Cooking for Metalheads, Vol. 3: Venezuelan Melodic Merol Chicken ov Intestinal Destruction



(Spanglish for Metal).

1. m. Pronoun. Everything and nothing. Light and the Void. Music and Noise.


Hi, ToH! Uncle Link’s here to share a fantastic recipe called “Melodic Merol Chicken ov Intestinal Destruction“, also named “La receta cariñosa de Link“. Hope you like it!

First of all, I used venezuelan ingredients, so I will try to be very descriptive so you can exchange some flavors at will with whatever you can buy in your zone. Are you ready to mosh with chicken? Ok, let’s go!


– Chicken Legs.

For the stew:

– White onions.

– Spring onion.

– Coriander.

– Paprika/Bell/Green Pepper.

– Pepper.

– Garlic.

– Leek.

To seasoning the chicken:

– Worchestershire sauce/English sauce.

– Liquid Garlic sauce.

– Soja sauce.

– 57 sauce.

– Salt.

– Oregano.

– Cumin.

Time of work: around 1 hour.

Difficulty: easy.

Depending on the amount quantity of chicken, you can feed yourself or even 4 people or more. We made food for three people in here.



1. Start cranking this song full volume 200 %. Because, Carcass is awesome, they like irony and we’re cooking with dead meat, ok? Ok…

2. Cut the chicken legs to help it cook in the inside more easily.



3. Season the chicken legs in a bowl. Bring first the sauces and bathe the chicken with a lot of liquid garlic (if you use regular garlic, grind it and spread in the meat).

The important thing here is bring a lot of sauce, no worries. You will use the remnants in the stew too. A very common thing in Venezuelan cooking is that you don’t lose any ingredient!

Now you will watch me stuff the merol chicken with sauce, and you will love it!

Now you will watch me stuff the merol chicken with sauce, and you will love it!

Bring it and mix it with your hands!

Bring it and mix it with your hands!

4. Meanwhile you’re seasoning the meat, crank this full vol. 200 % to remember yourself to put huge quantity of sauces with uniformity so the chicken grab a lot the mix of flavors.

5. Put the seasoned chicken in a pot with a little drip of comestible oil (olive oil or butter can work too). Turn the kitchen in low fire to pre-cook the chicken. This is the special side of this recipe. You have to cook it until you see it turning gold with the previous seasoning. When you see it’s already cooked, put it out.

You can check here how the merol chicken was when it was out of the hellish hell infernal inferno.

You can check here how the merol chicken was when it was out of the hellish hell infernal inferno.

6. Cut in little pieces the vegetables for the stew: cut it in fine pieces. Also, once you have done the cutting, put both onions and leek in a recipient, and the other vegetables in another, because you will cook it in different parts.



7. Turn this up to make the repetitive cutting more enjoyable. This is a melodic death merol chicken, so you don’t have to complain and just enjoy the mixes. Eucharist is one of the older bands, so pay respect while those onions are reduced to pieces.

8. In the same pot you pre-cooked the merol chicken, you have to put another drip of oil and cook first the onions and the leek. When the white onion turns yellow-ish, drop the other vegetables and cook it, too.

Look the golden color of the onions. It's time to put the rest. (This is my favorite part of this recipe, jejeje).

Look the golden color of the onions. It’s time to put the rest.
(This is my favorite part of this recipe, jejeje).

9. while you cook the onions you will drop… TURURURURÚN… Black Tears…

10. When the vegetables are done. Put the merol chicken and cover the pot. Mantain a medium fire. You will know the chicken is ready because it changed color because the stew. You can add a little of the sauces along with a little of water so you can serve the plate with more of the stew.

We're near! We're in the Flames of the End.

We’re near! We’re in the Flames of the End.

11. Turn on The Flames of the End in 200 % loop volume and watch the chicken dying to reborn in a awesome and tasty chicken that will serve you as dinner. His transformation is complete so you can feed.

12. Eat and enjoy. Nomnomnomnom.

This are some stuff you can use to acompany this magnificent piece of meal. In this, I’m not counting calories/portions/whatever, because here we don’t usually do that and simply put two or three portions in the plate without worrying about that:

– White Rice. In Venezuela we put a portion of rice to a lot of lunchs because it mix very well with the stews and the vegetables flavor. Venezuelan cuisine have a lot of vegetables.

