Dev – Honey Dip: A Video Breakdown

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Sup bros? Firstly, I would like to extend a warm thank-you to esteemed TOH author 365 Days of Horror for letting me jack his post-format and for helping me give some commentary on a non-metal music video! Y’all are getting two authors for the price of one in the spirit of unnecessary consumerism that is the holidays! Paris Hilton will be color coded in red, and 365 Days of Horror in green. I chose these colors because they are the colors of Christmas, my favorite holiday. And because fuck you. That’s why.

I love Metal just as much as the next Toilet Dweller, but listening to Metal 24/7 can be extremely exhausting. To counter the soul-crushing, life-hating Metal I listen to, I spin a lot of Slutwave to keep things fresh. You cannot have darkness without light, there needs to be a Ying to a Yang, and all of that horseshit. Besides, when you find yourself rockin’ around with fly cuties it may be a good idea to have music other than Addicted to Vaginal Skin by Cannibal Corpse. That shit just ain’t gonna cut it. At any rate, The video that 365 Days of Horror and I are going to be commenting on today comes from the new EP, Bittersweet July, from none other than one of my favorite Slutwave artists: Dev. Specifically, the video for her new single Honey Dip.

Honey Cut

Not this kind of Honey Dip

 

According to the premier release on Billboard.com, this music video was directed by female rapper extraordinaire Kreayshawn. No, not the female rapper that looks like a pack of Kraft Singles. I believe that video direction and production may be a better career choice for Kreay over just being a musician. Kreay has been in the game for a long time, has been all DIY from her beginning, and has an extremely unique artistic aesthetic that I can’t quite put my finger on. Whatever it is, it shines through in this video and really adds to the smoothness of this track. So, without further ado, let’s make like a shitty So-Cal Deathcore band and breakdown!

I stopped paying attention to pop music/pop culture somewhere around high school and have been blissfully unaware ever since. I couldn’t name 2 Kanye West songs, I don’t know the difference between Kedollarsignha and Jessie J, and I thought Ariana Grande was a new drink at Starbucks. So it goes without saying that I have no idea who Dev is. I’m going into this breakdown with a mind free of any notions or preconceptions. This is the breakdown for the pop outsiders. Let’s do this thing.

0:01: Ew. Who wears cheetah?

0:04: The subliminal messaging is working. I really want honey now.

0:06: Ok. Now we have a good idea of who the artist is, who the director is, and what Dev’s bedroom looks like.

0:06: Doesn’t work so much with Kreayshawn.

0:08: Just stick a penis in a vagina. Cut out the bullshit.

0:08: I’m 100% the main beat of this song was straight up jacked from Gusty Glade in Donkey Kong Country 2. Which makes sense because that game has an unreal soundtrack. Seriously. Take a page out of zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz’s book and listen to these two videos at the same time.

0:13: Oh hai, Pink! We’ve missed you.

0:17- We see Dev on her bed flipping through unnamed fashion magazines. Riveting stuff!

0:21: HELLO!

0:22: Now, Dev is doing the same thing she was before except in just a bra. Minds have are now baffled and erections have been erected.

0:24: Dev, coming to an ImageFap gallery near you.

0:24: Dev has decided to take a break from the magazines to take some shirtless selfies. To be fair, if you were as hot as Dev you’d probably be doing the same thing.

0:28: Instead wearing that pink hat, that guy should just wear a shirt that says “Punch me as hard as you can.”

0:28: Dev has left her room and is now singing to some apathetic dude wearing a purple hat in a garden. Kreayshawn and Dev designed this video to take aspects from Dev’s daily life. Apparently this is how she gets her kicks. Who knew? 365 Days of Horror’s take on the hat could not be more correct.

0:30: Hey bb, nice pearl necklace. How would you like… No. I’m not going to make that joke. It’s way too fuckin’ easy.

0:40: Yes, Dev. It’s called a phone. Can you say ‘phone’? F-oh-n. Good!

0:54: See, she’s a real musician. She can snap and everything.

1:03: She’s not looking at stroke mags. I know, I’m bummed too.

1:14: KKK Grand Wizards have rooms that aren’t as white as this.

1:18: If a woman ever takes you to a secluded field and says “Honey dip” to you, run. Run fast and don’t look back.

1:24: Many words can be used to describe Dev. “Street” isn’t one of them. Maybe “Cul de Sac”. Maybe.

1:30: “People do one way. I can do four. When they do less, I can do more.” I’m sure Kerry King has said this exact same thing about Burger King’s Triple Whopper Sandwich Meal.

1:33: Dev just gave the Four Horseman sign. WOOOOOOOOO!

1:49: No need to dance when you can just lay in bed.

1:54: I can’t help but imagine that Dev’s breath smells like Sweet n’ Sour chicken in this scene. Poor purple-hatted man.

1:55: She’s really grabbing Rob Dyrdek’s face. Did he eat something that fell on the floor?

2:00: Subliminal meat!

2:01: I really can’t get over how hot Dev is in this scene. There’s something about that androgynous 90’s Winona Ryder look that just drives me wild. Dev, if you’re into part-time metal bloggers hmu bb <3

2:07: Look at my terrible tattoos!

2:16: BBQ Pitmaster Dev.

2:23: I wonder if she uses a dry or a wet rub.

2:23: Dev decides all this honey talk is gettin’ her some hungry! She starts whipping up some steak on the grill half-naked in a silk dress. You can find a sexual experience similiar to this with W. at the Crawford Ranch. Er, if you’re into that kind of thing. W. uses a wet rub, in case you’re wondering…

2:28: You can be my honey dip, just don’t get any in my hair.

2:32: Sure Dev, grab a drink. No, don’t worry. We’ll edit all this out.

2:36: “I’m a long story with the end open.” Ooooh, that’s dirty. Um…I think.

2:44: Gimme that fucking hat, you doofus!

2:45: Dev takes the hat off the dude. The dude is presumably thinking at this point, “Look, lady. I don’t know who the fuck you are, but I’m trying to earn my living as a gardener here. Would you please leave me alone?”

2:57: If your honey dip lasts more than 4 hours, consult your physician.

2:56: If that is real honey this is very wasteful. Honey bees are going extinct, they don’t need this shit. What would Richard Dawkins think of all this?

3:04: Dev is the girl you take home to Mom and Dad.

3:05 : And then say, “See, Cindy wasn’t so bad, was she?”

3:09: Again, it just would have been easier with peens and va-jay-jays.

3:10: We get a flash of nice, juicy steak being smothered with honey. The TOH Texans are most likely masturbating vigorously at this point.

3:17: “Oh, shit. Have you guys been filming this entire time?!”

3:23: This innuendo is making me thirsty.

3:23: The video ends with another bra shot of Dev, then to her drinking her honey tea. Shows over. Time to go home, folks.

If Slutwave just isn’t for you, pretend this post never happened. If you like what you heard, Dev’s EP Bittersweet July is out now! Thanks for listening, friends!

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