Flush It Friday: Halloween Edition

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It’s Halloween weekend, the zenith of the entire year. Get in here and show off your terrible costume.

First off, go ahead & play this:

And now prepare yourself for All Hallow’s Eve, the night when even the most buttoned-down middle-aged dentist can let loose and don ridiculous fishnets for a Dr. Frank N Furter costume, or something more even more elaborate. The night when metalheads of all ages will try, at least once, to assemble their best corpse paint & spikes costume in the hopes of freaking out the squares with their knowledge of all things kvlt (hint: it won’t work and everyone will think you’re Alice Cooper or Gene Simmons). The night when even the crappiest, lowest budget horror movies become brilliant gospel and everything seems right in the world, if only for a brief, bloody moment.

As per our usual custom, here is your weekly opportunity to gripe with your fellow flushketeers. Tell us the good, the bad and ugly of the last 7 days. And while you’re at it, fee free to share your Halloween costume from this or past years and the story behind them.

To help get you started and/or give you some what-has-been-seen-cannot-be-unseen nightmares, here’s a smattering of TovH authors in our October best.

Dubya

Dubya_JackInBox_trimmed

“This Papier-mâché Jack in the Box head is probably my crowning Halloween achievement. I just wish I had been a little more careful when cutting the eye-holes because I honestly couldn’t see anything while wearing it. I also had to drink beer through a straw, which was weird.”

Papa Joe

Joe_DavidStH

“I was an idiot when I was 19, just like everyone else. Also, David St. Hubbins is by far the least fun costume in Spinal Tap.”

Cyborg

Cyborg_Pestilence_small

“You can’t see it here but the cloak covers stilts that make me just under 8 ft tall, and that’s a full-head silicone mask that moves with my face. I can’t eat anything, I have to drink through a straw and the mask is 200 degrees inside, but the reactions I get are well worth it.”

Ron Deuce

RonDeuce_whitetrash

“Dressing up as white trash for Halloween is very easy if you’re caucasian. The formula is simple: just add trash. Within mere moments of donning this costume, I was miraculously transformed into your standard mobile home/meth lab owner. The Curl of The Burl beard was not part of the original costume, it was later commandeered from another attendee at the party I was at.”

Randall Thor

Tommy_Guido

“I’ve been a guido twice.”

Dagon

Dagon_nude_small

“Speedos + fanny packs + white dad sneakers is a win. Not pictured: sneakers, decency.”

 Nina Osegueda

Nina_HarleyQ_small

“Last year’s epic Halloween: our producer (Kevin Gutierrez) as Dr. Rockzo, my guitarist as a Jedi, me as Harley and my bass player drunk in a kilt.”

Jimmy McNulty

DustinFrench_Abbath_small

“This is me trying to be Abbath but only giving myself one day to make the costume! D’oh, so much potential wasted. Turns out nobody knows who Abbath is and everyone thought I was Ace Frehley.”

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, FLUSHERS

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  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain
    • CyberneticOrganism

      Ha ha ha ha Dong Bong

  • KJM, Shake Zula

    NERDS!! ^_^

  • GOOD: Halloween is obviously tomorrow and I met by goal of 3 weeks of no alcohol consumption; so tomorrow I’ll treat myself to some fine brew for Halloween. I’ll take beer recommendations?

    BAD: Breaking my streak of not drinking booze.

    UGLY: Drinking booze for the first time in 3 weeks.

    • That Dogfish Punkin is p dang good.

      • I shall seek it and destroy it, by drinking it.

      • BEARD-SPLITTER

        Agreed.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Jawjacker pumpkin beer is damn good; pale, dry and lacking in fake Blue Moon-esque spice.

      • BEARD-SPLITTER

        Agree on this one too.

      • Yes, I like the name.

    • BEARD-SPLITTER

      Ive had two Siera Nevada ltd ed seasonals today (they just built a beautiful new brewery in town). I doubt you can find it up there but, if you can, Highlands Clawhammer is a dope oktoberfest seasonal still out.

      Currently on a Samuel Smiths Organic Chocolate Stout

      • Oh, that Samuel Smiths sounds good. I have that here.

        • more beer

          I had a couple of really good stouts in Black Sky Brewery last night. after King Diamond.I can`t remember the name of it though.

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        Samuel Smith Oatmeal Stout is dope. All their stouts are really.

      • Lacertilian

        Did you Northern-types get the Southern Hemisphere Hop Harvest ones they had a while back?

        • BEARD-SPLITTER

          I got one not long ago

          • Lacertilian

            I had one of the left over Hop-Hunters from my 31st with my dinner last night, was good but does not compare to those harvest ales. Really jealous of the brewery opening near you!
            Because you’re not on the FB group I’ll post a pic here, was beef-rogan josh w/ jasmine rice.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Id make sex to that

          • Lacertilian

            The coriander stings, I uhhh… read it online.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER
          • Lacertilian
          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Yes.

          • Lacertilian

            Hard Copy appreciates your participation in this 1992 survey.

          • I can’t wait to have a beer. Another hour and it’s beer drinking time.

          • Lacertilian

            You’ve done really well. Are you going out or just going to chuck on some records as per usual?

          • I’m going over to a buddy of mines place for horror movies and beer.