– Salad. A tasty salad is good.

– Smashed potatos. With cheese.

– Smashed plantain. To make it more latin style, smash some cooked plantain and add cheese.

– Cheese. I love cheese.

– Arepas. The famous Venezuelan bread is a good choice, because it’s more crunchy and mix better with the stew than regular bread.

– Fried plantain. Cut plantain and fry it. Tasty.

– Boiled plantain. If you boil it, it’s awesome too!

– Beans. A portion of beans it’s a good company.

– Pasta: use pasta with butter and cheese.

To make this plate. Mrs. Nayru Shine de Leonhart made white rice, boiled plantain and a tasty salad. And Mama Leonhart, made an awesome melon juice. This was our plate:




LET’S EAT… Melodic Merol Chicken ov Intestinal Destruction!!! *STARTS A MOSH PIT*

Aaaand, we have this [*] [Bonus Track] brought to you by our zombie pal, 365 days of chicken:

Black Merol Link, by 365 Days ov Horror.

Black Merol Link, by 365 Days ov Horror.

Hope you liked it!

My sincere thanks to Mrs. Leonhart for helping me with the editing of the photos and the other part of the cooking; and to Mama Leonhart for taking the pics! You are the best!

Did you dig this? Take a second to support Toilet ov Hell on Patreon!
  • And all this time I thought leeks were a made up vegetable only used in Skyrim….lol



    • Goat of Dank desires

      Really? They’re pretty common here in the Netherlands.

      • Totes my goats.


        • The Beargod

          I still don’t know whether you are serious or not.

          • Anneke>>>>>>. The Gentle Storm is STILL rocking my world!

          • The Beargod

            It’s a VERY good album.

          • Unless something miraculous happens (like Gojira!) this is going to be my album of the year. There is just so much great melody/content. I find myself humming the songs multiple times per day.

          • The Beargod

            I think Gojira is supposed to happen, which would be nice.

          • Yeah but until something is set in stone – I am going to be skeptical.

            Have you seen this video? DAMN it is beautiful.


          • The Beargod

            Almost makes me want to start listening to WithinTemptation. Almost.

          • haha I know what you mean. I can stomach the Orchestra versions – but that is about it! That duet though – fucking awesome!

    • Stanley

      Did you just watch Boston?

      • No sir!

        • Stanley

          The elites just finished but….

          • That site is bogging down heavy atm. The stream isn’t coming through on my end (our checked our connection at 850MBps). Damnit

          • Stanley

            It’s all good for me but I’ve had it on since 7am.

    • Jajajaja, no. We use them a lot here to soups and stews too n-n)

  • Actiondonkey

    Would have bet anything Link+food would look something like this.

    • Uhhh, didn’t get this.

      • Maik Beninton

        Dude, bros of merlindia.

      • Actiondonkey

        A joke about stereotypical American ignorance.

  • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

    This makes me very hungry.

    • Actiondonkey

      Food from the Venezuelan / Columbia region is bomb. Link knows what’s up.

      • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

        He sure does. Have you ever been to a Brazilian BBQ place? They’re the best because it’s all you can eat prime meat such as sirloin, Filet Mignon and other such delicious meats.

        • Actiondonkey

          Oh hell yeah. I think they call them Churrascarias? Never have I been so happy to have men shove their meat in my face.

          • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

            The one near me is called Churrascaria Plataforma on 49th Street and 8th in NYC. if you’re ever in NYC go there. It’s so damn good.

          • Dagon

            I went there 3 years ago. They’re very good, but down South they have Texas do Brazil and Fogo de Chão which I consider a bit better.

            Did you try pão de queijo (cheesebread)?

          • Actiondonkey

            Been to both in Orlando. Simply put, they are the shit. But Fogo might get the nod.

          • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

            I give Plataforma the nod because they have bacon wrapped Filet Mignon and cheese encrusted Filet Mignon which tastes so good it will make a grown man cry. I’m completely serious about that.

