Five Metal Bands That SHOULD Be Playing the Inauguration

I’m not going to soften this up for you, the musicians playing at Donald J. Trump’s inauguration are just about as bad as the PEOTUS himself. Just looking at the lineup makes me want to rattle off a whole dictionary of Trump-ian superlatives (SAD! TERRIBLE! LOW ENERGY!). This isn’t even getting to the real issue, which is that the American people elected a functionally illiterate and angry narcissist (not to mention the loser of the popular vote by nearly three million), who is going to lead the free world 140 characters at a time while still earning a profit from his businesses. I’m not going to lie to you, it’s some heavy shit, which is exactly why there should be some METAL bands playing at the inauguration. It’s no secret that the metal world has its fair share of MAGA-shitheads that would kill to perform at the swearing-in of an angry Oompa Loompa, so these are five acts that would be perfect.

Iced Earth

Iced Earth are a no-brainer opening act for Trump’s inaugural circle jerk. Main songwriter/guitarist Jon Schaffer is a fairly well-known conservative. In fact, when I was in high school, I actually spotted him at a New York City Adrenaline Mob concert wearing a confederate flag trucker-hat (I have no proof of this, but I swear it happened.). Schaffer does not appear to be a diehard deplorable, but boy are there some juicy “WTF did he just say?” quotes in that link. Schaffer believes that the PEOTUS is not one of the “puppets of the shadow government,” unlike those who bear the last name “Clinton,” “Bush,” or “Obama,” and is happy that “Goldman Sachs doesn’t own him” (ahem…some reading material for you, Mr. Schaffer). It’s not a stretch of imagination to imagine the band swapping their confederate flag hats for some hideously bright red ones and ripping through a couple numbers to open the show. They’ve already recorded a version of the Star Spangled Banner, so it’s really not even a discussion at this point. Plus, I’m not even the first to suggest this. The totally fine and intelligent folks over at Red State have already informed my stupid, liberal ass that Iced Earth would be perfect.

Five Finger Death Punch

I admittedly have watched this fan-made video three times and still can’t decide whether it is pro- or anti-Trump, but it doesn’t matter. Five Finger Death Punch guitarist Zoltan Bathory has been tweeting in support of Trump for over a year and is a well-known gun-toting shithead patriot. This is the type of band that has a solid fanbase of mouth-breathers that definitely overlaps with The Don’s voter base. I can already imagine the red-hatted members of the crowd shedding a single tear as the band rips through their hit “Wrong Side of Heaven.” (Note: I only make this joke because it’s a bad song, not to mock the band for highlighting the issues facing U.S. war veterans. It is possible to be deeply critical of the military while having a similarly deep respect for those who serve, something that soon-to-be President Dipshit has shown to simply not care about). This is a good way to get the crowd a little more revved-up. Now they can start slamming Bud Lights and grabbing some you-know-what so we can get the real party started

Megadeth

Those two openers out of the way, it’s time for the heavy hitters. Disclaimer: I have no idea what the hell is going on in that video, but it’s not the only weird Fox cable interview that Mustaine has done in response to the recent Grammy nomination. Crazy Uncle Dave has been trying to roll back his previous birther comments from the Obama years, but we all know he said it and that Donnie was right there with him. Dave is, similar to Don, a proud American who can just say whatever he wants and then change his mind and say he never said it, with no need for any of those stupid liberal “facts” or “transcripts.” Megadeth would be a killer choice to kick things up a notch on Capitol Hill, if not for any other reason than it might lead to some Trump voters injuring themselves with whiplash, not being able to treat it due to losing their health insurance, and then not being able to vote four years from now. They’ll close their short set with the classic, “Killing is My Business…And Business is Good…Really, Really Terrific…So So Good, Unlike That Sad, Terrible Business We Saw Over the Last Eight Years…Really This One Is Going To Be Big League, Let Me Tell You”

Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent, who at this point seems to act more like a character from One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest than a rock musician, basically worships Trump the same way Trump himself worships the showers that one can only find in luxurious Russian hotels. I’m pretty sure I lost some brain cells just watching snippets of that video. In all honesty, Nugent not performing at the inauguration is a travesty. If this man isn’t up there ripping through hits like “Cat Scratch Fever” and “Wango Tango,” all while firing shots from his hunting rifle at his desired targets, then this whole event is a bigger sham than fake news. Also, and not unlike the PEOTUS, Nugent speaks only in hyperbole and is quite fond of going on racist and violent tirades, only to then say it never happened. I’m shocked at his absence, not only on the inauguration stage, but in the administration as well. Never fear, I’m sure the nod is coming soon. Nugent was probably just second on the list for NEA chairmen, right after Rocky.

