Dubya’s Thankfulness Top Ten

2011
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Gather round, lads and lasses. Today is the North America Day of Giving Thanks, and my body is just bursting with thanks jelly. There are so many wonderful things in this world to be grateful for, so in between your bouts of wrestling with Paw-Paw and avoiding Aunt Sally’s fingers, you may find some solace in the glowing arms of thankfulness on this here toilet place. After you’ve read and thanked me for all the things for which I’m grateful, void your own bowels of thanks in the comments that I might thank you for the thanking.

10. Whole Chicken in a Can – Things just haven’t been the same back on the ranch since the twins passed three years ago during the poultry-gulping competition. Thankfully, the fine folks at Sweet Sue have read all those letters I sent to Santa and finally answered my prayers. Now, we can once again enjoy the North America Day of Giving Thanks meal in peace with the knowledge that no one will choke gulping poultry. Those smart folks at Sweet Sue had us in mind when they liquefied the bones of this fowl. THANKS!

9. America Online – I know what you’re thinking. “How in the world have the Bushes survived out there on the ranch with only a 56K modem?” Two words. America. Online. The fantastic customer service and beautiful interface have enabled me to stay in touch with loved ones like Joseph B. Thanksnkill. Thanks to AOL chatrooms, we’re always just one roleplaying cyber-message away! THANKS!

8. Hollywood Video – I hate the selection at Blockbuster. I can never find the Police Academy films or Star Wars: Ewok Adventures – The Battle for Endor. However, my trusty neighborhood Hollywood Video has never failed me. Thanks to Hollywood Video, I’m all set for my cathode tube-binging of every season of Fran Drescher’s The Nanny this North America Day of Giving Thanks. THANKS!

7. Carhartt Coveralls – No one likes being cold. The ranch is cold, though. We can’t turn the ceiling fans off or the owls will get us. That’s why this North America Day of Giving Thanks, I’m grateful for my quality Carhartt Coveralls. Stylish and comfortable, these coveralls fit snugly over my deer-hide long johns, and I never have to be concerned about losing warmth in my important nether regions. As an added bonus, the sensible folks at Carhartt installed a hiney flap so that I can continue to stay warm inside my coveralls while taking a doozy of a twosie out back in the wood shed. THANKS!

6. Shrimp in a Pizza Box – It’s really difficult to get seafood out here at the ranch. However, we can still eat like rich blue bloods thanks to the abundant supply of shrimp out in the creek out back. All I have to do is take a stick, poke it down into the mud a little, and voila, I’ve got myself a whole mess of shrimp. These little shrimp really get the Missus’ Prius roaring if you know what I mean, so adding these delicious little creek prawns to a fancy Italian pizza box just seals the deal. THANKS!

5. Ears – No explanation necessary. THANKS!

4. Enriched Uranium – Sometimes when I lay in bed in my Carhartt Coveralls at night listening to the owls in the rafters hooting back and forth, I get overwhelmed by fright and sweat right through my deer-hide long johns until my Carhartt Coveralls get stiff and sticky from night-fear sweat. In those instances, the Missus has to take the Carhartt Coveralls out back to the shrimp creek and wash them to get the night-fear sweat stiffness out. In those vulnerable moments while I’m left in the cold, I know I can use some of my enriched uranium stockpile to do more than heat my oven I use to cook my whole chicken in a can. I can use it to light my space heater too so that I don’t get frostbite in my nether regions. THANKS!

3. Power Metal – In his Old Testament book on Chinese wisdom, the prophet Sun Tzu admonishes us to keep our friends close, but our enemies closer. Taking those words to heart, I have been listening to power metal for years and have even invited Randall Thor over for North America Day of Giving Thanks. As far as I can tell, I have not yet been murdered by an oily dungeon master. Sun Tzu tells no lies. THANKS!

2. Bicylces – What would a North America Day of Giving Thanks be without a good old-fashioned bicycle joust out on the family football field. I don’t mean to brag, but I’m currently the reigning family champion ever since the twins choked on their turkey three years ago, and I’ve only been un-bicycled five times in my entire adult life. I hope Randall Thor knows how to ride a tandem bicycle. THANKS!