          • Actiondonkey

            Cheese encrusted Filet Mignon?


          • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

            It’s so damn good.

          • Dagon

            This is the last churrascaria I went to. OD’d on meat and beer, all free courtesy of my friend who was graduating.


          • J.R.

            They had one of these in Albuquerque! Father returned with this advice: Do not order a salad.
            A Texas De Brazil opened up around here somewhere so I’ll have to treat the lady some time. loljk she doesnt eat

          • more beer

            Tucanos I`ve eaten there before. That place is very good.

          • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

            That looks so good. I want that so bad.

          • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

            I did. It’s the best bread on the planet Earth. They’re opening a Texas De Brazil in a mall an hour away from me.

      • Thanks, Mueller.

        I think latin food is good because the mixture of flavors. We usually cook with salt/sweet flavors at the same time with the vegetables. It’s a very condensed type of food.

        In fact, Venezuela have the best breakfast, according to some chefs: the arepa. It’s like a corn flour bread.

  • Dagon

    Great stuff, brolo, this looks delish!

    Also, mad props on the Edge Of Sanity. Dan Swano can do NO WRONG.

  • Tyree

    Food, beer, blasting, Satan, and pooping. This is what it’s all about.

    This looks damn good Link, I’m going to drive on up the road here and get another shitty gas station sub now. Fuck off!

    • I think this plate will be very good if you drop some beer to the chicken and put it to the oven too.

      And then, drink a beer when you’re about to eat, jajaja.

      And then, drink another beer when pooping.

      Thanks, tairí. Beware in the road, don’t let the Carmageddon dominates you.

      • Tyree

        These are all very good tips. Thank you.

        I pooped the other day and brought my beer in with me. I felt filthy doing it, but I knew I was going to be a while.

        • Dagon

          I’ve showered with my beer before, but I am yet to take it to potty time with me. Yet.

          • Tyree

            Beer drinking while showering is a regular ritual for me.

          • *gets in shower*
            *looks up*
            *sees three emptys*
            *thinks to self, ” I have got to clean those up”*
            *adds fourth empty*

            I know what you mean, lol.

          • Tyree

            It happens.

        • BRO!

          If your soap is tiny, you can spread the little soap you have in the can, bathe and then drink the beer. #VenezuelaFacts

          • Tyree

            Slap a couple of metal stickers on those and we are in business buddy.

          • You can have one with a Darkthrone sticker.

            I can have one with a Carcass sticker.

            When we cheer it, the tank of the toilet emits some blast beats noises.


        • J.R.

          Ive brought food into the bathroom before because I figured I would poop it out again soon anyway. Strange time in my life

  • RustyShackleford

    Goddamn this looks delicious! I suck at cooking so I’m super jealous. Also, Hank Hill is wondering WHERE IS THE PROPANE?!

    • Hey, Rusty! Totally worth it, I suck too, but I was inspired to share this recipe with you and that’s why the photos are good, jajaja. If you need any advice I can share the few things I know about cooking.

  • Goat of Dank desires

    I can eat anything so I don’t cook often, but those pictures are making my stomach howl in anger. Great article Link.

    • Thank you, Hubert.

      A friend told me once that Netherlands have good food too!

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    I like food. Food is good.

    • Your presence has been missed of late!


    • Liar.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Yeah, food and all of existence fucking sucks.

    • Thanks for passing by. If you ever come near my city, in Venezuela, message me and I can make you something to eat 🙂

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain


  • I’m going to cook the hell out of this with some motherfuckin’ plantains.

    • How was your trip? Sorry if this has already been asked!


      • Solid! I won a bunch of money and a hangover!

        • Sweet apples, man. Sounds like you had a good time!

          • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

            It sure sounds like he did. I’m excited for tomorrow because it’s my birthday and I am going down to this outlet mall I love that has the best Philly cheese steaks. I’m mostly going because I need to find new shoes.

          • New shoes FTW

          • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

            They have a lot of shoe stores including a really nice Nike store and a nice Reebok store as well as other stores.

          • KJM

            I wear Timberland only. I have bad ankles and need solid dependable boots.

          • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

            They have a nice Timberland store there. I prefer to wear basketball shoes because I have big feet and they usually fit me comfortably.

          • Tyree
          • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

            Is this from Last Man On Earth? I love that show.

          • Dagon

            If I wasn’t restrained by geography/exchange rates I would have probably developed a sneaker obsession by now.

            When I lived in the US I bough 9 pairs in a year. Although whenever I get new shoes I donate an older pair, it makes my consumerism a bit justifiable.

          • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

            I have a sneaker obsession. I wear a lot of retros from brands like Reebok, Fila and occasionally Jordan. I like Reebok best because they’re very comfortable and they usually have my size.

          • The only gym shoes worth buying are ones on triple mark down. BOOM!

          • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

            I have a pair of gym shoes but they’re falling apart.

          • If they are falling apart then you should upgrade them to river shoes (shoes you wear only when wading in the river).

            River shoes hold the highest honor.

          • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

            I don’t go in the river near me because it’s very polluted.

          • #JJDfacts

          • I’m coming to work with this. I think I need to buy new shoes:


          • J.R.

            Get those big mexican boots with the long toe and be the most gangster cool person in all the land.

          • Dagon

            My running shoes were obliterated after 2 years of use, and since I don’t even run anymore, just weights and short bursts of HIIT I’ve been rocking my indoor soccer kicks at the gym.

          • Dagon

            I never fucked with Reebok that much, I’m more of a Nike/Vans/Occasional Js kind of guy. I like the 3s, the VI and the VII.

          • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

            I like the VII and the XIII best. Reebok has my favorite shoes though such as the Shaq series, the Allen Iverson shoes and other famous athletes like Shawn Kemp.

          • Dagon

            I only have the White/Cement 3s on my collection right now. No way to get Jordans here in BR. They are actually 4 years old right now, but still in good condition.

            I used to get my sneakers mainly from two places when I was in the US

          • #GoodGodDagon

          • J.R.

            I have a pair of tennis shoes and a pair of hiking boots. What does one do with so many shoes?

          • Dagon

            You style on dem fools, brah.

          • J.R.

            At last I truly see

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            Need new shoes? Skin your annoying neighbours and make new shoes from them.

          • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

            That’s murder though.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            There’s nothing better than a good murder in the morning.

          • The Beargod
          • Sir Tapir the Based

            A quick question: did you like the election results?

          • The Beargod

            I’m a little unsure of what to think of them. On the other hand, it’s probably going to be better than the last, on the other hand Persut are still pretty big and a few other bad ones. But no Räsänen, I wager, or RKP, I hope.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            Persut will hopefully stay as an opposition party. They didn’t join the cabinet last time even tho they could’ve.

          • The Beargod

            Ay that would be good, but then what would the govt look like.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            Most likely. Did your candidate win? Mine did not.

          • The Beargod

            Nope. Unfortunately, like alfuckingways.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            That’s what you get for voting Sinivalkoinen Rintama

          • The Beargod

            Humph! I voted for Työväen Kommunistinen Puolue, I’ll let you know!

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            Are you my brother?

          • The Beargod


          • J.R.

            and I thought my last name was long

          • I thought when you skinned a wizard it drained all of his power… which is technically not murder.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            If it’s technically not a murder, it ain’t worth it.

          • Wizard power harnessing sounds way more rambo than murder, friend.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            I don’t care if it sounds more rambo. Harnessing wizard power doesn’t give my nonexistent dick a boner!

          • #toomuchinformation

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            Hey, you would’ve found out about it sooner or later.

          • You have changed….

        • It was a good trip, then 😛

          What did you drank?

          • *reads Links comment*
            *prays Papa Joe says “Purple drank, bitch”*

          • Purple drank, bitch*

            *Too much beer and whiskey and some kind of mystery shot to end the night because I make bad decisions.

          • Uhhh, seems like those weird headaches in the other morning.

            Were you playing with your band? Or it was some of those rock’nroll trips you americans make?

          • It was an old friend’s birthday. He wanted to go across the border to Louisiana to eat gumbo and play at the casino for an evening. Long drive, but it was worth it!