Pantera

Regardless of how they manage to pull it off, Pantera has to be the inauguration day finale. They can play with any other guitarist, I’m certain that Zakk Wylde, Pepper Keenan, Jimmy Bower or someone can play the riffs for “Cowboys From Hell” and whatever the hell else it is that the potentially inebriated and whiplashed crowd will want to hear at this point. They can just play Skynyrd covers or something; I’m sure it’ll be fine. Honestly, resurrecting Dimebag from the dead would be less of a miracle than Drumpf getting through the next four to eight years without violating the constitution. I don’t want to slander his name, and may he Rest in Peace, but I have a feeling there’s enough evidence that Dime would be cool with performing. We all know where Phil “I’m not a racist, I just yelled White Power that ONE TIME” Anselmo stands, so I’m sure he and the PEOTUS would be happy to trade some of their jokes about bad hombres or something.

Worst comes to worst, I think the first four bands can get the crowd hammered enough that they’ll be screaming “GETCHAPULL” at whoever plays last, and we can probably get Hellyeah to pretend to be Pantera. Vinnie Paul might be more enthusiastic than Anselmo, so it just might have to do. If I have to tweet this article to Don himself 140 characters at a time (or one of the other shitheads he listens to) to make this happen, then so be it. Otherwise, if you need me, I’ll be over here getting absolutely hammered. Yep.


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Written by:

Published on: January 19, 2017

Filled Under: Lists, Opinion

Views: 2279

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  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    Oh rad, a political post!!! Next time we can have a post about who should play, when they name the next pope!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Wardruna, to emphasize that we all need to go back to the pagan religions, which were a million times cooler and involved more bonfires and drinking in the woods

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        I can get the fuck behind that. Worship nature and get drunk.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          *leaves work*

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            *in a hurry, finds beer and the nearest forest, gets blackout drunk and rapes some leaves*

          • CyberneticOrganism

            *brings 12 expensive IPAs to woods*
            *drops 3*
            *worships tree stump*
            *slams beer*

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            *hails forest*

          • CyberneticOrganism

            *also hails forest*
            *takes a leak in nearby stream*

        • FrankWhiteKingOfNY
      • Joaquin Stick

        I’m really bored by this “one god” thing. We really do need to add some flashier sidekicks to bring the youth back to religion. Angels are dumb and pointless. We need demi-gods that can actually get shit done.

        • The God Emperor of Mankind

          Heh well, slow down there cuz you think you can make some things work out and then it turns out they backfire a little too extremely/heretically.

          • Joaquin Stick

            Oh shit. I didn’t think you were listening. Sorry sir. (But please consider my criticism).

          • The God Emperor of Mankind

            Whatever just don’t start worshipping those 4 chaos dicks in the Warp. They fuck it up all the time.

          • Old Man Doom

            Or maybe just worship the true four armed emperor (sry bb, I’m a genestealer cultist).

          • The God Emperor of Mankind

            Honestly if you want to be happy in a depressing Universe, be an Ork.

          • Old Man Doom

            Tru Dat

        • GoatForest

          Like Alucard!

      • Black Smallbeard

        ill second this but choose a better pagan band

        • Howard Dean

          Nokturnal Mortum, Walknut, Dub Buk, Obtest, Kroda, Темнозорь?

          • Black Smallbeard

            Ive recently been on a BIG early Nokturnal Mortum binge. I like Dub Buk and Kroda. Not real familiar with Obtest or russian word

          • Howard Dean

            Obtest and Russian word are both solid. Obtest is similar to Dub Buk.

            I really dig Lunar Poetry. A truly amazing demo. Nokturnal Mortum are baller.

          • Black Smallbeard

            recently pulled Twilightfall off discogs because i wasnt collecting a whole lot in 2015 when they pressed it.

            Lunar Poetry, Goat Horns, and Nechrist are being pressed on vinyl by Osmose this year. if youre interested.

            ill check out those other ones tonight buddy

    • Sounds like you need a safe space

    • Black Smallbeard

      Uhhhhh i cant think of any good catholic bands

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Gorgoroth?

