Feeling For the Light – Eternal Valley, Sadness

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I dropped out of college my sophomore year. I was failing classes. I didn’t want to go out with friends. I was sleeping about 15 hours a day. “Just come and get me,” I said, interrupting my parents’ protests over the phone. “I’m done.”

My sister was a master’s student at the same university, and agreed to take a weekend off to help me pack my things and take me home. I was in the passenger seat of her car the first time I fully realized what was happening to me. “I want to die,” I told her, and as many times as I’d said those words in jest as a angsty teenager, this was the first time I ever really meant them. I had fallen victim to the family curse. I was 20 years old, and, like my sister, my father, and his father, and his father, the chemicals in my brain had flipped a switch. I would no longer be able to feel like myself again without meds, and even then the artificial nature of my stability would never let me forget that I was broken. Every morning when I open that little opaque orange bottle and swallow one of those small pink pills, I’m reminded of that fact.

I’m not fishing for sympathy. Millions of people suffer from this disease, and we all do what we have to do to survive it. I’ve got my meds and support from my doctor, my friends and my family, and I’m doing ok. I didn’t die, and I don’t plan on dying, at least at the hands of depression. It’s just another piece of my own human experience.

There are lapses. Those times when I get on Bandcamp and buy 100 bucks worth of music, or go to the store and buy an entire new wardrobe (shopping is my favorite coping mechanism). At this point I’ve learned to read these signs and understand when I’m starting to slide. There are times when I let it come and there are times when I fight tooth and nail to hold it off. In every case, there’s one companion that stands with me, win or lose, and that’s music.

And that brings us to the point of this new column. “Feeling for the Light” is an ongoing exploration of what’s new in depressive black metal. In preparing for this column, I’ve done a lot of thinking on what depressive black metal really is. What separates it from atmospheric black metal, post black metal or any of the other myriad subgenres of black metal, which itself has done its fair share of sprawling since its inception in the late 80s? Is Ghost Bath considered depressive black metal? They’ve tagged themselves as such on their Bandcamp page, but songs like “Golden Number” bear a striking, almost copycat resemblance to Deafheaven‘s Sunbather. Even the most casual fan would find it a stretch to refer to Deafheaven as “depressive,” so why would Ghost Bath be seen any differently? Then there’s Violet Cold, whose debut album Desperate Dreams has been described as “feel good” and “fun.” Despite the synth pop overtones and the rapturous heights that album reaches, it’s been universally referred to as depressive black metal by anyone who’s reviewed it or talked about it. It doesn’t seem like the kind of genre tag one should throw around lightly. Better to hedge your bets and call a band “post black metal” or “atmospheric black metal” if you find yourself unsure.

Yet in almost every instance, the average listener can pinpoint a depressive sound with confidence, even if it’s free of most of the conventions that might make music “depressing.” That brings me to an important distinction. Depressive black metal can be, but is by no means required to be depressing. In fact, most depressive black metal actually serves as a rather cathartic experience that reaches into those dark places of the human psyche and pulls out something beautiful. On the other hand, depressive black metal does not aim to make things better. It simply says “I know this pain. Commiserate with me. Escape with me.”  And that is what makes it such a unique and precious genre to those of us who struggle with this relentless disease. People will always try to fix things. They will always offer advice or platitudes, or they’ll give you “tough love.” Very rarely will they simply sit with you and just…be. And that, my friends, is often the thing that brings the most healing and comfort.

Eternal ValleyAscend to the Unknown eternal valley
Neckbrace Records | March 18, 2015

Eternal Valley is the DSBM/atmospheric black metal project of Orszar, yet another stellar black metal artist hailing from the Pacific Northwest. While the vast majority of Cascadian black metal has a decidedly granola bent, Orszar abandons the forests and the mountains of his homeland, choosing instead to travel among the stars into the vacuousness of space. It’s a common fantasy – to escape into that vast, foreign nothingness and leave everything behind. Despite this shared daydream, there are very few depressive black metal artists who choose to explore it, opting instead for the vague poetry of existential malaise. Eternal Valley takes that vagueness and gives it a home or, more accurately, a destination. The theme creates motion. A kinetic spark. Everything about this record genuinely feels like an epic, slow journey through space, gliding in and out of dust particles and moving between galaxies in search of peace or some other life. Heaven, perhaps. The angelic, ethereal synths mimic the sound of a choir while the lo-fi fuzz of the guitar acts as a textural counterweight that keeps that choir front and center without completely overpowering the compositions. Meanwhile, Orszar certainly seems to know his limitations on the sticks, and works very effectively within those limitations, sticking to the basics and throwing in a nice pitter-patter double bass kick when a little extra push is needed. This keeps the album moving along at a steady slow to mid-paced clip. There’s nothing flashy or technically profound going on with this album. Everything here is simply a showcase of excellent songwriting. Orszar wants nothing more than to escape with us into space. And in that, Ascend to the Unknown is an interstellar success.