          • Lacertilian

            Enjoy those hops, I’m going to have a lunch beer now.
            Well, I say lunch beer but I can’t be fucked making the lunch part.

    • Dude, high five for going 3 weeks!

    • nbm02ss

      Dunno what the availability will be in your area, but this was a pretty tasty Pumpkin Ale, and I’m generally luke warm towards pumpkin beers:

      http://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/1416/72838/

    • Crap, can’t remember the name of the Pumpkin ale I’ve been drinking, something Hog is the name of the company. 7% and it tastes like liquid Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
      EDIT: Whole Hog is the name. Comes in a 4 pack.

    • kudos on that booze-free period! i’m sure it wasn’t easy, but you had plenty of black ‘n white merol to help you along

    • COAL ROLL

      Makes my night look like fun eh?

      • WOAH! Brooooootal.

  • KJM, Shake Zula
  • ME GORAK B.C.™

    GOOD: GORAK FIND WAY AROUND ANIME BAN WITH KING OV HILL

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B-5geA6U8AAdHtY.jpg

    • Mvthvr Shvbvbv 8

      Anime flood gates are creaking open…must not post undank memes…

      • Maik Beninton™

        I don’t know man, this is dank as fuck.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPXKfGxeHIY

        • Based Potoo

          Nope. This is cancerous as fuck.

          • Maik Beninton™

            Yes smoke weed every day gives you cancer.

          • Based Potoo

            Anime also gives you cancer. And AIDS. And Ebola. And Ealaria. And The Black Death.

          • Maik Beninton™

            Considering how much anime has been sharing in these parts you must be in danger.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            We all are.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Speaking of which, I don’t see the worst offender of all here at the moment.

          • Maik Beninton™

            Who?

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            KJU or wahtever he’s calling himself today.

          • Maik Beninton™

            Yeah, he is usually late for the game, and his name as of now is Oily Kung Fu something.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Yeah, had to replace my laptop. Otherwise I’d be all up in you guys like Rosie O’Donnel’s week old tampon.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot
          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Finland gives you an erection lasting more than 4 hours.

          • more beer

            You sir are wrong about that.

          • Maik Beninton™

            Sorry, but there is scientific proof that weed is deadlier than cigarettes.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            O.o

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            You read it on the internet so it must be true, right?

          • Maik Beninton™

            I read it on a book, check your privileges.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Nah, I’m logged in as Administrator. I’m good.

            Do you actually KNOW anyone who has dealt with Cancer? I have. You don’t want to play this game with me.

          • Maik Beninton™

            My grandgrandfather, who died of prostate cancer, though I don’t know if he ever smoked anything.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            I hate to break it to you, man. Whatever propaganda you have read is lying to you. Perpetrated by right wing interests, the tobacco companies, pharmaceutical companies and the like.

            Why do you think medical marijuana exists

          • more beer

            You sir are correct.

          • Maik Beninton™

            I read that book on high school, there is no propaganda of that sort here, only don’t do drugs.

          • more beer

            That is propaganda.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            I’m amazed this hasn’t come up in the argument yet:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esfKfTBGadg

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            No propaganda in a schoolbook? Umm…

          • Maik Beninton™

            It wasn’t right wing BS or whatever, that’s what I’m trying to say here.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I’ll take direct 1st person life experience over a book any day. Besides schoolbooks are big time propaganda, especially in The US.

          • Maik Beninton™

            I know for a fact that I’m pretty ingenuous, and I was never a good reader,but as far as I remember most of our books in school leaned more towards literature than propaganda, specially on the exam to enter college, the stuff that you have to read for that is all old books from historical writers.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Get rid of all schoolbooks and replace them with the one true book of divine knowledge.

            http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51FKa41ZciL._SX369_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Books are cool, but they don’t replace experience.

          • JamesGrimm

            well, im not going to jump off a bridge to see how i die. ill take corpses at the bottoms word for it…

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I don’t need to stick my hand in lava to know that it’s hot. Yes, I get that.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            You realise that is, by definition, propaganda

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            This makes me feel like smoking another bowl. I’m going Chiefing Las Vegas.

          • more beer

            You would have to smoke the equivalent of about a ton of weed in an hour or something like that to od on weed.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot
          • more beer

            This I would gladly take up the challenge.

          • JamesGrimm

            trading one negative thing for another.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            A friend of mine passed from Cancer 4 years ago. The only reason he wasn’t constantly puking from chemo and was gaining weight unlike the other patients is because of pot. It’s also the only reason he was able to avoid nerve pains and play with his band only 2 months or so before he passed.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Oh no, we have to give cancer patients safer alternatives, like morphine! You know how many people I’ve seen die from marijuana?!?! It’s horror, I tells ya! I was a POW in a marijuana camp…………….

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            He was taking morphine after a while. We partied together a few times before the pain was too much and he couldn’t spare anymore of it.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Yeah, same with my uncle. His pain got to the point where he was hallucinating after a while (that and his body being mostly deteriorated, his mind most likely included). He kept talking about seeing Spider Man crawling out of the TV trying to kill him.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Mike remained relatively sane and coherent, fortunately.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            My grandfather had leukemia (died of a heart attack), but that was almost 20 years ago, before the benefits of weed for cancer patients was really even heard of. Not sure about my uncle, who died of colon cancer, but I know he drank like a motherfucker for damn near 30 years before he quit. Pretty sure he smoked weed and did other things somewhere in there.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            You are wrong.

