Black Friday is for Assholes

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Thanksgiving is an American holiday in which we are encouraged to celebrate our friends and families. We are encouraged to take stock of the many blessings in our lives and to be grateful. We are encouraged to show our appreciation for the people that better our lives. We are encouraged to display the best human qualities. We are encouraged to consume alcohol and pumpkin pie. It is a very good holiday.

Black Friday is an American tradition in which consumers are encouraged to immediately forget about the lessons of the previous day and go out to purchase useless bullshit. Black Friday is the antithesis of Thanksgiving, and participating in it is akin to pissing on the best elements of human nature. In short, Black Friday is for assholes.


Yesterday the Black Friday shopper displayed compassion. Today, the milk of human kindness has curdled. Soccer moms will fight each other tooth and nail just for the privilege of purchasing some plastic garbage that their awful children will deposit in ever expanding landfills in short order. People camp out in the cold for hours to give money to big box retailers. Let me reiterate: grown men and women freely choose to forego the comforts of warmth and family for the opportunity to just buy some shit and possibly maim another human.

This is to say nothing of the American retail worker who is treated like subhuman shit on a regular day. On Black Friday? Shiiiiiit. Expect to take time away from friends and family on Thanksgiving so you can work insane hours in a possibly dangerous clusterfuck environment. Y’know, in addition to the day-to-day low pay, no benefits, and a lack of respect from customers. It’s almost enough to make a person strike.

What if you really need to buy some shit (maybe a new microwave)? In a predictable twist, you won’t actually save any money buying that shit on Black Friday. You do not need to purchase any consumer goods on Black Friday. There is no economic benefit to shopping on Black Friday.

A recent survey by personal finance site, NerdWallet.com, found that 23 out of 25 stores were offering at least one product at the exact same price as last year, while some stores had multiple deal repeats or offered better prices on certain products earlier in the year.

By participating in Black Friday, assholes are perpetuating an out-of-control system of consumerism that is choking our people and our planet to death. Stay home. Continue yesterday’s theme of appreciating the things you have. Buy less and use the things you have more. Ride your bicycle more often. Tell your friends and family that you love them. And for fuck’s sake, don’t be an asshole.


  • Edward #RIPNEGROD
    • you can change those footage with people buying in the malls and it’s still creepy

      • Edward #RIPNEGROD

        I am remiss to tell you, Link, that I wanted to just link the whole album here but did not see it immediately on Youtube. I have it though on my iPod.

        Play World Draped In A Camouflage at full volume, watch videos of Black Friday shoppers at zero volume.

  • B00mhauer

    last year I went to Home Depot with the intention of buying some new drill bits for work, completely forgetting it was black Friday. Needless to say, no bits were purchased that day. This year, I stay in. Bring on the Christmas Ale.

    • Taking away a man’s hardware store. That ain’t right, tellyouwhat.

    • more beer

      Ale always better than Home Depot!!

      • B00mhauer

        Ale is always better than anything. Always.

        • more beer

          Look at my user name that I know!

  • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

    The old lady is going out of town, so I get the house to myself tonight (just imagine all the depraved shit I can do!). Before leaving she said she might go get a PS4 destiny bundle on one of the black friday deals. I cringed. I’ll stay in and make chili and hang out with the animals in my DARK FORTRESS
    http://youtu.be/dNloyxCofts

    • B00mhauer

      SATAN BLED FOR ALL OF YOU

    • watch star trek and eat nachos… naked

      • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

        bro, if you added playing Dark Souls 2 then you just described (quite exactly) my evening to come. (edit: can’t upvote this hard enuff. I’ll probably watch some Eastbound & Down too)

      • #James”Edgy”McNulty

        • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

          i lolbuttzed.

      • Lacertilian

        make it so.

    • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

      dont forget to watch some nazisploitation films on youtube. Nazi women beating and torturing men and women, blood, sadism, tits, ass , bush. Something for everyone and its all free. Real sick shit man.

  • woah! you’re right, Thrash.. How Ironic: next day of Thanksgiving you got this Black Friday thing that makes people forget all the things they were grateful yesterday… That’s the epitome of the irony of our system.

    My contribution this morning:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_yDg6kGb-U

    • Max

      The first Carcass song I ever got into.

      • Tom Waits For Better Days

        Shame Bill doesn’t do it (or anything) live anymore. ‘Twas a nice change of pace with Jeff.

        • Max

          Indeed it was.

          The last time I saw Carcass was in ’08 or so, and although Bill did sing one or two songs (I can’t remember which), he didn’t sing “Exhume..”. Jeff did it, and curiously he used Bill’s voicing for it rather than his own usual rasp.

          • Tom Waits For Better Days

            Saw Carcass this year and Jeff did it all and with his regular rasp. Though I think Bill did grunt a word or two in a song or two as pure backing but he had tops half a minute of mic time.

    • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

      when will people stop sucking the cocks of carcass. I mean ripoffvocation and job for a cunt boy are so much better. Not to mention those djentleman in perhiphery.

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

        That was a good joke. Who can hate Carcass? I sure can’t. Heartwork and Swansong were masterpieces. Yes, I consider Swansong a masterpiece. It’s the perfection of what Wolverine Blues invented, it’s the Sgt Peppers of death n roll just like Disintegration is the Sgt Peppers of gothic rock.

        • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

          I think wolverine blues stands alone but yea, carcass are untouchable.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            They cannot do any wrong. They are consistent on the level of Rush, Iron Maiden. Bauhaus and The Cure. Not many bands are that consistent. Bauhaus had a break from 1983 to 2008 between albums and they still knocked one out of the park with Go Away White.