      • Howard Dean

        Reverorum ib Malacht is a pretty cool band. They converted to Catholicism after many years as Satanists. They even have an album titled “De Mysteriis Dom Christi.”

        • more beer

          Blasphemy!

        • Space Monster W.

          Ha, I was actually thinking of them too. Pretty spooky stuff!

        • Black Smallbeard

          welp, cant listen to traitorous garbage now, can we?

          • Howard Dean

            I’m enough of a contrarian that I almost want to adopt Catholicism or Eastern Orthodoxy just as the U.S. embraces secularism/atheism. Plus it’s good reading.

          • Black Smallbeard

            actually attended a russian orthodox funeral last year when my buddys grandma died. shit sounded straight up EVIL.

            plus you could just pretend and listen to Batushka, then tell people youre praying

          • Howard Dean

            Yeah, I actually really dig the aesthetics and atmosphere of the Orthodox/Catholic church. It’s some pretty eerie shit when they go heavy on the rituals and the brimstone talk.

          • Black Smallbeard

            is this like how some of the good NS bands are going fake hindu whatever now?

            im so contrarian that im contrary to your contrarianism . . . SATAN all the way!!!! #OS #OriginalSatanism

          • Óðinn

            The Vatican is super-gay, quite literally. Most of the dudes who become priests are self-loathing homosexuals.

          • Óðinn

            Howard Dean: Listens to Metal music. Becomes Catholic.

    • ≠ Voidϟϟcape Tyree ≠
      • You have SS runes in your screen name.

        • ≠ Voidϟϟcape Tyree ≠
          • Gross

          • ≠ Voidϟϟcape Tyree ≠

            Not shocked.

          • You were a lot more pleasant when you weren’t super into nazi bullshit.

          • Black Smallbeard

            i find tyree to be quite friendly

          • You down with nazis too?

          • Black Smallbeard

            i dont personally identify as a nazi

          • That’s good.

          • Óðinn

            I’m glad to hear that Blackbeard is not down with nazis.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Wow, way to take a giant fucking leap.

          • Fuck you.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain
          • Black Smallbeard

            those are small steps for a liberal KSoFM

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Oops. All this bitching and moaning about bullshit has me all confused. Maybe I DO NEED A SAFE SPACE! I’m so scared and filling my pants full of poo.

          • Black Smallbeard

            twist: your safe space filled in with poo from floor to ceiling. its a world full of shit

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            I like shit.

          • Óðinn

            Donald likes his shit from Russian prostitutes. According to Putin, they have the best prostitutes in the world.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Grabbing that Russian snatch.

          • Óðinn

            You were a liberal, like six months ago.

          • Black Smallbeard

            i liked bernie sanders as a candidate.

          • Óðinn

            Me too. Too bad he didn’t get the nomination.

          • Black Smallbeard

            And if you knew me personally that definitely alone does not make me a liberal and didn’t

          • Óðinn

            Fair enough. You’re not a liberal.

          • Óðinn

            Still like Sanders?

          • Black Smallbeard

            I think Sanders sold out and democrats reaped the rewards of assfucking themselves. My ideaology has taken a sharp enough turn that I dont have the same support for him i used to.

            in reality, i wanted a president that was willing to do college loan reform. Joe Biden, scumbag that he is, made sure we couldnt declare bankruptcy on student loans.

            its really one of the big “liberal” ideals i can get behind (even though a democrat enacted such a law)

          • Óðinn

            Student loan reform would be good for so many Americans.

          • Black Smallbeard

            indeed. college was probably the biggest mistake ive ever made, and the modern push to force kids into four year schools is a travesty

          • Óðinn

            What did you study?

            I love education.

          • Black Smallbeard

            i have an english degree (yes, i know you cant tell from how i type on disqus).

            should have realized that americans werent gonna be speaking english much longer, anyway

          • Óðinn

            Well, there’s still time to learn Russian. 😉

          • Black Smallbeard

            i took four years of russian 😉

          • Óðinn

            Haha!

          • Óðinn

            To be fair to Randall, Blackbeard defended a nazi that I attacked earlier today. Not that much of a leap, but I’ll take him at his word that he does not identify as a nazi.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Fair to Randall? Does not compute.

          • Óðinn

            Haha!

          • ≠ Voidϟϟcape Tyree ≠

            Sorry, that my views make me unpleasant to you.

          • Goodnight white pride.

          • Black Smallbeard

            arent you white?

          • wut

          • Black Smallbeard

            wut?