          • Karnov
          • more beer

            On one of those prohibitionist web sites. Because they are all so truthful.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot
          • more beer

            There is scientific proof that Marijuana is useful in fighting certain cancers.

          • more beer

            You should do some research on cannabinoids and strains high in cbd`s. Or read up on Dr. Alan Shakleford. Who is one of the leading mmj doctors in the world and Harvard educated, I think he would beg to differ on whatever book you read.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER
          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            God help us all, Nancy Grace has finally spread to Brazil……….

            http://crabdiving.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Nancy-Grace-weed-violence.jpg

          • more beer

            She needs to just go away. Biggest fear monger ever.

    • nbm02ss
    • nbm02ss

      That display isn’t wrong.

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      Goran plz! Anime is worse than the Devils Lettuce!

      • ME GORAK B.C.™

        ME NOT GORAN!!!!!! GORAN DICK!!!!!!! GORAK SMASH GORAN!!!!!!!!!

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      That doesn’t count as Anime.

      • Maik Beninton™

        Yes it is, why it would be there anyway?

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          Because the person stocking the shelves doesn’t know their ass from a hole in the ground? Just a thought.

          Western animation does not count as Anime.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            In fact, expressively opposites

          • Maik Beninton™

            Even if it looks like anime.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Just because it’s animated doesn’t mean it’s Anime. Aqua Teen Hunger Force isn’t Anime.

          • Maik Beninton™

            Aqua Teen Hunger Force doesn’t have the style of drawing like anime, only time I saw that was on the intro of the last season.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            One of the biggest differences between japanese and western cartoons is the style of drawing

          • Maik Beninton™

            Yeah, but you see the case of Avatar, it has the style of drawing, but people doesn’t consider anime because is not from Japan.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            You could say the same thing about an american film like Kill Bill

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Avatar was simply pure stereotypical Cameron bullshit with world class special effects. They could’ve just shortened that down to a 45 minute music video, put some Bjork on the soundtrack and called it a day.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Saw it once, have no desire to see it again.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Same. Those special effects could’ve been used for something so much better, like Master Of Disguise 2, or Like Mike 2.

          • Maik Beninton™

            I am talking about The Last Airbender.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Actually, wrong. Rare, but there are exceptions. Spirited Away was also done here in America, though by an anime artist. People would be idiots to NOT notice how much Disney has borrowed from anime for the last 15 years.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvJM0p8EVrg

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Yeah, but stuff like King Of The Hill and Aqua Teen doesn’t count as Anime. That’s really what I meant.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Yep, it doesn’t. Aqua Teen is (was, rather, now that it’s gone) a breed all it’s own. Next up, someone’s gonna say Super Jail, Squidbillies and Frisky Dingo are anime.

          • But not Sealab. Never Sealab.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Crap screamer!!!!!!

          • A penny’ll start a fire.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Sorry to interrupt your ham and liquor hootenanny.

          • That buffet is crawlin with . . . giardia.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            It’s crawling with Giada?

            http://ace.mu.nu/archives/giada.jpg

      • ME GORAK B.C.™
    • Lacertilian

      Yeah @joethrashnkill:disqus, it’s GL.

      • I never would have thought in a million years that anyone would believe me to be Gorak, lol.

        • ME GORAK B.C.™

          GORAK AM CAVEMAN WITH NO IDENTITY OV OWN!!!!!!
          : (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

      Mike Judge went from Beavis And Butthead to that dry hunk of stool. Thankfully he made up for it with Idiocracy.

  • Mvthvr Shvbvbv 8

    GOOD: New Puscifer, Frontierer, Killing Joke, and Shining all in one week. My body was not ready and my dick was thoroughly crvshed. My mother got a new job and can finally leave the one that was stressing her the fuck out. New skate machine is in so I don’t have to deal with as many dumb questions from rubes.

    BAD: I really, really want to write my idea for a comic/show based of dreams/nightmares, but I have zero clue how to go about it. Anyone have advice on how to stop procrastination, and how to map out characters/backgrounds/concepts to help me make a more coherent story?

    UGLY: I work on Halloween night. Not that it matters, as I wouldn’t be going out anyways because all my friends are living in other states or are dead. I’m going to die miserable and alone, aren’t I?

    • My advice for your procrastination: Get up and do something about it. It’s much easier to be lazy. Trust me, I’m the king.

      • Mvthvr Shvbvbv 8

        I think it was Henry Winkler who said it, but if supposedly if you write a bit each day, it’s much easier to avoid procrastination.

        • This sounds so so lame, but I found an analogy that helped me out a lot. If you think of yourself as a video game character, maybe a Sim, or an RPG, then start thinking of all the stuff you want your character to do, it can help you get off the couch. It helps me a lot when I have extra free time

          • Paradoxically, as my STR increases, my CHR drops : (

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Saving throw? No chance.

            You crit and still die

          • I’m swimming in CHR right now, wanna ask the DM if we can trade a couple points?

          • *visits Dunwich building

          • Mvthvr Shvbvbv 8

            What comes first: the story outline or the character’s bios? Figure the characters come first so I’ll know how to shape the story around them better.

