F*ck It Friday – The Weird Death Edition

Yesterday morning, dissonant death metal titans Artificial Brain posted this perplexing update to Facebook.

ab

This news was both puzzling and a bit exciting for me. On the one hand, I was fascinated to see how one of the best songs from my favorite album of 2014 would be utilized in a police procedural show. On the other hand, I was reticent to actually have my weird interests essentially exposed to what would likely prove to be unreceptive and unappreciative masses. Add in the fact that I do not watch television aside from the X-files and that most depictions of heavy metal on mainstream media is as a deviant and brutish distraction for delinquents and the mentally unsound, I was reasonably hesitant and interested to see how it all played out. Therefore, both my bad news and my good news for this edition of Freaky Friday are that Artificial Brain’s monstrous anthem “Absorbing Black Ignition” appeared last night on Elementary, the modern procedural adaptation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s classic Sherlock Holmes.

So after finally figuring out what channel CBS is on my borrowed digital converter (seriously, I don’t watch TV), I opened a word document and prepared myself for the worst. The positive: Artificial Brain got played on TV. The negative: Artificial Brain got played on TV.

The song actually didn’t make an appearance until about 0:39 into the episode. I’m not going to waste your time recounting the plot of the show. It’s the same boring network television drivel that is safe and easily-consumable and that mildly stimulates the minds of the masses. It isn’t especially captivating but presents just enough intrigue to hook your standard viewer. Interestingly enough, at about 30 minutes into the show, Sherlock (played by an actor I don’t recognize) is interrogated by Ms. Watson (played by Lucy Liu) while he listens to a mixtape of “death metal”. I believe the band in question is in fact Carcass (as pointed out by my esteemed colleague Christian). Watson is predictably derisive, and Sherlock describes the music as someone going over your brain with a sander. The showrunners do offer a bit of a backhanded compliment to the genre by creating a scenario where an expert programmer is a fan of extreme metal, but our preferred form of art is once again associated with deviance because the mixtape with metal tracks (including Goatwhore) is used to implant a virus that triggers an epileptic seizure that kills the programmer.

Artificial Brain finally rear their ugly heads as Sherlock is describing an apocalyptic think tank. Once again, the show offers metal a backhanded compliment as Sherlock describes the band as “stimulating”, but Watson, clearly flummoxed by the bizarre sound, brusquely asks “Artificial Brain?” in a plainly dismissive manner. Quite the interesting dichotomy. Here’s the clip if you have absolutely no interest in actually watching the show.

The use of Artifical Brain on an episode of a mainstream network television show is a study in dissonance. First, the precise scenario in which the song is used is one of contrasts. The writers seem to associate bands like Artificial Brain with intelligence and futurology, but there’s a clear hint of disgust in the typically staid and nonsensical Watson’s tone. Furthermore, the use of metal itself in the episode is a dichotomy between an association with the darker side and the uniformity of a clean and sterile office environment. Finally, and most importantly, the use of an extreme metal song on a decidedly banal program for the common man presents the clear dissonance between extreme art and entertainment.

To the average listener, a radio rock band like Five Finger Death Punch is a study in violence and extremity. Artificial Brain and their ilk, then, represent something wholly alien and unknown, something that the average viewer would have no capacity for interpreting or understanding. This to me is the reason for my consternation. For much of my metal career, I’ve sworn that I would never become an elitist. People are perfectly entitled to enjoy whatever sort of entertainment that they care to indulge, but I do have an issue with the repeated association between heavy metal and social deviance. Metal is not just for the mentally ill or the misanthropes or the social outcasts. It could be for the common man too if the proper framework and context was provided. Just tossing a death metal song into a police procedural is not the proper context, though, and I can’t help but feel like this art is a little too confrontational and external for the audience. There is no chance for an appreciation to be developed, so the viewer is led once again to believe that metal is unfit for human consumption. I find myself in the compromising position of wishing my own little interest in challenging music would stay protected in its underground bubble, a place in which I never thought I would find myself. I feel as though the writers of Sherlock threw my precious pearls before swine.

