Epica – The Solace System: A Video Breakdown

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Take solace in the fact that you couldn’t have done any worse.

Heavy metal and cartoons go together like chocolate and peanut butter. The first thing that comes to mind when thinking about those two things together is, of course, the Heavy Metal movies. The violence and nudity-heavy first movie had a soundtrack that featured songs by bands like Black Sabbath, Blue Oyster Cult, and Nazareth while the sequel had Pantera, System Of A Down, and Monster Magnet. It also had an ICP/Twizted song.

Beyond those movies, bands have also used animation for their music videos. Obituary, High On Fire, A Sound Of Thunder, Kverlertak, and even Pearl Jam (at their heaviest) have successfully used animation to complement their music. Oh yeah, and this little thing called Metalocalypse. All of those things work because the animation is good (or at least fun).  When the animation is bad, well…just ask Epica.

0:05: Wh…what the hell was that? A pervy Braniac?
0:08: Dollar Store Iron Man is here.
0:13: Welcome to Detroit.
0:19: My reaction.
0:24: It’s nice to see someone still uses Windows 95.
0:31: Maybe he’ll catch a better animator.
0:39: Please turn out to be a facehugger. Please turn out to be a facehugger.
0:42: Look out! They’re extremely sharp noses are about to collide!
0:44: Cheeto Cat!
0:50: Yeah, that’s how humans brush their teeth.
0:54: And run.
1:01: Holy shit! We just found Carmen Sandiego!
1:08: The newest Lucky Charms marshmallow: Purple Triangle Thing.
1:15: Forgot to mention it’s laced with LSD.
1:21: You just know this guy hisses all his S’s like Cobra Commander.
1:28: “Honey, let’s lick this Lucky Charms marshmallow and watch The Great British Bakeoff.”
1:37: He’s blunt, but he makes a good point.
1:43: I guess he’s more of a Cake Boss fan.
1:57: How could they not even get basic movements to look normal?
2:00: Yes, she literally made the trees grow more wood.
2:07: Badly Animated Power Merol Face.
2:13: Villains provided by the notebook sketches of a middle school sociopath.
2:22: I hope his name is something ridiculous like Ssssssir Ssssssnake or Captain Cobra.
2:33: I don’t think this falls under the “No Anime” rule because anime looks better than this.
2:41: And that’s including the Dragonball Z fight animation that’s just the same 2 seconds over and over.
2:52: Take comfort in the fact that someone has probably masturbated to this.
3:01: Ladies, there are easier ways to play stickball.
3:08: That’s one way to end a fight.
3:15: Wayne Lapierre just got the stiffest 2 incher.
3:21: Ooooh, what a fashionable fur coat that storm trooper has on.
3:29: “His name was Jason…”
3:36: Now that’s just an impractical design.
3:51: If this is just one long ad for the University of Phoenix, I’m going to be very upset.
4:00: “Fist Power, activate…Hey, stop laughing when I say that!”
4:05: Bro, do you even lift gigantic shoulder cannons?
4:18: Somebody went to Jared’s.
4:27: Take that, ghetto Deadpool!
4:36: What’s the butter knife for? Are we having toast?
4:43: Nice of her to bring the strawberry jam to the toast party.
4:50: Gasp! Do you know what that means? No, seriously, I’m asking because I have no idea what’s going on.
4:58: Gimme a “T”!
5:03: Huehuehuehuehue.

Epica’s new EP The Solace System is out on September 1, 2017 via Nuclear Blast Records.

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  • The Arm(KJM)

    Hellooooooo!!?

    • Sir Ukkometso The Based

      Is everyone dead?

      • The Arm(KJM)

        I guess so?

      • Maik Beninton™

        I am

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Anyone home?

  • PostBlackenedWhaleGaze

    “Villains provided by the notebook sketches of a middle school sociopath.” – Hahaha, so true.

    I’m kinda surprised by this. Epica(guilty pleasure of mine) usually seems to have such a high production value to the stuff they put out. It’s like someone in the band was learning to use Flash and they let them make the video.

  • Spear

    Yeesh. That might have been good if any effort had been put into it.