each other and it fucking sucks.

    • I’m so tired of hearing about all these shootings. Thing is, it feels new but it’s not. It’s always happened, but we never heard about it unless it was really close to home. With the rise of social media we hear about it all. Every little depressing event that occurs is posted on our phones for all to see. It allows people to be more aware and perhaps help when they couldn’t have before though. It’s both a blessing and a curse.

      • Incontinent Gorilla Rodeo

        Exactly. Violent crime is actually been gradually lower here in America over the years, but the clickbait happy media on both ends aren’t about to let that be front and center. Anyone wanna go back to the murder rates of the 80’s and 90’s? Didn’t think so.

        • Abradolf Lincler

          i dont want to get banned

          • Incontinent Gorilla Rodeo

            *scratches head*

          • Abradolf Lincler

            if its that hard just ignore it, like everyone else

          • Incontinent Gorilla Rodeo

            Fair enough.

          • more beer

            I definitely have a lot of views that others here do not. But when it comes down to it. It doesn’t matter the truth is still the truth. No matter how others try to sugar coat it.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            even the truth is subjective, this day & age

          • more beer

            3 sides to every story.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            fuck the story

      • more beer

        It would really help if they actually gave as much attention to he things that matter most. Instead of bombarding the world with the most polarizing issues. Which cause all the strife.

        • Incontinent Gorilla Rodeo

          Or just let all of humanity wipe itself out. Then me, Scarlette Johanson, Aubrey Plaza, Bi Ling, and Kerry Washington start the whole species from scratch.

          • more beer

            You would have to take your dick out of your hand for that.

          • Incontinent Gorilla Rodeo

            I could spare 2 minutes for that!

    • CyberneticOrganism

      The thing in Nice is ridiculous.

      • Spear

        Yeah. I just can’t fathom what would drive someone to do something like that.

  • Spiders in the shower <<<<<<<<<<<<<

    http://i.giphy.com/11cIsd1BKLVgLS.gif

  • ME GORAK!!!™

    GOOD: TOILET!!!!!!!!
    BAD & UGLY: ALL OTHER NON-BATHROOM THEMED METAL BLOGS!!!!!!!! SMAAAAAAASH OTHER STOOPID BLOGS!!!!!!!

    • tigeraid

      Well put my friend. Well put.

  • Waynecro

    Good: The Toilet of Hell and all the Toileteers.
    Bad: When your ex (who you still have to live with and you still love because you’re a goddamned sucker) starts staying at some other person’s house overnight, and then you find lingerie in the washing machine–lingerie she would never wear for you.
    Ugly: Pert near everything.

    • Abradolf Lincler

      just put condoms in the wash.

      id have to do something deviously vindictive. youre already braver than i

      • Waynecro

        I’m becoming a better person, man. I try to look at this as some sort of character-building exercise. Plus, my daily blind fury has inspired some really awesome workouts.

        • tertius_decimus

          Just don’t snap the spine. This isn’t even a cynical joke.

          • Waynecro

            I actually just got over a back injury. No fun at all. But I didn’t hurt my back working out. I rarely hurt myself working out, thankfully.

          • tertius_decimus

            Well, I was referring to the mind health by using the word “spine” rather than meaning the part of the body.

          • Waynecro

            Ah, I see. Thanks! I’ll be OK. It’s just brutal at times.

    • Spear

      That sucks, dude. You gotta do what you can to get out of there, though. I knew someone stuck in a very similar situation a few years ago, and it got really ugly a couple months in.

      • Why don’t you kick her out ‘necro?

        • Waynecro

          We own the house 50/50. That’s why we’re stuck together. We can’t sell right now, and I don’t think either of us can afford to pay rent somewhere else and the mortgage.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            exact reason im not on our new mortgage

          • Waynecro

            Had I known the woman was going to leave me mere months after we bought the house we planned to retire in, I wouldn’t have put my name on the mortgage.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            try living your life as a suspicious lone wolf-type bastard like me from now on wayne

          • Waynecro

            That’s what I did for my entire life until I met this woman. I see now that I never should have changed.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            only you are gonna look out for you, buddy

          • Waynecro

            Indeed.