 

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SadnessThe Rain That Falls Alone…
Independent | March 16, 2015

Remember earlier when I said depressive black metal can be, but is by no means required to be depressing? Well, if it wasn’t obvious from the name, Sadness opts for the former. This 3 song rain storm is a bummer of an album. From the album intros’ echoing piano keys and drowned out screams of some cold and lonely spirit on the far edge of the woods, it’s immediately clear that The Rain that Falls Alone… aims to do nothing but drown the listener in his own sorrow. By the time the second track begins and we finally hear the first notes of a guitar, a debilitating fog has already settled in. Everything sounds like it’s happening in another place, echoing between the trees and disorienting the listener so that it feels like she’s coming closer, but will never find its source. It’s a brilliant aesthetic choice, but one not uncommon to depressive black metal. What sets Sadness apart is the ability to keep a distinct melody at the fore of the music while still maintaining that lo-fi, recorded-through-a-thin-wall sound. It’s a siren’s song in the midst of a violent storm. The cymbals constantly crash and that lonely spirit never stops its abrasive, haunting wail, but the slow melody remains steady, strong and calm. It’s the deceptive voice of reason leading us straight to the crash, wanting us to end it all. And in the moment, we are content only to listen, hoping that the pull doesn’t overwhelm us and drag us to that darkest fate. Sadness beckons us all.

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  • That beginning hits a little close to home.

    • Kevin Nash & Friends

      It hits close to home for me too.

      • Disgustache

        Sometimes I get hit at home.

    • Celtic Frosty

      Maybe next time I should add “trigger warning” to the title

      • @nordlingritesovkarhu:disqus There you go, Beargod. This is the great chance to unleash the tiggerin’!

        • Let’s not turn PTSD into a joke, Link.

          • Uhhh, I read the word in another context and I thought in something completely different. Excuse me, then.

            What’s this especifcal trigger warning?

          • Guacamole Jim

            “For people with PTSD [post traumatic stress disorder], it is very common for their memories to be triggered by sights, sounds, smells or even feelings that they experience. These triggers can bring back memories of the trauma and cause intense emotional and physical reactions, such as raised heart rate, sweating and muscle tension.”

            There was a picture that went up on the FB group that I saw that said “Tiggered” and I think that’s what you’re referencing here. There’s a lot of cultural baggage that’s gone into that picture, so I’ll do my best to explain.

            When a person has PTSD, they can be triggered, as outlined above. It’s something that needs to be confronted and worked through as victims of PTSD. “Because these memories and feelings are unpleasant, you may have the urge to avoid the triggers. Avoiding things that make you uncomfortable is normal and will make you feel better in the short run. But in the long run, this avoidance will make things worse. If the pattern continues, you can make your problems worse. Instead of avoiding triggers, it is probably better to learn how to manage your reactions when they are triggered. Many forms of therapy are effective in treating PTSD. Cognitive behavioral therapy, in particular, can help you learn ways to reduce and manage your reactions to triggers.”

            The term “triggered” then got hijacked by certain hives of internet culture and was used to victimize themselves whenever they came across a concept they found offensive, or that reminded them of an unpleasant memory. It became overused by these communities, and not used at all in the context of true PTSD. The trend began to be noticed, and people, on the internet but outside of these subcultures, began to ridicule their use of the term “triggered” in outrageous situations.

            Now it’s a common joke to crack out the term “triggered” when something clearly is unoffensive. It’s a response to the appropriation of the term, not meant to ridicule those who actually suffer from PTSD. However, Gurp makes a good point (though I think a tad misguided, given your first language is not English) in that we ought not to make light of something as serious as PTSD. That point can be argued, but that’s best left to a different situation.

