Come On and Slam with Lamb of God, Death Grips, and Taylor Swift!

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I’m still deeply, deeply embittered by the fact that one of my first posts for the Toilet was ripped off and uncredited by pretty much every other metal blog out there. Buncha jive turkeys. Still, I marshaled on in the face of this travesty and continued to strive to bring you fine folks articles full of journalistic integrity. Well, as fate would have it, this Good Friday has afforded me an opportunity to revisit the land of Slamshead and bask in the glory that is the Slam community.

No, I’m not talking about that slam community. I’m of course referring to the dedicated remix community that seeks to intertwine the gilded fabric of Space Jam into every other artistic endeavor. It is my great pleasure to once again unveil some quality slams for you good people. I’m already operating under the conceit that you’re all aware Space Jam is the greatest film of all time, so rather than pondering the philosophical reasons for the melding of that defining work with other objets d’art, I instead wanted to identify individual slams that will likely appeal to certain demographics in our fine bowl. Without further adieu, here are the slams I’ve hand-picked for you my friends.


 

Jamneck

Look, I know Lamb of God aren’t exactly that troo or kvlt, but I do know there are probably two or three of you who do dig them. Therefore, it makes perfect sense to amalgamate LoG’s biggest hit with the most anthemic song ever written. Plus, this is one of the few metal slams I could find.

____________

Eclipse of the Slam

This one’s for me. And Spear. And Randall Thor. For those of you not in the know, my continuity of nerdy, sex-repelling interests flows something like this.

nerd2

I’m a big fan of the Legend of Zelda series, and I have been for a long, long time. This slam, featuring a cut-up of a track off Hyrule Warriors, touches me in ways that if Link touched me like that, I’d say, “Awwwwww yeeaaaahhhh!”

https://soundcloud.com/sultanofslams/eclipse-of-the-slam-hyrule-slammers-more-in-description

____________

NutSlammer

I know I’m not the only one ’round these parts that pines for Savatage. Still, if you’re forced to listen to Chrimbus music, Trans-Siberian Orchestra, the spiritual successor of Savatage, are about as good as it gets. Save this slam for next festivus then challenge your granny to a dunking contest or the Feats of Strength. This will surely give your flimsy arms the power to overcome.

____________

Neutral Slam Hotel

If Death Grips, Smash Mouth, and Neutral Milk Hotel were different liquors, you’d probably never think to mix them together in a cocktail. Yet, that’s what this audacious slammer has done, and it turns out Space Jam is the key ingredient to make the whole thing do down smooth. Ed and the other hiphopheads should dig this. Or hipster Austinites with their jean-bottoms rolled up.

____________

Come On Slam It Off

This one’s for Joe. Hey Tay-Tay, please answer his calls. I can’t handle hearing him cry over the phone anymore.

https://soundcloud.com/addison_born/come-on-slam-it-off-taylor-swift-vs-quad-city-djs

All of these slams via http://www.reddit.com/r/comeonandslam/. Go exploring and find your own favorite slam, then share it in the comments.

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  • Let me settle this Tay-Tay vs. Katy bullshit once and for all: THEY BOTH SUCK SHIT.

    • George Clarke

      nah

      katy >>>>>>>

    • Metaphysical Anus

      Truth has been spoken!

    • YOU ARE THE ONE THAT SUCKS.

    • Formerly Known As Oli Sykes

      Taylor is better. She makes tolerable music now (Except for Shake It Off, that song can go die).

    • Scrimm

      Well, you’re half right.

    • Edward/Breegrodamus™

      If 1989 was released this year I would likely non-ironically add it to my EOTY list. I’ve been playing a few songs from that a lot. Moose they can have my kvlt card, too, lol, IDGAF

      • Not on Spotify. Will not pay for or pirate.

      • Scrimm

        I can’t believe I’m saying this but I don’t hate it.

    • Guacamole Jim
      • I’m not a violent person.

        But I really really would like to punch that guy and make him irreconoscible.

        • He does have one of those faces that just screams “PUNCH ME.”