          • in the butt

          • Backed.

          • Fronted.

          • Leif Bearikson

            Side to side

          • IT’S ELECTRIC!
            (Kill me.)

          • Óðinn

            I saw this BBC doc recently. There’s not a lot of information that I didn’t already know, but it’s interesting nonetheless. Interesting history of skinhead culture.

            https://youtu.be/6xmNXCRnLQo

          • Óðinn
          • Freedom Jew

            ………

          • Óðinn
      • The God Emperor of Mankind

        Oooooh boy y’all really done it now.

  • CyberneticOrganism

    Seventy Gallons Of Man-Spunk Coating Stage Close Inaugural Concert, FFDP To Blame

  • Akerskronks ov Steele

    I think GWAR should go and play “The Morality Squad”

    • atchdav

      They could follow that with “America Must Be Destroyed” and close their set with “Pussy Planet”

  • Space Monster W.

    If 3 Doors Down plays a 40-minute, free jazz odyssey cover of Freebird, I might watch.

    • Howard Dean

      If I go crazy then would you still fly, Freebird?!

      • Space Monster W.

        I’m as free as Superman, now, and this Kryptonian you can never change.

  • And then there the anti-inauguration, where Prophets of Rage will play “No Sleep Til Cleveland,” which is just “No Sleep Til Brooklyn” (they still say Brooklyn in the chorus) with the lyrics to “Fight the Power” in the verses. Revolutionary rap metal indeed.

  • tigeraid

    I was prepared to have Iced Earth in this list. Then I clicked it. And it still hurt. 🙁

    I will listen to Night of the Stormrider on the way home to forget.

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      FIGHT ON GRAB ON

      • ME GORAK™✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

        TRAVEL!!!!!! TO STYGIAN!!!!!!!

    • RustyShackleford

      I like Iced Earth too but it had to be done lol

      • tigeraid

        I respect your literary integrity.

    • We still have Framing Armageddon pt. 1 with Tim “Dreamboat” “Ripper” Owens, bby. Embrace me.

      • Simon PhoenixKing Rising

        Speaking of Little Rippy, he could’ve sang at the inauguration too.

      • tigeraid

        🙁

      • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

        WHEN THE EAGLE CRIIIIIIIEEEEEEESSSSSS

      • Kevin Nash’s Jackknife

        Jimmy plz! I don’t even like Ripper! He was the weak link of the Trinity tour!

    • Dumpster Lung

      Definitely my favorite Iced Earth.

  • Señor Jefe El Rosa

    Not too keen on the Pantera jokes, myself. Dime is dead, no reason to make fun of him.

    • RustyShackleford

      Yeahhhhh sorry about that. I’m really joking on the band and not him. Respect and all, but a band that used the Confederate flag as liberally as they did gets some flak from me.

      • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

        I hate to speak ill of the dead, but Dimebag, while a great guitarist, never seemed to be the sharpest tool in the shed. I don’t think he ever fully understood the implications of waving around a Confederate flag. I don’t think anyone in that band ever did. Same thing for Lynyrd Skynyrd. They probably never paid much attention in history class and felt that the Confederate flag was just some Southern pride thing

        Great article, by the way, Rusty

        • The God Emperor of Mankind

          Especially if Skynyrd wrote songs like Curtis Loewe

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Skynyrydyd can’t even fucking spell, fuck

          • The God Emperor of Mankind

            Tbh I remembered it was spelled in a fucky way but in my divine laziness I could not be bothered to look up the actual name.

        • Black Smallbeard

          are we demonizing southerners too?

          • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

            No, just saying that the members of Skynyrd and Pantera weren’t the smartest people ever

          • Óðinn

            Backed.

          • Yes.

          • Black Smallbeard

            demon!

          • Óðinn

            Demon? “BYAH!” – Howard Dean

            https://youtu.be/VohN-IemIHs

          • GoatForest

            Well, I am pretty demonic.

          • Óðinn

            Hi, GoatForest. I hope you’re having a great day, my friend.

          • GoatForest

            Yep. You too, man.

          • Óðinn

            I am. Thanks.

          • KyleJMcBride

            confederate flag =/= The South.

          • Black Smallbeard

            it is now

          • Óðinn

            This is true. Racism is a social construct. There’s nothing that makes Southerner’s racist by being born.

