Apologies From Oklahoma

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As a resident of Oklahoma, please accept my heartfelt apology on behalf of my gross state.

Every year, we’re painfully reminded of the existence of Rocklahoma. We feel a great disturbance in the Force as tens of thousands of flat-brimmed Fox Racing hats and Monster shirts descend on the garbage town of Pryor, Oklahoma, the deafening clang of their Trucknutz reverberating across the plains in a heinous anthem of douche. Look at this flyer and think about how much lower Oklahoma’s average literacy level will be on those days (to be fair, it didn’t start very high). Think of how many times the Confederate flag will be defended to someone who replies with “Hell yeah, brother.” Think of the poor young men who will instantly have chin strap facial hair when stepping within a five-mile radius of the event.

As recompense for this yearly self-inflicted tragedy, please accept this list of excellent bands from Oklahoma. Not everything about my state is a hot pile of garbage.

The Great He-Goat is an aggressive black metal band with convincing melodic tendencies and a flair for longer, well-written tunes. Their EP from 2014 is only a few bucks, and it is excellent. Give them a like on Facebook.

The oddly named Senior Fellows go hard with their heavy-handed sludge. The neck-vein-bulging urgency of the vocals sit perfectly on the slow, crushing catchiness of the music. If you like heavy, you like Senior Fellows.

My good buddies in Broken Flesh play some of the most mosh-inducing, slam-worthy death metal out there. Obscenely heavy and terrifyingly brutal, their 2015 self-titled album will convince you that no wall is a match for your head. Buy the album here.

For all of your blasphemous black metal needs, an individual by the name of Revenant has a few different projects (MolochBlack Candle Ritual, and Blackmoon Spells) and a small record label. Check out this icy, grim, and excellent track from the Moloch album Cold Black Death.

For you dweebs out there (like me), Anatma mixes up our list with their meandering, groovy instrumental prog. These guys can play circles around most others on their instruments, but only get flashy at the right times. The groove, the jam, and the killer tunage reigns supreme here.

Lastly, Contagion 237 brings an unhinged dose of riffy, grindy death metal on their 2015 full length, Autolobotomy. It’s a blasting thrill-ride of an album that warrants a lot of repeated listening.

Ahh, I already feel better about living here. There were plenty of solid bands I left out, but these should help offset the monstrous garbage pile of Rocklahoma. Oh, and in case you forgot the pissed-off hardcore jams of Cottonmouth, the Oklahoma winner of the best unsigned band contest, hit that up again.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Scorpions is the one bright spot here. Also, Last In Line is the new Dio tribute from Vivian Campbell so that’s good as well.

    • Bossicus thee Rossicus

      Plus The Sword.

    • You upvote your own comments.

      Downvote!

      • Dubs

        yin and yang.

        • Huh, I’ve never intended to upvote my own. All well.

          • Dubs

            Nor should you. I was just saying that it’s like bringing balance.

          • Ah, I see.

          • Dubs

            I think the only time I’ve ever upvoted myself was on the AOTY post where we had everyone vote on their favorite releases.

          • Yeah, I think I’ve done the same. I’ll upvote my own every once in a while just temporary to see who liked something. That’s about it.

          • Dubs

            If you refresh the page and hover back over, you can see upvotes with upvoting yourself.

          • Well I’ll be damned, Out of all the years of doing this I had no idea. Just when you think you figured it all out.

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        You make me feel like I’ve been tied to the whipping post. Tied to the whipping post.

        • Good.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            You make me feel Iike im dying.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Allman Brothers. Fuckin’ A!

          • This live version is better than the studio song by miles and miles. So goddamn good.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            One of those bands that absolutely bettered everything in a live setting. At Fillmore East is in my top 10 non-metal albums of all time.

          • Fuck yes!

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Yay, you figured it out!

      • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop
        • WHAT!?! Odd but kinda cool.

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

            Met him years back when I interviewed Devin, and the guy is built like a linebacker! And really cool guy.

          • He’s lost a shit ton of wait though since then. I saw him a couple years ago while playing for Dark Angel and I barely recognized him.

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

            Drumming = the ultimate exercise.

    • Guppusmaximus

      Yea, I can’t wait to hear the rest of the debut from Last in Line. The two available tracks were pretty damn good…

  • Edward/Breegrodamus™

    On my end, the same Bandcamp player appears three times for that Revenant character.

    • Dubs

      Got it.

