Flush It Friday: Drink Beer!

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Greetings and merry fucking Friday! It’s your beer drinking, grind blasting, blasphemous jerk-face fool Tyree.

I once read on a dive bar bathroom wall: “Alcohol won’t solve your problems, but neither will milk”. I’ve always fucking loved that quote. I use it all the time to be an asshole to people that don’t drink, but feel the need to give me shit for my drinking. Please go mind your own damn business, I’ll drink if I damn well please, you poopy head! Anyways, lets get to it.

THE BAD: My dear sister moved into my place over a month ago. She said it would only be temporary until she found a new place to live. She’s my sister so of course I said “yes”. I soon learned this was a huge goddamn mistake. My sister is a month and a half late with her rent now which for me is frustrating and very insulting, but on top of that she is also the biggest slob I have ever met in my entire life. I’ll come home from work and the place is always a colossal mess; there are too many gory details to list, so I won’t, but the trophy has to go to this heathen cat of hers. Ooooooh do I hate this fucking cat! The bastard shits/pisses everywhere, scratches my furniture, eats food that I have in the kitchen, and is just an overall asshole. One night I was cooking on the stove a delicious stir-fry for myself, and the cat kept jumping on the counter trying to eat out of the pan I was cooking in. I kept pushing him away until I finally became so furious that I lifted the pan up away from the cat and was going to push him off the counter completely. Well, the dumb-ass cat lunged at the pan as I lifted it up and walked on the burning stove and made the loudest and most painful scream I’ve heard in a long time. I did not mean for the thing to burn it’s paws, but I’m glad it did because the little shit deserved it. Now I make sure it never leaves my sister’s room, which reeks of shit by the way, because my sister has not emptied the damn litter box in over a month. WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?! It’s going to get ugly here next week if things don’t change.

THE GOOD: I always have an endless supply of beer! I also have the Toilet along with all of you fine guys and gals to hang out with. Finally, writing has become an interest of mine again, and I’m trying to do a lot more of it whether you dorks like it or not. My band’s new album is almost complete, which is fucking rad. Vocals just got finished, and we are actually getting it professionally mixed for the first time.

THE UGLY: I’m going to wake up tomorrow morning cursing my self for drinking way too much while pissing alcohol out of my butthole.

Bring it, flushers! Spill your bowels out.

  • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

    Bad: computer issues
    Good: napalm death show on Sunday
    Ugly: Chris Holmes

  • Call the Slambulance

    Bad: I’m kind of bordering on a mental/emotional breakdown. I’m feeling really overwhelmed by a lot of shit right now.

    Good: Bugles are tasty, so that’s rad.

    Ugly: Fear.

    • I know that feeling. Take an hour for yourself. Do nothing. Smoke a cigar, pipe, hookah, drink or eat something you really like, just do something completely alone and DISCONNECTED from the world (turn that phone off, don’t look at the computer.)

      • Call the Slambulance

        I generally would love that, but being disconnected is a big part of my current problem.

        • Ah, you said overwhelmed by a lot of things, so I assumed you had too much going on, which is normally my problem. Prayers heading your way for whatever you are facing.

          • Call the Slambulance

            You’re not wrong, there is a lot going on, but it isn’t stuff that temporary seclusion will help. Thank you, man. I appreciate it a lot.

        • JvRv

          Hey man, we’re all connected here on the Toilet. Just take those problems and give ’em a flush.

      • old_man_doom

        Man, i love taking a big ol’ fatass stoogie with me out in the woods and graveyard behind my place. I just go out there at around 11pm and listen to all the critters. I usually come away from those moments with the conclusion that if i ain’t dead or dying, then it was a pretty damn good day, no matter what the circumstances.

    • I feel you man, I’m frustrated as fuck. I can’t even write anything lately. It helps to just go for a drive and listen to music. Also hot showers.

      • Call the Slambulance

        Ah, I get that. That’s the worst.

        • Honestly I’m just so stressed with everything else that writing feels like a chore.

          • Call the Slambulance

            Haha definitely. I’ve been trying to pus myself to start something up every day, but then I get home and want to do absolutely nothing.

          • Exactly lol, I think winter in general depresses people

          • Call the Slambulance

            Winter sucks, and it isn’t even winter here. It’s basically spring time.

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            Winter is the only time of the year I get work done.

          • Call the Slambulance

            Do you shovel snow?

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            Daily. At least when it snows. So not this week.

          • Call the Slambulance

            Oh shit, I was just cracking a joke haha. That’s a trip, though. Do you just not work during the other seasons?

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            I haven’t in long time. But if I get to keep my currwnt job that’s gonna have to change.

          • Call the Slambulance

            Damn, man. How can you make your nut in just one season?!

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            I can’t. Social security helps to keep the bread on the table. And pulled some short stuff like month/two weeks or that. I could never do longer. It was pretty hellish until I got to school.

          • Call the Slambulance

            Ahh, okay. That makes a hell of a lot more sense haha. I was thinking that you lived on Hoth and were the Paul Bunyan of snow.

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            Lol

    • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

      I know how you feel. Im growing very disillusioned and depressed because of my circumstances. At least I’m going to brunch on Sunday.

      • Call the Slambulance

        Enjoy that shit, man. Disillusionment isn’t a bad thing.

        • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

          Being unemployed and alone really gets to you. I’m constantly on my own and it’s driving me crazy that I have no human interaction.

          • Gotta put yourself out there dude. Go to a bar and catch a sports game or something

          • Call the Slambulance

            Fuck yeah, sportsball.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I don’t drink. I’m going to the Napalm Death show on Sunday which will be fun. Besides that my friends are usually busy so I can’t do stuff with them.

          • I don’t drink either, doesn’t mean I can’t go to a bar and get a soda or something. If only to get out of my house. Also, chicks dig it when a guy is committed to not drinking.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            That seems like a good idea.

