Case Listings: 15-3301 – vod

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>02.02.2015
>To: Toilet ov Hell [toiletovhell@gmail.com]
>From: lenstruth@bzanda.com
>Subject: Case Listings

I see you that you’ve just put it all out there. The whole thing. This is on you. You want the truth? Here it is. This is your mess now.

-M.


Case Number 15-3301D | Case Name: ᑑᕐᖓᐃᑦ
Subject Identification: Code Name: vod | First Name: Dave | Last Name: Tremblay
Subject LocationCanada – Reliquary 1

Subject Information: Subject is a white non-Hispanic male of unknown age. Subject appears to be no older than 30-years-old, but this may be explained by contact with object 15-3301R. Subject is a Canadian resident believed to have made contact with 15-3301R while on vacation to Greenland in 2007. Due to the highly problematic nature of 15-3301R, the subject has been arrested and administered memory therapy; object 15-3301R has been cataloged and stored in Reliquary 1. Unfortunately, for every trace of the audio recordings of 15-3301R that are destroyed, new tracks surface on the internet, always under ambiguous titles like ᐃᓄᑑᕗᖅ and ᐊᓂᖅᓴᑕᖅᐹ. BZ&A correspondents are encouraged to vigilantly patrol known file-sharing and torrenting networks for encroachments.

BZ&A contractors were initially contacted to investigate mysterious occurrences off the coast of the [REDACTED] province in Canada. Upon reaching the site, contractors quickly discovered that subject 15-3301 had used object 15-3301R to play some sort of eschatological music at a concert with several disciples of an ancient pagan entity called Vod. When questioned, subject identified himself as the “Avatar of Vod” and proclaimed it was his destiny to hasten the second “Advent”. Before contractors could apprehend 15-3301 or secure 15-3301R, the subject played some notes on his instrument and caused a widespread panic in the gathering crowd. The subject disappeared into the crowd, and contact with the operatives was lost.

Northern headquarters dispatched more field agents to the site at [REDACTED], and those agents quickly discovered a panicked crowd and the desiccated corpses of both field agents. Operatives immediately questioned members of the crowd who described the event as follows:

Witness A: Man, it was surreal. He played this note that sounded like the gnarliest bass riff I’ve ever heard, I mean lower and deeper than anything Meshuggah or Gojira ever played, and it just caused us all to start moving like the waves. It was heavy, man, like unbelievably heavy. There was something shamanic about it though, you know? It was like we were witnessing a ritual. I guess that explains those weird ruins we saw come up out of the icy water. It was trippy, man, like more psychedelic than my best ayahuasca experience. It was fast and slow, just starting and stopping, rhythms colliding against rhythms, all bound by that oceanic groove like the pace of the waves rolling in to shore.

Witness B: I don’t know how one guy was generating that much sound. It almost sounded like there were machines backing him, like war machines and helicopters just generating brutal, blasting sound behind him. It wouldn’t stop. He’s out there on the sand with just a PA, playing stuff on his bass, and all of this unearthly sound is coming out of nowhere.

Witness C: It was all very sensual. There was a saxophone and a deep groove. I just felt my body shaking, trembling. Those sub-atomic rumblings were touching something in the very depths of my being, taking every fiber to Nirvana. It was orgasmic, and at that moment I felt a deeper connection with life here on Earth and beyond than I ever have. It was all very spiritual, like hearing angels sing us tiny humans lullabies while mother nature rocked us to sleep with her gentle caressing waves.

Witness D: I heard this deep, primal growl. It sounded like it was coming from the sea. I can’t explain it. I don’t think human vocal chords can do that. They shouldn’t do that! It sounded like something extremely large and extremely ancient was altering gravity with its voice. I’m certain I heard other voices too. It was all so chaotic and oh God I’m so scared.

After questioning witnesses for hours, the operatives contacted headquarters and requested back up. Mr. [REDACTED] at headquarters contacted our partners at [REDACTED] who promptly arrived on scene and performed Protocol Turrngait to induce amnesia in the witnesses. The operatives then took a Zodiac raft out to the ruins and investigated, discovering subject 15-3301 deep in an inner sanctum. Upon noticing the agents, the subject turned to them and muttered, “It is finished. The Die hath been cast. Now all the world will hear Vod’s song.” The subject then willingly went into custody and surrendered 15-3301R, saying it had served its purpose. The subject has since been released under surveillance, although 15-3301R remains at Reliquary 1 for further examination.