  • Guacamole Jim

    Anatma’s album I’ve had for a while now, very awesome listen.

    • Stockhausen

      Good! Those dudes are really cool, they’re actually in the studio right now covering an Intronaut track (I don’t remember which one). We were actually going to go on a short tour with them, but it ended up falling through.

  • Dubs

    “5-Star Hooker”

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      There’s also a band called 3d In Your Face on the billing. They sound awful.

  • Guacamole Jim

    Aren’t you forgetting the best band in Oklahoma??

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmRs_S0BaQE

    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      And here I thought this was the best band in Oklahoma…

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGES_a3MKhg

      • Stockhausen

        There is no way I will ever click play on this video.

        • Dagon

          There is no way I will ever not click play on this video.

    • Arhys

      This band djents hard.

    • Stockhausen

      Gross.

      EDIT: I haven’t listened to this recording in awhile, hahaha. Allow me to say that I’m looking forward to our new album.

      • Guacamole Jim

        You and me both, man. But this album is hella dope. Actually, the only Dischordia album I can’t say that about is the covers one, simply because I don’t own it yet.

        • Dubs

          It sucks as much as the rest of Dischordia’s stuff. That is to say, very little.

          • Stockhausen

            Awwww!

        • the covers album has a song by Tom Waits. who even IS that?

          • Guacamole Jim

            Some nerd shit, I think.

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

            Scarlet Johannsen has an album of Tom Waits covers.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USiLOQFW3X4

          • Stockhausen

            I think he sings “Freed Bird.”

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            All I know is that he stands there while Jeremy Irons

        • Stockhausen

          I like it better than anything else of ours. Project 19 sounds aaaaaaawful.

        • Waynecro

          The Decapitated cover on that album is outstanding. It sounds so goddamned thick.

  • Bossicus thee Rossicus
    • Bossicus thee Rossicus

      Sorry, couldn’t resist.

    • I wish this beer was better : /

    • Stockhausen

      Accurate beer is accurate, and also terrible tasting.

      • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

        So is pretty much any beer with a gimmick.

        • more beer

          Or any beer you drink.

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

            Hey now, mine’s cheap and I don’t exactly have a lot of cash nowadays. But, on the other hand, I was drinking almost the same thing when I was actually making cash. Today is a drink and smoke day, BTW! Got some Schlitz, a Clubtails Long Island Iced Tea and some herb. 🙂

  • RustyShackleford

    Good thing I’m in the mood for slams today! Broken Flesh has got me breaking out my moshing shorts despite the piles of snow…Yup.

    • Stockhausen

      SPIN KICK THAT SNOW IN THE FACE

  • Thanks for reminding me about Senior Fellows, I need to revisit that. I remember enjoying it.

    • Bossicus thee Rossicus

      I’m looking forward to checking them out later.

    • Stockhausen

      I somehow didn’t know about them until digging up bands for this article. That album is a slow, beautiful punch to the gut and I love it.

  • May 27, 28, and 29th is Maryland Death Fest. Tuff decision Stocky.

    • Stockhausen

      In addition to being better in every single way, I would assert that MDF will even smell better. And that’s really saying something.

      • Hahaha! I don’t know man. Soundstage is filled up with crusties.

        • Dubs

          We’re comparing too different smells here. Axe Body Spray and diesel fumes vs. crust sweat and rank beer.

          • Wow. If all 4 were mixed together.

            http://i.giphy.com/Omp8KCjblqlfG.gif

          • Stockhausen

            Exactly. And Dubs forgot to mention lots and lots of manure.

          • Dubs

            Ah yes, the oppressive odor of the feeding lots when the winds shift.

          • Random comment. I was listening to this album early this week and thought of a few of you guys especially you for whatever reason. It’s this really interesting take on black metal. I really can’t explain it but it’s really out there. I think that’s why I thought you might like it. I happen to really enjoy it, as a matter of fact I listened to it again this morning. It might be a swing and a miss but I figured I’d pass it over.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJDVaP0j25c

          • Dubs

            I’ll check it out!

          • Killer! It’s a dark trip.

          • I live in central PA buddy, I’m immune to the smell manure.

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop
  • Hells Headbangers has a special going on today.

    ALL CDs & 7″s IN THIS SECTION ARE JUST $3.33 EACH FOR A LIMITED TIME.

    http://shop-hellsheadbangers.com/333-CD-SALE.asp

  • COAL ROLL

    Don’t you have a Baphomet statue on the front lawn of your state Capitol?