It would be disingenuous for me to not mention that I don’t think listening to heavy metal makes you intelligent. There are far too many illiterate rednecks, shifty tweakers, and basement dwelling man-children here in my city that prove that it does not. Nor do I think that watching network television makes you unintelligent. We all need some mindless self-indulgence from time to time, and as police procedurals go, Elementary doesn’t appear to be nearly as mind-bogglingly stupid as some episodes of CSI. My point simply is that extreme metal requires a certain learning curve to appreciate that the public simply isn’t going to develop in the short span of a network broadcast.

All of that is to say that in one sense, I’m glad such a terrific band like Artificial Brain gets some exposure and publicity. However, I am also disappointed in the tired and stale manner with which heavy metal is depicted in the mainstream. If the extreme and the commonplace are to meet, I would prefer a fitting context and a just critique.

But lolbuttz it; it’s Friday. Who cares? Let’s jam some AB and headbang our way into the weekend.

So, what are y’all flushing today? What was awesome? Am I being an a-hole? Let me know below.

(Photo VIA)

Written by:

Published on: November 21, 2014

Filled Under: Opinion

Views: 1802

Tags: , , ,

  • fuck clients who tell you they’re cutting the budget from 900k to 250k

  • Dennis the Peasant

    Hipster Jack doesn’t want the mainstream people to know about the music he likes.

    • VV.

      I’m not Jack, but yes, Death, I deserve that comment. In fact, you could say I set myself up for it. Almost as if it was intentional.

      • Dennis the Peasant

        I honestly don’t know how I fucked up. I saw that it was written by you, but my brain told me Jack.

        • you must’ve looked Jack Bauer playlists of Tech Death.. I think he have even demos that aren’t available anywhere. The guy’s a tech death encyclopedia

          • Dennis the Peasant

            There is a guy who loves tech death and even Archspire more than Jack.

          • mr. Bojangles? God? King shit of sfdbhfysduiafbuisdfi mountain? You? Me? W? Axl Rosenberg? Paris Hilton? Nicolás Maduro?

          • Dennis the Peasant

            He never comments here, only lurks. His name shall remain silent. At least Jack and Jimmy know who I’m talking about.

          • and how.

          • Dennis the Peasant

            Wat?

          • King God of Holy Mountain

            I must know jimmy. Tell meeeee

    • *flush*

  • Tyreeeeeeeal

    Dead Congregation >>>>>>>>>> Artificial Brain

      • He looks like a stretch armstrong figure.

      • Xan

        I shall back him too. Though I enjoy Labyrinth Constellation, I think I prefer Promulgation to the Fall.

      • Guacamelee Jim

        His chest looks like a horrifying, inquisitive face.

      • BLVCKBEVRD’S FLESH WOVND

        You didn’t ask my permission to use my image on your comment.

        • this is the pirate life, eh? lift so many kegs leaves you with dancing pectorals

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S FLESH WOVND

            Mr Pirate Universe.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Man I look good there.

    • VV.

      I respectfully disagree.

      • Metaphysical Edward

        Labyrinth Constellation > Promulgation of the Fall.

        • VV.

          Thank you based Ed.

          • Metaphysical Edward

            The number of “>”s is important there.

          • VV.

            My name is Jimmy; I’ll take what you gimme.

          • easy there bub

        • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

          Listened to Dead Congregation for a bit, didn’t like it much. Labyrinth Constellation though, that album, whoa.

          • Tyreeeeeeeal

            Remove “Void” from your name.

          • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

            No.

          • VV.

            There’s my skronk-loving goat when I need him.

          • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

            SKRONK in all caps. I also enjoy calling it THE SKRONK, like the blues.