        • I guess doing it little by little can help you along.

        • Waynecro

          In his book On Writing, Stephen King recommends writing ten pages per day, no matter what. This is much easier to accomplish when somehow intoxicated.

          • Shit, I usually tap out at 3. I have eczema.

          • Waynecro

            I’ve had difficulty with writing that many pages since I quit drinking.

          • I never (read: rarely) drink while writing so I can only assume that nightly nightcaps clear all the dead debris in my brain to make way for the creative deluge the next morning . . . I am a licensed Medical Practitioner in Mexico, Venezuela and Paraguay.

            The worst thing for writing is WOMEN. I’ve never written less in my adult life than I have since I hooked up with the Richterfrau.

          • Waynecro

            I used to stay up drinking and writing most nights. These days, I’m lucky if I write once a week. Of course, my job as an editor doesn’t help. I’m done with writing by the end of the work day. Dude, women are the worst for lots of things, I recently discovered.

          • You were a regular Bukowski. Nice.

            Yeah, if I get in one good day a week, usually on a weekend morning, it is miraculous.

          • Waynecro

            I certainly drank like Bukowski did, and he’s one of my favorite authors. Keep writing whenever you have time, man. Slow and steady. All progress is good progress.

          • Thanks, I shall. Sometimes I wonder: Why bother? Then I remember: I’m not dead yet.

          • Waynecro

            I totally get that, man. I just want to finish all the stuff I started before I die.

          • Well said. I’ve got . . . shit, I guess 3 books in various states of non-completion right now, and if I finish even one of them I will be content to ENTER THE VOID.

          • Waynecro

            Me too. Lots of stories and songs to finish.

        • I would also add that if you are writing something, know how it is going to end before you start otherwise you could wind up writing yourself in circles.

          • Waynecro

            Indeed! The thoroughness of an outline should increase with the complexity of the story you’re trying to tell. If you have lots of details and twists, keep track of that shit right from the beginning.

          • Mvthvr Shvbvbv 8

            AH this could be why I have had to redo the entire thing/concept a few times over the last two years. Good advice!

    • Waynecro

      Creating a pitch or a book with character profiles, plot lines, etc. can help: http://www.thesouthernbranch.com/digital-pitch.html. Just sit down and bang that shit out however you can and organize it into something coherent–something anyone could read and “get.”

    • BEARD-SPLITTER

      Uff

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Øøf

  • Jimmy’s costume ftw.

  • Bad: I fell asleep on my couch last week and my neck is fucked up as a result.
    Good: My wife is a massage therapist and she’s been trying to fix me up. I’m slowly improving and hoping two days of not sitting in front of a computer will help.
    Ugly: Me as white trash

  • Herr Schmitty

    Good: Went to a burlesque show last night, it was pretty awesome! It ended up functioning as more of a ‘variety’ show than true Burlesque, but there were some great acts (and a couple of bad ones) and it was a pretty good time on the whole.

    Bad: Was given a surprise road trip to our sister office late in the day yesterday by one of my bosses. Instead of an 8 hour workday, I worked 11. Not the worst thing ever, but I was displeased… especially since it made me a little late to the burlesque show.

    Ugly: When the GF and I got to our car this morning, we found that some repugnant fuck had hawked a loogie on the passenger-side window. A real nasty, phlegmy fucking loogie. There was a trash can right next to the car. There’s no way it was an unintentional miss. Fuck humans. Had to scrape it off at the gas station, it had hardened on the window.

    If I see anybody in my city spitting on cars, they’ll be treated like a victim in a Tyree-approved horror flick.

  • Brock Samson

    Don’t worry Jimmy, your Abbath was way better then mine when I was 18

    • I know someone who could have lent him some spikes.

  • Good: Killed two deadlines (well, 95% of this week’s deadline) in two weeks, COO really likes me now, and I think he’s pretty rad too. We’ve become super casual now which is nice. Really can see myself fitting in at this company, just need to push for a few more vacation days….Tomorrow is my first day with no responsibilities in probably like 2 weeks. I am dead. I cannot wait to do nothing

    Bad: No one really came to the turdcutter show last night. Thursday nights I guess. Whatever, we had fun.

    Ugly: I have to perform as Venom tonight and I still don’t know the words to Black Metal

    • Venom Cover! Fuck yeah duders!

      • I got two really young inexperienced dudes who asked me to do it and everyone who knows them expects us to suck. They don’t know I’m working with them and that I’ve whipped them into shape. Should be pretty good. We’re doing Countess Bathory, In League with Satan, and Black Metal

    • Just start: “this is… huh… wow”… And then just fill every word with “ÄRAaAääääÄääääÄÁaRARARARA”

      • BLACK IS THE NIGHT, METAL TONIGHT, POWER AMPS SET TO EXPLODE

        SATAN IS RIGHT, METAL TONIGHT, BRAINS DEAD HELL SODOM SEX

        PANTS ARE SO TIGHT, METAL TONIGHT, POWER NUCLEAR FORCE

        SATAN HAS MIGHT, METAL TONIGHT, PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE’S THE CURE

        FOR BLACK METAL

        • Mvthvr Shvbvbv 8

          ROCK ‘N ROLL
          SEX ‘N JESUS
          BLVCK METAL

    • Just say Satan repeatedly.

