Consumerism Sucks: A Black Friday Playlist

Look, we get it. There are some hot deals on those huge plasma screens you just have to have. But you should resist the urge because Black Friday sucks. So get down with your punk self and rock out against the man with our Black Friday Sucks playlist!

You see that? Those people aren’t running from bulls. They aren’t fleeing a tornado. They’re running to take advantage of some poor sad sacks who were unfortunate enough to get scheduled to work on the worst night of the year because sometimes middle America is hell. This is madness. You aren’t saving money by spending it on Black Friday. You’re just spending a little less than you would otherwise, but you’re still spending. Don’t be part of the man’s game. However, if you need another reminder not to go out today, read Joe’s post from last year on this very topic.

Black Friday is the antithesis of Thanksgiving, and participating in it is akin to pissing on the best elements of human nature. – Papa Joe

I asked our like-minded staff to give us recommendations for a punk playlist of anti-consumerist jams. Press play below and rage. Let’s remember to stay thankful too!

Written by:

Published on: November 27, 2015

Filled Under: Metal, Open Swim

Views: 1296

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  • ┼yree

    Have a happy day of pooping a lot.

    • Maik Beninton™

      Boy we don’t talk about poop in a long time.
      How is your intestine, Tyree?

      • ┼yree

        Good! After a much needed double flusher this morning.

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      Or a not-so-happy last night of indigestion in my case.

      • ┼yree

        Same. It was most brutal and half a carton of Tums later.

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          All I had to combat it was milk.

        • more beer

          Try Pepcid Completes. They are pricey but they work better than any antacid on the market.

    • Ground Beef Booger Riot

      *Pissgrave appears in a plume of smoke*

      • Dave Vincent’s Perm

        I hear pissgrave make a great curry

        • Ground Beef Booger Riot

          Judging by their artwork, they’d definitely make the world’s worst peanut sauce.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      PVVP

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm
  • Nativian Taco

    I’m the most nonconformist by not conforming with the rest of you and buying a big ass tv and a PS4.

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      I’m not so much against the consumerism, more that I just prefer to be a bit civilized about it. I’m not gonna battle someone to the death over a 32″ HDTV.

      • Nativian Taco

        You would if you tried to go for a bigger HDTV than that.

        • BEARD-SPLITTER

          *goes to pawn shop
          *gets better deal than black friday sale

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Even my high end yuppie neighborhood has a pawn shop.

          • Nativian Taco

            That sounds like a really good pawn shop.

          • Nativian Taco

            *acknowledges good deal at pawn shop*
            *acknowledges how lucky you are*

  • KJM, Shake Zula

    Happy Leftovers Day! All I’m buying today is soda and milk, and that happened hours ago.

    • Ground Beef Booger Riot

      Beer, it’s what’s for breakfast. :-p

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        My alarm clock is always set at 4:20.

  • COAL ROLL

    If you’re poor

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    I may actually buy some stuff today, but strictly metal!

    • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

      Music sales are the best sales. Cheap Metal is the best Metal.

  • KJM, Shake Zula

    WHATDAFUCKISDIS?! BLAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6se2QDVUbg

  • Ground Beef Booger Riot

    Black Friday shopping (which, thankfully I’m not doing. My roomies aren’t so fortunate) at least keeps the weirdos in one place (aka, Walmart). Is it odd in the fact that Walmart will happily kick homeless people off their lots in a second, but they’ll let the Black Friday shoppers camp out in front of their stores for 3-4 days?

  • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

    https://youtu.be/xqXAW2snGMI

    Sorry, I had to..

    • Ground Beef Booger Riot

      Why be sorry? Oingo Boingo RULES!!!!!

      • Boss the “Crimson King” Ross

        All the anti-capitalism songs on the playlist, i had to out the anti-anti-capitalism song.

        But yes, OINGO BOINGO rules!

        • Ground Beef Booger Riot

          One of the best songs about consumerism.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCs0D6AJUuM

          • Salvador Dalí Lama

            KJ really loves breaking down Western culture in their lyrics.

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            Heard their new one?

          • Salvador Dalí Lama

            You bet your sweet bippy

  • Ground Beef Booger Riot
    • KJM, Shake Zula

      Watch while playing Yakkety Sax in the background.

      • Ground Beef Booger Riot

        Yep! I refuse to shop at Walmart, and it’s one of the scariest places on earth.

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          If I want tech shit, I’ll buy online. If I need something right now, I’m a 15 minute bus ride away from Best Buy, Target, and an entire high end shopping mall that I haven’t even been to yet.

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            Sadly, the Asian market I usually go to is closed today.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          Do not make eye contact with Walmart shoppers; they will swallow your soul

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            Lol, watch the Walgreens doc I posted. 😉

  • Ground Beef Booger Riot
  • CyberneticOrganism

    Fuck Black Friday forever. Hail, uh… trees & shit I guess.

  • RJA

    dark descent has 15% off

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    I worked from midnight to 8. I work 12 to 5 at my other job.

