Brütal Brëws: Schous Kjelleren, Oslo’s Underground Brewery

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I recently had the incredible fortune to find myself in Norway, home to roughly 90% of black metal bands on the planet. It’s a well-known fact that 10 out of every 10 Norwegians are members of at least 6 different metal bands and can trace their family history back thousands of years to the days when mead was quaffed from freshly-cloven skulls amidst the flickering light of a roaring bonfire that consumed their enemies’ battlements and illuminated pale curtains of fog drifting over the vast fjords.

SKoslo_fjord

Hail Odin.

In all seriousness though, Norway is a staggeringly beautiful, bro-free country populated with friendly people and a thriving craft brewing scene that boasts several excellent microbreweries. One of these is Oslo’s Schous Brygerri, located a short walk from the downtown area, whose premises include an Italian restaurant that’ll serve you a giant plate of grilled octopus, a cocktail bar where you can gawk at how much better Osloans Osloites Oslans Oslo citizens are dressed than you, and an underground taproom that feels like it’s been retrofitted from a medieval wine cellar… or torture chamber.

SKoslo_building

An Oslo bus transports several black metal bands to their rehearsal space.

Walk behind the restaurant and you’ll find a small building with a staircase leading down to a cellar taproom. It’s dark. Very dark. Only some ancient-looking light fixtures provide dim, warm illumination, just enough to see the pristine copper tanks shining from behind the bar, matching the earthen brown and crimson of the arched brick ceiling.

SKoslo_bar

A member of 8 different metal bands chooses his next pint.

It’s quiet, too. No music. The only thing you’ll hear down here is the clanking of glasses and the conversations of other patrons seeking good beer, which makes it feel even more clandestine and hidden, like you’ve stumbled onto a secret society for people who like to drink beer in subterranean locations (and no, drinking warm Lone Stars in your parent’s basement doesn’t count).

SKoslo_pano_small

SKoslo_tables

Some brewery patrons discuss their latest avant-garde metal project.

We sat near the taps beneath a pale stained glass window and a bust bearing the words BRACIEMUS ET BIBAMUS IN AETERNUM, which, if my Latin training serves me correctly (and it always does), translates to “pants and drinks forever.” Words to live by, brothers and sisters ov the bowl, words to live by. It did not elaborate on the relationship of said pants to said drinks, i.e., whether removing the former is an obstacle to enjoying the latter, but I digress.

SKoslo_window

The bust was once a touring member of Satyricon.

The Schous Kjelleren offered about a dozen of their own beers beers on the day we showed up, including a pale, IPA (pronounced out there as “eepah”), stout, porter and more. Here’s four we tried and what we thought.

SKoslo_beerlist

SKoslo_pints

Veldig smak.

First To Die Loses | Labeled as an IPA, tastes more like a well-rounded pale to American tastebuds. Hoppy enough to appeal to pale fans, but not so hoppy as to drive non-fans away. Easy to drink with just enough malt flavor to keep things interesting. A party-starter; like the album that kicks off the Friday night of a three day weekend. Song equivalent.

Harry S. Porter | An opaque black porter (duh) brewed with roasted coffee, so there’s strong coffee and dark chocolate flavors, with an aroma like chocolate-covered raisins. Fucking delicious. Has a light head with a very drinkable viscosity; not too thick, just intimidatingly dark. This could easily replace your morning coffee; it’s like a morning commute playlist that gears you up for another day of soul-crushing work. Song equivalent.

Reinheitsgebot | A surprisingly light, smooth and easy-drinking hefeweizen that isn’t loaded with sugar and doesn’t punch you in the mouth with banana/melon flavors meant to appeal to the fair-weather craft beer drinker. The anti-Blue Moon. Has a pale (non-hoppy) sweetness with a faint, inviting fruit aroma; like the “lighter” metal tracks you play around your girlfriend or parents so they don’t freak out. Song equivalent.

Udodelige Ursula | Very unique beer that drinks like a Belgian with some extra brewmaster know-how going on behind the scenes. Similar to the Reinheitsgebot in that it’s a lighter beer but with more of a passion fruit flavor that sweetens it up a bit, but also some fennel flavor to balance the sweetness out. Cloudy in appearance with minimal head. Feels like it needs to be served en masse at an outdoor festival. Song equivalent.

