Crossing the Thrashold: Post Election Mexican Standoff


Well I’ll be goddamned, Toileteers. I’m gone from writing for the Toilet for a couple of months and y’all manage to elect this guy to be your president? Hardee fucking har.

Well if shit goes down, I have all of the firearms and ammunition you need. I also got a generous dose of that good ole thrash as a soundtrack too. You wieners didn’t believe me when I said there was plenty of good thrash around these days. Now you’re all about to eat some weapons-grade crow cause that shit is coming back in style. And no, I don’t mean fucking Metallica. You have no idea how many people have come to me saying “Metallica just put all other thrash to shame this year.” Fuck that noise. The new album is not terrible, but such a statement should still get ones head separated from their body. Metallica should not be the gold standard for thrash in fucking 2016. Hell, even the new Testament is better (and actually thrash), but I digress.

My fellow Toilet writers already gave you a taste, and I’ll have a full write-up soon on a real good band (or two). but for now, take a couple of these palm-muted shots to the dome.

For our first pick we head back to that bastion of raw thrash, Texas. Seriously, what is it about the Lone Star State that churns out these awesome thrash bands at such a high rate? Maybe our commander in Chief Joe Thrashnkill can tell us one day hmm? I’ll likely have to bribe him with a meal from Whataburger and the whole King of Hill DVD collection.

Aggravator hail from San Antonio and bring it hard with some of the most vicious and accurate societal hatred set to Terrible Certainty influenced riffing I’ve heard in a while. They got a demo, an EP and two full-lengths down, this year’s Sterile Existence being the second. The whole band just comes at you with no mercy. Guitarist Derek Jones commands the mic sounding like a fevered hound chewing on some goddamn sandpaper. And when those grooves snake out from within the 800mph stomping, like on “High Impact Homicides”, you will tear out plaster from walls. Angery as fuck. Unfortunately, “Sterile” is not on Bandcamp, but their previous album Populace Destructor is. Meanwhile take this as an appetizer and then go here to grab those physical copies.

Next we move north to that most colorless of urban wastelands, Chicago. Or rather to an area nearby, Plano. From this not so quaint town comes quartet Living Terror. They’ve been active since 2014, releasing one demo. And their hard work now comes to fruition with the release of their debut EP Total Warfare. I am normally not a fan of this type of chunky mid-paced thrash. But the more speed metal-esque pacing of these seven tracks, combined with the slight blackened edge of the riffs and the intimidating snarl of front-man Phil Kurasz wrapped up in a clean and very sharp production just does it for me. “Lord of the Reaper” in particular serves as an excellent call to war. Very fitting for these times then, hmm? I look forward to more stuff from these guys.

For band number three we go east good ol NYC to get in touch with a crew of hometown heroes. Night Rite come forth from the inner realms of the Five Boroughs to give you a thoroughly nihilistic and quite atmospheric take on black/thrash. Their debut full-length Chaosophy came out last year, but I am still shoving its seven tunes into my ears even now. Songs like “Dragon of Western Throne” and “Rise of the Black Sun” are a hell of a combination of cold epic riffing with eerie passages and occasional punk stomping. The dissonant vocals are something else too, not veering into cheesy territory like way too many bands of the ilk tend to do.  I almost wish this record had come out this year so the fellating of it would be more timely, but thems the breaks, citizens. They also kill it live too, staying tight and focused as a onstage machine despite their occasional lineup changes. They are at a stable four-piece for now and have gone back into the urban catacombs from whence they came to write some more music. Can’t wait really. In the meantime, grab Chaosophy here (Hint: It’s NYP so you have no excuse, though you should throw them a couple of dollars anyway).

Saving the best for last here, citizens. Cross the Atlantic to the hallowed shores of France, to the city of Tarbes, and witness the self proclaimed “heavy/speed metal attack” of three piece Iron Slaught. These dudes seemingly came out of nowhere, though they have been active since 2011. They have a single full-length, no EPs demos or anything else. And that full-length, Crusading Metal Mercenaries, came out last year. I give a fuck about none of these things because this album is completely awesome and punishing in all of the right ways. Have you ever thought of what a hybrid of the speed of classic Agent Steel and windswept feel of Wotan would sound like? No? Well get out of my face, fucking wiener.

In all seriousness, this band comes with six songs drenched in epic fist pumping riffs that will make your hair fall off from too much banging. All the while front-man Iron Jeremy (ha) alternates between a ferocious snarl and a surprisingly deep, heavily accented croon as he regurgitates tales of medieval madness and occult shenanigans. The opening track “Battle Ready” should be more than enough to compel you to don your armor (or your kutte, whichever suits you.) and charge into glorious war against the false. The other 3/4ths of the record is speed metal goodness that keeps the epic spirit while trampling everything in their path. Like Night Rite, I wish this album had come out this year so I can heap more praise upon it. Still, smash that BC link button and buy.