    • Also here is my costume for work today

    • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

      from what i can gather you just scream the words black metal over and over and mumble other non significant things in between…

    • Boss the Ross

      Lay down your souls to the gods rock and roll!

  • This is too much win in just one post.

    ~

    GOOD: Music, Toilet, Pooping, Family.

    BAD: Anxiety attacks are getting weird, not having enough money right now to get a psychologist therapy due the wedding plans and Venezuela, public transport, malandros are terrorizing near my neighborhood.

    UGLY: Maduro raised the salaries once again and that means that everything is going to be raised because inflation. Also, in my work the human resources office paid the christmas bonus today so they don’t have to pay it calculated with the new salary, because the new salary will be activated in novembre 1st.

    NERD CRAP OF MY WEEK: I learnt to play Magic: The Gathering by myself this week and I won a lot of matches on the internetz.

    MY LAST JAM OF THIS FRIDAY: Carnage – Self Dissection (Thanks again to Gurp):

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FY7S54KdqAw

    • BEARD-SPLITTER

      My old lady plays MTG, its been discussed before that i quit a long time ago.

      Have you played hearthstone? If you do, hit me up on battle.net

      • It was very fun. I made my first deck by my own with green mana and elves and a fat rock golem. Wouldplayagain/10.

        I always wanted to play HS, but sadly I can’t because my PC isn’t powerful enough to run that game :/

        • it is ADDICTING.

          i had to stop, was spending too much time with it

          • I have a friend that plays that game and said the same. It’s very simple, but the card winning is addictive.

      • Herr Schmitty

        What’s your Bnet tag?

        • BEARD-SPLITTER

          Managarmr#1863

          • Herr Schmitty

            Awesome. Mine’s SMIS0041, and I’m terrible at HS.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Hit me up and we can play a couple rounds, im not much better than a casul

    • Boss the Ross

      Did you learn the metal edition?

      • I was playing a folk merol deck because Green Mana, jajaja!

  • CyberneticOrganism

    A closer look at the mask

    • DAAAAAANG DUDE

    • I know a guy that can help with that underbite, bro.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Thanks bruh, should have given more thought to ripping away my chin & throat flesh.

    • did you make this? can we get some deets? it’s the best thing i’ve seen all year

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Thanks man, didn’t make it, though I wish I had the talent to

        • *quickly changes topic
          the creature in your animated GIF above reminds me of the swamp people from Fury Road!

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Same. They use the same kinda hand stilts I believe.

    • Boss the Ross

      That is… exquisite.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Thanks man

    • This has to be the coolest fucking thing I have ever seen, Robot. That is all I can say!

      GL

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Many thanks, it’s no picnic to have on for hours at a time but getting the entire costume together is a blast

    • Óðinn

      Dude’s horny.

  • Dave Vincent’s Perm

    Bad: the friend I was gonna go to Leeds with got a stomach virus and bailed.

    Good: I’m not the one with a stomach virus, going to a Halloween party with Aaron motherfucking Stainthorpe, fucking Angelcorpse are getting back together

    • Wooo! Cool, David Vincent’s Penis! Enjoy.

      Say to Aaron that he have plenty of toiletters here that likes his music! 😉

      • Dave Vincent’s Perm

        I will. Still not sure whether I’m gonna go as Dead or pre-prison Varg though.

        • Your perm will help you more with the Varg look.

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            Yeah I’ll have to straighten my hair, but I already have army boots so I’ll just need a bullet belt and possibly some gauntlets and I’ll be set.

  • nbm02ss

    Good: Off work in an hour! Beer run!

    Bad: I’ve got a lot of shit to do tomorrow that isn’t Halloween related, but I should have it all done by the afternoon.

    Ugly: The impending bowel movements I’ll have Sunday when I wake up.

  • EsusMoose

    Good: Saw Yob, Jex Thoth, Tribulation, Deafheaven and Black Cobra. Halloween implies rapid drinking. Binding of Isaac’s dlc came out and it’s good.
    Bad: Neck is killing me, stressed again so I only got a few days of reprieve.

    Ugly: My hair after head banging all last night, having shitty medium length hair means it poofs up and I look like a twat.

    • Girl you gotta get a good conditioner and get them tangles out

    • Did you get to see Jex Thoth’s armrpits?

      • EsusMoose

        Yes, FishGod would be torqued

    • gotta get over that awkward stage of hair growth, bruv. once you do life is gud

      • EsusMoose

        I’m gonna chop it off so I look like a young professional instead of a bum

    • Boss the Ross

      That is an excellent group of bands right there.

      • EsusMoose

        It was a good group of shows, been a drought of shows so this week was a welcomed surprise.

        • Boss the Ross

          Same here, it has been a while since the last show i went to and this month had a good number of some of my favorites coming through town.

          • EsusMoose

            I got intronaut coming through for the first time, I need to get tickets as I missed out on Baroness already whose tickets sold out immediately

          • Boss the Ross

            Both of them are will be in my neck of the woods later this year. Definitely going to try and catch them.