          • more beer

            Smart man.

          • Can you lease out your spot?

          • Waynecro

            I’m considering it–considering all my options, really. But I love living in this house (it was our dream house). I’m close to my aging parents, and I have a great office and a sweet gym. I don’t really want to move into an apartment somewhere. I’m going to start fixing up various parts of the house. It’ll probably be worth quite a bit in a few years, at which point we can sell and walk away with enough money to get set up elsewhere.

          • Sanity >>>> Money. And I like money. A LOT.

          • more beer

            This all day long.

          • Waynecro

            Thanks, man. But I’ll survive all this nonsense until I find a fiscally responsible out. I do think this painful experience will make me a better person in the end. Honestly, I’m surprised how devastated I’ve been about this sort of thing, so I’m learning about myself. And now I feel like I have to get over all these stupid feelings. No longer caring will be a sweet victory indeed.

          • tertius_decimus

            Don’t mind that this video is about completely different situation to yours. The message you can extract from it and the author says it with a straight face: all the shit you have to deal with in the end makes you the strong person you are now. If you have received everything on a silver plate, you could have been different. The older you grow, the more “yourself” you become. This peace of mind, an agreement with ineer self is valuable.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7N254MTA4Q

          • Max

            If you like the location, I say you should stay in the house. Once she gets the idea that you’re not going anywhere and stops being completely comfortable with that, she’ll make moves to leave / sell her stake to you. Especially if you manage to find another girl who moves in with you in the meantime.

          • Waynecro

            Good points. I’m definitely not making any hasty decisions. I’d definitely buy her out if that were an option, even though I’d probably have to find roommates to pay the mortgage.

      • Waynecro

        It’s already been quite a few months, and the only problems have been mine (because I’m a stupid wimp who can’t get over her). The living situation really isn’t bad otherwise.

    • more beer

      Order yourself up a hooker and bang her in the living room!

    • tertius_decimus

      Holy shit, dude, what the fuck were you trapped into with your ex… You must be very strong person at heart to bear this cross.

      • Waynecro

        It’s a long story, man. She has all sorts of intimacy/body issues, so we often went extremely long periods without sex. I didn’t care because I loved her. So realizing that she suddenly has no sexual hangups with a new dude makes me furious in ways I can’t even comprehend or express. I’ll get over it. I like to think that I’m fairly strong in mind and body, and I always want to get stronger.

        • Not to suck you back into all this caustic shit, but my thinking is that this new dude could be a real dominant type, which you do not seem to be. Example:
          “Wear sexy shit, baby. I command it.”
          “O…kay…”

          • Waynecro

            I’d like to believe she wouldn’t go for a guy like that, but who fucking knows at this point? Whoever he is, I hate him.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            remember your heritage brother.

          • I shall join you in hating him with all the hate my hateful heart can muster.

          • Waynecro

            Thank you very much! I’m all about the hate.

          • more beer

            upvote for hate.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Hate >>>>>

          • Poop >>>>>>

          • Kate <<<<<<<

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            SURELY HE WILL DIE BY THE STEEL!!!!

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      I’m so sorry.

      • Waynecro

        Thanks, man.

    • BRING “PERT” BACK.

  • Good: I’ve done very little work and still got most of it done this week.
    Bad: Have to buy another iPad because the kids are fighting over the only one in the house.
    Ugly: Saw some of these new hip hop artists freestyle the other day and it was mindless dribble. That would be fine if it was entertaining but it wasn’t.

  • Dave Vincent’s Perm
    • Abradolf Lincler

      dat hair 😉 😉 😉

      • Dave Vincent’s Perm

        Haircuts are for deaf heaven fans and former members of morbid Angel.

        • Abradolf Lincler

          i likr derpheaven, is that why i shave my head and have a ridiculous beard?