SKoslo_doorsign

Also, since selling or advertising alcoholic products is illegal in Norway (i.e., no brewery merch, no beer signs, etc.), our cool-as-fuck bartender gave us a free shirt! Hellz yeah! In gratitude, I’ve created a new national slogan: “Norway: Better Than Wherever You Are Now (Probably… But Seriously, It Rules Here)”

PANTS AND DRINKS FOREVER!

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  • I know exactly jack shit about beer and I loved reading this post. 0/10 flushes.

    • Cock ov Steele

      I keep a good tab of these articles for when I come of age.

  • That Harry S Porter m/ Awesome post!

    • Tyree

      I’m getting Thrvrsty.

    • W.

      I want that!

    • CyberneticOrganism

      BLVVD MVVN PVRTER

  • Tyree

    I think that one beer on the chalk board should really be called “True Lifelovers”. And, above it should be a beer called “Trve Lifehaters” whichis a glorious imperial stout of course.

    • Barrel Age that bitch for good measure… PERIOD!

      • Tyree

        Shit man, I’m looking forward to some damn fine stouts this winter. Get the fuck out of here boring Oktoberfest beers and make way for darkness.

        • I am such a sick fuck, I drink stouts all year around…but now we get the releases for the season to look forward to.

          • Tyree

            Stouts are tuff to come by here during the spring and summer time. During the winter we get a much bigger selection. Especially at certain bars in town.

          • Yea, as far as any bars/pubs during the spring and summer the dark beer selection is nothing compared to when the dark months come. I’m left raiding distributors, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The overall selection gets better every year.

          • Tyree

            This year I’m going to try and save a bottle of each stout I try and let it age.

          • As long as you keep them out of sight you should be successful. If I have them in my sight it’s next to impossible. I think I am going to crack a Grimm Double Negative tonight.. Never had it before and heard a lot of great things.

          • Tyree

            Ha, yeah. That’s a good idea. All this talk of stouts is making me want drive into town and see what I can pick up.

          • I’ve got some special ones lurking in storage waiting for the right time. I have a couple I should crack soon, a Dogfish Head World Wide Stout from 2012 and a Goose Island Big John from 2012.

          • Tyree

            Oh damn! That World Wide Stout should be amazing. Never had the Goose Island though.

          • If you see Big John (and you’re a fan of stouts heavy with chocolate) then buy immediately. After it’s aged a couple years it’s probably one of my favorite chocolate stouts, if not my favorite.

            I’ve never had World Wide Stout, so I am really stoked to drink it. I might crack it this weekend!

          • Tyree

            I’m so excited for you! I’ll keep my eyes open for Goose Island shit.

          • 😀 The Bourbon County Brand stuff will drop on Black Friday, not sure if there are any distributors by you that get it in, but always worth grabbing a four pack of those.

          • Tyree

            There are a couple of good bottle shops that carry good craft brew during the winter time. I’ll have to keeping checking in.

          • Stockhausen

            Yes! I picked up a couple beers in Norway I’m letting sit for a couple years.

          • Tyree

            I think we talked about this before Stocky. We must age the darkness.

          • Stockhausen

            Dangit. My bad, I tend to just fire things out of my mouth when this topic comes up.

            By the way, you should consider aging some stuff this year. I picked up a couple things in Norway that I’ll let sit for a year or two.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      I (life)love this idea.

  • NefariousDude

    QUIT GLOATING ABOUT YOUR AWESOME VACATION DAMNIT 🙁

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Nei

      • NefariousDude

        I need your clothes, your boots, and your Reinheitsgebot

        • CyberneticOrganism

          You forgot to say venlegst

          • NefariousDude

            venlegst you filthy sentient machine

          • CyberneticOrganism

            *shoots out your kneecaps*

          • Stockhausen

            Vær så god.

  • Death

    Wait, Norway has friendly people?

    • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

      That’s why they invented BM, too many lifelovers to handle.

      • Death

        So are we the only unfriendly Nordic country now?

        • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

          Yes. I believe so. Goddamn lifelovers.

          • Death

            We are the only ones that have stayed true to our cold nature.

    • Stockhausen

      I found people to be really friendly once conversation is initiated, but very rarely will they do it themselves. Someone will bump into you and not say anything, which was very strange to get used to, but if talking actually starts it was always pleasant.

