A Steel Leave of Absence

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Sharing the toilet with you for the past two weeks has been a real pleasure, but it’s time for Masterlord SteelDragon to get some fresh air.

I’m leaving for a week-long sabbatical to Yellowstone (pictured above). I fully intend to go some places and see some things in those places.

asfdsa

Be it known that I will miss you all dearly and that my influence will endure through a few posts I’ve left for Prime Mover and Grand Toilet Progenitor Joe Thrashnkill to publish as he sees fit. I will return with pictures and possibly a shirt, which I currently lack (pictured above).

Here’s an excellent song about nature. It gets me right in my burning steel heart every time.

 

Keep it steel, friends. May the flush be with you.

-MSD


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  • W.

    Godspeed, you steel emperor.

    • Post-rock is my soft spot.

      • W.

        Did you get the last Lovecraft post off?

        • Yup it’s submitted!

        • JWG

          I don’t know if there can ever really be such thing as too much Harvey Birdman, but rereading this made “did you get that thing I sent ya” pop into my head maybe *way* too quickly.

          #NeverStop

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            nope, never enough my friend, never enough………..

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            while i’m at it, i have been watching cartoons for 40 years and have never come across these 2 before. Anyone know their place in the hanna barbara hierachy.

          • TrickleDownTacoRiff

            They were tied in with Magilla Gorilla and friends. They began with Peter the hippopatomus. They were a poor mans Yogi and boo boo. I used to get most of my Magilla on the Banana splits show.

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            lol, hhahahh, i just saw repeats of banana splitz on canadian cartoon network. There were 3 different cartoon. 3 musketeers , something about an arabian scooby doo ish type group, a one about this family who are shrunk to ant size. Then there was a live action part involving a family trying to avoid capture from some kind of pirate ? All i remember is one of the good guys was played by jan-michael vincent from the air wolf show ( hahahhahah, i am laughing more as i write this, just one shitty show blends into another shitty half assed show so seamlessly. The other thing i remember is a blonde girl being somewhat attractive.
            I am super high as i write this so forgive me for this nostalgic foray but i am getting a big laugh out of it.

          • TrickleDownTacoRiff

            Have you seen Jan Michael now? Wow! Your description reminds me of Danger Island on the Bananna Splits: U OH CHONGO!

          • W.

            I remember seeing them on an old Hannah Barbera sampler VHS. They were those two arctic critters who played pranks on the military officials at an ice base.

      • EsusMoose

        So in bison related post-metal https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKiXGXpxZYI

  • +1,000,000 points for dat photoshop!

    • W.

      The bad photoshops are really the only thing I miss about MS.

      • YourLogicSucks

        I can totally assist with that, but unfortunately only after work hours. Any requests for over the weekend?

        • W.

          George Bush with a hawk’s head.

          • YourLogicSucks

            Will do, gimme like 4 hours.

          • W.

            Sweet.

          • Mook Styfawker

            Beat him to it, though his will probably be way better because he won’t spend ten minutes making his.

          • YourLogicSucks

            I wasn’t happy with my cut and paste head replacement, so I made this magnificent creature instead. (I am way better at face swaps and facial distortions, ask for one of those next time)

          • This is a flawless creation.

          • YourLogicSucks

            Example of my face swap work.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Would bone both, either face.

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            oddly enough they look better with different hair colors.

          • W.

            Beautiful.

      • Drilldo Pillow

        I too can assist with all your photoshop needs. Adding dicks to everything makes my work day way less murdery.

    • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

      ……………

      • Xan

        I cannot tell you how much I missed that.

      • M Shadows!

        Oh ho ho, edgy! M SHADOWS FOR METALSUCKS PRESIDENT 2015!

        • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

          I will support you, but only if you rip off Born in the USA for your campaign song.

          • M Shadows!

            Hmmm, I will consider it. I don’t know if illejay can handle it.

    • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

      what’s the deal with V(agina) & Axhole’ site. Second day dead as a stone. Weird.
      At first i was reluctant to be blamed for the removal of image imbedding over there.
      Now i am ready to receive full credit for the creation of this superior site !
      HAIL TO THE MOTHERFUCKING KING OF CIMMERIA !

  • Tyree

    YES! Keep em coming! I just found out about a black metal band from Ukraine called Do Skonu. Here is a song from their 2014 release Winds of Decay and Death. I posted this on the Facebook page too. http://doskonu.bandcamp.com/album/winds-of-decay-and-death

  • Howard Dean

    I will actually be visiting less frequently in the next week, too. On that campaign trail, motherfuckers!
    (Translation: I’m taking a week off work, so I will probably be checking in here a lot less than I normally do when I’m sitting behind a computer all week)
    Vacation! Byyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!

  • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis

    As much as I love the hilarious MS Paint brushing to cover up the black around your greatness, I present to you my own recreations of your highness, pixel-perfect and one that has a transparent background for your adventures (the second one)

    • W.

      I started teaching myself GIMP about a month ago so that I could make higher quality bad-photoshops, but unfortunately I haven’t had as much time to practice.