1. Dave Grohl – He IS the reason for the season. He brought peace to the warring pilgrim tribes and started the North America Day of Giving Thanks tradition by inviting all of the prisoners in Pennsylvania to his mansion for a meal! Before you gulp down your boneless chicken or crack the first tail off a creek shrimp, give a thanks to Ol’ Grohl. THANKS!

North American friends, what are you thankful for on this North America Day of Giving Thanks? Non-North American friends, what are you thankful for on this average day? Sound off in the comments below!

(Photos VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA)

  • Shrimp in a Pizza Box

    I might need to inform you that by consuming me you might end up with a severe case of multiple deadly viral diseases, be the only other person in the world that actually still listens to Red Hot Chili Peppers in 20 fucking 15, and have Joey wanting to shove you in the tightest of lockers because of your extensive knowledge of World of Warcraft lore.

    • BEARD-SPLITTER

      FOR THE HORDE

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      I never OD’d on RHCP like everyone else did during the 90s so I’m still able to enjoy the odd jam from them.

      • Guacamole Jim

        Blood Sugar Sex Magik is still a solid album. It’s held up well.

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          John Frusciante is top notch, always hoped he’d end up as a permanent member of The Mars Volta but not to be.

          • RJA

            Frusciante played with The Mars Volta? I did not know that.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Only in the studio. Omar Rodriguez-Lopez would write the guitar parts and John would play them.

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            Ever heard Deconstruction (Dave Navaro’s band in between Jane’s Addiction and RHCP)?

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62If3SSdFYk

        • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

          I got my tapes, i got cds, i got my Public Enemy!

        • Sir Tapir The Based

          Nope.

          • Shrimp in a Pizza Box

            You’re just mad at the name because you’re a diabetic eunuch.

          • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

            And a muggle.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Fucking mudbloods

            (Ie one of the coolest racial slurs ever, thnx harry potter)

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            He doesn’t want to be a miner.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Eunuch, yes
            Diabetic, no
            It’s just that RHCP is fucking horrible.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER
        • Dagon

          Me 2

        • Lacertilian

          Yeah, that one had some actual riffs on it.

      • Óðinn

        What about MDMA or LSD?

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          No LSD since 2006(probably never again), and no MDMA since 2012(even then it was just enough to keep me awake). Neither are really my cup of tea anymore.

    • [spoiler] VARIAN WRYNN DIES [/spoiler]

    • Lacertilian

      I never realised you were a real thing.

    • you are da best, mang!

      • Ground Beef Booger Riot

        Misread that as ‘mange’.

  • Merry Turkey Day everyone. Why hasn’t this been made into a movie?

    http://static.srcdn.com/slir/w500-h349-q90-c500:349/wp-content/uploads/thanksgiving.jpg

  • MoshOff

    I’m EXTREMELY thankful for the fact that I have an awesome job with awesome people, and a dinner date with an awesome chick lined up for this weekend.

    “Life is awesome except when it isn’t.”
    -#Plato

    Happy Thanksgiving guys!! You’re alright for a bunch of strangers on the internet.

  • Guacamole Jim

    Dave Grohl is all that I need to be thankful for, for Dave Grohl is all things.

    Pictured: the end of Papa Joe’s dreams.

    http://assets.rollingstone.com/assets/2015/article/dave-grohl-stevie-wonder-miley-cyrus-to-present-at-grammys-20150207/185122/medium_rect/1423346139/720×405-79692962.jpg

  • RJA

    I had to research the whole chicken in a can because I was hoping it wasn’t real. My research has changed me. I think I will stick to mostly beer today and refrain from food.
    Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

    • Dubs

      Stay on that liquid diet, my son.

    • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

      Nothing wrong with beer for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

    • more beer

      That is a truly horrifying chicken. Beer is always a good plaan.

    • Lacertilian

      Tyree mentioned it to me earlier in the week as I too, was unaware of chicken in a can. The only meat I trust from a can is tuna in brine or oil.

