Beartooth – In Between: A Video Breakdown

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Beartooth? There tooth! There castle!

You ever just know you’re not going to like something? Maybe it’s a restaurant that uses all sorts of ingredients you don’t like. Maybe a book about a subject you don’t care about. Or perhaps a movie written by Diablo Cody. The point is that there are times when you know you won’t like something. When you have a band featuring Caleb Shomo, a former vocalist of Attack Attack, that feeling bubbles to the surface. They say not to judge a book by it’s cover, but they never say to not judge a book by the author. Perhaps I’m being unfair. To quote the Angry Video Game Nerd, “Sometimes you have to take a bad shit to take a good shit.” Maybe that’s the case with Mr. Shomo. Perhaps Attack Attack was the doubled-over in pain, shouldn’t have eaten that day-old KFC bad shit to Beartooth’s good shit. Bring extra TP, and let’s find out.

0:01: Whoa with the whoas.
0:07: Sweet blob tattoos, bro.
0:10: He’s about to satisfy the hell out of that microphone.
0:13: Oooh, a Love Shack cameo!
0:18: Is… is he yelling at a mini-fridge?
0:22: “God, why won’t you keep my Hot Pockets frozen?!”
0:31: It’s impressive how they can get that sound with out plugs and cords.
0:35: Judging by the drummer, the weather on that mountain is “Extra Greasy”.
0:42: If that mic gets any closer, he’s going to chip a tooth.
0:46: Nice of his mom to put his art projects on the wall. Got to support a child’s interests.
0:52: If a chestburster pops out of him, this video will be a 10/10.
0:56: I’d even settle for the Spaceballs version of a chestburster.
1:00: He must’ve gotten an emotion stuck in his eye.
1:03: Things are bad when you’re washing your hands in a bed pan.
1:14: Mirror, mirror on the wall, why won’t my bff give me a call?
1:19: What kind of name is Beartooth anyway?
1:21: Wouldn’t “Bear Teeth” “Teeth Of The Bear” be better? Why just one tooth?
1:25: I mean, “Korn” is a stupid name, but it’s way better than “Korn Niblet”.
1:31: Don’t yell at your piss basin just because you washed your face with it.
1:40: Oh, so this is where the term “Lumbersexual” comes from.
1:45: I have seen the mountain-top and… eh.
1:56: This song is the soundtrack to every 15 year old’s Tumblr page.
2:04: The floor actually has less feces on it than his bed.
2:15: Come on, Xenomorphs, where are you?!
2:22: So they brought a fan up to the mountain to blow his hair, but nothing to power on their instruments.
2:28: Oops, knocked over the piss basin again.
2:31: At least it will improve his smell. He stinks like Kardashian at Burning Man.
2:38: He’s got a death grip on that mic. Is it trying to run away? I don’t blame it.
2:43: That’s not how you hold an ax.
2:49: The wet rock represents the wet rock in all of us.
2:52: This looks like one of those prostate medication commercials. Maybe he’ll sit in a bathtub in public too.
2:55: Popcore 101
3:06: Someone get this guy some swimmies.
3:13: Riveting.
3:20: Heeeeeeeere’s Bearthoothy!
3:27: Plot twist: They’re saving him just so they can harvest his organs.

That was some ultra-polished inoffensive WarpedTourcore music. It’s got just the slightest amount of breakdowns, chuggity chugs, and screaming where it might accidentally slip into a metal section of a record store. There’s far worse out there. I guess that’s the nicest thing I can say about them.
Beartooth’s album “Disgusting” is available now.

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