Skeet skeet skeet.
Bloody Hammers is a goth/doom/occult rock band from Transylvania County, North Carolina. I checked, it’s a real place. Not too many bands say which county they hail from, but I can understand in a case like this one. The band is a two-piece lead by Anders Manga on vocal/guitar/bass duty and Devallia playing the keys. I know Toilet oV Hell has a strict “No Anime” policy, but no one said anything about Manga. Grab your love pillow, black Burger King burgers, and let’s get started.
0:08: Can’t rain all the time.
0:12: Mmmm that’s some good Carpenter synth.
0:19: Oh, dear.
0:23: You got a little…a little something on your face, dude.
0:26: “Hi, I’m Death. You may remember me from my starring role in Sex In The City 2.”
0:31: I hope he brought an umbrella. Those clouds are looking mighty angry.
0:36: Solid “trees n’ shit” establishing shot.
0:40: “Did I miss the bus?”
0:45: I’m kind of hoping her right hand is a giant hook.
0:49: “Nooo! My pale white skin! I’ll spark and burn like a fork in the microwave!”
0:54: Roots n’ shit.
1:01: Holy shit, they have the Invisible Man on drums.
1:10: Fisheye lens n’ shit.
1:19: This is giving me flashbacks to The Blair Witch Project.
1:26: That’s not a scythe. This is a scythe.
1:35: If you ask me, the Invisible Man deserves top billing.
1:38: Or at least billing over Spoopy Sam over here.
1:46: Art School project n’ shit.
1:56: I like the random “smokexplosions” behind him. They don’t make any sense, but they look cool.
2:04: Vultures n’ shit.
2:13: A little disappointed that Spoopy Sam didn’t also paint his beard.
2:22: Solid form from Invisy.
2:31: Jeez, Reaper. Are you going to come or what?
2:36: We haven’t got all day, y’know.
2:42: Black and white film with not a lot happening.
2:45: Yup, definite Blair Witch vibes.
2:56: They blew all their budget on those “special” effects.
3:05: I think I’m slowly slipping into a coma.
3:12: If I don’t make it, tell Phil Labonte that he sucks.
3:16: Also, don’t touch my stuff.
3:21: I’ve seen plays more exciting than this. Honest to God. Plays.
3:32: Wait, you were capable of sounding like this the entire time and you waited over 3 minutes to do it?
3:36: That makes it even worse!
3:51: “Hi, I’m Jeff. I’m filling in for Death while he’s off playing violin.”
4:00: So, really, Bloody Hammers has 4 members.
4:04: Also, “Bloody Hammers” is an “88” away from being a nazibuttz band name.
4:13: Confirmed: not a hook hand.
4:17: Swing and a miss, Jeff!
4:29: Shouldn’t all of these vultures get credit for being in the band too?
4:35: I think we can install a “No Manga” rule now.
4:38: So, did the Reaper come or did he suffer from a serious case of Reaper balls?
Bloody Hammers’s album Lovely Sort Of Death is out on August 5th via Napalm Records.