          • EsusMoose

            I’d try to get tickets to Baroness asap, I talked to a guy last night that said they’ve purposefully been playing smaller venues for this tour. Take it with a grain of salt as I don’t know how reliable a random guy is but I’m still bummed I’m missing them.

          • Boss the Ross

            Thanks for the heads up.

          • Boss the Ross

            Holy shit, i went to the venue site to check on tickets, the show is already sold out! Daaaammmnnnnn.

          • EsusMoose

            Sorry to be the harbinger of bad news man, you can now join the club of people who are pissed that they picked small ass venues

          • Boss the Ross

            Oh, well. At least we have a new album coming our way. I’m pretty stoked about it. Chlorine and Wine is a killer track. What are your thoughts on it?

          • EsusMoose

            It was alright, I haven’t given it too much attention to it so I can’t say for certain.

          • Boss the Ross

            Right on, right on

  • Zeke

    Good: getting married this weekend
    Bad: living with a non-metalhead girl makes it more difficult to blast burzum while eating dinner
    Ugly: the look I give her when I’m listening to burzum and she asks me to turn off my stupid “death metal”

    • Congratulations on getting married!

    • Congrats, Zeke!!!

    • Damn. I ordered Filosofem on vinyl last night. Stoked to finally own that one.

      • Zeke

        Filosofem- that’s some top level Norwegian death metal!

      • RJA

        It’s a must own – years ago I found a copy and paid like 35 bucks for it. Seemed like a lot at the time but had to have it.

        • Zeke

          I had the digipack for years. It came with a really nice book, but my friend “borrowed” it permanently

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Congrats dude!

    • J.R.™

      Right in there with you man (minus the impending wedding). Congrats!

    • Boss the Ross

      Congratulations! Welcome to the club… of wives not understanding your music. I tried explaining early Cannibal Corpse lyrics to my wife once. ONCE.

      • Zeke

        I’ve actually devised a game that lets me trick her into listening metal. I play something and she has to guess whether it’s black or death

        • Boss the Ross

          Ha, freaking awesome!
          My wife is cool about it though, she just likes the more melodic side of metal. She’s into power metal and bands like Clutch, later Mastodon, Kyuss, The Sword, etc.

          • Zeke

            She can tolerate metal with singing (Danzig, Metallica, etc);it’s the screaming/growling that bugs her

          • Boss the Ross

            That sounds about right.

      • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

        Pretty sure the conversation ended at explaining “Stripped, Raped, And Strangled”. Kinda has a way of scaring women off.

        • Boss the Ross

          It’s scary how close to the truth you actually are… no pan throwing or cop calling though.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Sleep on the couch for the next few months with the bedroom door locked?

          • Boss the Ross

            Not quite that bad. But let’s just say i haven’t brought cannibal corpse up in a conversation for quite some time.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            That’s why you keep to more subtle bands like Pissgrave!

    • COAL ROLL

      Nice to know ya bro!

    • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

      That’s why you crank the power metal instead. 😉
      Congrats, btw!

    • Óðinn

      Do you get pissed that she calls Burzum “death metal”?

      “DAMNIT! I’VE TOLD YOU LIKE A MILLION TIMES, BURZUM IS BLACK METAL, BL-ACK ME-TAL! GAWD!” *plugs in Sennheiser noise cancelling headphones angrily, thinks about Satan*

      • Zeke

        Yes, it’s very frustrating

        • Óðinn

          I understand your pain.

  • J.R.™

    I’m going as a guy that had a job interview today. Interestingly, girlfriend was offered a job today before they even interviewed her. Very atypical.
    Good: ^^^^^
    Bad: really don’t want to see this new Paranormal Activity. But. Women. And it’s the last one so I’m finally free.
    Ugly: Jesus Christ in a costume Dagon I was showing off this funny Toilet article to an uninitiated pleb friend and your naked carapace scared him off. Bruh. Call me tho xoxo

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Dagone Wild

      • Mvthvr Shvbvbv 8

        Keep calm and Dagon.

        Ugh…I hate myself.

    • That’s our Dagon <3

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        Almost as sexy as the Peach Fuzz mask.

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      At least the ex was always willing to wait for home video on the PA movies, could’ve been worse.

    • Hahahah you believe it will be the last one? That franchise is like Motley Crue: it will never ever stop, even if we all beg it to.

      • J.R.™

        yeah we didnt go see it. Tried watching Human Centipede 3 but lady couldnt get through it, which was fine because it was stupid. 2>1>>>>>>3

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    I was Hannah Montana for Halloween the last time I dressed up.

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      Pics or it didn’t happen.

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        I was in 8th grade. The photos are somewhere in my house.

  • Scrimm

    Good: Nothing. Fuck today.
    Bad: Went to the record store today with a pretty sizable list, a large part of which cam out today on labels that the store ALWAYS gets on release day. Complete fucking strike out. Few things upset me more.
    Ugly: MFW after the above.

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      : (

    • bandcamp was stocked =P

      • Scrimm

        AAAHAHAHAHA….HA……….no

    • Boss the Ross

      Damn, Scrimm is grim today.

      With good reason though. One of my local record stores hardly ever has new releases the day of release. I’ll ask about them and they say “we’ll put the order in in a few days, should be about two weeks”. Pisses me the hell off.