Attachment 15-3301A – Schematic of 15-3301R: Item 15-3301 appears to be a normal bass guitar, but esoteric bas reliefs in the form of [REDACTED] have been cut into its base. Apparently 15-3301 recorded the entirety of 15-3301S using only this bass guitar, his computer (found on his person in the ruins), and the potential aid of the alleged “Disciples of Vod.” BZ&A contractors are currently seeking these disciples for questioning.

Attachment 15-3301S  Audio Sample of ᑑᕐᖓᐃᑦ.

  • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

    Interesting. I’ll check these guys out.

    • You didn’t even read this, did you?

      • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

        I read it. It still interests me enough to listen to it though.

        • You read it all and listened to the song in less than two minutes?

          • Scrimm

            That’s pretty impressive.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            Haven’t heard the song yet but I did read it.

          • Tyree
          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I love this movie.

          • Tyree

            Jesus fucking Christ dude.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I apologize. I just got the joke.

          • I just fired off a horse laugh like a fucking buffoon.

          • Scrimm

            Right now I feel like using that shotgun suicide gif again.

        • why are you not sharing your ability to slow time with us you selfish fuck?

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I don’t know.

          • Commander Shepard

            you wouldn’t

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I haven’t had the ability forever.

  • “white non-Hispanic male”

    Even your reviews assert your racist streak, Mr. President.

    • Dr. Dubz

      I am cisgendered scum.

      • TheRedman(formerly God ov All)

        Check your privilege

        #triggered

      • old_man_doom

        TRIGGERED

    • Iugh, latinos are everywhere D:

      • The Beargod

        Goddamn Mexicans! They should crawl back to that goddamn “Africa” I keep hearing about!

    • Being white Hispanic male, tho.

  • Scrimm

    Yes!! Looking forward to reading this, but right now it’s off to work I go.

    • EMPLOYED SCRIMM ——> m/m/

      • Scrimm

        m/m/

        • more beer

          Congratulations!

    • Dr. Dubz

      It’s good to read those words you just wrote.

      • Scrimm

        Thank you sir, it feels good to write them.

    • Time to get dat paper!

    • TheRedman(formerly God ov All)

      Also going to work. Hope yours isn’t a call center job like mine is. Great to hear you found employment dude.

      • Scrimm

        Nope I held off on applying to those cause I hate the phone. Thanks man.

        • You must be more of a telegraph man. Nice.

          • Dr. Dubz

            I genuinely dislike calling people on the phone. I’d much, much rather communicate over email.

          • Scrimm

            Same.

          • TheRedman(formerly God ov All)

            I wish I could. Working in student loan collections is not stellar.

          • *off topic*

            Student loan debt <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

            GL

          • Dr. Dubz

            I live on a very tight budget so that I can pay mine off. My wife and I have been very aggressive about it.

          • I feel terrible for people who go to private schools and get raked across the coals. Public schools >>>>>>>>>>>>

            I feel very blessed that I am cutting it from a 10 year loan to just under 5 years. The shit is just terrible though….

          • TheRedman(formerly God ov All)

            Now that’s the way to do it.

          • Private schools are for suckers and rich people.

          • It is difficult working for a private university when I hold that very same view.

          • The benefit of being very strict with your finances is that you feel like a total badass once a month when you pay on it (at least I do). Actually, today was that day. I am still riding a bit high.

          • TheRedman(formerly God ov All)

            Tell me about it. I’m normally on the borrowers side that our rates are ridiculous. 1000 dollar a month payments because your loans interest rate is 11%? Are you fucking kidding me?

          • Unfortunately, I tend to blame a lot of the large debts of parents who let their kids (and themselves) take on huge debt to go to a “prestigious” school. Also, kids who are going to “play sports” in college that get wrapped up in playing in some D3 small po-dunk school paying 50k/year. People need to get over those ideas.

          • Dr. Dubz

            I don’t think everyone needs to go to college. Some kids would be better off in the military/in a trade/just doing regular work.

          • Also… community college>>>>>>>>> it is so affordable! Get those general education credits out of the way!

          • My experience is that they are a little easier to get a good grade on the general education courses.

          • The Beargod

            I kinda hate the fact that college/university is near a must hereparts.

          • If I could do it all over again, I would’ ve skipped college and went straight to IT.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            The thing about me is I’m self smart.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAlBvxjApf4

          • TheRedman(formerly God ov All)

            I called this one guy who borrowed 150,000 from us and then, years later, dropped out without finishing his degree. Now all of a sudden, he is shocked that he has to pay it back still. Those kinds of people I have no sympathy for.

          • Where I work, it is not uncommon for people who live on campus housing to put big signs that say ” 4 years..$120,000 later, Thanks!” I just shake my head – who would do that to themselves?

          • TheRedman(formerly God ov All)

            When I finally go back, you can bet I’m not borrowing that much. Fuck, I’ll take one class at a time if I have too.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            Amen, brother.

          • Your job sounds like the 8th circle of hell.

          • TheRedman(formerly God ov All)

            It is. But it’s a job and since me and my wife are becoming homeowners at 22 and 20 respectively (yes we are young’ins) it’s a job I need to keep cause it pays pretty well.

          • Herr Schmitty

            OH GOD, me too.

            I’ve tried to figure out why I hate it so much. Can’t tell if it’s because I hate holding things up to my face or if it’s because I hate the immediacy/urgency of a phone call…

          • TheRedman(formerly God ov All)

            I just hate people.

          • Guacamole Jim

            I’m the opposite – phone calls are quick, easy ways to get problems straightened out. Emails then become a follow-up, written chain to confirm that everything is okay, or the issue is being dealt with. But to try and start dialogue about a problem via email just creates all kinds of chaos.

            The same goes for text message with friends. Just give me a damn call, and the hours you would have spent texting me could turn into five minutes of good conversation.

          • Herr Schmitty

            YOU’RE INHUMAN.

            Or just friendly and Canadian. Maybe all of the above?

          • Guacamole Jim

            I’d go with all three. That and I dislike the overuse of technology (a problem I’ve been having with my job, but that’s a bitchfest for another time) and would rather see myself playing music, or being outside, than being tied to a cell phone text message conversation.

          • Herr Schmitty

            Do what I do: Receive an unwanted text in a chain, then throw your own phone in the trash and play music/be outside. They can never tie your time down if you refuse to let them!

          • Guacamole Jim

            hahahaha brilliant!!

          • Dr. Dubz

            Being in academia, I’ve wasted days of my time in meetings that could have been handled with a few quick emails.

          • Guacamole Jim

            Ah, but meetings are a different animal. Most meetings could be solved by an email memo, I agree with that. I’m more speaking to email as a method of back-and-forth communication.

          • Dr. Dubz

            I’m a work recluse.

          • Guacamole Jim

            “Any of you pussies want to bitch about waiting 2 weeks for an email that was obviously specially written? Then Fuck you. It cost 3 fucking dollars plus postage. Eat shit.

            “I’ve sent all your shit, but any of you faggots who complained are black listed. Fuck off.”

            – Dr. Dubz, aka Work Recluse

          • I have no idea how you beat the spam filter on that but good job. Solid joke!

          • seems like some of the verbiage should have flagged something!

          • Guacamole Jim

            I was wondering if it was going to get by. VICTORY!

  • That is a killer track. I am not sure how I am going to remember

    ᑑᕐᖓᐃᑦ though!

  • IT GOATS IT GOATS IT GOATS

    Dubz how can i bcome as smart as u?

    • Dr. Dubz

      I spent a whole lot of time in lockers as a kid.

      • IT GOATS IT GOATS IT GOATS

        I spent a whole lot of time eating grass/other things so that’s basically the same right?

        • Dr. Dubz

          More or less! Did you get to check out Ad Nauseam?

          • IT GOATS IT GOATS IT GOATS

            Oh yes I did, beautiful stuff dubya.

          • Dr. Dubz

            I’m glad 🙂

          • that was an insta-buy for me!

          • Dr. Dubz

            My salary is going up this summer, so soon I will be able to make more than one purchase a month!