            I hope this makes some kind of sense. If you want to read up on more PTSD: http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder

          • I understood 5/10.

            Thanks a lot, Guaqui!

          • Who began misusing ‘triggered’ is moot at this point in time. As it is now, ‘triggered’ is a favored buzzword by neoreactionaries used to mock the idea that they would need to be considerate of others. Seen often in the form of “As a trans-[x] [some form of otherkin], I am triggered by this.”

          • Guacamole Jim

            That’s fair enough, but it’s not the point I’m trying to make in any way. All I’m attempting to do is explain, as best I can, the baggage that surrounds that word to Link, whose first language is not English.

          • Indeed, I would just like to put my 2 cents in where I can.

          • Howard Dean
      • Nnnnnnaw. Trigger warnings are for people suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder.

  • Kevin Nash & Friends

    That first paragraph is deep. I also suffer depression and I have no intention of dying because of it. I’m proud you got better.

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    satan is the answer!!

  • Tyree

    Glad to see that Sadness is getting some recognition. We need some more woman making bleak sounding black metal.

    Glad you are well dude, depression is something I’ve really never been through so I really have any frame of reference.

    Great write-up man. Seriously.

    Metal cures all duder!

    • Void Dweller
      • Tyree

        Kip Winger has nice teeth. He must floss and brush after every meal.

        http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2alrteDcH1rq59y6o1_500.jpg

        • Void Dweller

          Oh yeah…

        • J.R.

          The dentist told me that I had beatiful teeth today.
          Which is hilarious because I take shitty care of my teeth.

          Did you know primitive man (and cultures today) chew certain sticks to keep their teeth fresh? Fascinating topic; primitive dental hygiene.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            She/he was clearly hitting on you.

      • Kevin Nash & Friends

        I would never have guessed she was 17. She makes awesome music though.

        • Void Dweller

          She did.

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            I’m enjoying it greatly. What do you mean by she did though? She isn’t dead.

          • Void Dweller

            She made music and is making music.

          • Disgustache

            I quoth the late, great Mitch Hedberg: “I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.”

      • Celtic Frosty

        Toilet confession: I had no idea it was a woman.

        • Tyree

          Her Discography is pretty incredible. She’s definitely very prolific.

          http://www.metal-archives.com/artists/Dami%C3%A1n_Ant%C3%B3n_Ojeda/452384

          • Celtic Frosty

            I usually research bands before I write them up, but with her it was 100% about the music and I didn’t even bother. Plus I was delusional from dehydration while writing most of this. Stomach flu is fucking brutal.

        • Void Dweller

          Toilet confession: what’s a vagina?

          • Tyree

            A deep black void in which you dwell in. You should be a vagina pro bro.

          • Void Dweller

            Next question…..

          • Tyree
          • Void Dweller

            Bitches, man.

          • I think I’m beginning to understand why so few women (if any?) ever post here . . .

          • Void Dweller

            Sausage fest, bro.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            The real reason why women don’t post here is because there are no women on the internet.

          • “Where have all the women gone?”

            -Solefald, again with the questions we’re ALL asking…

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            Except some Finnish tapirs who may or may not be asexual.

          • …and some Total Recall villains who may or may not have genitals after plummeting armless down a Martian elevator shaft…

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            *does not understand the joke because he has not seen Total Recall*

          • Tyree
          • sweetooth0

            that line gets funnier and funnier if you keep rewinding and re-watching it over and over and over and over and over. It bores into your very being

          • *hahahaha Richter you hilarious scoundrel, I hope you never change*

            There. Fixed it.

          • Disgustache

            My deep black void is the basement at my mom’s. Covered the already laughably small windows with NSFW pictures of Scully and Mulder, and the rest is tinfoil.10 screens, 3 computers, and 4TB of hentai.

            Living. The. Dream.

          • you’re asking the wrong folks, lolzordz

          • Void Dweller

            I should have figured. Oh well.

    • Celtic Frosty

      Thanks!

    • Dagon

      My comment would be exactly like yours. Although I have studied depression a bit and have family members who struggle against it, I have no personal way to relate to you.

      Stay strong, Frosty. Great write up as usual. I love your work.

    • Disgustache

      When I look at this girl, i feel funny. Like when we used to climb the rope in gym class.