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      Just make sure you get at least 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep a “night” or Teh Sanity Daemons will come 4 U.

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        I got 1 hour of sleep when I got home from my midnight to 8.

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          Yeah, but will you get to sleep after the 12-5?

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Probably.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            GO SLEEP NOW.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Ain’t nobody got time fo dat.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Apparently not. I just hope he’s getting paid well.

          • more beer

            He works retail in the mall. These types of jobs are not known for having high wages.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            He’s also only 20, lives at home, and doesn’t drive. He probably doesn’t have much in the way of expenses.

          • more beer

            No probably not. He also doesn’t have a really firm grip on the mass transit in his area either. So he probably doesn’t stray to far from home. Since I have told him how to get places using it in the past. I haven’t lived there in almost 15 years and still know my way around there better than he does.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I have online Christmas shopping to do though. They have the Elton John 5.1 SACDS on Amazon for 15 dollars.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            That shouldn’t take too long unless you’re on dial-up. If you pass out on your job, you’re no good to anybody. SLEEP.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I just woke up from my sleep.

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot
    • Óðinn
  • KJM, Shake Zula
  • Ground Beef Booger Riot
    • Guppusmaximus

      I’ve loved this man’s comedy since I can remember however, I can’t agree that the Constitution & Declaration of Independence are bullshit.

      • Ground Beef Booger Riot

        In and of themselves, no. But it’s what our founding fathers did with the things that is bullshit.

  • RustyShackleford

    You guys are all awesome. Papa Joe keepin shit real up in here haha. Killer playlist. Yep

  • Eliza

    Black Friday sales is where humanity’s real face shows.

    • BEARD-SPLITTER

      They have black friday sales over there?

      • Eliza

        Yes, though I believe that the they don’t actually reduce the prices even by 1%.

        • BEARD-SPLITTER

          Goddamn black friday

          • Eliza

            I couldn’t have said it better.

        • Maik Beninton™

          lol.
          Here they make scheems, raise the prise and then give a discount, making the price slightly lower than the original.

          • Eliza

            They probably do something similar over here as well.

          • Maik Beninton™

            These days I saw a meme with a new idea, raise the price but charge no shipping.

          • Eliza

            Somehow, that actually doesn’t sound very unlikely.

        • Ground Beef Booger Riot

          Some places here will give you just enough of a discount to cover tax. Which really means you’re pretty much paying the same price. People don’t think about that though when they see the word ‘sale’.

          • Eliza

            The masses are easily controlled. That’s a well-known truth.

  • Ground Beef Booger Riot
  • Ground Beef Booger Riot
  • Salvador Dalí Lama

    Remember when Thanksgiving was a legitimate holiday where families would get to sit together all day, eat copious amounts of food, and most likely get annoyed by each other, but somehow still enjoy themselves in the end? I miss those days. This isn’t my typically sarcastic snark either.

    Now Thanksgiving has become a few hours long for dinner or lunch, then people get to go to work either later on, or at an ungodly hour because of Black Friday. Even a shit holiday like Columbus Day brings more peace and relaxation for families. This isn’t right. Thanksgiving is a day you should spend hanging around your family, if you can, and appreciate what you have. Problem is no one is grateful for fucking anything anymore, and would rather buy some gadgets and shit at 30% off instead. People would rather sit in a fucking overnight line than spend time with their loved ones while they have the chance. Do they not realize death happens quick, or are these people that hollow and cheap where they’d rather waste their lives and contribute to consumerism instead of being with people who (potentially) care for them? I hate this construct we’re in more each day.

    Sorry for the mindless essay/rant thing. It just pisses me off.

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      Agreed. The older I get, the more I realize that time is short. I’d like to spend however little or much I have left enjoying myself and having a good time.

      • BEARD-SPLITTER

        Aka gettin higher than fuck and watching rick and morty

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          Slow Mobius, hit me with the clock beat!!

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Okay, quit showing off Slow Mobius

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Sorry, bro…

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            For some reason im watching Pirates of the Carribean, and Avatar is about to come on

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I don’t wanna OD on Rick And Morty considering the lack of episodes, so I’ll wait until tomorrow for more. I’ll probably tap out on this day soon.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Have you watched Mike Tyson Mysteries?

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Not yet.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            You gotta get on that

          • BEARD-SPLITTER
  • Paris Hilton

    Yeah man! Fuck consumerism! All you need is the music! I’m tired of these corporations pulling the wool over our eyes trying to sell us shit we don’t need. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get at least 10 more records today for my collection, and I’m stuck in an eBay bidding war with some dick over a rare 1987 Morbid Angel tour t-shirt. After I win it I’ll probably smash some Fallout 4 to celebrate.

    -Sent from my iPhone

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm

      1987 morbid Angel tour shirt? Could you post a couple photos of it if you win?

  • BEARD-SPLITTER

    PS – anyone who buys a plasma is a dummy

    • what’s wrong with better picture quality?

