Darkness Divided is a Christian metalcore band on Victory Records. They started back in 2010, which is shocking to think that there are relatively new bands still cranking out this type of music. What wave of Christian Metalcore are we on now? 6th? How many times can we praise Jesus in between breakdowns and pinch harmonics? You’d have to figure even JC would get tired of it. The band is from San Antonio. Maybe our Texan readers/writers can let us know if there is still a thriving Christian metalcore scene there or if there are some David Robinson metalcore bands out there. [Editor’s Note: Crucifictorious is all you need!]. Praise The Admiral’s name!
0:01: Uh oh. Is this a tentacle porn video?
0:05: I know we say “No anime” here, but does that include tentacle porn?
0:09: Or is there some sort of power metal song out there about banging a kraken and we have to keep our policy open?
0:12: Those ropes have a slimming effect on you.
0:19: It’s actually not ropes, just a bunch of giant Slim Jims.
0:23: Any particular reason their faces are dirty?
0:28: Did they have a particularly physical prayer circle?
0:32: His crucifix needs to be at least 50% more conspicuous.
0:37: I mean, how can God judge you if he has to squint at your jewelery?
0:42: And He said, “Let there be slow-motion.”
0:48: Someone didn’t get the “Wear all black” memo.
0:54: “God darn it, Joseph, check your email! We look so stupid now!”
0:59: Instead of “Good Cop, Bad Cop”, are these considered “Good Lamb, Bad Shepard” vocals?
1:04: That drumstick just broke out of the box! Witchcraft!
1:07: I hope the “priest” look doesn’t become a hip trend.
1:15: Breakdowns are the easiest way to repent your sins.
1:22: I wonder why they called this song “Back Breaker” when there’s so many better named wrestling moves out there.
1:25: How about Tombstone Piledriver or Brainbuster?
1:26: Or Crucifix Pin?
1:28: Now his head is breaking free. This is getting meta.
1:33: Those vocals are sounding a little too satanic. Say five Hail Marys and 10 Butcher Babies.
1:40: If they tie those ropes around their feet, they can make a lot of money from a dark corner of the internet.
1:46: Shred 4 The Lord.
1:58: Half-Ass Windmill 4 The Lord.
2:06: They saw Erra’s video and said “We could do slightly better than that.”
2:13: Although this room does look suspiciously like Jungle Rot’s doomsday bunker.
2:17: It must be a conspiracy between Church and State, right Jungle Rot? You cracked the code!
2:24: They’re going to need the holiest water to get off all that grit and grime.
2:35: The ropes represent twine-y-ness.
2:41: Oh jeez, here comes the tentacle part.
2:48: That’s deep. I think.
2:56: It’s nice that the tentacles now have chill music before they molest cartoon characters.
3:06: Jesus Camp and Chill.
3:15: They’re breaking free from the shackles of Six Flags Fiesta Texas.
3:21: Yes, strobe lights. Take my pain away like a banned episode of Pokemon.
3:29: They’re going to have so many rope burns after this.
3:34: They can heal their wounds in the cooling waters of Splashtown San Antonio.
3:43: The Shroud of Spinkickin.
3:49: Mary Chugdalene.
3:54: Jesus, what a day.
Darkness Divided’s self-titled album is available on April 22 via Victory Records.