Flush it Friday: A Quick Death in Texas

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All right, it’s my first time doing one of these Flushing posts, so bear with me and be gentle. Now, prepare to know more about my life than you have any interest in and offer up your own expressions of frustration with an uncaring world.

The Good: As most of you are probably aware, thanks to the magic of Facebook, I recently paid my first visit to Austin, Texas. I was there to attend the annual convention of the Modern Language Association. For all you non-nerds, this is the major professional organization for North American academics in literature and modern languages. The convention is held in a different city every year, and scholars and aspiring scholars fly in from around the world to give talks on topics you would all probably find mind-numbingly soporific, interview for jobs, drink heavily, and engage in ill-advised hookups.

Personally, I was mainly there for the job-seeking part. However, I also got to reunite with a few people I know from school and meet up with some bearded jerk who runs a heavy metal blog with a dumb name. I paid visits to two barbecue joints (no, neither was Franklin’s), an Alamo Drafthouse, and a whole bunch of bars on 6th, catching some sweet local bands like Carl Sagan’s Skate Shoes and Leche. So, all-in-all, good times. I would love to return sometime, preferably with my band in tow.

Speaking of which, the other good thing that’s been happening of late is that Nequient has been gearing back up after a few months of relative inactivity. We had to find a new bass player and practice spot, but now we have a couple new songs, we’re getting some fresh merch ready and we’re finally booking shows again. We have vague plans to play in Indianapolis, Milwaukee, Iowa City, Louisville, Nashville, and St. Louis, among other places, in the near future. If you have booking hook-ups or just a floor to crash on in any of those cities, please do get in touch. Either way, you’ll hear more about it as our plans solidify.

The Bad: Well, simply put, I’m 20 months past completing a terminal degree in my field of choice, and the future remains quite uncertain. I imagine the majority of you are probably at most peripherally aware of what’s currently going on in American academics, so I will just tell you that the career prospects are far from ideal. Basically the trend over the past few decades has been to funnel university budgets away from paying faculty and into, well, pretty much anything else. The result has been far fewer tenure-track jobs for people like me and more departments that rely on horrendously underpaid and overworked “part-time” teachers (most of them are stringing together full-time hours or more by working at multiple schools). I’ve done that contingent faculty jazz and it’s awful, so now I’m working an office job that at least has benefits, even if the salary is still questionable.

And man, both Lemmy and Bowie down so close together. Still not over that. Blackstar is unquestionably a final masterpiece, though. Let’s all watch that awesome video and feel sad together again.

The Ugly: I have a longstanding compulsion to watch television news, no matter how much it annoys me. Can you believe this Trump bullshit is still going on? It’s just goddamn embarrassing.

  • Dubs

    Yo Dr. K, I have a proposal. I’ll murder a tenured faculty member in the department of your choice, and you can off one of my choosing. That way new positions open up for both of us, but it won’t look suspicious.

    • Jason Kolkey

      Man, why has no one ever thought of this before? Look, I’ll meet you on a train so we can work out the deetz.

    • JWEG

      How about all of us academics in the TovH Community get together and launch an Online University?

      …Though less ‘University of Phoenix’ and more… reputable example (I can’t think of one).

      • ME GORAK, RIFF OV WEEK CHAMP

        GORAK INVENT WHEEL!!!!! ME GET IN???????

        • Bossicus thee Rossicus

          Honorary professor.

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        I’ll teach a course on Music Appreciation.

        • JWEG

          Not Custodial Arts?

          I kid, really.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I could teach that.

      • Dubs

        South Hampton Institute of the Toilet?

  • Edward/Breegrodamus™

    Good luck with your career prospects, Jason.

    GOOD: It’s been pretty sweet being on here when the stories go live a bit this week ❤

    GOOD / BAD: I work thirty hours over Saturday and Sunday, but then I have five days off. Saturday is my last day of training. Sunday is the real deal.

    UGLY / GOOD: I’m about halfway through Ehrahne’s Douve. It’s rad. Strikes me as something that would interest noiseniks more than metalheads, though, plus it’s eighty one minutes long.

    • Edward/Breegrodamus™

      Douve >>>>>>

  • I’ve watched ‘Blackstar’ and ‘Lazarus’ damned near every day at least once since he passed.

  • GOOD: It’s pay day. Running at night with snow everywhere has been really majestic, especially while listening to the cold atmospheric Bekëth Nexëhmü demo album De Svarta Riterna. Also, I was able to score the following albums this week which I’m very excited about:

    Bekëth Nexëhmü – De Dunkla Herrarna (LP)
    Summum – Benedictus qui venit in nomine Domine – redeamus ad mort Domine (LP)
    Aryan Art ‎– Хармония – Вечност – Вселена (LP)
    Grifteskymfning ‎– Likpsalm (CD)
    Azaxul – Horned Furies (CD)
    Moonblood – The Winter Falls Over The Land (LP)
    Satanic Warmaster – Strength & Honour (CD)
    Clandestine Blaze – Fist Of The Northern Destroyer (CD)
    Clandestine Blaze – Deliverers Of Faith (CD)
    Armatus – Blutvolk (7″)
    Luciation – Manifestation In Unholy Blackness (LP)

    BAD: Spent too much again. I’ll die before I retire anyways.