      • Ground Beef Booger Riot

        It was actually quite popular in Puerto Rico when I lived there.

  • BEARD-SPLITTER

    Im thankful for not being homeless, not having baby hands, not listening to 100% garbage, not being not a hipster, replacing Dawkins with Grohl for the god du jour, and most of all . . . The terlet.

    • Sir Tapir The Based

      “not listening to 100% garbage”
      I dunno about that man.

      • MoshOff

        SHOTS FIRED

        • BEARD-SPLITTER

          Meh, better than the tapirs 110% ugly

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            You don’t need good looks when you don’t exist.

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      +100 for “no baby hands”

      • -100 for “Grohl”, so it’s essentially a wash.

  • I never thought I would say this: happy thanksgiving for all! (I don’t know how’s this tradition, so don’t blame me).

    Also, this canned chicken thingy reminded me once again how advanced is the technology in North América. I mean, we don’t have enough chickens to start, but… Man, a whole chicken in a can!? What’s next? Microwave tacos?!

    • Dubs
      • MoshOff

        “Ask, and colesterol ye shall receive.”
        -Thomas Jefferson

      • You are truly blessed to live in such a fine place in which you can clog your arteries in a more sucessful way.

        ¡Bravo, gringos!

        • RJA

          Just because something CAN be done – does that mean it SHOULD be done. We have truly answered that question here in the United States.

          • I want to visit US and clog my arteries with that technology advanced food products. You won’t stop me!

            *dies in obesity, huehuehue’ing in his final breath*

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            jajajaja

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            And you’d get to see the true face of America over at the local Walmart.

            http://img.izismile.com/img/img3/20100203/wal_mart_32.jpg

          • Everything that CAN happen WILL happen. It’s a scientific law or something.

        • Ground Beef Booger Riot

          They actually have XXL size microwave tacos at the dollar store I go to. $1 for a whole lot of colon-wrecking goodness!

    • Guacamole Jim
    • more beer

      All you need to know is. We stuff our fat fucking faces with too much turkey, drink too much, and watch football. All while giving thanks for stealing this country from the Native Americans.

      • No entiendo. Dame más cerveza.

        • more beer

          It is not to hard to understand. It is a holiday of gluttony.

      • Ground Beef Booger Riot

        And stealing it from the Mexicans. Happy Trail Of Tears Day, everyone!

        • more beer

          The Mexicans signed treaties with us. We just took shit from the Indians. There is a big difference in the two.

    • Lacertilian

      “advanced”

  • Sir Tapir The Based

  • MoshOff

    I’m also thankful for this fine creation (RFI):

  • Dubs

    I’m thankful that Joe lets me write asinine things. Have a great North America Day of Giving Thanks, everyone.

    • more beer

      When I saw the Hollywood Video thing there. The first thing I thought was the Hollywood Video murders in Albuquerque. Five people were murdered in the Hollywood Video on Girard and Central. About 20 years ago.

  • David Vincent’s Spandex Shirt

    I’m thankful for George Miller making Fury Road.

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      I still need to see that.

      • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

        Yes you do.

      • Ground Beef Booger Riot

        Same here. That fire hurricane scene alone would make it worth my while.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Good call

  • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

    Well I’ve never celebrated this day, and I won’t start now. But I guess there are a few things even in my imaginary existence to be thankful for.
    So, Happy Tom Hanksgiving e’rybody!

  • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

    I actually am thankful for Power Metal. And Wu-Tang.

  • Dubs
    • BEARD-SPLITTER

      Where im from theyre called crawdads

      • Dubs

        Thatmayormaynotbethejoke.wmv

        • BEARD-SPLITTER

          Theyre not bad.

      • Óðinn

        They listen to craw-dad rock.

  • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

    Courtesy of the Judicator-guy.

    Soft Hanis, epic Hansi,
    Bard of Tanelorn.
    Singing Hansi, happy Hansi,
    corn, corn, corn.

    • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

      Corn?

      • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

        Corn.

        • Sir Tapir The Based

          Korn?

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            Oh lord, I hope not.

        • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

          Huh. Interesting. I like the rest. Corn confused me.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            Hansi doesn’t seem confused by that Corn at all. In fact, he looks like he is enjoying himself.

          • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

            Fair enough.

          • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

            Well shit, i didn’t realise there was an accompanying picture. I feel dumb.

    • UPVOTED.

    • MoshOff

      OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON
      THE QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEST
      FOR TAAAAAAAAAANEEEEEEEEEEEELOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORN

      • BEARD-SPLITTER

        AOTY?

      • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

        WEEEEE LOOSE OOUR WAAAAAYY!

      • MoshOff

        OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON
        THE QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEST
        FOR FREEEEESH PIIIIIIIIICKED COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORN*

    • Dubs

      He gets the ear love.

    • Ground Beef Booger Riot

      Have to ask yet again, and I got a new laptop in the meantime (aka my old one fucked up and lost all my files), but what is the name of that Finnish post rock band you showed me?

      • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

        Urmm. Not sure. Need to check some old files.

  • Super Nintendo Chalmers

    That canned chicken is uhhhh, yea, something.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Beautiful

  • Hahaha I worked at hollywood video once upon a time.

    • Ground Beef Booger Riot

      Lol, me and my best friend used to smoke up after work and go to the one up the street from my house back home. They had a closing sale, and VHS tapes were 25 cents each, so us and a few of our friends grabbed (well, stole) a shopping cart and loaded up on them. Also ripped the Pineapple Express poster they had up on the window after they closed. Awwwwwwww, fun times!

  • Dagon

    This is glorious. I’m glad we get to say thanks to our true savior Dave FUcking Grohl, man.

    Also, Carhartt shit made a comeback around 2012 when workwear slowly became cool again. They even collaborated with famous high-end brands such as France’s A.P.C.

    http://c648565.r65.cf2.rackcdn.com/uploads/image/file/66992/8ae7c7cd22f248ffe37a14efb638022b.jpg

    • BEARD-SPLITTER

      Thats a sweet f jacket

      • Dagon

        A.P.C. is trill. Pricy though.

        • more beer

          If you want it to be authentic you buy these types of coats from Alpha Industries.

          • Dagon

            Nice. Never heard of them before. Collabs with Stussy too. I like it a lot.

          • more beer

            They are the contractor who makes them for the military.

      • Dubs

        Bomber jackets are pretty rad. I’d rather wear a pea coat, though.

    • I’ve always thought that those steel toed work boots are the most comfortable thing ever.

      • Dagon

        I’ve always wanted to own a pair of Red Wing boots. Maybe one day if the dollar ever goes down and I’m living somewhere boots are wearable.

        • RJA

          I wear nothing but Red Wing boots – they are indeed something worth wanting.

          • Dagon

            Plus you get factory support and resoling, amirite? IIRC that was one of the best aspects of owning a pair.

          • RJA

            you can take them in anytime (within reason I’m sure) to get oiled and new laces free of charge.

        • Ground Beef Booger Riot

          Lol, red wings. Definition courtesy of UrbanDictionary.com:

          Red Wings

          When you eat a girl out when she is having her period.

          • Dagon

            That is free, my friend.

      • Lacertilian

        Having worked in steel-caps for 15 years, I can say “No, they’re not”.

        • I had to wear them when I worked for UPS and I ended up wearing them all the time because of how comfy they were.

          • Lacertilian

            Why did they make you wear them at UPS?

          • We frequently loaded packages up to and exceeding 100lbs. I guess they just assumed we valued our toes.crazy fuckers right?

          • Lacertilian

            I see.
            Barefoot is comfort to me.

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            #ToesAreForLosers
            #LeverageAndStandingUprightIsOverrated

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            Anyone who wears those in a restaurant kitchen is a god amongst apes, IMHO.