      • I must disagree this time, gentleman 🙂

  • KJM

    And of course, the obvious song for today:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6se2QDVUbg&feature=youtu.be

  • Tom Waits For Better Days

    I once bought a 7″ on black Friday, not sold elsewhere or on any other day.

    • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

      a 7 inch what ?
      sorry i had to do it.

  • YourLogicIsFlushed

    I always go pick up some blu-rays like 3 hours after the mad rush. This year I got Gravity, Django, and Noah for like $20. Some great directing on those movies.

    • Edward #RIPNEGROD

      Django Unchained >>>>>>>>>

      Gravity was pretty tight too. Haven’t seen Noah.

      • YourLogicIsFlushed

        Noah is weird. Very weird. But I am an Aronofsky fanboy so I like it.

        • KJM

          That’s right! I guess I have to see Noah now. ‘Pi’ was the first DVD I ever bought.

          • Edward #RIPNEGROD

            Pi >>>>>>>>>

        • so wery veird.

        • Edward #RIPNEGROD

          I’m a pretty big Aronofsky fan too, but I felt Black Swan was a little overrated.

          The Wrestler >>>>>>>>

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            The Wrestler was one of my favorite movies ever. It still depresses me whenever I watch it.

  • KJM

    Very well said, Mr Thrashandkill. Might I add that many of the same people who will riot and start fights over useless crap will, more than likely, call those who riot over racial injustice “thugs”.

    • Edward #RIPNEGROD

      Nailed it.

    • Poseur Diposeur

      well said

      • KJM

        Thanks.

    • JWG

      “Ferguson’s in the past now. Let it go already.” – random dude who somehow got past the Privacy Settings on my Facebook posts.

      All I said was that I thought #Ferguson was one of the biggest stories of this year.

      Unfortunately for the guy I snared in that comment, I was talking about *Craig* Ferguson…

      • Craig Ferguson >>>>>>>>>>

        • Virgil the Ghost Poet

          He’s playing your town soon!

        • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

          fuck i hate that fuck, everytime my favorite little actress from the office (ellie kemper) goes on there he keeps steering the conversation into the gutter with sex jokes. I wish i could stomp that fucking cocksucker with my steel toes.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I don’t like him either. He’s just a shockingly bad comedian. The first time I watched a stand-up special of his I was startled by its awfulness. I was never that startled again until KJM said he didn’t like The Cure. I fucking love The Cure. Robert Smith is the Jeff Lynne of gothic rock, able to create such amazing songs with amazing hooks without trying. Disintegration is a masterpiece and probably the best gothic rock album that will ever exist.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            he is leaving the show soon, not sure who the replacement is. Jimmy fallon, kimmel, seth meyers and that shitty tucker carson guy all suck in my opinion. Of course the only true king is johnny carson . The greatest tv host of all time. Watched him since i was 10 years old. He was so good that when one of his jokes bombed , he handled it in such a way that it was even funnier than if the joke had been great. One of a kind.

      • KJM

        Ha!

      • December 14th is his last episode, and a truly sad day for late night. Saw him live at the Chicago Theater in 2012, absolutely fucking hilarious show. And ‘American On Purpose’ is an awesome book.

        • Between The Buried & Smee

          I was at that show too!

          • Holy shit! I was the guy front row, center, of the balcony yelling “Rombold’s finest!” when he came on and got the beer cup thrown at me lol! With the black dress jacket on.

          • Between The Buried & Smee

            I thought he was so funny. Didn’t he have Josh Robert Thompson open?

          • Yep. I went to the bar during most of that set. The prices were insane.

          • Between The Buried & Smee

            I still love though when some drunk woman started yelling to him, so he said (paraphrasing) “Wait, she might be saying something important!”

          • Yep! I was pissed about the guy who got me with that beer though, because I could’ve fell over the balcony. Saw him, and was about to tune his ass up afterwards. Lol, instead, I ended up back in Hyde Park and getting drunk and kicked out of two bars. :-p

    • since I’m drunk in lifeloverism.. this is for you:

      • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

        holy shit

        • Gvacamole Jim

          Don’t want to brag or anything…. but I’ve got one of those too

          SUCK ON IT, TREBEK

          • well.. you constructed a tunnel in the snow to go from your home to your job. You are an impressive dwarf 😛

    • Akercocke ov Steele

      I might nip on down to the record store just to see if any Melechesh may be aquired, I’m not going to be a big green weeny and start fights over stuff though.

      • KJM

        Don’t imagine there will be many riots at record stores.

        • Akercocke ov Steele

          You’re right, the whole selection of Riot might’ve been bought out.

          • KJM

            Ha!

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            a random akercocke photo because they rule
            cool shirt too.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I bought a ton of good shit today from my local record store. I bought two albums from a band called Rhinoceros at 1 dollar each as well as albums from Dire Straits, Strawbs, Iron Butterfly, ELO, Robin Trower, Pat Travers, Simple Minds and quite a few other artists.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            sorry for the double post, may choronzon not destroy me.

          • Akercocke ov Steele

            The more Akercocke the better. Choronzon be with you brother.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            their mascot is strange though.

      • CT-12

        Record store day today! Just snagged my copy of the new FNM single

        • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

          I picked up a ton of vinyl and a signed Yes CD that they just happened to have and it was all 33 percent off.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            hopefully it wasn’t the last cd yes released. Is trevor rabin in the band these days ?