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        Don’t plasma TVs die faster? I usually go with LCD or LED(like I just bought for Mom).

        • probably so. but by the time it dies, we’ll be shopping for holograms or some shit

        • BEARD-SPLITTER

          Not only do they fail faster but, even after years of them being out, they still have problems with burn ins, and having to refill plasma (if they last that long). I would even argue the picture quality is inferior.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            This is what I have at home for movie watching, 5 years and still going strong.

            http://support.hp.com/us-en/document/c01806773

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Only 27″? Cmon, son

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            It’s only about 3 ft from my face, don’t need more than that.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Lol atm we have 3 tvs, 46, 36, 32

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            If I’d bought it more recently it would be bigger. I also live in a Harry Potter closet(pretty much) so space is at a premium.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Word. Thats understandable

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            It’s a small 2-bdrm place that’s on the top floor of a 3 floor house, what’s commonly referred to around here as a “triple-decker”. Somerville’s full of them.

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            I often end up laying a ‘triple decker’ after a few dollar store beef and bean burritos.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            (Picard facepalm)

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            77,000 people + 4 sq miles of space = Somerville, MA

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Thsts why i ♡ the mountains

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I can’t sleep at night if it’s too quiet.

          • more beer

            When I first moved out of New York. It took months to get used to get used too the quiet. Sleeping was very difficult.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            My best friend only lives about a 10 minute drive from Portland, ME. I can’t fall asleep when I crash at his place. I get maybe 3-4 hours worth if I’m lucky.

          • more beer

            To this day I need some sort of noise to sleep.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            I understand a fan or something but road noise and sirens and shit keeps me from sleeping.

            Though the train passes by my place too

          • more beer

            But when you live with that for years you get used to it. I find utter silence deafening.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            From about 2AM to 6AM, it’s fairly quiet in my neighborhood. That’s when the buses and subways(for the most part) are shut down.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            I live right off one of the citys main throroughfares, but in the winter, after tourists leave, its all quiet on the western front after about 7 or 8

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot
          • KJM, Shake Zula

            That would be too much. At least around here the trains are under the houses.

          • Ground Beef Booger Riot

            You can hear the train, which is a 5 minute walk from my place, here and there. Thankfully not in my room though.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            You’re a wizard, KJM..

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            If Herr Schmitty had stayed for a few extra minutes, he would’ve ended up being sacrificed to an Elder God in my basement.

        • Guppusmaximus

          FYI, LED just denotes what source of back-light is being used. It’s still LCD. The older ones used Fluorescent. *Runs miles away from where any lockers exist*

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Fine with me. I honestly didn’t know that.

          • Guppusmaximus

            Yea, it’s just odd how the marketing for that change got so convoluted for no reason. Now they have active zones. All of this in the name of being green. Which is probably a good thing though I can’t think straight over the hum of the electricity being drained by the companies manufacturing them & those who sell ’em…

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      OT: I’m about to ‘Get Schwifty’ all up in here. #StayRickAndMorty

  • brokensnow
  • Dagon

    Cyber Monday is the shit though.

    Signed, capitalist pigfish

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Cyborg Monday

  • Weirdly enough, Black Friday in Venezuela means the beginning of the economical problems of the country.

    In 1983, the then-goverment institutionalized the dollar outcomes, which resulted in more than three decades of corruption and regulated market. The crisis of the external debt in Latin América was just another factor that make it worse and since then, the country had never stabilized that much due internal and external factors.

    Filth.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1Y9oOusoQs

  • Xinen

    This is not what I expected from the former Pres. Hell, consumerism should be encouraged and praised should it not? Surely though one could celebrate by watching (torrenting) Romero’s Dawn of the Dead, it’d be a fitting tribute.

    • what a classic. the remake isn’t half bad either!

  • KJM, Shake Zula

    SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT.

    • BEARD-SPLITTER

      +infinity

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        Bird Person >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

        • BEARD-SPLITTER

          Have you finished s2 yet?

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Halfway through. I’ve had some things spoiled for me, but not what leads to it all. Episode 6 on deck now.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Fuckin people never stop spoilin

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            KEEP SUMMER SAFE

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            I bet shed be hot if she were real

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Agreed.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I’m Tiny Rick, bitch!!

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Shit, i forgot i mightve spoiled one lol

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I’ve been hearing about Tiny Rick since last Summer, no big whoop.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Eatin’ some muthafuckin ice cream! WOOO!!

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Too bad we probably have another year until season 3 starts.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            At least

  • Waynecro

    I’m surprised people still go to brick-and-mortar stores for Black Friday now that the internet exists. I’ve been deleting online-sale emails all week.

  • RJA

    I know most of you don’t give 2 shits – but my Iowa Hawkeyes are 12-0. If I do not take this opportunity to gloat it would be a mistake, because it may not happen again in my lifetime.
    good day.

  • BEARD-SPLITTER
  • Ground Beef Booger Riot
  • C. Wright Mills