Akerstache: King of Cock Rock

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Hello! Jimmy McNulty here. Find me an individual who doesn’t enjoy some quality cock rock, and I’ll show you a liar. This isn’t your father’s cock rock (or is it?), this is something new. Something modern and classic at the same time. Something capable of blowing MINDS.

I clicked on an unassuming link on [some ridiculous metal blog] years ago and discovered my new favourite band… AKERSTACHE! I’ve shared this amazeballs music with my metal friends and they all dig it. If we’re ever BBQ’ing or roadtrip’ing, anyone can throw on some Akerstache and everyone’s happy. (It doesn’t even scare away the girls, they don’t LOVE it but they appreciate the humour.) (Ed. Note: Aren’t you American, Jimmy?)

Akerstache bases his song titles around recent Opeth song titles, but that’s only the beginning of the genius. The rest is his own amazing talent behind every instrument he plays (and dem vocals). Akerstache may be one person, might be many people; there really is no information about this him/her/it/them. AND there is no way of giving this person my money: no shirts to purchase, no albums to own digitally, no one to support. The music is all free! Which brings me to an interesting thought, “is Akerstache really Mikael Akerfeldt?”

 

We first observe Akerstache with the album “Heritage (Of Love)”, from which I shall list the song titles:

“Heritage (Of Love)”

“The Devils Orchard (God Is Dead, Baybuh)”

“I Feel the Dark (In the City)”

“Slither (My Snake All Over Your Body)”

“Nepenthe (Was Her Name)”

“Haxprocess (The Process of Love)”

“Famine (In the City)”

“The Line In My Hand (Tell Me You’re The One)”

“Folklore (Interlude In Em composed by the Keytar)”

“My Love For You Is Deeper (Than The Marrow of the Earth)”

Here is the first single “Slither (My Snake All Over Your Body)”:

Listen to that “breakdown”! Does that scream 80’s or what? I’m thinking “Still of the Night” by Whitesnake. This dude is talented, make no mistake.

Also if you can get your hands on the “Ultimate Reverb Edition” of Akerstache’s debut album, you’ll find covers of some popular artists of this generation: DVDA, Nickelback, and Gunther!

 

Sure enough, Akerstache responded years later with the BEST ALBUM of his career, “Storm Corrosion (Of Love and Emotion)” featuring Stephen Wilton. This collaboration brings us the ultimate, rain-soaked, whiskey-drenched love letter to our own emotions. They bare it all on this album. “Storm Corrosion (Of Love and Emotion)” is no longer on YouTube; but I found it on SoundCloud:

The title track (track 2) is easily my favourite. It’s 10 minutes of musical genius with only one line of dialogue repeated multiple times… but those 10 minutes never get old, never seem to drag. Those 10 minutes are better than most bands’ typical three minute song! Keyboard solos, guitar solos, quiet introspective moments, electronic drums, and more emotion than you’ll ever hear in one song. Another notable cut from this album is track #6, “Ljudet Innan (The Sound Before You Left”). It starts out as an emotional ballad about a man’s sorrow, then kicks into high gear for the bridge with some thrashing cock rock and an amazing guitar solo. The album’s final song is a Steel cover entitled “Say Goodbye (to Love)” with some of the best high-pitched vocals you’ll ever hear in metal.

 

The third (and most recent) album is entitled “Evolution XV (The Revolution of Cock”) and Akerstache gets a little experimental with the first track “In Mist She Was Standing (A Suite In 6 Parts”):

It’s a seven-minute prog-tastic song topped off with permed hair, tight leather, and exposed chest hair. This sounds like something Rush might have made in a parallel universe in which they experimented with rock rock. Flute? Check. Keyboards? Check. Sexy bass? Yup.

“Evolution XV” isn’t my favourite Akerstache record, but that only means the next one will be even better. Aside from showing off the first track, I want to showcase the final track: it’s a live cover of “Famine (In The City)” off their first album. Just listen to how TIGHT they sound live:

 

What follows are download links to the first and third albums in MP3 format:

http://www.mediafire.com/download/62i11mrc6iiat2n/Akerstache+-+Heritage+%28Of+Love%29+%28Ultimate+Reverb+Edition%29+%281986%29.zip

http://www.mediafire.com/download/t2k0276gs6wyw2j/Akerstache+-+Evolution+XV+%281986%29.zip

Since “Storm Corrosion (Of Love and Emotion)” has been taken down from YouTube, I will gladly provide a link from my personal DropBox account for you to get it!

Stay cock, BAYBUH!!!

I hope you liked my first article. If you want to share your thoughts on it, you can find me at the bar with Bunk after work…

(Via)

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