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            Trevor hasn’t been in the band since 1994. The album is the one from 2011 and it is signed by Steve Howe, Chris Squire, Geoff Downes, an unknown signature and what I think is Jon Anderson.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            how much for the signed cd ? Rabin is a great guitarist. His soundtrack albums and solo albums are excellent, he is a pretty good vocalist as well.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            5 dollars and some change as it was on sale.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            look up some anderson autographs on ebay and you might be able to figure out if it is or not.

    • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

      ……….

      • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

        ……………..

        • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

          I was just reading that Marduk announced a new album while looking at reviews on Sputnikmusic. Do you think it will be good?

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            marduk are always good. No matter what lineup, one of the best black metal bands ever. Untouchable. Belphegor and watain are great but they will never be as good as marduk.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I regret not seeing them when I won tickets to see them last year.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            won tickets ! marduk free ? and you didn’t go, hope you had a good excuse man, that is shameful bro. You are still my good friend even though i am dissapointed to hear you did not take advantage of that perhaps once in a lifetime opportunity.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I did have an excuse. I had work and I regret not going because there was some good openers. I will not be missing Napalm Death and Voivod when they come near me though. I already bought my tickets for it.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            Hey, just noticed you got unbanned, about time.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I’ve been unbanned for awhile now.

    • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

      ……..

    • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

      …….

    • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

      ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

    • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

      hahhahahhah, some middle aged pervert likes taylor momsen, looks like a rapist or something. Swine !………………………hey i like her too…………ahhhh fuck.

    • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

      shia lepoof (the guy who ruined the last indiana jones movie) got sexually assualted at an upscale art show by a woman no less ! hahhahahhahhahahahhahhahhahhahhahahahhahhahahahhahhahahahah. No shit , its true.

      • Sadistikexekution

        I wonder why they keep giving that little shithead roles.

        • Gvrp

          He did get blown away in Fury.

          • Sadistikexekution

            Good!

      • KJM

        Really? That is all kinds of fucked up.

        • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

          It is fucked up. I didn’t know that even happened until right now.

  • Edward #RIPNEGROD
  • KJM

    Not Metal but still rockin’ and appropriate

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVQKiqCZ9No

  • It is worth noting that music is always a good thing to purchase. A389 and Relapse are both having fairly good sales on their online stores today.

  • SheWölf

    Right on Joe!! I really want to go out for some art supplies, but I’m sure even the craft store will be a nightmare clusterfuck today, so I’m going to stay home and work on this nice peaceful painting, play Legos with my kid, and pet my dog…

    • This is super cool. Damn the savages and their ravenous dealz shoppin’

    • bro/sis this is a good painting! kudos! 😀

    • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

      This is trvly cvvl

    • Simon PhoenixKing

      Your paintings continue to be awesome.

  • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

    Not metal but from a dope album (since i’m usually the only one posting hiphop).
    http://youtu.be/pxeGBXLobRw

    • Edward #RIPNEGROD

      Woah woah BB, I have posted some hip hop and I dig a lot of hip hop.

      Toilet Ov Trill >>>>>>

      • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

        I didn’t mean to discount you, Ed. I know you’re the trillest (besides me). Just seems like I might be the biggest purveyor of hiphop around these parts.

        • Gvacamole Jim

          Hey now hey now hey now!! I’ve long been posting hip hop on the Toilet, and I know for sure W. has too! We’re a healthy crowd of rap lovers.

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

            Do we need a trill-off!? You guise are awesome. This shot’s for you.

          • Edward #RIPNEGROD
          • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR
          • Edward #RIPNEGROD
          • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR
          • Edward #RIPNEGROD

            stepfather factory, the LATEST IN TECHNOLOGY

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UH0B4CSn3w

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

            Needless to say, we might be the trillest people on the internet.

          • Edward #RIPNEGROD
          • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

            From what is undoubtedly the best hip-hop album of the year (edit: this link is the full album, 1:30:00 in playtime for a hip-hop album is crazy):
            http://youtu.be/4uEgGs_IKNo

          • Edward #RIPNEGROD

            Need to check that, but a counter argument can be made for:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rghRRD4mCn4

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

            Yeah that’s a good album. There’s actually a couple contenders, especially The Underachievers album from this year. If you haven’t listened to Ab-Soul then you most definitely need to. Is worth 10 Trill Points.

          • Edward #RIPNEGROD

            I’m away from my work computer, to be continued.

          • Edward #RIPNEGROD
          • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

            Canibus used to be one of my favs. He’s kinda fallen off a bit. That track is a classic though.
            http://youtu.be/hKEhBA_6QAU

          • Edward #RIPNEGROD

            BB did you ever see or hear about this?

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9KjsBIsr2g

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

            Yeah, that’s partly what I was talkin’ about.

          • Edward #RIPNEGROD

            He looks so high on bath salts there.

          • George Clarke

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qr6OJFyxDuE

            this is the rap album of the year okay guys

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

            Death Grips goes hard

          • NefariousDude

            Now I’m gonna have to go check this shit out. What do you think of ratking?

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

            Man, I forgot about that one, too. A great album. I haven’t listened to it enough. A great year for hiphop, all around.

          • NefariousDude

            Fasho. Too much good shit out this year.

          • KJM

            How about the latest from my Twitter friend Akrobatik?

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4vDhyENR18

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

            This might’ve slipped under my radar, it seems alright, the beat leaves a little to be desired (dat sample). I’d have to hear more of it.