      • Xan

        I’m still hitting it up with paint.net.
        Edit: Totally just realized that it linked to some random website. Oh well.

    • Wow thanks! Up until now, I wasn’t even aware that I had feet!

      • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis

        I wasn’t sure if you did or not, so I made some!
        Also if you guys need any photoshop work or anything and need help, lemme know.

    • JWG

      I tried to post a transparent PNG a few days ago (a Shy Guy).

      I guess Disqus decided just to be extra illogical: it showed up with a red outline separating it from the black background … despite being entirely B&W.

  • Xan

    Man, have a great time. Yellowstone is one of the places that would be near the top of my list of places to go (Just behind New Zealand (I love Lord of the Rings) and Tibet).

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Yellowstone is indeed amazing.

  • KJM

    Fun fun fun, in the sun sun sun

    • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

      ,,,,,

      • KJM

        Excellent.

      • Max

        Carcass cameo’d on that show once! (Billed as “Smeg and The Heads”)

        • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

          I missed that , will have to look it up, great show though, did you notice they put on a laugh track for a couple of seasons ?. That really threw me for a loop. They did it on purpose just to play with the viewers i guess. I find it off putting. Almost forcing a person to laugh at something they might not think is funny.

          • Max

            You can also find YouTube footage of the guy who played Lister hosting kids’ show called “What’s That Noise?” (or at least, a show which had a segment of that name) where he interviewed Steer/Dorrian-era Napalm Death.

            I’ll keep saying this ’til people kill me in annoyance: We actually are living in a universe, where once upon a time, Mick Harris, the father of grindcore and dubstep; Bill Steer, the father of gore metal, and Lee Dorrian, the father of modern doom metal…WERE ALL IN A BAND TOGETHER. FOR REAL. And it wasn’t just some garage project before they got famous. IT WAS NAPALM FUCKING DEATH. THE MIND BOGGLES.

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            When that band broke apart it was like a metaphorical realization of an extreme music big bang theory.

  • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis

    Stay away from dem hawks.

    • Owlswald

      Who?

  • JWG

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgyBpyNF5uU

    …Well. It’s sort of about nature (rape for profit thereof).

    • crazytaco_12

      Great fucking name for a band, holy shit never even thought of that

  • Have fun.

  • Lady SteelDragon

    He’s mine this week, you nerds.

  • CyberneticOrganism

    Ha ha ha nice photoshops. Enjoy Yellowstone, it’s one of my favorite places ever.

  • Sight Vnseen

    You’ve earned it. You’ve been working pretty hard lately.

  • Rob M

    Hey toilet guys…second wave of MDF 2015 bands was announced today

    ..also, enjoy Yellowstone chief..place is gorgeous

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    Yellowstone is one of the most metal places to holiday in, having an enormo-fuckular volcano underneath.

  • I’ll meet you there. You can finally meet my 7 year old son.

  • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

    A new feature for to beat the friday blues for those of us who will be sitting in front of the computer this weekend. I like to call it.
    : Horrible lyrics from good 80’s albums.
    Dangerous Toys – self titled – 1989 CBS records – ceritification , USA platinum
    Sport’n A Woddy

    Well there’s women in the city that make me feel shitty
    And there’s some that make me pack a wad
    But the one’s that are fine, oh will never be mine

    1st chorus:
    I ain’t got no money, i ain’t got no home
    I got to find me a bim to live with tonite ( i assume by bim he means bimbo, terrible lyric)

    2nd chorus:
    sport’n a woody when you’re walkin’ by
    sport’n a woody when you’re titties fly
    sport’n a woody, rippin’ my fly

    Well my woody get’s big when you’re takin a swig
    And your drink’s makin’ you loosen up
    Starts a-talkin’ to me, well look down and you’ll see
    What the hell i been talkin’ about
    1st chorus
    2nd chorus

    Don’t know what i’m gonna do, can’t stop lookin’ at you
    ‘Cause you’re sure lookin’ nice to me
    Well i wish you were sedated
    So i could at least penetrate you
    For an hour , maybe three, yeah
    I can’t go downtown much, all the working girl butts
    Ya know they really make my woody happy
    But in the night clubs and such
    And all the corner sluts
    Might me my waistband go snappy !

    Words jason McMaster
    Pretty solid debut, good album cover. McMaster was in watchtower and later broken teeth. One of the guys in the band photos is wearing a death shirt (thats cool for 89)

    Next week – Toys return with Teas’N’ Pleas’N

    • TrickleDownTacoRiff

      King Crom is benevolent benevolent!

    • CyberneticOrganism

      PULSATING STEEL PROTRUDES FROM MY THIGHS
      SHE WHO SPREADS IS SHE WHO DIES
      LONG AS MY ARM AND FIVE TIMES AS THICK
      YOU’LL DIE AT THE END OF MY IRON DICK

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBMepu0Zho8

      • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

        hahhah, yea , that’s painful shit, sounds like D grade priest lyrics.