          • Herr Schmitty

            It’s true- he’s also a fantastically arrogant asshole (the character he plays, anyway) whose behavior also screams ‘PUNCH ME.’ He’s just exceedingly punchable.

        • Dr. Dubz

          That’s the guy from Workaholics, right?

          • Guacamole Jim

            Yeah. He is a chode, but that’s not the point!

        • Shrimp ov Bad Opinions

          GRAMMAR NAZI WARNING: Irreconoscible is not a word, you mean unrecognizable.
          I used to make up words half italian half english all the time too.

          • I’m so pissed off that I didn’t even used the google traductor.

            I’m spanglish.

          • Dr. Dubz

            Link is from Venezuela

          • Shrimp ov Bad Opinions

            I know, and I’m from Italy.

          • Herr Schmitty

            I know, and I’m from Maine. I have (not-so) secret Maine powers that allow me to go outside in t-shirts when it’s 30 F outside and not be cold.

          • <3

    • Mother Shabubu III

      I’m just guessing, on a piggish aesthetic level, Tay-Tay looks better sans makeup than Katy, but I’m guessing Katy might be kinkier judging by all the latex and growing up a catholic girl… decisions….

      • I think they both look great. Their music is just far more “generic” or whatever than the stuff that normally gets jeered by The Trve Tryhards 😛

    • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

      I agree on Tay Tay but I tolerate Katy. Rihanna is where it’s at.

      • Siqq Burnington

        It was until she went full slutwave.

    • JWG

      I, too, disagree with your sentiment. But at least you’re not having a go at any of my shortlist of (young, female) top40 pop artists that I dig.

      I never said that I’d be tr00 without exception.

      • I like Lorde.

        I’ve never been tr00 and I don’t care. My first concert was Quiet Riot in 1984 and I’m not one bit ashamed because it wasn’t Exciter or some band nobody really gave a shit about until the internet made everyone connoisseurs of Real Metuhl. I couldn’t even find records and tapes by bands like that most of the time on a kid’s budget. Neither could anyone else that didn’t own a record store in major metropolitan areas.

        • more beer

          I was listening to Exciter back then.

          • Bet you were listening to other stuff too since there wasn’t a whole lot of choices in most record stores then.

            My brother had stuff like Mercyful Fate and Tyrant’s Legions of the Dead…but that’s because he had that one friend who would mail order stuff like that without ever hearing it first. Dubbed cassettes for all! I used to buy thrash tapes and hair records in the same day because I would have less than 25 bucks and that’s the best stuff I could find. Didn’t think twice about what some tryhards on computers would think decades later haha.

          • more beer

            I did a lot of tape trading back then also. I lived close to NYC so we would go to the city and hit all of the record stores there. There were also a few really good small specialized record stores where I lived. Mostly punk and metal. I probably had it a little easier than you did. But it certainly wasn`t so easy like it is now. Plus back then when you went to shows every band around was giving out their demos. Now you just go to their facebook page. Plus when a band was handing out demos you met them and talked to them. It was more personal.

          • I imagine it was definitely easier being close to a huge city. I always knew of bands like Exciter from label ads in metal mags…but they hardly ever covered bands like that.

            I got a lot of my tapes from Columbia House Record Club 😛 Mostly major label releases there.

    • CONANtheDjentlyFuckingKING

      It’s true, praying for video to turn up.

  • B00mhauer

    How dare anyone adulterate the already excellent Death Grips. I shall find him and kill him. YOU’LL SEE FOOTAGE

    • Dr. Dubz

      I actually really like this mashup. Check it.

  • Formerly Known As Oli Sykes

    I was not aware of this, especially considering my love of Thomas The Tank Engine mashups. I am disturbed by this fact.

    • Dr. Dubz

      You mean Thomas the Dank Engine?

      • Formerly Known As Oli Sykes

        Yes, I mean, they made Disturbed semi-decent, how the fuck is that possible.

    • the original Coal Roller

  • Herr Schmitty

    That time graph entitled Legacy of Shame? I love it. I love everything about it. Kudos!