          • KJM

            You should probably check out his earlier stuff first like “Balance” or his project with Mr Lif “The Perceptionists”. You may even like Mr Lif better entirely. Here’s an EP from him.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SiDdmLnzM8

          • Tom Waits For Better Days

            Hey, Hey, Hey!
            I like this!

          • Edward #RIPNEGROD

            El-P’s Fantastic Damage is such an underrated album, by most people other than me.

          • Tom Waits For Better Days

            Is that an I or an L?

          • Edward #RIPNEGROD

            “L”.

          • Tom Waits For Better Days

            Hey! I get it Not the Emerson-y one but just like LP! Punny!

          • Edward #RIPNEGROD

            In an ever so slightly (well maybe just barely) funny story, ToH had a spam filter set up for El-P the prog band when I got to run my Run The Jewels story, so several of my comments got moderated regarding the rapper El-P on that story.

          • Tom Waits For Better Days

            I remembered that, that’s why the choice of words is what it is.
            (Didn’t know realize about those comments though)

        • first things first i’m the trillest

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

            #trillvoid

        • KJM

          Chuck D follows ME on Twitter. Top dat! #therealhiphopisoverhere

          • MC Hammer followed me for a time. Admittedly, Chuck D is a much better get.

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

            these are both pretty cool lol

          • KJM

            Akrobatik was a Twitter friend for a bit, but his jimmies got rustled over bs and he killed his account.

          • We’ve probably talked about this before but do you do the facebooks? I was having some fun yesterday making fun of shitty rappers.

          • KJM

            Quit back in 2010, couldn’t cope with the constant barrage of crap.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I have one but it’s for the purpose of keeping track of concerts.

          • KJM

            I’m on a bunch of local email lists that keep me informed of those.

          • JWG

            I use Twitter and two local websites. for the same

            Really the only thing keeping me on Facebook is that it allows me access to an otherwise “Closed” group that keeps indirectly piling on additional data for my never-quite-complete Thesis writeup.

            Once that’s wrapped up, I’m outta there.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I’ve been thinking of doing an interview with Psychostick for this website because they have a new album. Do you think that is a good idea?

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            yea, if a person wants advance notice of ticket sales for a band twitter is a life saver.

  • Comments on that YouTube video you linked are predictably nationalistic. I hate YouTube.

  • Today you can get 20% off items from Willowtip with code “TURKEY”
    http://www.willowtip.com/store/
    Relapse is offering 20% off most items.
    http://www.relapse.com/store.html
    You can get 20% off items from Danvers State Recordings with the code “BLACKESTFRIDAY”
    http://danversstate.storenvy.com/
    Hell’s Headbangers is running 20% off select items
    http://shop-hellsheadbangers.com/sale.asp
    A389 is doing 20% off most items in the store and downloads on Bandcamp
    http://shop.a389records.com/

    If you’re gonna buy some shit it might as well be jamz.

  • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

    Unchecked consumerism is gross.
    *spends all of his money on Steam Sale*

    • KJM

      Better to shop online than be part of the riots.

  • KJM
    • this movie >>>>>>>>>>>>>

      • Gvacamole Jim

        <<<<<<>>>>>>

      • KJM

        Seems to me too many people view those 70s sci-fi movies as “how to” manuals instead of the cautionary tales they were meant to be.

    • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

      ???????????

      • KJM

        Remember, Heston used to be a Democrat. He mostly broke with them over gun control and Vietnam and that wasn’t until the early 70s. He was socially liberal on many issues including civil rights.

    • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

      HhhHhHhHhHHHHHhhaaaaaaA

      • KJM

        From my cold dead paws!!!

  • Dental_Damnation

    Retailers are trying to adopt it in Canada as well but it’s a bit more of a tough sell up here. Although I did see about 20 assholes lined up outside of Footlocker early this morning on the way to work. Waiting to get 20% off their Jordan’s I guess? Who the fuck knows.

  • Gvacamole Jim

    Joe for president!! For real! Eloquent speech, sir. Flush rampant consumerism. Also, flush the giant ass snowstorm that hit Edmonton yesterday and today. Flush my guilty conscience for not allowing me to take the day off with impunity. Flush all… except the Toilet ov Hell.

    • It’s dangerous to go alone! Take this!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yt5kXFKhbIQ

      • Gvacamole Jim

        That, sir, is one impressive toilet.

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To
      • Gvacamole Jim

        Also, serious LOL at your username.

        • it’s that double joke. the one that I like the bass instrument and your crazy pop song 😛

          • Oh god it’s stuck in my head again

          • just use the Super Toilet up there 😀

          • JWG

            I have to wonder if that “no Treble” is a double-entendre. Sort of like in that one Star Trek episode.

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKLyXjMT07I&feature=youtu.be&t=52s

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

            #PICARDLYFE #GETREKT

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            Can you believe some people don’t like the original trek series ?. That’s like hating sabbath. Spock is iommi & ozzy is kirk. Geezer is bones, bill ward ? i dont know, he has no counterpart on the enterprise, maybe sulu. But sulu didn’t miss the heaven and hell and born again tours despite playing on the albums because he was too drunk or high.

          • Gvacamole Jim

            hahaha don’t call it MY pop song. I had nothing to do with that monstrosity.

          • Akercocke ov Steele

            OH YEAH YOU SLAPPA DA BASS BRAH?!

      • sweetooth0

        18 kilos of pure uncut heroin… flush!

        The preferred toilet for drug smugglers the world over. Never get caught by the cops with your stash again!