          • Stockhausen

            Beer+whiskey=pls let me die

    • Tyree


    • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

      That chicken looks so good. Same goes for the plantains. I love plantains, especially the fried ones I eat at the Brazilian BBQ place I go to in the city.

    • KJM

      I’d probably substitute something else for plantains.

      • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

        I’d eat the plantains. I like plantains a lot.

    • Yeah! If you don’t want to make smashed potatoes you can make smashed plantains too <3

  • KJM

    This is award winning stuff, right here. You can never have too much rice.

    • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

      I agree. It looks so good.

      • especially those plantains

        • I do not get the plantain love. They are bland as hell, IMO!

          • Fried plantains are my shiiiiiit. Give me a bowl of ’em and a pile of Pao de Queijo (courtesy of Dagon) and I’ll be a happy hombre.

          • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

            They’re so good. I love them.

          • Do you put something on them after you fry them? The ones I have had could have used a tad bit of sugar on top – similar to what one would do for oatmeal.

          • Hmm. I’ve never added anything – maybe you were just dealing with crappy plantains? Or it’s not your vibe.

          • No, just cut it and fry them.

            It depends on the consistency of the plantain. If it’s green, it will become more crunchy, we cut here in circles and when we fry them we call it Tostones:


            When the plantain is yellow, turning to black, it’s more bland. You can make it Venezuelan/Colombian/Brasilian style cutting them in long. We call it Tajadas:


            It all depends in the cut. The tostones are more thin, and the more ripe is more bland, so you have to cut it more thick.

          • Noted! Thanks!

          • Just beware the heat on the oil. It must be very very hot, and the plantains cook very fast.

          • Dagon

            If I ever make it stateside again I’ll do a TovH pão de queijo tour, spreading love and brazilian edibles throughout Murica.

        • Sir Tapir the Based

          Yoooo, dat new profile pic is dank!

    • Sir Tapir the Based

      Welcome to the rice fields, motherfucker!

      • J.R.

        aye b0ss

    • Thank youu, KJM!

      It was very fun to cook and being photographed. I was wearing trailer pants jajaja.

      • KJM

        And you actually look much like your profile pic!

  • Link how do I get a Mrs. Gurp to cook for me?

    • Spit, swear and scratch your testicles a lot! 😀

    • J.R.

      Lady J.R. could cook you stuff. If you want plain spaghetti/ rice-a-roni/ broccoli.
      The children we eventually create are in for a treat.

  • Pagliacci is Kvlt O)))

    I wish Link was my House Elf that cooked for me. I’d let him have clothes.

    • Actiondonkey

      Suspicious only half your statement is true.

    • Uhhhh… o.o)

  • Sir Tapir the Based

    I might have to try this out this week. Looks mighty delish.

    • Hey, Tapir! Thanks for passing by!

      Hope you can do it, if you need something just call me at 0-800-Link-00. Call at the day, because in the night is a erotic call service 😛

      Jokes aside, if you need something with the recipe just message me, bro.


  • wholly crow, @linkleonhart:disqus, this looks like the best dish ever! great write-up too.
    have you ever had chimichurri sauce? i imagine something like this going very well with it.

  • JamesGrimm
  • Tyree

    A simple late night drunken concoction.

  • J.R.

    Eating Chik Fil A on campus, and for the first time wanting to venture to the blasted South-America-lands. Thank you Toilet ov International Dining!
    Nice refrigerator magnets Link.

    • Hey, you’re more than welcome!

      In those refrigerators magnets there’s one Lion, it’s my favorite and it’s always in the door of the refrigerator. My fiancée won them in a raffle at a photography course she was making 😛

      • J.R.

        The only time i’ve ever felt attached to a magnet, we were at Graceland (Elvis’s house) and mother told me I could get a souvenir and for some reason I was drawn to this magnet I had picked up when we walked in. It was the strangest feeling.
        It is on a lamp on my desk now. Love that thing.

    • Chick-Fil-A: food so good i couldn’t boycott them for being anti-homosexual

      • J.R.

