Don’t Write Mean Things About Kings of Leon


Their feelings are very, very sensitive.

The big media news story this week involved MTV News firing their talented writing staff so the company could focus on generating more easily monetizable video content rather than creating short and long-form written pieces. This Spin article by Jordan Sargent does an excellent job of explaining the full story and showing how your corporate digital media sausage is made. The entire article is great, but one detail stuck out to me more than any other.

Sargent reports that in 2016 an MTV News writer rubbed popular American rock band Kings of Leon the wrong way by publishing a brief, lightly critical piece about the band’s new single and lamenting the artistic direction the band had pursued. In response, Kings of Leon pitched a fucking fit with their team and demanded that the offending article be deleted.

…the band became aware of the article and threatened to remove itself from the MTV Europe Music Awards. The complaint over the article went straight to executive-level corporate management, and an agreement was reached that MTV News would, at least temporarily, cease the publication of reviews under 500 words. This was because executives at MTV associated those kinds of blog posts with snarkiness and criticism, both of which were deemed detrimental to the network’s broader ability to work with artists who may be the subjects of such posts.

Kings of Leon were not alone in using their industry clout to silence mild criticism of the outlet. Chance the Rapper and DJ Khaled also reportedly demanded that MTV offer them glowing coverage or suffer consequences. It’s a sad indictment of corporate media that in 2017 artists are able to throw their weight around to avoid being told that their shit may, in fact, stink.

Thankfully, the internet is rife with independent media channels that don’t have to comply with the childish demands of emotionally stunted manchildren. Because there are no financial interests involved, a smaller outlet is free to write open and honest music criticism. For example, Kings of Leon is a band that started their career as a Joe Dirt ripoff of The Strokes before morphing into a white trash ripoff of U2 and eventually becoming their current incarnation of audio saltine crackers designed to be grey, inoffensive radio fodder. The most interesting thing the band ever did was release a hilariously overpriced fashion line that included a $300 fedora, a $100 bandana, and a silver coke spoon necklace. The band reached a level of uncomfortable ubiquity by virtue of legions of post 2000s music writers desperately trying to make this band a thing and the strength of one single that was best performed as a “Shreds” video.

It’s a terrible shame that any band, especially one as utterly inconsequential as Kings of Leon, is able to silence honest criticism by throwing a tantrum. Fortunately, independent media is still free to speak honestly. And honestly, fuck Kings of Leon.


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  • Fuck video content, fuck MTV, and fuck the Kings of Leon, whatever the fuck they sound like.

    $300 fedora though? Sign me up, that’d go great with my trenchcoat.

    • Video content fucking sucks. I don’t want to watch a five minute video to get info I could read in 30 seconds.

      • Jack Bauer

        Honestly even music videos suck these days. Bands just record themselves live and then say look we made a music video!

        • Ted Nü-Djent ™

          The budgets aren’t what they used to be and TV isn’t the vehicle to showcase your bands sweet new jams anymore which is what music videos were originally for.

        • GoatForest

          Behemoth made a really cool video for “Blow Your Trumpet, Gabriel “…

    • more beer

      Silver coke spoon necklace 1977 Studio 54 accessories. .

  • Jack Bauer
  • Lacertilian
  • Joaquin Stick

    I love the Shreds videos. The Beach Boys one might be my favorite though.

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      This is good content.

      • JJD plz! you’re making me cry, the Beach Bois are great

        • Eliza

          I know they’re an important band, but I don’t exactly know why.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          I love them too. Pet Sounds is the best album ever.

    • Eliza

      This is hilarious and I don’t even know how the original song goes.

    • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

      How about a shred video that is actually authentic (yes, she sucks this bad)

      • Joaquin Stick

        Oh my god. This is hilarious. She has no business having that thing around her neck.

        • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

          The fact that there are brilliant guitar players out there playing crappy $200 LTDs and Deans while this woman gets an expensive Rickenbacker just to bullshit her way through songs is particularly insulting

    • Guppusmaximus

      This one trolled me hard when I first saw it. Spot on m/ m/


    Welcome to the United States of Conservative Snowflakes.

    • more beer

      It’s all about the ratings.

    • AndySynn

      I quite like the term “Broflakes”.

  • RJA

    “Joe Dirt ripoff of The Strokes”
    Trademark that right now Joe – genius. That first record was
    fairly enjoyable I thought.

  • Kings of Leon:
    2003 – Youth & Young Manhood: >>>
    2004 – Aha Shake Hearbreak: >>>>
    2007 – Because of the Times: >>>
    after that it’s all garbage. ONCE AGAIN WE’VE BEEN SIGNIFICANT OTHER’D!!!
    …………………Followills did 9/11…………………….

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      All Kings Of Leon is garbage. Same with any band that sounds like them.

      • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

        All bands are garbage. Same with any band that sounds like them.

      • that’s fair!

    • Joaquin Stick

      Can’t say I know their discography that well, but there is one song after that that I kinda like, but it’s so unlike the rest of their music that it’s kinda frustrating. Make more of this, less of SexHoleOnFire.

    • Dagon

      I’m with you until Aha Shake. Because of the Times was the beginning of the end.

  • KOL are a Rooney ripoff that somehow keep getting top billing at American outdoor music festivals. Fuck KOL in their goat asses.

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    The first couple of Kings of Leon albums were above average mid 00’s NME fodder, but their decision to focus on the anthemic side of things hurt them, as even from the best bands many anthemic tunes actually sound like farts.

  • OldMetalHead

    What is it with people that think that their work is above criticism? If you don’t want to be criticized, then don’t create work for public consumption. And the media companies that bow to this kind of pressure are even worse.

  • Eliza

    Before reading this, I didn’t care at all about Kings of Leon. Now, I still don’t care about them, but I know I never will.

  • Never heard of this band and I intend to keep it that way. In the words of Todd Jones, they seem like a bunch of “Mark Ass Bitches!”.

    • more beer

      Everyone one of them does have a very punchable face though.

    • Lacertilian

      You’ve almost certainly heard the syphilis song somewhere along your travels, even if just obliviously while at some shops or wherever generic garbage radio is played on loop

      • That is a possibility, but it is likely just as easily forgotten the moment I step into my car and kick out the jams.

  • Depechemodeisgangsta

    All that i remember about this band is that song on Radio sex on fire, but word association with band is when a bird poop into the bass player mouth.

    • Eliza

      The only song of KoL’s I hear on the radio from time to time is Use Somebody, which annoys me greatly due to the lead vocalist’s grating voice.

      • Depechemodeisgangsta

        Oh yea i totally forgot it was the same band, i used to worked on a store, so i would always put a station that played music from 80’s-90’s-2000’s and that song would come up.

  • Pierre Generic

    Like Cartman said about Jimmy Buffet, only frat guys and drunk chicks from the south like Kings Of Leon.

  • Óðinn

    If you write “mean things about King of Leon” three times, they appear right behind you. And that’s why I don’t write mean things about Kings of Leon.

    • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

      Just write two mean things about KoL and you’ll be ok

      • Óðinn


  • Óðinn
    • The Arm(KJM)

      Malmsteen isn’t fit to play Lucille.

      • PostBlackenedWhaleGaze

        I can’t imagine what Lucille would sound like through 8 cranked Marshall’s. Probably shit.

      • Óðinn

        Good point.

  • Dagon

    I used to like the Joe Dirt version of The Strokes of the first two albums.

    Dagon out. *mic drop*