      • Scrimm

        Yeah there’s some labels they get a few weeks late. Was really looking forward to today, took a giant shit on my week.

        • Boss the Ross

          Sorry to hear that man.

  • Waynecro

    Good: Having a bunch of problematic trees removed from my property cost only $1,200.
    Bad: Either PayPal or Bandcamp is shitting the bed. I tried to buy the new Cryptopsy and the Sielunvihollinen album that Tyree got me all stoked about, but the transactions failed. PayPal still showed that I paid for the albums, but Bandcamp gave me no albums. I had to contact Bandcamp and PayPal support to get the charges removed. The Bandcamp representative blames PayPal. Neither company can tell me when I’ll be able to purchase music again. I need those jams for tonight’s lifting session, goddamnit.
    Ugly: Some of my distant relatives in Maryland. Good god, man. My uncle’s wake looked like a support group for people who’ve been arrested on the show Cops. I had no idea that a large part of Maryland consists of nothing but rednecks who still live in the 1940s and survive on cigarettes, alcohol, and meth resin.

    • BEARD-SPLITTER

      Thats a pretty steady diet, bro

      • Waynecro

        I used to live on booze and cigarettes myself, but that didn’t turn out very well. Plus, no gainz.

    • Pagliacci is Kvlt

      In Soviet Trees’nshitistan, problematic trees remove YOU.

      • Waynecro

        I was just going to go nuts with a machete on those fucking trees, but they were too tall. The neighbors’ house doesn’t move out of the way when you scream “Timber!”

  • Good, Bad, and the Ugly: Watching Atlantic Rim after [spiritually] lifting with Waynecro tonight!
    http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/61ouwET31ZL._SX200_QL80_.jpg

    • Waynecro

      Hell yeah, dude! Lift hard as a motherfucker! You could always try some blood-derived protein powder, which is appropriately spooky.

      • may our respective gyms be overflowing with sexy silent hill nurses

        • Waynecro

          Thank you, but I work out in the garage at my house. If I see Silent Hill nurses in there, I have a lot to worry about. At best, I lifted too much and gave myself an aneurysm or something; at worst, those nurses are actually there. My gym overflows with nothing but my rage (and a bunch of paint containers the renovation crew left behind). Good luck with gym ladies, though.

          • hahaha, old painty can Waynecro!
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=We7BSk_HbRE

          • Waynecro

            Well, those damn paint cans wouldn’t still be in there if getting rid of them was easier. You can’t just throw paint cans away. You have to make an appointment with waste management and then take the things to a facility somewhere. Fuck that shit. I have less important things to do.

          • you can’t pour them in the neighbors garden like i do when i change my oil?

          • Waynecro

            I could just throw them away. I mean, I don’t give a fuck about the planet. I’m getting to the point at which steep fines are the only things deterring me from throwing away old insulin syringes and toxic chemicals. The world’s going to burn anyway; I might as well add an accelerant.

    • Boss the Ross

      Jimmy, at least you got Ace Frehley, the year i did Abbath i got called gene simmons all night.

  • Pagliacci is Kvlt

    @dagon

  • Boss the Ross

    Good – Clutch. Clutch is good. The only thing better than Clutch is Clutch live. And they kicked major ass last night.
    Bad – I no longer have the Clutch show to look forward to (but i do have BLIND GUARDIAN) and have to wait until their next tour.
    Ugly – Me this morning after getting 4 hours of sleep Wednesday night and only about 5 after the show last night. Totally worth it though.

  • COAL ROLL

    Good: seeing more new disqus names come here this week from over there.
    Bad: my dryer keeps blowing my whole houses main fuse
    Ugly: dealing with contractors to fix it

  • KJM, Shake Zula
  • KJM, Shake Zula

    I’m sure The Great Pumpkin will come here. It’s the most sincere place on the web.

  • KJM, Shake Zula

    “I got 5 pieces of candy!”
    “I got some chocolate!”
    “I got a quarter!”

    “I got a rock.”

  • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

    The Good: New laptop, and pretty chill week. Went in for my last check, and my boss was actually fucking stupid enough to ask me why I didn’t call him to tell him I quit on Sunday. Finally watched Breaking Bad last night, and went through Season 1 and half of 2 all in one sitting, which I haven’t done in years. Oh, and with the new laptop, my dad added some old family photos he got from my grandma’s (RIP) collection while he was there earlier to this year. Dear god, I used to be cute and adorable once, then puberty, death metal and Beavis and Butthead happened.

    The Bad: Nothing much, really.

    The Ugly: Hmmmmmmmmmm, can’t think of anything clever on this one just yet.

  • I am quite late to the party…

    The Good: The weekend. The “rut” is starting and the deer should be running crazy this weekend. Hoping to bag me one!
    The Bad: Somehow I am being confused for Gorak. I have been trying to nail who he is for quite sometime… and somehow I am inadvertently now him. Lol
    The Ugly: We didn’t get a Halloween invite this year… Bummer.

    You’ll have a great weekend!

    GL

    • Boss the Ross

      Shit yeah! Good hunting my friend!

      • refresh for image! This is the only bruiser I have photos of this year (so far). I hope I get a chance to see him. We will see!

        • Boss the Ross

          Hell yes. That is a good looking buck. Look at the neck on that sucker!