      • Ground Beef Booger Riot

        I had a pair of military issue steel toed boots back in high school. Lol, between that, black dress pants, industrial and metal band shirts, and a black/purple Rasta hat, I got told I dressed like a Black Panther.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    I’m thankful for my job, my family and dad rock

  • CyberneticOrganism

    I’m thankful for Skynet and my neural net processor (a learning computer).

  • JWEG

    Happy Thursday.

    The only reason I’d prefer Thanksgiving in November rather than October is that at least it may act as a (partial potential) stop-gap to the rapid Christmasification of everything everywhere that starts on November 1.

    From what I understand it’s not really an effective barrier there, anymore, either. But at least it’s there. More or less…

  • Sir Tapir The Based
    • Ground Beef Booger Riot

      He definitely looks like he has a sex dungeon in his house, with some Human Centipede style experiments going on.

  • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

    I’m thankful for the shiny white porcelain bowl of doom.

    • Sir Tapir The Based

      Why’s it gotta be white
      #DontBeARacist

      • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

        Because it’s porcelain…

        • Sir Tapir The Based

          Oh so you’re saying porcelain can’t be black? Are you a Grand Wizard?

          • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

            No, that’s not what I’m saying, and I’m a tenth level Druid.

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            Why do dark clothes and white clothes have to be washed separately? Can’t they be washed together in harmony?

            #WashingYourClothesIsRacist

      • BEARD-SPLITTER

        Youre a racist

      • more beer

        Don’t be a SJW.

        • Sir Tapir The Based

          But this is a SJW site.

          • more beer

            So what you are telling me. Is that you really don’t hate the world or humanity. Because if you really did. You wouldn’t care about social justice.

    • Óðinn
      • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

        Matte black porcelain bowl of death.

        • Waynecro

          Only matte finish is real.

  • BEARD-SPLITTER

    Shooting guns, got some Sweetwater Hash-hop and some Bells Consecrator Dopplebock (which i will save bc 16$ a sixpack)

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      Smoking some undesignated nugs and continuing to live dat #RoxyLyfe. Just had the big meal, pies are cooking now.

      • BEARD-SPLITTER

        These dopplebocks are top notch. I made it successfully back home over the mountain half drunk with benzos in my pocket.

        • Ground Beef Booger Riot

          I was about to get fancy tonight and have some Thunderbird, but decided on some more Schlitz.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Black Label FTW

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            Lol, not sure on that one. I drank a shot of hard liquor last night (first time I’ve drank hard liquor in 2 years). Jim Beam, but not sure what kind. It definitely had a cinnamon/Hot Rocks sorta taste.

    • Lacertilian

      Doppelbocks are boobs!

  • Óðinn
  • Óðinn

    ~~~

    • Lacertilian

      Still got some space on that list Odinn!

      • more beer

        Pumpkin Ale is beer. Add more beer!

        • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

          More beer.

          • more beer

            There is never enough!

          • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

            Never!

    • BEARD-SPLITTER

      Always b thankful for agalloch

  • Ground Beef Booger Riot

    Lol, Blockbuster and America Online are still around?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TrPwOrf4sM

  • Max

    Okay, I’m not au fait with this Thanksgiving caper and a little late to the comment party, but here goes. I’d like to give thanks for:

    1) Metal blogs that imbue a real sense of cameraderie, validation and ongoing musical discovery.

    2) Redheads.

    3) Brunettes.

    4) Blondes.

    (Not meaning to imply some sort of preference with the order of items 2-4. I love them all.)

    5) Looney Tunes cartoons and all The Simpsons seasons up to and including the late ’90s.

    6) Star Wars episodes IV-VI and hopefully beyond.

    7) Borat.

    8) Earache Records ’88-’95

    9) My health.

    10)The proliferation of low-cost digital audio recording and processing systems.

    11) YouTube.

    12) Black Sabbath for inventing heavy metal.

    13) Judas Priest for making use of that invention with some helpful modifications and turbo-charging.

    14) Cats. Especially black-and-white ones, which are the coolest.

    I have much to be thankful for in my life, but that’ll do for now.

    • more beer

      #’s 2 thru 3 for the win.

    • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

      LOONEY TUNES!
      And 12&13, excellent.

      All of it is good

    • Dubs

      I think you forgot a certain someone with the initials D.G.

    • BEARD-SPLITTER

      Redheads over all.

      • Max

        If I HAD to choose, probably yes. BUT I DON’T WANNA CHOOZE!

    • Ground Beef Booger Riot

      Lol, I saw Borat in theaters. Pretty much anything Sasha Cohen does is genius, including his very underrated performance in ‘Hugo’.

      “Awwwwwwwwwwwww, America! Built by the blacks and owned by the Chinese!” – The Dictator

      • Max

        He is THE comic genius. His antics are a favourite part of my brain.

        • Ground Beef Booger Riot

          Ever seen ‘Hugo’?

          • Max

            Can’t say I have…It’s a kid’s film, isn’t it?

          • there are kids in it, but it’ll appeal to all ages. it was also shot natively in 3D and makes good use of the medium… if you’re into that sort of thing

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            Sorta, but it’s not a G-rated Disney sorta thing. It’s Scorsese’s only kid-oreiented film, and pretty surreal overall..

  • tigeraid

    This list includes Power Metal. It is a good list.

    Happy one-month-late-Thanksgiving to my ‘Murrican brothers.

  • Ground Beef Booger Riot

    Sooooooooooooo, what’s everyone’s top 10 for the year so far? Figuring out my list.

    • BEARD-SPLITTER

      Still working

      • BEARD-SPLITTER

        Will include Mgla, Derpheaven, blind Guardian & liturgy,

        • Ground Beef Booger Riot

          I actually really like the new Deafheaven. Much more black metal than ‘Sunbather’, which to me sounded like yet another My Bloody Valentine ripoff with black metal vocals.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Perhaps a spot for Sannhet, kamelot, and then contenders for trees n shit, like Alda, etc

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            Gah, the new Kamelot is fucking awful!

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Shrugs

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            I much prefer their old stuff, especially ‘Epica’.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wRreoNRGwk

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Ive been a fan for at least as long as that album, this is as return to form as you could get since before Ghost Opera. Low hanging fruit can still be the sweetest

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            I dunno, the new one was very bland and sounded way too top 40 for my tastes. Call me a stick in the mud, but without Roy Kahn, there is no Kamelot. The new singer doesn’t have anywhere near the range or emotion he has.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Roy Kahn is a fucking christian dickhead now. No more support. Blame god for that one

            The new guy isnt that bad. Still better than Tetragrammacide.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Im also thinkin that Tempel should have a spot

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            Didn’t know that about Roy. Last I heard, he went back to Norway to take care of his mom, and complained about exhaustion from touring. Please tell me he didn’t go all born again a la Blackie Lawless or Dave Mustaine.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Ill let you google

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            Bah, too much effort. Hook a brotha up with some articles on the subject.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            This image should be enough
            http://i44.tinypic.com/i5u23b.jpg

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            All Kamelot is fucking awful

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            Overall, yeah. But they definitely have some awesome songs here and there.

      • Ground Beef Booger Riot

        So far, Carly Ray Jepson, Midnight Odyssey, Angra (of course), She Past Away, Armored Saint and Atomicide are in the top running for me. So far, the new Enya stuff is awesome so far, so there’s another contender.

        • Sir Tapir The Based

          wtf

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            Name me your top 10, then!

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Not yet man, it’s ain’t time for that

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            I think I accidently asked Paddlin’ Rights about this, but what was the name of that Finnish post-punk band you showed me?

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Kesä

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            Feyur takk, Mr. Tapir! I lost the files, since my last laptop broke down.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Pro tip: don’t break your laptop

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            Didn’t break it. The motherboard got fried, and nothing I can really do about that. Replacing the motherboard is almost like replacing the whole computer.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            That’s what everyone says.

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            Nah, that was what happened. Even my roomie, who works as an electrician, and used to do computer networking, couldn’t do shit with it. Once you can’t even get a charge on the computer, it’s pretty much over with.

