Flush It Friday: Flush Cancer

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The time has come again. Sexta-feira, Viernes, Freitag. Friday. Whatever you call it, this is the day in which we flush down the bummer, the dreadful and the horrendous with the fury of a thousand tides. We then proceed to share the glories and accolades of our victories in this gathering of champions. Also, beer.

THE BAD: I shall commence the flushing ritual by talking about a very personal issue. Most of the regulars here have probably heard me talk about my grandmother. She is my favorite person in the world, someone who has lived with me since the beginning of my life. In fact, she was the person to officially raise me – if you take into consideration how much time my parents spent working in order to provide for us.

Last year, she was diagnosed with colorectal adenocarcinoma, for which she was submitted to a rectosigmoidectomy surgery. Thankfully, the tumor was located in such a position that a colostomy bag was not necessary. Everything seemed fine and she began the clinical follow-up that every cancer patient undergoes after treatment.

Recently, a chest MRI showed two suspect images in her lungs. In order to confirm the diagnosis, her doctor ordered a PET-scan. It showed that not only both of those masses were metastatic, there was also another one on the liver. She will reluctantly receive chemotherapy, which is yet to begin. Even though she is an otherwise healthy 79 year old lady and there is perspective for cure, I am worried about her quality of life. If this is the disease that takes her, I just hope that the last days of her life are not painful nor uncomfortable.

THE GOOD: I have been spending a lot of time at home since 2015 started, so that means I get to be with her a lot. We have an afternoon coffee session daily, and seeing her laugh at my idiot jokes is what makes my day. Another good thing is that I understand mortality as a natural occurence. I know I’ll miss her tremendously, but the only thing that concerns me is her well-being. As long as she is comfy and smiling I’m good.

Music has been an integral part of my life for as long as I can remember. Being able to not only write about it but discuss it on a daily basis with like-minded individuals is just beautiful. To some it might be “just a blog” but dicking around the Toilet ov Hell quickly became an addiction. I’d like to thank you all for turning this into something special.

I am not only burning fat but I am also getting swole. Expect full Spartan by the end of the year.

THE UGLY: An eternal tug-of-war between my receding hairline and my sex life. Bear in mind I am only 23000 years old. You’d think that ancient deities would be better off, but nah. All we get these days are so-bad-it’s-good film adaptations.


 

Your turn has come, mortal. Grab a seat around this shiny Porcelain Throne, flush your tribulations. Raise a glass in honor of the better things in life. This is Flush It Friday.

(Photo VIA)

  • CyberneticOrganism

    Sorry to hear about your grandmother, fish god. Do not take the mom jokes below personally.

    GOOD: It’s Friday. Beer stock is good. Potential band photos. Your mom.

    BAD: Plumbing problems & costs. Work stress. Too many things I want to do but don’t have enough time for (not including your mom).

    UGLY: The continued winter weather. Your mom (mostly your mom).

    • Scrimm

      I got a bandmember who is all but refusing to take a photo. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Replace him with a life-sized cutout of Danny DeVito.

        • Lacertilian

          ..

        • Scrimm

          Something like that might be in the cards. Seriously who has such a problem with taking a damn picture?

          • Dagon

            Tell him to fuck off and start a black metal band.

          • Scrimm

            I want to do a solo BM project at some point anyways.

          • Dagon

            Will you take pictures for it?

          • Scrimm

            YES. lolbuttz ones too.

          • Lacertilian

            I don’t like it but I usually begrudgingly submit.
            These days, I don’t give a fuck.

          • Scrimm

            I don’t like it either, but In trying to take our band seriously I’ll gladly do it.

          • Based Tapir

            Maybe he believes that the camera will steal his soul?

          • Lacertilian

            Explains why most of the people I see walking around taking photos of themselves all the fucking time are completely devoid of soul.

          • Guacamole Jim

            TRUTH

          • Scrimm

            Could be. I think someone likes being difficult.

          • rhymes with “Tapir”

          • Scrimm

            Ah jeez that’s probably a retty good comparison.

      • CyberneticOrganism
        • Crucifictorious

          • Paris Hilton

            My slam band’s name is Crucicunt.

      • Lacertilian

        Mask?

      • Tell him to shut the fuck up and deal with it. It’s gotta get done.

        • Scrimm

          DId, still whining, it’s getting fucking old actually.

          • more beer

            Take one from blackbeards playbook. Duct tape him throw him in a trunk bring him to take the picture.

          • Scrimm

            Also a good possibility.

          • more beer

            Thanks for the good laugh my friend. That just made a good night even better.

          • Scrimm

            Awesome!

      • Photoshop him in.

      • Give us a picture of the rest of you and we’ll have a photo chop contest to put someone else in.

        • Dagon

          If only one could upvote a comment a thousand times

        • Scrimm

          I JUST MIGHT DO THAT.

      • chop in Bdubsbro

        • Scrimm

          You win, that’s what I’m doing.

      • CT-12

        Have him wear a bag on his head that says “douche”. Or, just a bag on his head.

    • KJM

      Height/Weight: Your Mom
      Interests: Your Mom, Your Sister
      Date Of Birth: p3n15

    • Based Tapir

      Send that winter weather here. It’s way too warm here.

      • Trust me you want no part of it. Take it fron someone who’s lived in this crap his entire life.

        • Based Tapir

          Dude, I love cold and snow. I used to live in really northern finland and it as cold there.

          • Lacertilian

            Exactly, Too cold>>>>too hot.

          • Enemy Of The Free World

            Man I miss Northern Finland

          • Based Tapir

            Helsinki poser.

          • Enemy Of The Free World

            Am Not!

          • Based Tapir

            I can’t hear you over my Homo Erotic Passion Pop!

          • Enemy Of The Free World

            You Would(n’t)!

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            What do you mean by that?

          • Based Tapir

            New Steven Wilson songs have been tagged Homo Erotic Passion Pop on Last.fm.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            Those were good songs.

          • Based Tapir

            Those are good words.

          • Lacertilian

            I Miss Finland also

          • Based Tapir

            Have you been here or are you trying to pull our dicks?

          • Lacertilian

            I’m pulling your prehensile snout

          • Enemy Of The Free World

            Huh? *Googles* Oh her! Didn’t recognize her with all that clothing on.

          • Paris Hilton

            Any Finnish bros out there want to hook me up with my Finnish waifu? <3 Her and I together will have super athlete children that WILL be Super Saiyans!

          • JVVG

            I don’t know if I’d learn Finnish for her.

            …But I’d certainly let her Finnish first.

          • Cool let’s swap residences. I’d rather fry in 100 degree heat.

          • Based Tapir

            You won’t be frying in here. It’s like 1 degree celcius and that’s way too warm for me.

          • Lacertilian

            In that case, don’t ever visit Australia.

    • Virgil the Ghost Poet

      Plumbing problems suck! What Septic tank?

  • KJM

    Very sorry to hear. Good vibes sent.

  • Good: I just finished quarterly goals with a month to spare.
    Bad: Diminishing page views at this here toilet
    Ugly: CyberneticOrganism’s mom.

    • Dagon

      Damn, I hope your spare month includes lots of this

      http://www.lovethispic.com/uploaded_images/22705-Outdoor-Jacuzzi-.jpg

      • Good looking Latinas in hot tubs? Me too. Unfortunately, work never ends. Gotta prep for the next quarter.

        • Dagon

          But if you keep your pace perhaps you’ll finish all your quarters. Then your life will be an explosion of hot tub latina adventures.

        • Dagon

          You might be 83 when it ends, though. But, hey, there’s Viagra these days.

    • KJM

      FWIW, I’m always retweeting and telling people about this place.

      • I really appreciate that!

        • Virgil the Ghost Poet

          I don’t read every article but I am here everyday! I don’t post as much since the Facebook and my new job hours.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Hey!

      • Idk I mean the only female terminator I have seen was pretty hot. She could even make her chest bigger on command.

    • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

      I suggest nude photoshoots.

    • Enemy Of The Free World

      I thought they were low.
      Gonna tweet and share mlre often now.

    • Lacertilian

      There seem to be alot of people on the FB page, I naively assumed that equated to more views in the bowl.

      • VVayne Brady

        I think part of the problem is that a lot of people just post and share in the FB group and aren’t checking stuff here as much. It’s sort of a vicious cycle though, because that’s what the group exists for. We just need to get better at promoting our stuff.

        • Lacertilian

          Get good?
          In all seriousness though, is there anything we can do to help?
          I’m good for word of mouth but my friends are lazy and probably won’t do much.

          • VVayne Brady

            Umm, We have a decent FB presence, but I think getting our name out on Twitter and Reddit more would help.