          • case in point: Eduardo the Breegrodamus

          • KJM

            I can’t wait for herb to be legalized so I can spend 1/2 my spare time at the “coffee shop”.

          • more beer

            That`s if they allow it in public places. They don`t in Colorado. The pot tourism here is pretty funny. A tourist can buy it but they find out there is no place they can smoke it. Hotels nope, bars nope, in a park nope. As a resident I can smoke in my home, on my front or back porch. But basically that`s it. There are no Amsterdam styled coffee shops here. I wouldn`t hold my breath on them being there either.

          • KJM

            It won’t be public coffee shops at first, at least not in Massachusetts. It’ll be some kind of semi-private reservation only clubs at first. I think Washington State is already working on something like that now.

          • more beer

            It would be cool if they did that. If they follow Colorado`s rules as their model that isn`t part of it. Everything I`ve read about Washington State, there seems to be a lot of issues there. There are also the smoking tobacco in public laws. Which are something the state will cite as a reason not too allow it. I know when I go to shows here I have to go outside to get blazed.

          • KJM

            It would have to be a semi-private club situation because Massachusetts has public tobacco laws too. You can’t smoke in bars, clubs and especially restaurants.

          • more beer

            They have closed every place here that has tried this. The one end run is vaping. I`ve seen this at shows and in the vip section of festivals. There are always these self rightious assholes. Who want ruin other peoples good time. They are a real problem.

          • KJM

            There was a time(not long ago) in Massachusetts where you couldn’t even buy booze on Sunday or get a tattoo. I’m optimistic we’ll find a way around it that will stick. Of course there will be many larger towns/cities here that will have nothing to do with it but it’ll be their financial loss over time.

          • more beer

            There were a lot of places here that opted out of recreational. This option was written into Amendment 64. These places shouldn`t be allowed to profit off of the tax revenue . I`m amazed that alcohol sales in Massachusetts were not allowed on Sundays. As entrenched as the Kennedy’s are in that state. Since most of their fortune was made through bootlegging.

          • KJM

            Compared to the long history of conservative Puritanism in Massachusetts, the Kennedys are a grain of sand on a beach. It’s really gone the other way rapidly in the past 13-14 years or so. Blue laws were repealed. Marriage equality laws were passed. Even pot decrim was over 6 years ago.

          • Enjoy dude, saw them on Monday night and they killed it. Iron Reagan put on a good show as well.

          • Call the Slambulance

            I completely understand that. I get stir crazy when I don’t have enough interaction with people. Most of the time it’s harder for me to get myself out of it than anything.

    • Scrimm

      I feel you man. Shit’s been better on this end too.

      • Call the Slambulance

        I hope things get better for you, brolo.

        • Scrimm

          Same for you. I just have to find work, that will make a huge difference.

          • Call the Slambulance

            I bet, man. It’s terrible how money can have such a negative impact. I’m getting seriously shafted on hours right now and it isn’t helping things.

          • Scrimm

            Been there too man. I hope that picks up as well.

    • NefariousDude

      The toilet loves you bro

      • Call the Slambulance

        I love you too, Toilet <3

    • Edward/Breegrodamus

      If you want to email me to chat about it, or hell even call me, I took a break from playing Dragon Age to play this PExxx and I haven’t showered yet today – so I am available. Ha.

      • Call the Slambulance

        Hahaha thank you, man. I really appreciate it. I would have taken you up on your offer if I would have seen it earlier. But within the last few hours, I’ve definitely experienced a restoration of sanity, thanks to some good ol’ rigorous honesty. Power electronics and being filthy? All too perfect, Edboy.

    • I know this sounds like annoying, patronizing advice, but whenever I feel like I’m going to explode, I go for a run. No music, no phone, just run at my own pace until I get that runner’s high (which is totally a real thing). Afterwards, the rest of the day just melts away.

  • Your friendly neighborhood tyree, lawn mowing bunnies and burning cats on the stove

    • Lacertilian

      Curiosity only burned the cat this time, but the rabbits, they’re another story.

  • Bad: Been behind on work, can’t seem to get enough done no matter how hard I try to focus. Joined a new choir and learned that practice starts this weekend, and I have 50 minutes of music to learn by Sunday.
    Good: Hanging out with old friends tonight for some Starcraft.
    Ugly: I’m getting a hair cut tomorrow.

    • YourLogicIsFlushed

      That focus on work thing is a real pain sometimes. *closes browser* *writes one sentence of proposal* *hm, wonder what’s goin on in the Toilet* *opens browser*

      • I blocked the site this week, it worked for a bit but then i got to the point where I literally just stare at the screen

      • That’s deadly accurate.

    • Guacamole Jim

      DON’T CUT IT TOO SHORT. Remember a little fellow called “Sampson”?

      • One of my USPMC friends just shaved his head (he had beautiful long hair). I’m going to take a picture and freak everyone out tomorrow. Watch my wall for lulz (i’m just getting a trim, these split ends gotta go!)

    • KJM

      What is this “hair cut” of which you speak? I know it not.

    • I can relate on the work front. People have left, they have not been replaced. Upper management cannot understand why I’m behind. Ass backwards logic.

  • sweetooth0

    I still have 2.5hrs of work until the beer starts to flow. DAMMIT!

  • sweetooth0

    Your sister sounds like my brother Tyree, minus the hellcat. So glad he’s not in my house anymore. His room smelled so fucking bad you’d get a faceful of rotting compost+sour B.O. every time I walked by it in the hallway.

    • Tyree

      I love her to death but goddamn woman! She just turned 21 and she parties with a bunch of BRO PSU students. Fucking awful!

      • hey at least you know the lingo well enough to fit in

        • MoshOff

          I’m still thinking about getting my BA in bro studies.

        • Tyree

          I don’t go near that shit sir.

      • KJM

        At least you love your sister despite all that. Mine could die tomorrow and I probably wouldn’t bat an eyelash.

