G.E.T. A. B.E.T.T.E.R. N.A.M.E.
We all like to joke that all the good band names are now taken. It may be why we see so many metal bands with “wolf” or “witch” in their names. The more plausible reason is that some people just aren’t particularly creative when it comes to naming things. With that I present to you the band D.I.E. No, not the thrash band from Finland named D.I.E. Not the three death metal bands from the US named D.I.E. And not even the Spanish band named D.I.E. I am talking about the crossover band from Brazil named D.I.E.
It’s safe to say that they are not the only band out there to use the oh-so-clever acronym of D.I.E for a band name. Acronyms can seem like a good idea if you’re a comic book writer coming up with a new evil syndicate or a child making their own fantasy wrestling federation, but it’s not a good look for bands. Just ask HIM, M.A.N., D.R.U.G.S., or S.T.U.N. You practically go blind from rolling your eyes so hard at those names. While naming your band D.I.E. is pretty silly, I suppose we should give them the benefit of the doubt. It’s a simple, easily remembered name and besides, their song titles are probably more cleve…wait, the song is also called “D.I.E”? S.h.i.t.
0:04: “Don’t worry, sir. We cleaned off all the vomit and splooge while you were gone.”
0:07: You alright, dude? Need a little moisturizer?
0:12: It’s Manbearpig!
0:16: Pig Men are the new Crab People.
0:20: Piiiiiiiiiiig Meeeeeennnnn Piiiiiiiiiiggggg Meeeeennnnnnnn!
0:24: I think this song wants people to do something, but I’m not quite sure what…
0:27: Golden Corral prepares the feeding trough.
0:32: “That’s not what I meant when I said ‘I’m going to lay some pipe!’”
0:34: “Just walk away!”
0:43: “Damn it, Jason! I never should have given you this job as a favor to your mother!”
0:50: Freddy would never put up with this pigshit.
0:52: Who knew Jason would wear Converse sneakers?
1:00: He’ll never get full credit at Dartmouth for his internship now.
1:05: It looks like he just finished a porn scene with a strawberry.
1:08: Marco Bertolini: The Most Trusted Name In Brazilian Metal News.
1:11: That’s a lovely brick, sir.
1:17: Is this about to become an Asesino video? Because that would be great.
1:28: He’s going to be disappointed when he finds out those aren’t brigadeiros-flavored.
1:34: They’re no Miss Bum-Bum, but it’s good enough.
1:41: You really taste the tobacco.
1:48: A deleted scene from Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas.
1:54: The power of pork compels you!
2:01: This is the end of the gun that makes bad people go away.
2:17: Is a Fozzy video going to break out now?
2:26: Brazilian PTA meetings require armed guards.
2:34: More bacon in that place than the policeman’s ball.
2:39: A deleted scene from Eyes Wide Shut.
2:49: How do you say “trailer pants” in Portuguese?
2:56: He was made of jelly donuts this entire time!
3:04: A pig on cocaine? Now I’ve seen everything.
3:11: See, this is why you always tip your drivers.
3:17: Jeez, you already bashed his head in. Do you really need to gas him too?
3:23: Wait… is the song over?
3:27: Uh oh… I don’t like the sound of that music. Is this about to become a snuff film?
3:34: So the song isn’t over. It just stopped for that super important interlude.
3:38: Meal preparation for the Olympics starts early.
3:43: Just because you’re a demon doesn’t mean you shouldn’t use gloves when handling raw meat.
3:54: Sure let’s stop the song again.
4:04: Whelp, shouting “Die!” over and over again sure made me want to die.
I have no idea if there is a new D.I.E album out any time soon. They put out an EP in 2012 so there you go.