It’s Friday afternoon and things will never be the same.
I’m not going to soften this up for you, the musicians playing at Donald J. Trump’s inauguration are just about as bad as the PEOTUS himself. Just looking at the lineup makes me want to rattle off a whole dictionary of Trump-ian superlatives (SAD! TERRIBLE! LOW ENERGY!). This isn’t even getting to the real issue, which is that the American people elected a functionally illiterate and angry narcissist (not to mention the loser of the popular vote by nearly three million), who is going to lead the free world 140 characters at a time while still earning a profit from his businesses. I’m not going to lie to you, it’s some heavy shit, which is exactly why there should be some METAL bands playing at the inauguration. It’s no secret that the metal world has its fair share of MAGA-shitheads that would kill to perform at the swearing-in of an angry Oompa Loompa, so these are five acts that would be perfect.
The lines have been drawn. Steel, honed. The day has arrived. Who will be forced to leave the hall?
I listened to 89 bands that I’ve never even heard of, then tried to figure out what 2016 was all about.