      • Mook Styfawker

        Fitting song for you, Cybernetic. But what the heck is up with that guitar tone?

        • CyberneticOrganism

          I think they recorded it with one of those little pocket amps.

    • Max

      What, this was real? That’s actually quite risque by ’80s standards!

      ’89 though; perhaps they were stepping up their raunch factor in readiness for the popular culture onslaught of rap music.

      At any rate, I think you’ve won your own contest, Conan!

      • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

        Yea, it was real, it seems strange but the band was a lot of fun, they were from texas and it was all tongue in cheek humor. There was none of that fake ” tough buy ” business like there is these days with hell yeah and bands like that. But i think you would have to be quite a lover of 80’s metal like me to get past the bonehead lyrics, which were no doubt written as a joke and on the spot. The singer oddly enough had been the singer in a texas band called watchtower that were an early progressive band that released their first album in 83 with bobby jarzombek on drums. They are said to have influenced dream theatre, atheist, death & spiral architect.

        • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

          Actually to paint a bit more of what a large corner of the 80’s scene was like to those that weren’t there. Hair metal was pretty much devoid of the tough guy gimmick that has been stinking up the heavy music scene for a lot of years now. People would go to a show to have fun, the bands were not imposing , nor were they trying to be. The core bands of today do a lot of jumping and swearing, their faces beet red , king 810 would be the newest and perhaps worst evolution of how bad a core band can be. Loud, obnoxious, faux criminals, i mean how is that any different from the thug rap that went on for years ?
          People used to go to a show and actually watch the musicians play without stomping the shit out of each others girlfriends. One would watch how a guitar part was played, because the songs were there. It didn’t just blend into one big noise. I am of course talking 80’s metal here, it was a different mind set. Perhaps i am hanging myself with this comment but it seemed like the right thing to do.

          • Max

            There’s a lot of retro-oriented, scarf-on-the-mic-stand “sleaze rock” bands in my town nowadays. The quality of music isn’t always there; but I’ll say this: They certainly bring in a lot more chicks.

        • Paul Will.I.Am.s

          Watchtower are awesome, and the Jarzombeks are both great players. Bobby has been in Fates Warning for quite awhile, and Ron of course is the mastermind behind Blotted Science.

    • RuIN?

      I wore this album out I loved it so much. Actually one of the first CD’s I ever purchased. Really good songs and you are right. They were just ass kicking fun having times music that got me going. That song Scared was a good one and their Metal Ballad ‘Queen of the Nile’ was a keeper too. Strong ass album!!

      • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

        i heard their second one, but i never heard their subsequent albums. Another good band is kix, just a fun time rockish/metal band. I would describe them as doing what motley crue has always done , but with better players, vocals and songs across the board. They have actually been around just as long as crue too. They have a new album out right away that is way better than anything crue have put out since feelgood.

        • RuIN?

          I remember that Kix hit Cold Blood. They were good too. Do you remember hearing the story about Dangerous Toys collapsing a stage while they were touring. Apparently they were stomping around during the song 10 Boots and some county fair type stage they were playing on fell down. Rock and Roll!

  • TrickleDownTacoRiff

    Safe travels Masterlord, safe travels…

  • A Feed From Cloud Mountain

    Have fun Steel! Be sure to take some photos for us.

    Also @Joe Thrashnkill – got an idea for a topic I could write on! Drop me a line when it’s convenient for you if you are interested.

  • Wigger

    Hope you have funtimes. In other news, I just went on the Metal Injection comment section and it’s horrific.

  • geddy

    So I was thinking…Slash…Velvet Revolver…Britnet Spears. Sure…why not?

  • geddy

    yeah…thinking again…sort of like aimless shred noodles. Slash…Eddie Van Halen…weird ass versions of killer jams. Sure. Why not?

  • Just don’t end up like ‘Grizzly Man’! Or any Werner Herzog movie, for that matter!

    • Mr.CustodialArts

      I dunno, man…Nic Cage came out alright in BAD LIEUTENANT: PORT OF CALL NEW ORLEANS…sure, there were some close calls…

      • Lol, if you want to call that a happy ending!
        Curious if you ever saw ‘Knowing’. Definitely one of Cage’s most underrated films.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHw8URgDvxM

        • Mr.CustodialArts

          Oh man, I haven’t even HEARD of that one! I’ll watch anything that dude is in-and he’s in some REAL turds! NO FUCKS GIVEN. “JOE” was pretty gnarly…and I WILL watch “RAGE” soon. “DRIVE ANGRY”…LOVE IT. Thanks for the reco!

  • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

    Watch out for da bears. And melting roads. Apparently the park’s roads be melting and shit from the giant volcano underneath Yellowstone.
    Walk with Crom, MasterLord SteelDragon. And you better take some pictures. The mighty nipple demands photos!

  • Michael Assbender

    MAsterlord SteelDragon leaving us, not bendable.

  • Gurp

    Oh man, have a good time, Masterlord! Yellowstone is easily my favorite place I’ve ever gone to.