      My chick went through depression and struggles with side effects still. Bang your head to clear your head man. Chin up!
      http://www.filmencounters.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/metalhead-movie-review-02.png

    • Howard Dean

      You ever heard this track, Tyree? WitTR with female vocals throughout. Real somber shit. Sounds like starving to death.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrbdWEtQ2FY

      • Tyree

        I honestly really never listened to a full WITTR album before. I’ll check this out here.

        • Howard Dean

          This track isn’t particularly representative of WITTR’s sound (this was from the Malevolent Grain EP). Most of their other stuff is more rooted in black metal–atmospheric, but definitely black metal.

          For their more typical sound, check out either of these:

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLfLBbSg_Cc

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPxfIMSTRp4

          • Tyree

            A Looming Resonance was nice. I’ll check out the other videos here in a bit.

          • sweetooth0

            Two Hunters is their best.

          • Howard Dean

            Agreed. Black Cascade is my second favorite, though a lot of people like Diadem of 12 Stars or Celestial Lineage better.

  • That’s a paddlin’

    Haven’t finished this yet, but claiming deafhaven and Ghost Bath sound alike.
    That’s a padllin’

    • To paraphrase Spankthony Monktano: “Ghost Bath sounds like watered down Deafheaven.”

      Factoid.

      • Can someone explain the Anthony Fantano thing? Why would anyone want to watch an album review? Does not compute.

        • Some people prefer to watch movies rather than read the book. I am not among them. I’d rather read a review than watch one, and granted–Anthony is no fun to look at–but he is well-spoken and vaguely entertaining. Really I’m just in it for the Cal Chuchesta sideplot.

          • That’s a paddlin’

            Cal was Cilled, no fun anymore.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            He’ll get Cal back soon! First he has to capitalize on Cal’s death!

          • He still appears regularly via transmissions from the Hell dimension. I enjoy Fantano’s counterfeit grief.

        • Tapir considers him a hero. that help any?

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            I still don’t know or care who he is. Watching album reviews is stupid in my opinion.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            You don’t know who Fantano is, I don’t know who Scott Steiner is. I think we’re even.

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            We’re even.

          • Anthony Fantano?

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            Yes.

          • I don’t like him. The highest rating I’ve seen him give an album is a 5/10.

          • Hubert

            Good

          • Why, does everyone hate him?

          • Hubert

            Good reviewers rarely give out high scores. At least in my opinion.

          • Very true. Like AMG.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            He has given two new albums a 10/10 tho.

          • HOLY SHIT….which albums? Pop albums or albums that would fit my tastes?

          • Tyree
          • Sir Tapir the Based

            Money Store by Death Grips and To Be Kind by Swans.

          • So albums that every other person the in the Pitchfork-o-sphere creamed all over.

          • wait a second. Pitchfork loves those bands. Tapir loves those bands.
            KeanuReevesWhoa.jpg

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            Indeed.

          • That’s a paddlin’

            From what I’ve watched he’s usually a lot better than Pitchfork tho. Usually.

          • I checked out Swans…but Death Grips? Damn…

          • this i can tell you: he’s not #1

          • I’m number 1.

          • AND YOU ARE TRADEMARKED? WEEEELCOME TO DA CLUB

            GL

          • I got the idea from you, actually, so thank you.

          • TRADEMARKING IS ESSENTIAL. IT WARDS OFF POSERS WHO STEAL GOOD IDEAS.

            #trademarkfacts

            GL

          • Yea, like when Ricky stole my hat and claimed he was number 1.

          • Tyree
          • Howard Dean
          • Damn.

          • SMITTY!

            GL

          • GEORGE!
            SW

          • He reminds me of an obnoxious local guy I met that studies philosophy. He’s good, but sometimes is just obnoxious in his hipster rants.

          • Tyree

            I made it through maybe one of his videos. Death solution to life pollution is the holy cure for this fuckface.

          • Well, I made through one video and I don’t want to listen to him anymore.

            He assumes and make too much sentences.

            He was talking about Tribulation last record and how the record needed more interludes or instrumental parts, like if it’s some necessity for the record to get a higher rating from him, also he was complaining too much about the vocals, it really seems that he goes for 4chany-core or something like the newz kidz like to listen.