        I have seriously ignored them this semester, because they arent located in the super comfy building I usually wind up in. However today I just happened to park near it so I figured #YOLO
        The one on campus spoils us, because every other chik fil a sucks in comparison.

      • Lacertilian
        • Jajajajajaja have you watched Daredevil yet?

          • Lacertilian

            I’ve got it for the missus, she is really enjoying it. I think she has skipped ahead of me when I went out drinking on the weekend. I watched the first couple of episodes and it was enjoyable. Thanks for that site btw, it’s really good.
            Have you been watching Louie?

  • JWG

    This looks very good, with the huge exception of coriander.
    Is that a vital ingredient, or is there a semi-logical substitution I could make?

    • Hey, JWG! 🙂

      You don’t have to add the coriander. You can substitute it with a little of Basil or Rosemary. Those are just for the aroma, I didn’t use too much, to be honest.

    • The Beargod

      Cumin will substitute for coriander leaves, if it’s seeds, then parsley or dill might do the trick.

      • I used cumin in powder for this one.

        • The Beargod

          I needs to read the recipe better 😉

  • Dr. Dubz

    I love Link. Glad Nayru could share her love with us.

  • This sounds delicious Link, my wife and I are going to have to try this one night. She’d really enjoy this based on the ingredients.

    • Thank you, Ron!! 😀

      How is the little Ronnie?

      Hope you have a ‘blast’ cooking! <3

      • She’s good, last day off from work. My wife and my mother-in-law will have to figure how to deal with my maniac son when I’m not home.

        • KJM


        • Omg <3 your son is so grindy and blasty!

          • He was rocking out to Wormrot this morning – I’m not making this up.

  • NefariousDude

    I finally fuckingr know what merol is now. I need to lurk moar

  • tertius_decimus

    Link, you’re raddest person in the ToH!

    • cosigned.

      • KJM

        dat new profile pic >>>>>>>>

    • Thank you, Tertius. You were missed around! <3 Hope everything's good!

      • tertius_decimus

        Still alive, bitches!

        • Glad to see you are well! I have wanted to check in on you for awhile now.

          • tertius_decimus

            Couple of years back I found a Friend (yes, with capital “F”). I can whine as long as the living goes but in that regard I’m lucky bastard unlike those people with >1000 “friends” on Facebook. I love my friends.

    • J.R.

      but :'(

      • tertius_decimus

        I love you too! I love everyone today!

        • Me too! We have a cloudy day!!! <3

          • tertius_decimus

            Today was the rainiest and snowiest day of April. Still, I was riding my bike through cold weather with happy smile on my face and there were ZERO cyclists in the town this morning. Guess, I was alone who enjoyed riding in such unpleasant conditions. Sometimes you just enjoy the living. No matter what.

          • ZERO cyclist=ZERO fucks given 😀

            This is the best comment of today, bro!

          • tertius_decimus

            Thanks for posting this wonderful article. Gotta try few recipes!

          • Thanks to for reading, Tertius. I made it with a lot of love.

            Hey, how’s the photography? Any new photo made by you that you want to share?

          • tertius_decimus

            I have no camera and won’t own one for few years to come. But I can share couple shots of the past.

          • Sounds metal as funk! Glad you are doing well

          • J.R.

            These storms have really imbued the land with an a vibrancy and an energy that I am finding really rejuvenating. Of course finals are coming up to suck all that happiness away.

  • Guppusmaximus

    “Turn the kitchen in low fire to pre-cook the chicken.”

    Are you sure this isn’t the Venezuelan Black Merol Chicken ov Slow Architectural Destruction?!

    Seriously, though, sounds good. I can’t stand Leeks or Spring Onion and will have to saute the shit out of the white onion but I absolutely love heavily marinated / stewed chicken.

  • Lacertilian

    Making this on the weekend if I get time, thanks Link.
    I think I have access to all of the ingredients too, except maybe that 57 sauce.

  • Jesus Built My Hot Dog

    Definitely wanting to try these out, especially since I’ve never had Venezuelan food! Gracias, chapo!

  • Lacertilian

    Yup, this recipe is great, made a version of it last night and I will do it again.
    Thanks @linkleonhart:disqus.