Flush It Friday: Birthday Dad Edition

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You’ll cowards don’t even Dad.

Good

In spite of my long-time stance on catastrophic overpopulation, constant financial uncertainty under the invisible hand fist of rampant neo-liberalism, and the ever-looming threat of buying a pair of white New Balance shoes, tucking in my t-shirt and spending my entire weekend loitering in chain hardware store aisles, I’m really enjoying the first year since becoming a Dad.

Bad

Railing up a line of hair. That would probably be bad.

Metal

Last time I Flushed the week away with you I embedded a Chilean death metal band featuring the South American equivalent of MVD on vocals, and as is the nature of the Chilean metal scene I’ve found yet another band that is just throwing down raw riffage for us to sink our teeth into. However, this time they’re more on the blackened side of the spectrum. Myst‘s style could be described as spectral, if only it wasn’t for the cold and tangible breath that rushes past your neck with the culmination of every refrain. Ghastly vocals adorn riffs that sound like a primal common ancestor of Gloam and Predatory Light. (Stream starts with a standard skip-able spoopy 2 minute ambient intro)


Now it’s your turn. Tell us all about your life, and other people’s lives. Even people you haven’t met. Be explicit in detail. We will make sure everyone not only reads, but memorises, every single paragraph you type. Don’t hold back. GO!


 

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  • Dubby Fresh
  • The Good: Doctor’s got me on some meds that have really helped me with my severe anxiety issues and depression. Also feeling better and sleeping a little better. Also lost twenty pounds in the last month or two with minimal effort on my part.

    The Bad: I haven’t been drinking nearly as much booze 🙁

    The Ugly: I’ve been on a real modern sleaze/glam metal kick lately. Bite my ass 😉

  • Señor Jefe El Rossover

    good/bad/ugly: Richter has me on a weird Gothrock kick.

    • I am sorry for your loss.

    • Dubby Fresh

      Welcome to life after hard rock?

      • Señor Jefe El Rossover

        Oooooh, that’s a good one.

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      Please tell me it involves Bauhaus and Jesus Lizard.

      • Señor Jefe El Rossover

        Has not involved them yet.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          Listen to them right now.

          • Señor Jefe El Rossover

            Right now? At this moment??? Sorry, no can do

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Bela Lugosis Dead is the reason goth rock exists. Same with Frankie Teardrop.

      • JL is not goth.

        • GOTH FIGHT!! GOTH FIGHT!!

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Y’all don’t even listen to The Specials on repeat.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          What next, is Jesus and Mary Chain not goth?

          • Not even a little.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Well at least Bauhaus is.

        • Señor Jefe El Rossover

          GL is not goth, either.

      • Dubby Fresh

        Jesus Lizard isn’t goth rock.

        • “AND RICHTER TAGS W IN FROM THE LEFT CORNER”

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          How about Lords Of The New Church? The Damned had period of being good goth rock.

          • Dubby Fresh

            You’re barking up the wrong tree here.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            No I’m not. Any post punk and goth rock is leagues ahead of tech death and black metal.

          • Dubby Fresh

            I meant that I’m not into goth, so I can’t point you in the right direction.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I know my 80s goth rock and I know my ska.

          • You are seriously all over the place! I love it

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            You should see my record collection.

          • Señor Jefe El Rossover

            323 LPs, 1 from each genre of music.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            It’s more than that.

          • more beer

            Slow down son it’s like you are speaking Chinese.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            “…leagues ahead of black metal”

            DISQUALIFIED!

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I never said I wasn’t a poser.

      • Storytime w/ JAG Pt II: I saw Jesus Lizard in the nineties. People got hurt at that show. It was insane. Also one of my friends told me when he saw them David Yow came out on stage and mumbled into the mic “we’re Jesus Lizard and we’re here to kick your asses!” and then fell of the stage and passed out.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          I’d so see them. Same with the Specials. I’ve heard the Specials are amazing live.

    • I am de Debil.

  • slipjackthewanderer

    Good: I’m closing on a giant house next Friday.
    Bad: I may miss Pyrrhon due to lack of funds.
    Ugly: The house sits on 5 acres I am not prepared to take care of.

    • A house that is 5 acres in size is a bit excessive. Do you really need 220,000 square feet??

    • Howard Dean

      Giant houses >>>>>

      (Disclaimer: The square footage is nice, but cleaning/upkeep is a pain in the ass. Currently trying to up my career game and hustle so I can hire cleaners).

      • slipjackthewanderer

        Yeah, I’m thinking of using the extra acreage to put on a small festival to help offset the cost. Maybe call it Jackfest or something stupid. Have a couple headlining national acts and fill the rest of the bill with no-names and locals. Of those, in leiu of payment, whoever can sell the most tickets gets to play. It’s a rock-solid business model *rubs hands vigorously together while cackling

        • As long as the bands have to sell tickets to play. Amirite??

