I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it’s colder than shit outside. This is unacceptable.
I live in Texas. There is an implicit agreement between me and the state that I will endure 9 months of inhumane heat and swamp ass in exchange for a very mild winter. Something has gone horribly wrong. It is currently 25 degrees Fahrenheit in Austin and I’m not sure if this city will survive the night. There are a whole bunch of animals in my living room that don’t understand why the Sky God is punishing them for trying to poop outside. Frankly, this is tyranny, and the freezing cold goes against all of my deeply-held Libertarian principles.
While I burn my belongings in a trash can to stay warm, you guys are free to talk amongst yourselves in the comments. As always, thank you for your continued support of this particular e-Toilet. We’ll see you tomorrow.