          • KJM

            DAT SKRONK

          • KJM

            DAT SKRONK

          • KJM

            DAT SKRONK

          • KJM

            DAT SKRONK

          • KJM

            DAT SKRONK

          • KJM

            DAT SKRONK

          • KJM

            Sorry about that. Disqus was being drunk.

          • CT-12

            I THOUGHT IT WAS DISSONANT DEATH METAL NOW! DDM>>>>Skronk hahaha, seriously though, at this point, “skronk” as a label is here to stay, we fought the good fight

          • VV.

            Ed and I will still use DDM. I also like weird death.

          • Metaphysical Edward

            I had the same experience, honest. Promulgation didn’t grab me as immediately, despite being the darling of the metal blogosphere and they the “most important band in death metal”. Don’t get me wrong, I have listened to it several times since and that shit is solid (top 13 worthy, likely) but Labyrinth Constellation was this year’s Colored Sands, for me, and I’m not that much of a tech-death guy.

      • Dennis the Peasant

        I’ll agree with you, if you promise that you won’t repress me.

    • Honestly, I find them hard to compare. It’s akin to comparing Rothko with de Kooning or something.

    • DC =============== AB

  • which was the Carcass song?

  • You know a band is good when they only have one album but are accurately referred to as titans.

    • Gvrp

      Even better, one album that just came out THIS YEAR.

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    Fuck it, lets travel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMIvywLO2tw

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    Results are rarely uplifting when the mainstream gets its hands on a subculture. Bikers, punks, any but the mildest fetishists. All good boogeypeople to keep the normals in line. But I think of this stuff like planting seeds. Sure, many, even most viewers will just watch and forget a half hour later. But what about the one or two who twist in their sleep and wake up dazed a week from now because the grisly unknown has called to them?

  • King God of Holy Mountain

    I have no strong feelings one way or the other

  • I found it funny.

  • King God of Holy Mountain

    Also there are people over on FFB attacking Tay Swift. Y’all gonna take that?

    • That’s terrible. But I don’t want to associate with *THOSE* people.

      • King God of Holy Mountain

        I think one touched me. I need to take a shower.

    • They just gotta have those sweet, sweet pageviews.

    • VV.

      I respect myself too much to go to FFB.

      • King God of Holy Mountain

        I respect myself just little enough to sometimes comment over there.

        • And here I was thinking you were perfect.

          • King God of Holy Mountain

            I am perfect. My self esteem not so much.

          • VV.

            If I told you I respected you too much to let you go there, would you stop?

          • King God of Holy Mountain

            I probably would

          • VV.

            I respect you too much to let you go there. You deserve a better blog and a better community.

          • King God of Holy Mountain

            *tries to hide tear coming from eye* aww shucks. I suppose I’ll stop going.

          • Now THAT’S the sort of God I can get behind.

          • Dennis the Peasant

            If he’s the god from the bible, I don’t think he wants you to “get behind” him.

          • Mr. Bojangles “got behind” your mom.

          • Dennis the Peasant

            If this is true, he’s a brave cat.

          • Guacamelee Jim

            … go on….

          • Dennis the Peasant

            He’s got to be brave as fuck if he can pork that wrinkly monster.

          • Guacamelee Jim

            ^^ this >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

          • King God of Holy Mountain

            All joking aside, I fucking love this community we made. I feel like I have more friends online who value eachothers opinions and have fun. And many thanks to Joe for keeping this place running and all the wonderful contributors. Love this place

          • (refresh to view image)

          • Amen!

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S FLESH WOVND

            #VoidBrethren

          • King God of Holy Mountain

            #stayvoid
            #hailthefuckingvoid
            #stareintothecvntingvoid

      • M Shadows!

        That’s a dangerous place filled with stupid where the pedoduck dwells and the axl smells! Ooooh new song lyrics!

        • KJM

          The Pedoduck? Is that anything like The Jabberwock? M.SHADOWS!!

          • M Shadows!

            I need an adult!