        • Óðinn

          Maybe “jackfest” would be misunderstood. 🍆✊💨💦

          Good idea though.

    • Elegant Gazing Globe

      Enjoy being house-poor

    • GrumpDumpus

      WHO IS PYRRHON PLAYING WITH

      • slipjackthewanderer

        Yautja, Yowie and Van Buren.

  • Good: I took today off work.

    Bad: I took it off to see a pain specialist.

    Ugly: Course of treatment: Uh…keep on truckin.

    • Señor Jefe El Rossover

      Pain specialist?

      Kinky.

    • i believe we have a doctor in our midst.

  • Howard Dean

    Honestly didn’t realize that Lacertilian is black. Toilet ov Diversity. Also: Go Karts >>>

    Good/Ugly:

    https://scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/21687722_1868758420102744_3215014821376439136_n.jpg?oh=27aac92da373910bc48f99617b4f3e63&oe=5A3A0AFF

    • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

      COLD SORE ALERT

    • Lacertilian

      Nah, I’m white trash. It is my birthday though, and that photo of Viper is too good not to share.

  • Elegant Gazing Globe

    No bad no ugly today for this dad, only good because being a dad is awesome

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Good: got paid

    Bad:none

    Ugly: the song Billy No Mates.

  • Rolderathis

    G: Lazy weekend ahead, going to continue reading Battle Cry of Freedom (about the American Civil War), some vidyagames, also lots of cool music came out recently, been digging Squalus like WOAH.

    B: Nothing, last few weeks have been aight.

    U: I can put my hand through the holes in my shoes. I need new shoes. When I walk, small rocks get absorbed up into the sole and it’s <<<<<<<<

    • Joaquin Stick

      Squalus>>>>>>

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

    Dunno:

    Pal of mine convinced me to come along to a trap/drill/cloud rap gig with Ghostemane performing. BRING ON THAT CRACK PIPE!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBl7GqEX3ps

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJd3jEoP8yI

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzEAzEB9FTw

    • Señor Jefe El Rossover

      Uh… interesting.

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        Those shows can actually be kinda fun to tear some shit up. Ghostemane is definitely doing his own thing tho; schizophrenic psycho hip hop.
        I’ll still have stuff like that or even Chief Keef, Waka Flocka etc…over that J. Cole, Chance the Rapper etc…crap.

        THERE’S A TIME AND PLACE FOR GUILTY PLEASURES GODDAMIT!

        • Señor Jefe El Rossover

          I meant more of that in regards to the crack pipe comment, but yeah

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY
          • Señor Jefe El Rossover

            I don’t know what that means, hahahahaaaaaa

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            You just can’t do without lean when you’re in the trap!

          • FrankWhite is gonna turn into a robit

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            I’m going hard in tha paint!

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OpjWLPDNRw

          • more beer

            Eating a handful of Oxy’s seems much easier and has less risk of diabetes.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            True, but Oxy’s seem to be the kinda drug people who listen to Godsmack take. Lean is 100% trap and you gotta stay in the vibe!

          • more beer

            An opiate is an opiate.

          • KJM, Blood Farmer

            Binged bigtime last year, didn’t listen to Godsmack(or any bad music) once.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            I just always heard Oxy being described as the “hillbilly heroin”. Don’t really know how widespread its usage is.

          • KJM, Blood Farmer

            Actually my binge was plain old Oxycodone(aka Percocet), not quite the same thing.

          • Only thing I can figure from this picture is that you have a cold.

  • Dubby Fresh

    Good: My research team just landed a big 3-year Federal grant, and I’ll be the project manager (not the PI, tho). Yay for making it harder to fire me!

    Bad: Nothing serious. My dog doesn’t always eat breakfast, which can be frustrating, but she seems to make up for it during the day. She’s still healthy and happy.

    Ugly: I accidentally put too many jalapenos in the burritos last night. Stinghole is real.

    Metal: Been jamming this world music from some of the dudes behind Disembowelment.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKsQafQ1YbA

    • Storytime w/ JAG: The first time I ever tried chorizo I thought it was a substitute for taco meat and had like six tacos full of it. I can tell you all about stinghole.

      • Dubby Fresh

        I’ve definitely consumed chorizo that way, but you have to be scheduling some time on the john if you want to walk that path.

    • My rescue dog used to refuse to eat her food in the morning and would just graze throughout the day, but once we got the new puppy, we’ve been feeding them at the same time and just taking her food away if she doesn’t finish it in 15-20 mins. Now she eats all of it almost immediately every time.

      • Dubby Fresh

        We do feed her at the same times every day. She just sometimes won’t eat in the morning, but then she’ll scarf dinner down when I get off work and then mope around hungrily after her nightly walk/run.

