Flush it Friday: Gojira is Coming to a Demolition Derby Near You

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It’s Friday afternoon and your favorite band just went full-on hard rawk.

I’ve never been a Gojira fan, but I’m well aware that they hold an esteemed place of in the world of metal. For twenty years, the brothers Duplantier & co. have been writing and touring relentlessly, earning plaudits from fans and critics alike. Their success has been well-deserved and a testament to talent and tenacity. And now? Now it’s time to make some fuckin’ $$$$$$$$$$$$$.

Brand new track “Stranded” presents a bold new vision for Gojira that may just see the band headlining Rocklahoma in the near future (just underneath Disturbed). It’s the smartest move they could have made. As we all know, there’s no money to be made in metal. By crossing over to a radio rock sound, Gojira have an opportunity to appeal to a huge audience with cash to spend on CDs and Rockstar energy drinks.

Aside from a neat little Whammy pedal lick, there’s not a whole lot to differentiate “Stranded” from your garden variety Godsmack tune. Just close your eyes and imagine the chorus being sung by Sully Erna or your choice of some barb wire-tattooed radio rock frontman. It’s a natural fit, and one that I predict will win a ton of new fans for the band. Congratulations to Gojira for making the next upward move in their career. May the BDubs Bro cash come flooding in.

“Stranded” is from Magma, out June 17th on some label that doesn’t give a fuck about TovH. Based on the reactions of my esteemed colleague Dubya, a huge Gojira fan, “Stranded” may very well earn a spot on the next collection of Songs that Ruined Everything.

http://dai.ly/xmagru


This is Flush it Friday. The comments below are open for you to share your success stories and vent your frustrations.

  • Holy lord that Gojira track is the worst thing I’ve heard this year, and I’ve listened to a ton of awful power metal

    • Dubs

      Is bad 🙁

      • I’m sorry for you 🙁

        • Dubs

          Appreciate it. At least Krallice has yet to be a disappointment, though I’m sure someday they will. That’s just a universal constant. Entropy, my friend.

          • Not every band can be Blind Guardian

          • Dubs

            I think you’re forgetting about a certain recent stinker they dropped.

          • A Twist in the Myth and Beyond the Red Mirror were just okay.

            This is outright bad.

          • Dubs

            I think A Twist in the Myth is good actually. I think Beyond the Red Mirror was a bit below okay.

          • Both are quite polarizing, and I don’t care about either. At least Rhapsody put out high quality material this year

          • Dubs

            Hey, I liked that new Rhapsody album. It makes my sword quite shiny.

          • It’s so good and I dont’ care what anyone says

          • Dubs

            I will stand at your side with warhammer raised high.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Yep! I had my doubts, but after some coaxing from you, I checked it out, and loved it. Also checked out that Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann you were talking about. Pretty good!

          • Was there any hint that they would head in that direction on the last album?

          • Dubs

            Maybe a little. I’m honestly just being melodramatic because work is stressing me out. I’m not super band loyal at this point in my life.

          • Probably matters little since we always wind up finding something else to entertain us.

      • hieronymus bossk

        I liked it at first, mostly because I was happy for new Gojira, but the more I listen to it, the more I find it bland. It’s too simple, like Nirvana songwriting simple. They went full Mastodon on this song.

        • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

          Roadrunner tends to have that effect on bands once they get signed to them. *cough Opeth cough*

          • hieronymus bossk

            I thought they had been on Roadrunner for a while? I mean it’s only one song. I still love Joe’s vocal performance on the track.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            I’ll give the whole album a try, but my expectations are pretty low. They’ve been on RR, but it’s been a gradual downgrade since they left Prosthetic, IMHO.

          • hieronymus bossk

            I didn’t like Infant Sausage that much. This feels a lot different and refreshing, but I hope this isn’t how the whole album sounds like. I like variation.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            “I didn’t like Infant Sausage that much.”

            https://media.giphy.com/media/ba5g4ID9g5cT6/giphy.gif

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      I’ve heard worse this year, but the new Gojira song just so blah. At least Roadrunner still has King 810, though I’m doubting they’re still on there.

    • hieronymus bossk

      It may have taken a bland Gojira song to get you to admit power metal being awful, but finally! Now do anime and the world will be right again.

    • You get a Ron Swanson kind nod of approval.

  • Dave Vincent’s Perm

    Good: fucking METAL, hobgoblin
    Bad: being accused of supporting the nazis
    Ugly: my face after attempting to use ‘affordable’ razors

  • GOOD: Currently one of my all-time favorite records is waiting for me on my front porch. The mighty Satanic Rites demo by Hellhammer! I’m beyond excited to get home to it.

    BAD: Nothing currently, I have Satanic Rites and a fridge full of beer to look forward to tonight. Can’t complain.

    UGLY: Satanic Rites, such an ugly sounding album!!! Ugh!!! ONLY DEATH IS REAL!!!

  • Edward/Breegrodamus™

    GOOD: Dark Souls III and this new Wode self-titled album out on Broken Limbs.

    BAD: having to work all weekend.

    UGLY: still needing to take a shower at 3:00 pm on a Friday.

    • I’ve now invested TEN HOURS into the Dark Souls game Masterlord sent me and I still can’t beat the goshdang gargoyles at the very beginning.

      • Hey at least you made it to the gargoyles!

        What system are you playing on?

        • Xbone. They let you emulate some 360 games on it now.

          • Poop. If you were on PC I’d try to come help you

      • Edward/Breegrodamus™

        Yeah, Dark Souls might be the most brutally difficult game in the series – that or Demons’ Souls. I haven’t beaten it but plan to when my love affair with DSIII wears off (not anytime soon, fuck).

        • DS3 feels like it’s harder to me than the rest so far

          • Vault Dweller

            That’s because you beat two buttons on your controller to death. When you can weapon skill again, that’ll help 😉

          • My Zwei’s weapon skill is hilarious in PVP because so many people just charge right into me and get launched

          • Vault Dweller

            You do a disgusting and unholy amount of damage with that thing, it’s pretty fucked up!

          • GID GUT CASUL

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            #shotsfired

          • Vault Dweller

            .45 Cal or Bust!
            Plo Plo Plo

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            Really? It feels comparably difficult to Bloodborne, but DS is just brutally hard to me, way harder than both.

          • Idk, I’ve beat DS so far into the ground that none of it challenges me anymore, so maybe that’s all haha. I think Bloodborne may be the easiest out them all

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            Bloodborne was so difficult the first week I had it I thought I would quit before I beat the Cleric Beast. I think all of these games have a learning curve and once you surpass it (by gitting gud) they aren’t so bad.

          • Yup, basically. Bb was relatively easy for me once I got past the first 3 bosses or so, outside a few exceptions (Ebrietas, the bs Chalice Dungeon bosses, Orphan of Kos).