      • Death

        It’s almost the same here, except for the whole conversation part.

        • Stockhausen

          My aunt is from Finland, and she’s actually really outgoing and friendly. I’m guessing that’s not the norm?

          • Death

            Are you sure she is Finnish? She doesn’t sound Finnish.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            My friend Travis has Finnish in him as well as Norwegian and a ton of other things. He also could be Thor due to the way he looks and that his hair is the same style as Thor.

          • Stockhausen

            She straight up moved from Finland to marry my uncle. Maybe she’s just crazy.

        • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

          A Finn goes “I once had discussed…” and you’ll know he’s lying.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Yes, well-put. They never approached us with huge smiles and asked how we were enjoying their country/city or anything (I hate that, reeks of fishing for tips), but when I talked to them they were always relaxed & in a decent mood; helpful, direct, friendly.

        • Stockhausen

          I felt like people in Bergen were a little more likely to talk. For example, my wife and I were standing on a street corner with our faces in a map (clearly idiot tourists), and a guy approached us and asked, in English, if we needed help. It was super awesome of him, especially defaulting to English so I didn’t have to butcher my way through “Kan du snakk Engelsk?”

  • What is the Norwegian equivalent of Bud Light? Or Natty Ice?

    • Tyree

      Deafheaven.

      • Guacamole Jim

        lol’d.

    • Stockhausen

      If you walk in to a bar and say “GIVE ME A BEER” they’ll most likely hand you a Hansa. It’s way, way better than American standard beer. However, I will say that American kicks Norway’s butt in craft beer availability and diversity. Theirs is growing, but due to constrictive laws it’s definitely behind us. Also, it’s friggin’ expensive.

      • Death

        Nordic countries are expensive as fuck mate.

        • Stockhausen

          It was expensive beyond the general higher expense of everything else.

          • Death

            Alcohol is expensive here. I don’t know how much it is in Finland, but I would guess that it’s more expensive in Norway.

      • Gotcha. What is the equivalent of Colt 45 then?

        • Stockhausen

          Like, the gun? A slightly heated conversation that settles amicably over a Hansa.

        • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

          In Nordic countries (read: Funland), no drinks anything light.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        We ate on the cheap so as to purchase many beers.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        The Ringnes weren’t bad either, our hotels sold them by the bottle at the front desk. We had a nightmare experience getting out there so upon checking in I immediately ordered 4 bottles. Sooo good.

  • Stockhausen

    Pants and drinks! Pants and drinks! I love your hilarious black metal commentary throughout, and I miss Norway even more now. I don’t know how I missed out on going to Schous, but I definitely enjoyed the places I went (Crowbar and Kniven in particular).

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Yeah it was really good stuff, I love these beers lately that don’t just have coffee flavors, they taste like a real fucking coffee. But they’re beer. It’s a win-win.

      • Stockhausen

        I had a beer at Crowbar called Quote the Raven that fit that description if I remember correctly. If I don’t, it was still awesome.

  • YourLogicIsFlushed

    It makes me sad to read about beer I have a less than 5% chance of ever drinking.

    • Wait, what?

      • YourLogicIsFlushed

        Is this stuff like readily available in the US?

        • I am a fucking idiot. I read your statement as “It makes me sad to read about beer. I have a less than 5% chance of ever drinking.”

          • Stockhausen

            That is a truly heinous statement.

          • YourLogicIsFlushed

            I don’t have a mouth, I drink everything through my nose and the bubbles hurt

          • “The doctors say I have a 5% chance of ever drinking and a 10% chance of ever walking again.”

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            “According to the doctors he’s got a 50/50 chances of survival. Of course there’s only 10% chances to that”

          • Poor Nordberg. Wonder what ever happened to him.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            He got incarcerated. Something about pushing he’s momma down the stairs. Or was it his wife, hmm. I don’t quite recall.

  • PANTS AND DRINKS FOREVER!

    • CyberneticOrganism

      HUZZAH FYNE SIR

      • wow, i just discovered your band. it’s quite rocket! which musician are you in the band?

        • NefariousDude

          What’s da band? I wanna blast off!

        • Janitor Jim Dvggan

          Yay, you’re back! It was so lonely without you now that Death and me are locked in a war over ELP. I think they’re amazing and he hates them more than anything.

          • heh, yea i been playing it quiet lately. glad to hear about you and Death though, that sounds pretty funny!

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            It sure is. We have such great arguments over ELP. I usually make jokes about how he likes the Yes ripoff Starcastle led by the first singer of REO Speedwagon. They sound so much like Yes that it is hilarious. Here’s one of their songs.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwbZ0m73B3E

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            Gentle Giant 4Ever

          • Death

            Gentle Giant 10Ever

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            That’s a whole lotta GG, hopefully Allin stays away.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            I do love Gentle Giant.

          • Death

            That’s a lie and you know it. If you like ELP, you can’t like good music.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            I love Gentle Giant. I love Camel and I love other bands besides ELP. I have been awaiting to buy the remastered copy of Power And The Glory by Gentle Giant and I cannot wait for the Starless box set King Crimson is making. I am also excited for the remastered version of War Child by Jethro Tull and I plan on buying their remaster of A Passion Play.

          • Death

            You’re trying too hard to prove yourself, kid.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            No I’m not. I am saying I love music other than ELP and that I do have good taste.

          • Death

            ELP =/= music

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            ELP=Greatness

          • Death

            ELP=pure shitty shit

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan
          • Death

            ….

          • Xan

            That picture is amazeballs.

          • David Vincent’s Spandex Shirt
          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            You got me. I hate this band so much that even the band I posted is god tier compared to them. This band should be nailed to cactus supported by wood and left to die in the Sahara.

          • David Vincent’s Spandex Shirt

            It just sounds like they’re throwing a bunch of shit around and stopping on it all over the place.

          • Count_Breznak

            Good luck finding a cactus in the sahara. Which makes it even better: You’d have to nail them to a cactus somwhere else and ship em over.

          • Stockhausen

            I approve of all of this.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            Who’s a good boy! You’re a good boy. Yes you are. Yes you are!

          • this is garbage.

          • Death

            That statement is also correct when it comes to ELP.

          • i don’t doubt that. but i also don’t know any ELP.

          • Death

            It’s better that way. It’s just horrible shit that no one (except for Jim) listens to.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            Tarkus 5ever! No keyboard player can play with the bombast of Keith and certainly no prog band could put on such amazing performances like ELP.

          • Death
          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            You liked this. You can’t say ELP is worse than this.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUoxf_72kUw

          • Death

            Oh god, he was for realzies!

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            I sure was. Who’s the buffoon now?

          • Death

          • Stockhausen

            Awww, u guise.

          • Death

            You don’t want to join this war (if you do, join my side, friend).

          • Stockhausen

            Side? I am on nobody’s side. Because nobody is on my side.

          • Death

            I can be on your side.

          • W.

            Dooooon’t be haaassty!

            We talked about quoting Treebeard when driving around in your wife’s car, right?

          • Stockhausen

            I think so? I hope so. Yes. YES.

          • W.

            I’ll go with yes as well.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            Whose side are you on? Are you on my side or on the side of the enemy?

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            I am on your side. Treebeard is my favorite living tree from any book and Tolkien was a genius. No one could equal Tolkien and his ability to create worlds by just writing on a piece of paper.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            You don’t want to join this guy. He doesn’t even know who Bret Hart is. He probably doesn’t even know who Hulk Hogan or the Undertaker are. You don’t want to make this kitty cat cry, do you? If you want this kitty to become a happy kitty join my side. My side is as American as apple pie, Hulk Hogan and Independence Day!

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            I agree.

          • Death

            Why do you enjoy seeing me suffer in the hands of this buffoon?

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            Buffoon? You hate ELP but you like Starcastle. The real buffoon is the one who doesn’t enjoy Tarkus. Tarkus 5EVER!

          • Death

            When did I say that I like Starcastle? This is just made up by you. Damn buffoon.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          Sheeeeit, thanks McNulty!

        • CyberneticOrganism

          You rule dude, play the hell out of it at the gym.

      • Stockhausen

        Also, it cracked me up when I first heard people calling it “eepah.” I got weird looks when I asked for an IPA.

  • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

    Now I really really really want to go to Norway.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      It’s awesome; I seriously want to live and work in Bergen now. Plus Immortal live there. I could run into Abbath at the apotek.

      • Stockhausen

        I loved Bergen, but I felt attached to Oslo. We spent most of our time there, so maybe that was it. But they also have the Norwegian Academy of Music in Oslo…

        • CyberneticOrganism

          That’s cool, Oslo was amazing but we felt an instant connection to Bergen. I could eat at that fish market and stop by Apollon for a pint every goddamned day and die a very happy cyborg.

          • Stockhausen

            I mean, I’d live anywhere in Norway if we’re going to be honest (maybe not some of the northern parts). That fish market was really awesome, getting to eat eel, whale, reindeer, and everything else in one place was super neat. Bergen definitely wins in the geography department as well, getting to intense hiking is easier than it is in Oslo.

  • Guacamole Jim

    A great read!! Now I think I need to go to Norway. #pantsanddrinks4ever

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Everyone should go, if only for the smooth airport experience. Makes O’Hare look like a supermax prison.

      • Stockhausen

        I love that airport, especially the duty free shop when you walk in. Some candy, cologne, snac-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOZE.

        • W.

          Dude, in the Dubai airport I saw a bottle of Scotch that was like $100,000. If you bought it, they gave you a crystal stag’s head for free.

          • Stockhausen

            What in the everloving junk. $100,000 scotch does not exist. Although this is Dubai, so I guess.

          • W.

            It was really old and aged in a camel’s gullet.

            Part of that sentence is made up.

          • Stockhausen

            “It.” Classic W.

      • O’Hare… Ugh.

  • Janitor Jim Dvggan

    I’m not 21 yet but this article makes me wish I was. I can’t wait until 2016 so that I can have these fancy beers.

    • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

      I’m glad you don’t need to be that old to drink here.

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan

        How old do you have to be to be able to drink out in Finland? I know in Canada you can drink at 18 but the US doesn’t try to teach kids how to drink responsibly so they had to bump it up to 21. It was 18 at some point but that changed in the 80’s.

        • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

          Up to 21% it’s 18, stronger than that it’s 20

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            Lucky you. I have to wait two more years because people were idiots and thought drunk driving was smart which caused the government to raise the drinking age to 21 in the 80’s.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            Drinking and driving’s pretty usual here, but no one really touches alcohol laws, ‘cept importing it even though many pretend to do so. It’s a way of life here really. I’d like to see the shitstorm if someone would try to actually raise the age.

          • Death

            Kieltolaki Suomeen!

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            *blank stare*

  • Max

    I can’t believe you didn’t go on one of those cheesy “black metal tours” that takes you to the site of Helvete (now a restaurant or something)!

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Guh, no thanks. Black metal lives in the forests and mountains, not the neckbeard-choked tour groups. m/

      Outside of the metal band flyers posted on walls & lampposts, it was really surprising how few traces of metal culture you see out there. Sometimes as an idiot American you think you’re gonna go over there and be flooded by a wave of long-haired Nordic guitarists everywhere, but it’s really metropolitan in the cities, and the culture was great.

      • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

        They hide during daylight hours, the nocturnal beasts that they are.

      • Max

        Although we should let a Norwegian weigh in on this, my take is that metal isn’t necessarily looked upon that favourably there because of the unsavoury domestic reputation.

        It might be different in Sweden, though. A non-metalhead lady I used to know visited there and one of the first things she mentioned when discussing it was the preponderance of “long-haired Nordic guitarists everywhere” as you put it.

        I remember reading somewhere that Finland has the highest number of metalheads per capita in the world. Not quite sure how they arrived at the data.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          I can believe that; we were constantly on the lookout for it, but we certainly didn’t go around asking others where to find notable spots or take a stroll through Oslo proudly brandishing Darkthrone hoodies or anything. We’d probably get eye rolls and “oh shit not these fuckers again” reactions every time.

          • Max

            It would probably be better for everybody if we metalheads just formed our own country. I suppose it would have to be a polyandrous matriarchy, given the lower proportion of females. But hey, we could write our constitution in Death Metal English. And starting a band could be a compulsory subject at school.

          • Death

            I highly doubt that metalheads could make a working country.

          • Max

            ‘Cos non-metalheads do such a great job of it, don’t they?

          • Death

            Metalheads would be too busy drinking alcohol and listening to music. Nothing would be done.
            (Can you feel those jimmies?)

          • Max

            Drinking alcohol, listening to music, and doing nothing.

            That sounds like a bad place to live?

          • Death

            To me it does. Fucking horrible. I would become a damn murderer there with all those drunk people.

          • Have you considered that maybe a post about BEER is not the right post for you?

          • Death

            What are you saying?

          • Max

            But think of all the metal!

            “Mmmm….the land of metal…” Metal blaring out of the radio 24-7. Metal as the elevator music in department stores. Metal sirens on the cop cars. The national anthem is metal. And then you walk past a record shop with a sign on the window saying “Metal, half-price.”

          • W.

            I’d like to volunteer as Metalistan’s good will ambassador!

          • Max

            I’ll be the Programming Director of Metalistan’s sole and state-run TV channel, which just plays metal videos 24-7 except for a news hour where Axl Rosenberg reports on the latest Kerry King product endorsements and 9-year-old banjo prodigies’ cover songs.

          • W.

            I vote @tyreegearhart:disqus for secretary of the interior.

          • KJM
          • NDNOvHell

            I don’t think anyone would want to be intoxicated 24/7. Occasionally drinking alcohol doesn’t automatically make one irresponsible broski. It probably wouldn’t be any different than other societies with drinking cultures.

          • Bunk Moreland

            DRINK DAMMIT!!!

          • NDNOvHell

            Sounds cool. Although there would probably be civil wars between Power Metal fans and Tech-Death Fans…

          • Nerd fight. Barf.

          • NDNOvHell

            There must be an abundant supply of lockers.

          • Max

            Problem solved: Obtain the session tape for one Power Metal album. Obtain the session tape for one Tech-Death album. Load both into Pro Tools. Swap the vocals around and pretend that the Power Metal album is a new Tech-Death release and the Tech-Death album is a new Power Metal release. Then point this out to everybody. Peace flourishes.

          • NDNOvHell

            Interesting. Sounds like good solution.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            I volunteer to lead the Anti-Bro Brigade

          • Max

            There are no bros in Metallistan.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            And I’ll keep it that way

        • Stockhausen

          I actually remember seeing a lot of metal shirts, and any record store I went into had a really respectable metal section. I even saw a “Weird Progressive” section at a music store. I got the feeling it wasn’t blatant like American black metal nerds dream of, but it’s more casual and “Well yeah, of course metal is a thing around here.” I happened to be there during Oslo Musikkfest (hopefully I don’t need to translate), and one of the stages was devoted to heavier bands, and it was all mixed in like it was no big deal.

          • Max

            Yes, I’ve heard about that happening a lot in Europe – music festivals where metalheads, ravers and world music hippies are all rubbing shoulders with mainstream-miscellaneous / normcore types and nobody bats an eyelid. It’s like Middle Earth, but with humans.

  • Gurp

    I’m seriously super jealous right now. I’ve been wanting to go to Scandinavia ever since googling ‘fjord.’

    • CyberneticOrganism

      THIS TOO CAN BE YOURS

      • Gurp

        pls stahp

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Wi nøt trei a høliday in Nörway this yër?

      • Gurp

        stahp

    • CyberneticOrganism

      See the løveli lakes.

      • Gurp

        dont no

  • Count_Breznak

    Well, it fits the general definition of beer: “Slightly alcoholic beverage brewed in countries east of the Rhine (notible exception: Thüringen)”
    …but this whole micro/macro brewery / IPA brewed with ocelot vomit and 42 sorts of hops crap has to stop.

  • Xan

    I hath commenced my dissertation on Woods of Ypres. I’m taking my time with this baby. Woods of Ypres deserves no less.

  • Janitor Jim Dvggan

    Though I do not drink here is a playlist for those of you who drink. It is varied in style but it all is mellow and relatively catchy.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJzJbk4Gqbk

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwKlI1yb838

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jL0GLLFg62I

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKGYMA8Fnxs

  • Leif Bearikson

    DOWN WITH PANTS. GLADLY ACCEPTING DRINKS, THOUGH

    • CyberneticOrganism

      *removes pants*
      *gets fired*

      • Leif Bearikson

        You’re in the wrong line of work

        • CyberneticOrganism

          I never should have quit searching for Sarah Connor, that was a great gig.

  • Andrea Conti

    BRACIERE=let’s brew
    I honestly would check on Internet b4 showing off your Latin skills as a Latin speaker might correct you.
    You really don’t find so close the terms
    Bracciere-brasseur-brasserie-brew?