      • Lacertilian

        Is it something to do with Facebook?
        What is FFB?
        Do I want to know?
        Can I kill it?

        • CyberneticOrganism

          If it bleeds, you can lolbuttz.

        • Failure For Blogs = MS. (@dario_argento:disqus invented it)

          • Lacertilian

            Conan strikes again!

          • Gvrp

            While we’re at it, what’s RHRC?

    • Dennis the Peasant

      I’ll go there and agree with them.

      • King God of Holy Mountain

        Filthy peasant

        • Dennis the Peasant

          I am offended that you automatically treat me like an inferior. How’s you even become a god? I never voted for you.

          • King God of Holy Mountain

            *makes horse galloping noises with coconuts*

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S FLESH WOVND

            Who made you king!?

          • Guacamelee Jim

            The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Guacamole, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.

          • King God of Holy Mountain

            Listen, strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

          • Morbo

            WORSHIP MORBO AND FIND PEACE IN SLAVERY.

          • hope Morbo find some time on his news program to come to chat with us more in a while!

    • Stay katy

      • Guacamelee Jim

        #katycat

      • CyberneticOrganism

        #stayperfectbreasts

    • Gvrp

      Were we really all that’s worthwhile about it?

  • I wouldn’t mind metal getting more popular. It would be easier for bands to tour that way. It does irritate me that metal is associated with unintelligence in the media though. I mean it takes way more brain power to absorb something like gorguts then to just listen to the same dance beat over and over while the vocalist repeats the same 3 words (sometimes one word) over and over again.

    • one sticker for Jack!

      • Guacamelee Jim

        I FUCKING LOVE THIS STICKER

      • My life’s goal is to receive such a sticker for myself.

        • it’s too limited 🙁 the impressions and the sticker paper here are too costly to massify it, so I use it in special special occasions 😛

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S FLESH WOVND

            One single sticker costs 3000 hairs.

            #VenezuelaFacts

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S FLESH WOVND

            You sit in line 6 hours to get one sticker, only to have it stolen from you at gunpoint 6 minutes later.

            #VenezuelaFacts

          • Oh, boy. I’ll regret this. I think the goverment and in my work will ban my IP for talking that yesterday

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S FLESH WOVND

            Link has been confined to a state-run facility for speaking out against Best Venezuela

            #VenezuelaFacts

          • KJM

            I’m sure he’ll get the help he needs to become a productive citizen once again.

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S FLESH WOVND

            #SOSLEONHART

          • KJM

            If I ever get to visit my Twitter “girlfriend” in Argentina, I’ll stop by your way and bust you out of jail.

      • NefariousDude

        I want one 🙁

      • Gvrp

        One day, I aspire to be awarded this sticker. It will go on the wall next to the banana sticker.

        • more beer

          As long as they aren`t participation sticker`s I told you ya gotta earn them!

        • KJM

          Somebody better give me a fucking Banana Sticker or I will go shithouse all up in here.

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxxQS5LJi9w

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan is #teamedw

            I want a banana sticker!

    • Metaphysical Edward

      Jack you’re beautiful like diamonds in the sky.

      • <3

      • BLVCKBEVRD’S FLESH WOVND

        #SHINEBRIGHTLIKEADIAMOND

        • Metaphysical Edward

          Blackbeard, you and I, we’re like diamonds in the sky.

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S FLESH WOVND

            Ed, you SHINE BRIGHT LIKE A DIAMOND

          • Metaphysical Edward

            Blackbeard, we found love in a hopeless place.

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S FLESH WOVND

            Ed, We found love in a hopeless place.

          • Archspire.

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S FLESH WOVND

            Archspire Archspire

          • Metaphysical Edward

            WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE
            WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE
            WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE
            WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S FLESH WOVND

            WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE
            SHINE BRIGHT LIKE A DIAMOND
            WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE
            SHINE BRIGHT LIKE A DIAMOND

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S FLESH WOVND
          • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

            ……

          • KJM

            Lars was great in the 80s. He’s the prime example of the rock star who got lazier the more successful he became.

          • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

            …….

          • more beer

            I went on a tour at the Stanley Hotel about a month ago that shit was badass. and WENDY I`M HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

            Is it still a functioning hotel or is it just tours ? Sounds cool.

          • more beer

            Functioning hotel! It was a lot of fun the ghost tour there. I went with a friend who was in a prettty big band in the 90`s and we had a ball!!!

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan is #teamedw

            What band?

          • more beer

            I try not to drop my friends names out of respect for their privacy. That`s why I just left it at that.

          • KJM

            I would actually buy these if McDonald’s did them.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan is #teamedw

            I loved that movie but Shelley Duvall was so annoying in it.

          • KJM

            She was supposed to be annoying. That’s one of the things Kubrick did with ‘The Shining’ that really pissed off Stephen King.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan is #teamedw

            The three of us found love in a hopeless place. I love the music of Rihanna.

      • #JackInTheSkyWithDiamonds

    • Xan

      It annoys the shit out of me too. At least as this website is concerned, most of the people here appear to be quite normal and intelligent. I certainly think I know more about most things than the average dillhole. I tell people who ask me how I can stand to listen to a wall of distortion and screaming that I prefer complex patterns and a concept that I can wrap my brain around and almost become another person whilst listening to it. I can’t listen to the newest overproduced, sparkling clean pop album and think creatively. The songs don’t have anything I can relate to. I relate to gore, darkness, abyss, void, macabre, sinister. It helps me focus and really helps me to understand how my brain actually functions.

      • JWG

        To that first sentence: I may be intelligent (though I may also just have a better memory capacity than I generally acknowledge), but I don’t like the label “normal” at all.

        To the other point, but taking it in a slightly different direction: I don’t think I could quite draw any parallels between what kind of metal I like versus how I think (or which kinds stimulate me to think), because how I think and how I present those thought-processes tends to be very thorough, purely logical extremely task-and-detail-oriented, and rarely as works-in-progress (I’m supposedly very strongly coordinated to an “ISTJ” on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator*).

        And that would suggest that I should be mostly into tech-death (which I admittedly like a lot) and the kind of 2nd-wave-aping black metal bands (which I’m not really sold on most of the time) that just “create” (thoughts-set-to-music) instead of “compose” (feelings-set-to-music). For the latter I’d point to my similar enjoyment Cascadian Black Metal, Progressive and ‘post’-Metal, and melodic or traditional Doom as probably contradictory to that hypothesis. Maybe?

        * Side-project idea: a painstakingly-crafted Map of Metal and how its subgenres (and sub subgenres) fit with the 16 ‘types’ resulting from the MBTI.

        • Oh man. Do that map. I wanna see it.

          • JWG

            I suspect that the map would differ wildly depending on where on the MBTI the person who creates it actually “is”, themselves.

            All it takes is one internal disagreement between whether its better to place subgenres based on (a) their technical aspects or (b) how they ‘feel’ and you’re already stuck between ST (with a bias toward J) rather than FN (J/P still open to interpretation).

            At least differentiating between Introverted and Extroverted metal is easier than the other three facets.

          • Guacamelee Jim

            What would ENTP be?

          • JWG

            I would propose that ‘avant-garde’ label would be ideally suited for ENTJ … with the last facet depending on how improvisational it is when performed ‘Live” (more = P, less = J).

            … which would, admittedly, be a cop-out if there wasn’t widespread acceptance that “avant-garde” qualifies as a subgenre label even in Metal.

          • KJM

            INTJ 4 life.

            You’re all plotting against me, aren’t you?

          • more beer

            You better make sure your GPS is working!!!!

          • VV.

            I second this.

    • Tyreeeeeeeal

      Sussudio I just say the word
      Oh Sussudio I just say the word
      Oh Sussudio I’ll say the word
      Sussudio oh oh oh
      Just say the word

      • Lol what?

        • Tyreeeeeeeal

          “…while the vocalist repeats the same 3 words (sometimes one word) over and over again.”

          • What’s sussido?

          • CyberneticOrganism

            I’d love to have the funds to build a nice home STU-STU-STUDIO

          • I am so mad at you right now.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Maybe you should talk to my therapist Michael JU-JU-JULIO

          • KJM

            Ow, that fucking hurt.

          • more beer

            Therapists have no place in metal!!!!!!

          • CyberneticOrganism

            By “therapist” I mean “brewer”

          • more beer

            I do approve of alcohol therapy.

          • more beer

            You can`t be mad at him his therapist says so. But if you were to handle handle your business with a throat punch I think most of us in the toilet would understand. It`s the hardcore thing to do!

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I love Phil Collins but I hate this song and its accompanying album as it is extremely dated.

      • KJM

        o_O

      • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

        The fact that it’s in this movie almost makes it a little bit good, ALMOST.

    • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

      FUCK DANCE. Everybody around me listens to the same cunting DJ’s who make the same cunting music with the same cunting hooks and the same cunting themes. Long ago, when I was young and naive, I didn’t like EDM and Dance, but hey, it’s not my genre, and there must be SOME good DJ’s out there, right? I’m not picking on the entire genre, just the bollocks I’m exposed to. BUT FUCK THE STUFF I’M EXPOSED TO. Few things make me more depressed than EDM.

      • I actually listened to and enjoyed some pop stuff like Katy Perry for a bit this month. But that’s just it, a bit. Now I’m just skipping them all because I’m tired of it, whereas I still jump up and down when I hear my favorite rammstein song or any revocation song or something. That’s the difference in genres. Metal trancends time while pop and edm or whatever else rises and falls with the trends. Originality prevails in metal.

        • Dennis the Peasant

          You’ve become a poser, my friend.

          • You don’t even like metal.

          • Dennis the Peasant

            I’ve never said that I’m not a poser.

          • M Shadows!

            Of course not! Can’t be a loofah and a poser simultaneously! that would cause like a rift in the fabric of the void or something!

          • No, I simply wandered off the proper path for a bit to see what the big deal was. I found the answer: fucking nothing

          • Dennis the Peasant

            It was just a joke, you don’t have to be so serious about it

          • Who says I’m serious perhaps I’m simply fucking with you :P. I do that sometimes.

          • Dennis the Peasant

            I do that always
            FTFY

          • 😉

        • pop >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

    • CT-12

      ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS etc.

      • KJM
        • CT-12

          Welp, this was the fucking weird thing I needed today hahaha! This sounds pretty good though, a lot like Midnight but more punk or something, sidenote: being sick sucks ass.

          • KJM

            That’s from long ago and far away(mid 90s). Scissorfight haven’t been active for a while and that’s a shame.

        • more beer

          Good band

    • more beer

      It`s metal it isn`t supposed to appease the masses! It`s an outlaw thing living against the norm! If you really think differently than that maybe you don`t belong here!

  • Guacamelee Jim

    lolbuttz #>>>>>>>>>

  • J.R.

    I thought I was helping a buddy move today, so I got up early, let my other friend use my car in exchange for his truck, and contacted buddy to let him know I was coming…only to be reminded we are moving him tomorrow.
    oh well. At least my Pathfinder game with said buddy-being-moved is still on for tonight, so that should be exciting.

    On the topic of music and acceptance, I turned on my radio the other day to find Twelve Foot Ninja’s “Coming For You” playing over the airwaves. I was excited because I like those guys and want only the best for them, but I felt myself uttering “I liked them before they were cool” and almost killed myself right then and there. Quite the pickle.

    • BLVCKBEVRD’S FLESH WOVND

      Pathfinder >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

      • J.R.