            For whatever reason, Quelaag took me a long time to beat in DS1 but now I can almost run down there naked lvl 1 and kill her

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            I just beat the Abyss Watchers on NG+ on my first try, feels good man.

          • yes. i have also noticed a massive shift in published reviews of the games, since Demon’s Souls’ release -> up to now.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            Things get popular and it ruins everything.

          • LOL! hey at least the games aren’t getting worse over time to pander to the masses. nobody (music or otherwise) does that.

          • I’d pay $5.99 for a rocket launcher DLC pack.

          • (keep your voice down…that’s f**king genius!)

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            DSIII has been so satisfying. I loved the second game (because I played it way after the fact, after BB actually, on PS4) but a lot of people thought they really dropped the ball with DSII. No one thinks that about DSIII.

          • i still haven’t picked up DSIII. but home improvement projects are at a good stopping point, so maybe it’s time i make a move.
            i never played the first Dark Souls or Bloodbourne, but i have an okay time with strong builds combined with a lil’ farming

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            So you played DSII?

          • i am at the final boss. i have not finished him/her/it because i think i can defeat all the old giants (and therefore Vendrick). this cockiness may lead to my destruction.

      • Dave Vincent’s Perm

        I have a bug stopping me from completing fallout 2.

        • There are mods you can dl that patch the game to run easier on a current system. It should eliminate some of those game-breaking bugs.

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            Nah, I’m using the Restoration Project which includes killap’s patch. The issue is with the submarine that it adds.

          • Ah shit

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            What did you think about fallout 4?

          • I quit halfway through because I got burned out on dumbass settlement side quests. But I’ll probably revisit at some point.

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            ANOTHER SETTLEMENT NEEDS OUR HELP

          • NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm
          • Vault Dweller

            Revisit for Far Harbor; you’ve eaten food from the source location!
            #tenuoustiescanbefun

          • Vault Dweller

            You didn’t ask me, but:
            A pretty sweet game that was still missing a little of that *something* that Fallout worlds usually have… and I think most of that ‘something’ is quality humor and meaningful dialogue.

            Combat is better than ever, the faction system is pretty cool, the enemies were great, the crafting system is awesome (and still improving with each piece of DLC)… but sometimes it was hard to care about the world’s characters as much as I did in 3 or NV.

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            I really liked skyrim, but it seems to me that f4 takes every issue I had with skyrim and makes it worse.

      • EsusMoose

        I mean that’s decent, gargoyles are pretty difficult. I don’t want to remember how long it took me to beat them.

        • They’re very difficult first playthrough!

        • Edward/Breegrodamus™

          I actually beat them on my first try using firebombs.

          • EsusMoose

            I think I ran a knight build so they took me a lot of times getting used to the game and getting levels.

      • woah, ten hours. you must be at final boss by now

    • Edward/Breegrodamus™

      Broken Limbs is putting out a lot of music I dig – that’s a label to watch imo.

  • Jom Pootersan

    So fucking disappointing, man.

    • Edward/Breegrodamus™

      Sorry Jom.

      • Jom Pootersan

        Thanks for your concern, Ed. We’ll get through it together.

        • Edward/Breegrodamus™

          I’ve never been much of a Gojira fan, and haven’t even listened to the new song.

          • Jom Pootersan

            I have been, did listen (obviously), and am disappoint.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            =(

        • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

          *cues the Laverne And Shirley theme song for you and Ed*

  • Good: Taking the Avalon Steel boys up to see Night Demon, Against the Grain, and Visigoth tonight. Should rule.. Killed work today

    Bad: I need car repairs and new boots

    Ugly: I left my battle vest at home and won’t have time to get it 🙁

    • Edward/Breegrodamus™

      Sorry Randall.

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      Visigoth owns! Enjoy the show, mate! PS, got your vote on lockdown tomorrow. 😉

    • i saw that tour comin up to the Odditorium my way

    • hieronymus bossk

      At least you need car repairs. I need the car.

    • more beer

      You don’t work on your own car?

  • Dave Vincent’s Perm

    Shitting Christ, that new gojira song sounds like someone recorded me the day I first tried out a guitar with a floyd.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      It’s very not good.

  • Dubs

    A sad day for sure, but as they say, all things pass into the night.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_DVS_303kQ

  • RustyShackleford

    GOOD: Weekend/spring weather.

    BAD: My thesis is killing me. One week left then that shit gotta be done. Glad I’m taking a year or two off before I try to hit up grad school.

    UGLY: My farts right now after I snacked on some doritos after lunch GOOD LORD what the fuck is in those things?!?! Seriously if someone came in my room right now they’d think an animal died or some shit.

    Yup.

    • Brock Samson

      I am just starting my grad school applications and it is such a pain. I really should have just gone into stripping like my heart told me.

      • more beer

        Unless you have aged really badly. It is never to late to follow your heart.

  • Can’t wait for that Gojira & Godsmack tour bro. Hopefully they can get Volbeat too.

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm

      The fact that I sometimes pretend to respect people who would be excited for that tour saddens me.

  • Hubert

    Yeah that Gojira track isn’t good. Massive bummer, that teaser they released earlier was really cool.

  • EsusMoose

    Good: nice weather, ran most mornings this week, beer and wings later, Ihsahn’s new record, dark souls 3
    Bad: Missed my run this morning, gonna have to study a lot this weekend, dark soul 3 farming
    Ugly: Nothing right now, probably will feel ugly tomorrow.

  • xengineofdeathx

    I was very bummed out when I heard this song earlier today….

    Good: uchi mata is finally clicking for me
    Bad: had to buy a new car, not as much money for shows
    Ugly: mom died two weeks ago and the Fallout from it, and the rest of my family being assholes is becoming a little much. I wanna live in a cave and tell my phone to fuck off forever.

    • Edward/Breegrodamus™

      Sorry to hear about the passing of your mom, I can’t imagine what that will be like for me. Good luck with the fam.

    • oh man, so sorry about your mother 🙁

    • more beer

      Sorry about your mom. It really sucks when family shows their true colors in situations like this.

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      Sorry to hear about your mom, and the family situation. 🙁

    • Vault Dweller

      Sorry brother: Wish you the best!

    • That’s rough man, my condolences. Hope your situation improves.

    • Waynecro

      My condolences.

    • condolences, man. thats unfathomable.

    • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

      My sincerest condolences, brother.