        • it’s not just a Toilet.. it’s the Super Toilet ov Hell: never dissapoints you, even if you’re a latin american drug dealer.

        • Edward #RIPNEGROD

          Any dude that has to flush 18 kilos of pure heroin would probably want to off himself before his superiors catch up with him.

          • KJM

            Yeah, I’d be more worried about that than the cops quite frankly.

          • Edward #RIPNEGROD

            In the unlikely event he was the owner of 18 kilos of pure heroin, having to flush that quantity would likely make him want to commit suicide anyways.

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

            Easier to just #blastyourselfofftovalhalla with 18 kg of heron #amirite?

          • Edward #RIPNEGROD

            I imagine you could do so with less. Lol.

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR
          • KJM

            PHUCK CASPAR GOMEZ AND PHUCK DE PHUCKIN’ DIAZ BROS!! I BURY DOSE COCKROACHEZ!!

        • Virgil the Ghost Poet

          You should have told Wino that 2 weeks ago.

      • errorcode99

        it won’t flush my enormous shit though. my shit clogs every toilet.

  • Tom Waits For Better Days

    To near-black metalize things, here’s Satanic Warmaster’s Burzum cover from this year

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kojiaO9lYqQ

    • Death

      Unrelated, but how do you feel about what happened today? I wonder if Räsänen has already hung herself.

      • Tom Waits For Better Days

        MY HOPES ARE EXTREMELY HIGH!

        (I am glad about the law being passed as well, and hoping that this really does lead to formation of a new parliament/whateva)

        • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

          I think this is about the same sex marriage thing?

          • Tom Waits For Better Days

            YES!

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

            Good for you guise, we’re doing it too. State laws > Federal laws. Fuck the government. Abolish the fed. reserve. Rand paul 2016.

          • Tom Waits For Better Days

            It’s good but in all honesty I’m happier about Räsänen losing so badly, she needs to go, right now, and take the whole gov’t with her if possible

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

            I’m not familiar enough, so I’ll just agree.

          • Tom Waits For Better Days

            Everything anyone needs to know about her is her motto in life: “Let’s ban it”

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

            Sounds like America.

          • more beer

            I agree with you about state laws but the Supreme Court doesn`t agree with us and say`s federal law trumps state laws. Which is bullshit but it is what it is.

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

            I get this feeling that I should just become a secessionist lololol

          • more beer

            You wouldn`t have to do that if most of the idiots here realized they didn`t have to vote for the same sorry mother fuckers. I`ve said it before I will say it again there are almost always some one other than the two criminal party`s running for any given office. Vote for all independents as long as they are not insane. Until people wake up and realize this shit we are all fucked.

          • KJM

            Yeah, I hope someone like Bernie Sanders runs and gets some steam behind him.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            kill em all and let god sort em out – it sounds worse than it is. Would sure solve a lot of problems plus there would be no more loss of innocent life than we do now with a “civilized” system in place

          • more beer

            I don`t even care if they get sorted out after they are dead!

          • KJM

            Nah, someone like Rand Paul would destroy what little social safety net the poor in The US have, plus he’s anti-choice and supports federal bans on abortion.

          • Death

            Sounds like an asshole.

          • KJM
          • Death

            Yea, I’m not a huge fan of this guy.

          • KJM

            It just seems to me that someone who claims to be all about “freedom” wouldn’t support federal bans on anything and wouldn’t be afraid to support equal marriage rights instead of using the chickenshit dodge of “It’s should be left up to the states!!” Plus he’s named after Ayn Rand. That alone should send up red flags.

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

            Urrrffff ok maybe i shouldn’t /sarcasm anymore. He’s most certainly not a true libertarian, and holds way too many fringe opinions for the majority of americans to vote for him. The only true voters he will have are tea party people, dudes living out in the woods, and young rich college kids who feel super entitled. This is from the viewpoint of someone who considers himself a true states-rights libertarian.

          • KJM

            See, when I think “small gov’t”, I think a gov’t that isn’t projecting it’s military might across the world or on it’s own people. To me, the only reason gov’t should exist is to make life easier for it’s citizens. After all, it’s OUR gov’t. It should be serving us, not the other way around.

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

            I mean, that’s an isolationist viewpoint that a vast majority of libertarians believe in. Myself included. Though, I think that negates the importance of America’s humanitarian contributions, and the need from homeland defense (especially considering what we’ve done to antagonize the world). A state militia isn’t going to protect us from anything at all, except ourselves.

          • KJM

            Oh, if a country’s people ask for our help and we can give it? I’m all for that. We’re part of the world too.

            We should also be thinking good national “defense” rather than a sprawling international “offense” if that makes sense.

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

            On the flipside, there’s always the old axiom: The key to a good defense is a good offense.

          • KJM

            I could only agree with that in the case of say, Nazi Germany.

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

            You totes lost me there KJ

          • Tom Waits For Better Days

            I’m sorry if I’m going to hurt somebody’s feelings, but “Don’t ask what you’re country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country!” Is the most fucked up thing that can be said by any gov’t

          • KJM

            It should be the exact opposite. Gov’t is there to serve it’s people, not the other way around.

          • Tom Waits For Better Days

            I’ve felt that ways too. No one should be born to serve.

          • Tom Waits For Better Days

            I was just about to say ” Make it Ayn Rand 2016″, and then I read this.

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            He is a true patriot!

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

            That post was pretty sarcastic, if you didn’t catch it lol

          • KJM

            I’m sorry. Sarcasm is hard to detect sometimes.