            I don’t like reviews like that, in which you go full pretentious and point faults, give rating points and tell the artist how it should be a better album. Separating opinion from argument is a delicate issue, and he seems to not doing this well in this video I watched.

          • This is why I don’t like to review music. I prefer to be matter-of-fact with it instead of throwing in my dumb opinions.

          • You can’t separate subjetism, you just have to write with an ethic manual aside 😛

          • Lacertilian

            I tried to do that with Neter. My opinions are often only shared with a handful of people on here anyway so I don’t think it would be a good idea for me to venture down that path anyway.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            I believe he is a regular /mu/tant. I don’t agree with him often, but I do enjoy his videos.

          • He must be. For the first time, this week, I entered /mu/ and I was impressed to see the masses of people citing “experimental”, “indie” and “vaporwave” as his genre of choices. I’m ok with that, but it was repeated a lot, it seems that’s the fashion to be kvlt in that circle, I think.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            Dunno if he likes “vaporwave”. He gave a 4/10 to a popular vaporwave album

          • vaporware sounds like microwave.

            interesting…

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            I’ve never actually listened to vaporwave.

          • DON’T DO IT!

            IT’S LIKE BEING TRAPPED IN A SOULESS VOID OF A JAPANESE AMERICAN WANNABE MALL CENTER!

          • T_T)

          • I have never heard of it honestly….

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            I never listen to genres that are come from /mu/ (for example, ocean grunge).

          • Tapir, help. I’m starting to listen this:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cU8HrO7XuiE

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            Yee, that’s the album he disliked. DON’T LISTEN TO IT

          • I’M AT MINUTE 3! T_T)

            DON’T LIKE THIS!

            ALT+F4

          • KJM

            Scott Steiner is a Master of the English language.
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUJsNB7T43s

          • huh wow!

            GL

          • This is…

          • KJM

            “HE’S FAT!!”

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            *Tapir considers him a God
            FTFY

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            He’s not a god. Scott Steiner is but Fantano seems like a false god.

          • KJM

            Scott Steiner comes from a highly educated university. He has no simpy for us dumbass rednecks.

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            His knowledge of math is beyond us mortals.

          • KJM

            When he talks to us rednecks, he’s gotta dumb himself down.

          • So… why? I’ve never seen anything he’s done, I only know he does video reviews of albums. What is it that makes it worth your time?

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            I dunno, he has big hands?

          • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS
          • Guh. There’s nothing I hate more than hearing someone eat so I’m gonna have to take a hard pass on the Anthony train.

          • Tyree

            There is guy that works in my office that chews gum with his mouth open constantly. Death is the only solution.

          • If I were on the jury I would fight for your innocence.

          • Lacertilian

            I see you and @joethrashnkill:disqus would appreciate my idea that I’ve been running for the last few years, trying to raise awareness of a serious societal issue:
            International Eat With Your Fucking Mouth Closed Day.

          • Dagon

            I watch some of them. He was the one who made me listen to Behemoth’s The Satanist early last year, which in turn made me want to discuss metal again.

            I’ve discovered some good tunes through his channel and being a loner fan of music that no one likes it almost felt like I was having a conversation with someone, lol.

          • Celtic Frosty

            I watch his reviews sometimes just out of curiosity, but he’s whiffed a few times – most notably on the new Sufjan Stevens album – so I take most of his stuff with a grain of salt.

          • Dagon

            He gave the new A$AP Rocky a 5.

            THAT’s a motherfucking paddlin’ right there.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            Nah son, he was right about that.

          • Dagon

            Nah, B. You wrong.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            Did you know that there are more than 10 commandments? The eleventh one goes : “Finnish Tapirs are always right. I am the Lord your God.”

          • Dagon

            Only Lord I know is Lord Pretty Flacko Jodie

            Ok it’s not really like that but that album was definitely more than a 5.

          • Dagon

            Also, I’d watch a TOVH version of this:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbXfvNuZJ3o

          • He does goofy skits before some reviews and keeps it interesting with savvy editing and some graphics and other visuals. At times he is genuinely funny. On the down side, he is a god-awful hipster whose wardrobe is full of intolerable irony.

        • Hubert

          Because he’s a good reviewer.

