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  • Wake Up and Get Some SLEEP (For Free!)

    By the time Dopesmoker finally received a proper release in 2003, Sleep had already been disbanded for about five years. Matt Pike moved on to bigger and heavier things with High on Fire, while Cisneros and Hakius apparently surpassed the human boundaries of intoxication and formed Om. Much to the dismay of Sleep fans a.k.a. stoned burnouts everywhere, it looked like we’d heard the last of them together. Well, guess what nerds? The somewhat-recently reunited band just released a single through Adult Swim’s weird little single’s series. It’s the first new song we’ve heard from Sleep in 18 years. So brush off all that Cheetoh-dust and get your lazy ass in here!

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    July 21, 2014 • Metal, New Stuff, News • Views: 1112

  • Review: Weird Al – Mandatory Fun

    For a parody artist to succeed in the music industry is a genuine feat. Even before the rise of the internet, pop music has always moved in such fast waters as to keep parodies from gaining popularity distinct of novelty. This is where the brilliance of an artist like Weird Al truly shows itself. While best known for his direct parodies like “Eat It” or “Smells Like Nirvana,” Yankovic shines brightest on his original songs. Songs like Alpocalypse’s “CNR” and “Craigslist” (stylistic parodies of the White Stripes and the Doors, respectively) showcase his ability as a gifted songwriter in his own right, a talent he flaunts in perfect form on his latest album, Mandatory Fun, with hilarious send-ups of artists like Cat Stevens and the Pixies.

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    July 18, 2014 • New Stuff, Nostalgia Boners, Reviews • Views: 1358

  • Chelsea Grin – Ashes to Ashes: Masterlord SteelDragon’s Decree

    Upon finding a suitably steamy batch of manure (preferably fresh from the bowels of an herbivore), the dung beetle will fashion it into a ball and roll it forward in a straight line over any and all obstacles. I recently watched a video in which a number of rather ambitious dung beetles pushed their respective fecal orbs up a small sand hill. Mysteriously, only one was able to conquer the dune, and it arrived at the peak swelling with pride in its feculent creation. With shining carapace it looked down at its beetle brothers – all pushing identical dung balls, but for some reason failing to clamber to the top.

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    July 18, 2014 • Metal, New Stuff, Reviews • Views: 1615

  • New Slug-Wrasslin’ Tunes Incoming

    Two slugs were sliming down a street…

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    July 18, 2014 • New Stuff • Views: 1142

  • Vintersorg – Naturbål: Masterlord SteelDragon’s Decree

    Masterlord SteelDragon has some time on his iron hands, and instead of searching for new employment or helping Mrs. SteelDragon out around the house, he’s been putting it to good use: sitting atop his skull-throne with nations as his footstool, and his dominion stretching ever before him. It’s given me the opportunity to listen to more music than usual, and one album in particular has been monopolizing my time. I don’t like waxing poetic because real men don’t wax anything ever, but Vintersorg‘s Naturbål is so deserving of your attention that I’m going to review it.

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    July 17, 2014 • Metal, New Stuff, Reviews • Views: 1373

  • Why It’s Important For You to Listen to Noble Beast

    When your favorite genre’s subject matter typically alternates between death, dying, killing, Satan, and dying, you need something to remind you that there are good things left in this world – like imagining a fantasy world that actually has good things in it. Where the winged dragon roams the skies above castle-crowned hills and everflowing streams. Where valor is prized above all and conflicts are reduced to the glorious simplicity of steel versus steel. Where climbing your staircase doesn’t make you gasp for air and you can hide your frankly impressive acne under an iron crafted helmet. Doesn’t that sound nice? Well, my bummed-out brethren, Noble Beast can take you there. Continue Reading

    July 17, 2014 • Metal, New Stuff • Views: 1870

  • Mutilation Rites Stream “Harbinger”

    I really appreciate it when a band writes lyrics unique to their own experience rather than simply vomiting the tired themes of their target genre; especially when those themes don’t apply to them in any meaningful way. For example, there’s something about a Brazilian Viking metal band that feels inauthentic to me. NYC-based black metal outfit Mutilation Rites seem to understand this, and their music comes off as honest and sincere because of it. Maybe they don’t need to write about Satan because they’ve seen true evil deep within the dead eyes of the good people of New York. And you know what’s more depressing than frostbitten Scandinavian winters? Trying to park your fucking car in New York City.

    July 16, 2014 • Metal, New Stuff • Views: 1405

  • OMG Listen To New Mammoth Grinder : )

    I’m going to fanboy out right now: Mammoth Grinder is my favorite metal band. Powered by Chris Ulsh (Power Trip, Hatred Surge, The Impalers), Mammoth Grinder consistently puts out tunes that make me want to hate mosh all over my cubicle.

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    July 16, 2014 • Metal, New Stuff • Views: 1260

  • Darkest Hour Release New Song “Rapture In Exile”

    Moments ago over on the Facebooks, Darkest Hour unveiled the 2nd track from their upcoming album.

    The band has been performing the track live on the Rockstar Energy Drink Mayhem Fest. If you didn’t see them there, this is your first chance to hear it. It’s called “Rapture In Exile” and it rips. I’m a sucker for any track that opens with “Come on Motherfuckers!”

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    July 15, 2014 • Metal, New Stuff • Views: 1394