  • YourLogicIsFlushed

    Bad: Working a bit late tonight.
    Good: Tyree’s dog looks like a fuckin boss. Also excited to get working on a few Porcelain Throne articles this weekend from you fine folks.
    Ugly: Slush-snow.

  • DDubya.

    Bad: My dissertation defense is now a month away, and the clock is ticking!
    Good: Two of my papers are getting published!
    Ugly: I normally eat very healthily during the week, but I’ve gotten a bunch of free pizza the last few days, so my bowel movements have been way off.

    • Tyree

      I pooped 5 times today; the last two times were just sloppy liquid shits. Hangovers will do that.

      • TMI

        • DDubya.

          I didn’t know people said that anymore.

          • Don’t they?

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            They do

          • DDubya.

            I don’t think I’ve heard someone younger than 30 say that in years.

          • Herr Schmitty

            They do. Dubya just didn’t note that, due to his surroundings, he has not interacted with anybody under 30 in a decade.

          • DDubya.

            I genuinely didn’t think people still used TMI. Well, TIL. My apologies, senor @webb71:disqus.

          • Akercocke ov Steele

            #GeezerinChief

          • Stanley

            I thought it was only old farts that used it.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            They still do.

          • I think they only use it when they mention morbid obesity nowadays.

        • David Vincent’s Spandex Tapir

          Morbid

      • Dagon

        Add some pepper to your diet, makes liquid shits much more fun.

      • Scrimm

        Hope you didn’t trust any farts.

        • Tyree

          Nah, I know when it’s going to be sloppy.

          • Scrimm

            Famous last words.

          • Tyree

            Indeed. I’ve made the mistake once at work a few years back. I had to sneak out of the office and drive home and actually shower.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            That’s an awesome story, yet frightening

          • Tyree

            Yes, very. It was quite the mission to get out unseen and unsmelled.

          • DDubya.

            Been there, done that. I just threw my draws away in the bathroom and used handsoap to clean my butt because I didn’t have a great opportunity to slip out.

          • Dagon

            I ruined underwear, jeans and actually spilled in a sofa two months ago. The worst part is that I have no idea how it happened considering I wasn’t hungover or anything. Actually thought I might have Giardia or some shit like that at the time.

          • Scrimm

            I had an ugly one in walmart.

          • JvRv

            i had an ugly one in Walmart. pooped all up my back and down my legs. Mom and Dad had to buy me a whole new outfit right there in the store.

            Oh yeah I was 1 year old

          • KJM

            I once had to risk taking a dump outside right near Kenmore Sq. There was nothing I could do about it.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        At least you’re regular. Hail shit!

      • Oh good, I’m not the only one.

      • Worst if you’ve been binging, and you get those clear, acidic shits. FUCK, those things BUUUUUUURN!!!!!

    • Dagon

      Free pizza is worth it.

    • Eat your greens DDubya, makes a huge difference.

    • Dubya’s bowel movements: because inquiring minds want to know!!!! *puts the mic up to your butthole and lets it speak it’s mind*

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    Hail beer. Fuck the world.

  • Dagon

    THE BAD: My internet got cut from lack of payment, lol. Just completely forgot to pay November’s bill.

    THE GOOD: We’re up and running again, and celebrating later with some cold CERVEJA to feed my PANCEPS.

    THE UGLY: Blobfish.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RET5bdAYUuQ&feature=youtu.be

  • Scrimm

    Best story ever Tyree. My good friend has a cat that is so old I can’t believe it’s still alive. That thing is awesome but he’s so fucking smart and has pulled some unbelievable shit over the years. He also pets people.

  • Bad: Brutal-ass work deadlines
    Good: Playing the last show for a while tonight!
    Ugly: My body is a giant scab.

  • ” cat lunged at the pan as I lifted it up and walked on the burning stove and made the loudest and most painful scream I’ve heard in a long time.” That’s why you got to record everything man. You could have used that scream as a sample for one of your songs.

  • Guacamole Jim

    Bad: I hate my job with a fiery passion, but I need money right now.
    Good: Working at a community dinner (for homeless folks) tonight with a bunch of buddies. Should be a blast!
    Ugly: I don’t know what I ate yesterday, but I’ve had flaming shits all day today, making it really awkward to work. Fuck.

  • Jefrey Waylon Mann

    Good: KSoFM returned
    Bad: no GL

    • Guacamole Jim

      Where is that loveable rascal?

      • DDubya.

        On a trip.

        • Guacamole Jim

          The things I miss when I don’t check the Toilet as soon as the articles go live.

  • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

    The Good: Overall been a good week (a rarity) Got a letter from the Police department, shit’s gonna happen.
    The Bad: Having discussions about starting intensive therapy
    The Ugly: How things are gonna end if I don’t get to keep this new job of mine.

    • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

      Also, Staying sober is hard, How does @Edward/Breegrodamus do it? Staying away from the stuff.

      • Call the Slambulance

        Good luck with your journey, man! Sobriety can be a motherfucker at points, but not having to live that life is an immense blessing.

        • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

          I’m not gonna do it forever, just need to prove to myself that I can if I so choose.

          • YourLogicIsFlushed

            I’ve always been weird about that, terrified of becoming reliant on things, even like prescribed medication. I have learned to be great at moderating myself, hopefully you can prove yourself right!

          • Easiest way is to not buy it. I tend to drink more the more I drink (one beer? why not another? why not 2? 3?).

            At shows, that’s harder, so I buy more expensive beer at shows to slow me down ($7 for this delicious brown ale? better sip it and enjoy it.)

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            At shows I just go for that white russian.Beer ain’t any cheaper. And that doesn’t do good things for me I guess.

      • MoshOff

        I guess it’s a lot easier if you’ve never tried alcohol (my case), I imagine it would be very tempting.

        • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

          + Finland is known for Alcoholism. It’s genetic.