    UGLY: The towels on and around my stationary bike. I really need to wash them; my upstairs living area is starting to smell like the voids asshole. Maybe I’ll just embrace the filth.

    • Edward/Breegrodamus™

      I like Clandestine Blaze, listened to that a bit lately myself.

      • Awesome! Just some really mean black metal without any bullshit added.

    • Dubs

      Summum >

      • Glad you liked that. Looking forward to hearing that on wax.

      • Edward/Breegrodamus™

        Saw you guys talking about that yesterday…

    • Stanley

      Can we get a regular weekly update of your purchases? I guess I could just read Ultimate Satan.

      • This weekend I’ll be on that again. The week days are rough for me.

        • Stanley

          This is what the lovely mailman brought me this week.

          Totale Vernichtung – Ritualmordlegenden (CD)
          Totale Vernichtung – Die pechschwarze Artillerie (LP)
          Mgla – Exercises in Futility (LP)
          Abbath – Abbath (LP)

          • I really need to give that Totale Vernichtung material a try.

          • RJA

            My Mgla came this week also. Also,
            Drowning the Light – From the Abyss 2LP
            On order: The first two Bestial Warlust records which I’m am very pumped about – been wanting those for a long time.

          • Stanley

            Nice. And thank you, by the way. Look out for tomorrows ROTW.

          • ME GORAK, RIFF OV WEEK CHAMP

            MAIL MAN ROCKS!!!!!!!

    • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

      Im ov the opinion i will never be able to retire. Welcome to the shitty club

      • There are some alright people in the “Shitty Club”. Cheers.

      • Edward/Breegrodamus™

        I expect to work until I am 70.

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm

      My pissgrave shirt got ‘shipped’ today. I’m not sure whether they meant dispatched or out for delivery or what, but Pissgrave m/

    • Bossicus thee Rossicus

      That run does sound fantastic and beautiful, in the most grim and metal way.

  • Hope you find that dream combo of a job you enjoy that’s in your field and pay that allows you to live comfortably.

    GOOD: This is our last day at this shitty old office building my company has been in since I started here almost 2 years ago. We’re moving to a much bigger, nicer building that’s a bit closer to my house, so I’m really stoked for that.

    BAD: I’ve been tasked with redesigning our website (for the second time) and I have very little time to do it. On top of that, I keep getting stupid and annoying requests from random people throughout the company that have been sidetracking me from getting this done.

    UGLY: I just pooped for the first time in like 3 days. Was not fun.

    • Dang, this week was a breeze for me at work. Super slow. I understand those annoying requests from random people throughout the company though. I get a lot of those it seems when I actually have something to work on. Good luck duder.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Good: My wrestling is tonight, Old Navy finally gave me some hours

    Bad: Red Lobster didn’t hire me

    Ugly: My non existent love life.

    • Arhys

      That ugly hits close.

    • Waynecro

      A nonexistent love life is better than watching the woman you love get real chummy with another dude. Hang in there.

      • ME GORAK, RIFF OV WEEK CHAMP

        GORAK SMASH OTHER DOOD!!!!!!!!!!!

        • Waynecro

          Thanks! Now I can stop resisting the urge to do it myself.

          • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

            Just remember who the alpha is here, bro

          • Waynecro

            Thanks, dude. I do derive some comfort from knowing that I could stomp the guy into the ground with very little effort.

          • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

            Im cooking some chicken breasts n carrots potatoes and onions, marinated in molasses and barbeque sauce 😉

          • Waynecro

            Fucking awesome! Now that I’m lifting six nights a week, I can eat white rice again. I think I’ve found a proper amount that keeps me from passing out midworkout without messing up my blood-sugar levels.

          • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

            Im p sure id be a failure of a diabetic

          • Waynecro

            It’s a drag to be diabetic when you want to get swole. You can’t eat the carbs you need without taking a ton of insulin, which just makes you get fat. It takes tons of experimenting to find a workable balance. Usually, I consume fewer than 30 grams of carbs per day, but that isn’t enough for cardio/lifting six days in a row.

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        I will.

        • Waynecro

          If you assume everyone’s an enemy, you’ll never be surprised. Paranoid, yes, but not surprised.

  • JWEG

    Good: DEATHGASM. Full stop.

    Bad: …hair day.

    Ugly: either of the above. One in a good way, though.

    Changes:
    https://twitter.com/Handshake_Inc/status/690642323173216256

    • Edward/Breegrodamus™

      Handshake, Inc. that beautiful bastard.

    • how would you rate Deathgasm?

      • 8/8 gr8 movie m8.

        Srs, loved it.

      • JWEG

        Very highly.

        Two thumbs, and an extra appendage (hacked off a zombified neighbor) up.

  • I watched 5 minutes of news from CNN yesterday and got a nice chuckle out of the fact that the mainstream media still thinks Schillary is the preordained Democratic nominee and ignores Sanders rise. Enough about politics because the majority of those people are scum…..