    • Dr. Dubz

      If you can’t laugh at yourself…

    • I kinda wanted to make my own after seeing his.

      • Herr Schmitty

        Exactly how I reacted; I want to copycat the shit out of that.

        • Dr. Dubz

          I actually used an online timeline maker.

      • EsusMoose

        Mine would be a dense cluster of nerd things. At least I never got into warhammer or star trek

        • I got really into randomly throwing away a college roommate’s war hammer figurines. It was a good hobby.

          • Dr. Dubz

            Dang. Those things are expensive. Rill expensive. Never got into it because (A) I don’t have money and (B) I don’t want to spend all my free time painting figurines.

          • Herr Schmitty

            But do you have video of him frantically searching for them? Like, tossing cheeto husks and old raisinettes out of the couch’s crevices in a futile attempt to recover his precious?

          • He had so many that he never noticed! And I only did this because he was an awful, awful person and he needed at least SOME karmic payback for being a terrible garbage person.

          • I would love to hear more about this terrible person.

            GL

          • Herr Schmitty

            Cosigned.

            HS

          • I consider it in poor taste to enter the two-bed bedroom you share with your roommate and bang your horrible significant other while your roommate is in bed. Especially if your roommate isn’t yet asleep. And it’s an especially poor move to make shitty jokes at the expense of your currently in-the-room, not-sleeping roommate WHILE banging your horrible significant other.

          • Dr. Dubz

            That’s poor form!

          • HessianHunter

            A friend’s shitty college roommate broke my friend’s futon by fucking my friend’s ex-girlfriend on it. It’s so hilariously dickheaded it’s almost hard to be mad about.

          • “Hey dickweed! Your shitty fuckin’ futon broke under the weight of your girlfriend’s fat ass. Give me a smoke.”

          • Dr. Dubz

            He probably then helped himself to the last Yellow Belly in the fridge.

          • Punishable by death.

          • Let it all out Joe. I want more instances of terrible-ness. Do not hold back.

          • more beer

            Hobbies like that rule. I have a very ocd friend that hates when things are moved from their place. I randomly move things around in his house when I`m there.

        • KJM

          I’ve been a Doctor Who fan since the late 70s and I watch Blake’s 7 & Moonbase 3. Trek fans stuff me into lockers and jack me for my lunch money.

          • EsusMoose

            I purposely left out Doctor Who mostly because I don’t know how I should classify them, anglophiles or England’s version of star trek nerds? It’s a tough question I don’t expect to answer any time soon

          • KJM

            Definitely England’s version of Trekkies, except DW nerds were around first.

    • we all should do personal Legacy of Shame and share it.

      I want to see how shameful you are <3.

      • Herr Schmitty

        Brother man, the shameful things I did in 2011 and 2012 alone make Dr. Dubz look like Mother Theresa 😉

  • Shrimp ov Bad Opinions

    I like the Slamthas as the title picture thing. Also, the Lamb of God slam sounds way too good.

  • Spear

    Slamamari Jamacy – Quad City DJs vs. Yu Miyake: https://youtu.be/jgnOrcWXGd4

    • Fuuuuuuu

    • Dr. Dubz

      Man, I spent way too much time looking for these the other day.

      • Spear

        You can never spend too much time on these.

      • George Clarke

        it was worth it

  • Edward/Breegrodamus™

    Death Grips + anything merits a listen.

    • Death Grips + A7X or 5FDP? 😉

      • Edward/Breegrodamus™

        If someone skillfully mashed up the Grips with either it would merit me checking it out, lol.

        • Lacertilian

          Anyone with skill though, would surely not mix DG w/ A7X.
          Conundrium

  • George Clarke

    this dg smash mouth milk hotel thing is just beautiful

    • Dr. Dubz

      It’s surprisingly good.

  • Dagon

    Mr. Clutson showed me mash ups of raps and Zelda’s ocarina tunes. That shit is amazing.

  • Spear

    Add Power Rangers to 1994 and move Heavy Metal to 2007 on that timeline and that’s basically my life story.