          • a friend told me that too, scary :/

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            I’d be more scared to live in Venezuela. No offense. It’s just I guess what you get used to. You have to face the facts and fuck the reality when it spreads it’s legs.

          • uhhh.. I got no words for this right now lol

      • KJM

        I don’t drink, but I am far from a sober person. I can go without herb for extended periods but you don’t want to be around me.

        • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

          I know those days.

          • KJM

            I’ve sprained my wrist punching walls before, better that than people I guess.

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            I’ve never done that me’self. But a friend once broke his hand ounching walls. For different reasons though.

          • more beer

            Depends on the person.

        • Herr Schmitty

          Bruh. Where are the portland herb providers? I’ve had 1,023 leads this week, and not a damn one came through. My normal guy has dropped off the grid.

          • KJM

            I know nothing of Portland these days. If this were the 90s I would’ve given you a couple numbers to call. At the very least you would’ve ended up with new friends.

            Somerville is but 2 hours away…

      • Edward/Breegrodamus

        Pretty serious commitment to a 12 Step recovery program, having a sponsor and sober friends, regular attendance to meetings, seeing someone professionally like you mentioned above ^

        There is even more to it than that, lol

        I went to inpatient treatment for my last time seven plus years ago and my first day there is my sobriety date.

        • Guacamole Jim

          Wow dude. Good on you. I’m on a dry spell right now – my aforementioned troubles were alcohol related, so I’m taking a break from it.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            Guac is that something you mentioned on this particular post? I can dig it up.

        • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

          Dammit that is way too much work for my tiny brain.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            It’s actually simpler than I probably make it sound. It does take commitment and a certain amount of desperation in the beginning.

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            As I say somewhere here, this ain’t for good. But honestly, it doesn’t seem like something I could do (Am very familiar with the 12 step) without being strapped to a bed.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            Yeah. It’s not something I really encourage for other people unless they want to do it. Nothing worse than people who are overtly preachy about fill in the blank.

    • Good luck with everything, man. My cousin recently started therapy, he was diagnosed with schizophrenia and has apparently had it since he was about 12. It’s helped him a ton, though. He seems much more stable and happier now.

      • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

        I’m not very excited about that. Partially because the stamp it leaves.

        • If you’re talking about the stigma around mental health, yeah it really sucks that there is one. On the other hand, people will get over it. You’re still the same dude, you’re just getting help for a medical condition. Love you, bear!

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            Thanks.
            (Was referring to the fact it’s harder to get a job, practically impossible at me preferred field.)

    • Therapy? Must be harsh, man, but some things we can’t really do on our own.

      • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

        Yeah. I wager I’d rather be somewhere else than there, but it can’t be helped.

  • M Shadows!

    Bad: papa hetfield called me fat and insulted my hair 🙁

    Good: M Shadows!

    Ugly: LOOFAHS

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Bad: M PORTNOY!

      Good: M SHADOWS!

      Ugly: M PORTNOY!

  • Call the Slambulance

    New good: Dank as fuck memes

  • Call the Slambulance

    New ugly: Too much #toilethumor

    • Never

    • Guacamole Jim

      EEWW

    • TO THE TOP

    • Further Down the Metal Hole

      I was going to post something, but when I googled “disgusting” I just felt sick and closed the tab. FUCK DAT SHIT.

      • Call the Slambulance

        I’m on a quest to do that now. I will return with great tales of my journey.

    • Tyree
    • Stanley

      Wow. That toilet would never flush again if that missile went down it. Good job he/she picked it out. I hope it wasn’t a she.

      • Call the Slambulance

        Nothin’ sexier than a woman who can handle her own gargantuan logs, amirite???

  • Paris Hilton

    Bad: Missed 2 BUTTFUCKING WORKOUTS this week and I’m not too impressed about it.
    Good: Despite this I am making excellent gains with a new, refreshed routine! I am also getting HELLA LAID this weekend!
    Ugly: Diamond Cup on F-Zero GX

    • Call the Slambulance

      Buttfucking workouts are the best workouts. I recommend investing in the Sodomizer.

    • I’ve missed a month or two of workouts. It’s beginning to drive me nuts.

      • Paris Hilton

        I know that feel… It’s like being in a prison!

      • Dagon

        Thankfully I’ve been pretty disciplined since the beginning of the year. Results are starting to come in and dieting hasn’t sucked.

    • I accidentally cut a bunch of weight and now the 5-3-1 thing I was doing is kinda worthless. IF ONLY WE HAD A FITNESS COLUMN TO HELP ME OUT!

    • Call the Slambulance
    • F-Zero GX >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

      • Paris Hilton

        Diamond Cup is starting to make me lose my fucking mind! I used to be so good at that game now I can’t beat Diamond on Expert like I’m some kind of fucking casual pleb!!! WHEHEHEHJKRAEHRIOEHJRQEIHRIOQWE

        • everyone’s all like CAPTAIN FALCON but man that dude is for casuals when it comes to the race track. Custom or bust

          • Paris Hilton

            Custom is the way to go! Falcon isn’t bad but he’s definitely for plebs. Also Black Bull can be really really really FUCKING good if u learn how to drift with him!

          • Seriously, Black Bull is a monster but you better know that track REAL well

          • Paris Hilton

            Yeah! You need to know the tracks better than you know your own mother if you want to win with him! Especially on expert or master!!

      • JvRv

        F-Zero >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

    • Dagon

      On bandcamp?

  • old_man_doom

    Bad: got a cold and i still have some women problems. Not sure which is worse.
    Good: got a job as an ESL specialist at a local college. Good to know my degree is going to start paying off.
    Ugly: i ate 3 maple bars last night. I’m expecting a literal shitshow at some point today.

    • What are maple bars?

      • is that like jalapeno chips or pepperoni cocks?

      • old_man_doom

        Gigantic dougnuts covered in maple icing. It’ll fuck you up

    • Edward/Breegrodamus

      Women problems are always worse than the common cold.

  • Further Down the Metal Hole

    Good: My mother’s visiting from this week. We solved a case together in the new Sherlock Holmes game called Crime and Punishment. I love it when she becomes all enthusiastic about computer games, being from a generation who had none. She loved it!

    Bad: I have to wait nearly a whole month until Dying Light is released and I can have mad fun in coop with my bro.

    Ugly: I’d probably be really fit if I didn’t always go for that one snack every day. I hate myself every time, until I take that first bite from that snack. Enjoy life, brah!

    • Dagon

      That’s awesome. I never managed to get my folks slightly interested in games.

      • Further Down the Metal Hole

        Using the ones that involve more “brains” usually works. GTA and your average zombie game haven’t been hits this far, haha.

        • Dagon

          I only tried as a child, though. I got movies with moms and poker with dad to serve as activities/conversation fodder so I’m good now.

          For some reason Megaman X and Street Fighter weren’t major hits among parents.

      • My dad used to CRUSH me at Age of Empires and Warcraft. Then we’d play Unreal Tournament. Hue. We both enjoyed slaughtering each other at our respective genres of choice

        • Lacertilian

          The original AoE was fun

  • Further Down the Metal Hole

    On topic: the cat probably is an arsehole from being neglected a bit. Mine never beg or try to steal some food whenever someone is around. If a plate is left unattended, that’s an entirely different matter though…

    • Further Down the Metal Hole

      Because…

  • JWG

    I am at the dentist’s office complex right now. Healthy teeth are a good thing. The bad is that my dentist is 90 minutes by bus from home, which I’m dealing with only because of loyalty to family (her main hygienist is my sister).

    My sister is looking to move to a practice that’s on my university campus though, which vastly improves both travel time and likelihood they can find a way to my Graduate Student Dental plan actually cover the whole thing instead of just parts. That will be good.

    There is no ugly part, as long as I treat my dental health with proper diligence.

  • Jefrey Waylon Mann
  • Dagon

    New bad: Bandcamp is bailing on me again. Y U DO THAT 2 ME

    • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

      BC no like a fish people.

      • Dagon

        Their servers will taste the wrath of the oceans.

  • The Bad: this week i’ve learned that my engine is slowly losing compression and will eventually die (the joys of owning a rotary)
    The Good: this weekend begins Mardi Gras celebrations in St. Louis (second only to New Orleans).. so BEER.
    The Ugly: Dark Souls 2 is stuffing me in a locker

    • Dagon

      Let us know how many beads you get! I’d throw you one.

    • Scrimm

      Be safe.

    • Lacertilian

      The Bad: so you’re going to let it die slowly or will you be a hero and sacrifice it in an unholy ritual of flames, thus ending the turmoil of slow-death?

  • Stanley

    The Good: I got a new PR at the Surf City Half Marathon.

    The Bad: I threw up four steps past the finish line. (I actually threw up just before the line but managed to keep it in my mouth until I crossed).

    The Ugly: Finish line photo. Rough. (See picture below complete with vomit just starting to leak out of the left side of my mouth).

    • Edward/Breegrodamus

      It would have been awesome just to let the vomit fly for this photo.

      • cosigned

      • Stanley

        Oh, it flew alright. I was hoping that there would have been a picture of me doubled over with my hands on my knees but either they didn’t capture it or they didn’t to post it on their website.

    • Further Down the Metal Hole

      This is both awesome and terrible at the same time. Congratudolences?

      • Stanley

        Thanks man. I haven’t been sick from exertion since rugby training about 20 years ago.

  • Good: feeling ALOT better this week. The last two weeks were fucking horrible dealing with my grandma being sick, passing away, and learning the dark details of the whole thing (starving herself over a long period, talking about wanting to die, a dark and bizarre living will, hallucinating, and everything pointing to dementia). I’ve had a good bit of time to roll the whole thing through my mind, talk about it, and move on.
    And hung out with a super cool chick on Tuesday. We talked mostly films and about life in general the whole time, so that was nice.

    Bad: Nothing so far this week. Things have been pretty chill as of late.

    The Ugly: Still waiting to hear back on job interviews. I put in one for volunteer work at the local maritime museum, so fingers crossed.

    • Dagon

      I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother. I’ve lived with mine since the beginning of my life (she actually did most of the raising considering how much both my parents worked) and I can honestly tell you that I feel your pain, man.

      I’m glad things started to pick up for you.

    • glad to hear things are improving! on the “super cool chick” front… i think the recommend timeframe before telling her about us is at least a week.

  • Matt Damon

    Good: MATT DAMON
    Bad: MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY
    Ugly: ANNE HATHAWAY

    http://media.giphy.com/media/klVQWCvnaU70A/giphy.gif

  • Bad: I had to watch my grandma die Wednesday night. Cancer fucking sucks, man.

    Good: She’s no longer in pain or suffering, and she had a damn good life. My dad’s tests since he had surgery for his cancer have come back overwhelmingly positive, looks like he’s basically in the clear.

    • Respect and good vibes!

    • Scrimm

      Sorry to hear.

    • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

      That’s not nice (why does everyone die now!?) But good news is good news. Right? And the latter is good news.

    • Further Down the Metal Hole

      Condolences, can’t imagine what that’s like.

      • It was shitty, but at least she died with her family around her, and in her own home. She made it past her birthday which was a few weeks ago, and she saw almost all her friends and family then, which was nice.

        • Those were the few positives with my grandma’s passing as well. She was a bit short of her 79 birthday (March 1), though.

    • Dagon

      Sending you all the love, man. Grandmother stories always get to me.

    • oh no, sorry guy! been there, it’s bad. cancer’s the worst, it needs to chill the fuck out.

    • My condolences, amigo!
      Great news about your dad being in the clear, and hope it stays that way!

    • Akercocke ov Steele

      Had a relative succumb to the beast long before they should have. Deepest condolences to you.

    • KJM

      My condolences, and FUCK CANCER.

    • Herr Schmitty

      Yeah man, I was there with my grandma last April. Alzheimer’s in her case. Like you, while we (family) were sad that she passed, mostly it was a fucking relief; she was suicidal and fucking angry as shit for the last two months and constantly complaining of pain, no matter how much morphine she got. It sucked for her and everyone taking care of her (a family effort. Sometimes it was me and my old lady; sometimes uncles and aunts, cousins, whoever.) and frankly, everyone was glad when it was over. We miss her, but it was her time, and no good was going to come from her living longer.

      I’m definitely sorry for your loss, but it seems you have a good handle on all of this. I wish you and your family the best.

    • Stanley

      My thoughts are with you. My wife’s mum has angio sarcoma. It’s a vicious beast of a cancer. She’s on a clinical trial at the moment so fingers crossed.

    • Jormungandr

      No good. My grandpa was just told he has a year. Sorry for your loss.

    • Virgil the Ghost Poet

      Sorry.

    • tertius_decimus

      Sorry for your loss, man. Be strong! Best wishes to you and your family!

  • NefariousDude

    Bad: I’m too lazy to do anything (even comment on the toilet)

    Good: I have tomorrow off and A big bag of “herbs” and a twinkle in my eye

    Ugly: Probably tyrees good for nothing sister

    • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

      Not if she’s half as gorgeous as he is.

      • NefariousDude

        Bottom or top half?

        • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

          Well I ain’t seen Tyree’s bottom…

          • something tells me it’ll be on FB one day…

          • Lacertilian

            I thought you were trying to recruit people to the FB group?

  • CyberneticOrganism

    BAD: I hate February. It’s the bleakest, coldest, driest month of the year, and not in a cool kvlt or The Thing kinda way either. Everything in my place is alive with static and it makes me want to crawl into a frozen hole in the forest and wait for Spring.

    GOOD: Working on a cover song + cold Zombie Dusts in the fridge.

    UGLY: uhh… your butt

    • Guacamole Jim

      My butt is pristine.

    • Further Down the Metal Hole

      Fuck cover songs, we want more original Deus Ex songs!

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Thanks! Those are in the works too, the cover song is meant as a get-the-ball rolling, fine-tune-my-sound kinda thing. Also just for fun.

        • Further Down the Metal Hole

          Hehe, just busting your balls. I#ll definitely listen to it. As industrial metal goes, Fear Factory and Deus Ex are the only things on the menu for me.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Supremely cool compliment. m/

    • plz cover Nickelback

  • Edward/Breegrodamus

    Bad: I have to work Saturday and Sunday which is the start of a seven day work rotation.

    Good: I officially have a girlfriend. It’s also my last weekend on at my second job.

    Ugly: This shit. I’m playing it now. It’s ugly… in a good way.

    https://theauditor.bandcamp.com/album/vernepator-cur

    • HELL YEAH NEE”BRO”DAMUS, GET YOU SOME.

    • This is really going to cut down on the number of ladies you can date.

      • Edward/Breegrodamus

        It’s the end result and best possible result of all of that chicanery.

    • whoa, slow down there Snowpiercer. okay fine, BRO-fist for having a girlfriend! but don’t you dare leave us…

    • woohoo! good vibes!

    • BAXXX BXAXXBXAXX

      Pics or it didn’t happen!

      Kidding. Congrats!

    • You’re still my Saturday Night Thing though! Now come over here, bend over and let me check your oil! *cracks the whip*

    • Tyree

      The Ladies Man.

    • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

      Congrats. I wish I could say I had a gf but I do not.

      • what happened with the girl with whom i had to compete? did you ditch her for me? cause i was just playin’ hombre

        • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

          That lasted all of two days.

    • Edward/Breegrodamus

      also Ugly: me / my hair. I need to cut / shave this shit ASAP

      • Lacertilian

        I just shaved my head as my hair was the longest it has been in at least 5 years.
        It was about 18mm.

  • GreenleafGreenleaf

    Bad: I can no longer be a lazy shit all the time because…
    Good: I got hired! Which is really great! I’m going to work in the paint department of a hardware store. + I just got my truck newly smogged, registered, and insured.
    Ugly: I spent a lot of time at the DMV today. What a shithole.

  • Good: tonight is WoW night/random SNES emulated game. Tomorrow I will trip to my hometown to visit my family.

    I’m happy, so I don’t have bad/ugly stories this friday, because I’m in love:

    #FLUSHTHEPOSERS #FLUSHTHEHATERS #FLUSHTHEFALSE #FLUSHTHEEGOISTS #ROAR

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGgMZpGYiy8

  • Oh and a new Enslaved lyric video for the good part!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=a640Wu6PQbs

  • Tyree

    So fuck. My boss and long time friend just got laid off along with some other employees. I some how survived and got a raise out of it. Fucking fucked up shit!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Guacamole Jim

      …. hooray.. I guess??

    • Lacertilian

      Yay capitalism

  • BAXXX BXAXXBXAXX

    It’s not the cats fault, tyree, it’s the owner. Also, your beard is looking pretty majestic, bro.

    The good: it’s Friday, scrugs. I don’t have to work tomorrow. Plenty o money for booze fueled gaming.

    The bad: meh.

    The ugly: everyone’s faces.

  • EsusMoose

    Good: Finally got a hair cut so I don’t look like I’m myself from highschool
    Bad:Still have yet to pull together a presentation and get ready for my interview
    Ugly: Roommate is having a birthday party so though there be many women and I do want to drink like Tyree, I’m not in the mood for a social event so I’m gonna have to drink and fast to be lively lifelover. I’m not a social person so party’s are no bueno
    Hearing Hadopelegiac II from pelegial is wonderful right now.

    • agree: Pelegial is wonderful
      disagree: party’s are no bueno
      good luck: presentation and interview!

      • BAXXX BXAXXBXAXX

        Lets fucking party.

      • EsusMoose

        Thanks, and I’m usually alright with parties but I’ve been abnormally productive with keeping up with stuff so a nice night of drinking and laying about would be nice to collect myself

  • Dagon
  • Lacertilian

    I’m off to watch The Kingsman.
    that is all.

    • you should review it for the Tarlet!

      • EsusMoose

        MAKE AN OPINION FOR ME!

      • Lacertilian

        It definitely borrows more than it gives, let’s put it that way.

  • Bad: Winter. College.

    Good: Toilet. Vidya. PBR.

    Ugly: Still procrastinating that whole job thing.

  • BAXXX BXAXXBXAXX

    What you twerkin wit?

    • KJM

      Wild Turkey. Hunter S Thompson would be proud.

      Still waiting for my ‘grocer’ to show up though.

      • BAXXX BXAXXBXAXX

        Its not just wild turkey, its single barrel kentucky spirit. we ordered a case because the liquor store didn’t have it. $52 a bottle 😉 as you can see, the other isn’t a problem, either.

        Hopefully you dont have to wait too long.

        • KJM

          He’s en route, shouldn’t be much longer.

    • We must have similar phones, Xxxxxxx Xxxxx

      • BAXXX BXAXXBXAXX

        Thats my new Galactic Notation 4, provided by work.

  • KJM

    People like that should have their pets taken away from them, makes my fucking blood boil.

  • David Vincent’s Spandex Shirt

    F***K you I won’t do watch tell me! https://s3.amazonaws.com/mno.products/15723/dce12bd0dd.jpg

  • Akercocke ov Steele

    Good: Bought some blanks so I can burn some downloads that are too rare/expensive to find on regular CD. (Flatt & Scruggs YIPPEE!)
    Good 2: Called the luthier. My Precision should be ready in less than a week (Even got a personal engraving on the headstock)

    Good 3: The Hemishpheres album is coming along swimmingly playing-wise. Now just to perfect Red Barchetta and I can maybe upload a youtube vid one day.

    Bad: iTunes decided to update with the cloud and in the process deleted everything not bought from the iTunes store from iTunes itself (Still in the files, just have to retransfer/classify EVERYTHING)

    Ugly: Watching the Good, the bad, & The Ugly. Shit’s gnarly, in a Tyree-defined way.

  • Herr Schmitty

    Bad: Somehow in a massively weed friendly city, I’ve been dry for two fucking weeks. I’m running out of resin and keef to smoke, I’m getting to the very end of my stockpiled edibles and I’m getting ornery about finding a new perma-dealer. I’ve had two since i moved here, and now one is out of the game and the other has gone completely off the grid. WHO THE FUCK WANTS TO SELL SOME HERBAL MERCHANDISE TO ME, NEW ENGLAND?!

    Good: Otherwise, life’s good, man. I’m losing weight (not connected to the above) and am in a good mood most of the time. Can’t ask for much more than that!

    • BAXXX BXAXXBXAXX

      You live too far from me, Mr. WorstToiletOpinions.

      • Herr Schmitty

        A for effort, all is forgiven.

        By the end of the year, this shit won’t be a problem anymore. I’ve got enough chronic (back, shoulder, migraines) pain to legitimately qualify for medical up here, but there’s a fairly long process (need 6 months of doctors’ visits to qualify plus a recommendation) before I get to that point. We got some good bud festivals up here, but none until June. I’m definitely not trying to wait until June.

        • BAXXX BXAXXBXAXX

          While my state is becoming more progressive (oh, how I hate that word), it will probably be a while before it quits its antiquated ideology.

    • KJM

      Dry in Portland? Damn…

      Come to Somerville. I’ll hook you up.

      • Herr Schmitty

        Real shit? Because I’m approaching being willing to drive where the fuck ever to make it happen.

        • KJM

          Hell yeah. The next 4 days are gonna be shit weather as you know but after that…

          • Herr Schmitty

            Awesome. It just so happens that I’m going to Boston on Wednesday (the 11th) to go see Periphery at Paradise Rock Club. Hit me up at my e-mail (smis0041@gmail.com) and I’ll pass along my contact info! If you’re available Wednesday, we can go from there.

            Sincerely, thanks!

    • You could grow your own, like uh…my friends do

      • KJM

        That’s a good solution if you have the space and the patience. Unfortunately I have neither.

        • BAXXX BXAXXBXAXX

          & money

          • KJM

            That helps too.

      • Herr Schmitty

        Hehehehe, not in my apartment building. Every once in a while they go probing around the apartments. Not often, but too often to set up a real operation… and they prohibit growing even if you have the correct medical cards to make it happen.

  • Based Tapir

    Bad: Finnish postal service sucks.
    Ugly: my mom
    Good/slightly bad: I have two extra corgis staying at my place for the weekend.

  • The good: Weekend and alcohol consumption
    The bad: more snow in the forecast, I seriously need to GTFO the Northeast, I despise winter
    The Ugly: Joan Rivers was ugly I think

    • Gon’ be 70 degrees and sunny all weekend in Texas brah! Get outta the permafrost.

    • Herr Schmitty

      Dude, this snow is great! 4 ft and counting here in Portland, what are you lookin’ at?

      But yeah, Saturday-Tuesday, snow every day.

      • If my car gets a dusting, that’s enough to piss me off.

  • Edward/Breegrodamus
  • KJM
    • FeelTheDarkness

      I took my wife to see Flogging Molly a few years back and we got a chance to hang with them. So I went up to Dave King and asked him a question about playing in Fastway and he gave a shitty look and said that band was rubbish and then he quickly turned away. So I gave him the finger.

      • KJM

        Good response.
        Damn, talk about being ashamed of your past for no good reason.

  • Edward/Breegrodamus
  • Based Tapir
    • Lacertilian

      910?

      • Based Tapir

        Wat?

        • Lacertilian

          CMX

          • Based Tapir

            Cloaca Maxima

          • Lacertilian

            !!!

          • Based Tapir
          • Lacertilian

            I like the music but I have no idea about the vocals/lyrics, I only know English & Bogan.

          • Based Tapir

            The lyrics are written in an imaginary language called Finnish. Both of the songs are from the same album, which is a sci-fi type concept album about the Wonter King.

  • And also on the good side, finally got around to listening to Angels And Agony after all these years and loving it:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOQLlJ0f3a0&list=PLNxSzmhiT2bix6E5AMOEHP37xCTeeuuSu&index=15

  • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

    My computers having problems so I have to use my phone as my primary Internet device. It’s depressing.

    • KJM

      What’s the issue?

      • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

        I have to reinstall Windows on it but I don’t remember where the original disc is. The computer finally needed to be fully reset.

        • KJM

          Does it not boot up at all or does it give you an error message?

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            It doesn’t boot up at all.

          • KJM

            I assume the PC itself works(powers up, fans work, etc)??

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            Yeah it powers up and the fans work.

          • BAXXX BXAXXBXAXX

            Likely the hard drive then, but it could still be a million other things

        • BAXXX BXAXXBXAXX

          Do what you want, cuz a pirate is free!

          Srsly, fuck microsoft.

  • I’m getting crunk tonight! (see pic below)
    Good: Found a pretty kick-ass apartment that is close to where I’m going to college this fall.
    Good 2: I only have to have one roommate (which will be my friend). Previously, I was having to look at a 4-bedroom apartment and I didn’t particularly like the two other dudes who were going to be rooming with me. My main problem was that they both were extremely messy (whereas I keep things neurotically clean) and smoked (the smell of cigarettes makes me physically ill).
    Bad: The rent is fucking expensive.
    Ugly: I ate a shit ton of asparagus and now my piss smells horrific.

  • BAXXX BXAXXBXAXX

    My old lady and I checking out at the grocery store w/ 2 12 packs of Sierra Nevada mixpacks.
    18 y/o grl cashier and bagger: “Are you guys having a party?”
    Us: “no, we’re not having a party.”

    http://33.media.tumblr.com/ac243bf640b808c6fbef79df9de364a4/tumblr_n42wggVJz51rnf5opo1_r1_500.gif

    • Stanley

      I’m just easing into the evening with one of these. Hoppy but not a lot of body.

      • BAXXX BXAXXBXAXX

        Stone is one of my go-tos. We had a mix pack of theirs maybe last week w/ the Black IPA and Ruination. All the stuff they make tickles my peter.

        • Stanley

          I like Ruination a lot more than this one. Cooking dinner listening to Orden Ogan drinking beer. Perfect Friday evening. I tell you what though, that Hammerfall guy doing the vocals on song 9 sounds like Michael Sweet of Stryper

          • BAXXX BXAXXBXAXX

            I have a pretty big hard-on for Hammerfall.

          • BAXXX BXAXXBXAXX

            In fact, we have some pint glasses from Stone that read, “It’s not too expensive, you’re too cheap!”

          • Stanley

            I went to the brewery last May. It’s a huge, modern, industrial looking place and they had loads of great brews that are only on available on site.

    • Lacertilian

      What’s in the mixpack?
      Does it contain a Southern Hemisphere Harvest Ale?

      • BAXXX BXAXXBXAXX

        boomerang IPA (LOLBUTTZ), porter, coffee stout, pale ale

    • KJM

      My friend had many stops to make but he finally got here.

  • Original Cement

    The bad: I still have not come down from that weird tab of acid I dropped in ’87’.
    The good: I still have not come down from that weird tab of acid I dropped in ’87’.
    The ugly: sometimes I look in a mirror and freak out for a couple of hours.

    • KJM

      That ‘tab’ must’ve been raw crystal. Yum.

      • Lacertilian

        *salivates profusely*

        • KJM

          Even thinking about it is setting my teeth on edge and putting THAT TASTE in my mouth. Yeesh!

          • Lacertilian

            No time for tasting, double dump and put your feet up!

    • Sure that wasn’t crank or krokodil?!

  • Jormungandr

    Anybody else here bored/drunk?

    • Lacertilian

      I’m here, but not bored or drunk (yet)

      • Jormungandr

        Well drink up! Cheers!

        • Lacertilian

          What form of ethanol are you drinking there? Wherever you are

    • Yep! Join the Facebook group and get in on silly drunk posts!

  • JvRv

    Bad: I want to play some League but no one is on right now. where did all my friends go
    Good: MY BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW WOOOOOO ALSO I AM THE 333rd PAGEVIEW IF THAT THING IS TO BE BELIEVED!!
    Ugly: My room is a mess. not Tyree-sister-caliber messy but a mess nonetheless.

    Time to read about everyone else!

  • Lacertilian

    The Good: Just found out Iron Reagan are touring here in April.
    The Bad: Many things but I’m not going to whinge (for once).
    The Ugly: Most likely the inside of my lungs & liver.

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    the bad–the msm uses “nazism”as a triggerword—to associate with any kind of nationalism–in all pro rockefeller tv programming(ie..the history channel)

    the good—people are learning to start to see thru it–cuz of the internet

    the ugly—systematic deconstruction of language –destroys all pre internet world govt power structures–except the free..pure american constitution—as replacement for u.n. charter

    piss on adolf hitler
    1st–1/3 vol

    2nd-full vol

    3rd –1/4vol

    all at once
    http://youtu.be/iquBJsZyBLI
    http://youtu.be/S_xFuWmdhLk

    http://youtu.be/AnpTWKKWQ1o

  • bcvbcv

    long time follower, but i’m drunk, should i let a fat chick come over?

    • Lacertilian

      Is she a nice person or a gronk?