          *sobs 4evr

          • CAVE OR SHAVE
            (so you’re gud)

          • Abradolf Lincler

            i caved years ago. my pubes are longer than the average beard

    • Is that a Carcass Reek of Putrefaction shirt!?! I think I have the same one.

      • Dave Vincent’s Perm

        Yep. Couldn’t find a Symphonies of Sickness shirt so I got one of my second favourite carcass album.

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      Nice looking jacket dude!

  • NefariousDude

    Long Live the Terlet!

  • GOOD: Week is over, caught a shitload of high level pukey-mans today with a bunch of coworkers over lunch. This weekend will actually consist of relaxing.
    BAD: Girlfriend’s job has her working late every night lately, so I’ve been eating like shit (I suck at cooking/am too lazy to cook). I’ve also had to take care of all the household stuff by myself, which has taken up the majority of my free time every night.
    UGLY: All the basement-dwelling neckbeards that this pokemon craze is drawing out into the public, but I’m totally happy that people are getting out and walking around when they wouldn’t be.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Good: got paid yesterday, seeing one of the great 70’s southern rock bands next Friday,

    Bad: my love life and social life, Dischordia couldn’t come to my area.

    Ugly: My weight

    • Waynecro

      Start exercising a little and eating a little better. You can begin making progress today.

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        I went to the gym today. I also went on Tuesday and Wednesday.

        • Waynecro

          Awesome, man! Keep it up! Make a few positive dietary changes, and you’re on your way.

        • Abradolf Lincler

          iron isnt an excuse

    • Waynecro is right. use your large frame to your advantage. start lifting and you could eventually take on the real JJD

  • Incontinent Gorilla Rodeo

    Good: Been busy all week, but finally got everything moved into a much more spacious and comfy room (which included a turd left by our former roommate that was in the corner for at least a month. Yes, a turd! One that was definitely larger than anything our animals would pump out), and helping the roomies move some stuff. Outside of that, pretty chill week.

    Bad: Nothing much, really. Storming heavy as fuck outside, and it’s still been 95 or so all week.

    The Whole Other Stuff: http://img.fark.net/images/cache/850/w/wk/fark_wkBE-Bptvbx44Vdft5vYGJSmejM.png?t=IOEe8LfvirD7aX9QhuJS4A&f=1468814400

    http://ww1.hdnux.com/photos/50/13/74/10534716/3/920×920.jpg

  • sweetooth0

    GOOD: I’ve decided I’m gonna not do a big Halloween party this year and instead put on a metal show. Happily I’ve got help from some of the local metal dudes who put on shows and are in bands, so we already reserved the venue and are in process of getting in touch with the bands. Hoping to bring Black Rat in from Calgary and possibly Wrath Bestial from Edmonton, along with local(ish) support from Goathammer, Hexensabbat, Mechanical Seperation and Grimace. I have a bunch of Halloween shit so I can do up the stage and venue to make it extra “spooky” for the show. Plus they have a projector so I can have my 6+ hour nonstop gore mixtape playing in the background. It’s months away but it’s good to get things set in motion.

    BAD:I’m broke as fuck after having to buy back all of my power tools which my sister decided to pawn while I was at MDF. Didn’t notice right away, but then I needed them to fix my bed frame and they had all disappeared. Super not impressed about that.

    UGLY:I had some pretty nasty heart burn yesterday and I keep hearing about how Apple Cider Vinegar is good for that and how it’s so healthy for you and shit, so I decided to take a shot of it. BIG FUCKING MISTAKE. My throat immediately swelled shut (like clamped shut like I was being strangled) and I couldn’t breath for like a minute afterward, all the while feeling like I just wanted to projectile vomit the foul liquid (tasted exactly like the harshest bile you puke up at the end of a puke session) but I couldn’t even do that, nor could I drink anything to chase it. HOW DO PEOPLE DRINK THAT SHIT?????