          • Based Tapir

            Blackbeard can spread the word on r/atheism.

          • VVayne Brady

            We have a distinctly anti-neckbeard operation here. They’d hate it.

          • if it were up to me, featured comment. (also, saved in my favorite discussions folder!)

          • I think we could use additional help on the FB front as well with likes/shares/comments to give us a little more traction. It’s currently our best referral source but it could def be pumped up a bit.

          • Guacamole Jim

            I would share more, but my facebook was created before the Toilet to primarily keep in touch with the youth I worked with. Me posting stuff would be kinda wasted on them.

          • I feel you. I have like 2 friends IRL that can deal with metal stuffs.

          • I have like 2 friends IRL.

          • NefariousDude

            I know dat feel

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            I’m sorry, I joined FB just for this community. Then my coworkers friended me and they like country music. I kind of feel bad posting this great music and having these middle age/ old women read this.

          • I will attempt to preach the glory of the bowl to my FB friends and hope some of them wash up on our filthy, piss-stained shores.

          • hey what are your feelings on having a Google+ TovH presence? (besides “what’s Google+?”)
            i want to spearhead such a thing for the 2,000 people who use it

          • Lacertilian

            Ok, I have 80 something weirdos (except KJM & Link) following me on twitter but I don’t think many are TovH-inclined. Will spam anyway (j-k).

          • KJM

            I follow you on Twitter.

          • Lacertilian

            I know, you’re one of the non-weirdos.

          • NefariousDude

            R/metal plug

        • i’m the complete opposite. i use FB 1-2 times a week but come here because fvck FB! <3 swimming in toilet water!

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            I miss you Jimmy! 🙁

          • likewise Virgil! i see you’re quite active over on FB. i just need to use it more

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            Thanks for getting me signed up. I have some close friends over there now and I’m talking to more people.

          • more beer

            Upvote for the fuck facebook

    • I am trying to recruit. My friends share my musical tastes so they need to take their penises out their hands and try some flushin’.

      • Lacertilian

        Tell them they can push flush with their collective peni if they have to.

    • Further Down the Metal Hole

      I faithfully read every day, but I guess that counts for every regular here…

    • I’ve tried to get some of my friends into it, but they’re just not into metal (or music in general) as much as I am.

    • Sight Vnseen

      I try to do my part by lurking. You should start a late shift for all us poor bastards that work nights.

  • VVayne Brady

    Sorry about your grandma. The toilet stands with her in defiance of the cancer.

    Good: Today was a snow day, so I got to stay home and focus on my dissertation. I’ve made some good breakthroughs that should allow me to finish.

    Bad: With the impending deadline, my normally low anxiety has risen significantly.

    Ugly: This new Embrional record, and I appreciate that fact.

    • Scrimm

      Dude sorry about that anxiety, know exactly how you feel.

      • I walked out of class yesterday because somebody was in my seat. Let’s form an anxiety alliance.

        • Scrimm

          I’m in!

          • KJM

            (raises hand) I get panic attacks for no reason at all.

          • VVayne Brady

            I got a journal rejection letter a couple weeks ago and had a full-blown panic attack that kept me up all night. Looking back, that was silly.

          • Scrimm

            I’m too chicken to try and submit my writing anywhere, I can imagine.

          • KJM

            Not silly at all, completely understandable reaction.

          • VVayne Brady

            I think I’m going to have to develop more mental toughness to survive in the rigorous academic world, but I suspect that as I get published more and get more experience, things will get better. On the bright side, two of my papers are getting published, so there’s a reason to celebrate.

          • KJM

            It would appear some sleepless nights are par for the course from what many friends tell me. Congrats on getting published though. Success!!

          • VVayne Brady

            Thanks, man. I’m sure it will all work out.

          • Dagon

            Nice! Publications are awesome. My school is pretty weak in terms of getting papers into good journals so my scientific life will begin for real when I get to my residency program.

          • Scrimm

            You ever read King’s On Writing?

          • VVayne Brady

            I haven’t yet, but I know I should.

          • Scrimm

            Aside from everything else, he has some great stories about rejections and good advice on dealing with them.

          • VVayne Brady

            I’d love to read that.

          • Scrimm

            I personally think it’s his best book, and largely responsible for me finally giving writing a serious try.

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            You’ll do fine. I don’t have anything else to say.

          • I have those attacks too. I even ran away of a job because I couldn’t hand the pressure. I feel you, bro.

          • Scrimm

            It’s crazy, I feel you.

        • fine, but don’t breathe too much close to me, please!

      • VVayne Brady

        Thanks, man. I’m grateful for you guys. I’ve talked to my wife and the Masterlord about it, and both have been very helpful.

        • Scrimm

          That’s good man, I hope it gets better for you soon. I was lucky I had started posting(then on FFB) not long before my attacks happened, some of you were very helpful then.

    • Further Down the Metal Hole

      Upvote to boost confidence!

      • VVayne Brady

        Thanks, man. I appreciate it!

  • KJM

    Good:money and herb are plentiful
    Bad: Cancer, Leonard Nimoy RIP(huge Spock fan)
    Ugly: Reposted A7X Fan

    • Scrimm

      I should have added NO HERB to the bad list. It usually doesn’t bug me this much.

      • KJM

        If you’re dealing with a bunch of shit, you notice it more.

        • Scrimm

          I have to sit there in the studio and watch my bandmates smoke it up too cause I should hopefully have an interview for a job soon

          • Lacertilian

            They don’t share?
            WTF?

          • Scrimm

            They do, but might have to take a drug test soon so can’t right now.

          • Lacertilian

            Ahh, sorry dude. That’s fharc’d

          • KJM

            He can’t smoke because #DrugTesting.

          • more beer

            Fake piss works.

          • KJM

            If you can go a week without, so does lots of water and niacin. Fortunately I’ve not had to do it to get work.

          • more beer

            Actually you don’t have to stop. They make one that is synthetic on that you just warm up, it comes with a hand warmer to keep it at body tempeture. It’s like 40 bucks. But that will pay itself off your first day of work. I’m glad I don’t have to take them either.

          • KJM

            Ah, didn’t know about that.

          • more beer

            It’s good shit I’ve used it before,

      • i hate being out of drugs. they’re like an addiction or something.
        JJM’s 2015 new year’s resolution: plan better, never run out!

        • Lacertilian

          I thought you were self-sufficient with your jars of freedom?
          Do you do any brewing?

          • no brewing… my garden doth grow but i have been too lazy to plan ahead and have multiple overlapping cycles

          • Lacertilian

            You’re doing better than me.
            My jars are so dusty I may have to buy new ones to avoid contamination.

          • i buy new every time. i’m currently too lazy to make my own substrate

          • Based Tapir

            Can you give me your home address so I can come enjoy it with you? 430 legolas it.
            (Remember to refresh for image or joke won’t work)

          • Lacertilian

            Wrong substance Mr Tapir

          • Based Tapir

            Blasted! They saw through my cover!

          • Lacertilian

            Are they pre-innoc’d or something?

          • nah sterilized, packed, and sealed. i take care of the innocs.

          • more beer

            Thats a lot of work i’ve helpes a friend with his a few times

    • Guacamole Jim
      • Further Down the Metal Hole

        This really did make me sad today, that seldomly happens when a celeb dies.

        • Guacamole Jim

          I know. I’m usually not one to get bummed out at celebrity stuff, but Star Trek and Spock has been a huge part of my life and childhood, and it just sucks.

      • Lacertilian

        V/

        Edit: I just thought of that based on the m/ but I’m almost certain that it would be used in some basement dwelling Trekky forum/blog/cricle-jerk.

        • Guacamole Jim

          That’s actually fantastic. V/

          • Lacertilian

            V/ m/

  • BAD: Where’s all the toilet action today?
    GOOD: I’m gonna try to get some vidya in tonight (anyone playing Evolve on XB1 yet?)
    UGLY: Your dumb dad.

    • Scrimm

      No evolve yet, hopefully when I get the taxes, I got Lords of the Fallen first cause cheaper.

    • Dagon

      It’s like people went out to have fun on a, what, Friday? What the fuck, guys!

      • “everyone is having fun and I just here sitting in the Toilet Ov Hell” 🙁

        • Guacamole Jim

          THE TOILET OV HELL IS FUN THOUGH BRO

    • Edward/Breegrodamus

      This thing has almost 500 comments now, lol

  • Scrimm

    I was going to say flush cancer too! You took my dad and my grandpa, you fuck, you can’t have Bruce or Dagon’s Grandma!
    Good: Tax return should be here today, nice breather froim financial issues.
    Ugly: the Gynosaur in my apartments who won’t quit bothering me.