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

    Good: Pretty chill week, hoping on calls back from all these job apps. Landed a Myrath interview, the Persona one should be all done and ready to be sent in by early next week, and got a couple of article ideas floating through my head. Working on that a lot more, since my head is more clear and drinking far less (once in the last week, and twice in the last week and a half).
    Bad: http://img.fark.net/images/cache/850/y/yy/fark_yyoUwG-3Jj8lhgLxAQafX_EQfag.jpg?t=UBJnZEWrErLukkRsmLpovg&f=1461556800
    LMAO: Video surfaced of Prince telling Kim Lardassian to get the fuck off the stage back in 2011. And corporations and politicians are sharing their grief over Prince’s passing, in the most hilariously idiotic ways possible: http://www.somethingawful.com/news/corporate-twitter-prince/?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link

    http://i.somethingawful.com/u/elpintogrande/2016/corptweets06.jpg

    • Vault Dweller

      PERSONA >>>>>>>>>>

      • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

        Yep! I know a lot of people may be put off when they see the words ‘symphonic metal’ in the interview description, but they are way above the usual crop of SM. Aka, they’re not Nightwishcore.

  • JWEG

    Good: at least my eye exam disproved any notion of intracranial pressure on my optic nerve being the source of my eye strain and headaches.

    Bad: that doesn’t mean it’s not related to a deterioration of my medical condition. Just that it hasn’t progressed to one of the more easily diagnosed advanced warning signs yet.

    Also bad: my eye health otherwise deteriorated, so I needed a new prescription for new lenses (and new frames so I can wear the old ones until the new are ready). Since I also require light-transitional lenses, I just blew through this and next month’s “Incidentals” budget.

    Ugly: fortunately nothing this week

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      Damn, hoping that all gets better. 🙁

    • The Chair was released this past week. seen it yet? i have not, but will try this weekend.

      • JWEG

        Yeah. I got my digital version this week. I neglected to mention it as a “good” only because I wasn’t sure I was allowed to mention having seen it before the distribution deal kicks in. But it’s actually really good, IMO. Just the right balance of suspenseful atmospheric-horror and random gory bits for punctuated emphasis. It’s not outright ‘horror’ horror, but it does get under your skin and crawl around in there for a while.

        Tim Muskatell is riveting even in the slow bits where it’s just him basically talking to the fourth wall relating what in the novel was him-as-narrator just outside the comic panels. And I totally expected Bill Oberst to be suitably creepy in the role of the Warden, but he seems to channel something extra malevolent (I can barely resist violating Godwin’s Law, TBH). Roddy Piper totally inhabits both versions of his character, too.

        It follows the plot of the graphic novel fairly closely, then starts deviating just past the point where the Big Twist (no spoilers) occurs in the book.

        • i haven’t read the graphic novel yet, but your description makes me want to watch it ASAP

          • JWEG

            If I have time next week I’m going to write a lengthier review, after I watch it a second time.

          • you should consider e-mailing me the review, i could post it on this very site, as a guest submission!

          • JWEG

            I’ve got so many article ideas, I might want to set myself up as more than just a ‘guest’. I’ll let you know if I get it done before next weekend.

            I might also review “Cured” (got that one this last week too). Almost definitely a separate submission, though.

          • believe me, i’d love to read more JWEG stuff. your comments alone are always thoughtful and funny <3

    • BALLS ROLL

      they give you any weed for this condition?

      • JWEG

        I wish. It might be something of a moot point within a year, though. There was a (can’t be coincidentally timed) 4/20 announcement to the effect that the Liberal Party are moving toward legalization by next year, and the first steps were made this week.

        I guess there’s another “Good” I should have added, huh.

  • Bad: Found out that the job I interviewed for last week is passing on me.
    Good: Oppurtunities continue to present themselves without me even having to look so I picked up some plan B’s this week. I’m confident that if I keep plugging away, something is bound to turn up.
    Ugly: My 3 year old has added the F-bomb to his vocab.

    • Edward/Breegrodamus™

      Sorry to hear about the job, Deuce.

      I know you probably want to be a responsible parent and all but I chuckled at your “ugly” lol

      • more beer

        I laughed at that too.

      • I find it funny, he plays this driving game on his iPad and keeps yelling “where’s the fucking checkpoint!”. The wife is not amused.

        • more beer

          Wives tend to not be amused by these types of things. It could be worse. He could be telling the wife fuck you.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Both of my parents were in the navy, so yeah, I learned the more colorful words very early on.

          • I can’t be blamed for this one, for someone who can’t spell he sure seems to find stuff on youtube that contains swear words. She said she some blocker on it, but that’s not working.

          • BALLS ROLL

            download the youtube kids app bro…it’;s got built in controls….soon you’ll be hearing nothing but minions

          • Got that, my kid is smart and he knows the difference because he had the regular version first. Probably just going uninstall again.

          • more beer

            I certainly wasn’t blaming you. Kids just pick things up. I know that when I was kid. If I was told not say or do something. I did it the first chance I got and boys will be boys.

          • I knew all the swear words by the time I was 4. He’s a year ahead of schedule.

          • more beer

            So he is in the honors program.

        • JWEG

          Adjective form, huh. I accidentally introduced that to the next-door neighbour’s kid.

          His parents actually thought it was funny (not that they didn’t act stern and discourage him) right up until he asked his preschool teacher what it actually meant…

      • Max

        I can’t believe we actually still have “swear” words anymore. Isn’t pretty much everything acceptable now? For example, from what I’ve seen, even the word “cunt” only has about a 50% chance of being printed as “c**t” (or similar) in an online news story.

        Having grown up with my older brother and learnt most of the swear words from him, I was kinda surprised when he, having become a father, was all like “don’t swear in front of my kids”. Is there some sort of unwritten parents’ conspiracy to keep swear words potent by telling kids off for it even though they’ve become virtually ubiquitous across music, film, literature and TV in a way they weren’t for earlier generations?

        • JWEG

          “Gendered” profanity is still a sticking point online, though most internet sites and blogs that use that wording seem to be implying that only women are a gender, since calling someone a “dick” or some variation thereof isn’t considered a gendered insult.

          It’s one of the very few places I think it’s fair to question political correctness (yes, for the record, I think 99% of the remaining complaints are overblown by MRAs and gasbag wingnuts), because it seems to actually inherently legitimate an idea that even other women using words for ladyparts as insults against women is the worst possible offence ever, whereas no such analogy applies to males.

          To me that’s, in itself, rather sexist. I’d prefer to see either an all or nothing stance against gendered profanity.

          • Max

            Agreed. Very well put.

        • Edward/Breegrodamus™

          I think the C-bomb is the only swear word left that carries any weight, but that’s true in the U.S. and not so much in the U.K. as they have a little less mean spirited meaning behind it.

    • BALLS ROLL

      sounds like your toddler is gonna be a big Mercy Blow fan

      • There’s potential for that.

  • BALLS ROLL

    Good: Commission checks
    Bad: my back still hurts from last week’s Friday flushing
    Ugly: Prince

  • Dave Vincent’s Perm

    Removing my sloppy trem picking technique is proving frustrating.

  • ME GORAK B.C.™

    GOOD:DIGGING NEW WRETCHED END!!!!!
    BAD:2 MUCH 2 SMAAAAAAASH!!!!!
    UGLY:
    http://images.akamai.steamusercontent.com/ugc/264960339431280025/D954590A26504A3F7B395895D2793FF73FEE3DF0/

  • Is the new Gojira album called “You Will Never Be One Of Us”?

    • Yes, but in French. Vous weel nevar be le one of us

      • EsusMoose

        You missed the shitty laugh that’d probably be at the end. “huh huh huh”

      • CyberneticOrganism

        *wears beret & stripey shirt*
        *trims a super-thin mustache*
        *buys wine & baguette*
        *rides old-timey bike w/ basket*

  • Gonna go drink beer & look at some dinosaur bones tonight.

    n’shit.

  • Guacamole Jim

    Meh, the song ain’t on that level. it’s bland, for sure, and kinda uninteresting, but even from a technical standpoint is much better than radio rock. Not many polyrhythms make it onto the same forums that play Godsmack.

    Good: I’m on the mend!

    Bad: As some of you know, I got into an accident last week. Hit an unmarked construction zone on my motorbike at night – couldn’t see a thing until it was too late. Ended up with four broken ribs, a fractured elbow, and some serious road rash. Also, my bike is a teensy bit messed up.

    Ugly: Hospital bills.

    • shit son, sorry about the accident. git gud soon! if you need to share pics of body parts (for evidence), we understand

      • Guacamole Jim

        I’ve got a pre-cast selfie! RFI

        • BALLS ROLL

          fuck

        • gnar

        • Vault Dweller

          Well-played, killer!

          ‘Bout how long did it take for the adrenaline to wear off and for that shit to make you wish you had no nerves?

          • Guacamole Jim

            About 45 minutes – once the initial panic of not being able to breath wore off I was walking around, didn’t feel that bad. But about the time I got to the hospital the pain was really setting in. Then they gave me the nicest IV of something in the world, and I felt very little that night.

          • more beer

            I broke 3 ribs last year. It sucks when you can’t breathe from it. I snapped one clean and could feel it moving around my back. It was a long month to say the least.

          • Guacamole Jim

            Yep, the feeling of ribs grinding against each other in my chest cavity is right up there on the list of things I never want to feel again.

          • more beer

            Agreed.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            A friend of mine pushed me through my computer table years back when we were fucking around, and it ended up almost breaking the ribs on my right side. Cracked a couple of ribs, and it hurt like a motherfucker breathing, laying on my side, and doing most anything at work.

          • more beer

            It fucking sucks I had another couple broken at a local show. In a tiny bar. Stupid fucks trying to mosh in a tiny area. Ended up pushing the whole crowed. I ended up slamming into a table in a booth I didn’t feel it until the next day due to alcohol poisoning. that sucked too.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            My roomy/landlord got his thumb pushed literally all the way back towards his wrist a couple of years ago in a mosh pit, and goddamn was that painful to even look at! It took almost a year for that to completely heal up and for the pain to go away.

        • Daaaaaaaaaaamn

        • How do showers feel? Like bathing in salted lava?

          • Guacamole Jim

            Initailly, yeah, but they’ve healed really well. Now the most irritating thing is the cast, which I have to cover with a garbage bag to avoid getting it wet. Stupid cast.

        • nbm02ss

          When they scab over be sure not to pick at them; they’ll itch like a mofo, but mine never left any scars (unless you’re into that kinda thing).

        • CyberneticOrganism

          GAAAAHHH you okay?

        • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

          Goddamn, man! Yeep, that took a nice little hunk outta yah!

        • Damn, that looks like the asphalt had its way with you.

        • hieronymus bossk

          I had one of those tingly, visceral reaction-type feelings looking at this. Then my mind went to how one would approach picking a scab of that magnitude.

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      Yikes! Good to hear you’re on the mend, and hope you’re back to 100% soon.

      • Guacamole Jim

        Thank you sir! I’m up and about, and can get in and out of bed pretty easily now. I even slept on my side last night, which is a serious improvement.

        • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

          #PrayForGuac’sButtCheeks

    • nbm02ss

      Ah jeez, sorry to hear that man. I totaled my bike years ago when a guy in a pickup truck backed out in front of me, so I definitely feel for you. Hope you make a full recovery.

      • Guacamole Jim

        Ouch dude, that’s brutal. At least there was nobody else involved in mine! How bad was the damage to your person?

        • nbm02ss

          Broken collar bone, road rash, and I got knocked out when my helmet hit the pavement. Slid front first until I came to rest in front of another car that I’m told almost ran over me.

          • You guys are making me somewhat reconsider purchasing a motorcycle.

          • Guacamole Jim

            Literally everyone I know who drives one has had a fairly serious accident or two. That being said, as soon as I’m well enough I’m getting back on mine… it’s an addiction.

          • nbm02ss

            I’ll be getting another one myself one of these years. I still have mine, even though it’s a pile of parts. 2005 Gixxer 1000. The engine still spins; thinking about making it into a go-kart.

          • Guacamole Jim

            Do it!! That’s an awesome engine; no sense in letting it go to waste. I was on a BMW F800GS. It actually held up really well through the accident.

          • BALLS ROLL

            you started this blog at all of our suggestion, how bad could buying a bike turn out?

          • more beer

            Wear a helmet. You don’t look as cool. But if you do crash you may not end up with a traumatic head injury. Which is really fucked up compared to looking uncool.

          • Guacamole Jim

            Helmet saved my life. I hit my head so hard when I went down I ended up with a cut and bruise through the helmet. Had I hit the concrete with nothing on….. yup.

          • more beer

            No doubt. Having worked in a hospital for a while. Every person who came in from a motorcycle accident. Who wasn’t wearing a helmet and lived. Was really messed up. Especially their brains.

          • Waynecro

            Definitely wear a helmet. My dad crashed his Harley once because there was a fucking trailer hitch sitting in the middle of the freeway. He turned one of his elbows into powder, and he was covered in road rash, but the helmet saved his life. He still rides the motorcycle (which had to be rebuilt).

          • more beer

            Fuck yea that skid lid will save your life.

          • Waynecro

            Definitely.

          • if youre ever around my area, here is a deadly place to ride (usually at least one death a year):
            http://tailofthedragon.com

          • Waynecro

            Jeez. I’m not going to get a motorcycle. I don’t even like driving a car.

          • i drive between 40,000 and 60,000 miles per year for work alone

          • Waynecro

            Jeez, man. I couldn’t deal with that shit.