          • GoatForest

            Exactly. I am Southern as fuck, and proud of my Louisiana heritage, but I loathe the Confederate flag.
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/32d2d63c72a37334bd64246d3d2ffb4ef43b44db2688313900f5f9f99aa1cc15.jpg

          • Doom Scientist

            Many of the most pronounced lefties I’ve ever met were/are Southerners.

          • GoatForest

            We’ve seen some shit. 🙂

        • Howard Dean

          To be fair to Pantera and especially Skynyrd, those were completely different eras. Obviously a Confederate Flag still stood for the old south and ugly memories of yesteryear back in the 1970’s and ‘1990’s, but public opinion on its use was not nearly as fervent and damning as it is now.

          • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

            True, and in all honesty I never really thought much about them adorning their merch with the confederate flag as well. It wasn’t until recently that I realized how fucked up it actually is

          • Black Smallbeard

            because, like all things, the question was intent. context.

          • Óðinn
        • Óðinn

          This^

        • Dumpster Lung

          I’ve gotta agree with you there. I honestly don’t think that the vast majority of people who had some sort of Confederate flag shirt/hat/bumper sticker/etc really saw it as having nearly the serious meaning/implication that it does.

          I was born and still live in the south, and so I grew up around Confederate flags all over the place. Never really thought anything of it really. It was usually a sign of some degree of redneckishness, but as far as racism, I’d have used the squares/rectangles analogy (not all Confederate flags are owned by racists, but all the racists around here own Confederate flags lol).

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm

      I doubt he cares.

    • Count_Breznak

      Also no reason not to make fun of him.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Yeah, even more because he’s dead. Fuck dead people. Because they’re fucking dead.

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      There’s as many reasons to make fun of him as there were when he was alive.

    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      I’d rather talk about how hard The Great Southern Trendkill rips. Seriously guys, I can understand the hate for a song like “Walk” (which imo is pretty damn mediocre), but Trendkill is m/ as fuck.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTlUjOUwUMg

      • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

        Wholeheartedly agree. Trendkill is >>>>>>>>

      • Señor Jefe El Rosa

        Thanks Frank! 🙂 that is a great album!

      • I’m a Far Beyond Driven guy but this is a close 2nd.

      • Sir Kookaburra The Based

        That’s a fucking terrible album

        • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

          So I was asking myself:
          “Hey, I just said something good about Pantera; now when will the Tapir/Crawfish/Kookaburra show up?”

          • Sir Kookaburra The Based

            I’m sorry I didn’t notice it as soon as you posted it.

  • Black Smallbeard

    could have went much more extreme with this list

  • Joaquin Stick

    This was great Rusty. A+ stickers all around.

    • Óðinn

      Backed.

  • Old Man Doom

    I don’t know about Sabaton’s politics, but their shitty power metal has been co-opted enough times by cringey Dues Vult videos that they might be able to play while the event is getting set up.

  • sopadeloro

    Anal Trump all the way.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Anaal Nathtrumpkh

      • sopadeloro

        Their first music video would be Mike Pence And D.Trump wrestling naked and oiled up.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          It wouldn’t even be planned, they just do that anyway.

  • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

    I have a coworker that looks like Ted Nugent. He is as terrible in his job as Nugent is at making music

    • Óðinn

      This (again)^

  • Special Agent Dale Cooper

    So, I read the Iced Earth article, and it made me busrt into laughter. It read like a transcript from a Paul Joseph Watson or Stefan Molyneux video for fuck sake, especially when he started talking about ‘corporatism’ and how he’s an ‘anarchist’ (he means AnCap, but he doesn’t want to say it because anarcho-capitalism is the dumbest thing in the world).

    • Sir Kookaburra The Based
      • Special Agent Dale Cooper

        AnCom 4 lyfe!!!!!!*

        *even though I’m not actually an AnCom. Even then, it still makes way more sense than corporatocracy… I mean anarcho-capitalism*

    • CyberneticOrganism

      He’s a future sovereign citizen nutjob, refusing to show ID for a speeding ticket

    • GL

      Nice to see you around again, bud!

      • Special Agent Dale Cooper

        Good to be back. The Black Lodge was a hellhole dude, I even met the real Donald Trump, he’s nowhere near as much of an asshole as his doppelganger. Too bad his doppelganger is gonna be the president of the United States, all mine did was kill my ex (I think, I’m waiting until may for the test results to come back) and star in Showgirls, not ruin the entire world.

  • Kyle Reese

    The worst part is that ll you failed abortions are gonna probably knock up some poor girl when you’re all hammered drunk and celebrating your know-nothing political victory. And when she calls to ask you to help fund an abortion, you’re not gonna have the $500 bucks to help out, never mind the cash needed to fuel your car up and drive to a state that actually has legislators that care about a woman’s choice. And then we’ll just have one more little metal head retard mucking up social media with their limited attention span that prevents them from reading anything of length or substance. Then he’ll go to a good Christian school that’s funded by vouchers that go to our Christian Taliban overlords and he’ll learn how to be a trve member of the citizenry, pushing his completely unfounded, lack of integrity beliefs on everyone else while he’s popping hillbilly heroin between classes. But he’ll be dead soon because the average age of mortality is shockingly enough, going down in this country for certain segments. But ya, I didn’t vote cause fuck politics, that shit’s boring and stuff, amirite?

  • Howard Dean

    The brick kilns are a’ firin’ as we speak.

    Is this where you want to be when Jesus comes back?

    http://i.imgur.com/1T2Hrb5.gif

  • ≠ Voidϟϟcape Tyree ≠
  • ≠ Voidϟϟcape Tyree ≠

    Ted Nugent would be perfect for the Inauguration.

  • Don would love all the great, great artists this post. They love Merica, Marboros, NASCAR, and Budweiser. All great companies by the way. This will be the best worst inauguration ever.

  • Óðinn
  • I laughed till I pooped. Rusty, you rule.

  • Waynecro

    If Pantera were playing the inauguration, I’d suddenly give a shit about the inauguration.

    • Kanye playing the inauguration also sounds like a good.

      • Waynecro

        I wouldn’t tune in for Kanye, but I’m sure everyone would have a good time.

        • what about Kanye fronting Pantera?

          • Waynecro

            That would make me very sad.

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            Let us not blaspheme.

          • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

            Kanyetera

      • Óðinn

        I wonder if Kanye is smart enough not to be a human prop for Trump? Maybe. He’d certainly know if hurt his wallet.

        • i’m just envisioning the chaos that would ensue. let’s not forget Kanye’s speech about racism during Katrina. then recently he’s knocking on Trump’s door, having a jolly laugh with him while the paparazzi takes pics. i truly wonder what would happen, maybe he would be all smiles and handshakes, then once he gets the stage deliver some amazing speech that would just leave us all scratching our heads.

          • Óðinn

            He’d lose a lot of fans, that’s for sure.

          • atchdav

            I saw Kanye open for the Rolling Stones in 2007. He stopped his set and lectured the crowd for a good ten minutes about how everybody was trying to keep Kayne down because someone biffed a water bottle at him

          • cooooool, i would love to have been there for that! how was the show otherwise?

          • atchdav

            Aside from his rant I was surprisingly impressed by Kayne. He was backed by an all-female string section which added a lot to his performance.

  • Dental_Damnation

    Is it true he got a Bruce Springsteen cover band to play because The Boss told him to gfy? If so, that’s fucking hilarious

    • They backed out at the last minute because they didn’t want to betray Bruce. Srs.

      • atchdav

        I heard a radio interview with the keyboard player from the cover band. I guess they played the New Jersey presidential inauguration party for Obama’s first and second inauguration and were asked to play again this time around. He said that the band was being unfairly maligned in the media.

  • Óðinn

    R Kelly. He likes pee and Trump likes pee.

    https://cdn.meme.am/instances/53895519.jpg

    • Óðinn

      Nugent, obviously. He’s an idiot, Trump’s an idiot.
      Tim Lambesis. He likes violence against women. Also, he’s in bed (along with Trump) with the Christian right-wing.

    • Dumpster Lung

      Eh, read the excerpt, and sounds like he hired Russian hookers to pee on each other in front of him. Sounds like he wasn’t really involved, and just wanted to see how far the hookers would go for money.

      Total piss-poser move.

      • Óðinn

        Fair comment.

        • Dumpster Lung

          Not that I’m saying it’s a good thing lol. I’d say it’s worse that he’s probably not into it so much as he just wanted to see how far they’d go. I would understand it more if he just genuinely was into it and wanted to get into some kinky shit hahaha.

          All speculation on my part, of course, and it doesn’t really matter anyway. Deviance or not, however anyone feels about that kind of stuff, doesn’t really make him any more or less of an asshole in the parts of his life that DO matter.

  • tigeraid

    I see Mustaine has found out about this article and promptly had the youtube account owner arrested.