    • sweetooth0

      yes, figured out this bold text thing!

      • JWEG

        Nice. Every time I think I’ve figured it out my large-fingers-on-a-tiny-android-screen screw it up anyway.

        Fortunately there’s an edit button…

      • Abradolf Lincler

        as someone who has heartburn, i dont know how you got this advice

        • sweetooth0

          From what I’ve been reading, there are two schools of thought on acid reflux, One is to eat stuff like tums and whatnot to bring down the acidity. The other is that you get reflux from not having enough acid in your stomach, so it sloshes more violently and splashes acid where it shouldn’t be going, so by adding acid, it stops doing that. Seems doctors can’t agree on which is correct either. Admittedly I didn’t seem to have heartburn after, but it’s sort of the situation where you have a sliver in one hand, so you hit the other one with a hammer to distract you from the sliver.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            the only thing that has ever helped my heartburn/acid reflux was losing weight nd not drinking. rel simple

          • Not drinking? I don’t know…

            That doesn’t sound scientific to me…

          • Abradolf Lincler
          • more beer

            Not an option..

          • Waynecro

            I find that the vinegar solution works better as a preventive than as a cure. I still pop Tums from time to time, because drinking vinegar after you get heartburn just hurts.

          • Incontinent Gorilla Rodeo

            I dunno why, but anytime I’ve ate Tums or Rolaids for that, I throw it up almost immediately (which resembles wave after wave of sea foam).

          • sweetooth0

            thankfully that hasn’t been an issue, except the time I gave myself alcohol poisoning on my buddies stag camping trip

          • Incontinent Gorilla Rodeo

            How I’ve never ended up with alcohol poisoning I’ll never know. I’ve probably come extremely close more times than I’ll ever know though.

          • more beer

            I have had issues with heartburn my whole life. I have found that Pepcid Complete works better than anything. They have both acid reducer and blocker. They are a little pricey. But well worth it to not have heartburn.

          • sweetooth0

            I’ll have to look into it. I find Zantac seems to work pretty good, but it takes a while to kick in.

          • more beer

            These work instantly.

    • you’re supposed to dissolve some in a big glass of water, homey

      • sweetooth0

        I read about that later, but apparently it still smells like rotten feet and tastes about as good. A full one ounce shot of it straight up was not good. Watched my girlfriend do it like it was nothing though.

        • Señor Jefe El Rosa

          You could be allergic, with your symptoms.

          • sweetooth0

            possibly, although I’ve read the same experience has happened to a lot of other people who thought they might try it. I guess it’s cuz it’s so acidic that it burns your throat and causes it to contract like that.

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            That makes sense too

  • JWEG

    I’m constantly followed on Twitter by bands that must think I’m a Writer-tier Community member. Obviously one way to prove them right (after the fact) would be to get around to writing some stuff this year. We’ll see.

    I’ve been thinking of challenging a few of my indie comic artist followers to do some “Toilet ov Hell Fan Art” (commissions at my expense obviously). I bet that could even make for at least one good looking article.

  • J.R.™

    Good: I am at Disney world for the weekend
    Bad: Quiz and homework due Monday. Guess I wont work as long that day
    Ugly: Fools I’m gonna be so sunburnt it won’t be funny. Just ridiculously red. Lobster tier burnage.

    Enjoy your weekends! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/193d5b16d545020b52cbfe9de57bc47d9ab3c02fe2cc4fa659ef0972f00fbcc0.jpg

  • Oh, I got my first Smrt Phone yesterday. Welcome Tyree to the 21st century (I guess).

    https://teepoo.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/smrt.jpg?w=1050

    • Abradolf Lincler

      what phone

      • An iPoop 6S or something.

        • Abradolf Lincler

          i cant help u nao

          • Figures. My life is full of terrible decisions. #DissapointingAbradolf Lincler

          • Abradolf Lincler

            just kill yourself like me

        • CyberneticOrganism

          Give me your phone number so I can send you useless garbage via texts

    • now you can start filming every live show you go to!! it must be more fun than watching it. otherwise why would everyone else do it?