    Bad: Hate my job, please fire me!
    Good or bad: Fell asleep at 9PM every night this week

    • Jason Kolkey

      Yeah, that’s been getting on my nerves too. I don’t think they’re necessarily wrong that Clinton will come out on top, but the smug certainty seems unwarranted.

      • I just remember hearing the same smug shit from know-it-alls in 2008.

      • I see the same BS in the NY Times. I usually enjoy Paul Krugman’s articles and the one he wrote today was him trying to make case for her. It’ll be nice if he gets in but he’ll still got the Legislative branch to deal which currently boasts about 300 people that should be shown the door.

    • “But…but The US will never elect a black man with a MOOOSLIM sounding name, and John McCain is soooo popular! That’s why we need to support Hillaryeeee!”

      • I keep an eye things but I generally do not watch TV news since it’s basically just a propaganda mouth piece for the Two Party system that masquarades as a Democracy.

        • Oh no, I was hearing this from actual people. I don’t watch TV news either especially during an election year.

          • I feel like a huge chunk of people are going to be outraged if that’s not the way things play out. Momentum is clearly shifting in Sanders’ favor.

          • If a “moderate” repub like McCain couldn’t beat a black man with a “Muslim” sounding name, I don’t see a freak like Trump being able to smear Sanders by calling him a “commie”. This isn’t the 60s or the Reagan 80s. The only people who care about so-called commies are people who wouldn’t vote Democrat anyways.

        • JWEG

          Although casually optimistic given our new PM’s goals WRT environment, education & technology infrastructure – and pot legalization – our last election did technically bring us closer than it has been in a few decades to a de facto 2-party system that has held our government to a (slightly less pervasive) status quo since our confederation.

          And our media has got a bit wrapped up in cheerleading for it, though not as overtly.

          • i’m eager to see what gets done in Canada with the new PM. One thing I’ve learned is that progress is slow and that it could be a few years down the road before you see some improvement.

  • CyberneticOrganism

    GOOD: Knocking out a ton of work. New pedal for the pedalboard.

    BAD: Dealing with returns for amazon, ebay, etc. Kill me.

    UGLY: The piece of shit camera I picked up that can go straight to hell.

    • PEDALS FOR THE PEDAL GOD.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Always more. The Pedal God cannot be sated.

      • Dagon

        Haven’t seen that dude in a while.

    • This reference may go over some heads.

      http://i.imgur.com/d5xyjwy.jpg

    • Bossicus thee Rossicus

      What pedal? Do tell.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        MXR bass compressor. Hated it at first, now love it. Subtle but very effective.

        • Bossicus thee Rossicus

          Oooh, nice. Ever since trying out a compressor with my bass, i can’t not use it. Just clears it up real nice and gives it a punch.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Same. Can’t believe I went for this long without one. I used to use it all the time but just kinda ignored it for a couple years.

  • EsusMoose

    Good: Friday, semester started so I’m going from a lot of hard courses to only a few. Hopefully means less stress. Tonight is for drinking and vidya. Got a gift box from the company I’ll be working for after I graduate. Got a lot of music this past week.

    Bad: Walked a lot this last week, I have poor knee and ankle health so they’re not in the best shape, so it’ll be nice to rest for the weekend. As I am cutting my courses down, I’m dropping what could be very interesting classes but difficulty and my existing schedule means they had to go.

    Ugly: Ate a lot of chinese food for lunch and dying.

    Have a good weekend and all hope that the patriots lose due to a giant ball of magma wiping their team out.

  • Scrimm

    Good: Training for management at work. No guarantees yet but things are miving in the right direction. Should be getting back in the studio in a couple weeks to finally finish up this damn recording, and moving straight into the new material.

    Bad: Fucking awesome Tall Man memorial busts, only available for a short time and then they are destroying the mold, and of course I’m broke.

    Ugly: work 8 days in a row.

    • Dubs

      How long till those busts are gone?

      • Scrimm

        No idea, they didn’t really say. doesn’t seem like it’s very long though. Sucks, but I have some pretty cool memorabilia already, and at least I got to spend a short time with him.His passing just hit me so much harder than I expected

    • destroying the mold? noooooooo. i understand limited edition, but no need for them to be dramatic about it, ya know?

      very excited to hear the new music!!

      • Scrimm

        Yeah it is silly.

    • Bossicus thee Rossicus

      8 days straight sucks, I have to do 12 days sometimes. Thats 8 “mondays”

      Good luck on the new work!

    • Stockhausen

      What a champ!

    • megachiles

      I almost shouted “Go little buddy!” on the toilet at work.

  • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

    BAD: Ever wanted to shoot yourself in the leg because it seems more readonable than going through the bullshit that awaits you nect week at work? I do.
    UGLY: I haven’t exacrly taken care of my “condition”.
    <BEAUTIFUL started running again. Haven’t lost weight yet, nor gotten to a better shape, but maybe/perhaps soon-ish.

    • I echo the sentiments on your Bad. It’s been that kind of week and next week isn’t looking any brighter either.

      • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

        Oh man me too. Next week is going to be even worse.