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            Link me to some of their videos, please. Looking them up on Youtube, and ‘Kesa’ is giving me tons of results and nothing about them.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Us Finns have to do everything for you lazy Americanz.https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=f08Sp9I36lw

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot
        • i’ve got that CRJ but hasn’t spun it nearly enough. time to get on it McN!

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            Yep! It’s a dreampop masterpiece!

    • Dubs

      You know we’re going to be running a whole bunch of lists later this year, right?

    • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

      Still waiting to hear the new Baroness.

      • Ground Beef Booger Riot

        They’re decent, but that song Joe posted was extreme lolbuttzification.

        • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

          Aw man…

    • Sir Tapir The Based

      My list is already quite complete. Probably won’t be changing anymore.

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      Unless the new Purson and/or Blood Ceremony discs drop in December, I think my list is pretty much sorted.

      • Ground Beef Booger Riot

        I think this might be my number one pick. I think I’ve sorted my list, but there’s some strong contenders.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6DoLpF1xyQ

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          A little too ethereal and shoe-gazey for my blood.

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            Lol, not everything has to be dark, filthy and brutal! *putting myself in the shame box*

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            If I want ethereal and shoe gazey, I’ll just put on Cocteau Twins.

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            Nothing wrong with that!

          • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

            Yes it does…
            *Slams shame box shut*

            -says the guy waiting on the new Baroness

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            So says the guy who listens to power metal and synthpop, lol. Buuuuuuuuut:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-dZUZ17Dtg

          • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

            Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            Pretty much anything on Metal On Metal Records rules, especially if you like straight up old school metal.

          • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

            And that I do. Metal on Metal is bad ass.

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            Sign up for their newsletter. They do giveaways through those here and there. Got a sweet comp for free last year from them.

          • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

            I can’t remember if i am already or not, i will check

          • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

            I was following them on Bandcamp, just signed up for the newsletter. Thanks for the heads up.

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot
          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Keeping in mind you’re talking to someone who just finished listening to Yes, not exactly filthy and brutal music.

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            Yes is awesome!

  • J.R.™

    “Heartily keked” at:

    Thanks Jelly
    doozie of a twosie
    Thanks

    THANKS!

  • KJM, Shake Zula

    HAPPY DANKSGIVING!!

  • KJM, Shake Zula
    • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

      Starting out the morning right!
      https://youtu.be/kHl6sDLX8tQ

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        They’re not my favorite band, but Jon Anderson might be my favorite singer.

        • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

          His voice is just perfect, especially on their early works. He is definitely in my top 5, the band is probably in the 10-15 range.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Saw them on the 1991 Union tour with the 8 piece lineup.

          • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

            Nice! How was it?

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Excellent show. Concerts like that are probably why I don’t really impress easily. When you’ve seen guitarists like Iommi, Fripp, Belew, Howe, and Reid not to mention so many others, where do you really go from there to find something just as amazing?

          • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

            Damn that’s awesome, you really can’t match performers at that level. Consider me jealous.

          • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

            I’m spending the morning watching R40, a concert I was privileged to witness.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Yep, saw that back in June.

  • Waynecro

    A few things I’m thankful for:

    1. Parents who take me to a metal show the night before Thanksgiving.

    2. My mom getting drunk on beer with an 11 percent alcohol content and asking the merch girls at the show “Who are you girls again?” about ten times while I was buying a Eukaryst shirt.

    3. The guys in Desecrate rocking their fucking hearts out even though 80 percent of the crowd went home before they played.

    4. The new Nylithia album for cardio sessions.

    5. Maintaining my cut diet even on Thanksgiving so I don’t have to shoot a vial of insulin to compensate for gluttony.

    6. Postworkout protein shakes made with lite eggnog.

    7. The Xbox One my family got me for living another year. My gamertag is MorbMisanthrope. I’ll be playing Call of Duty: Black Ops 3 all the time. Come at me, bros.

  • Ground Beef Booger Riot

    All the coveralls need is a Devo hat to go with them: