Brütal Brëws: Amber Smashed Face, Todd the Axe Man, Evil Dead Red and more

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Fill your glass with metal! (do not actually fill your glass with metal)

I’m a simple man cyborg. I like horror movies, metal and beer (preferably at the same time). When brewers acknowledge that there are people organisms out there like me and brew a solid beer with a nod to a favorite band or film, I’m always down to give it a shot.

It’s been far too long since we all sat down together to have a brütal brëw, so let’s do that. Here are five killer beers available now that you should definitely consider bringing to your next gathering of cyborgs people.

Three Floyds | Amber Smashed Face

ambersmashed

Daaamn, check out that artwork. 3F has the talent and know-how to make these band collaboration beers something you’d happily pick up every weekend, and they were in Chicago late last month to personally hand off the beer to the band. This technically-an-amber-beer has a clean, crisp hops punch that may make you think twice about it if you’re not an IPA or pale drinker, but it’s well-balanced enough to allow the malt to sit right alongside it. Pairs nicely with a skull full of maggots in your gallery of suicide. BA score.

Three Floyds | Cimmerian Sabertooth Berzerker

cimmeriansabretooth

Sweet, strong and powerful, like a Valkyrie out of John Milius’ dreams. The 8% ABV gives this beer a noticeable warmth and highlights powerful and pale/fruity hop notes without being too dry or saccharine on the tongue. There’s a slight, subtle fruit flavor aftertaste without it actually tasting like it’s there on purpose; accidental but welcome, like a prayer answered by Crom. Pairs best with a loincloth and James Earl Jones turning into a snake. BA score.

Surly | Todd The Axe Man (US Edition)

toddbeer

Danish brewery Amager collaborated with Surly Brewing to create a beer for the most rock & roll dude in the craft beer world, Surly’s own Todd Haug, because he A) plays in Powermad, B) played with Powermad in David Lynch’s Wild At Heart, and C) played in Vulgaari before their recent breakup. Todd’s namesake beer, which also has a Danish edition, has a great classic IPA flavor with a slight boost in power thanks to its 7% ABV. Hoppy and unfiltered with an uptick in malt and yeast flavors. Pairs brilliantly with a dancing Laura Dern at a 1349 listening partyBA score.

Alesmith | Evil Dead Red Ale

evildeadred

I typically don’t go for red ales often, but this one with its 6.66% looked too good not to try when it appeared on shelves in October. A somewhat simpler flavor compared to the above beers, but with a distinct caramel and wheat (i.e., grain, not ‘wheat beer’) blend that pours a deep, rich amber color. Provides plenty of energy and bravado should you find your mocking deadite girlfriend exhuming herself from her woodland grave. Ideally paired with ancient Sumerian funerary incantations and demon resurrection passages. BA score.

Pipeworks | The Lizard King

lizardking

This one isn’t specifically referencing a band or anything, but it’s a damn fine beer with damn fine artwork: a titular lizard king fighting some sort of skeleton warrior with some seriously long teeth. A notable citrus flavor, strong hop presence and just a hint of basement dankness create a beer that presents a little more taste to discover in each sip. I also want to point out that this brewery’s homepage is “pdubs.net.” Perhaps there’s a an alternate universe ‘PDubs Bro’ out there somewhere who drives a sensible car, has good taste in music & beer and plays lawn darts on the weekends. BA score.

Tried anything good lately? Tried anything mentioned here? Share your thoughts in the comments.

(images via via via via via via)

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