Darkness Divided – Back Breaker: A Video Breakdown

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Atomic Drop.

Darkness Divided is a Christian metalcore band on Victory Records. They started back in 2010, which is shocking to think that there are relatively new bands still cranking out this type of music. What wave of Christian Metalcore are we on now? 6th? How many times can we praise Jesus in between breakdowns and pinch harmonics? You’d have to figure even JC would get tired of it. The band is from San Antonio. Maybe our Texan readers/writers can let us know if there is still a thriving Christian metalcore scene there or if there are some David Robinson metalcore bands out there. [Editor’s Note: Crucifictorious is all you need!]. Praise The Admiral’s name!

0:01: Uh oh. Is this a tentacle porn video?
0:05: I know we say “No anime” here, but does that include tentacle porn?
0:09: Or is there some sort of power metal song out there about banging a kraken and we have to keep our policy open?
0:12: Those ropes have a slimming effect on you.
0:19: It’s actually not ropes, just a bunch of giant Slim Jims.
0:23: Any particular reason their faces are dirty?
0:28: Did they have a particularly physical prayer circle?
0:32: His crucifix needs to be at least 50% more conspicuous.
0:37: I mean, how can God judge you if he has to squint at your jewelery?
0:42: And He said, “Let there be slow-motion.”
0:48: Someone didn’t get the “Wear all black” memo.
0:54: “God darn it, Joseph, check your email! We look so stupid now!”
0:59: Instead of “Good Cop, Bad Cop”, are these considered “Good Lamb, Bad Shepard” vocals?
1:04: That drumstick just broke out of the box! Witchcraft!
1:07: I hope the “priest” look doesn’t become a hip trend.
1:15: Breakdowns are the easiest way to repent your sins.
1:22: I wonder why they called this song “Back Breaker” when there’s so many better named wrestling moves out there.
1:25: How about Tombstone Piledriver or Brainbuster?
1:26: Or Crucifix Pin?
1:28: Now his head is breaking free. This is getting meta.
1:33: Those vocals are sounding a little too satanic. Say five Hail Marys and 10 Butcher Babies.
1:40: If they tie those ropes around their feet, they can make a lot of money from a dark corner of the internet.
1:46: Shred 4 The Lord.
1:58: Half-Ass Windmill 4 The Lord.
2:06: They saw Erra’s video and said “We could do slightly better than that.”
2:13: Although this room does look suspiciously like Jungle Rot’s doomsday bunker.
2:17: It must be a conspiracy between Church and State, right Jungle Rot? You cracked the code!
2:24: They’re going to need the holiest water to get off all that grit and grime.
2:35: The ropes represent twine-y-ness.
2:41: Oh jeez, here comes the tentacle part.
2:48: That’s deep. I think.
2:56: It’s nice that the tentacles now have chill music before they molest cartoon characters.
3:06: Jesus Camp and Chill.
3:15: They’re breaking free from the shackles of Six Flags Fiesta Texas.
3:21: Yes, strobe lights. Take my pain away like a banned episode of Pokemon.
3:29: They’re going to have so many rope burns after this.
3:34: They can heal their wounds in the cooling waters of Splashtown San Antonio.
3:43: The Shroud of Spinkickin.
3:49: Mary Chugdalene.
3:54: Jesus, what a day.

Darkness Divided’s self-titled album is available on April 22 via Victory Records.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    These guys are coming to my area while I’m on vacation. After I watched this I don’t want to be anywhere near them.

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      And they missed their golden opportunity to turn the video into a Cactus Jack/Terry Funk style barbwire match.

  • hieronymus bossk

    Looks like they are playing in one of the rooms from Legends of the Hidden Temple.

    • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

      too much credit

  • I shared this cringe filled atrocity with many people this weekend (Including our Robot friendo). It’s a doozy, got to love those barbed wire bass strings too. Fuck, is this atrocious; music and video content both.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CeRNvLNqdY

  • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

    i WISH this were a tentacle porn video

    • y
      w o u l d
      u

      • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

        it almost worked. almost.

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      You, you dirty ole blastbeard, you.

      • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

        i think it would really liven up the christian metalcore scene

    • hieronymus bossk

      so does Randall Thor

      • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

        dragons =/= tentacle porn.

        diff subgenres

        • hieronymus bossk

          Ah, but what about dragons with tentacles?

          • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

            cthulu monsters is a diff subgenre too

            cmon guys

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      Calamari core.

  • Joaquin Stick

    Someone needs to get OSHA on all those tripping hazards.

    • more beer

      OSHA will just give these guys a fine. They obviously won’t be able to pay.

      • BobLoblaw

        Or they could drop their tools and take lunch when OSHA shows up.

        • more beer

          That would just be more shit for them to trip on.

          • BobLoblaw

            Were going to need thresholds at the top of these steps to get real heavy.
            #buildingsafetyjokes

          • more beer

            That’s like something you tell the new guy to haze him.

