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  • Record Store Day 2017: Every Punk & Metal Release Ranked

    So it’s come to this. Despite the best intentions of your parents, you’re a metalhead. Despite a decent public school education, you’re a record collector. Somewhere along the way you’ve made some extremely questionable decisions with your life and now you find yourself on a toilet-themed metal blog, reading about the exclusive records that will drop on Record Store Day. No one can truly help you now, but at the very least I can guide you to make the best purchases possible on this annual day of collector culture gone wild. These rankings are highly scientific, and as such, not open to debate. For further enlightenment, please see the 2015 and 2016 editions of this handy guide.

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    March 22, 2017 • Lists, Opinion • Views: 666

  • An Incomplete List Of Great Band Names

    We Butter The Bread With Butter will NOT be on this list. Continue Reading

    March 17, 2017 • Listmania, Lists • Views: 1214

  • The Undisputed Hierarchy of Tool Clones

    Love them or hate them, Tool has inspired a small but significant genre to emerge. Who gets the closest to recreating their unique sound?

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    March 15, 2017 • Lists, Metal, Opinion • Views: 2033

  • Don Songs – Sign of The Times: Prelude To An Orange Presidency

    It’s impossible not to notice the dramatic shift in the way the United States has started to govern since on or around January 20th of this foul year of 2017. Some guy, let’s call him Don, got a job as a civil servant and he’s been anything but thus far. His orange glow is the opposite of an aura, it’s more like the Earth sans an ozone layer and it’s trying to melt everyone down with impunity. As luck would have it, some of the world’s best and brightest in the metal and hardcore arena saw this coming. Gazing into their crystal ball, they rightly predicted the decay of our democratic institutions by way of Idiocracy. So here’s some songs from the past that tackled some relevant issues of the present and give us all a glimpse into where we are today. Continue Reading

    March 7, 2017 • Lists, Opinion • Views: 783

  • Five Metal Bands That SHOULD Be Playing The Super Bowl Halftime Show

    The best part about being an American male is having an excuse to do nothing on Sundays (and Monday night, Thursday, sometimes Saturdays), except pound some smooth pilsners, eat at least two pounds of wings, and watch God’s game. Watching large men getting paid to concuss themselves over and over again all day is not only fun, but arguably your duty as a God-loving patriot. Also, you must laugh at the commies who think the game is played only with their feet. HA! Wimps. Of course, as you all know, this coming Sunday is Man Christmas, and we need to have a very serious discussion about the elephant in the room: the halftime show.

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    February 3, 2017 • Lists, Opinion • Views: 1220

  • Five Metal Bands That SHOULD Be Playing the Inauguration

    I’m not going to soften this up for you, the musicians playing at Donald J. Trump’s inauguration are just about as bad as the PEOTUS himself. Just looking at the lineup makes me want to rattle off a whole dictionary of Trump-ian superlatives (SAD! TERRIBLE! LOW ENERGY!). This isn’t even getting to the real issue, which is that the American people elected a functionally illiterate and angry narcissist (not to mention the loser of the popular vote by nearly three million), who is going to lead the free world 140 characters at a time while still earning a profit from his businesses. I’m not going to lie to you, it’s some heavy shit, which is exactly why there should be some METAL bands playing at the inauguration. It’s no secret that the metal world has its fair share of MAGA-shitheads that would kill to perform at the swearing-in of an angry Oompa Loompa, so these are five acts that would be perfect.

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    January 19, 2017 • Lists, Opinion • Views: 2271

  • This Year in Dungeon Synth: MMXVI

    Welcome, once again, to the dungeon! Join Kaptain Carbon and myself as we spin tales of our favorite Dungeon Synth offerings from the highly productive year that was 2016.

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    January 5, 2017 • Listmania, Lists, Nerd Shit • Views: 1299

  • And the Winner of the ToH Community AOTY 2K16 Is…

    You voted for it, and now you’re stuck with it. Here’s Toilet ov Hell’s pick for the best album of 2K16.

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    December 13, 2016 • Listmania, Lists • Views: 1800

  • AOTY 2016 as Chosen by More CELEBRITY GUESTS

    It is my distinct pleasure to wrap up our week of year-end list decadence with some excellent suggestions from AutokratorChthe’ilistÆvangelist, and Slugdge. Let us romp and cavort like the Greeks of Olde as we revel in some great music with our pantheon selects.

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    December 9, 2016 • Listmania, Lists • Views: 2973

  • List Sells… But Who’s Buying? The Best Song from Each Megadeth Album

    LIIIIIIISTSSS… LIIIISTS SEEEEELLS… LIIIIIIISTSSS…

    LIIIISTS… LIIIIIIIISTS SEEEEEEEEEEELLSAAAUHGHGH…

    LIISTS SELLS… BUT WHO’S BUYING?

    LIISTS SELLS… BUT WHO’S BUYING?

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    November 29, 2016 • Lists, Metal • Views: 1212