      • more beer

        Because they want me to kill them. There was a dude at Takke that held his phone up on a selfie stick for their whole set. I go to a lot of shows it drives me nuts. People should learn to live in the moment.

        • it drives me insane. i saw a record amount of filming at the most recent Ghost show (i guess Dads love to reminisce later on or something — I DON’T GET IT)

          • more beer

            I hate the phone. It is a necessary evil. Since I need to conduct my business. I never take it out of my pocket at shows. I have maybe 5 pictures of bands I have seen. I have a couple from Carcass and a couple from King Diamond and that’s it. Where am I supposed to put my beer if my phone is in my hand?

          • I AM PROUD TO CONCUR THAT YOUR PRIORITIES ARE STRAIGHT, HOMIE.

          • more beer

            You better believe it. Watch show drink beer. If anyone wants to get in touch with me they can bring their ass to the show.

        • Incontinent Gorilla Rodeo
          • more beer

            That pretty much sums up my feelings on this issue.

  • Ugly: I saw a co-worker with the word “Juggalo” tattooed along the outside of his forearm in cursive. In cursive. Might as well have gotten one that says “I am a sub-human piece of shit.”

    Good: null (see above)

    Bad: void (ibid)

  • CT-12

    Don’t have much to say, but just wanted to congratulate Joe and this community on 2 years of TOH.

  • Max

    Allow me to add my congratulations to Thrashnkill and his underlings for keeping the TovH going for 2 years now. I really hope it continues. I haven’t contributed that much myself in terms of articles but I really appreciate the outlet to do so – the first I’ve ever had as a “blogger” – when the mood’s occasionally struck me.

    • CyberneticOrganism
      • Abradolf Lincler

        is that a man?

        • Rob M

          youre going to need to be more specific..theres a lot of weirdos in that gif

        • CyberneticOrganism

          The bald one? No.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            which toilet does it use?

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Arrakis has only gender-neutral sand pits.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            goddamn sand wurms will bite a peter off in a hot minute

          • Max

            Urine and faeces are processed in the thigh compartments of the stillsuit.

          • CyberneticOrganism
          • Max

            Have I ever told you, I was actually named after Max Von Sydow? True story. My mother was a fan of that Ingmar Bergman film he did, and his other more general Euro/arty stuff. She did also explain that when he was in Hollywood, he usually got the mad scientist / Gestapo kommandant -type roles. But I didn’t realize any of this until somebody at school pointed out that he’d played Ming The Merciless in Flash Gordon. I considered that a good omen.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Really? That’s cool as hell, MVS is in everything.

      • Max

        May thy knife chip and shatter!

  • Good: since the site’s creation, i have had the pleasure of meeting six of you dorks in real life… and i hope to add more to that list!
    Bad: the most recent shirt design; but it’s a good bad.
    Ugly: the monsters in Doom who use shields. why would a demon require a shield, pray tell?

    • Abradolf Lincler

      parry spam

    • Waynecro

      I hate the shield-wielding Jackals in Halo 5. Fuck those guys.

    • Yeah those shield dudes SUCK. Best way to deal with them is the stun bomb alt fire on the plasma rifle, it stuns them and their shield goes down.

  • Ayreonaut

    Went offroading in my grand and found out my transfer case lost 4 low.. Still made it through the trails in high range. Also blew a radiator. My cheep jeep cherokee blew a fuel line, but it sits most of the time. And then the wranglers power steering pump seized and shattered the pulley and sent the belt flying.. Luckily the pump was under warranty so 30$ for a belt and pulley and I was on my way….
    Oh wait this isn’t the jeep forum… Well anyways, that’s been my week so far, on top of working 45 hours.

    • let’s see… we’re gonna have to replace all four superchargers, brake drums AND calipers, turn signal actuator, inter-cranial pressure monitor, chassis, voltage pump, and all your “It’s a Jeep Thing… You Wouldn’t Understand” stickers. legally i can’t even let you leave with all these problems!