          • the best one i heard was “hey new guy, this 2×4 is a few inches short. can you take it to the board lengthener across town?”
            the person actually did it. well, went across town anyways.

          • more beer

            Just wow.

          • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

            seconded

          • BobLoblaw

            We always needed the “brick stretcher” or “mortar conditioner” out of the truck when new guys came around.

          • BobLoblaw

            Messed up my big toe/ankle something awful while spending the night in a place with the very thing I mentioned. Fucking idiots.

          • more beer

            The threshold shouldn’t really stick up. They don’t use those old school saddles that stick up anymore. But he way things are built now. Things being wrong doesn’t surprise me.

          • BobLoblaw

            Carpeted steps with a metal threshold at the top going onto linoleum. Was enough to trip me.

          • brokensnow

            we tell him to get the brass magnet from the basement. other than the obvious thing, we have no basement.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Lol, like the whole ‘hunting for snipe’ thing in the military, I’m guessing?

  • if you’re gonna be moshing for Christ, you need a more impactful drum sound than that one. sounds like it was recorded right after “Reroute to Remain” (shudders)

  • more beer

    Why do they have ropes tied around themselves? Do they all have day jobs as roofers?

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      I dunno, I’m having flashbacks to Deine Lakaien’s ‘Into My Arms’ video where they needlessly did that. Because, reasons and shit I guess.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQhHkDt3UX0

  • Waynecro

    This sounds pretty much like most of the other crappy, generic metalcore I’ve heard, so at least Christianity didn’t really have a tremendously negative effect on the band’s sound. Also, tentacle porn is another thing that bums me out about humanity.

    • People that likes tentacle porn<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

      • BobLoblaw

        As abominable as those people are there are worse things out there link.

    • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

      What’s so awful about tentacle porn?

      • Waynecro

        I haven’t thought about it since my college ethics class, but off the top of my head: In addition to the bestiality aspect of it (which many people find unsettling), there’s usually an element of violation–the tentacle is essentially raping the person.

        • more beer

          The Japanese are into some weird porn.

          • Waynecro

            To each his or her own, but I can’t get down with anything involving animals and rape. I’m just a big ol’ prude.

          • more beer

            No that’s pretty normal not really a prude. Somethings shouldn’t be done.

          • understandably so. their genitals have to be pixellated out, so a person’s gotta get creative

          • more beer

            Not all of it is like that.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            It’s a weird world, Japanese sexploitation. Proper name pinku eiga, or for some, roman porno. Quite fascinating Even just taking the mainstream, pixellated stuff from proper studios. Runs the gamut from totally reprehensible to oddly sweet, dully generic to genuinely thought provoking and heartfelt. And a considerable amount of it is pretty well shot and acted, with solid production values. Very questionable a lot of the time, at least by Western standards. But a legit cultural phenomenon. Was even the starting ground for the odd “mainstream” big hitter. Pretty sure Kiyoshi Kurosawa (Pulse, Cure, Charisma etc.) started out there. And even a Best Foreign Film Oscar winner from a few years back.

          • hieronymus bossk

            I’ve heard they invented tentacle/hentai stuff because a lot of Japanese pornography isn’t allowed to show penetration of any kind. There’s no rules against drawing it though.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            I think that stuff got more popular in the 20th century when Japan adopted a bit of cultural prudishness as it was becoming more open to the outside world, but tentacles in Japanese erotica were around for a while before then. Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife was early-mid 19th century I believe, and may not have been the first.

          • hieronymus bossk

            Why and how do you know so much about the history of tentacle porn?

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            I used to be really into extreme cinema and general sleaze and weirdness. Less so nowadays, but it still interests me. I like knowing about the whole sort of labyrinth not even too far beneath regular culture. I mean, Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife, say, was a piece by a pretty serious, popular artist called Hokusai. You might recognise this one of his https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hokusai#/media/File:Great_Wave_off_Kanagawa2.jpg

          • hieronymus bossk

            I do recognize that. I feel ya though. I’m very curious about the mental things behind what gets people off too. I think the psychology behind sex and pornography is what interests me most. Like a “why would someone even think to make that a sexual kink?” kind of thing. Or a “who the fuck though to put electro pads on a sex organ in the first place?”. It’s funny because some of it is like “yeah, I could see the appeal of this”, yet I’m a total prude in real life situations.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            It’s pretty interesting territory. I’d guess a lot of the sexual connections take place at an accidental or at least sub-rational level first, and then get worked into whole concepts later. Like if you got buzzed by some dodgy wiring, and then thought about it later on and got tingly, and then just progressed from there. But then I’ve also read of people who knew exactly what they wanted from a pretty early age. So presumably it all comes down to individual differences. First hand accounts probably mean a bit more than theories.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls
          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            And are all the squids at the zoos and fish markets around his area accounted for?