  • CyberneticOrganism

    HELL YEAH ROCKLAHOMA BRO LET’S GET FUCKED UP AND JUMP OFF A PORTA POTTY

    http://nr92.com/wp-content/uploads/LukeBryanKnoxville20140118048.jpg

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Also I really dig that Great He-Goat track, good stuff m/

    • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

      RIP, coal rolling.

  • Void Meditation Cult confirmed for Hells Head Bash 3. Oh fuck yes!!!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c10Ue_MTMrA

  • Dagon

    Waiting for The Sultry She-Goat spin off.

    –EDIT–

    Seriously though, The Great He-Goat has some cool tunes.

  • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

    Gah, you live in Oklahoma?! Granted, I’m in VA, but it’s nowhere near as hee ha as Oklahoma. At least not where I live, anyways.

    http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/filestorage/oklahoma-postcard-louisiana-purchase-postcards-ecards-someecards.png

    • Stockhausen

      Haha. As long as you’re far away from West Virginia, you’re probably good.

      • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

        Lol, on the exact opposite end (in Hampton Roads)! I’m next to the Atlantic Ocean, thankfully as far as you can get from West Virginia. I’m closer to North Carolina than here. Been through WV a few times, and it’s pretty much like if Peach Blunt Smoke ran a state.

        • more beer

          I met some of the most redneck people I ever met in my life in Virginia.

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

            There’s definitely some around here, but not many from what I’ve noticed. My last place in Hampton was a fucking nightmare though. Redneck landlord and an MMA-wannabe bro roomie. I complimented the landlord’s truck and he told me, and I quote “bringing that thing home is like bringing a n—–r to my daughter”. That’s how bad that idiot was. The other roomie kept getting in my face and talking about how he was gonna kick my ass, only after he knocked back a couple of Four Lokos. I simply told him “anytime you’re ready, swing”. Thankfully I got out of there after a month, and been in my new place for the last 2 years. Shit happens, but it’s way better and far less redneck around here.

            Where were you stationed at, if I can ask?

          • more beer

            Naval Amphibious Base Little Creek. In Norfolk lots of redneck tweekers around there. Hampton is where the shipyards are.

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

            Norfolk, that explains that! I’ve only been there a few times, but there’s tons of rednecks over there and Portsmouth.

            Actually, the shipyards are over here in Newport News. Has been for a long time, but then again you were stationed out here probably before that.

          • more beer

            I know they are. That’s where they take ships to dry dock. So they can make repairs and upgrades. They have been doing that there since before I was born.

      • more beer

        I have some friends there who are metal as hell.

  • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

    At least OK has Chuck Norris.

  • ME GORAK, RIFF OV WEEK CHAMP

    GORAK LIKE BROKEN FLESH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

      I can get down wit this

      • 3 times listening now. So goddamn good! Probably my most anticipated release for this year.

    • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

      Fucking shit, this is good! Punishing as hell, heavier than a pig shitting concrete, and the production is excellent. Pray for my weeping wallet, I’m definitely purchasing this one.

  • Sir Tapir The Based
  • Guppusmaximus

    Nah…You shouldn’t feel the need to apologize. It’s not your fault and it won’t change anything. I never apologized for that shit-stain of a festival Localpalooza aka Locobazooka here in MA. However, it was a good opportunity to share some good jams. m/ m/

  • Waynecro

    The Great He-Goat sounds pretty killer, and I jam Broken Flesh and Contagion 237 quite a bit. Autolobotomy is a fucking beast.

  • >presented by Bud Light

    Well that about sums it up, doesn’t it?

  • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

    Dreams of Rocklahoma…were soooo close.

  • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

    Lol, another “Does that say Toilet Ov Hell on your shirt?!?” moment. :-p

  • OldMetalHead

    The Great He-Goat is a stupid name for a band, but they fucking rip.

  • Óðinn

    Five Finger Death Punch, Collective Soul, Hatebreed, AND Sebastian Bach will be there this year, so you know it will be good. God bless middle-America (only), and its good, honest, hardworking people. 😉

    http://godfatherpolitics.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Chrisitan-rock.jpg

    • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

      Gahhhhh! I actually like Collective Soul. but had no idea they were still together.

  • J.R.™

    I was working my way down the bandcamp embeds and I am stuck on Senior Fellows. Straight hooked. Sorry to the bands below, I can carry on no more