  • Celtic Frosty

    GOOD: I’m starting up my music blog (read: shitty tumblr) again.
    BAD: My wife is in New York this weekend and I’m probably going to gain 5 pounds eating grease and sitting on my ass.
    UGLY: All the lonely masturbating I’ll be doing.

  • Based Tapir

    Sorry to hear about your your grandma. Cancer fucking sucks, it took my favourite grandfather.

  • Good: sarpanitum + dark souls is a good time. Also I’m really digging resident evil revelations 2. Fuck the haters. I’ll write a review when I finish it probably.

    Bad: Fuck popcorn. I have a kernel that has managed to lodge itself in my gum and can’t get it out. Why does such a small thing cause so much pain?

    Ugly: my job keeps trying to shirk me on overtime pay. They keep failing, but for Fucks sake you’re gonna lay me off soon, at least give me all the money you owe me without me having to ask, you unprofessional cunting Fucks.

    Edit: I’m ashamed I actually used the word hater

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    It’s all bad and never gets better. It’s so cunting relentless…..

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZi4bm_LS6g

  • Good: The Napalm Death, Voivod, Exhumed, Iron Reagan, Phobia show last night.
    Bad: Black Crown Initiate’s van broke down so they missed it. I really wanted to see them.
    Ugly: Not being able to hear a damn thing today. I forgot to bring earplugs and the venue I went to is notorious for having absolutely deafening levels of volume for such a small space.

    Also, fuck cancer. It used to be something that I’d only hear about other people having, but now it’s invaded my family and taken my grandma from me.

    • Lacertilian

      Gig review?

    • BCI had a crowd-funding campaign for a new van a while back, i wonder if there’s any progress there
      which venue hosted last night?

    • more beer

      Saw it the day before. Thought the Voi Vod set was the best set of the night.

  • GOOD: I got out of school before noon today.
    BAD: My bruised tailbone. lolbuttz
    UGLY: The jamz my band is gonna play tonight.

    Wishing you all the best, Dr. Fishman.

    • KJM

      Ow. I’ve fractured my tailbone twice.

      • Based Tapir

        Funny, exactly one year ago I slipped on my yard and broke my tailbone.

        • Scrimm

          I would have paid money to see that.

          • Lacertilian

            I’m sure the ‘get a picture of Ma/Death online’ kickstarter would reach it’s goal.

          • Based Tapir

            Whaaaat?

          • Scrimm

            No doubt it would.

          • i’m in

          • Lacertilian

            I thought that would awaken the beast.
            Morning Jimmah!

          • Based Tapir

            You know it won’t make me show my face.

        • You dudes know the real pain.

          • KJM

            Fortunately the 2nd time got me $10,000 from the cab company the idiot worked for(hit while riding bicycle).

    • Basketball injury?

      • Actually yeah! Is that a common thing?

        • Not sure if my comment posted cause I dont see it, but yes it’s very common. That and jamming a finger are probably the two most common ones aside from a tweaked ankle. I play a lot of ball and have had all of those multiple times.

          • Yeah I smash my fingers all the time but this is the first and worst actual “injury” I’ve had. One day I’ll visit, uh, wherever 24 takes place and we’ll throw around a ball like a couple of lifelovers.

          • Lol sounds good. The worst I have had was when I was playing in a gym and i went to save the ball, my foot got caught under one of those big curtain things with the steel rod at the bottom. I didn’t realize that and kept moving. Fractured the fuck out of my ankle. I also broke a finger one time but I feel like the ankle thing was worse.

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            All one of my fingers are crooked from that and finger 8 is OK because it got put in a splint. Thumbs are OK.

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            I will slay you on the court!!!!!
            I love basketball!

    • EsusMoose

      I had a bruised tailbone once, my friend fell on me in a moshpit when we were teens. Hurt to sit for a week or two

  • Sorry to hear about your grandma, fuck cancer

  • Enemy Of The Free World

    Good: Easy week at work.
    BAD: Work about to end, I had two days off because of an infection. It could be a simple and not verybharmful one, but it also be of the type that will harm multiple people.
    UGLY: What y’all think of me after reading my latest ToH FB post.

    • Enemy Of The Free World

      And WEIRD: Thinking how much ToH has actually affected me. My communication mainly, even spend more time talking to my friends nowadays.

    • i haven’t been on FB in a while, but i will pre-preemptively say “i <3 you even more!"

      • Enemy Of The Free World

        Aww, djuude. <3

    • Ño. I still like you because you’re very honest about it. I don’t any of us misunderstood you.

  • Guacamole Jim

    BAD: I’m meeting tomorrow with a person I’d rather not meet with, and it’s going to be awkward, and I didn’t want to meet, and she keeps switching the time, and argh.

    GOOD: Since my run-in with the law, things have been getting steadily better in my life. I’ve kicked some bad addictions, been sober for the past two months, and gotten my life back on track.

    UGLY: I made spicy hamburgers last night for my supper, and this morning they came rushing out of my bowels at the speed of sound, in small, fast chunks.

    • VVayne Brady

      Congrats on sobriety, homeslice.

      • Guacamole Jim

        Thanks dude.

    • EsusMoose

      Good job on sobriety! Hopefully you can meet her at that wonderful establishment that has that nice bell.

      • Guacamole Jim

        Meet whom?

        • EsusMoose

          The person you don’t want to meet, at least the delicacies that place provides may be an uplifting thing. I may have read it wrong, I’ve been know to what I describe as slur-read

          • Guacamole Jim

            Oh yeah – the person I mentioned. Duh. I should meet her at 74c0 b311!!

          • EsusMoose

            You know what’s up

    • Scrimm

      Good job, BRO

      • Guacamole Jim

        Thanks, BRO

      • CyberneticOrganism

        HIGH FIVE, BRO

    • Dagon

      Now that you’re sober and all, could you pass all the numbers from the girls that used to party with you? Just asking.

      • KJM

        “asking for ‘a friend'”

      • Guacamole Jim

        What I imagine your face is doing right now:
        http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmd1r0K9OH1qclt3z.gif

        • Dagon

          No need to imagine bruh, just color the hair black and that’s me.

        • Virgil the Ghost Poet

          I could us some help too, bro!

      • more beer

        Just because he’s not partying doesn’t mean he can’t bring drunk girls home with him!

    • Are you meeting naked tree girl?

      • Guacamole Jim

        It would almost be preferable, but no.

        • Virgil the Ghost Poet

          I want to meet named tree girl!

      • Dagon

        Hey I asked first, look down there. I have DIBS, MAN, DIBS.

    • KJM

      Sorry it got to where you ended up afoul of the 5-0, but sometimes it has to reach that point before you can turn around. Good Luck!

      • Guacamole Jim

        Thanks dude! It did suck, and fucked my life up pretty bad, but coming out on the other side I’m glad things didn’t get any worse before they started to get better.

        • Scrimm

          That’s really good man. Seen friends go down pretty hard, glad you turned the corner in time.

        • Paris Hilton

          The best thing to do is exercise, as cliche as that sounds. I barely drink and kicked weed a while back. Sometimes I still get an itch for a fat bowl but I remind myself it usually just gives me a panic attack. Not drinking surprisingly yields the most fun nights! Keep at er man!

        • more beer

          Cops tend to have that effect.

    • Enemy Of The Free World

      I tried being sober. ‘Cause of all kinds lf trouble. I realized I didn’t really want to be sober 🙁

      • Guacamole Jim

        haha I didn’t really either, but it reached a point where I realized it was becoming a serious problem. I’m glad I made the decision. I won’t be off alcohol forever, but for right now it’s the right choice.

        • Enemy Of The Free World

          I’ve been telling myself the same after late last year when I was supposed to get arrested. I know I am a little too fond of such things, but that doesn’t stop me.

        • Lacertilian

          Ethanol is a pretty shitty drug.

      • Virgil the Ghost Poet

        I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up that is the best they will feel all day. Sinatra.

    • LobsterAttack

      Major congratulations on getting your life back on track. Not knowing any details, it’s just nice to see a Toileteer move from tough to slightly-less-tough times.

      • Guacamole Jim

        Thanks dude, I appreciate it.

    • but you’re really gonna miss that beer belly!!!!

      • more beer

        It’s not a beer belly if it’s all paid for it’s an investment!

    • Edward/Breegrodamus

      TWO MONTHS GUAC JIM

      • Guacamole Jim

        BLAOW BLAOW

  • Maik Beninton

    Best newcomer of the month: Reposted Avenged Sevenfold Fan.
    You surely have seen some shit.

  • Enemy Of The Free World

    Also, sorru bout you grandma, sucks.

  • EsusMoose

    Sorry to hear about your grandma, it’s good you get to spend time with her.
    Bad: Once again I get to spend my weekend sitting in front of a computer trying to frantically get multiple days worth of programming done in 2.
    Good: Tonight I’m planning on getting wingstop, and if I get done/give up early enough I may also grab some angry orchards
    Ugly: Didn’t get the internship I interviewed for and due to how late it is I’m left without a plan b, so I guess it’s summer school and/or some part-time job.
    Listening to An Autumn for Crippled Children’s older records and dam they’re good, only looked into them because my friend whom I recommend stuff to decided to look into them more.

    • Scrimm

      Wingstop>>>>>>>>>>>>>

      • EsusMoose

        There’s also Wings Over in the area but I like Wingstops classic hot and their bleu cheese sauce is good so this time it’s Wingstop

        • Why don’t I see “BDubs” mentioned here

          • EsusMoose

            I’m not wearing gym shorts and slamming natty lights? There is one of those but some bathroom is usually annihilated after going there

          • Scrimm

            Cause sux

        • Scrimm

          bleu cheese>>>>>>>>

  • Call the Slambulance

    I’m so sorry to hear that, Dagon. Cancer is a horrendous thing.

    The Good: Things are actually going pretty well. Life is pretty party right about now. And I put a bunch of hot cocoa mix in my coffee. It’s splendid <3

    The Bad: I have a wisdom tooth that's almost completely exposed and I really don't want to get it removed because I hate the healing process. This shit hurts

    The Ugly: I started drinking this knockoff Mio Energy and it's turning my poop a heinous green. Plus I have been using the scratchy toilet paper and it hurts my bum bum.

    • scratchy toilet paper <<<<
      They stock the bathrooms at work with that shit. It feels like I'm wiping with sandpaper.

      • EsusMoose

        I have a roommate who can’t buy toilet paper because she likes to get the cheap shit which is inherently scratchy

      • Call the Slambulance

        Laaame. That stuff is all over the place. It may be cheaper, but I value the well-being of my butthole too much to buy it.

    • VVayne Brady

      Man, the wisdom teeth surgery was rough for both me and my wife.

      • Scrimm

        I was worried cause all the horror stories mine was no trouble at all.

    • Yeah, I’m gonna need some pix.

    • Vicadin and Ice Cream was my healing process for wisdom teeth. If i remember correctly, I also beat re4 multiple times. I had mine taken out in high school though. Or was it early college?

      • VVayne Brady

        Got mine out the first summer after college. Couldn’t take Vicodin because I have codeine intolerance. Tylenol and suffering were my kingdom.

        • Yuck, did u get anesthesia for the procedure?

          • VVayne Brady

            Yup, thankfully.

          • Same. My friend told me the majority of people don’t and I was like WHAT??

          • KJM

            Nitrous and Ketamine both times. Oh yeah.

          • Lacertilian

            I want, but maybe not the K.

          • KJM

            My surgeon(same guy both times) was an old grumpy hippie freak so he knew what he was doing, very pleasant experience.

          • Dagon
          • Scrimm

            I didn’t, they just ripped the fucker out.

        • Lacertilian

          A good dose of CBD/CBA would have helped. Too bad we’re 30 years behind where we could be on these things had progress not been hindered by stagnant minds.

        • Scrimm

          Vicodin doesn’t do shit for me. The Ibuprofen they gave me worked much better thought I got both so I could stagger them.

          • Commander Shepard

            I don’t see what the big deal is, just slap some medigel on it.

      • Paris Hilton

        LMFAO I just beat RE4 for like the billionth time in my life last night! Still an awesome play, seriously one of the greatest games of all time imo

        • Lmao I beat it again on professional last weekend! Working on getting achievements for the steam version. It never gets old! Fuck Ashley though

          • VVayne Brady

            As far as companions in games go, Ashley isn’t bad at all. She ducks when you’re shooting and is generally helpful, albeit vulnerable.

          • Paris Hilton

            And you can chuck her ass in the dumpster when u need. Also near the gondola u can see her panties with the sniper rifle. They have a little ribbon on them. I just read that online! I’ve never tried it…

          • lol this is news to me. I may have accidentally on purpose shot her multiple times.

          • Paris Hilton

            When I’m bored I do the same haha. I never shoot the Merchant though! He’s my homie. I also picture all Austrians packing massive heat and being like the Merchant in general cuz of that game. GOT A COLLECTION OF GOOOOD THINGS ON SALE, STRANGER!

          • Ahhhh I’ll buy it at a HIGH price

          • LEEEEOONNN HAAAAALP. I liked sheva a lot better actually.

          • Paris Hilton

            LEEEEEOOOONNNNN!!!

          • and then you catch her at a ladder and shes all ow you pervent! Bitch I’m risking life and limb to save you stop your whining. I love how he totally turns her down at the end.

          • Paris Hilton

            FUCK ASHLEY! Yeah I’m doing Assignment Ada and the Mercenaries right now. That game and Prince of Persia are seriously the reason why I can do backhandsprings, backflips, backflips off of walls and lots of other shit like that today. I played those 2 games WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH lol

          • I’m hopelessly addicted to resident evil lol, I even love re6. Prince of persia is the shit as well! That was back when Ubisoft was amazing.

          • Paris Hilton

            Ubisoft used to be fucking on fire! What the fuck happened…

          • Further Down the Metal Hole

            Releasing AC every fucking year. That happened. So bloody mad at them, I’ve been a loyal AC fan since the beginning, but Unity is utter crap. Still platinumed the sucker.

          • I was all like im not getting the next ac game and then they announced that they added a grapple……………………..fuck

          • Paris Hilton

            Like the Arkham Series? WTF??

          • Further Down the Metal Hole

            Arkham >>>>>>>>>>>
            I’ll shit my pants when I get Arkham Knight.

          • Paris Hilton

            AK and MKX are seriously the only 2 reasons why I’ll shell out for a PS4 once they’re cheaper

          • did you see the new ttrailer? I almost died.

          • Paris Hilton

            Is it wrong that this kind of turns me on? Especially after the pre-ejaculate that was Arkham Origins (I’ll give it the combat was fun, but holy FUCK is it glitchy)

          • I get major goosebumps from this. That insane clown pussy looks really good too.

          • Paris Hilton

            Poison Ivy was already a fox in AA and AC (inb4 she’s a video game character u weirdo) and she also looks incredible in this! LOL which reminds me, I used to have a lesbian roommate id play Arkham with and we’d fawn over poison ivy, catwoman and harley all the damn time!

          • I don’t think the it’s a video game character thing applies these days. PIxels or not, those pixels are good enough to elicit a response from the human brain.

          • Paris Hilton

            i agree! I mean just LOOK at poison ivy! We’ve come a long way from Tomb Raider triangle titties…

          • Further Down the Metal Hole

            I think she looked better in the previous games than in this trailer. Then again, I should wait for the finished game to ensure I make the right call here. Could not forgive myself for passing on some virtual babes.

          • Paris Hilton

            She was a serious babe in Arkham Asylum. GATDAMN!

          • Harley looks good though even if shes cray cray

          • Paris Hilton

            Why are the pretty ones always crazy? I also laugh my ass off in AA when Batman just smacks her around when she’s doing her backhandsprings. Like Batman ain’t scared to hit these hos.

          • lol yea

          • I kept thinking to myself that’s not batman’s voice that’s chris redfield!

          • Further Down the Metal Hole

            Guess I was lucky as I had no glitches. It certainly was fun enough to keep me interested in the franchise.

          • Paris Hilton

            There was one time I couldn’t pass a stealth level cuz a goon was stuck in a dresser trying to run and I couldn’t hit him lmfao

          • Further Down the Metal Hole

            It’s got me creaming my pants. Once an hour.

          • Dunno, they haven’t shown it off. Arkham series is another golden one though. Can’t wait for arkham knight. Gonna be starting b Batman Marathon this weekend probably.

          • Paris Hilton

            AC I and ACII were fucking awesome. Then they franchised it…

          • Further Down the Metal Hole

            All Ezio games were good and each had it’s own flavour. I was disappointed with 3, thought Black Flag was quite decent (loved the shanties), but Unity made me think 3 was actually quite good. So disappointed.

          • Paris Hilton

            I actually liked Revelations and the sailing in BF! Fuck Unity haha there’s no way in hell I’m buying that shit

          • I have Unity, it’s not installed. Id rather play Black Flag again. For the record I beat unity because I had to but I meh’ed pretty hard.

          • Further Down the Metal Hole

            I couldn’t believe they made a story that I cared so little about. Then the bugs. Unity could have been so much more. The next AC will be the first that I will not buy after reviews etc. convince me to.

          • I really hope they announce a new Splinter Cell at E3. Random I know, but it crossed my mind.

          • Further Down the Metal Hole

            Fat chance, it’ll be 5 new AC games on 10 different platforms for more dollars!

          • 🙁 Blacklist was so good, but I felt it was too short.

          • JVVG

            I was told that liking AC(1) at all was proof of not being a “real” gamer since it was so repetitive and unchallenging, whereas real gamers like ACII and its sub-series because they’re much less repetitive, even if not really any more of a challenge. Admittedly, that was back just before AC3 came out. Opinions may have changed among that group who branded me a total casual (not that I’m not one, TBH), but I’ll never know…

            Anyway. I’ve got the series up to ACIV sitting on my shelf, opened but un-played beyond the first one, because every time I have time for a game for a few hours I wind up playing music or reading instead.

            I’m such a nerd, but obviously not the regularly-game-playing kind of nerd.

          • I want to give them the benefit of the doubt and say they had an off year in 2014 and I really hope that is true. Far Cry 4 was great though.

          • Further Down the Metal Hole

            RE6 was fun for how long it lasted. Sure, it’s nothing compared to the first few games, but I’d be lying if I claimed I didn’t have 50+ hours of fun.

          • The coop adds a lot of value too.

          • Further Down the Metal Hole

            You know, I didn’t play much coop, single player was enough fun already for me.

          • I think it has a lot of great ideas but it suffered from trying to do too many new things at once. My biggest gripe is the skill sytem. I don’t want that. LET ME UPGRADE MY GUNS

          • Further Down the Metal Hole

            Yeah, that would have been a nice addition.

      • Call the Slambulance

        Haha unfortunately vicodin is out of the question for me. I got one yanked a while back and experienced almost no pain. It was really strange. I just hate not being able to smoke and having to only consume liquids.

    • Paris Hilton

      I also have wisdom teeth that will need removal in the near future. The bright side is I fully intend to take time off work, get fucking incredibly baked on Roxy and play video games all day. I’ll be making the best of a shit situation. A shituation.

      • KJM

        2 down, 2 to go for me. I have no dentist phobias and I heal really quick so it’s even easier to deal with for me, and then it’s on to Percs and movies for a couple days! Woo hoo!

  • Dagon

    It’s Friday and I’m infatuated with Mila Kunis. Again.
    Also, James Franco looks either bored out of his mind or high out of his mind. Or both.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDeyI_xjjo4

  • Paris Hilton

    GOOD: It’s chest day! I am also laughing my ass off at the music video for Hangar 18 despite the fact it’s one of my favourite songs of all time!
    BAD: I have the chance to go to England to train and then personal train people on cruiseliners across the globe. It’s like my dream job but have to pass it up (FUUUUUCJKJKJKIJKSDJDJ!!!!)))
    Ugly: Dagon’s grandmother’s cancer. Fuck cancer! An old roommate of mine died of brain cancer at like age 24. Fuck do I hate it.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tzWc3Xl4B0

    • Lacertilian

      Chest day?
      Please elaborate, if you’re talking GSTTJ.
      If not, it’s just boobs right?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NKfehUINvQ

      • I loved this. I really did.

        • Lacertilian

          The Surfin’ With The Slayer one is my personal fave.
          Although the For Whom The Beach Calls is nice too.

      • Paris Hilton

        I’m talking bout that bench press! This is also fucking hilarious, and really well done!

        • Lacertilian

          Is that all you do for chest day?
          I’m lagging in that department compared with the rest.
          I have equipment to do a sit down bench kinda thing (don’t know what it’s called <— n00b).
          This is what I bought last year, it's at home to use.

          • Paris Hilton

            I do incline, flat, and decline bench. Scorpion push-ups, incline flies, cable flies, dips with a weight belt. Those are my staples anyway, and probably what I’ll end up doing tonight

          • Lacertilian

            Thanks, I’ll look those up for Monday.

          • Paris Hilton

            Try Scorpion push-ups, they kill!

          • Lacertilian

            Dude, normal push-ups kill me.

    • EsusMoose

      I may do a megadeth binge listen while I program, if Dave didn’t go the way he did, I’d be happier about hearing megadeth be brought up in conversation

      • Paris Hilton

        I know 🙁 I actually really like Megadeth despite Mustaine’s constant need to act like a turd. I even liked United Abominations and TSHF. feelsbadman.jpg

        • VVayne Brady

          Edngame was good too.

          • EsusMoose

            I like up cryptic writings, and then some stuff after TSHF but endgame was good. I liked some parts of thirteen but had too many parts I wasn’t a huge fan of that I’m so so about it as a whole.

          • Paris Hilton

            Thirteen didn’t really do it for me. And especially not *shudders* Super Collider. SC and Risk make Megadeth fans like me just wanna curl up into a ball and die

          • EsusMoose

            There were almost 5 songs I liked and only a few were completely original, I liked black swan and new world order but those were written years before

          • Lacertilian

            I haven’t enjoyed anything after TSHF, which I thought was solid.

          • Paris Hilton

            Post TSHF i liked UA and Endgame the most

          • EsusMoose

            Only with endgame did I enjoy enough to say it’s solid, the others have a handful of songs I like but not enough to ever listen to them completely

          • Paris Hilton

            LOL ya! Those were written like during Youthanasia era (which happens to be one of my favorite albums despite it’s more commercial sound)

          • Further Down the Metal Hole

            Black Swan is incredible, to my ears at least.

          • Paris Hilton

            Endgame was awesome! It was a really fast album which I liked! According to Dave he’s done making radio rock and there are rumours of the RIP line-up coming back. C’mon Dave, be cool for fucking once…

          • EsusMoose

            It’d be great if they make one great record and be done, somewhat salvage their ruined image

          • Paris Hilton

            That would be for the best I think too! Something fast and heavy with more Skin o My Teeth type songs and less David buttfucking Drainman

          • EsusMoose

            Started my binge with Skin o My teeth, dam I haven’t heard it in a while and that was fantastic

          • Paris Hilton

            Another fav tune! So fucking fast!

          • EsusMoose

            I always loved My Last Words, fast as hell and the intro bass part is easy enough and fun to play

          • That song is killer. Devil’s Island was another I loved on that album.

          • Lacertilian

            Devil’s Island & Good Mourning…Black Friday are my top 2 from the ‘Deth.

          • Paris Hilton

            Megadeth is super fun to play on bass! Especially the old stuff

          • The Countdown to Extinction have on the sickest bass lines made by Dave Jr. I love his tone:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6IZOivgZIQ

          • Paris Hilton

            DAMN! This song is my shit! Reminds me of doing wind sprints training for wrestling way back in the day

          • Paris Hilton

            LIFE WHADDYA MEAN LIFE!? I AIN’T GOT A LIFE!

          • “Boy… Your soul better belongs to Jesus… ‘Cause your ass belongs to me”

            That groove after that speech is imppresive. Dave Jr. is such a good player, those riffs are infectious and he still do that very smoothly.

            Dave Mustaine was such a great rhythm player.

          • Paris Hilton

            Ellefson really is such a groovy player and wrote some sick ass bass licks and lines like in this tune! But GODDAMN does he gotta do something with that hair these days 😐 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2osUs_k-9w

          • I think we will invoke JAG with this album <3 This record is awesome too. Into the Lungs of Hell/Set the World Afire is one of the best openers ever.

          • Paris Hilton

            This album is so fucking underrated! It’s so punky and pissed off! I could seriously talk about this album all day haha

          • Lacertilian

            Dawn Patrol!

          • Paris Hilton

            psh psh psh psh psh psh psh psh

          • Dave should stop complain about goverment and make again songs about how he’s best than the other bands and punch Kerry King in a press release. He’s just a prepotent person, in his prime years he had big mouth and still was badass.

          • Paris Hilton

            LMFAO imagine if they shook the metalsphere and Kerry Burger King was on the new Megadeth album

          • I don’t care what they will do. But Dave needs to be angry angry again 😛 and again and again and agaaain.

          • Lacertilian
        • I prefer United Abominations than Endgame. But still. Megadeth is one of my fav bands 🙂

          • Paris Hilton

            I did too! Washington Is Next and Sleepwalker both have fucking awesome solos! I’m happy Drover is gone actually though, fuck was his drumming boring

          • He was really boring, and his fills and rolls were very boring to me. Broderick was too much of a machine for me too. None of his solos stayed in my head. I still like Glenn Drover was more memorable than Broderick x_x

            What I would really want is another warm production like Youthanasia. That record sounds PERFECT even in this times.

          • Paris Hilton

            That record doesn’t rely on technicality like Broderick, I agree. That album has SOUL!!! That’s what they need in an album now.

          • this have life. The songs in that record are filled with riffs and good songwriting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4d_NemixNbA

          • Further Down the Metal Hole

            Definitely a classic. Addicted to Chaos is my jam.

          • I can pass the records until Cryptic Writings, that one had several killer tunes too: the final part in Use the Man and the punky FFF.

            I still have faith that Megadeth can be again a force in merol.

          • Paris Hilton

            I do too! Actually Mastermind is an unexpected lil jam on CW

          • Paris Hilton

            V underrated Deth jam!

    • Further Down the Metal Hole

      Upvoted for Megadethian love.

      • Paris Hilton

        It ain’t easy being a Megadeth fan man, at least I’m not alone in this world…

  • Further Down the Metal Hole

    Good: I really feel for you, but your story reminded me of some time I spent with my grandmother before she passed away 10 years ago. She spent all her days in her room, watching TV and smoking (she had lost one of her lungs to it) but doing nothing else. I got her to get out of bed one day and walk around the garden with me. No one believed it because everyone had failed to get her out of her room, yet there I was, spending a sunny afternoon outside with her, the memory of which will stay with me forever. I’ve always said to kids that will listen that they should spend as much time as possible with their grandparents, as they’d otherwise regret not doing so one day.

    Bad: The weekend’s started for me (it’s Friday evening in Vienna) but with all the things I have planned it feels like it’s already over.

    Ugly: All diseases, flush them all right down the shitter.

    Bonus good thang: Mongolian throat singing. Holy fuck, did Marco Polo blow my mind with this one:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1sFQxJgq_A

    It’s bad quality, so if you have Netflix watch Marco Polo just for this. Last episode of series one.

    Bonus bonus good thing thang: Getting drunk.

    • VVayne Brady

      Blood of Kingu use throat singing in their black metal.

    • Guacamole Jim

      Mongolian throat singing >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

    • Lacertilian

      Gardens>most things.

  • Lacertilian

    Good: I’m not hungover, which is great on a Saturday morning.
    Bad: My entire body is sore and failing due to cricket training + Spock is dead.
    Ugly: Sweat rash.

  • Good vibes, my friend!

    Good: my father helped me with the residence rent. So I could save all that money to the shared account I have with my fiancée to finance our wedding plans. The last weekend she helped me a lot chatting and having a good time watching movies <3. Also, I still can hear music and it's another week with the Toilet alive. I love you, brolos and sislas.

    Bad: that kid death…

    Ugly: I'm returning to an old bad habit, so I'm trying to clean that up again…

    • Enemy Of The Free World

      Back on the saddle?

      • didn’t understood that o.o) it’s about the ugly thing?

        It’s a huge personal thing. I wanted to share it, but I can’t talk about it. Let’s just say that it’s like biting your nails.

        • Picking your nose?

        • Enemy Of The Free World

          Yeah it was about that ugly habit. ‘Twas a joke though.
          Back ln the saddle-> Back on the horse
          -> Back to using heroin.

          • Any advice to try to overcome that? I don’t want to be around ‘biting my nails’ again 🙁

          • Enemy Of The Free World

            Unfortunately, I have never been able to kick such habits. I stay off for a month on willpower and start again. Regardless lf what addkction it is.

          • I had years without tasting such habit. But, it’s painful and I feel guilty when it happens… u_u

  • Best wishes to your grandmother Dagon. Recommend that she loads up on tons of leafy green vegetables. They can potentially turn the tide against cancer cells.

    • Lacertilian

      turmeric can help too I’ve heard.

      • There’s lots of foods that can help, without getting crazy just eat more vegetables, fruits,nuts and seeds.

        • Lacertilian

          That’s pretty much good advice for everyone, regardless of health.

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    the bad–>the ugly–>the good
    (all 3 at once–full vol)

    http://youtu.be/2AltLpd20LM

    http://youtu.be/GfF1lt8qAhk

    http://youtu.be/I1ctz2jT8l8

  • Formerly Known As Oli Sykes

    Sorry to hear about that Dagon, hope she pulls through. I’ve had my mum and grandmother go through it and survive, so hopefully it is treatable, no one should have to go through that stuff.

    Good: My growing love affair with Clutch only grows stronger with each passing day.

    Robot Hive/ Exodus <3 <3 <3

    Bad/Ugly (They both fall into the same category): Due to a feud with a group of dickheads and my own stupidity, I managed to permanently fuck up my friendship with many people by getting worried about making things awkward between friends and said dickheads and making the completely moronic and decision to isolate myself from all of them. To say I'm pissed with myself is an understatement, I know its my own fault and know it was completely stupid to do something like that, and now I'm facing the consequences of my stupidity. So, yeah, not in the best of moods.

    • Guacamole Jim

      Shitty dude. Dealing with social dynamics can be preposterously frustrating.

      • Formerly Known As Oli Sykes

        Amen to that. These events have proven to me that even if you’re being a dickhead with good intentions, you’re still being a dickhead.

    • Lacertilian

      Robot Hive/Exodus fucking stomps.
      10001110101

      • Formerly Known As Oli Sykes

        Seconded. But Burning Beard doe.

    • VVayne Brady

      Man, I love Clutch. I hope those social dynamics resolve for you.

      • KJM

        Mastodon/Clutch is the next show I gotta score tix for.

        • Dagon

          I would snap someone’s neck to see that.

          • KJM

            Fortunately I will only need to cough up $40. This is one of the many reasons I endure the Hell that is Boston Winter. Every major tour comes here.

          • Dagon

            Boston Winter is terrible indeed. I remember the winter I spent in the US was pretty mild (Jan 2012) but I still froze everytime I got near a window.

          • KJM

            There are still piles of snow that will take months to melt away.

        • Lacertilian

          I wonder if Neil will do his guest spot during Blood & Thunder.
          That’d be the tits, especially if he busts out wearing that awesome clown suit.

        • Formerly Known As Oli Sykes

          I wish that tour would come to the UK. However both are playing different fests in the summer. Speaking of, as Mastodon are playing at Leedsfest (with Ghost and Gojira for some reason, quite heavy for R+L), I’m considering a day ticket but (and please don’t laugh or get angry at me for this) Mastodon will probably end up clashing with Bring Me The Horizon and because I’m fucking stupid I don’t know who I’d see.

          • Lacertilian

            If someone else paid for the ticket I would choose Saturday, just for RTJ, get to catch some Masto and then hail the Danish prophet.

      • Formerly Known As Oli Sykes

        I hope so to, but I have no idea what to do to try and fix it. I acknowledge my own stupidity and prickishness in that situation, but whenever I want to talk things out and try and fix this, I just panic and retreat as soon as possible. I just have no idea what to do.

  • Commander Shepard

    The good: Liara and I totally did it in the gun battery when Garrus wasn’t looking!

    The bad: I fell through another fish tank 🙁

    The Ugly: Kaidan lol

    • LobsterAttack

      Chuckled at all three of these. Hopeless ME fanboy here. Your species has the attention of those infinitely your greater.

      • Welp, looks like I have to start another playthrough.

        • LobsterAttack

          Likewise. Renegade or Paragon?

          • I’m afraid to renegade because me3 renegade makes me feel like complete shit so probably paragon again.

          • LobsterAttack

            That’s generally what I end up going with too. Doing Renegade playthroughs can be a fun exercise in introspection, though.

          • Yea but every time I betray wrex I die a little inside.

          • LobsterAttack

            I had to avoid that by doing another playthrough and making sure he didn’t survive ME1. That stung, too, but not nearly as much as letting him make it all the way to 3.

          • I usually just download a save or use one of my old ones and start with me2 these days. Me1 is a bit outdated and it’s hard to go back after experiencing the improvements 2 and 3 made combat wise.

  • InfinityOfThoughts

    Don’t feel so bad Dagon: every man on my mom’s side has the same hairline: lovely locks of hair turned to a thinning widow’s peak. It starts at age 18 and kinda stops receding until age 40; for the prime of your life, this is what you have to work with.
    Anyway, this is what I’m drinking this evening:
    http://www.colonialspirits.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/mayflower-spring-hop-ale.jpg

    • VVayne Brady

      If it makes both of y’all feel better, my hair started falling out when I was 15. I just shaved it all off at 17 and haven’t looked back.

      • Lacertilian

        Mine hasn’t started falling out or receding yet but I just shave it to 0 anyway. Fuck it.

      • Guacamole Jim

        Wow dude, that’s intense.

        • VVayne Brady

          I was a winning combination of genetics sophomore year of high school. Glasses, braces, acne, and my hair falling out…

          • Guacamole Jim

            Ouch. Not a combination of things you really want going for you at the age of 17…

          • VVayne Brady

            17 was better! Got contacts, got the braces off, took acutane to kill the acne, and sported a shiny smooth scalp.

          • Guacamole Jim

            Going for the Jens look. I can dig it.

          • VVayne Brady

            I’ve been told I look like him, actually.

          • Guacamole Jim

            I think most folks are awkward around that age. When I was 14 – 16 I was tall, gawky, had bad hair and no facial hair, glasses, and was super into Dream Theater. Here’s an extremely cringeworthy photo of me on a school trip, with my then-girlfriend. I’m on the left.

          • VVayne Brady

            I thought Canada was perpetually buried in snow.

          • you got all the bad out of the way, now you’re handsome af!

          • VVayne Brady

            Thanks, boo

      • STANKBEARD

        You can have some of mine. I have to use clippers made for animals

  • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

    Good: Lynch Mob is coming to my area, fish, Bellator is on tonight

    Bad: Bellator conflicts with Impact which I watch, I have to buy a recovery disc for my computer, no meat on Fridays

    Ugly: Electronics from Hong Kong

  • God ov All

    Good: finally done being sick, almost have my music library finally restored, last night stayed up till midnight with the wife eating ice cream and watching Scrubs.

    Bad: sick out of my mind the last few days. Using a lot of my paid time off since I was bedridden

    Ugly: played an UNGODLY amount of games while I was sick. Hours upon hours of Dying Light and Rogue Legacy. I guess I have a thing for games that raise my blood pressure.

    • VVayne Brady

      Scrubs>>>>>>>

      • God ov All

        My wife has adopted calling me girls names. I.e. “Pass the ice cream there Margaret”

      • Fucking srubs, god I love that show. Elliot>>>>>>>>>>>

    • Further Down the Metal Hole

      I’ve been waiting a month for my Dying Light copy. It’ll be here Monday, if Amazon and its delivery service are kind. My brother’s been nagging me for ages to play coop. Pretty sure he just wants to use me as bait, I suspected as much when he in fact admitted to this very plan of his.

      • God ov All

        I love that game. For the amount of gameplay you get out of it, I feel like the 60 bucks I paid that it was a steal.

    • hey, melodic death merol bro.. did you liked this? http://www.lastfm.es/music/Armageddon/_/Equalizer

  • LobsterAttack

    That’s awful, Dagon. I’m sorry you have to go through that. As someone who’s also dealing with a serious illness in the family, I can totally relate to how critical- even salvific- music can become during these times. Glad the Toilet helps you.

    The good: with luck, next week will mark the start of the next phase in dealing with a chronic condition that’s been fucking with me for the past decade-plus. Oh, and we’re getting closer and closer to the new Enslaved album dropping. Clack clack.

    The bad: terminally ill parent is increasingly unable to communicate, but has made clear that time’s pretty short for her now. Fuck ALS.

    The ugly: the daily scene at work. I made my own bed by choosing the nonprofit sector, but man do you see some seriously WEIRD shit when you work at a soup kitchen/food pantry. And yes, we have both a Phantom Shitter and a Phantom Pisser among our clientele. I will find them eventually.

    • KJM
      • LobsterAttack

        Yep. I’ve succeeded in identifying the one who shits like that. The Phantom Shitter doesn’t even bother with the stall; he drops a log right in the middle of the bathroom, directly in front of the sink. There it lies until reported to yours truly.

  • God ov All

    FUCK CANCER

    • Enemy Of The Free World

      The Brutal Truth

  • old_man_doom

    Stay strong, Fish God. It’s really great that you get to spend some time with her now.

    BAD: Some close friends are being complete dildos, and my relationship status remains complex.
    GOOD: My final college classes are going well and I’m getting solid feedback at my new work (ESL Specialist at a local community college).
    UGLY: Money is getting tight, which is unfortunate because I really fucking want to go see Cult of Luna at the Psycho California fest in May but I may not have the funds.

  • NefariousDude

    Good luck with grandma! They are the raddest of ladies (mine lets me cuss like a sailor, even though I try not to)

    The good: I woke up in a fabulous mood and have maintained those vibes all day and spread them to others.

    The bad: the IPA I’m drinking only has a few sips left.

    The ugly: I only have one more IPA in my fridge

    I love this community. I’m sorry im not as involved as I used to be in the comments section. I’m still here, lurking within the shadows. I hope you all have a safe and fun weekend.

  • Edward/Breegrodamus

    BAD: I got turned down on my application to grad school. I graduated from undergrad Summa Cum Laude which is the highest honors possible. I got that news this week and was fucking stunned and bummed. I also worked my ass off on that application. Granted, in hindsight, it was pretty dumb to only apply to one school but whatever. Also, my nine days off of work is rapidly approaching an end.

    GOOD: this vacation has been amazing. Needed it! Relationship is going great. Life is actually really good despite that ol’ heaping pile of shit news mid-vacation. Managed to write something for the site after a period of painful writer’s blogger’s block, lol.

    UGLY: damn I need to cut my hair. Also have a lot of catching up to do Toilet Ov Hell wise, like after this week it is becoming insurmountable. The site looks fantastic though.

    • NefariousDude

      You’ll find a school!

      • Edward/Breegrodamus

        It’s too late to apply to anything else for this fall, but, I think I will probably take another stab at it next year and apply to like three or four schools (but not the one I applied to this year, fuck that school lol). I’m also considering going for three years instead of two since I am going to get my Master’s later in life, why kill myself over it you know?

        • NefariousDude

          You seems like a very motivated and hard working fella. You’ll make your own goddamned path if the one ahead of you is blocked. A path of fire http://youtu.be/as2F_2g4rk4

        • Virgil the Ghost Poet

          Good luck sir.

    • is applying for a school like applying for a job? can you walk in and be like “i really want this, and you would do great to accept me!”?

      • Edward/Breegrodamus

        Not exactly. It was an online application, a board decided based on all the applications (I think).

    • Guacamole Jim

      Damn man. Things will work out for you education-wise. I know, from reading your work, that you’ve got this in the bag. They’re just missing out on you, not vice versa.

      Also, overcoming writer’s block is a great feeling. I haven’t been much inspired lately, and I want to remedy that.

      • Edward/Breegrodamus

        I applied early to compete for this scholarship and found out I wasn’t even admitted for anything, lol wtf.

        I have two articles that I started which I have just stared at for an unreasonable amount of time. I’m hoping to just tackle things I am very excited about at the moment, it so happened that for that roundup all four bands applied and only one fell short of my expectations…

  • Based Tapir

    Bad: I have The Shits again
    Good: next week is vacation!
    Ugly: people who livein Helsinki

    • Guacamole Jim

      SHOTS FIRED

    • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

      What is an “inki” and why does it belong to Hel?

      • Based Tapir

        A jokester, eh?

        • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

          But the only laughter is in my mind…

  • Further Down the Metal Hole

    #ToiletofMegadethLove

    • to my tastes: Megadeth>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Metallica; everyday

      • Further Down the Metal Hole

        Oooh, I will not try to decide that battle for myself as it’s too tough. i’d say I love both equally for different reasons.

      • Based Tapir

        I hate both.

        • Maik Beninton

          You mean the last albums?

          • Based Tapir

            Nope. All albums.

          • Maik Beninton
          • VVayne Brady

            He doesn’t like most things. Except us, for some reason.

          • Based Tapir

            I don’t like you guys either.

          • VVayne Brady

            Oh

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            Ahem.

          • Based Tapir

            Got something in yor throat?

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            Yes, but it’s fine now.

          • Based Tapir

            Good. Luv u bae.

          • STANKBEARD

            🙁

          • Based Tapir

          • JvRv

            man and I just upvoted your “neither” comment.

        • Good.

  • I’ve been comatose all week.

  • best wishes, @dagonthefishgod:disqus! tell her she’s got an army of flushers wishing positivity.

    • Dagon

      Thank you, my friend.

  • STANKBEARD

    The Good: My brother is here for LAN/Board Game night (Death Angel, Dark Souls 2, Infiltration). No work tomorrow, after 3 saturdays on. Stacking bankrolls at work.

    The Bad: I’ve been neglecting my fitness routine for a bit too long. Easily remedied.

    The Ugly: The dog keeps fucking up dog crates, breaking out of them and then tearing up the house.

    • Your dog sounds hardcore.

      • STANKBEARD

        She’s pretty hardcore. Just a super anxious/nervous pit/lab mix.

        In other great news: There’s a new Godspeed You! Black Emperor EP coming out soon. What I’ve heard of it is pretty incredible.

        • Edward/Breegrodamus

          I could fuck with that new Godspeed.

        • Based Tapir

          It’s an LP, not an EP.

          • STANKBEARD

            You sure, tapir?

          • Based Tapir

            Yes, if we’re talking about “Asunder, Sweet and Other Distress”

          • STANKBEARD

            Yeah. You like it?

          • Based Tapir

            Haven’t heard it yet,

          • STANKBEARD

            There’s about a 7-minute long preview out.

          • Based Tapir

            I know, I haven’t listened to it yet. People at Sputnikmusic say that it’s a song they’ve been playing live for a long time.

          • STANKBEARD

            you should check it. As if I’ve had a chance to see them live in recent memory.

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            You lucky bastard!

          • STANKBEARD

            It’s readily available

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            I was referring to you seeing them live. I’ve bet it was amazing.

        • Scrimm

          I got a black lab pit mix! He’s a cautious/slightly nervous dog but the only real damage he ever did was pulling up my bathroom floor when he was little.

  • Good: Nearly every day this week has been a snow day and I’ve got to sit on my ass and play video games.
    Bad: I’ve had a headache for about five days now and it is getting old.
    Ugly: Nothing. I’ve been loving the freezing weather.

    • Based Tapir

      Cold weather >>>>>>>>>>>>>

    • Edward/Breegrodamus

      I’ve put in some serious time on my second play through of Dragon Age: Inquisition this week, lol

      • Based Tapir

        I hope that they’ll release some kind of an extension like Awakening for Dragon Age Origins.

      • I’ve been playing through The Witcher 2 again in preparation for The Witcher 3 in a few months. I’m probably going to beat Dark Souls again as well.

  • CT-12

    Good: I have the weekend off!!!!
    Bad: Dagon’s Grandma being in the position she is (sorry to hear)
    Ugly: this craigslist ad I just found

    • Based Tapir

      No hipsters? We’ll then I’m out.

    • Limp Bizkit listed twice. There’s no way this band doesn’t take off.

      • Scrimm

        I like how he’s 29 so he’s had to cut down the partying. PUSSY BRO.

      • Lacertilian

        This has to be troll-bait for a show like @midnight or something

  • Virgil the Ghost Poet

    Love you Fish God!!!!!!

    • Scrimm

      Better keep him happy or else…

      • Virgil the Ghost Poet

        I’m not a little worm on a big fuckin hook!

        • Scrimm

          That picture makes me glad I don’t work on the ocean anymore.

  • KJM

    Well 3 more songs from the new Saturnalia Temple leaked via youtube, and I’m not even gonna bother to link ’em, just one monotonous drone after another, nowhere near as good as their earlier discs. : (

    • Lacertilian

      Damn man.

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    Good: Saw new play Oppenheimer on Monday, it does a great job of turning some scientifically tricky and politically contentious subject matter into fast flowing yet cohesive, serious yet not heavy handed, pointed but not patronising theatre, with fine performances across the board. Got some new headphones this evening and while I naturally went for the cheapest possible they sound markedly better than previous ones. Was listening to Striborg earlier and heard bass I never imagined was there before! Drunk right now, just saw a pretty decent Japanese sexploitation flick, more of a slice of life than the twisted weirdness I like best but still most satisfying. Going to get drunker and listen to Botanist.

    Bad: Had food poisoning mid week. First time I’ve been sick without booze or substances since I was 16. Managed to avoid losing all dignity shitting myself or curling up in a sweaty sobbing ball on the floor but it was still no fun at all. Especially sad since it came from a really delicious fish dinner. My parents suggest its because I like to eat the heads and that’s where bad stuff often is, which makes sense, but if I don’t eat the heads, how will I consume their souls and thus obtain their energy? Also, fuck Islamic fundies. Fuck ’em in general, but lately they seem to be really going for the whole historical artefact destruction thing, a friend of mine is an archaeology and they keep destroying stuff he wants to research.

    No ugly.

    All the best to you and your grandma Dagon, that’s some heavy deal.

  • KJM
  • john

    The bad: Spock died.

    I don’t have any good. 🙁

    • KJM

      All we can do is “remember” that he lived a full, rich life and that his legacy is immortal. #LLAP.

      • STANKBEARD

        Live long and prosper.

        • Lacertilian

          V/

        • KJM

          Right on.

    • Scrimm

      🙁

  • JVVG

    Interesting header image. If I had to guess I’d say the title is “Skol-doggery”

    Good: conference I’ve been at lately this week/end. Information Technology & Communication in Health. Bonus LOL: its acronym (ITCH).

    Also, I encountered a young female colleague I have always found impossible to talk to without becoming a bit of a blathering idiot, and I actually managed to say something articulate, thoughtful, and relevant for once. Score one small victory.

    Bad: Leonard Nimoy’s passing.

    Ugly: TBH that one dress, whether it’s white and gold or blue and black, wevshould all be able to agree: it’s just kind of ugly either way.

  • JvRv

    The Good: My good mate Ben had knee surgery Thursday. was supposed to be removing a little bone thing but ended up having to fully redo his ACL, so he will be out of commission for a while. However, everything went well and we hung out and watched Tusk and ate ice cream and laughed at his Oxy induced loopiness. Also very little school all week was nice.

    The Bad: Lady J.R.’s Pawpaw is not long for this world. His bed has been moved in to the living room as he is too weak to move. He has Parkinson’s so he’s been in iffy shape for a while now. Anyway we are swinging by Saturday to show love. So. Lots of passings with us Toilet folk it seems.

    The Ugly: My Pathfinder game may be cancelled because all my friends are a bunch of forfs and I feel like I have missed a lot of Toilet Time this week. Time to fix that!

    • STANKBEARD

      its hard to get a solid tabletop group

      • JvRv

        They are usually pretty consistent, just school and work is being particularly brutal I guess. But the table is always open to Denizens ov Hell, as long as they don’t stank too bad

    • Scrimm

      Sorry to hear about the bad. dealing with prolonged illness is terrible.

      • JvRv

        Her extended family on her mother’s side is even worse off, to the point that it has become something of a running joke in the household. But they keep on trucking. Those Germans, man. But Pawpaw and Granny have been so nice to me the 4 years I’ve known them. It will probably effect me more than it will Lady. Man this music is not helping the mood.

        • Scrimm

          I wish you the best.

  • Jointsalot

    Dagon sorry to hear about your grandmother. My father recently had his Cancer reapear so I can feel where you are coming from.
    FLUSH CANCER IN THE NASTIEST TOILET TO HELL.

  • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

    I’m listening to Meat Loaf right now. He truly is the master of bombast. I commend all the Bat Out of Hell albums for being more epic than any album ever.

    • KJM

      Jim Steinman, master of the cheeseball epic.

      • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

        He knows how to write Wagner operas in rock form. Todd Rundgren also had a hand in all three albums as a producer.

    • KJU’s Breakdancing Bodybags
      • KJM

        “A hand job ain’t enough. YOU GOTTA LET HIM BANG YOU.”

  • KJU’s Breakdancing Bodybags

    Good: Pretty chill week, good jams, and caught up on some meditation (finally) and Game Of Thrones. And my birthday is in a couple of weeks. I’m gonna be an old man (should that go under the bad part?)

    Bad: Roomy/friend is finally getting the boot. Almost a year of not paying rent tends to have that effect. And Leonard Nimoy is dead. Sadly no one’s talking about his role in Fringe.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94l9dssj0HU

    The Ugly: http://cdn.mos.totalfilm.com/images/g/good-bad-ugly-800-75.jpg

    • KJM

      As long as you’re in good health, getting older ain’t so bad. I keep trying to tell myself that anyway(turning 48 in April).

      • KJU’s Breakdancing Bodybags

        Yean, my one friend to me once you hit 47 or so, you start to feel all those bumps, bruises and scrapes through the years.

        • KJM

          With me it’s my lower back and ankles.

          • KJU’s Breakdancing Bodybags

            My dad’s complained about that a while back (he’s 56 this year).

          • KJM

            I’ve rolled both my ankles a few times and I was hit by a taxicab back in 2008 so there’s more than just old age going on with me.

  • KJU’s Breakdancing Bodybags

    BTW, hoping your grandma gets better. I just lost mine back in January, and the story behind all that was dark and sad as hell. 🙁

  • Herr Schmitty

    Sorry about your grandma, Dagon.

    Just found out that the secretary at our office has a rare cancer (multiple myeloma) that has a 100% fatality rate. She’s pretty old already and the cancer may already be advanced; she may have two years or less left… and they’re a painful/shitty two years characterized by brittle, easily broken bones (myeloma attacks bone marrow and bone density in general).

    This lady is basically like the office grandma and a really sweet person.

    Like you say, flush cancer.