          • hieronymus bossk

            Says the country that has Simpsons and Family Guy incest porn.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            I wonder if there are any countries that don’t have deranged porno scenes. I doubt it. Probably someone flogging away in a latex chicken suit in a basement in Iran as we speak.

          • hieronymus bossk

            I had to picture that, and now due to morbid curiosity (good band name, btw), I am trying to imagine the type of person/mind that craves it.

          • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

            his name is the Prophet Muhammed (come at me, fatwa)

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Muhammed porn =

          • brokensnow

            lol….”grandmas been bad..”( stares wide eyed into camera.)

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Now I’m wondering what Easter Island deranged porn would be like.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            Big ominous heads!

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls
          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            Haha!

          • more beer

            I guess, if cartoon porn does it for you.

          • hieronymus bossk

            There’s a whole tumblr, called LOLporn, devoted to weird, hilarious stuff Americans make. Even breakfast porn where a guy in a Corn Flakes box costume fucks a girl.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            I’ve unfortunately not seen the whole film myself but there’s a scene in a by many accounts classic early 80’s porno called Night Dreams where a guy in a toast costume dances with a girl wearing a Cream of Wheat box.

          • hieronymus bossk

            I’ve always wanted to be in a band that makes weird ass music videos like what you just described.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            You should do it man!

          • hieronymus bossk

            I have no musically inclined friends by me.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            LMAO! Only 80’s porn I can remember is Anal Rampage, and that’s mostly because Anthony Bourdain referenced it several times in Kitchen Confidential.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            *oils up, grabs a fistful of fresh tube socks and hits the top bunk to research this Corn Flake fellow*

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            And we gave the world pizza delivery guy porn. (this is SFW, but a hilarious take on that).

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szCIMUmDyqY

        • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

          It’s creepy, certainly. I used to find some of it quite interesting, imaginatively and culturally back in the day though. Not really my cup of tea any more though.

          • Waynecro

            To be fair, I’ve never actually watched it; I’ve only discussed it in ethics/philosophy hypotheticals. I’m an armchair tentacle-porn hater.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            Its not really a field worthy of much investigation. At least, such was my impression. Much better anime out there, and much better Asian oddity and extremity.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            I was watching a thing on Parts Unknown where Bourdain was interviewing the guy who came up with all of that. It was a way around Japan’s odd (and pointless) no genitalia depictions in anime or porn laws. “No dicks in my films? Fine, we’ll use tentacles instead!”. And thus it came to be.

        • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

          The Ethics Of Tentacle Porn And How It Shapes Society = college education at it’s finest

      • don’t make us deconstruct tentacle porn and then come to admit that it’s not so bad in the end and then start enjoying it.

      • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

        thank you sexygoat

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      I refuse to watch tentacle porn. I prefer normal porn when I want to watch a top bunk movie.

      • Lol.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          I prefer regular stuff when it comes to that, not anime or tentacles or other types of freaky porn.

          • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

            freaky porn >>>>>>

          • Lol.

  • Celtic Frosty

    Christian Metalcore will never, ever die.

    • Waynecro

      But if it does die, it will resurrect after three days.

      • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

        no it wont

      • brokensnow

        and give us eggs.

      • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

        And start eating people while yelling ‘Braaaaaaaaaaaaaains!”

  • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

    OT: i got a Q for Joe (or W or ML), on the podcasts, are you guys restricting the bitrate fir your audio files to save space?

    • It’s at 24 bit. Shit eats through my memory as is.

      • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

        i was more referencing the songs. Vocal quality seems far superior. i didnt know if it was the version you received, compression, or what. the difference is big

        • Oh yeah, I’ve been adjusting levels to make us sound less shitty!

          • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

            you guys sound like angels, the songs sound like my dhole in a blender

          • Really depends on the song. Each thing is recorded differently. They should all be the quality they were when they sent them to me.

          • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

            thats what i was asking

  • “Say five Hail Marys and 10 Butcher Babies.”

    Maxlolz

    GL

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

    Christian Metalcore on Victory = the perfect trifecta of fail. (not because they’re Christian, but Christian metal tends to get gimmicky and lolbuttz outside of a few bands. Victory Records and Metalcore, though? All fail!)

    “Thou shalt break downs with thine enemies, for it is written, and so it shall bounce” -Jesus

    http://www.tbo.com/storyimage/TB/20121118/BLOGS/311189890/EP/1/14/EP-311189890.jpg

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

    In other news, a man claiming to be from the future where everyone is dead jumps on the counter of a fast food place, grabs a fistful of bacon and chicken then storms his way out.

    http://www.koco.com/news/ocpd-man-claiming-to-be-from-future-assaults-employee-steals-chicken-bacon/39083844?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link

    (1). What’s his TOH handle?
    (2). Is he available for parties?