  • Good: first month married has been great. family, friends. Wife approved Blind Guardian, Helloween, Iron Maiden and Judas Priest. We could buy some regulated food and we have a tiny box full of products that are difficult to buy. Merol. #MetalBandcampGiftClub (thanks to all, again). Arch Enemy old-lineup reunion. Will DM today the first D&D game of my wife. I did good the first two classes of this semester.

    Bad: stomach issues, Venezuela, economy, politricks. This country is on the verge of destruction, the National Assembly is counter-acting nearly every action of the goverment and it’s just giving stagnation to the country. Oil barril prices this week were the lower in this decade.

    Ugly: morning farts.Constipation. The garbage disposal and the transport system of Maracaibo. Maracaibo’s people. Maracaibo.

    • tigeraid

      Come to Canada, bruh. Lotsa work and a dreamy Prime Minister who is not Hugo Chavez.

    • Bossicus thee Rossicus

      My wife likes Blind Guardian too! She went with me to the concert and everything.

    • Stockhausen

      Glad to hear you’re enjoying the married life! Come to Oklahoma, it’s at least a little better.

  • Stockhausen

    Dude, academia is rough. I did a year as an adjunct music professor, and my pay was straight up laughable. My dream job at one point was to be a university percussion director, but those chances are probably dwindling with the times.

    • Jason Kolkey

      Yeah, I know some people who have struggled on as adjuncts for years, and I think they must have the forbearance of the Buddha. It seems like some change might be slowly coming around, but we’ll see.

    • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

      On a whole other note, I keep thinking that’s Ernst Horn (Deine Lakeien) on your avatar.

  • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

    Good: at about a foot of snowfall the last day. Its still snowing. Im warm, inside, and playing video games. records on the way. Another bonus this month.

    Bad: im out of beer.

    Ugly: im out of beer.

    • Edward/Breegrodamus™

      Should have stocked up before that apocalyptic blizzard!

      • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

        Im pretty sure, in each of our cases, we consumed more than we thought before the storm

        Mourn for us, brothers

    • Bad: I’m out of buds

      Ugly: I’M OUT OF BUDS.

      • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

        I mean . . . Should I downvote?

        • I’ve put in the order for more. It’s just a matter of either tonight or tomorrow.

          • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

            Has the snow begun up there?

          • Nope, we’re not really supposed to get that much here, maybe a few inches at best.

          • Do you at least have any brownies or anything already made?

          • Nah, just lots of resin.

          • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

            That will suffice. Chin up.

          • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

            I might have to hike it to the grocery store for beer and food tomorrow, unless the roads are straight by then

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            I walked four miles roundtrip for beer during a snowstorm once. Totally worth it.

          • more beer

            That is dedication to beer!

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            Hail the beer!

          • more beer

            Hail!

          • HAIL!

            *pounds an all natural, Natural Light*
            *regrets nothing*

          • *demands my pregnant wife get me another beer immediately*
            *jkjk*
            *gets my own*

          • more beer

            Hahaha! You better get used to getting your own beers now.

          • psure I was getting beers for my parents at the ripe age of as-soon-as-i-was-walking lolololol

          • more beer

            You do know they don’t just pop out and walk. Don’t you?

          • Really?

            #sciencefacts

          • more beer

            I’m just saying there is going to be a little bit of time before you can put the kid to work.

          • 🙁 Alas, I realize now the pitfall to my plan.

          • more beer

            The dog could be an option.

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            Just about to add “that’s why you have a kid now” But, alas, you’ve already got that plan.

          • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

            And keep these wise words in mind!

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmI8zr1urC0

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            Work was shutdown, my vehicle was in the shop, i had nothing to do but watch movies and listen to music. But I had no beer. You bet your ass I’m walking to get beer!

            The snow wasn’t really that bad either.

          • more beer

            I trudged thru the snow plenty of times to get beer when I lived in New York.

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            more beer, you’re my hero.

          • more-beer-o-was-his-name-o

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            B-E-E-R-O
            B-E-E-R-O
            B-E-E-R-O

          • more beer

            SMH!

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            It’s your new theme song. You’re stuck with it.

          • more beer

            SMH

          • XD (4x)

          • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

            B-I-N-G-E, B-I-N-G-E, and More Beer was his name o.

          • DID YOU GET SWOLE AS FUCK CARRYING 2 30 packs 2 FUCKIN MILES, BRO??

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            I BUY GOOD BEER, BRO, SO I COULDNT AFFORD 2 30 PACKS, wait, shit, screwed that up…

            GAINS BRAH!

          • MAD GRAINS == MAD GAINS.

            #hopsciencefacts

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            That’s my kind of science.

            Hail!

          • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero
          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            I wake up stupid early for work sooooooooooo…

            http://blog.jonolan.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/coffee-then-beer.png

          • more beer

            I smoke pot during those not allowed to drink hours.

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            Haha, that works too i suppose.

          • more beer

            It works well!

          • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

            For now, I’m not having to worry about a bedtime, which is great since I tend to wake up 2-3 times a night. Sometimes more.

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            Damn, thats no fun.

          • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

            Yeah, but it’s something I’ve gotten used to, since it’s been that way since I was a kid. Thankfully got to catch up on sleep today.

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            Damn.
            Right on for today though.