      • That’s a paddlin’

        Deafhaven is so washed you can sound like watered down version of it. People say so because it’s the only even remotely understandable comparison to many dreamy DSBM/BGaze/Post-Black bands. Doesn’t make it true though.
        (And I did enjoy Deafhaven’s sophomore, inb4 the obligatory you only dislike them ’cause they aren’t kvlt – which drives me mad)

    • Celtic Frosty

      I probably should’ve been a little more clear that I wasn’t talking about all of Ghost Bath. The song “Golden Number” was the one in my head at the time of writing, and that song is a Deafheaven clone, straight up.

      • INDUBITABEARD

        I got the same rage when I made the comparison in my ghost bath article, celtbro

  • Kevin Nash & Friends

    I enjoyed this stuff. It’s not as grim as Shining but it’s close.

  • The second Eternal Valley song is interesting. I love how the guitars accompany the clean choir so well. The choir draws me right in! It is almost chilling 🙂

    GL

    • Damn. The guitarist (s?) have such a great handle on the melodies.

      GL

      • Celtic Frosty

        Eternal Valley is a one-man show. He knows what he’s doing.

  • This is my new favorite column.

  • Maik Beninton
  • Good to see some Sadness (and DSBM in general) love in the toilet. Excited to see more of this column.

    Hail Celtic Frosty, Bringer of Despair!

    • That’s a paddlin’

      Good to see some sadness. *FTFY
      Makes it all the more cozier in here.

  • The W.

    I’ve been trying to figure out how to express my thoughts on this, but I think I’ll have to settle with the fact that I’m certain you aren’t alone in where you’ve been. This will be a good column.

  • INDUBITABEARD

    Finally, something all up in my wheelhouse

  • Maik Beninton

    Man I’m so sick of the side effects of my medicine, I’m taking it because of the dizziness of last week, but now all I’m feeling is the side effects, and depression is one of them,it’s really making me feel less motivated, the other is that I can’t sleep well, every time I go I wake up from a nightmare all sweaty, and I’m sick of my head feeling light, it makes walking hard.
    Well thanks for the music, it really helps.

    • Disgustache

      Serious suggestion here, which is contradictory to my usually upbeat and take-nothing-seriously attitude. My girlfriend suffers a lot of bad migraines and some days she doesn’t want to look at anything because it hurts her eyes. Not like a catholic mom looking at a KISS cover, but like you’re describing. She also has lots of trouble falling asleep, which is made worse by the headaches some nights. She got one of these bad boys, which you throw in the fridge for about 30 minutes and it’s helped her a lot. Just a thought. Hope you feel better, bud.

      • Maik Beninton

        I’ve had migraine, it was because of sleeping problems, I went to school and then I was having headaches and had to go vomit, I think I got out before break time. I spent the rest of the day in bed.

        • Vomiting due to migraines is the frickin worst, man. Hang tough.

          GL

      • When I was younger I took medication to overcome chronic migraines due to a head injury. In addition to ice, I recommend just putting some kind of pressure on ones eyes. Which, as you have shown, kills two birds with one stone!

  • tertius_decimus

    I went through heavy depression to healthy life without any medication. The first thing I did to step aside that road — excluded depressive music from my playlist, mostly funeral doom and the like.

    • You could be right. Lately I’ve been having an averse reaction to some of the music I usually find cathartic. Case in point: I used to turn to Bosse-de-Nage to relieve extreme anxiety; but now listening to All Fours actually makes me feel more anxious than normal . . .

  • Never had depression, never was medicated. I just can say to you that you have my company if you need it and my regards for making this good reviews. I’m #doomloading Eternal Valley.

    Stay Frosty.

    • Disgustache

      Link I love reading your comments, my dude. You remind me of these guys, which is totally awesome.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCRuqpcIIhY

      • Didn’t understood, sorry.

        Not sure if it’s trolling or something else.

        • Disgustache

          Not a troll at all. It probably sounded mean in retrospect. I just like listening to people from other countries speak, because they all speak English so differently. It’s interesting to see how things are phrased and pronounced depending on where you hail from.

          • Oh, ok, I’m cool with that, then.

            I think in spanish first, then translate, that’s why I come with these weird inverted sentences 😛

          • Disgustache

            I like that.

          • CT-12

            Same here dude. I actually really love when foreign metal singers take on English lyrics, there is usually something more unique or menacing about how they deliver ex. Max from Sepultura, Snake from Voivod, etc.