    • you have to become a traffic doctor

    • Dr. Dubz
  • I almost commented that this sounds too low but I wisely turned up my headphones. Digging the sludgy parts.

    • Dr. Dubz

      The mix is really quiet, so that isn’t on you.

      • What is interesting about the mix is that you do not have to struggle to pick out the part you want to hear… you simple just listen to the part you wish to focus on. It is mixed quite well!

        • IT GOATS IT GOATS IT GOATS

          It’s one of the many advantages of a dynamic mix.

      • IT GOATS IT GOATS IT GOATS

        GOOD. We need more quiet mixes. When everything is loud, nothing is.

      • I actually just got new headphones for work so my regular volume is lower. Needed to turn it up a few notches for bandcamp.

  • Shrimp ov Bad Opinions

    On my phone right now, but can’t wait to listen to this. (Spoiler: mobile Disqus sux)

  • Spear

    Augh, why must class last so long? Gonna listen to this when I get home, assuming I haven’t forgotten about it in three hours. =|

    Cool write-up, though.

    • Dr. Dubz

      Thank you, Spearington.

      • Spear

        You are most welcome, Dubyanson.

  • Woah, this production is awesome. I would like to hear the entire album.

    Thanks, dubidubz.

  • Dr. Dubz

    FYI, vod has an album totally for free on bandcamp and one for name your price.

    • Tyree

      Don’t be a dick. Put some damn money down on the table.

      • Dr. Dubz

        Exactly. I don’t like calling “name your price” albums free.

        • Tyree

          Same.

        • Edward/Breegrodamus™

          We had that talk once, lol

    • The Beargod

      Jam Ham HammetyJammed.

      • The Beargod

        Actually 2 Free ones and 2 NYP’s

        • Dr. Dubz

          Ah, thanks for that correction!

          • The Beargod

            The pleasure, I am sure, was all mine.

    • Shrimp ov Bad Opinions

      Well hello there only thing I will be listening to for a week.

      • Dr. Dubz

        I’m glad you dig it. This guy basically just took the plunge from extended range that all these bands jocking Meshuggah have been threatening to do. Just forego the guitar completely and play rhythms

    • CT-12

      Thanks for letting me know man, this sounds pretty sick!

  • Formerly Known As Oli Sykes

    Metal that is mixed well and isn’t so loud its distorted to fuck, thats impressive.

    • Dr. Dubz

      I listen to this one on occasion.

  • Dr. Dubz

    Dudes, I actually hadn’t heard this album. It has a way more abrasive feel to it: http://music.voddoom.com/album/deciduus

  • Tyree

    New Infernal War song. Blast it!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gazZEbkoGg

  • HessianHunter

    These articles make me a very happy babby.

  • Stockhausen

    These Case Listings are making my body tingle.

    • Guacamole Jim
    • Dr. Dubz

      That’s just your Irish Spring body wash. Although if you dive into vod’s discography, don’t ignore deciduus.

      • Stockhausen

        Fun story: I got horribly, horribly ill with food poisoning once, where I spent a hideous day convulsing on the couch or exploding in the bathroom. I had a trash can with me when I wasn’t in the bathroom, and it had a small bit of Irish Spring bar soap in it. Whenever I barfed into the trash can (which was often), I caught a whiff of Irish Spring. To this day, I have horribly queasy memories every time I smell Irish Spring bar soap.

        • Dr. Dubz

          I associate The Haunted with food poisoning.

    • Hey Stocky, do you teach a indoor drumline?

      The WGI indoor percussion is going on across the street and it is rocking!

      https://wgi.org/contents/World-Championships.html

      • Stockhausen

        Nice! I marched indoor drumline for several years and competed there, then taught for a few years on and off. I was up at Championships last year, it’s always an awesome time. So you’re pretty close to that madness?

        • Indeed, I work literally right across from UD’s arena. I know they do the performances at a couple of different places. I have watched them on at least one occasion. Fun times!

      • J.R.

        Hey my old Highschool (Sparkman HIgh) was there Thursday kicking some serious tail! My cousin is in the band from Plainfield Indiana but I dont think they did as well. My grandparents were right across the street from you dude. Toilet Ov Connections, bruh