        Sadly, I am the only one to show up, so we got bbq and played some skyrim. so…not a total loss

        • BLVCKBEVRD’S FLESH WOVND

          We often have trouble finding a 4th for table top night, so it usually gets downgraded to a LAN or a boardgame.

          • J.R.

            yeah everyone canceled at the last minute which sucked. he downloaded League out of desperation and we 1v1’d into the night. again, not a total loss. would rather have Pathfound though. we should start a TovH Pathfinder game. take place in the forum. battle against posers and flushing lifelovers etc etc

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S FLESH WOVND

            I donno how many nerds we have on this level. I’d do it (might even have someone else who would) but I donno about the rest of these guys.

          • VV.

            If I had time, I’d be interested. I tried D&D once over the summer.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I’d do it considering I have a lot of time on my hands.

    • VV.

      That’s how this AB business made me feel. Pickled.

  • Guacamelee Jim

    Start this song at 1:15, then stare at this gif for the ENTIRE THING. Then report back.
    http://www.mygarage.ro/attachments/fun/69336d1261260350-funny-pictures-bush_bear-20dance.gif

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tK_RucEthvc

    • this is so cool! tunz tunz tunz

    • more beer

      What did W ever do to you for you to out him like that?

    • AT WHAT VOLUME???

      • Guacamelee Jim

        Hey man, do I look like zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz here? I’m just trying to get my jams on.

    • VV.

      Hey,W. doesn’t like being associated with THAT bear.

      • Guacamelee Jim

        I didn’t make the gif man, and the internet doesn’t lie. I assumed you were drunk.

  • Xan

    I think I’ll start making a ritual out of listening to this every Friday: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tx1mryKqvT8

    • CyberneticOrganism
      • Xan

        I listened to Wehrmacht’s first album several weeks ago and was incredibly impressed. That is some quality thrash.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          Seriously, for all their teenage beer antics they can rip it up.

      • more beer

        Fuck yea Shark Attack kills too!

    • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

      ……..

      • more beer

        That must be Crom approved!

    • VV.

      A man man man!

    • more beer

      Where are the roofies?

  • Lacertilian

    Jeremy Brett as Holmes
    or
    SUFFER UNTO THE VOID YOU LIFELOVING FVCKSTAINS.

    Also, David Burke & Edward Hardwicke as Watson.
    LUCY LIU HAS NO PLACE HERE!

    • BLVCKBEVRD’S FLESH WOVND

      Benedict Cumberbatch (wtf really) as Sherlock is still good. 1 voidillion times better than Elementary

      • Lacertilian

        I’ve heard that too but I don’t like the concept of Holmes being in present day with all our technology.
        Some of the major plot points rely on the absence of tech such as electricity, e.g. candle wax for elucidating times.

        • BLVCKBEVRD’S FLESH WOVND

          Give it a shot man. As a super nerd and Doyle-reader, its a damn good series, and he makes a great Sherlock.

          • Lacertilian

            Ok, should I be corrupted from this I shall forever curse the name Blvckbevrd.

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S FLESH WOVND

            Join the club, scallywag!

          • Lacertilian

            I feel obligated to post an Alestorm track now but I’ll refrain.

          • MoshOff

            Thank you for refraining.

  • that CSI embed. everybody click that link.

    • Lacertilian

      YEEEEAAAHHHH!
      Even my wife enjoyed that one.

    • CT-12

      That was pretty fucking great

    • BLVCKBEVRD’S FLESH WOVND

      pretty good. +1 NC plates

    • VV.

      Thanks for pointing it out!

  • Renan Ribeiro

    I think few of us jumped right into slam and said “FUCK YEAH THIS IS AWESOME”. It takes time to build tolerance to the more punishing styles… I still have some problems with long sessions of styles such as power electronics and the aforementioned slam.

    I’ve been a metal fan for the larger portion of my short life, but I only started truly enjoying extreme metal the past couple years.

    Has anyone here been able to start listening to metal through grindcore, death or black?

    • Dennis the Peasant

      I actually kinda started through those genres due to me being a fan of noise before I found metal.

      • BLVCKBEVRD’S FLESH WOVND

        Oh but if I went ’round sayin’ I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away.

        • Lacertilian

          moistened bint sounds very Cleese-ian.

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S FLESH WOVND

            this needs to be adapted to every day TOH speech. i will work on it

    • The Satan Ov Hell

      I started with Goatwhore.

    • Gvrp

      I got into tech death pretty quick because the sheer instrumental prowess blew my socks off. Took me awhile to develop any real appreciation for the art form, though.

      • Same here. At first, it just sounded like a bunch of pompous noodling (what I call The Yngwie Syndrome), but when I started listening to it and breaking down the parts in my head, it made a lot more sense. Meshuggah was a grand example of that. To me it just sounded like monotonous repitition, but when I listened to each individual part, I was like “woah, there’s quite a lot going on here!”.

    • more beer

      I`m an old school metal head I started with Black Sabbath long ago when that was all there was. I listen to a lot of grind and deathcand have for years. Start there without a doubt you are so far ahead of your peers who are listening to ffdp. grind on young metal brother!

      • Renan Ribeiro

        I started with Black Sabbath as well when I was 9 or 10 yrs old. “War Pigs” blew my mind back then…

  • KJM

    TV shows about cops, courtrooms, and hospitals give me Dysentery and severely rustled jimmies.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Same. I love seeing press releases for AMAZING!!1 new network shows that are always about cops, doctors or lawyers. Nothing else, ever. These are the only three professions on the entire planet.

      • Lacertilian

        I’m an attorney policing medical centers, where’s my show?

    • Even ‘House’?!

      • KJM

        Yeah, even House. Hugh Laurie is great but I just can’t hang.

  • KJM

    Go home Disqus, yr drunk.

  • KJM

    Since we’re starting to talk about ‘best of 2014’ shit:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZnR5Nj1Tx8

    • CT-12

      Fuck yeah, that was a ride

      • KJM

        The whole disc is great.

  • CT-12

    Well, this article and the song enclosed finally got me more interested in Artificial Brain, so thanks for that Dubya!

    • Lacertilian

      now you too can Harvest Worms for Brain Transplants during your very own Moon Funeral.

    • next you’re gonna be listening to Pyrrhon

    • VV.

      Anything to serve. I’ve made no attempt to hide my love for this band.

  • Janitor Jim Dvggan is #teamedw

    I’m listening to this album right now that is soul crushingly heavy from 1970. It is so far ahead of its time. It combines experimental electronic noise and blues rock. Ladies and (mostly) gentlemen, Ceremony by Spooky Tooth!

    Note: I cannot find the whole album on Youtube so here is three of the six songs on the album.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcFEyEVGEjc

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSohxuTEk1E

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXzNWFw1btA

  • I think the whole thing of metal being spooky and scary is pretty much over with. I was playing Emperor’s live DVD tonight, and my friend/roomie’s 5 year old daughter popped in, heard it, and was like “eh”. So that barrier has been overcome in the mainstream media. Hell, Supernatural, which is on a completely teenie bopper line-up, plays plenty of old school metal and references it.

  • Gvrp

    Wow, is it really week two of this? Time really flew…

    I’ve been jamming The Armed’s Spreading Joy EP a lot. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wivH156cVlw

    It’s pretty hardcore oriented grind with great production, and it’s free on their Bandcamp page. And my stipend came in, so I finally got the new Dragon Age game, which I’m starting tonight. Don’t really have much to complain about 😀
    Oh wait, except my kid brother, who’s had drug problems for the past five years got caught stealing from the liquor again. Two bottles of beer and one of my mom’s favorite wines, which was from 2008 and probably cost around $60. He’s been acting like a pissant little bitch all day ever since he got found out. Sure pal, like you were the one wronged here. Ugh.

    But, hey, beer money!