    • Dr. Dubz

      Weirdly enough I didn’t like Power Rangers as a kid. Although now that I’m thinking about it, I should have put Pokemon on that timeline. And really, it was just nu metal until 2006.

      • Spear

        I didn’t get that into Pokemon when I was younger, but I have spent a shameful amount of my adult life breeding Skarmorys.

        • Dr. Dubz

          There was a period last winter when both masterlord and I were playing Emerald on emulators. Then I got Smash Bros.

          • Emerald and Gold/Silver are one of my favorites games ever.

            #ToiletConfession

          • Herr Schmitty

            Speaking of which, WHEN will there be a ToH game of Smash?!

          • Dr. Dubz

            I still need to pick it up for the Wii U. This summer, Schmitty.

  • Tyree
  • For the Lich King!

    http://i.imgur.com/WAzNMv0.gif

    • Dr. Dubz

      Is this right before he fights Illidan?

      • Stockhausen

        Is this right now that you’re a nerd?

        • Dr. Dubz

          The Legacy of Sham persists, jerkhausen.

          • Herr Schmitty

            It’s cool. The guitarist/clean vocalist from BCI said Stockhausen is a total poser the other night, I have it on the record.

          • Herr Schmitty

            (I kid, he didn’t really say that, he said Stocky is a fine chap.)

          • Stockhausen

            Haha. I trust his opinion on poser accusations, even if I’m on the wrong side of it.

          • Stockhausen

            I sham, therefore I am.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            You’re gonna love his nuts.

          • more beer

            You know this guy got busted for beating a hooker. She bit his tongue and he beat her ass. The real question is who sticks their tongue in a hookers mouth? All the sham wow`s in the world can`t clean that up.

          • Legacy of Shame: Soul Reaver
            /stuffs own body into locker

          • #edgy

            But, awesome <3.

          • Herr Schmitty

            It’s for the best that you self-stuffed there. A pre-emptive Locker Stuff can do wonders!

      • Shrimp ov Bad Opinions

        WotLK cinematic, he couldn’t even get his ass to the helm before fighting Illidan. (Joe pls punch me).

      • I think it’s from the Wrath of the Lich King expansion cinemamtic.

  • I’M ON VACATION!

    Has no one paired the space jam theme with some actual slam? There’s a real opportunity for irony/double entendres/whatever here and everyone is letting it slip the fuck by.

    • Dr. Dubz

      Oh crap! You’re right!

    • Stockhausen

      I think you’ve found your calling.

      • I’M ON VACATION!

        Indeed I have. Forget law school.

        • Stockhausen

          Psh, there’s no future in careers that have futures.

    • I was hoping for real slam!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eJ93smupI0

  • The Beargod

    Slit your wrists, salt the wounds.
    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ebkbYXmAXeo

  • Scrimm

    Oh man I want the new version of Dark Souls 2. Damn being broke, damn it!

    • Dr. Dubz

      They have some Dark Souls and Bloodborne slams.

    • Edward/Breegrodamus™

      Jack Bauer and God were telling me that was getting a PS4 reissue.

      I’m a beast in Bloodborne now. A beast.

      • Scrimm

        Yeah it comes out today. I have no ps4 though so no Bloodborne. I’m an Xbone man.

  • I happen to be one of the 3 or 4 people who love Lamb of God.

    • Edward/Breegrodamus™
      • Herr Schmitty

        I’m an Omerta man myself.

        • The drum production on this song/album is about the only thing I really care for. Also, at 1:08 ish, I love when the song opens up.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8bZ4uoY8g4

        • Mother Shabubu III

          Their beef jerky is okay. OH Omerta.

        • Call the Slambulance

          Omerta is hard as fuqq.

      • Dr. Dubz

        This is the remastered version. I think a lot of people who bash LoG still dig this album.

        • Edward/Breegrodamus™

          I remember when that got remastered, the internet was abuzz about it.

      • The remastered version is so much better than the original it’s not even funny.