            Gotta admit though, I do agree about the secessionist bit sometimes.

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

            The South will rise again? (more sarcasm)

          • KJM

            Long live the Free New England Zone!

          • Tom Waits For Better Days

            The head of the Christian democrats promised to resign if this law is passed (she was a minister for internal affairs as well)

        • hope those are changes for the better! way to go, pal!

        • Death

          Hopefully it will go through in December.

          • Tom Waits For Better Days

            Fingers crossed

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

        What happened today?

        • Tom Waits For Better Days

          A law for equal marriage passed the parliament making it the first citizen’s initiative to have passed any stage at all.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            That’s a good thing. America still doesn’t have equal marriage as a national requirement.

          • KJM

            Massachusetts does. ^_^

  • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

    I hate Black Friday when it comes to malls. My local record store has a good Black Friday sale every year so I was there for about an hour. I picked up two giant bags worth of good stuff on vinyl and a signed copy of Fly From Here by Yes on CD for 30 dollars altogether.

  • more beer

    Thanks for putting to words the absolute truth Joe. Black Friday is just some made up bullshit by greedy corporations to separate people from their money! Fuck them all!!

    • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

      hahahhhaha, what’s the fucking hot dog thing from ?

      • more beer

        The picture is what they brew beer in I`m assuming that’s what you are talking about.

      • The Cosby hot dog thing I posted? That’s from Leonard Part 6. A true classic in American film!

  • IronLawnmower

    Fuck consumerist bullshit. Here’s Suffocation.

    http://youtu.be/YepbZ90amLY

    • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

      best death metal band i have ever seen. After a couple of pitchers of beer and 7 rye and cokes i was in a death metal hell when i saw them live. And it was a good place to be. $15 for a ticket to the carnival of death tour. That’s a fucking bargain.

      • That’s the first death metal band/CD I ever got into, back in ’96. I was still a wee tyke (15 y.o.).

        • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

          i was 15 in 84. My god, what have i done with my life. I’m a fan of the pretty reckless for christ sake. *leaves room to look for noose or hit the vaporizer some more, maybe both.*

          • *lets you have your vaporizer and passes you some chips and guac*

          • Lacertilian

            Which vape did you end up buying?

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            i just dug out my old little plastic one. I spent all my money on other shit and the little box served me well. She in not much to look at, but she puts out and is always there when i need her even if i have neglected her. That’s a lot more than i can say about most women i have had the misfortune of forming emotional bonds with. I will post a pic so you can see her in all her glory.

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    black friday=anti capitalism media hype–by murderous communists–who also orchestrated 911—–who view the wtc attack as a victory against world capitalism—and who were jealous haters—cuz the wtc was cooler than their headquarters (u.n. building)

    piss on those motherfuckers

    • my capitalism now:

      • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

        Indeed , i spent $800 yesterday. And am now 40 dollars over my limit on my credit card which itself will incur a further $25 penalty fee. Mind you i did all my shopping on the internet and everything i bought was for myself.

    • BLVCKBEVRD’S HOLIDVY ELIXXR

      This lacks your usual eloquence, poet. I’ll chalk it up to indignation.

  • willowtip is such a tease. stating that new Sarpanitum is a “Recent Release”, then takes me to a pre-order that comes at Feb 2015

  • NefariousDude

    Black Friday is for bastards and vagrants.

  • feelthedarknesslosthispassword

    Rudi P!!! Fuck yeah!!

    • Axel Rudi Pell?

      • feelthedarknesslosthispassword

        Hahahaha!
        Rudi Peni

    • Edward #RIPNEGROD

      I’m glad through your username you surmised us of your situation.

  • Simon PhoenixKing

    Humph. These Black Friday douches are rookies. I would show them REAL carnage and destruction.

    • Scrimm

      I got dibs on all the dead bodies.

  • Simon PhoenixKing

    Wanna know what’s more important than trampling folks over cheap bullshit?

    CLAYMORE FUCKING LIGHTSABERS!!!

    • Gvacamole Jim

      FUCK YES THEY ARE

    • Edward #RIPNEGROD

      I need to watch that after work, apparently.

      • KJM

        It looks great.

    • KJM

      #whatreallymatters

    • it was okay

      • KJM

        I’m a sucker for that music. Once it hits, I’m 10 all over again.

        • i’m so finished with JJ Abrams. having said that, i’m posilutely going to see the film.

          • KJM

            Oh yeah, I hated Super 8 and wasn’t that nuts about Lost either. Don’t even get me started on what he tries to pass off as ‘Star Trek’.

          • i was a huge Lost fan until that abomination they called season 6. but i’m with you on the other talking points!

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            Lost was good, but only if it had went on indefintely, there was no way to successfully end that series. It was just so far out that no logical conclusion could possibly be written that would satisfy even a small majority of fans.

          • I thought Fringe was going to end up with the same bundle of loose ends, but thankfully Abrams wrapped that one up nice and neat. I should break out my DVD’s of that this weekend or next week.

          • i think if they could have stuck to science (instead of milquetoast religious overtones) it would have been more satisfying.

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            I do however like 8mm. The seedy underground of the snuff film is horrifying yet strangely fascinating at the same time. Well, i hear my vaporizer calling…………………

          • Super 8 was fucking AWFUL, but I liked that first Star Trek remake. And Zoe Saldana makes me all:

            http://i.imgur.com/UavtFjF.gif

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            she’s purty girl,against guns but if it makes her happy i say yes to guns.

          • She can come over and play with my own personal Super Soaker anytime! And I’m not talking about the toy!

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            well making her get in a white shirt and panties and spraying her with a real super soaker would be a good start.

          • I’ll just go ahead with the Peter North/Monsters Of Cock style action and hose her down!

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            A lot of new videos are using fake rubber dicks to spray down the girls. In other words its fake. I hate shit like, makes a guy feel inferior when he isn’t, its just on screen trickery.

          • Not with me it isn’t!

            http://i.imgur.com/NOkrIWm.gif

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            yes, yes, ………………………………..

          • KJM

            Zoe was great in Guardians Of The Galaxy, awesome movie.

          • Haven’t seen it but the trailer looked good.

          • KJM

            It’s a lot of fun.

          • I’m waiting for Cloverfield 2! And a Fringe (one of my all time favorite shows) movie!

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            is there going to be a fringe movie ?. The blond girl in that made me have impure thoughts and i sure wish she could wear a bikini more.

          • Haven’t heard anything about it, and highly doubt it. Astrid (the black chick) made me pop 100000000000 boners every single time!

    • there’s a lot of internet hubub about that lightsaber. what’s your take on it?

      • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

        It looks gay, there should be no hilt on a lightsaber. Its like training wheels. Or a circus performer working with a net. No skill needed. A hilt on a sabre ? – a jedi needs not these things.

      • The Satan Ov Hell

        People are saying it was in one of the books that I never read.

  • JWG

    Only-barely-tangential aside. Look what I just found on ISKRA’s Bandcamp:

    https://iskracrust.bandcamp.com/album/ruins

    New album! Physical-format release dates are TBA (according to their website: http://www.iskracrust.com/front.html ), but the whole album is streamable now.

    A properly-downloadable version will apparently be timed to release with the physical ones.

  • Stockhausen

    Excellent thoughts. I did Black Friday a few years ago when stores would open at 4 or 5 AM and hadn’t yet creeped into Thursday, but it was still one tiny step away from total anarchy. People are the absolute worst on that day.

    • Edward #RIPNEGROD

      The problem with the stores opening at 10:00 pm or whenever they open on Thanksgiving is how early the employees need to go in to get them open.

  • George Clarke

    fuck capitalism

    stay home and listen to jamz okay?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSIzeiMs5m4

  • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

    GREAT POST! LOVING THIS SOOO MUCH WHILE ON MY COUCH AWAY FROM THE DOOOSH MACHINE!

    • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

      Man, its been forever dude. Thought you had dissapeared ! What’s the deal with old cosby ? He used to bag on richard pryor and eddie murphy for swearing and here he is molesting women for 35 years. What an asshole, plus he was NEVER funny anyways. He is funnier now because of these constant rape reports that keep filing in.

      • more beer

        All knocked the fuck out too. What a piece of shit!

        • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

          I say we just put a bullet in his head right now. All those young girls who were humiliated and had to live their lives thinking about him. Plus he was NEVER funny ever. No jury is ever going to put the great bill cosby behind bars anyways.

          • more beer

            No they never will. Drugging them is some fucked up shit! How good could that pussy have been with them passed out one step above being a corpse?

      • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

        Hey bro! I’m Baaaaaack!! I got out of the swing for a while but I’m back and it feels good too! You’re so right about this doosh. The only show I was a fan of was Fat Albert. I guess being able to get laid whenever he wanted became boring and he started taking it from the unwilling. He always was an arrogant mofo. He got really bad after the Cosby show.. Total tool!

        • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

          Yea, i forgot fat albert, i did watch that in the early days of saturday morning cartoons, the golden years i like to call it. It was never my favorite but it filled the gaps in between the the best shows.

  • The Satan Ov Hell

    Buy some shirts to be trve kvvl 4 skvvl!

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    blacck friday—-

    united nations shot jfk—-united nations did 911

    http://youtu.be/1q91RZko5Gw

    http://youtu.be/iH2a30LTeWw?list=PL02C3579EE23CAFBC

    • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

      Is there anything better than JFK conspiracy theories. I mean is there really ? If sasquatch riding nessie with an alien “grey” behind him had been the third shooter behind the woody knoll now that would be a story.

      • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

        southeast asia war=u.n. expansionism——-

        the reason that north korea is demonized in the msm—is cause they refuse to join the u.n.

        mideast/africa wars are a continuation of the policy—but now under the helm of “Agenda 21”—-a policy based on pre internet /totalitarian post vietnam war /secret rockefeller divisionist cult/impartial eugenic program

        post jfk—->pbs tv u.n. indoctrination programming begins on population
        (kabbalah —-“all of us under it’s spell—-could it be magic—”

        tax payer funded “occult” religious manipulation–as “education”
        —-
        stupid mafia bitches——the kind that shoot men out of jealousy—ignorant cult sheep–spiritless

        http://youtu.be/f5_y0s-COl8

  • And the perfect theme song for Black Friday greed:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbD4Xpw6iHU

  • Count_Breznak

    There’s a critical lack of Binding of Isaac: Rebirth here. The game is awesome on it’s own, but well, this : http://bindingofisaacrebirth.gamepedia.com/Flush!
    ..and steamsales and so forth.

  • Sadistikexekution

    Stay da fuqq home and troll da T.O.H.

    • KJM

      Sounds like a plan.

    • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

      when did you start coming here ? I haven’t been here for a few weeks. I just come in friday to lay down my memes.

      • Scrimm

        That is not near enough Conan.