  • We’re fostering kittens for a little while. A momma (who’s only a kitten herself, really) and two one-week olds. They’re really cute. Other than that, I’m taking tonight off work “sick” to re-play Final Fantasy IX and listen to old Malevolent Creation, Terrorizer, and Bolt Thrower (my “new” discovery…they’re fucking amazing). Massive used LP sale tomorrow!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/781d7a0439943a91ef7678c47f8f38e63dbdf33997bf256e53672b2376312489.jpg

  • Fine Sexy Ladies

    Good: My new position at work is going swimmingly.

    Bad: One of my staff is a shithead and left me high and dry during a 12 hour shift.

    Ugly: I’m in week 2 of working 60+ hour weeks until November, and I’m already exhausted and alarmingly lightheaded. I hope death comes soon.

    • So you are a lifeguard or something?

      • Fine Sexy Ladies

        I work at a group home agency that works with vulnerable adults with mental illness and traumatic brain injuries, and as of two weeks ago, I run and manage one of the homes.

        • Count_Breznak

          Oh, you teach at a college ?

          • Óðinn

            “Adults with mental illness and traumatic brain injuries.” Sounds more like the NFL or Donald Trump’s White House than a college.

        • Epic, man. Sounds like an awesome opportunity! Help where help is needed most. Awesome.

  • Lord of Bork

    Good: Got a new car to replace my ’02 Saturn. Took the day off for no reason. Heading to Chicago to party with old friends tomorrow.
    Bad: None. Edit: Just found out I have to miss Revocation/Cattle Decapitation/Artificial Brain so I can go to my friend’s stupid wedding. Weak shit.
    Ugly: I miss my shitty Saturn.

  • Freedom Jew

    Good: Partying like it’s 5778, because it is.

    Bad: I am so tired right now.

    Awesome: Got an aliyah yesterday.

  • Hans

    Good: Scored an awesome, obscure album with horrendous cover art. Paid a little less than the lowest offer on Discogs, and it seems to be in great condition.

    Question: Has anyone ever come across an album that has no mention of the year it was released anywhere?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAwIqFaVMDg

  • Retchin’ Rites ov Karhu

    TERVEISIÄ PERSEESTÄ
    YHTEISKUNNAN LUTEET
    RÄSSIHOUSUT
    JA LIITURAITAKUTEET

  • Hans

    Also been jamming some non-metal. TANZEN SIE!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNNldo1RlPs

  • Bad: Down with the sickness again.
    Good: Making some spoopy ass mixtapes for this month’s Patreon.
    Ugly: The amount of junk draining out of my sinuses.

  • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

    Good: Finally finished paying my car, so now with the extra money I’ll have every month I’ll start contributing to the Toilet’s Patreon. Also digging a lot the new Chelsea Wolfe album. Might review it

    Bad: Nothing really

    Ugly: Nothing really

  • Joaquin Stick

    Good: Settling in at the new job which means I can catch up on music finally. Going to Goose Island’s block party right after work. Barrel aged stouts aplenty!

    Bad: Still to busy to actually write things about music. At least for a few more days.

    Ugly: Almost nothing, being back in a city is the best.

    • The Mighty Thorange

      Barrel aged stout sounds amazing!

  • sweetooth0

    GOOD: 2 more hours and it’s weekend time. Almost finished my backyard reno project. One more plant/flower bed to install/assemble, then gotta stain/install some trim. Went and saw some pretty hilarious stand up comedy last night as I won tickets through my work. Was good times. Got notice of a refund for my Black Mourning Light fest as it got cancelled, so now I don’t feel as bad about not going to it, HA!

    BAD: Still tryin to get caught up back to some normalcy due to some shitty high interest loans I had to pay, so even though this was a payday week, it all went to bills.

    UGLY: Girlfriend just got some kind of fucked up notice from SGI (which is the
    motor license issuer/insurance company in Saskatchewan) due to a stupid
    speeding ticket and now they are trying to slap her with more fines and
    a license suspension due to some shitty driving behavior in the long
    ago past.

  • The Mighty Thorange

    GOOD: I seem to have a fucking job now! I will be getting paid soon and can contribute to this site on patreon.
    BAD: Had to trim the beard back to “normal” levels. So much for trying to grow it out.
    UGLY: British Politics right now.
    Metal: This metal version of an old Mongolian folk tune is cool as fuck. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nla0UG2ATko&list=RDNla0UG2ATko

    • Óðinn

      Congratulations on your new job!

      • The Mighty Thorange

        Cheers!

  • Óðinn

    UGLY: CLOSE TRUMP ALLY AND CAMPAIGN MANAGER PAUL MANAFORT IMPLICATED IN PRO-RUSSIAN ATTACKS ON US TROOPS
    http://fusion.net/story/338016/trump-manafort-marines-nato-protests/