Well that’s all for the time being, Toileteers. I hope you find something you enjoy from these four prospects, and I also hope you all eventually stop talking about fucking Metallica. Especially since this is more important, at least to this maniac. Yeah I know that second request is wishful thinking.
Until next time, mosh and be well.
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  • GL

    Iron Slaught takes the cake, hands down!


  • Óðinn
    • Dumpster Lung ᴰᵃᵐᵃᵍᵉ_ᴵⁿᶜ⁸⁹

      Still one of my favorites!

  • Señor Jefe El Rosa

    Oh hell yes! Definitely checking all these bands out. Iron Slaught rips, i listened to them a while back when Mr. Phoenix purchased the album on bandcamp and it popped up in my feed. They are very much worth relistening to. HAIL!

  • CyberneticOrganism

    “Metallica just put all other thrash to shame this year.”

    I was drawn into my one and only pithy comment war about someone smugly stating the same sentiment about Dethklok. “TFW a joke cartoon band is better than all metal bands of the last 20 years” or some such garbage. Dude was a serious fan and refused to believe there was metal out there other than Disturbed, Godsmack etc. and a bunch of other radio bands that hit their peak 12 years prior. He probably looked like this.

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa


    • GL

      dude musta just finished slaying that restroom. lol

      • CyberneticOrganism


        • There was an epic BowlStreak in the work place toilet this morning.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Bowl Streak Bro shits hard & fast

        • GL


    • Howard Dean

      This dude parties–and he’s got a too small t-shirt he bought at Wal-mart to prove it!

    • Dumpster Lung ᴰᵃᵐᵃᵍᵉ_ᴵⁿᶜ⁸⁹

      Lol. Glad I never heard anyone actually say that, but it’s not surprising that some have. I did enjoy the Dethklok releases I heard (3 of ’em out there, as far as I remember). It seemed each one felt a little less like a parody than the one before it, and they were all decent, but damn. . . to say they’re better than anything from the past 20 years? Or better than anything at all, really. That’s just uninformed.

      “Well there you have it, ramen noodles are the pinnacle of Asian cuisine!” – guy who’s never had anything but hamburgers his whole life who just tried ramen noodles.

      Yeah that was a shit analogy, but man that’s just a sad situation. When I saw Mastodon the first time, it was right after Crack the Skye first came out, and they co-headlined with Dethklok and Converge opened.

      At least half the audience was strictly there for Dethklok. It was regrettable. They did put on a really good show, though. Fun stuff and well executed. Mastodon slayed, though.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        That’s too bad about Mastodon being overshadowed. I thought the first Metalocalypse season was pretty clever and funny, but season 2 and beyond lost me. The dude getting into the comment war seemed to be a guy who listened to metal as a teenager and immediately grew out of it, having no knowledge of anything past 1998 or so.

        • The God Emperor of Mankind

          Dethklok is great, but with every Klok show you get a whole load of heretical posers crawling out of the woodwork.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            The Tyrant watches Adult Swim

        • Dumpster Lung ᴰᵃᵐᵃᵍᵉ_ᴵⁿᶜ⁸⁹

          I hate hearing that sometimes. That whole “I used to listen to metal, but I grew out of it” mentality. I mean, we all go through phases, and if metal was just a phase for someone then I get it, but to “grow out of” just feels like it cheapens the entire concept.

          • GoatForest

            That’s because they were listening to juvenile shit like Slipknot and Disturbed.

          • Dumpster Lung ᴰᵃᵐᵃᵍᵉ_ᴵⁿᶜ⁸⁹

            That or they just get into it for the technicality, and it’s got nothing to do with how the music really makes them feel.

          • GoatForest

            That too.

    • Óðinn
  • Spear

    Good shit all around, but Iron Slaught is definitely the goodest. Picking that up immediately.

  • Waynecro
  • InfinityOfThoughts

    As much as I love Metallica, there is no way in the name of Satan that a person could call HTSD thrash. A TBA and Load love child raised on MOP? Sure. But thrash? Fuck no.

    Btw, any recommendations for some good death-thrash or blackened thrash? Iron Onslaught seems like that will fit the bill but I haven’t listened yet.

  • JWEG

    I wonder if this I. Ron Slott fella is related to I. Ron Butterfly.

    • tigeraid

      Wait a minute…. This sounds like Rock AND/OR Roll!

    • Kevin Nash’s Jackknife

      I love The Simpsons. This is one of my favorite scenes in the show’s history.

      • Max

        I’ve been toying for quite some time with the idea of getting some business cards made which say “Works on contingency(?). No(,) money down(!)” a la Lionel Hutz.

  • JWEG

    Sadly Disqus still won’t embed Bandcamp players. I don’t want this album overlooked:

  • KyleJMcBride

    Well, 1 person appears to be “watching” my Ebay post. That’s a hopeful sign.

  • CT-12

    Yo, Tankcrimes is having a sale, $3 cassettes and $6 CD’s. Check it out here.

    • RJA

      Everyone knows the forest floor is not a good place for vinyl!

      edit: Although it may be a suitable place for diarrhea.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Chipotle Edition

  • Simon Phoenix is my favorite criminal ever <3