      • Sadistikexekution

        I’m preemptively looking for alternative to Metalsucks.
        I spent about 6 years growing and cultivating the Sadistikexekution troll brand on Blabbermouth, only to get banned because of an intolerant moderator.
        I want something ready at hand next time it happens 🙂

        • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

          krgin had it in for me on blabbermouth. I got banned a week before the new facebook format. I was getting comments removed, non controversial ones like lazarus ad is better than the big 4. That was one of my signature lines. Now that has changed to skeletonwitch is better than the big 4. Fuck him. Axl has always let me say the most heinous shit on ms without removing the comments or banning me. He is also not the one who took away the embedding, vince took the blame for that one.

          • Sadistikexekution

            Yeah, for 5+ years I wrote the most heinous shit on Bmouth (especially towards the original riotakt), that was never a problem.
            But towards the end the slightest slip of the keyboard was enough to get you banned.
            I still think it’s kinda cool that artists, even major artists, noticed us trolls hahaha

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            yea, i remember rex talked about blabbermouth in his biography and i don’t remember pantera getting any grief at all back then. Vinnie because of hell yeah, but rex did nothing that was really shitty, i don’t even know if kill devil hill was put together at the time of the book.
            So you think the original riotact is still on blabbermouth ?

  • And I’ll toss this little underrated gem I was watching for your amusement:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZrKbecv8qc

    IMHO, one of the best, weirdest and most underrated black metal bands out there.

    • Virgil the Ghost Poet

      They are done recording their new album to be released in the spring I believe.

      • Hell yeah, that’s definitely going to be on my list! Duncan Evans’ (their guitarist) solo CD is pretty kickass too.

        • Virgil the Ghost Poet

          I haven’t bought that yet. I’ll order both (since you said its kickass) when the pre-order comes out. Did you get the WaterWitch? That was good but not AFoS good.

  • Paris Hilton

    Idk about u dudes but I got some KILLER deals on Brack Friday Bundurus. Traffic to and from the malls was a FUCKING NIGHTMARE though…

  • Xan

    I’ll be offering a special today where you can purchase 100 Xan dollars for 20 real dollars of your regional currencies. For 500 Xan dollars, I will send you a recording of me saying one of my five iconic catchphrases including, “Where did I leave the tape?” and “Let’s re-establish the dynastic cyle!”. BUT WAIT, there’s more! For 1000 Xan dollars, I will order a pizza online and send it to myself but I will record a video of me eating the pizza while saying all five catchphrases.

    • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

      where do i sign up. Can i give you my credit card number now.
      7568 9887 0002 5678

    • I wonder what Blake Judd’s specials are for today!

      • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

        Buy one, get one free, get nothing.

        • A VIP pass to the finest back alley dumpsters Chicago has to offer, and a chance to hang out with him in the urine soaked back of an El Train.

      • KJM

        A free trip to your local Suboxone clinic with every order!!!

  • Call the Slambulance

    As someone who worked (retail) this Thanksgiving and Black Friday, I can confirm that it sucks. A lot.

    • KJM

      I worked retail for 5 years. Once I quit I swore I would sooner deal smack to schoolchildren than ever do it again. My sympathies.

      • I worked at a TJ Maxx for 2 weeks, so I know the horror. (actually wasn’t bad, and bagged a Polish chick along the way)

        • KJM

          1/2 of that time was working at a Strawberries/FYE so there were perks like free promo albums and the occasional free concert.

          • Hell, I got shitloads of that just for working for an online magazine! Usually 2-3 free concerts a week for a long while (almost always with a guest pass, which I exploited the hell out of), and more promos than I knew what to do with.

        • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

          Where do you hail from my friend ?

          • Mostly Chicago, since I spent almost all my entire adult life there and that’s where I identify with. But I lived in Dallas, Miami, WI, Puerto Rico, KY (several areas, including the Cinci Tri-state area), Alabama, Mississippi, been to Portland, Cleveland, Seattle, Pittsburgh, St. Louis, and Indianapolis, and born in Newport, RI.
            My years growing up was a clusterfuck of moving around, but 14 of my 33 years were in Chicago, so I simply just say I’m from there. :-p

            And you?

          • CONANtheMomsenFuckingKING

            Canada, middle of the country, province of saskatchewan. City of 25,000, mostly canadian redneck territory. Really backwoods, a lot of un educated alcoholicc types. A lot of duck dynasty type people. Basically no culture at all.

          • But you got poutine. 😉
            Always wanted to visit Canada, a great friend of mine lives there in Quebec. To be honest, as much as I love and miss Chicago, so many things I don’t miss about there. Shitty weather on par with Canada, the most gangs in America, the most murders in America overall, almost $12 bucks a day to ride the bus or train, largest set of school closings in American history, most gangs in America, etc. But at the same time, the best years of my life. Great metal and music scene, breathtaking architecture, great clubs and dive bars, hot chicks, best herb I’ve ever smoked (stopped ages ago), etc. I’d say visit at least once, and skip the travel brochures, I can tell you the hot spots.
            Here in Hampton Roads, VA? It’s chill. I needed that after a while, and it’s a metropolitan area, so close enough to city life.

          • Oh, and been to Nashville and Memphis. Sadly, yes, I’ve been to Dollywood and loved it. The Smoky Mountains have some excellent spelunking though, which was awesome.

  • Randall’s Sweaty Space Pants

    FUCK YOU, JOE. I DO WHAT I WANT LIKE BUYING SHIT I DON’T NEED.