          • Disgustache

            Finally, I don’t feel alone in this world.

  • UPVOTES FOR EVERYONE.

    YEEEEAH FOR FRIDAY.

    GL

  • lost me at deafhaven

  • Lifting until my body doesn’t work and burying myself in sweet, sweet metal >>>>>>>>

    Good write-up and thanks for sharing, Frosty.

  • I got depressed once in my life and resolved never to let myself succumb to it again. Probably not so easy for others who struggle with it on a larger scale. I find that laughter cures all so do it often.

  • great write-up, @celticfrosty:disqus, totes digging Eternal Valley.
    side note: i used to take the pink pills too. those little buggers work! they also fuck with the human body :/

    • Did you have pretty intense withdrawal when coming off the drugs?

      • physically, yes. but they done fixed mah brain good!

        • I got some pretty extreme vertigo coming off them. For me, they worked wonders for a very short period of time. After that, it was back down to the bottom of the hill . . .

      • Celtic Frosty

        I tried to quit them one time in a fit of bootstrappy self-reliance. After a day of “brain zaps” and feeling like I’d been hit by a truck and I caved and started taking them again.

        • I had brain zaps for a long time after tapering off. I’ve heard that they never go away in some people. It scared the shit out of me.

          • Celtic Frosty

            Yeah, it’s scary shit. I’ll probably need these meds for the rest of my life, though, so as long as I don’t stop taking them I’ll be ok. Being physically dependent on a drug sucks, but it’s better than being cripplingly depressed all the time.

          • Celtic Frosty

            Luckily they don’t have any major side effects for me. I tried several other meds before I settled on these, and they all did terrible things to me.

          • That is a #truthfact

          • CT-12

            There is no shame in relying on something that makes you feel balanced man.

    • Scrimm

      Off the meds too.

    • Guacamole Jim

      #1 on Tumblr!

      • We just need to post more memes and feels. That’s all the kids want these days.

  • Malted Hate

    Expertly written article. I can relate.
    Depressive BM is the only subgenre I can’t listen to. I don’t hate it, it’s just too depressing for me. Although some people find it uplifting, it just brings me further down.
    Kudos to you man.

    • Malted Hate

      On another note: I don’t know why I keep ending up on that shitland called Metalsucks and forget that there’s this wonderful toilet with great articles, cool people with good taste and interesting discussions…

      • Lacertilian

        You can break that habit.
        Join the FB group if you find yourself straying.

    • Celtic Frosty

      It’s different for everyone. I find dark/sad things to be cathartic when I’m struggling. Everything else just pisses me off or pushes me further into myself.

      • CT-12

        Hey man, great job on the article dude, also stoked to see Eternal Valley mentioned on the terlet, I love seeing boys from WA get a mention (especially for how many albums the dude has made). Didn’t even know he had a new one out. Also, Ghost Bath’s first album is oodles more depressive sounding to me (still definitely has a “post” sound to it), but thought I’d recommend it if you wanted to give them another go around.

      • Lacertilian

        While I’m still pretty much a BM n00b, I can’t really get into DSBM yet but I hear what you’re saying about positive music.
        That shit makes me really depressed sometimes, not so much anymore but if I was feeling down and heard the stuff they play in shops I would go deeper. Had to avoid places like that for years on end.

  • sweetooth0
    • Tyree

      This is one of my favorite releases by them.

      • sweetooth0

        Yup, the cover of Mutiilation on here is tops, although the lack of vocals keeps it from being totally perfect.

  • sweetooth0
    • sweetooth0

      Fucking love this song, especially the last part after the acoustic break!

  • sweetooth0

    Can totally relate to this article dude. Remember that joke Rorschach brings up in Watchmen about the clown visiting the doctor ‘cuz he’s depressed….relevant.

    No pills for me though, just booze, drugs, horror and metal!

  • L Silv

    This line gives me solance: “I know this pain. Commiserate with me. Escape with me.”
    Major depressive disorder, possibly genetic from both mother and father’s sides, feels like a personality trait to me, the way it’s followed me through life. I dropped out of college last semester despite studying what I love, & only recently discovered how fond I am of the black metal genre. It’s deeply comforting and beautiful and doesn’t have to explain anything. Keep writing my dear!