      • Ayreonaut

        You can’t have drums AND calipers silly!
        But seriously… I think I might have a problem

        • i’m still good on the rest tho rite

          • Ayreonaut

            Considering I live in upstate NY the chassis prognosis is not far off

      • Abradolf Lincler

        *intracranial

        • i owe you a lifedebt. how about my firstborn?

          • Abradolf Lincler

            what blood type

          • acid

          • more beer

            As long as it’s Lysergic Acid Diethylamide. I approve.

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        He’ll also need a new Johnson rod

  • CyberneticOrganism

    GOOD: Two years of the toilet! I’ve enjoyed watching other certain blogs go to clickbait hell while we continue to overflow (in a good way).

    BAD: Bought a looper pedal on impulse and it’s stupid and dumb and now I’m trying to sell it but nobody wants it.

    UGLY: My goddamned disgusting neighbors.

    http://67.media.tumblr.com/835d78bc2ac0bb613c3503836c0c70f5/tumblr_nj7uvfJiqQ1tacyaio1_540.gif

  • Ayreonaut

    I found my post from the second article ever!!!!
    Looks like I had a different yet still jeep related avatar haha. You’ve really done something here man, this site rocks.

  • Señor Jefe El Rosa

    GOOD: THAT TOILET SHIRT THAT I’LL BE GETTING!!!!

  • Old Man Doom

    Good: My guitar refinish project is going very well. Giving my old Schecter a dark stain finish, instead of its original flat black, and completely new hardware. It’s gonna be my new funeral doom machine. Also, Paradise Gallows >>>>>>
    Bad: Not much, my dudes.
    Ugly: Me liking the new Whitechapel because of the clean vocals. Some strange feels.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaDDooVSKdM

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Pics?

      • Old Man Doom

        Definitely very blotchy, especially because of how dark the first stain is, but I can tell that the pre-conditioner helped a bit. Not worried about the blotchiness honestly, because I’m imagining this guitar as a kind of nasty looking doom machine that’s been underwater for aeons. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b8ee852c64d446be9ac54afe678d96daf44fd773e050c1d316cb5df347e22d02.jpg

        • Señor Jefe El Rosa

          SICK!!!!!!!!!

        • Old Man Doom

          Final coat will be gunstock Tru Oil (on the neck too) to preserve the wood better and give a smoother feel than glossy polyurethane.

        • i love this type of stuff! bodywork can be fun if you know what you’re doing (many don’t). some day i want to make a custom paint jab for a jabroni, as i’m not a guitar player

        • CyberneticOrganism

          Call the finish “Mariana Murk”

  • 420 comments, woohoo!
    wanted to say, once again, thanks to everybody who engages in these Disqus-ions. i truly believe this site flourishes because of reader[/commenter] interaction. this portion of the heavy metal blogosphere is like a live show: the performance feeds upon the energy of the crowd, and vice-versa. so good on all y’all for being active members in here!!

    • Abradolf Lincler

      so meta, bro

    • more beer

      Dammit I wouldn’t have responded to Boss had I seen the comment count first. Since I am one of the biggest stoners here. Man you are so right. The community here is the best on the internet.

  • Ted Nü-Djent ™
  • Eliza

    It hasn’t even been a year since I’ve started commenting on the Toilet, but I have grown to be very fond of this place. Please never go away!

  • Hans Müller

    This is a fantastic community and I look forward to reading the comments every day. Love y’all! *smooch*

    Good: Inquisition and Massacre shirts finally arrived about a month after ordering. Also found a cool store for grind merch.

    Bad: Most shirts in said store are only avaolable in S. Boo!

    Ugly: This Sepultura shirt. I’d like one with the old logo but would prefer if it wasn’t designed by a complete oaf.

    http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/MTYwMFgxNjAw/z/PgEAAOSwHnFVxEil/$_3.JPG