          • Here is the second photo of him. look at that bag at the bottom of his chest. What a hog. Not particularly tall, but he is quite wide.

            There is at least one more that is nice…he has more mass-but he is quite young…. he is the second photo.

          • Boss the Ross

            Lucky sombich.
            What state are you in? If you dont mind me asking…

          • Ohio

          • West Central Ohio!

          • Boss the Ross

            Right on. How did it go?

          • Had a shooter buck come in right at 7a yesterday… the grass was wet so he snuck right up… I stood up when he was behind a tree and my stand make a small ‘pop’. He heard it and spooked. Kinda bummed.. .but he was the first buck it have seen cruising… So there will be more!

          • Boss the Ross

            Damn, at least you’re seeing them in person and not just camera shots though, best of luck on your next hunt my friend!

    • GL! good to see you in a Flushing session; i feel like you’re usually off doing normal people things

      • Eh, I am usually gone from work at 4. Then I am pretty much awol till Monday. Fun fun!

  • Here’s my Halloween costume for tonight. Nothing new. Satan…

    http://i1045.photobucket.com/albums/b451/Tyree_Grindhart/SATAN_zpsyg8td0is.jpg

  • Bad: Almost a full week of 11 hr. days with little-to-no Toilet capacity. I’m all backed up with articles. Feels bad, man.

    Good: Lagunitas IPA, so far. Ketel One chaser.

    Ugly: Well that Cybrorg costume is legitimately creepy, and that Dagon “costume” is legitimately creepy in a different way, so . . . yeah, those.

    • Boss the Ross

      I’ve been working 10s, i feel you man.

      Lagunitas IPA is pretty solid. Damn, i want a beer. But I’m still at work, and for some reason drinking on the job is frowned upon. I have 1 more Stone Enjoy By Oct 31 left that i will be enjoying.

      • Hahaha yeah, I deliver beer for a living and they STILL won’t let me drink on the job. What is this–a Puritan colony or something?!?!?!?!?!?!?

        • Boss the Ross

          Damn those post-prohibition drinking laws!

        • more beer

          That is truly the definition of living hell.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Takk, armless one

  • KJM, Shake Zula
    • Did they ever release these on DVD? I need it.

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        I’m pretty sure they did, but not on blu-ray.

        • I don’t blow ray, so this affects me not.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Holy fuck that is unwatchable

  • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot
    • BEARD-SPLITTER
      • BEARD-SPLITTER

        RIP Jim Varney

        • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

          Why do I have this feeling that they’re gonna try remaking those films somewhere down the line? Masterpieces like that should never be touched, just like the new Big Trouble In Little China they’re working on!

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Ugh.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Oh, before I forget……….. pics of me in Puerto Rico growing up. Finally seeing these after all these years!

          • Boss the Ross

            Double ugh.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            *Master P sues you for using ‘ugh’*

          • Boss the Ross

            Technically he makes ’em say “uhh!”, so he has no legal precedent over my use of ugh.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Cyber is a millionaire in our ‘Gah’ jar!

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Gha! (royalty-free)

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot
          • CyberneticOrganism

            BTILC is a goddamned perfect film. A remake is absolute heresy.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            I say we get Gorack, our clubs and loinclothes against whoever is responsible for the Conan remake! As if Red Sonya wasn’t bad enough, they made it even worse with the remake. I’ll say the anime original of ‘Lucy’ wasn’t nearly as good as the Scarlett Johansen movie, though.

          • hey now, leave Red Sonja alone! i’ll get @dario_argento:disqus in here to post semi-SFW pics of her…

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Lol! Even Ah-nold himself says he fucking hates that movie.

            http://www.eonline.com/photos/15445/celebs-who-hate-their-own-movies/469682

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Especially with The Rock producing and starring in it.

  • KJM, Shake Zula

    “Excuse me, Sir? You can’t park that tank here.”

  • JWEG

    Bad:
    – I was busy running around doing errands today so I missed my opportunity to cathart with the rest of you as of posting time.

    – Yesterday I randomly lost the micro-to-USB cord for my new phone (I’m off the iPhone bandwagon guys – got an LG) yet somehow retained the wall plug part that fits onto the USB end. Getting a replacement was actually errand #1

    – Errand #2 was going to get a bag of candy for my parents to give out to the local Halloweenies because my mother couldn’t resist polishing off the first one

    – Errand #3 involved a long walk through the industrial district – because no bus quite directly goes to it from anywhere in town – in order to find a random recycling center to collect a second blue box (our local recycling pickup decided we have to pre-sort glass for them as though it’s a major hardship)

    #4 and #5 were kind of dull and neither bad nor good so so I won’t bore you with details.

    Good:
    #6: Marking a recently-completed assignment for students in my Project Management Lab. All were outstandingly done. I feel good for having got through to them.

    Ugly:
    I’m never good at picking out an ugly experience. I’m drawing a blank this week too.

  • JamesGrimm

    LETS BURN THIS MOTHERFUCKER DOWN.

  • BEARD-SPLITTER

    Heres to 10,000 upvotes.

    I deserved not a single one. Thanks guys

    • more beer

      Have 10,001.

    • Boss the Ross

      10,002!

    • a lot of them i gave to big fuzz

      • BEARD-SPLITTER

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