Flush It Friday: Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!

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If you listen to the Toilet Ov Hell podcast (and shame on you if you don’t) you would know that we are planning a holiday gift exchange. We are sending each other gifts and will open them on air, describing all the ridiculous things purchased in the name of friendship.  I have my fingers crossed in hopes of Randall giving us an “I’M WITH POSER” shirt with an arrow pointing straight up and Joe giving us gluten free, free range, organic mosh shorts.

We shouldn’t have all the fun, though. You too can enjoy the thrill of giving gifts and being thanked on air by the toiletiest podcast on the internet. Heck, you can even send stuff to any of the TovH writers if you want. Send a message to toiletofhell@gmail.com asking for our addresses and then send us some goodies. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. Here are some suggestions:

A lock of George Clarke’s hair
A framed picture of your favorite Jose Mangin quote
A picture of you listening to a Darkthrone or Mayhem song on Youtube
50 cents of Shake’N Bake coupons
A medley of Tom Warrior’s best “Ughs!”
The gift of STEEL
Video evidence of you giving Kid Rock an atomic wedgie
A copy of Atlas Shrugged signed by Aaron Lewis, Phil Labonte, and Tripp Eisen

What better way to thank the people who entertain you? Actually, piles of money would be nice, but y’know, one step at a time. Have you purchased all your holiday gifts yet? Let us know in the comments.

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  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain
    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      Getting in the spirit of things, I see!

  • Eliza

    This’ll be fun.

  • Elegant Gazing Globe

    I’m gonna send all of you some nice steel lockers…..COD

  • Edward/Breegrodamus™

    GOOD: I have my last class of my first semester of graduate school tonight.

    BAD: my paltry “break” is jam packed already and will move too quickly.

  • ME GORAK™✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    GOOD/BAD/UGLY: CATCHING UP ALL GOOD METAL MISSED OUT THIS YEAR!!!!!!!
    METAL: LIKE THIS ONE
    https://youtu.be/_o2ieEEoRIU

  • more beer

    I got beer from both Boss and Vlad Putin. Denver Black Sky tomorrow. I have friends coming into town from all over the place. It should be a very fun weekend.

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      Cheers, brother!

      • more beer

        Check your email and get back to me. Cheers to you as well.

        • Señor Jefe El Rosa

          You check yours first 😉

          • more beer

            I checked it just now cool. Last time I checked you hadn’t responded. I will get it out tomorrow morning.

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            Excellent!

          • more beer

            I think you will certainly like it. I haven’t gotten to the bomber you sent me. Probably in the next day or two. I did drink the one I got from Vlad from Allagash Brewing. It was outstanding.

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            Let me know what yu think!

            I, too, received a brew from Vladimir. Tonight seems proper to enjoy it.

          • more beer

            I will. I don’t think it will be tonight. Once one of my friends from out of town gets here we are going to head to Black Sky. To meet some other friends. I was impressed with the beer he got me. So I am sure yours will be very good as well.

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            Black Sky>>>>>>>>>>>>

            Tell Harry hi for me and have a good time!

          • more beer

            If he is there I will. I know without a doubt, I will see him tomorrow. Thanks I will have fun. I always do.

          • Óðinn

            Wait. Vladimir sends people beer? That’s fuckin awesome.

    • Óðinn
      • more beer

        Will be starting that soon.

  • CyberneticOrganism

    Much props to the TOH photoshop department on the header.

  • Howard Dean

    Good: I can’t fucking wait to eat dinner tonight. I don’t even know what I’m going to have, but I am going to enjoy the fuck out of it. It’s the little things…

    Bad: When you put half the recommended amount of water into a can of condensed soup and that shit is STILL too fucking watery. Go on with this watery ghetto-ass cream of mushroom shit, Campbell’s. Next time I’m just gonna eat that shit all condensed and coagulated.

    Ugly: Stochastic calculus and Brownian motion. The stuff of nightmares:

    https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6d/Translational_motion.gif

    https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/51/Brownianmotion5particles150frame.gif

  • Guacamole Jim

    I’ll send you a pic of my STEEL which is more like skin and less like STEEL because it’s my dick

    merry christmas fuckers

  • tigeraid

    The Good: Year end lists are always fun. My list is fun.
    The Bad: Most other people’s year end lists. Which are objectively wrong.
    The Ugly: I have to fucking work tomorrow fuck December fuck the holidays fuck you fuck everyone.

    • Eliza

      That’s the spirit!

      • Edward/Breegrodamus™

        I was gonna say the Exact. Same. Thing.

    • Rob M

      Its nice that youre embracing the season of goodwill so completely

      • more beer

        It’s they spirit of giving. He just happens to be giving fuck you’s to everyone.

  • tigeraid

    A gift for the Dubya? Or just you two?

  • Good: Week is over, going to the gf’s work holiday party 2nite at some sweet art gallery/museum event space thing I’ve never been to. Doggo is almost 100% recovered from her surgery, and she knows it. She’s starting to get ballsy by doing stuff like jumping over the entire couch.

    Bad: This fucking cold weather, bruh. I had to pay $400 for a custom mouth guard because I grind my teeth like a motherfucker at night and it’s starting to have a terrible effect on my jaw joints.

    Ugly: I look and sound like I need to be shoved in a locker when I wear this fucking mouth guard.

    • mouth guard fucknerd solidarity! I got one a couple months back. Have way fewer headaches now.

  • JWEG

    My immediate family have pretty much abandoned gift-giving, so unless I organize a small Secret Santa I have only my Birthday as a guarantee of material gains.

    That said, when it gets closer to that actual date you and members of my family both can expect my usual annual exhortation that you donate time or money to a certain kind of charity even just once in 2017, and I’ll be happy even if I get nothing else.

    For you my Infernal Bowl-based family, even if you just think about doing it then forget, at least I will have got The Thought out there.

    My family don’t get quite the same wiggle room.

  • Rob M

    Good: Ive just about got this year end list thing nailed…

    Bad: Time to buy the heating oil again

    Ugly: Seriously, did you see that fucking picture I put up earlier today? That shit will haunt my nightmares

    Metal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPw0qkYpswo

    • Eliza

      Where did you even find that picture?

      • Rob M

        Daily random shit on The Chive

        • Eliza

          I don’t think I’ll pay The Chive a visit anytime soon.

          • Guacamole Jim

            This is correct.

          • Rob M

            I just cant unsee it now

    • tigeraid

      We grabbed our heating oil when it was a bit cheaper in October.

      But after all the horror stories I’ve heard about oil furnaces, plus the LOUD AS FUCK pump on the thing, and our insurance premiums, I’m strongly considering switching to propane in the next year or two.

  • GOOOODD: https://teitanblood.bandcamp.com/album/accursed-skin

    Bad: Christmas music

    Ugly: CHRISTMAS MUSIC

  • JWEG

    By the way, there are still about 30 items on my unfiltered AOTY list; but I think my Top 5 by a fair long stretch are:

    Moonsorrow – Finnish Words

    Anciients – The Void Has No Indoor Voice

    Opeth – Not Old Opeth But Still Good Opeth

    DEMOGORGON – Conundrum.InnigoMontoya’sBusiness.Snoo (what’s snoo? I dunno, what’snoo with you?)

    Auroch – Mewed Books
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/736d58bd1af925c14c9f2c46cc815d65bda67516afbf5fabb5c720852a938b5d.jpg

  • Dave Vincent’s Perm
    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      Most criminally underrated TON album.

      • Dave Vincent’s Perm

        I like it because it sounds like Carnivore and Carnivore were a good.
        The later ToN stuff was still great, just different.

        • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

          I own SDaH, Bloody Kisses, October Rust and WCD and I love all those albums. I just think SDaH is just as good as their later classics. On SDaH they indeed sound like a more experimental version of Carnivore, but that distinct ToN vibe is already present on the album as well.

        • more beer

          I’ve seen both Carnivore and Type O. I Must say I liked Carnivore much more.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Type O was a more experimental and atmospheric band in nature. Carnivore was more of a no bullshit, stripped down kind of band. I think you’re more of a fan of the more old school, zero bullshit kind of music when it comes to metal, crossover and hardcore.

          • more beer

            Yea that last sentence pretty much sums it up.

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY
  • I’m just excited for Shrines of Paralysis to become the TovH readers’ pick for AOTY

    • Pretty sure that’s gonna be Blood Incantation

      • KyleJMcBride

        Was looking like Vektor got the most votes last I checked.

  • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

    GOOD: ToE, SoD and Silence of The Lambs have been ruling this day.

    BAD: As the year comes to a close, it wants to remind me how much ot has sucles, in incredibly imaginary ways. There’s a lot I could choose rn, but going with the less personal – I am not allowed to sit for one more week, and haven’t since last. This due to a surgery on a… inconvenient place. In the meanwhile I’m entertaining myself by waiting for a call from my doctor to see if I have cancer or not. Don’t you just love life?

    UGLY: A bloody, freshly operated posterior.

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      Good vibes, Beargod, good vibes

    • Damn bear. That’s heavy. Here’s hoping for the best

    • Waynecro

      I’m crossing my digits for you, bearbro.

    • Rob M

      Im crossing Waynes digits for you as well dude

      • Waynecro

        I DON’T LIKE TO BE TOUCHED!!!

        • Rob M

          Dont be so selfish, its for a good cause

          • Waynecro

            That’s exactly what my ex-girlfriend said before she took my virginity.

          • more beer

            Well that should have been a good cause. Unless she gave you an STD. That should have made you somewhat happy.

          • Waynecro

            I only regret it about 70 percent of the time these days.

          • more beer

            Is this the same chick you live with?

          • Waynecro

            Yeah. On the plus side, she’s never here these days. I only see her when she drops off or picks up the dog.

          • more beer

            Well that is good you don’t have to see her much.

          • Waynecro

            Indeed. She still pays her half of the mortgage, and I never see her. I can’t really complain about that.

          • more beer

            Her paying her half of the mortgage is the most important thing.

          • Waynecro

            That can’t last forever, though. We’ll see how she ends up wanting to resolve that issue.

    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      Here’s hoping for the best man.

    • Fuck man that sucks. Horns Crossed

    • more beer

      I wish you the best man.

  • Señor Jefe El Rosa

    GOOD: Beer and more beer. Vlad the mad russian beer dude.

    GOODER: I’ve been listening to Latino/chicano hip hop, the proper kind, mind you, all day

    GOODEREST: this song. So dang catchy

    https://youtu.be/EiszP9p7tjM

    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      Doesn’t get more old school than this one.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZ8AS300WH4

      • Señor Jefe El Rosa

        Heck yes!!! Listened to Kid Frost as well, that dude rules

        • more beer

          Yep solid old school rapper.

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            I was amazed at his voice and pacing, so calm and intense.

  • Waynecro

    Good: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3mk5nQNTcw
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cds67Dy85SE
    Bad: Most other things.
    Ugly: On closer inspection, the image on one of the band shirts I ordered recently looks kind of like a dick.

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      Picture of shirt plz!

      • Waynecro

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6d12b5737f0cb30a825c9f45257db5242985a3ebef4b6d5dddfa30da3bb628e5.jpg
        I honestly don’t remember the thumbnail I saw of the shirt when I ordered it showing such a clear mushroom cap. I just wanted the shirt with that old-school logo on it!

        • Abradolf Lincler

          thatsapenis.gif

          • Waynecro

            I’m so ashamed. Maybe I should gift it to the TovH.

        • RJA

          Looks like a bug with a top hat to me!

          • Waynecro

            I wish it were a bug with a top hat! All I can see now is a big ol’ dick made of stacked human corpses. Piles of corpses are fine, but I’m not wearing any dicks.

        • Señor Jefe El Rosa

          Hahhahaha! That’s a penis.

          • Waynecro

            Yeah. Yeah, it is… Too bad I didn’t notice that before I ordered it.

  • Bad: Out of work for two weeks with a foot injury.
    Good: Plenty of spare time to write and suck at Dr. Mario.
    Ugly: Manowar

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      READY YOUR BLADE!!!

    • If we find a way to play Dr. Mario multiplayer long distance, wanna tango?

  • The Tetrachord of Archytas

    Good: bunch a work and working out this week feeling pretty good. Also year end lists are fun.

    Bad: Some really shittay recording sessions this week

    Ugly: eh I guess I’m trying to drink less beer over the holiday season so that kinda sucks

  • AeonsOvChaos

    GOOD: Beer and wine with friends in these holidays, we all hate Christmas and this feeling makes us more close. No shitty presents, no fake brotherhood, not the typical and disgusting yuletide hypocrisy.

    BAD: The cold.

    UGLY: Christmas

    After all this year in being a reader and a listener of what the Toilet gave me was good most of the times, bye!

    • If you don’t mind sharing…what part of the world do you call home?

      • Óðinn

        Hell

  • Señor Jefe El Rosa
  • KyleJMcBride

    Did somebody say vintage Hip Hop?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dS4RpBR0Zn0

    • KyleJMcBride
      • KyleJMcBride

        And on the other side of town was a kid named Flash…

      • Señor Jefe El Rosa

        BDP>>>>>>

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      I believe I may have mentioned it

  • Kevin Nash’s Jackknife

    I’m sending Dubs and Boss the Ross presents.

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      Do what now?

  • Kevin Nash’s Jackknife

    I will also be accepting gifts. Anything anyone here would think i want will do.

    • KyleJMcBride

      I accept gifts 24/7/365

  • KyleJMcBride
  • Taylor

    Good: the years end lists are showing me some cool stuff I missed. I also bought a harmonica and a small song booklet to play from. This is now how I spend my life.

    Ugly but kind of good: at my retail job I foolishly volunteered to extend my Fridays to eleven hours indefinitely and to pick up Wednesdays for the next month.

    Bad: my harmonica playing skills. I should not touch instruments that are not called ‘piano’

  • KyleJMcBride

    This should be be scheduled as a controlled substance. I could eat a gallon of it.(rfi)

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/63160bfd976d74e70036dd52e8395e0eef6aa008835567787b42d17b40080611.png

    • Das a rill good one.
      I would out The Americone Dream right after as well

  • Óðinn
  • Óðinn
    • KyleJMcBride

      wha?

  • Óðinn
  • Óðinn
    • KyleJMcBride

      Think I’ll stick with old fashioned tuners.

  • Óðinn