          • The only disadvantage of burning fire wood for heat (at our house), is that I have to get up 3 times a night to put wood on. So I feel ya, bud.

          • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

            No central heating, I’m guessing?

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            It’s a hell of a lot cheaper to heat your home with a fireplace in the winter.

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            Hail, GL, bringer of fire!

          • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

            I walked 5 miles to and from the liquor store back home one night, all in -35 degree weather (with the wind chill).

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            Hail!

      • more beer

        That sucks. This is what I’m doing tonight. Some Banana Kush and Candy kush wax.

    • Bossicus thee Rossicus

      Out of beer? Holy shit, call 911!

    • YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THAT SHIT COMING.

      #wth

  • Stockhausen

    The wife and I are having a kid on Monday (inducing/possible C-section). This is my last free weekend until I step into the sleepless, feces-encrusted abyss. That falls all over the good/bad/ugly spectrum.

    • Dubs

      I can’t wait to perform the Toilet Baby Dedication.

      • Stockhausen

        Can I sleep while you handle him for it?

        • Dubs

          You bet.

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      Your offspring will share the same birthday as mine if all comes to fruition. Best of luck.

      • Edward/Breegrodamus™

        That’s some Illuminati shit if I’ve ever heard it.

      • Stockhausen

        Woo! Every year I’ll celebrate your son’s birthday and tell mine to not be so selfish.

        • Ted Nü-Djent ™

          Hahahaha

        • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

          Can’t forget to include something about starving children in China, you know, to really hammer in the guilt and powerlessness.

      • Dagon

        In all honesty I would postpone it. Tocolytics may prevent The Omen from fulfilling.

    • EsusMoose

      Congrats, and have fun staring into the darkness that seems to be parenthood

      • Stockhausen

        The darkness will consume me. I will become the abyss, and look back at myself.

    • Ha! Diaper changing is the least of your worries. Once the baby starts getting around is when you’ll have your hands full. Seriously congrats and hope your wife has a smooth delivery along with a healthy baby. Hit me up if you need advice. I have double the spawn to contend with.

      • Stockhausen

        Based on some stories I’ve heard, I’m especially worried about where the poop will get when he’s mobile. On walls, clothes, overflowing onto floors, etc.

        • Your just deserts for writing for a blog called The Toilet.

          • Stockhausen

            I cannot argue with this.

        • Thus far we have been able to contain the poop to diapers, but there’s still plenty of time for something like that to happen.

    • Feces-encrusted abyss.

      http://i.giphy.com/4A49DBPhSYRTW.gif

      • Salvador Dalí Lama

        Feces-Encrusted Abyss is my favorite pornogrind album.

    • RJA

      Hopefully, the C-section goes well – if she has one. My wife had one with our first kid and she was so out of it afterwards I was immediately on full time Dad duty – it was rough!

      • Stockhausen

        Yeesh. I hope it goes well too, I already told her that I’ll take once he’s 18, but she’s got it up to that point.

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      Is it going to be named Jamie Duggan Stockhauser or James Duggan Stockhausen?

      • Stockhausen

        Edward Trunk Duggan Stockhausen.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          Yay!

    • megachiles

      Good luck, dude!

    • Dagon

      Congratulations. I was gonna bitch about something down there, but I really just want to say I’m very happy for you after seeing this.

      All the best.

      • Stockhausen

        Thank you fish god. Bless us dry beings with your…something or other.

    • *baby arrival intensifies*

      We are at 2cm dilated and counting.

      I hope we make it to Monday!

      Good Luck!

      GL

      • COAL ROLL

        Oh shit GL keep us posted!!!

      • more beer

        Good luck to you George Lynch!

      • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

        Good luck to ya and the Mrs.!

      • Bossicus thee Rossicus

        GL! Best of luck my friend, may your children grow old and wise and may you be there to guide them along the way.

      • Stockhausen

        Good luck dude, let us know when his majesty arrives!

    • COAL ROLL

      Pre-eclampsia?

    • Vladimir Poutine

      But mostly in the really good spectrum, I trust. Congratulations!

      • more beer

        Free show at Black Sky Sunday at 2 pm.

      • Stockhausen

        We’ll see?

    • more beer

      Good luck man.

      • Stockhausen

        I will need your namesake soon more than ever.

        • more beer

          I will not argue that.

    • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

      Congrats and good luck!

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain
    • CyberneticOrganism

      Good luck and godspeed, Stock

    • Bossicus thee Rossicus

      Stockhausen, congratulations good sir. The 25th of January will truly be a great day in your life. The best of luck and good vibes to you and your family.

      • Stockhausen

        Thanks, your bossiness!

    • Eliza

      Good luck with the child! Will it be a boy or a girl?

      • Stockhausen

        Boy. The littlest of Stockhausens.

        • Eliza

          Aww! So what name will you give him?

  • Ted Nü-Djent ™

    Good: It’s my sons 4th birthday on Monday
    Bad: My son is getting older
    Ugly: My scrotum

    • Stanley

      Scrotums <<<<<

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        Not to be confused with Scrimms

        • Scrimm

          Hahaha those are even WORSE.

    • Nice, my son is turning 3 on Sunday.

  • there’s good stuff on the tele, you just have to cut the cable. (like Edward got me hooked on The Leftovers, and KJM & BB got me into Rick and Morty)

    • Edward/Breegrodamus™

      Did you finish The Leftovers? I’m kinda bummed it will only get one more season, since people are idiots.

      • yup, that S2 finale was boss. can’t wait for more!

        • Edward/Breegrodamus™

          Oddly enough, the last two episodes of s2 had less of an impact on me than the previous eight episodes, each of which I thought were fucking killer. The inclusion of “White Lines” throughout e9 was the shit though, lol

          • hey that’s better overusing the piano cover of “Where Is My Mind”!

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            What about the Whiplash-esque percussion in s2 e3?

          • had to look that up… i’ll take it! what about getting intimately familiar with The Ninth Doctor 😉

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            The Ninth Doctor?

          • the priest (Chris Eccleston)

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            He really turned into one of my favorite characters in s2.

    • Jason Kolkey

      I love Rick and Morty and lots of other shows. The news just tends to go on when I’m mostly paying attention to something else or decompressing with a post-work beer. The bright side is it often gives me grist for the lyrics mill.

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      Eric Andre Show is the best show.

      • that is a very good show.
        ♫ Chiquita Banana, Chiquita Banana… Obama! ♫

  • Stanley

    Good: Work has commenced on the mighty battle jacket.

    Bad: Work is temporarily on hold (see ugly) and those patches ain’t going to sew themselves.

    Ugly: My fingers have more pricks than your average You Tube comment section.

    • Metal Devastation for the patches?

      • Stanley

        Yep. I’ve found all the ones that I want from there, but I still have more space and so I need to find another source with some more obscure stuff. Metal Devastation just seems to have the classics and not a lot of newer bands, unless of course new bands just aren’t making patches like they used to. I dunno, young ‘uns these days.

        • It’s difficult unless you go to lots of concerts and festivals.

          • COAL ROLL

            I can make you anything you want. Real embroidery.

        • COAL ROLL

          How about a TovH logo patch?

    • Bossicus thee Rossicus

      Grim.

  • ME GORAK, RIFF OV WEEK CHAMP

    GOOD: EXTRA $$$$, NEW MEGADETH & ABBATH TODAY!!!!!!
    BAD: LOTS TIME SPENT HUNT & GATHER SUCK BIG ONE!!!!!!
    UGLY: NW OHIO!!!!! SMASH & FLUSH!!!!!!!!!

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      I forgot about the new Megadeth. I’ll have to pick it up.

      • ME GORAK, RIFF OV WEEK CHAMP

        ME WILL GET TOMORROW!!!!!!! GORAK CANT WAIT!!!!!!!!

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          It’s the best one since Endgame apparently.

          • ME GORAK, RIFF OV WEEK CHAMP

            ENDGAME ROCK!!!!!!!

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            It’s their best album of theirs from the 2000s.

        • oh boy, i sure hope it tickles your fancy. i listened to it and, well, let’s just say now i have to use another toilet…

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Jimmy plz! I enjoyed it very much!

          • is it better than Super Collider?

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Much better. My first Megadeth album was Super Collider and I disliked it.

          • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

            -.-

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            It fucking sucks just like every Megadeth shit ever.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Tapir plz!

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            You can’t handle the truth!

          • ME GORAK, RIFF OV WEEK CHAMP

            WE NOT SAME PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!

          • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

            Lol

          • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

            …..

      • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

        Same here. Hopefully Kiko ends up going back to Angra soon, which, given Dave’s track record with guitarists, shouldn’t be long from now.

    • Bossicus thee Rossicus

      Let me know how the Abbath treats you.

    • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero
  • RJA

    GOOD: New records, and a guy from a local brewery we’re doing work for dropped off some bourbon barrel stout!
    BAD: Have a tech here to work on our laser (sheet metal shop) and I was at work with him yesterday from 7-7 and looks like about the same hours today 🙁

    • Stanley

      Progress <<<<<

      • RJA

        yea – no shit! Every other machine in the shop one of our guys can work on but of course they all work fine. But, the latest, greatest fancy machine needs a specialist and even he can’t figure the damn thing out.

    • Stockhausen

      Killer! Bourbon barrel stouts rule the world.

      • RJA

        Yea, I have high hopes for it. I honestly may break it out here at work in a little bit – we’ll see how things go!

    • Bossicus thee Rossicus

      BEER!

  • megachiles

    Good luck with academia, dude! Here’s hoping the status quo in higher ed gets shaken up soon.

    Good:
    1. My wife and I are celebrating our anniversary this weekend with cheap japanese food and matching Aladdin Sane tattoos in honor of David Bowie (we’re both huge fans, and are pretty bummed about his passing).

    2. I have a meeting with my potential advisor for grad school this Tuesday, hopefully discussing whether or not I’m being offered a position.

    Bad:
    1. David Bowie and Lemmy are still dead. Fuck.

    2. I think I strained my piriformis squatting last week, and my back and hip are still tight.

    3. My wife is getting happy hour sushi with her coworkers, and they never let significant others tag along. I’m not really mad, I just want some sushi…

    Ugly:
    Our dog discovered that she is capable of eating cat shit from the litterbox. 🙁

    • the matching Bowie tattoos is a great idea!

      • megachiles

        Yeah, definitely feels like a more fun, genuine thing to do versus fancy dinner and traditional gifts or w/e.

    • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

      Squatting is always risky business bro

      • megachiles

        For sure, I gotta chase the gains tho 🙁

        It also has legit helped some imbalances I developed from long distance running.

  • Good: ToiletBandcampWhateverCult. Thanks to the all those who donated to my egregious music addiction. Enablers are the best.

    Bad: I have been sick for 3/4 of January. Some kind of sinus hubbub. Or The Big One.

    Ugly: My throat is so clogged with mucus I gag from dawn to dusk.

  • Dagon

    Best of luck, Jason. I know how you feel about uncertainty, as I’m sort of going through that and possibly facing a big professional decision in the very near future.

    The chips weirdly fall in the right place, or at least they tend to.

  • Waynecro

    Good: TrueNutrition’s new cinnamon-bun-flavor protein powder.
    Bad: My car is producing that oil-burning smell again.
    Ugly: Preparing for tax season.

    • holy flush i need that powder. i’ve been mixing with almond milk to try to gain Dubz’s respect

      • Waynecro

        It’s the best flavor I’ve tried in ages. It almost tastes good.

    • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

      How is that protein? It doesnt taste like reheated trashcan semen?

      • Waynecro

        Actually, it’s pretty good. If I weren’t mixing it with hydrolyzed proteins and blood-derived protein, it would probably taste pretty great. It’s the most pleasant flavor I’ve tried so far.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Flint, Michigan has poisonous water. Guess we know why King 810 exists.

  • COAL ROLL

    Texas BBQ>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Carolina/Memphis/St. Louis bbq

    • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

      Oh no you didnt

      • COAL ROLL

        Beef >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> pork

        • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

          GET OUT

          • COAL ROLL

            I eat vegans

          • Waynecro

            Their soy content is too high.

          • COAL ROLL

            Hahahaha, I just piss that out(my butt)

          • Waynecro

            Well, that’s one way to avoid the phytoestrogens in soy.

          • COAL ROLL

            Whoah that’s a science word

          • Waynecro

            Some might even call it a broscience word.

          • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

            Are you trying to tell me you think beef ribs are better than pig?

          • COAL ROLL

            I think that brisket is better that pulled pork. And better that St. Louis style or baby back ribs. I do think however that Carolina (not sweet) sauce is the best

          • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

            This is acceptable

          • COAL ROLL

            i love all q really, just prefer the beef

          • COAL ROLL

            you must have never had prime beef or real tx q

          • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

            Back atcha

          • COAL ROLL

            Yo bro I saw you talking about snow…where are you? I live in Mother shabubu’s moms closet and need to get outta here and am concerned about the cops following my footprints in the snow

          • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

            I live around asheville nc

          • COAL ROLL

            Holy fuck and you had snow bro???

          • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

            A foot of it.

            Rel weird for this side of the mtn

          • COAL ROLL

            Totes jelly

          • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

            Same here, but not quite a foot just yet. It rarely ever gets to that point over here.

          • more beer

            It’s gonna be 65 degrees here tomorrow.

          • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

            I think the highest it’s supposed to be getting this week is 45 or so.

        • DOWNVOTE

    • Bossicus thee Rossicus

      True story.

    • st. louis got no hand in the BBQ game. we can teach you pizza doe…

  • COAL ROLL

    Good: tax return accepted!

    Bad: international shipping durations for records

    Ugly: my wife after I blow this tax return on wax

  • Salvador Dalí Lama

    Anyone find it odd that Bowie dies, goes out with an esoteric song and mini film called “Blackstar”, and now a 9th planet is discovered in our solar system? The Void works in mysterious ways.

  • Óðinn
  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    Not a tremendous amount to report from the frozengoatsheadverse. At work I have a meeting regarding my ongoing art project on Monday morning and then my manager is going to disseminate my findings to a couple of other company cats. Hopefully I might get to present to them, I like chatting about art chit. As far as its going, our temps auctioneer friend got back to her on the matter of the mystery painting I was talking about here last week, and though they don’t know it they reckon Richard Tennant Cooper is a pretty good bet for the artist. In music news, I got a ticket for Incineration Festival this evening and am currently jamming some Marduk. I only got into them in earnest relatively recently, for a long time I was put off by not being much of a fan of Panzer Division Marduk and thinking the main dude was a major dumbass in an interview I read a few years ago. I really should have gotten into them earlier, they kick ass. And in other stuff, a friend is coming over tomorrow and we’re going to see The Revenant. Should be a pretty swell time.

    Don’t think I really have anything to grumble about, sorry about that.

    • Bossicus thee Rossicus

      Richard Tennant Cooper’s work is really excellent, very dark subject matter, but beautifully executed.

  • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

    The good: pretty chill week as usual.

    The bad: shitty weather and constant temperature shifts, which drives my sinuses up the wall. Thankfully the winters here are tame and short, but then again the city takes it’s sweet fucking time when it comes to clearing the sidewalks and roads.

    The ugly: Boobies and alcohol. Oh, the horror!

    http://cdn.gagbay.com/2013/06/my_hot_bartender-304386.jpg

    http://i2.wp.com/thebreweryusa.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/hot_bartender_1.jpg

  • Bossicus thee Rossicus

    CUTCH REFERENCE IN THE TITLE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

    now that that’s out of the way…

    Good: The new Abbath album. My preorder cane in early so I’ve been jamming it the past few days. It is a solid chunk if heavy metal. My favorite track first listen was Winterbane, but Root of the Mountain is really growing on me.

    Also, Slaegt’s Beautiful and Damned. That EP is killer, the blackened Traditional Metal styling is incredible. If anyone has any recommendations of similar sounding albums or artisits, please share!

    Also, also, good beer, Frank Gorshin, Clutch and Eartha Kitt.

    Bad: not much, keeping it positive.

    Ugly: 8 hour roundtrip weekend drives.

    • i feel like we need more of you around lately

      • Bossicus thee Rossicus

        Yeah, I’ve been slightly absent the past two days. And unfortunately might not have too much of a presence for the next two either.

        • everything gud?

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            Yeah man, no problems here. Just been busy with work and such. And I’m out of town this weekend doing more things.

            BUT, i do have a riff tomorrow, so I’ll be checking in and chatting when i can.

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    “Northern Mexico”.

    • huehue

    • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

      ……..

      • more beer

        Ha you shouldn’t be goofing on anyone’s state. Yours has declared a state of emergency for snow. Hahaha!! I went to Napalm Death last winter in blizzard. The place was packed. State of emergency that is hilarious.

        • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

          It’s actually quite bad outside, especially by VA standards. This would be about like October back in Chicago, though.

          • more beer

            Even still, declaring a state of emergency for snow is getting a little carried away.

          • Steamy Squirt Of Tongue Farts

            From what I can tell, that’s mostly for the Arlington area, right next to DC (which is already hunkered down and under a state of emergency).

          • more beer

            Isn’t that where a lot of our politicians live? We couldn’t ask them to have any accidents in their neighborhood.

          • Steamy Squirt Of Tongue Farts

            Most likely is where they live. It’s a pretty fancy pants area, despite being known mostly for a huge graveyard.

    • Bossicus thee Rossicus

      You watch your mouth, up there on your wicked-cool-wish-i-could-visit-sometime mountain top!

  • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

  • Bossicus thee Rossicus

    Rogue’s Dead Guy Ale? Nay! Rogue’s Dead Guy Whiskey!

    • more beer

      I have heard of this but that is the closest I have been to seeing it.

      • Bossicus thee Rossicus

        It’s not too shabby actually, i was a bit skeptical about it when i picked it up. Kinda sweet and has a scotchy taste to it.
        They also make GIn, didnt pick that up though

        • more beer

          I can’t stand gin. but I will check this out I do like scotch.

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            I’ve been trying out some gins recently, i haven’t decided if i like gin or not yet.
            The malt is what really gives it the scotch flavor profile.
            I also think the bottle is super cool.

          • more beer

            The bottle is a good reason. Since I am always looking to add to my collection. I had a family member who loved gin. It turned her into a mean raging lunatic. So I have just stayed away from that stuff.

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            When you buy it, the bottle has a beer cap on it. And then you can use the flip cap.

            That’s a good reason to stay away. I never drink enough to know my innerself, but i hope I’m still a pretty chill guy deep down.

          • more beer

            I am sure you are.

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            Thanks man, I appreciate it.

          • Steamy Squirt Of Tongue Farts

            One of the reasons I quit that and hard liquor years ago. I’d end up going from warm and bouncy to saying some of the most vile things possible (things which I won’t repeat. They were that fucking bad).

          • Steamy Squirt Of Tongue Farts

            Gin and diet 7up was pretty much my trademark drink years and years ago. Oh, the wacky adventures I had with that shit!

          • more beer

            Do you mean misadventures as gin is involved?

          • Steamy Squirt Of Tongue Farts

            Well, not completely. Falling into a thorn bush while trying to climb a tree and throwing my shoe at a cop car years and years back (while drunk off gin) was a misadventure, but it did give me enough courage to tell my ex-fiance (the one good ex I’ve had) how I felt after our first actual date, which was an adventure. After a while, hard liquor became way too much to handle, especially after 3 years of a fifth a day.

  • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero
    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      I heard about this.

  • J.R.™

    The good: Just build a desktop. Just felt like that time. Pretty happy with it.
    The bad: getting all my stuff installed and configured how I like it is both my favorite part of the process, and the most annoying. at least all my album art transferred over. I hate when that doesnt happen.

    the ugly: It is snowing and it is cold. That is not supposed to happen here.

  • Dave Vincent’s Perm

    I found something interesting in the Mesa Mark I manual. It said that the analog Spring reverb sounded just as good as digital and ‘doesn’t analog at all.’ Pretty funny when you consider people these days marketing digital effects as sounding like analog.