          • 1105 customers served in the mountains last year, they gave me and about 10 others in our market a plaque!

            im shooting for the most in the SE this year.

          • more beer

            I would like driving more if I didn’t drive so much for work.

          • i know this feel, big time, MB!

          • more beer

            I look at my truck on weekends and just think. Someone needs to come pick me up if they want me to go out.

          • Waynecro

            When I lived in the Bay area, it would often take me two to three hours to drive, like, 15 miles in awful traffic. I have no patience for that shit.

          • more beer

            Traffic really sucks there. But it gets like that here too.I have no patience for it either.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            I’m so glad I’ve never drove and never learned how to ride a bike!

          • more beer

            But having a vehicle is freedom to go any place you want anytime.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            True, especially around here. The bus system is good here, but still takes forever to get to the more fun places like Virginia Beach (even Williamsburg and Yorktown, which are practically next door, take two hours from where I’m at by bus). One of these days I’ll probably drive, but finding a job again is first and foremost. Job, school, car, all in that order.

          • Guacamole Jim

            Damn!! I’m lucky I didn’t get knocked out when I had mine. I’m super glad the other car didn’t get you!! And helmets are lifesavers. Gotta have them.

          • nbm02ss

            Riding with gear >>>>>>>>>

          • nbm02ss

            Worst part: The nurse who scrubbed the asphalt out of my wounds wasn’t even cute. 🙁

          • Guacamole Jim

            The nurse who gave me a rubdown bath in ICU wasn’t cute either.. which was okay, because I was far from being on my game that day.

          • the last cute nurse who took care of me — the sedatives made up for any game that i lacked that day

          • Waynecro

            I remember being in the hospital, and a lady nurse was trying to sponge bathe me. As she tried to clean the caked blood off my genitals, I realized that she was the first woman ever to touch my wiener. This was very likely the lowest point of my entire life. She was a really nice lady, though.

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            That is brutal.

          • Waynecro

            Had I not been so dehydrated, I would have wept bitterly.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls
          • Waynecro

            The nurse who jammed in my catheter wasn’t even a lady.

          • Please, everyone that reads this blog wear a helmet when you ride. My girlfriend’s dad is a neurosurgeon and has to deal with the consequences when you don’t.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            One of my best friends back in ’99 rode a motorcycle drunk, and ended up getting tossed a good 50 feet, shattering his helmet. When I visited him in the hospital, the left side of his head was shifted inwards, and most likely he’s either a vegetable now or permanently brain damaged. Without that helmet though, he definitely would’ve died.

    • BALLS ROLL

      sue sue sue!

      • Guacamole Jim

        I would, if I weren’t driving slightly illegally myself (Bolivia’s rules are pretty lax). Technically as a tourist I’m not supposed to be driving. So I ran a risk, and ended up losing out. I’m just very glad to be alive, as I landed a couple feet away from exposed rebar!

        • BALLS ROLL

          you got it raw like cocaine straight from bolivia

        • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

          IIRC, don’t they have the most dangerous roads on Earth, literally?

        • RETURN TO NORTH AMERICA!!! M/ M/ M/

    • Holy shit man! Glad you’re at least functional and alive!

      • Guacamole Jim

        Me too! Thanks dude <3

    • Elizabeth Short

      Yikes. Good to see you’re still up and powering through it. I have somewhere around $12K in hospital bills from when I had a seizure at work on Christmas Eve last year. Is far more bleak and evil than any of the unpronounceable black metal albums I have.

    • I didn’t hear a single polyrhythm in this song. Are you thinking of syncopation?

  • JT, this is one of the best FiFs ever written.
    Good: we still have Sanzu
    Bad: Venezuelan internet connections
    Beautiful: Waynecro (i assume)

    • We weep for half-elf bloggers in South America.

    • Waynecro

      I’ve never been accused of beauty before.

    • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

      I assume as well. I mean, i AM voting Waynecro this year…

      • he’s the Trump we can trust.
        oh hai BtR!

        • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

          Hallo Jimmy!

        • Waynecro

          If elected, I will punch all the other candidates right in the kidneys and take a victory lap around the Washington Monument.

      • Waynecro

        Thank you, citizen! If elected, I promise to let you down slightly less or at least in a slightly different way than the other candidates would have.

        • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

          Works for me!

          • Waynecro

            Plus, I constructed my platform on the crushed bodies of my vanquished opponents. That’s kinda neat.

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            Instead of campaign stickers, we’ll make campaign back patches.

    • Lacertilian

      I knew y’all would come back to Sanzu.

  • uhhhh, this just sounds like Gojira to me. theyve always been an accessible band.

    Good:friday, payday, starting NG+ playthrough on my DKS3 main. picked up a bottle of Southern Comfort on my way home.

    Bad: Still waiting on my copy of Valonielu from 20BS. ughhhhhhh.

    Ugly: Work tomorrow. 80+F weather in the mountains.

    • Dubs

      I don’t think this song and the new song are particularly comparable.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=757SiXkPlH4

      • This album I some what enjoyed. Definitely more straight up death metal. Been years since I last heard it though.

        • Dubs

          It’s very similar to Gateways-era Morbid Angel, IMO.

          • Indeed, I remember hearing that comparison quite well.

          • Dubs

            They went in a very different direction on The Link, which I’m actually not a huge fan of. Despite what Joe says above, I really only love 3 of Gojira’s albums. The other two I like but can take or leave, mostly.

          • Gotcha.

          • BALLS ROLL

            I’m not hearing what you’re hearing in that respect

          • i trust this opinion. (BTW, Dominhate is out!)

          • BALLS ROLL

            the whole album?

          • oops, yeah digital. bandcamp sent out the email yesterday. and it’s a great album.

          • BALLS ROLL

            Gave it the full listen over the weekend on headphones, and it’s something I will come back to when I can listen to it louder

          • hey coming from you, that’s praise for the band!

          • BALLS ROLL

            in the beginning of March, Steve Tucker posted on his FB that he and Trey were almost finished with the song writing for the new album. It’s not coming soon enough.

          • i’m taking every word they say with a grain of salt… after that “I” album :/

          • Dubs

            Mostly in the groove.

          • Correct, that MA album is definitely groovy. Just a very different sounding album for MA. In a good way though, no real complaints from me.

          • Also, a much more mechanical sounding at times. Especially with the double bass matching the guitar patterns.

          • Dubs

            Yah. Some of Joe D.’s early riffs sounds a lot like what Azagthoth plays when he isn’t soloing.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Especially those pick scrapes. There was one album where MA went overkill with that (I think it was either Domination or Formulas Fatal To The Flush), I forget which.

          • BALLS ROLL

            perhaps, but still pretty far off stylistically, and of course much less satan

          • Yeah, well of course. We are talking about the musical aspect.

          • I wouldn’t compare Gojira to any of the MA’s releases before Gateways to Annihilation. Gateways has a very strong influence on Gojira’s sound for sure.

          • Dubs

            Definitely not the stuff before Gateways.

          • Yeah, I want that to be clear. Haha

      • no but i think this new song wouldnt have been completely out of place on L’Enfant Sauvage

        • Dubs

          I’ll agree with you on that. That’s not the same as “always accessible” though.

          • generalizations, really. i meant relative to the metal landscape as a whole

          • Dubs

            fair enough

          • are you grouchy today, W?

          • Dubs

            Very much so. I’m working on a multimillion dollar research grant proposal that would be causing my hair to grey prematurely if I still had hair.

            Sorry for being a grumpus.

          • its okay.

          • we lurb him anyways

  • Vault Dweller

    Good: Dark Souls 3 is a fucking blast! That’s where basically all of my free time has gone for the last week+. Also managed to get my recalled airbag replaced for free before it killed me with shrapnel, so that’s a +… and perhaps best of all, I dove into the Wire in the past week and just finished season 1. Began season 2 last night and wondering why I never watched it sooner! McNulty/DeAngelo Barksdale/Herc & Carver >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.

    Bad: Moving to a new place (same city, different rental) next week. Been packing lately. I fucking hate the process of changing residences, just a lot of tedious labor goes in to it.

    Ugly: Been particularly withdrawn and antisocial in recent weeks. Questioning
    what I even want out of social relationships atm. I don’t seek to
    initiate social events very often and attempt to ‘meet people’ or make
    new friends even less frequently. Been avoiding social shit with friends in my area of late because I’ve preferred to be by myself at home… which is kind of a shitty thing to do, since two of ’em are about to move faaaaaaaar away and I may never see either one again (or at least, anytime soon).
    Only people I interact with regularly outside of work are my roommate, my ex (who recently returned to the US after a bad go of it abroad, and who I may or may not get back together with depending on whether she can find a job in my area) and a handful of assorted close friends from different places & times in my life. I’m not unhappy at present; far from it, I’m actually very happy most of the time… and yet I can’t help but feel like I’m ‘doing something wrong’ or ‘living incorrectly.’

    • there’s an unnamed Toileteer who has been teaching me about people who are introverted. is it possible that you’re just becoming more of an introvert?

      • Vault Dweller

        I’m kinda weird on that front. ‘Extroverted introvert’ or something of that sort. I stay quiet around people I don’t know or don’t actively like… but in an environment where I’m comfortable and like most of my company, I talk a ton to the folks around me. My friends probably don’t think of me as being very introverted… and folks I don’t know probably do think so.

        I wonder that too. Used to be more introverted than even the recent uptick when I was younger. Then got more extroverted (somewhat out of necessity!) and now seemingly ebbing back towards ‘don’t need much human interaction.’ The thing that makes me actively scrutinize it, though, is that young introvert me was often depressed and suicidal. I’m wondering if, with this return of massive social apathy, that I’m also perhaps gearing up for a new run of depression (haven’t really been ‘depressed’ on any kind of consistent basis in… 5 years.)

        • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

          Hopefully that’s not the case.

        • we’ll keep an eye out, so that your Charisma doesn’t drop too low.

    • I had to get my front airbag in my old car replaced two fucking times because of that metal shard shit, ugh.

      • Vault Dweller

        Takata, bruh!

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      Sounds about like when I first moved here. Slowly I’m starting to get out of my shell 2 1/2 years later, but not by much. Big difference between here and back home is the lack of a center around here and that sense of everything to do at any time I want, that you get in a major city. It’s not a small town here, but not quite the same.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      I can’t help but feel like I’m ‘doing something wrong’ or ‘living incorrectly.’

      I experience that more often than I’d like to admit.

    • hieronymus bossk

      I was scrolling down and thought your avatar was Hank Venture for a moment and was going to make a reference, but now I have been shutteth down.

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls
  • GOOD: Finally getting used to my new car. Girlfriend bought a house, so we finally have a place to live when our lease ends. Dark Souls 3 is still incredible.
    BAD: Bills. Life is too fucking expensive, bruhs.
    UGLY: The impending move. I fucking hate moving so much. I’ve looked a hiring movers but that shit is soooooo expensive.

    • Vault Dweller

      I thought about movers for a minute too man… then decided I couldn’t justify spending hundreds just because I hate the amount of packing and carrying I’m bout to have to do 🙁

    • BALLS ROLL

      marry that girl
      also, rent a uhaul

    • TRY “TWO CAVEMEN AND A MAMMOTH” MOVING COMPANY!!!

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Good: I’m 21 now, got paid yesterday, down to 288 pounds

    Bad: Old Navy, my non existent love life.

    Ugly: the lack of hours I get from Old Navy

    • Waynecro

      Congrats on dropping some weight, dude! Keep it up!

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Love life is overrated. Hone thyself first. Seek fitness and creative endeavors. Love will follow.

      • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

        Hone thyself on the top bunk.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    I love the new Gojira. It’s going to be their Siren Charms.

  • nbm02ss

    Pretty standard week with no complaints. In a really good mood at the moment so just going to leave this here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OC5Zlvgj8Xs

    • Keanu

      I just saw these guys with Melt Banana and Napalm Death in Toronto on Tuesday night!

  • sweetooth0

    GOOD: got my replacement needle from JICO so I’m back to the blissful land of vinyl. Now I can listen to that unending clang of the drum on Legion of Andromeda’s Iron Scorn in it’s intended analog form!! My brother’s in town on his way between his winter job at the ski hill to his summer job at the restaurant in Waskesiu. Work was missed this last week, beers were crushed, sleep was diminished. Having a BBQ with a bunch of friends tonight. Got my Dead Infection article up and I actually have some ideas for some others.

    BAD: Bills suck. Not getting paid back by your friends, also suckage.

    UGLY: the weather today sucks ass, but I already bought the burgers and buns, so fuck it, BBQ anyway.

    • glad you finally got your stylus! im sure its nicer than mine (which is still p nice!)

      • sweetooth0

        I’d definitely buy from JICO again. Perhaps in the near future I might even order a backup or two just so I have them on hand should I need one again. Really excellent sound out of it.

        • i bet. mine is a bit midrange and treble heavy, i would like a more balanced one myself

  • CyberneticOrganism

    GOOD: Weather. Friday. Beer. Discussing songs to jam.

    BAD: Back pain outta nowhere. WTF u cock.

    UGLY: The neighbor’s loud children.

    http://45.media.tumblr.com/9d589b4df9740c09efecbcca7093cd6a/tumblr_o613p4AbtL1tc8acco1_500.gif

  • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

    Good: Heavy-fucking-Metal!! Beer, at the moment Alaskan Smoked Porter. Friends around the toilet, you guys, and one or two ladies, are the best!
    Ugly: reading about Gojira changing face. I’ve been meaning to get into them, but reading this is a tad upsetting. That won’t stop me from enjoying early wprks however.

    • Lacertilian

      Try From Mars To Sirius.

      • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

        Will do!

  • CyberneticOrganism
    • CyberneticOrganism

      [close-up on worn, dusty shoes]

    • OR the kid grows up to be in the military.
      oops, 5FDP video

      • CyberneticOrganism

        [PROTAGONIST pulls worn dog tags from ripped jean pocket]

        • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

          *tightens his Rambo headband and puts his Rambo knife in his boot sheath*

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      Or every other Sigur Ros video.

    • i never ever see ground this flat

      • more beer

        Head west and you will.

        • no thanks

          • more beer

            Your choice. I didn’t’ say you had to stay west by the way.

          • i don trust flatlanders

          • more beer

            The elevation where I am is a mile.

          • well, the entire area is higher there.

          • more beer

            Yes it is. But the Rocky Mountains are only a half hour away.

          • id like to go, from what i know, our mountains are a bit more wooded and rugged, yours are more . . . rocky and dry

          • more beer

            It’s mostly pine tree varieties here. I don’t think they are drier in the winter. They get feet of snow in the mountains pretty regularly. Almost all winter long. Skiing is a huge industry here.

          • its a big thing here too, though this last winter the heat ruined our slopes

          • more beer

            They are still skiing here. Some places until June.

          • not this winter here. maybe up in Beech.

            we had that one big snow, that was it. global warming all in this mother fucker.

            our state line with tennessee is closed due to wildfire atm (but you dont see THAT on the news)

          • more beer

            We got 2 feet of snow last weekend. But April is usually our snowiest month. I have heard nothing about wildfires there. I don’t really watch the news. But I do read the paper and not a mention of that.

          • theres a regional burning ban (everyone burns brush here in the spring), some florida or south carolina idiot set half the ridge on fire in Haywood a week or two ago

          • more beer

            The burning bans will be here by June.

          • yeah, we usually wouldnt have any til may. its already +12F above average for now (like it was all winter). the slopes here in Maggie had to close this winter because they couldnt even keep blown snow on the ground

          • more beer

            The mountains burning down sucks though.

          • more beer

            Believe me I know. There are crazy wildfires here and in New Mexico where I used to live. Next month tornado season will be starting here too. That’s always fun.

          • flatland portions of our state deal with hurricanes and tornados. not where we are tho.

          • more beer

            Hurricanes aren’t a concern here. But I have seen tornados touch down on a couple of my jobsites.

          • fuck hurricanes and tornados

          • more beer

            Yes sir. You have a good evening my friend I have to go get ready to see my buddies band.

          • careful man

          • more beer

            Careful of what?

          • also, when i complain about how dry and hot it is, its because i live next to the (i think) second most precipitous county in america

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Oddly enough, there hasn’t been a hurricane here the last couple of years. When I very first lived here though as a teen, it was always one or two hurricanes every single summer. And even more odd is that Hurricane Sandy hit everywhere else but here on it’s way up north. It literally curved around VA like it was saying “gah, fuck this place, I’m saving my strength for an NYC trip!”.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Even though burning mountains definitely sounds black metal as fuck!

          • more beer

            It does.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Hey now, Chicagoans are flatlanders, Hee Haw! >:-(

      • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

        You know how I know you’ve never been to the Midwest?

        • ive been in parts of it but usually just passing thru. flat land gives me vertigo

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Weird.

  • RJA

    Good: Mailmanbro came twice this week.
    Bad: I took pictures of them on my new smart phone but the files are apparently too large to upload? I need you young’uns to tell me what to do.
    The records were 3 Ulver Re-Issues, Murg, Destroyer 666’s new one, 1st Grave Ritual.

    • JWEG

      Android and iOS devices tend to take pictures that are like 3000×4000 so that when they shrink they’ll be higher resolution than if they’d just been taken as smaller-than-a-computer-screen. The file size is exponential compared to the resolution width, though, so it’s usually way bigger a file than is useful.

      If you’ve got the phone plugged in via USB, and can explore the folders on the device you should be able to open them and edit them in a site like Pixlr and save right to the phone. If not move them onto your PC then edit.

      Just make them smaller in width and height and save as around 90% quality.

      • RJA

        man, that sort of sounds like work! It sure sounds better to post pictures instead of words when you’ve got new records though, so I guess I will have to do it. thanks.

  • Waynecro

    I’ve always been kind of meh about Gojira, so I’m not devastated by the shitty new song.

    Good: Tomorrow’s postworkout meal will be a hamburger made with a RAMEN-NOODLE BUN!!!
    Bad: Work. I’m not editing; I’m attempting to translate gibberish.
    Ugly: Because of several days of rain we had recently, the backyard is overrun with weeds. The grass is still dead or dying. Nature is flipping me the bird.

    • The lack of grammar, syntax, and spelling in our schools will be the downfall of this nation.

      • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

        With Twitter already leading the march. Twitter = where 2nd grade English lessons go to die.

        • i accept that slang is the norm for internets but twatter usually looks like an unbroken Enigma code

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            It looks like a Google translation from hell most of the time. It’s like ten different languages threw up in a bucket and slapped it on paper Pollock style.

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      Misread that as ‘the backyard is overrun with weed’.

      • Waynecro

        If that were the case, I’m sure my dope-smoking old-hippy neighbors would be happy to come over and take it all away.

        • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

          For just a quarter ounce a day, you too can sponsor a Toileteer in need.

          • more beer

            Fuck that’s 40 bucks a day here more in most other places. For that I can sponsor 100 kids in Africa who flys in their noses for a whole year.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            African kids who fly in their noses? Now that I’d pay to see! Never quite seen someone who can fly inside their own nose, but damn if I’m not jealous.

          • more beer

            Watch those old donate money commercials. There is always an African kid with flies in their nose.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Haha I remember those as a kid, with Sally Struthers’ fat ass.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjO7QMP4h-Y

          • more beer

            Yep those commercials.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Has anyone seen her after those commercials stopped airing? I think they might’ve broke down and turned her into several orders of short ribs.

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

    Holy fucking Godzilla in a chicken basket, that’s horrible. Attila is the Martin Shkreli of the metal world.

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm

      And these are people who call black metal edgy

      • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

        And probably listen to Crunkcore.

  • Stanley

    Good: In a little less than an hour, I’ll be heading to the airport for a three week cycling trip in Africa.

    Bad: If I’m not back in three weeks, I’ve either been eaten by a cheetah or hacked to death with a machete. In either eventuality, it was nice knowing you all!

    Long live the bowl!

    • JWEG

      If you return safely, I’m almost definitely now going to repeat the Dad-Level Pun that you “cheetah’d death”.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Holy shit that’s awesome, good luck & enjoy.

    • Bring me back a baby elephant!

    • Lacertilian

      I think I’ve worked out your profession, you work for some kind of hybrid Travel/Holiday & Cycling /Marathon TV show?
      That’s the only possible answer I can muster as to how you can have so many holidays.

      • Stanley

        Close. Actually I visited the Backroads travel website yesterday to check on opportunities but they have already assigned their trip leaders for this year. I guess you need to apply in November for the following year.

    • more beer

      Have a good trip Stanley.

    • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

      Have fun Stanley!

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

    More good (to counteract the sheer disappointment of the new Gojira after hearing it last night):

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XUN0Bc0DrQ&index=25&list=PLmjDNgbx14cCnXn28EaST3NlODoCy22uW

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

    GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RE2MF2hDIQQ

    • CyberneticOrganism

      NOOOOOO

      • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

        Oh, you knew he was going to respond at some point or other! He responded within less than 12 hours after Prince’s death, though, which is quick as fuck even by his standards.
        You know it’s not going to be long before Randy Blythe ‘weighs in’ and gives us a cover of Darling Nikki.

    • Keanu

      He just happened to be performing at First Avenue in Minneapolis, the venue where Purple Rain was filmed and where Prince played a ton of shows. Seems like a fitting time and place to play a tribute to the guy, no?

      • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

        I suppose. Corey Taylor still sucks, though, and it’s annoying as hell how he weighs in on EVERYTHING, even when it’s blatantly obvious that he has no idea what he’s talking about/obviously doesn’t care about unless it’s for publicity.

        • Keanu

          Completely agree and if the show was in Iceland or something I wouldn’t have said a word.

      • BobLoblaw

        Thats what i thought as well. Not sure how this is weighing in either.

    • sweet coffee mug too

      • Yeah, an extra little bonus!

    • man, i saw a guy w a big Hellhammer back patch the last show i went to

        • i thot about starting my own vest but i donno if i can get into it. his HH patch was twice the size your bathory patch

          • Stanley

            Do it. You know you want to.

            Patches are cheap and they’re not hard to find at all.

          • does it count if my old lady sews my patches?

          • Stanley

            Nope. You have to bleed for the cause. And trust me, you will.

          • pass

          • Stanley

            It’s just a small prick.

          • thats what she said

          • more beer

            Or you could use a sewing machine.

          • Stanley

            In hindsight, I should have just got one on eBay. Sews much better and takes 5 mins per patch rather than a couple of hours. Although, it’s kinda nice to listen to a song, sew a stitch and swig a mouthful of ale. I’m in no hurry.

          • more beer

            I bring my friends old lady a bottle of wine and she will sew any patch I want on mine. Then go drink beer with her husband.

          • Stanley

            Eureka!

          • more beer

            But I do help them with things that I am good at. Fixing the car and getting him from jail after getting a DUI. I am not good with the homemaker types of things.

          • lol

        • Count_Breznak

          Weren’t you going to patch up some trailerpants ?

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Would it be a bad idea to buy a Minolta Maxxum 7000 off ebay? It’s one of the most important film camera and I found one for 30 bucks with a lens and a flash.

    • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

      Could be a pretty cool buy but I’d guess film and processing costs would get you in the long run maybe.

    • Stanley

      I’ll sell you a Nikon N70.

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        My sister has a Nikon. She never liked it. I like Minolta because they’re not a brand anymore. I love defunct stores and brands. I have since I was really little.

        • Stanley

          Trust me. The N70 is defunct.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Go digital. Unless you’re a film buff.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    The girl I like stared dating someone. I wish that it wasn’t so hard to find someone

    • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

      The trick is to stop looking. Love finds you when you least expect it.

      • more beer

        I have told him that numerous times.

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        I wish I wasn’t so impatient. It’s so painful to watch all my friends have relationships and look at how single I am.

        • more beer

          I am going to tell you this one more time. Most woman want a guy who makes them feel safe. That doesn’t mean being a super nice guy. They don’t want that. They can sense if you are needy and a pushover. Don’t try so hard it tends to reek of desperation act indifferent towards them. For whatever reason that seems to work. You’re 21 you shouldn’t even care if you’re in a relationship. You should be trying to bang the girl you like and all of her friends. You know what I did for my 21st birthday. I got drunk had a threesome with my girl and her friend. That’s how you should be rolling.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            “You should be trying to bang the girl you like and all of her friends. ”

            Goddamn right! And yes, women like a man with confidence, and you gotta show it. Some dating tips:
            Take her out to a fancy dinner, like Long John Silver’s, and wipe your mouth with the armpit end of your shirt. Always steer the conversation back to how big your dick is/anything regarding your dick, no matter what. Tell her parents about how good of a lay she is the first time you meet them, and invite the mom to a threesome. Tell her dad “man, too bad you;re her dad, you’re missing out on some bomb ass twat, pops!”, and he’ll lovingly nod in approval, knowing his daughter got with a winner. Plan a weekend together at someplace exotic, like Camden, NJ, Stockton, CA, or San Salvador.

          • more beer

            Shit Long John Silver’s is getting way to fancey. At his age it so be so easy for to have girls getting naked for hi.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            If she wasn’t dating someone I would try that. You have a good point though about acting indifferent. I’ve tried to be a nice guy and it hasn’t worked. Maybe a new method is needed.

          • BobLoblaw

            Dont dwell on it and you will project that naturally. Fuck it dude.

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      Hard to find someone to date/fall in love with, so much easier to find someone to find, fuck and call it a night. Being single definitely has it’s perks.

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    Most things are good. My current read is bustling along in agreeably creepy fashion, got about 55 pages left and I’m not certain it’ll entirely stick the landing, but unless it goes completely off the rails it’ll be a solid entry in the win column. After a bit of a sluggish spell I’m more motivated at work and getting good stuff done, its a little monotonous, a bit tiring, but more satisfying than it has been for a while. And I’m spending a lot of happy spare time listening to black metal on a second wave or throwback kick.

    On the minus side I’ve really been slacking on watching movies lately, the movies are there but the energy/concentration/drive less so. Falling behind personal standards. And while a lot of the time I’m pretty upbeat, for various reasons I’m having spells of gloom and uncertainty with increasing frequency, without much recourse other than riding them out until they stop. Oh well…

  • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

    Fact: ‘From Mars to Sirius’ is an unfuckwithable album.
    Also fact: This new song is pretty “meh”.

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      Yes, and yes.

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

    RIP, Lonnie Mack (who passed away Wednesday).

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkBqTWBIkKw