DISCHARGE is Coming to a Walmart Near You!

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In a turn so absurd that I can scarcely believe it myself, anarchist punk legends Discharge appear to have official merch available for sale via Earth-destroying corporate behemoth Walmart.

You don’t believe me. I don’t blame you. How could the same band that wrote the lyrics “I won’t subscribe to the system” allow their merch to be sold through Walmart, the official retailer of The System? I dunno, but it happened.

discharge walmart

 

Rockabilia, venerable Internet merch source, appears to have inked a deal with the Bentonville, Arkansas-based global mega-retailer to hawk their wares through Walmart’s virtual warehouse. The result? These Things That Should Not Be. You can now purchase bags of charcoal, Funyuns, and your favorite punk records all in one convenient location.

walmart punk records

Walmart, like all brick and mortar retailers, is currently getting their dick stomped in as consumers choose to spend a greater share of their hard-earned dollars online. It only makes sense that Walmart would expand their long-tail strategy by targeting aged punks and metalheads with their online presence. The only casualty here is ideology, a long foregone conclusion, as the current era of capitalism slowly marches to a watery grave.

Besides, it’s not like Discharge wouldn’t try to sell-out on their own.


h/t to my good buddy Christkiller Rodriguez

  • New album rulez.

  • Eliza

    I definitely don’t know much about punk, but I think the song at the bottom is not actually punk. Just a thought.

    • Hence the sarcastic “Besides, it’s not like Discharge wouldn’t try to sell-out on their own.” 😉

      • Eliza

        It’s an alright speed metal song though.

        • Do not mock us

          • Eliza

            It’s not that bad. The vocals are kinda annoying, but the guitar work is ok. It’s not a particularly good song, but it’s not atrocious either.

  • buyer beware! (wtf is he doing with the sleeves still on anywayz?)

    • MachoMadness5000

      Band shirts are made out of potato sacks.

  • Dubbbz

    Buy a Discharge tee, some $9 jeans to turn into jorts, and a box of wine. You’re in business for summer.

    • I always forget that grocery stores sell alcohol in other states. In PA, that’s not a thing. We have beer distributors and spirit stores.

      • Dubbbz

        The city I live in didn’t sell liquor within city limits until like 2009, I think. You could only get booze at bars or by driving outside the county lines to the “strip.” Interestingly, it was the liquor companies on the strip that resisted the legislation to make the city wet the hardest.

        • Stanley

          Surprisingly, regulation is what the big boys love as it creates barriers to entry. Large companies can afford the costs of compliance while the innovators, start ups and entrepreneurs are crippled by it.

          • Dubbbz

            Yep. All those big liquor stores on the former strip are desolate now.

        • Liqueur laws are weird. You can’t leave the 6 pack shop with more than 144 fluid ounces of booze but you can ride a motorcycle with no helmet. PA is odd.

          • Joaquin Stick

            I was in PA for two nights a few years ago, and just wanted a few beers for my hotel room. I ended up having to buy a 30 pack of like shock top or some shit because the distro store I found had very little choice, and 30 was the smallest purchase I could make. PA is odd indeed.

          • Yup, beer distributors only sell cases of beer. No 6 packs, you have to go to an actual six pack shop for six packs.

          • Joaquin Stick

            I found that out the next day when I was in a bar and they were selling stuff to go. I never thought for a minute that buying beer to go from a bar was the other option I had.

          • Grandpa’s Magic Fleshlight

            And don’t forget that insane soda tax you guys just got hit with. Another 13% tax for any soda, or fruit drinks that aren’t 100% fruit (which is fuck near non-existent unless you’re willing to cough up some major cash)

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            I could buy a pallet of beer if I wanted to here

        • Abradolf Lincler

          NC has crazy alcohol laws. ABC stores are state run liquor stores, only open 6 days a week. Beer and wine you can buy at grocery store (not after 2am, any day, and not before noon on Sundays(thanks, christians)). On top of this, many counties in the mountains are dry and, like you said, you have to go to the next town over to buy liquor.

          • Waynecro

            Back when I was an alcoholic, I had to spend a weekend in Poughkeepsie, New York, in the middle of nowhere. Because of nonsensical liquor laws, the only place I could buy booze was at some diner. I must have spent $150 on watered-down Long Island ice teas trying to stave off the shakes.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            thats crazy, i thought bars in NY stayed open wayyyyyyy later than NC

          • Waynecro

            Maybe in the city, but we were out in the middle of nowhere. There weren’t any bars that I was aware of–just the diner. There was at least one liquor store, but they couldn’t sell me whiskey while I was there because of alcohol laws. It was absurd.

          • more beer

            They do until 4 am.

          • more beer

            You can buy alcohol until 4 in the morning there. Who ever told you that was full of shit.

          • Waynecro

            This was more than twelve years ago. It could have had something to do with Sunday–a wacky blue law or some shit.

          • more beer

            You only can’t buy liquor between 4am Sunday morning until noon. They got rid of the blue laws way more than 12 years ago.

          • Waynecro

            Well, no one would sell me booze, and I was getting the shakes bad. I was about to break into the Culinary Institute of America to steal the cooking liquors.

          • more beer

            Doesn’t make sense. I lived there for 36 years. Never had a problem. Even tn the 8 hours the actually can’t sell beer.

          • Grandpa’s Magic Fleshlight

            Same here, but the cut off time for alcohol sales is midnight, at least around this area. Probably different over in Virginia Beach or Richmond.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            makes sense

      • Stockhausen

        The only beers you can get in grocery stores in OK are 3.2 and below. So, dirty water. And liquor stores can only sell beer at room temperature. A couple laws just went through to change all that though, and I’m excited.

        • I managed to make myself sick drinking your 3.2% beers at a bachelor party in Thackerville, OK. Still not sure how that happened.

          • Joaquin Stick

            DId you drown or something?

          • his body got confused. it wasn’t sure if it was being dehydrated or super hydrated and shut down.

        • Grandpa’s Magic Fleshlight

          You can get beer and wine here in VA at the grocery stores, but everything else you have to get at the ABC stores, which have the most fucking awkward business hours on Earth.

      • RJA

        I had a buddy who lived in PA – used to have to go to Shangy’s Beer Heaven (I think it was called) to buy any decent beer.

      • more beer

        They only sell 3.5 beer in supermarkets here.

      • Ayreonaut

        Yeah every time I visit PA I try to get a case of beer from the gas station and I get wierd looks. I love being in upstate ny I can buy beer anywhere

      • Dubbbz

        MAKE NASCAR DANGEROUS AGAIN

        • Maybe Dale’s not the best posterchild for that.

          • Dubbbz

            Dale Jr. is the chosen one.

          • Jacquelinedlaird1

            <.
            ✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★::::::!bg1023mm:….,

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          Too soon.

  • Abradolf Lincler

    so, now we have to question the veracity of anyone wearing a discharge shirt.

    this is why im glad i listen to black metal. dont see Walmart selling Mutiilation shirts any time soon

  • Max

    I actually used to have a Grave New World LP. It was just about one of the perplexingly worst albums I’ve ever heard in the punk/metal/heavier-rock milieu. Easily hardcore’s equivalent of Cold Lake or something in terms of its reception.

    • more beer

      That is the album they were touring for, when I saw them get chased off the stage in fear for the lives.

  • 365ChaosRiddenDays

    They will come near to a Walmart to drop this fucking…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DY_8qghAuQ4

  • I think this is the most punk thing that happened this year.

    Discharge is going to infiltrate corporate America and blast them with crust anarchy. The new album is p cool.

    Also, I hope Wal Mart broke up, so they can come to Venezuela so I can enjoy a little of the capitalism nectar.

  • According to my neighbors, before the Walmart in town was built on the hill above the community, no one had flooding in their basements because the land mass served as a buffer. Now the water flows downhill into the community and into people’s basements. Thanks Walmart for continuing to find new ways to ruin every area where your stores are built.

    • Eliza

      Are there any advantages to Walmart? Everything I’ve heard about them makes them seem like genuinely evil corporation.

      • Abradolf Lincler

        walmart is the largest employer in america

        • Eliza

          I understand why it’s still going then. Isn’t there any competition?

          • Abradolf Lincler

            none (other than online retailers, like the post talks about)

        • Grandpa’s Magic Fleshlight

          I thought drugs were the largest employer in America.

          • more beer

            That’s the largest off the books employer.

      • Dubbbz

        They’re really cheap, but the reason they’re cheap is because they don’t pay employees well.

        • Abradolf Lincler

          ironically, Walmart’s slogan used to be “Made in America”

          • Dubbbz

            During the last Olympics, there was an advertisement that said they were opening a ton of new factories to create more American manufacturing jobs. I don’t know if that ever happened.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            if they did i didnt hear anythimg about it. unless, if by American, they meant Chinese or Malaysian.

            walmart doesnt even make anything, so im not sure how they would build factories.

          • Joaquin Stick

            Maybe factories to build more Walmarts? Oh God. They are working on a self-reproduction capitalism machine. We’re doomed.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            *Monopolism machine

          • Xinen

            I think they’re twisting the story to build a better image. At a recent employee survey meeting that was full of inspirational stuff like this where they pat their own backs, they showed how they were partly responsible for getting Emerson factories built up in the south-east US providing jobs and whatnot for unemployed and low-income communities. The tagline was that finally the US has a tv being made here again.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            one of the cheapest brands of TV (though reliable, i have owned one for years)

          • Xinen

            Haha totally. They in turn get to buy them in bulk and sell at lower prices, partially why they have their own warehouses, it lowers the cost of goods.

          • more beer

            Here is a fun fact for you. A walmart Super Center. Costs 10 million dollars. Once they break ground on the site. That store must open 6 months to the day of the start of building. I used to run an irrigation and landscaping crew. That did nothing but Walmarts. This is how I know this.

        • Eliza

          I figured they’d treat their employees badly.

          • Dubbbz

            Well, it’s one of the ways they cut costs. Another is by not giving employees full-time so they don’t have to provide benefits.

          • The American taxpayer gets to foot the bill for government assistance to underpaid Walmart employees. The system works.

          • Joaquin Stick

            Don’t talk shit about the free market. /s

          • Praise be to the free market, and its infallible, invisible hand.

          • Eliza

            I can’t tell why anyone would want to work there.

          • Dubbbz

            Sometimes there isn’t anywhere else to work :/

            Happy story time. There was this rail-thin lady who was a cashier at Wal-Mart for a while. She often looked sickly, like she didn’t make enough to live on, but she was good at her job. She now got a job at the United store close to my apartment and looks much healthier and happier.

          • Eliza

            That’s good to know. The way you described that lady reminds me of the workers at my local McDonald’s. They all look so done with life. Sometimes though, there are no other job options out there.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Agreed. It’s why I have two jobs, one of which I hate.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            I’m sorry that Romania has a local McDonalds

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Wait, Eliza is from Romania? How did I not know this?

          • Eliza

            I don’t know how you missed that.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I thought you were from some other European country.

          • Eliza

            XD For example?

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Ukraine or possibly Czech Repbulic.

          • Eliza

            I’ve never even left Romania in my entire life.

          • Eliza

            And it’s usually pretty crowded too. I don’t get it. To me, McDonald’s food has no taste and is only good to fill up your stomach when you’re hungry and there is no other option available. The problem is that there are plenty of better restaurants to choose from in my town, but there are people who will only choose McDonald’s. Their prices are not even that low or anything.

          • Xinen

            At store level I had little choice the first time. Small town syndrome and they did pay over the minimum, then I left the state and when I moved back I got rehired. My objective was to transfer out to a distribution center but that road was horrible. So many managers tried to keep me back, but some really good ones helped get me out to a DC and it was totally worth it. The atmosphere is worlds apart and the pay is great.

          • Eliza

            I’m glad you found a better place to work.

          • Grandpa’s Magic Fleshlight

            And then the benefits end up getting paid for by the state. Somewhere around 33% of all SNAP (aka food stamps) benefits are for Walmart workers, so it does put a huge strain on the whole thing.

          • Hordak

            “While it’s unclear how many of Walmart’s workers are on food stamps, as many as 15 percent of the company’s employees in Ohio are. ”

            source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/09/walmart-workers-food-stamps_n_5092262.html

            As a nationally representative state, this just highlights the issue in one state, but your ascertation that walmart employees, (which are a fraction of all those living below federal poverty levels) get a THIRD of all SNAP benefits is nationwide is way off.

          • Grandpa’s Magic Fleshlight

            And you are correct, my calculations were a bit off. 18%, which is still a pretty sizeable chunk of the overall EBT handouts.

            http://www.forbes.com/sites/clareoconnor/2014/04/15/report-walmart-workers-cost-taxpayers-6-2-billion-in-public-assistance/#7f37a6927cd8

            PS, gotta wonder if you named yourself after the She-Ra villain, or if you’re with the band Hordak.

        • Or maintain their stores. Every Walmart I’ve ever been to is some combination of dirty and poorly organized shelves with items missing or strewn about.

          • Dubbbz

            I’ve actually noticed some variety in that depending on the side of town you’re in. The Wal-Mart in the richer region that’s rapidly growing here is actually pretty nice, comparatively.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            there are 2 Walmarts about 5 miles from each other where i am. One is nice, one is super ghetto.

          • Dubbbz

            Yep. They seem to fit the income level of the area.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            I always go to the ghetto Walmart and the ghetto Ingles

          • Grandpa’s Magic Fleshlight

            There’s 3 here within a 10 mile radius, though I think the smaller one got shut down. As far as I know, I think Hampton only has one. Not quite sure what any of those are like, since I stopped shopping at Walmart around 2002.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            if we’re talking radius, theres probably 10 walmarts in 20 or 30 miles

          • MachoMadness5000

            If it’s a 24 hour Wal Mart it is a piece of shit I’ve noticed.

        • more beer

          That and almost everything they sell. Is made in China.

      • I make a point to not shop there. Protesting with your wallet is the best way to make an impact.

        • Eliza

          True.

      • Grandpa’s Magic Fleshlight

        Because they are. This one best describes and details just how destructive they actually are:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXmnBbUjsPs

        • Eliza

          The video is very informative.

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      There’s one Walmart near me and it’s about 20 minutes away. It’s not bad but I don’t like how they treat their employees.

      • The fact that their family is worth almost 40% of the nation’s wealth should concern you.

  • What is everyones favorite Discharge worship band?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9ziueOa6Is

  • Stockhausen

    Man, it looks like Discharge wasted their time, and became another casualty of society. They sure fell in line, and became a victim of our conformity.

    • Dubbbz

      You listen to Jimmy Eat World.

      • MachoMadness5000

        Don’t we all?

        • I’ve actually never heard them before. I may have though, not intentionally.

          • your age provides many benefits, and this is one of them.
            just seeing that band name, has put a terrible, terrible song in my head.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            They play that song at my one job. I don’t enjoy it but compared to everything else they play it’s a breath of fresh air.

        • I know I sure do. It takes my pain away.

          • Dubbbz

            Everything will be just fine, Ann.

          • brokensnow

            but not the Crimson and clover.

        • Dubbbz

          If you watched Fuse in the early aughts, you certainly did.

          • MachoMadness5000

            Oh lord, those Fuse days… Jimmy Eat World, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, AFI, and Coheed.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            OOH YEAAAAAHHHHHHH!

          • MachoMadness5000

            The tower of power!! Too sweet to be sour!! OooohhhHHhhhh YYyyyeeeEEaaaAAhhHHh!!!!

          • tigeraid

            CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM OF THE CROP

          • brokensnow

            ….Treble charger, serial joe, fly banger….sorry, much music moment.

          • Grandpa’s Magic Fleshlight

            I kinda liked them. No shame here.

        • SMASH & FLUSH JIMMY EAT WORLD!!!

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          They’re not my thing.

          • MachoMadness5000

            If they were your thing you wouldn’t be Jim Duggan.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Exactly tough guy! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

          • MachoMadness5000

            YES.

        • Grandpa’s Magic Fleshlight

          I like ’em. Beats anything Darkthrone ever did.

  • Hey, do me a favor and share this post on social media. Lizard bro and I have a bet about how many page views this one is gonna get.

    • all you people on Google+, hit that red button plz. no, i don’t know what it means or what it does either… but i bet it’s super cool!

    • Lacertilian

      ..

  • Count_Breznak

    Walmart-free country here.

  • brokensnow

    Gotta pay the bills. Sponsership is the future of the music industry.

  • Guacamole Jim

    I often discharge in Wal-Mart.

    • Guppusmaximus

      How many pulls does that equate to?

      • Grandpa’s Magic Fleshlight

        More like “how many pushes”, if ya know what I mean.

    • Grandpa’s Magic Fleshlight

      Many of their customers just do that in the middle of the aisles, if the news and People Of Walmart are any indication.

  • Grandpa’s Magic Fleshlight

    Gahhhhhhh, the Exploited is on there too! Pretty sure it’s the label’s doing, otherwise Wattie would be having another heart attack right now. Right now, I’m feeling conflicted about ever wearing my Exploited shirt ever again! (no, not really. Or at all)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxrolYt2j18

  • more beer

    DIscharge sold out in the mid 80’s. This should not be a surprise.

    • Grandpa’s Magic Fleshlight

      How so? Not arguing your point, but not really familiar with their history.

      • more beer

        They turned into a glam metal band. Abandoning their punk rock roots.

        • Grandpa’s Magic Fleshlight

          Oh. that I didn’t know.

  • Jacquelinedlaird1

    <.
    ✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★:✹★::::::!bg1024mm:….,….

  • Óðinn

    Bet they won’t be the only “discharge” in Walmart…

    https://youtu.be/Ji-cT58rgNc

    #PeopleOfWalmart