Flush It Friday: Flash Point Sucks

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Every Friday we come together to vent some shit. Once it’s out, we replace it with non-shit.

Look, I’m a firm believer that the Kung Fu movie is poised in crane stance at the pinnacle of cinematic art. As such, I was scrolling through Netflix’s “Recommended for you because you have a man-crush on Donnie Yen” section and came across Flash Point. A loose-cannon cop after goes after three drug lord brothers? A banal plot, but one I could stomach so long as it featured plenty of Donnie Yen knocking the living shit out of people. Guess what? It didn’t. There were like two short fight scenes. I counted three palm strikes total (I count palm strikes). Why you would cast Donnie Yen in a movie with relatively little fighting? That’s like getting Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to play a guy who wears his shirt for most of the movie. Or casting Brad Pitt as the Headless Horseman. Or not writing a song into Terry Crews’ script. Nobody wants to see Donnie Yen shoot people with guns. Fuck. Don’t watch Flash PointFLUSH IT.

On a positive note, I’ve recently discovered my new favorite thing to do when I should be doing something else – finding videos of animals on trampolines. Take a look at these adorable dumbasses:

 

The floor is yours. Let it all out in the comments, but remember to follow it up with something positive. Have at it, then!

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