Flush It Friday: A Celebration of Badass Nintendo Characters

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Waste the rest of your work day here.

Yesterday, Dubya alerted me to the existence of a Nintendo character with whom I was previously unfamiliar. Boshi, a cousin of iconic Mario Brothers character Yoshi that is a member of inner city street gang the Bloods, was a minor character in 1996 SNES game Super Mario RPG. Look at him up there. He’s got sunglasses. And a spiked collar. And a rude ‘tude. Boshi is a certified bad ass. 

Wario, first introduced as a nemesis character to Mario in 1992’s Super Mario Land 2 but over the years he’s become a fan favorite. Appearing in tons of games over the years, including his own series, Wario has won over hearts and minds with his trademark bad boys ways and as Nintendo’s first openly gay character.

What list of bad ass Nintendo characters would be complete without the coolest dude in all of Kong country? Funk Kong made his first appearance as friend of the Kong family and proprietor of Funky’s Flights in the original 1994 Donkey Kong Country. Known for his cool shades, tendency to shred waves, and a number of DUI convictions, Funky is without a doubt a bad ass.

Finally, we have Waluigi who is a total bad ass because he does exactly what he wants to do. He’s not even related to his counter part Wario. Don’t believe me? Read up on his backstory:

The floor is yours. Thank you for your continued support of this particular iToilet. We’ll see you tomorrow.

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  • Lacertilian

    Boshi def fucks

  • Sentient Cape

    Waluigi is the ultimate example of the individual shaped by the signifier. Waluigi is a man seen only in mirror images; lost in a hall of mirrors he is a reflection of a reflection of a reflection. You start with Mario – the wholesome all Italian plumbing superman, you reflect him to create Luigi – the same thing but slightly less. You invert Mario to create Wario – Mario turned septic and libertarian – then you reflect the inversion in the reflection: you create a being who can only exist in reference to others. Waluigi is the true nowhere man, without the other characters he reflects, inverts and parodies he has no reason to exist. Waluigi’s identity only comes from what and who he isn’t – without a wider frame of reference he is nothing. He is not his own man. In a world where our identities are shaped by our warped relationships to brands and commerce we are all Waluigi.

    • Lacertilian

      His heart and blood comprised of anti-matter, his respiratory system a wisp of smoke.

  • Dubby Fresh
    • Sentient Cape

      Roy is hard as fuck

      • Dubby Fresh

        harder than diamond in ice storm

    • GrumpDumpus

      THAT TUBE IS A BOOMBOX THAT ONLY PLAYS SPIRITUAL HEALING

  • JWG

    Metal:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-e-C5cUBbg

    Good
    On a related note to the above (how I just got that album): praise the continued existence of Metal Bandcamp Gift Club, and participants.

    Also: I’m back to being a TovH Patr(e)on.

    Bad, But Maybe Not

    I’m just getting past a flu that had me way under the weather for my entire two week break late last Month. On the plus side, I could use about a week of sick leave I had left so I only wasted a week of vacation time. Sick hours don’t transfer year-to-year. Vacation hours should transfer, so I might have an extra week to use up later 2018 (I won’t know for sure until the Department Chair signs off on my leave report for December, which might take a few months).

    Ugly:
    Not this week.

  • Howard Dean

    Oh man, I probably hadn’t played video games in a decade before NYE this year. Got together with some friends and they had an N64 with Mario Kart. I’d forgotten how much fun it was to try to navigate Wario Stadium and Yoshi Valley while hammered drunk. Good times.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5bf0cce542feede98b0714e3d3e55a135be54e964a909eaa373e112c1f25a555.gif

    • Dubby Fresh

      Beerio Kart >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

    • There’s a BYOB arcade near my house with sit-down Mario Kart cabinets. You better believe when I go I’m drinkin’ and drivin’

      • Dubby Fresh

        NASCAR

        • The motorcycle one is fun too because of the fully tactile experience

          • Dubby Fresh

            What was that awful one we had to lie belly down in?

          • Oh god. Some kinda boat game, I think

  • Understated badass:

    https://www.mariowiki.com/images/2/24/LakituSM64.png

    Have to admit, this broh was drunk af in Mario 64, dat camera give me vertigooooo

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY
    • Depechemodeisgangsta

      Oh come on Frank, is too early in the year to give into despair.

  • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

    Samus is mah waifu

  • God
  • Depechemodeisgangsta

    I was lucky enough to get a mini SNES and that game is included “Super Mario RPG” i didn’t even knew that this game even existed until i plug in the mini SNES and is just weird and kind of boring for me, so i never got to see this BOSHI character, but now maybe i will play long enough to see if i can reach him game wise.

    • I never got to play it as a kid but I’ve heard it’s good af. Square (the company that did all the Final Fantasy games) teamed up with Nintendo on it. Just got a wireless controller for my mini SNES so I’m gonna relax on the couch a comfortable distance from the TV and try it out.

      • Lord of Bork

        How much is the wireless doodad? The short cable is killing me

        • Dubby Fresh

          I bought extensions at best buy for ten dolla

        • Got two 8bitdo controllers on amazon for $60

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        Should I buy the SNES Classic? I saw a few of them at Best Buy today and I thought about buying one.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    I really want to play Mario Kart now.

  • JWG

    Wasn’t Blue Yoshi in Super Mario World?

    And why isn’t he called Bloshi?

    Is it because people might wonder why Yoshi isn’t the yellow one (also SMW) instead?

    • Jeremy Riegel

      Bloshi is his porn name.

  • GoatForest
  • Slimylimey

    Good: wonderful wife and amazing daughter (who’s humiliating all the boys at school by correcting them on how much bhp a Lamborghini Aventador really has).

    Bad: I haven’t a fucking clue what anyone is talking about here. What the hell is a Yoshi?

    Ugly: a twenty year friendship ended last week.

    • GrumpDumpus

      WELL CONSIDER ME HUMILIATED BECAUSE I ALSO DON’T KNOW HOW BILATERAL HORSEPOWER A LINGUINI ADVENTURE HAS

      • Slimylimey

        How about a Koenigsegg?

        • GrumpDumpus

          AH YES THE KINDER EGG OF THE BOURGOUIS