    • Herr Schmitty

      I don’t love them, but I do like ’em and have gone to see ’em a few times. Fun live show- some of the most dangerous mosh pits I ever saw in FL.

      • Amen to that. I saw them in Orlando with Hatebreed. Still one of the craziest shows I’ve been to.

    • Stockhausen
    • Dr. Dubz

      I dig Sacrament.

      • Wrath is their strongest, imo. I’d write something post-length about it, but I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t fit neatly with our other series (like Porcelain Throne), and I don’t think anyone cares to read about me fanboying about one of my favorite records from a band everyone’s heard of already.

        • No, pretty sure that’s exactly why this site exists! Write what you love!

        • Dr. Dubz

          I dig Wrath too!

        • J.R.

          I’ve never heard it! Write it up! Get me interested!

        • Lacertilian

          Ashes Of The Wake is surely their peak (production broke As The Palaces Burn for the most part – sorry @James_Jimmy_Mcnulty:disqus).

          • AotW may be their most interesting musically, but Wrath is what brought their whole career around. It was part of the technicality of Ashes, with Sacrament’s ear for catchy songwriting and AtPB’s energy and aggression.

          • Lacertilian

            To me Wrath just proved that they could continue to write interesting music beyond their 3 most highly regarded albums.
            Even those 3 bonus tracks on Wrath were quality. Reclamation continued their earlier trend of a more involved/diverse sounding final track (as with AoTW & AtPB).

    • I’m not a Lamb of God fan, it’s just not my regular vibes/style.

      But this song is very good:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPf8BR7YYkw

      • I don’t like the “narration” so much, but that song brings the jamz.

    • RustyShackleford

      I am one of them. No shame!

    • Hail and Kill

      As the Palaces Burn is in my top 10 all time

  • Mother Shabubu III

    “A Legacy of Shame”

    You just reminded me of The Red Chord. Now I cry. Thanks a lot, jerkface.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUMF8Mtgwq4

    • Dr. Dubz

      Send the Death Storm at me, Shabubu.

      • Mother Shabubu III

        Okay, a blizzard of AIDS cum commin’ at ya!

    • That was your 666th comment.

      m/m/

      GL

    • Lacertilian

      Song rips.

  • Mother Shabubu III

    Also; can we please take the time to acknowledge how awful the chorus of “Redneck” is please?

    • *amen*

    • Dr. Dubz

      Forced use of F-bomb is forced.

      • Mother Shabubu III

        If it didn’t have the “motherfuckin'” in it, you’d be hearing it played at your local sporting event.

        That is, if that awful, formulaic EDM crap isn’t being used (kicksnarekicksnarekicksnare + build up + drop + break + build up pt 2 + break + ending kicksnarekicksnare = every EDM song I’ve ever heard.).

        • KimJongUn’s Crunchy Chest Hair

          You’ll love my new article if it gets submitted, speaking of EDM and EDM hipsters! Basically it’s about new school industrial. Playing some of the cuts I put on there is to an EDM fan what Krisiun is like to a Mumford And Sons fan.

      • Scrimm

        That irritates me more than the use of the words themselves(like I have room to talk, what with my sailor’s mouth and all.) When someone has to put emphasis on it like it makes them cool or tough or something,drives me nuts.

  • BLOODBEARDE

    Did you get to shoot a crossbow with a customer at work today? I did.

    • Dr. Dubz

      I misread that as “Did you get to shoot a customer with a crossbow today?”

      • BLOODBEARDE

        I stole the crossbow too

      • KimJongUn’s Crunchy Chest Hair

        That would most likely be at a Walmart. In Florida.

  • KimJongUn’s Crunchy Chest Hair

    Woohoo, finally got a new article written and submitted (about new school industrial, of course the harsh stuff. And of course, tendies)!

  • The only Slam I know here.

    http://youtu.be/7ADgCeYJMN4

  • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel
  • Guppusmaximus
  • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

    I love these. My friend introduced me to them when I entered college. I’ve heard so many of them.

  • Óðhinn